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Could Michael Bay make a good asoiaf movie?

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Someone upload the Elio Garcia Preston Jacobs interview before I piss myself

>>24975588
Yeah but the goat movie would skip over the eddard slop and get straight to the WotFK kino...

>>24975126
Little leery of fanfic but I am skimming Winter of Widows. I can tell it's written by a born woman because it's mind bogglingly retarded in places and seems to be about 40% fashion by volume. Period typical sexism as a tag usually involves blatant HAHA LADS A WOMAN and then lots of desperately trying to prove the clearly correct woman wrong and that's it here. The prime conflict drivers are other women and it's all because of petty stupid shit.

Scream against the Storm remains a favourite, and while I ditched the quest itself ages ago. Captain Westeros is still fun and self indulgent junk fic.

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Luv me sum Donal Noye.

Jon, Jon, it rhymes with in-love-with-a-male-prostitute-with-a-blown-out-asshole-on

theories are fun
the more farfetched the funner

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I will write a fanfic

>>24976119(me)
i miss the order of the green hand and their theory about Gerold Hightower and co being Mance and co.
gurm is intentionally being very vague to make fans engage in theory discussions.
why would a fucking wildling chieftain know about maesters' ink and goose quils and shit?
why would he hold the letter and only then say he can't read?
> “Snow?” said Tormund Giantsbane. “You look like your father’s bloody head just rolled out o’ that paper.”
> Jon Snow did not answer at once. “Mully, help Clydas back to his chambers. The night is dark, and the paths will be slippery with snow. Satin, go with them.” He handed Tormund Giantsbane the letter. “Here, see for yourself.”
> The wildling gave the letter a dubious look and handed it right back. “Feels nasty … but Tormund Thunderfist had better things to do than learn to make papers talk at him. They never have any good to say, now do they?”
> “Not often,” Jon Snow admitted. Dark wings, dark words. Perhaps there was more truth to those wise old sayings than he’d known. “It was sent by Ramsay Snow. I’ll read you what he wrote.”
> When he was done, Tormund whistled. “Har. That’s buggered, and no mistake. What was that about Mance? Has him in a cage, does he? How, when hundreds saw your red witch burn the man?”
> That was Rattleshirt, Jon almost said. That was sorcery. A glamor, she called it. “Melisandre … look to the skies, she said.” He set the letter down. “A raven in a storm. She saw this coming.” When you have your answers, send to me.
> “Might be all a skin o’ lies.” Tormund scratched under his beard. “If I had me a nice goose quill and a pot o’ maester’s ink, I could write down that me member was long and thick as me arm, wouldn’t make it so.”
> “He has Lightbringer. He talks of heads upon the walls of Winterfell. He knows about the spearwives and their number.” He knows about Mance Rayder. “No. There is truth in there.”
> “I won’t say you’re wrong. What do you mean to do, crow?”

>>24976130
>why would a fucking wildling chieftain know about maesters' ink and goose quils and shit?
To be fair, Mance could've told him about this

Had mulled wine. Absolute torture to drink. I always thought it would be tasty based on the Fatman's descriptions. I was lied to.

>>24975576
Walk with me, my sweet summer child, and hear the tale of fat pink masts jutting into sopping wet myrish swamps and black nipples brushing against silk until her cunt became the world while in the privy the princess guzzled arbor gold and shat but the more she drank the more she shat until she was shitting brown water and around her the planks of the ship groaned like a fat man taking a shit while she cursed the gods and nuncle smiled as he broke his fast on black bread, bacon burned black, and mulled wine while capon-grease dribbled down his chin and onto the boiled leather of his jerkin for she was wet with love and did she not know words are wind and dark wings bring dark words and a lannister always pays her debts and mayhaps this is nothing but a mummers farce and useless as nipples on a breastplate and the princess has been fucking lancel and moonboy for all nuncle knows and he is the blood of the dragon for the night is dark and full of terrors but where do whores go and jon snow knows nothing and near enough makes no matter so nuncle smiled and dipped the heel of his bread into clam chowder and prayed for half a hundred more heh har HODOR

>>24975995
The first few books are so good.

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>>24976237
>I was lied to.
Gurm would never lie.

>>24976165
would Mance have fun discussions about the life of maesters and how they do their shit with the wildling chieftains?

>>24976299
hate this fuck

I think this IP should just be let loose for every studio to pump out their own shows or animated series until eventually we get an ending that is so widely liked that its considered canon and then we can finally have a satisfying conclusion.
Obviously it would be more satisfying to READ IT in the BOOKKKKKKKKKK but the most positive polly thing we can hope for in this regard is the fat man dying and then we can see what he has written so far and notes.

>>24976237
Pleb taste is the problem there mate mulled wine is great.

if roose is a vampire and he skinchanges into ramsay, how's he gonna come back from consequences on all the shit ramsay's pulled?

>>24976123
I am writing one RIGHT NOW

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Recently found out that Renly's nickname "knight of the flowers" is probably from this IRL painting by a guy named Georges Rochegrosse. It's called The Knight Of The Flowers

Thought it was neat so sharing it here

>>24976864
book Ramsay wasn't so bad

>>24977158
tell us more, anon.

>>24977158
Newton was a Christian

>>24977443
>kidnaps lady hornwood, forces her to marry him, flays her a bit and lets her die of starvation in a dungeon
>flays and murders people indiscriminately, and everyone knows it
>manderlys want revenge for lady hornwood
>lady dustin wants revenge for domeric
>northern lords hear the crying of arya and assume abuse
not looking good idk

>>24977369
That's Loras' nickname not Renly's

>>24977620
>flays her a bit and lets her die of starvation
Is this talking about her chewing her fingers? She was 100% tortured to death Theon getting flayed would rather his finger get removed than feel it without skin

>>24976119
I just finished a reread and dipped into some theories and it’s crazy how when you’re fresh from a reread you can see how much theorists are ignoring evidence that doesn’t suit their hare brained ideas. Like I wanted to read about Pink letter theories and I ended on a Cantuse blog who is pretty well known/regarded, but they were trying to claim that Cersei off screen in Feast arranged for Jon’s assassination at the wall, making the point that early in Feast Cersei says she has a plan for Jon but we don’t see anything more. But we DO see more. We see Cersei repeatedly try and find a suitable bozo in KL to send to the Wall and repeatedly fail, the last of her tries being telling Osney Kettleblack to confess to the High Septon to bedding Margaery. We see Cersei’s attempts. We’re in her head. But this guy writes a whole ass theory about Cersei and Bowen Marsh being pen pals and ordering Jon’s death.

>>24977443
>>24977620
>>24977629
>“The bride weeps,” Lady Dustin said, as they made their way down, step by careful step. “Our little Lady Arya.”
>“Dressing her in grey and white serves no good if the girl is left to sob. The Freys may not care, but the northmen … they fear the Dreadfort, but they love the Starks.”
>“Not you,” said Theon. “Not me,” the Lady of Barrowton confessed, “but the rest, yes. Old Whoresbane is only here because the Freys hold the Greatjon captive. And do you imagine the Hornwood men have forgotten the Bastard’s last marriage, and how his lady wife was left to starve, chewing her own fingers? What do you think passes through their heads when they hear the new bride weeping? Valiant Ned’s precious little girl.”
>“Lady Arya’s sobs do us more harm than all of Lord Stannis’s swords and spears. If the Bastard means to remain Lord of Winterfell, he had best teach his wife to laugh.”

>>24977650
I can't think of a single example, IRL or in-universe, of someone starving who decides to eat their own fingers. Meanwhile flaying is established to be so painful that people being flayed would rather that body part be removed completely to spare them from the pain. I'm fairly certain it was
>Lady Hornwood gets tortured similarly to Theon, Ramsay does his shit where he fucks up her fingers so badly she begs for him to cut them off
>Eventually Lady Hornwood dies and body needs to be disposed of
>"Damn this bitch is missing half her fingers" morphs into "she was so hungry she was chewing her own fingers" as it gets passed along

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>AAAAAGGGGHHHH I AM SO MISJUDGED!!!!!
>I'm actually like a REALLY good fucking person!
>Ned Stark never gave me a fair shake!
>I just HAD to sit on the Throne after killing the Mad King and smugly joke about it when Ned found me
>I just HAD to not explain why I killed him to Ned or anyone else
>I just HAD to not mention the wildfire cache that the King wanted to detonate and kill everyone with
>I'm actually a really good fucking person. I saved all of Kings Landing. And, I suppose, myself and my father and sister and the rest of my extended family
>So I guess anyone would have made the decision to save millions, including their family and themselves over some vow, so it's actually a self-interested act and therefore not deserving of moral praise
>But I deserve it anyway! But people call me 'Kingslayer' instead!
>I could literally clarify what happened at any point to get them to stop, but I won't and instead I'll just continue to fuck my sister and endanger the realm
>I just HAD to fuck Cersei, I just HAD to fuck her at Winterfell, I just HAD to push Bran out the window
>I just HAD to father incestous bastard pretender Kings that would endanger the realm if ever discovered
>I'm actually a really good fucking person and my redemption arc is totally not forced and all of my actions are justified because I cried to Brienne about it

>>24977791
>jaime is a flawed person and a hypocrite
you're a regular dick tracy

>>24977797
A self-righteous hypocrite driven by vanity and insecurity who had no problem with his action until people started calling him mean names, which is literally just calling him what he is.

>>24977797
the fanbase jerks off his amazing "redemption arc" constantly, when it's completely nonsensical

Are you all ready for poop and fart jokes as the main punchlines for Dunk & Egg?

>>24978183
Oh sweet summer child...

I just want to relive the trainwreck that was season 8 at this point

>>24976299
It's fucking crazy how committed he is to Wild Cards of all things

>>24978439
He just edits/compiles it. It's pretty hands-off for him. When was the last Wild Cards story he actually wrote himself?

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>>24978183

Sunday, January 18th is the first episode.

>>24977802
It's not really nonsensical at all, it is unfinished though. We basically just got to what is maybe the climax of the first act or the start of the second of Jaime's possible redemption and we've been stuck there on a really annoying cliffhanger for years. It's possible he might not even fully redeem himself anyway and he won't fully address these flaws and hypocrisies in the end. Presumably his trial with Stoneheart and possible future story would be addressing these things further, beyond just trying to be nicer to the people you are conquering in the name of the false incest bastard king. I mean the fans might over sell his heroism but it's not like the books are totally uncritical of his efforts.

>>24978605
I hope it's good, but at the same time, I have steeled my heart and lowered my expectations for the "oh it's going to be more lighthearted and humorous" to end up being Westeros-themed Marvelslop dialogue.

>>24975605
I hate that hairstyle

Why is the editing in these books so bad? Constantly reusing the same text and phrases.

>>24978773
I dislike it from a personal standpoint but I like that in the early seasons they gave Kings Landing women elaborate bullshit hair to drive home the difference of royal court life compared to a more """simple""" noble household like Winterfell. Later on all the women just had mostly normal hairstyles you would see in 2025 from girls at a function or something. Like compare Cersei's Renaissance-ish hairdo in S1 to girls just having long hair with braids or curls

At least it wasn't as bad as what happened to the male characters' fashion in later seasons

>>24978778
NIPPLES BREASTPLATE
WORDS WINDS

>>24977802
what's nonsensical about it

>>24975605
Fuck Redteamreview for pushing it behind a payall

What's the point of Dawn? Is it really going to just hang on a wall collecting dust when it's arguably more potent than VS and could be useful in the long night?

>>24978801
the complete of it

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is gemini-3-pro right?

>>24978778
editing is always the bane of the gardening-style writing

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>>24978772

For what it's worth, GRRM has said he likes it and that the tv series sticks to the original story, which isn't hard as there are only three novellas to work with, (and Gurm will never write anymore...) thus each season will be six 1/2 hour episodes.

>>24979184
It would be very ironic if akotsk ends up being the best tv adaptation we're ever going to get considering how short the seasons will be.

Magic is a capricious asshole. A total fucking dick. It’s also a pedophile.

How did the Valyrians manage to get on its good side for so fucking long? I don’t understand. They had sorcerous infrastructure, which is something the CotF couldn’t even do.

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>>24979325

They're short novellas and the stories are straight forward and you'd think after the complaints about GoT and HotD, HBO would realize sticking to the original story is the best way to go?

We'll see.

Bookwaifu says we should be nicer to GRRM.
>https://youtu.be/UIO9I36lcv4?si=BBBFENsOEhL0hHyr

>Dunk's Trial by Combat
>Epic music as 7 vs 7 faces off
>Morningstar hits Baelor in the balls with a loud metal CLANG sound
>Spectating peasants go "Oof!"
>Fighting abruptly stops, rapid camera cuts to different characters wincing
>Dunk: "Ohh, that's gotta hurt"
>Egg: "I guess he'll be feeling his Baelor Breaknuts in the morning!"
>Baelor in a high pitched squeaky voice: "I'm fine, I'm-" as he gets up clutching his crotch, slips and falls and bashes his head on the ground

>>24979056
editing is always the bane of lazy hack frauds

So, any news on winds of winter? I'm reading clash of kings right now, I hope it's not for no reason.

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>>24979711

>>24980006
2025 GRRM is too lazy to blog let alone write a book

>>24980006
2026 could be the year. It probably won't though.

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For me it's summer islander women.

>>24980006
GRRM is Spoonymaxxing. There will never be a Winds of Winter.

>>24976375
I'm so curious about what kind of person Daemon Blackfyre was. Ambitious, greedy asshole? Hurt, vengeful romantic? Manipulated Himbo? A combination?

>>24980163

Someone ought to write a Blackfyre novel that tells their story from their perspective.

>>24980163
I imagine a Criston Cole type ambition and angst mixed with the Rogue Prince romance/lust and greed

>>24980287
Its called Fire & Blood Vol. 2 Blood & Fire and will be released following Winds, Dream & several dunk & egg joints.

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>>24980289
Ooo I like that concept

>>24980391
I thought it was Winds > Dunk and Egg > Blood and Fire > Dream of Spring.
Blackfyre gang...

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>>24980391
>will be released

>>24980427
I thought the Summerhall stuff in F&B2 was important for the prophecy and was coming after Dreams was don?

>>24980075
Looks like a quintessential northwoman to me

>>24979055
Locking up the dragons was a mistake, but Tywin Lannister with Dragons would have been a kinslaying / kingslaying speedrun. Someone in her inner circle would kill her 100%.

As long as WINDS isn't written, the line of Blackfyre will live on in Griff Griffson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alu-7pFSS68

tl;dw:

Winds WILL come out. Whether George is alive when that happens or not is another question. He wants the series to be 7 books long. He doesn't want to elongate the series any further. He's also become a perfectionist and keeps wanting to rewrite things. He's worried about messing up Winds and trapping himself for Dream (hence his rant about how he's jealous that Gene Wolfe finished The Citadel of the Autarch before he even published The Shadow of the Torturer).

>>24980726
>5 books for act 1
>2 books for both act 2 and 3

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GRRM has been writing and re-writing those Arya sex scenes since 1993. They better be fucking masterpieces by now

>>24980843
Is that supposed to be Arya? Doesn't look anything like the way she's described

>>24978778
Because GRRM is big enough to tell his editor to fuck off when she points out that he's suddenly repeating the same shit out of nowhere. We actually know that since it was visible in the original manuscripts.

>>24980894
It's Lyanna (who basically looks like Arya).

> love is the death of duty = arranged marriages and honor killings are ok

> breaker of chains is actually a mad woman

grrm is very pro slavery for a liberal

>>24980726
Something must have really crawled under his skin back in 1991 so he decided to write out of his comfort zone this goal of a story that ends with Good vanquishing Evil. His gardening style of writing meant that getting to that ending distracted him from the original impulse, so he fell into this complacency of how he normally resolves stories. He won't finish Dream because he refuses to write an ending where humans prevail over Evil.

Surely someone here is familiar with George's other books. Are there any stories of his where a character makes the heroic decision and successfully thwarts the larger-than-life evil in the story? I've only read the graphic novel of In the House of the Worm, and played Elden Ring. Neither of those offer any hint that GRRM would allow a heroic triumph as an ending. Because of that, I seriously doubt he's ever written a work that actually follows through a heroic victory. I think he's too much of a misanthrophic atheist. By that I mean, he got old like all hippies do, and entered the phase in life where he holds a fundamental loathing of humans to see them as nothing more than expendable resources. Hippies opposed war because they didn't benefit from it, not because they actually value human life. Like any outspoken atheist, he is only the antithesis of christians without any ontology for what christianity is supposed to be. So the megachuch charlatans and satanic panic karens? that is already a rotten foundation which the atheist believes he rejects, but infact he just conforms to another permutation of religion, that of Me-Me-Me.

Azor Ahai is a demon, the Faith of the Seven is ineffectual superstition, the Old Gods are dead, but magic and The Others still threaten the world of humans. What did GRRM insist is part of the ending? King Bran, the cripple who mantles all the MAGIC that Bloodraven used. Magic is supposed to be dangerous and evil, but that theme goes out the window for the author's favorite POV character. Is it really Bran who rules, or is Bran just possessed by a fungal horror hive mind? King Bran is an all-seeing surveillance state immortal. This can only be a Good Ending for an author who detests humans, free will, and the notion that humans can improve over time. GRRM doesn't want the pushback to this ending, after audiences got a whiff of it by the TV show, because he realized the readers are catching on that he dropped the pretense of the 7 books as actually resolving with Good winning over Evil.

>>24981283
Fevre Dream ends with the vampires killing the big bad vampire and living in peace.

Also he's outright stated that his intented ending for ASOIAF that we're never getting is bittersweet.

>>24980458
Good point... I guess I'll drop the hopium for now

>>24980755
Do people really want 5 books for act 3, i.e. the Other invasion?…
Your intricate political intrigue thriller series suddenly turning into The Walking Dead - Cold Age edition, lasting 5 books where nothing happens but last stands and castles being taken? Count me out.

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>>24981283
>Surely someone here is familiar with George's other books. Are there any stories of his where a character makes the heroic decision and successfully thwarts the larger-than-life evil in the story?
Fevre Dream is literally that. A fat old steamboat captain kills a larger-than-life evil vampire.

>What did GRRM insist is part of the ending? King Bran, the cripple who mantles all the MAGIC that Bloodraven used. Magic is supposed to be dangerous and evil, but that theme goes out the window for the author's favorite POV character. Is it really Bran who rules, or is Bran just possessed by a fungal horror hive mind? King Bran is an all-seeing surveillance state immortal.
We have no idea how exactly GRRM imagined his ending for ASOIAF to play out (and we'll probably never know). However, he did say that the ending was going to be "bittersweet", with his favorite example of a "bittersweet" ending being that of LOTR. I definitely wouldn't call LOTR's ending mysanthropic or nihilistic.

>>24981283
>the Old Gods are dead
No, the Old Gods are a subversion of Middle Earth Elves. Mankind won the physical war with the Children of the Forest, but ended up in a spiritual communion with them via the Weirwoods. If anything, the Old Gods are the closest thing Westeros has to a true religion because it's just dying and joining a tree hivemind. When King Bran ascends, it's a Total Victory of the Old Gods over Mankind.

>>24980755
He's clearly reordered things since the original trilogy pitch:
1 book for the prologue (AGoT)
2 books for act 1 (ACoK, ASoS)
2 books for act 2 (AFFC, ADWD)
2 books for act 3 (TWOW, ADOS)

War of the Five Kings ended in Storm. The "5 year gap fill-in" became Act 2. But I think for the overall pacing of the story the endpoints of AFFC/ADWD need to be the "pre-climax low" of the story when things are at their most dire.

>>24981827
George is the kind of guy who would willingly join the hivemind in pluribus and see it as a communist utopia instead of a horrible alien virus that kills humanity. That’s why in his mind king bran is a good ending and that’s why George is biased toward the old gods in his books

>>24981496
Dany's Invasion alone is going to be more than one book considering all the moving pieces happening in both mereen and westeros and the fact that the pace has grinded to halt.

>>24981201
Dany is just a neoliberal warhawk

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>Daeron II
>Unnamed child[2]
>Daemon Blackfyre

>>24981964
i would agree with you if it wasn't about slavery
well documented, well evidenced slavery
now, if Dany used slavery as a pretext to asset strip the slaver city and get herself rich...

>>24980894
Just add 10 years or so and that's Arya

>>24981201
>>24981964
George started writing before the Patriot Act and it shows

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>>24975576
Stannis the Mannis!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HynKqKFwsS8

>>24980075
N-word pass for me

>>24979711
>hey nerd what-
Ok old hags

>>24980075
Imagine tying her to that post and slowly flaying her.

>>24981136
>>24982103
Arya is described to be kind of normie-looking, like the scrumpy 6/10 girl who works at a library or some shit

>>24982247
Arya is specifically described as exactly like Lyanna except she makes herself look like a boy.

>>24972987
>first men
>proto-euro hunter gatherers (lots of neanderthal dna)
>andals
>classic european (latino/germo/slav)
idk about the rest because I do NOT read non 7k chapters

If I had a nickel for every time Stark pussy got a Targ killed, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

>>24982448
No it isn't. Targs were a feudal dynasty that lasted over 300 years and Starks were one of their eminent vassals. That's like saying "hahah isn't it weird so many English monarchs' reigns got fucked up over some bullshit with Scotland? What a wacky coincidence right?"

>Northmen/Ironborn/First men
Nordic/celtic
>Andals
Anglo Saxon/gothic
>Dornish (Stone, Sand and Salt)
Spanish/North African
>Dothraki
Mongol/Native American
>Qaathi
Pre-Islamic Anatolian/southern European/turkish aryans
>Ghiscari (Slaver's bay in general)
Middle eastern
>Free Cities
Gallo-romanic
>Yi-ti
Chinese
>Lengish
Japanese
>Lhazarene
Jewish
>Valyrian
Same race as the Qaathi, but functionally Mediterranean

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>>24980163
Romantic and chivalrous

>>24982461
>First Men (North, Vale, Iron Islands)
Slavshits
>Andals
Lombards
>Dornish
Eretnids
>Dothraki
Jurchens, Kazakhs
>Qarth
Bukhara and Samarkand
>Ghiscar
Sicilians
>Free Cities
Hansa
>Yi-Ti
Dai Viet
>Leng
Neo-Assyrians
>Lhazarene
20th century French industrialists
>Valyrian
Jewish

>>24982461
>>24982486
>First Men
Finns
>Andals
Franks
>Ironborn
Irish
>Dornish
Spanish-Lebanese
>Dothraki
Turko-Apache
>Qarth
Hakka
>Ghiscari
Berber
>Free City
Modern day New York mutts
>Yi-Ti
Han
>Leng
Indonesian
>Lhazarene
Palestinian
>Valyrian
Finns

I know it's le ebin shitposting time but genuinely, unironically, 100% serious: the Andals are Magyars

>>24982459
>Starks were one of their most irrelevant vassals.
FTFY

>>24982638
What's Hungarian about them? They don't even larp as Andals from Andalos.

>>24982646
The Starks did more for Robert in his reign alone than 300 years of Targ rule. All they did was Kneel like KWABs and then show up late for the Dance to execute a bunch of randoms and disappear.

>>24982080
I meant in the sense that she is an idealist trying to implement top down regime change with the intention of leaving as soon as it is convenient. She wants to yass kween mission accomplished before taking most of her standing military and fucking off to the other side of the world.

>>24978359
i don't
it was absolute shit since season 5

>>24979184
>For what it's worth, GRRM has said he likes it and that the tv series sticks to the original story
it's not worth much since he doesn't dare to criticize shit publicly.
hell, they might have added a new condition for his contract to say he likes their shit in public.

>>24978605
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

>>24979711
why was she triggered by rape?
or was it not rape she was talking about in her older videos?

>>24980163
he was a loyal brother who refused to rise up against his big bro repeatedly despite being pushed by people.
his big brother was stoked by people to attack his little bro so he had to defend himself.

>>24981283
>Like any outspoken atheist, he is only the antithesis of christians without any ontology for what christianity is supposed to be. So the megachuch charlatans and satanic panic karens? that is already a rotten foundation which the atheist believes he rejects, but infact he just conforms to another permutation of religion, that of Me-Me-Me.
please elaborate on this. it went over my head

>>24980843
>megalia sign

>>24983090
>hell, they might have added a new condition for his contract to say he likes their shit in public.

That's not how contracts work.

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Lmao what a hack

Can we all hold hands tonight by the fire?

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>>24983379

The Others are a magical bio-weapon created for us against the First Men that turned into a Frankenstein monster for the Children of the Forest, who had to then ally with humans to contain them.

>>24983157
He got assmad the Daenerys got DORNE'd, the things with legitimazation and the sword was just Bittersteel looking to get back at Bloodraven

>>24983379
Kek, GRRM redditism are so predictable that even his own reddit audience owned him
>>24983474
The Others are a big mystery box of nothing because GRRM didn't plan anything out. The Others are just child sacrificing ice people because Winds is never coming out.

>>24983157
The idea/possibility that Daemon was content with his lot but was set up against Daeron just so Bittersteel and Bloodraven could fight each other is tragically funny

More and more do I realize that George is like that Miyazaki guy.

They NEVER care for what happens to the adaptations of their work. They will ALWAYS just say “go for it lol, do whatev” and then they’re like “wuh happen” once it turns to SHIT.

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Is Sunspear supposed to be a grounded spaceship?

>>24983163
Not that anon but “The first gulp from the bottle of natural sciences will have you become an atheist but at the bottom god is waiting for you.” - Heisenberg.

George never kept drinking cause he’s a mid-wit. Now his story is caked with natural emergent themes and logical events he despises because he’s no better than a raging nihilist who only has himself in mind and can’t “fix it” due to ego. Not shilling religion.

>>24983163
Atheists like to remain comfortable with convenient categories for morals. If someone does wrong, it's because he's in the wrong group. This is because they arrive at atheism from a selfish path; "I don't like being told what not to do, even though what I want to do feels good. I am being denied my free will from a single authority in charge throughout my childhood, the Christian God. Therefore I reject the Christian God in order to gain my free will." The danger is two-fold; the atheist convinced himself he is the single source of morals, and he willfully blinds himself to other institutions as denying free will. Listen to any atheist go on and on about why Christianity is wrong, but ask them about Islam and they have nothing to say. GRRM will denounce The Crusades as the great evil done by Christianity, but he completely disbelieves that women were not allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia. He, like so many atheists, refuse to consider that individual actors spoil the larger social order. They want to assign blame and credit to systems, but cannot actually think in terms of systems. It's like >>24985019 says, GRRM is a mid-wit and mid-wits have an extreme tendency to claim atheism.

Yes it's possible for someone reared a muslim to reject Islam and arrive at an atheism position with the same shortsightedness as GRRM, but it is Western European and Anglophone cultures that have created an easy framework, Enlightenment, for anyone to float into the mid-wit Atheism. That is to say, it's culturally acceptable to refute and mock Christianity, when it is not yet culturally acceptable to refute and mock Islam. People will commit to the former but refuse to maintain the same standard with the latter. They are not undertaking a genuine philosophical journey through ethics, but instead want the social credit for being contrarian toward the values they were taught. They did not learn a different set of values, but only applied the negative to the values they started with.

As >>24985019 finishes, GRRM wallows in nihilism because he is unable to sacrifice his own ego, and the sacrifice of ego is the single most important requirement for the hero to prevail against the greater evil. ASOIAF has many setups for the heroes to triumph, but he refuses to admit this inevitable outcome. So he will bend over backwards in his "perfectionism" to write the story ending that denies the direct heroic triumph.

>>24985075
Holy fucking truth nuke

>>24981827
I willfully chose to write that because I knew it would be its own can of worms discussion, and I wanted to make another, more pressing point. Despite the amount of believers, I doubt even the Starks in 298 are aware of the secret. They follow the custom but I doubt they are aware of an active transaction. Would Ned Stark even be capable of telling you who are the Old Gods besides the common link with the Children of the Forest and the fact they are ancient beyond years? Could he tell you there is an afterlife?

The Old Gods are purposely obfuscated to the point that I wouldn't call it a proper religion anymore than animism could be considered a religion in its own right. Supposedly the northerners would know what the Night's King actually did, but none of their POV chapters spill the beans, there's no urgency for it in day-to-day life. It's like Ned chapters never actually telling us what happened at the Tower of Joy, he's only describing a DREAM based on his memories. GRRM avoids the innermost thoughts of the POV, and he's managed to do it 100% with anything supernatural.

>When King Bran ascends, it's a Total Victory of the Old Gods over Mankind.
So you agree GRRM craves a Bad Ending, but will do the mental gymnastics to twist it to "bittersweet" even though it exposes his fundamental misanthropy like >>24981939 points out.

Here's a though experiment: In the 5 books we currently have, there are smaller stories that do resolve. Do any of them star a hero who actually succeeds in his quest against an objective evil? If GRRM cannot provide good guys winning the short-term, it leaves doubt he can deliver a long-term outcome the good guys win.

There is a narrative bait-and-switch, GRRM misleads readers about the course of the story, that the pitfalls and tragedies are building towards a resolution to reward the readers. I don't think he intended to provide that resolution. I believe GRRM really wants discard our faith in humanity to embrace his ideal of a gestalt consciousness as the only righteous outcome.

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>>24983166
lmao

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>>24985075
>Listen to any atheist go on and on about why Christianity is wrong, but ask them about Islam and they have nothing to say.
Before your fag boy got martyred, "je suis Charlie" meant something. How long ago was that? Surely you damn dirty ipad kids were alive back then?

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>>24983515

The Children of the Forest first tried to stop the migrations of First Men by shattering the Arm of Dorne and when they didn't work, they tried again at the Neck but their magic was failing, so they went all in on a self-sustaining magical bio-weapon but the Others became uncontrollable and killed everything, so the CotF allied with the First Men and pushed them Beyond the Wall.

>>24985538
That's just the boring, predictable tv origin. I have to imagine GRRM wants something more interesting than that, which is one of 8 thousand reasons he can't finish the story.

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>>24985660
>That's just the boring, predictable tv origin.

It's not from the show, it's from the various books.

>>24985709
he means the magical bioweapon shit.

>all those times Lyanna asked Rhaegar to fuck her while she was skinchanged into a horse
Why the fuck did GRRM have to include this?…

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>>24980843

>>24983379
>"One dimensional cultures and races are heckin' dumb!"
>Dothraki rape
>Ironborn raid
>Northern honor
>Dornish promiscuity
What did GregoRRy Martin mean by this

Finally, 2026... the year The Winds of Winter is released...

>>24985962
That's honestly one of the less bizarre passages he managed to convince his editor and publisher to keep in. Do you remember the Varamyr backstory chapters that existed purely to describe how when he was young his older sister Val would force him to skinchange into direwolves or shadow cats or horses and pleasure her? Fans were mad that so many pages were "wasted" on describing all the ways Varamyr learned to use different animal cocks on his hot sister.

Then Winds came out and it was revealed that the eight bestiality chapters were setting up a Val x Jon romance by hinting that Jon could please Val the same way by skinchanging into Ghost. Just an incredibly ballsy move by GRRM. He took all the criticism and fan hate over him devoting eight chapters to describing direwolf!Varamyr knotting Val knowing that there would be a payoff later.

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>>24986331
>"One dimensional cultures and races are heckin' dumb!"
Uhmmm ACKshually...
>Dothraki rape
They also ride, chud.
>Ironborn raid
They also don't sow, chud.
>Northern honor
They also remember, chud.
>Dornish promiscuity
They also love bastards, chud.

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>>24985826

Dumb & Dumber aren't smart enough to have thought of that themselves, GRRM told them.

>>24986614
That’s the dumbest most straight forward explanation for the others that any retard could have theorized and has been done in a million other things before. If that’s the best George has got then he really is a hack

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>>24986761
>That’s the dumbest most straight forward explanation for the others

Why does it need to be "complicated"?

>>24986788
Because George has said that the others aren’t a straight up evil race who only want to kill, but this theory would mean he’s a liar

>>24986801
Also George is the “subvert your expectations” writer, it would be disappointing and anticlimactic if his most likely theories comes true

>>24986801
I honestly think he probably did mean to be an evil race early on but the great gardener let his idea get away from and now he doesn't want to do that but doesn't have anything prior set up to explain them in any other way besides being some totally evil race of monsters destined to be defeated by the chosen one hero of prophecy. One of a dozen ways he fucked himself

>>24980843
Reminder that the first time Arya is mentioned in AGOT it is about how she is already in love.

>>24984914
I know this is bait but it's funny watching Preston Jacobs go from this schizo "ASOIAF is a sci fi post apocalypse and it all links together" to realising GRRM is a hack who makes it up as he goes along.

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>>24986373
no twow but you'll get TWO hbo slop shows in 1 year so be thankful

>>24987144
>Elmo, Kermit, and Nettles still cut

I mean I'm gonna watch both of them because there's nothing better on tv

I don't understand why the devastation in the Riverlands is presented as such a bad thing. If they simply imported hundreds of thousands of Lhazarenes, Ghiscari and Summer Islanders they could repopulate the region back to productivity in a few years.

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>>24987186
>Season 3 episode 1
>Opens on the continuation of the Rhaena staring down Sheepstealer scene
>she slowly approaches the dragon, nervously shaking as she raises her hand towards it
>music swells, the targaryen theme blasting loudly
>Rhaena begins to stutter "D-dohaera-"
>"HEY!"
>music stops
>"What are you doing with my dragon?"
>Rhaena and Sheepstealer both stare towards the same direction
>a smirking, dark-skinned, racially ambiguous, androgynous, woman is leaning against a rock with an eyebrow raised, observing the Targaryen
>Rhaena, nostrils flaring, blinks her eyes in astonishment with a comical blinking sound effect
>"You're standing in sheep-shit, bro"
>Rhaena quickly looks down and loses her footing, slipping into the droppings
>Sheepstealer looks into the camera, "Well that just happened"
>Indie punk song with female vocalist starts playing as we get a recap montage of Nettles offscreen story during the events of season 1 and 2
>afterwards we fade in to a night scene with Nettles and Rhaena around a fire
>"So I figured, if this bozo digs them sheep, I mean why not just give him some sheep you know'm sayin?"

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>>24987224
>
>Indie punk song with female vocalist starts playing as we get a recap montage of Nettles offscreen story during the events of season 1 and 2
K I N O
I
N
O

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Renlysissies...

>>24987224
this >>24987231

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>>24986331
>Northern honor
>boltons flaying for fun
>manderlys baking frey pies
>skagosi cannibalism
>umbers still doing the first night
>karstarks sabotaging robb and conspiring against stannis
>dustins sending the least amount of soldiers they can get away with because they hate ned

da norf is arguably the least honorable kingdom

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>>24986801
>George has said

>>24985499
>"je suis Charlie" meant something
What did it mean? Euro governments literally made it illegal to mock Islam.

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>>24987435
>da norf is arguably the least honorable kingdom
kek stay mad suvvern poof
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYm6aMMcFu8

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>>24987263
I'm glad he knew how to bathe

It's over.

Uhhhhh Radmure gang, do we still exist?

>>24987224
>pic
Is that a Brindled woman of Sothoryos?

>>24988027
>Is that a Brindled woman of Sothoryos?
That's a gorgeous valyrian lady of house Targaryen, chud.

Quaithe is Ashara Dayne, it fits

>>24988242
actually its Danaerys the Dreamer

I liked that theory that the point of the House with the Red Door alludes to Varys/fAegon accusing Dany of being a Blackfyre once the option of marriage is off the table.

But I really don't think it works because "I have dragons" is the biggest fuck you to all arguments

>>24989309
Black or red, a dragon is still a dragon.

>>24989389
and in the end it matters not because Robert caved in Rhaegar's skull and claimed the throne because his grandma was a targ.

>>24976299
Damn me for trusting him
>>24976821
Like someone telling me hot piss is patrician taste. No.

>>24986331
>Dothraki rape
They're also spiritual. Something something afterlife riding in the sky.
>Ironborn raid
They've had recent trends that were going against that. They were getting closer with the rest of westeros through trade. Until Euron manipulated them.
>Northern honor
That's Stark. The other northern houses are different. Like the Umbers being giant retards who like doing giant retard things (being strong)
>Dornish promiscuity
There's like a million Dornish houses. All separated by race. Like stony vs sandy. Some leaning more to Andal and others not. I know the lazy ass Gurm is just an obese Satan, but at this point just go to Lotr threads. Jerk off Tolkien's phantom cock like everyone else.

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>>24989777
It's Ned and Rob Stark specifically that are abnormal for Stark lords. Rickard and Brandon were more lordly, but happened to exist when Aerys II was king. Ned was poisoned by Vale chivalry, which is remarkable considering Robert remained a meathead despite the same environment. This could mean Ned is particularly touched and Robert was the normal ward. Actually, Robert's behavior with paying forward sexual misconduct could mean he was bad touched as a child (victims either become aggressors or shut down into a nervous wreck). Anyway, it's easy to find the skeletons of the other North lords. The Stark skeletons GRRM won't divulge are the crypts sealed off deeper from Lyanna's tomb. Theories center around the depths of Winterfell being plugged into the Other network, and the post-conquest Starks just happened to have lost their login, so we're seeing abnormally GOOD Starks instead of merciless predator Starks that kept the North in line through violence.

Dorne is hilariously overrated, they lack any power projection, but GRRM and medieval limits to knowledge keep appraising Dorne as a worthwhile kingdom on the diplomatic table. Impossible to conquer, but nothing of value to take. Dorne can't even keep the Stepstones safe, because of the inhospitable coastline. The bad coastline is another problem, because it indicates a geological formation at odds with a Flood Event. We know the maesters lie when they say the sea slowly rose over the Arm of Dorne, because the Stepstones are too rocky. Rockiness indicates seismic activity, and GRRM has both avoided any hints to volcanism, plate tectonics, and bolides as well as his fiat statements that any theories involving science are wrong, because only magic allowed. Fatso doesn't know what he's talking about, so we have an unresolved blunder with the setting.

Ironiggers and Dothraki are irredeemable: Too many of them with no stable system, impossible to last as long as they have with the same retard culture. Oh they've been pirates for thousands of years? Their islands do NOT have trees, but they can rebuild their fleet in a generation? Ironiggers are literally the AI cheating faction in a Paradox game. GRRM thought he made a Viking kingdom in Westeros, but he knows fuck-all about Vikings. Dothraki is obviously the boomer idea of the Mongols (bet you GRRM can't tell the difference between Huns and Mongols). GRRM has no idea that Subutai orchestrated the insane logistics and strategies to allow Ghenghis Khan his campaigns, so Dothraki are just horse marauders with no core settlement. No, Vaes Dothrak is just a goody witch hut and market, not a wide swathe of pastoralism to actually feed a continental army. You need a country as richly developed as The Reach to afford 50,000 mounted warriors. The Dothraki we see? Really bad at trade considering they flattened more of Essos as a continent than all of Westeros. Tyson Foods would LOVE to have access to the amount of land the Dothraki piss on.

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>>24990062
>We know the maesters lie
BASED

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Total. Green. Death.

That is all.

>>24990075
The seed was weak...

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The show is canon

>>24990075
Visenya was 41 when she birthed Maegor. Aegon was 38 when they conceived Maegor. For a medieval era, this awfully late for a first and only birth. This puts to question Maegor's seed.

If the above wasn't bad enough, Maegor's first marriage was purely political. Think, you're the premium bride from House Hightower, up until a generation ago the second most important house in the entire continent simply by virtue of being tied to both the Maesters and the Faith of the Seven. You then get forced to marry the SECOND son of a foreign heathen. Do you honestly believe this regime is going to last? You still think there's a way out, and you have your whole family backing you on getting this occupation over with. Why in the Seven Hells would you give your conquerer a new heir to secure succession and maintain dominance?

Ceryse and the Hightowers had every motive and methods to deny Maegor a child. Now his other wives? Tyanna admitted to poisoning the other three wives. So at no point was Maegor actually allowed to naturally sire any issue. Even a low sperm count or narrow urethra could accidentally cause a pregnancy with very active polygamy. Half the reason the Faith got so far with rebellion is Maegor spent so much time baking creampies instead of slaughtering the rabble.

Maegor took his latter four wives after his coma (in light of the fact he somehow survived and woke from a 28-day coma to immediately ride to battle, when even 7 days of a coma requires weeks of rehabilitation to walk again), meaning his brain was Benoit'd after the conspiracy to displace him, giving him actual just cause to carry out the so-called tyranny.

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>So anyway ehm... Aegon the conqueror, turns out, lil monkey fella

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>>24990173
Many are saying this. Many such cases.

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>>24990121
Remember how they used to film alternate scenes to throw off leakers?

>>24990173
Maegor was too low T to reproduce, which is why he had to compensate with Balerion

>>24990084
>brown haired Alicent
She looked like Saera reeee

>>24990173
>Visenya was 41 when she birthed Maegor. Aegon was 38 when they conceived Maegor. For a medieval era, this awfully late for a first and only birth. This puts to question Maegor's seed.

This puts in question Aegon's seed or Visenya's eggs.

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>>24990062
>Their islands do NOT have trees

The combined Iron Islands are roughly the size of Ireland, there would be plenty of trees.

>>24990426
GRRM is the kind of hack that would take the name Ireland, add 2 syllables, and slap that name Iron Island to a set of islands next to a fake England blown up to the size of Brazil (some say Australia or even S. America) which by consequence makes the Iron Islands the size of Ireland. Just because the landmass is the same size as Ireland, does not mean it's the same climate as Ireland. You did not cite the books that the Iron Islands have trees. You assumed because it's big enough land area it must have trees. Your assumption is retarded because if trees can grow, then the soil is arable enough to farm. You know the words of House Greyjoy? "We do not sow." So you have an island as big as Ireland with a culture whose entire basis for centuries is the complete disavowal of farming. Why would you think ironiggers would farm trees when they do not farm crops? George could be retarded and think forests can grow when farms cannot. Numerous times, GRRM writes the Iron Islands as too barren for farming. You know what Ireland has? FARMS. Ireland is pretty famous for farms, on account of that one time all the farms failed at the same time, the Great Potato Famine. Are you Irish? I apologize for any insult to your island, but I seriously doubt the fatman has any clue what Ireland looks look when he decided to write about fantasy Viking raiders.

>>24990403
I can believe Visenya used magic to get Maegor, thereby cursing Maegor to fire blanks. However, Rhaenys had a head start of 5 years when 4 years younger than Visenya, but still produced Aenys at age 32. Rhaenys had 3 years to try for another babe, so this begs the question about Aegon himself. He sires his firstborn at the age most Andal lords already see their sons squired. Did he genuinely try for children during his teens and 20s? Or did he wait until after conquest? We have no clues, so I have to wonder if GRRM originally planned Aegon to conquer at 17, then rewrote his conquest for 27 but forgot to switch the birthdates of his heirs. Or did GRRM originally plan Aenys and Maegor to be born before conquest, but then changed his mind about having children present for the conquest? Starting a war of conquering an entire continent, something better dragonlords refused to attempt, without any security of succession is reckless to the point of nihilism. There is a reason Alexander the Great is mocked as a bloodthirsty butcher far less capable at ruling an empire than his father.

aenys is a singer's bastard
all current starks descend from bael the bard
all lannisters are actually lyddens
grrm himself is a product of cuckoldry and thus spitefully made the 3 most prominent houses of his series to mirror him
it is known

>>24990689
>did Aragorn have trees growing out of his pants?
Cool breh
>So you have an island as big as Ireland with a culture whose entire basis for centuries is the complete disavowal of farming
Ironborn do not disavow farming. They disavow personal engagement in farming. They have thralls for that.

>the Iron Islands as too barren for farming
There is no such thing as soil to barren for trees, as long as it is not hot/cold desert. Trees have tremendously lower soil quality requirements compared to agricultural crops.

>>24990173
>>24990689
>Even a low sperm count
>narrow urethra
>Aegon's seed
Aegon was homogay faggot, simple as. Most likely from getting molested by Orys. Maegor had a deformed penis and could not achieve orgasm.

>>24980075
Look around her. Is that what you want Westeros to look like?

God, GRRM is such a hack for naming the Western continent Westeros and Eastern Essos...

>>24991128
>Is that what you want Westeros to look like?
post wot5k riverlands already look like that

>>24980391
77 years old btw

>>24980075
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

>>24979184
So if this is successful will they just stop? There’s no natural end to the story

>>24991766
Stop??? What do you mean stop, how can you stop milking the goycattle? Do you ever eat a steak and say that you had enough for the rest of your life?

I'll read the books once George confirms they're all coming out with release dates.

the targaryens and their wank destroyed what could have been a promising series.

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>>24991996

>>24987831
>>24987263
crust status?

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>>24982352
>>24982461
>>24982486
>>24982518
Westerosi phenotypes concluded

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>mfw tower niggers can be spoonfed and still not get it

>>24991996
I like it. It’s part of George’s master plan. George is building up the Targaryen legendarium and popularity in the eyes of fans so that they invest in his subversion tactic. He’s using story writing cliches like prophetic dreams and heroes, magical bloodlines and “the exiled/secret prince/princess of a cool lost dynasty must reclaim their throne” tropes to get fans to invest in ideas of conventional fantasy story archetypes, to actually fall for Targaryen blood supremacy and divine right to rule and expect a glorious restoration at the end. Getting fans to root for dany to take back Westeros, or for Jon to come back with white hair to restore the Targaryen dynasty and redeem his father rhaegar is the outcome George planned for (only to subvert the fuck out of them by making neither of them the prophecized hero or rightful heir to the throne; dany goes mad and has to be put down and Jon denies the throne and goes into exile)

>>24992453
The ongoing prophecy isn't about the throne, it's about dealing with the ice zombie apocalypse.

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>>24979184
>>24991766
>So if this is successful will they just stop? There’s no natural end to the story

There are only the three novellas and we all know GRRM will never write anymore, so presumably we'll get three seasons and that's it. Though if the show is a hit, it's possible that HBO hires some no-name hack screen writers to cook up more seasons (which will be terrible) but this depends on their contract with GRRM.

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After reading through
And then listening through
Little fingers main plan seems more fucking retarded on each re-read

>Grim sets up all these elaborate plots and scheme that little finger can do
>End plan currently is uhhhh.... Marry some supposed Heir to the vail and then all this minor swords in the vail will help you take back winterfell just because
I still don't understand why would they since they don't really have any loyalty to the north. And the vail being the actual weakest current force in the entire kingdom on par with dorne. And can't even beat back a bunch of homeless vagrants that live under their doorsteps

These are the guys are who are supposed to beat out both freys and boltons claim to the north as well as going against the iron throne?
Either it's another little finger pivot to something else or Grim can't actually think of good enough plot point for Sansa to get back winterfell so magical little finger somehow is able to get everyone on board with everything because he's just that good at talking

So fucking dumb

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>>24993217
>End plan currently is uhhhh....

Alayne will be married to Harrold Hardyng, Sweetrobin will then be killed thru an overdose of sweetsleep (probably by Sansa) for which Maester Colemon will be blamed, Harrold and Alayne will become Lord and Lady of the Vale, it will then be revealed that Alayne is Sansa Stark, making the couple Lord and Lady of the Vale and the North, Harrold will then be killed in an "accident" (with Sansa probably complicit) allowing Littlefinger to marry Sansa, making them Lord and Lady of the Vale, the North and the Riverlands.

I just made a sculpture of George out of mashed potatoes.

>>24993299
Why would Harry marry a bastard

>>24993373
He's going to be honeytrapped by Sansa in a reverse Robb situation. Also Littlefinger's bastard isn't the worst match in the world for someone in the Vale, especially considering he doesn't have any trueborn heirs and is technically Lord of Harrenhal.

>>24993309
Pic or didn't happen.

Did anyone else get icked out when 12 year old catelyn another EIGHT year old Petyr??? That's like, totally wrong n' stuff

>>24990062
>>24990426
The Iron Islands do indeed have trees
>The way was rough, up hills and woods and stony defiles, along a narrow track that oft seemed to disappear beneath the horse’s hooves. Great Wyk was the largest of the Iron Islands, so vast that some of its lords had holdings that did not front upon the holy sea

Lyanna Stark was 14 out of 10.

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starting affc today, what im in for?
got was 5/5 , cok was 3/5, asos was 5/5 for me.

>>24990804
Maegor just had a prudish old septa wife, not everything needs a magic explanation

>>24993217
imagine being as naive as Sansa and taking his lies at face value
one more reason Arya is the superior Stark cunny

>>24992291
Ironborn are pre-First Men, it is known.
Descendants of squisher slaves.

>>24993373
A big fat dowry.
The bethrothal is already set. Lady Waynwood chose the coin over prestige.

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>>24993443

>>24993309
Come on, don't leave us hanging.

>>24993667
Why was Clash a 3/5 for you Anon?

>>24993886
kinda boring, daenerys chapters sucks and black water battle was slog...

>>24993667
Aside from Arya chapters and iron born shit it's genuinely the worst one

>>24990121
i hope so, cant wait for that bitch to die

>>24990689
Its probably some hackish shit from George. When he shat out the 17 targaryen kings for the Appendix it was clear that he didn't really didn't think any of it through outside of their monikers. Somebody as obsessed with legacy and conquest as Aegon would have had multiple heirs even if he was homo/infertile and his kids were born of magic/cuckoldry.

>>24993902
>daenerys chapters sucks
Very fair.

how real knights duels look like
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmaM-_pAkVE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IUFyz8AloE

spoilers: it's brawling. grappling. wrestling. swords do nothing.

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>ywn have val grind her cunt on your face while calling you a stupid kneeler

>>24993784
>not everything needs a magic explanation
There is nothing magical about a deformed penis. It's a medical condition that exists in real life.

Euron never penetrated him. THEON laughs; as far back as he can remember, he’s always fkn hated his penis.

>>24993373
because he's poor. the Waynwoods too.

>>24993667
read slower
they're all kino

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https://open.substack.com/pub/joecoleman9/p/the-death-of-george-r-r-martin-and
Saw this while doomscrolling and actually felt my stomach drop, what the fuck
>Inb4 reee phoneposter
I know

>>24994634
>have the money for full plate
>fight with swords
lol
lmao
spoiler: knights had a weapon for every task and a sword is a side arm. they wouldn't choose a sword to fight other knights. they would use a poleaxe, a mace or a warhammer.

>>24994650
why even live?

>>24995417
who's this Joseph Coleman dude?
you should be happy if he died. it would mean a closer release of TWOW

>>24994650
That makes me think, kneeling has to be one of the biggest kinks for wildlings right? Kneeling blowjobs, cowgirl position, etc

>>24975576
I mean this completely unironically:

How has no one hacked the publishers/editors to find out what George has on Winds? Is it only sent between them via hardcopy? Is there literally no digital record for any of this? I know George uses an offline PC, but what about the others?

>>24995463
The guy's a tech Neanderthal who has to use oldfag PC to run the ancient text processor he prefers. There was an interview or something a few years ago and he got memed on for it

>>24995475
I know that. But when he sends this stuff to his editor/publisher, I have to believe they put it into digital files.

>>24995477
I guess people don't think it's worth the effort, at least not when he's still alive and putting out copium blogposts

>>24995417
>The habits you build trickle down into every other aspect of your life. It is not a stretch to assume Martin’s literary laziness is downstream from sloth in other parts of his life, bad habits that have snowballed in his old age and rendered him incapable of finishing his legacy project.

KEKAROO

>>24993667
Probably the best writing GRRM has done but doesn't move the plot at all.

>>24995417
Reminds me of /tv/ posts that go
>Martin Scorsese, famous Hollywood director, 79
>>24995490
I really don't get these Psych 101-tier analysis posts. GRRM was writing just fine for most of his career. If it was a a problem with his personal habits it would have shown long ago.

Invoking Occam's Razor is a pretty pseud move but sometimes the simplest explanations really are the best. He stopped writing because he got rich and now has better things to do with his time. If I became a millionaire I would probably get really passionate about traveling and fine dining and Vegas. Imagine being able to travel to the Bahamas at any moment or call over 20 hookers to do cocaine with you on whim.

GRRM's 77 years old and a fat fuck, he's probably doing some Gaben-tier professional richfag fitness plan or some shit like that.

>>24995463
There's nothing to hack. The published preview chapters are all he has written for the book.

>>24995419
correct
where are the poleaxes, maces and warhammers in ASOIAF?
we always see people training and using swords

>>24995697
>maces
ser Crispen Cole
>warhammers
Robert
>poleaxes
rando holding it for the Karstark execution

>>24995521
>I really don't get these Psych 101-tier analysis posts. GRRM was writing just fine for most of his career. If it was a a problem with his personal habits it would have shown long ago.
not to support tgat fag but how many series has gurm written in his life?
wasn't he a short stories writer?
how well does the skill carry over?

>>24995779
That's not the argument he's making though, he's saying
>GRRM procrastinating on the next ASOIAF book is a sign that he's a procrastinator in general. If he writes like he's lazy, he's probably lazy!
except he was writing and publishing regularly until the GOT show came out. The big factor that changed was that GRRM had become wealthy and popular and after that you see him just start fucking around
>Oh yeah I'm funding direwolf cloning!
>Oh yeah the director of XYZ media reached out for me to contribute to his script!
>Oh yeah I came up with some background lore for Elden Ring!
>Oh yeah I'm collecting some random short stories!
>I still write some simple novellas and worldbuilding stuff btw!
He doesn't need to keep his nose to the grindstone anymore so he can do whatever he wants. He's clearly ACTIVE, there's just no financial incentive for him to devote idk 500+ hours to go through the difficult process of figuring out where the series is going next
It sounds rude but he likely also knows/worries he'll die soon so there's even less motivation to "suffer" writing Winds vs doing whatever he wants to with all his fame and fortune

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ngl I understand. I was a fat fuck in HS and one time during PE class while running I felt my heart beat in a weird way and it was so unnatural that I couldn't stop thinking about it. Scared me so much that I started working out (not /fit/ bodybuilding but cardio) just out of fear that I might die at 16 years old because I was a greaseball. And that was 10 years ago. I cant imagine being 70+ and still fat and not being constantly reminded of your own mortality whenever you have a hard time getting out of bed or feel your blood pressure go too high etc. etc. I just hope his editor will release his notes after he passes man I've accepted that the series is over, I just want to have some closure about what fandom theories were right and wrong

Maybe George will discover Ozempic and that will save us

>>24995819
>That's not the argument he's making though
i am supporting that fag's position of gurm being a hack by providing a different argument.
hell, it can supplement your own argument too.
gurm not being able to finish the books because his skill doesn't carry over pushes him to pursue other shit.
i have no idea if short stories writing skill carries over to writing a novel series.
idk who that fag is nor do i give a shit about his arguemnt and i completely agree with your argument about getting rich suddenly at the end of one's life causing one to just do what he likes.

>>24995832
>GRRM does ozempic
>Becomes (moderately) skinny and fit (for his age)
>Can even see his dick again without needing a mirror
Monkey's paw curls
>He spends the rest of his life banging hookers
>Asoiaf still not touched by the time he dies of a cocaine induced heart attack at 80 in a Thai brothel

Reminder that extreme amounts of weight loss over a short period can cause mental impairment.

What's crZiest theory u believe fact? I tink dany an tyron baby

>>24995773
>maces
Loras Tyrell as well.

>>24995863
tell me more

>>24995952
>dany an tyron baby
what's that? Tyrion is Aerys' son? i do believe this one but idk if it's crazy.
can't think of anything crazy.

>>24995773
and yet, the kingsguard uses only swords
net at the tower of joy: only swords
training: only swords
melee tourneys: only swords
battles: only swords
just because a couple of characters might use something elsemeans nothing

>>24996111
checked.
>tower of joy: only swords
we don't know.
>melee tourneys: only swords
ser Crispen Cole mace/morningstar
>battles: only swords
spearmen are clearly mentioned. not in the mood to dig up battles description. they use axes too though.
>training: only swords
because it's the gentlemanly weapon.

>Swap Westerlands and Stormlands' positions on the map
How does this change things?

>>24995479
>putting out copium blogposts
He isn't even doing that. He is close to breaking the record for the longest period of time without him publishing a blog post. Posts by his "minions" obviously don't count.

>>24993142
Arya deals with that

>>24996250
Assuming this means that the west is now stormy. That would probably make it a lot harder for the ironborn to raid.
And with the easterlands? esterlands? esslands? having that wealth so close to the capital maybe they'd have more influence?

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Would.

>>24996476
No wonder sunfyre had a heart attack after eating her

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>>24996493
Imagine the smell of all that roasted well marbled fat wafting through the throne room. That crispy golden outer layer encasing the tender goodness within just oozing with tasty salty meat juice.

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>Biggest jobbers in the history of fiction
The whole series is a Targaryen humiliation ritual. The ultimate subversion of expectations. You think they are the protagonists of Asoiaf, that it all centers around them, but it’s all a big fake out designed to bait retards. The prophecy was wrong, there is no azor ahai, Aegon conquered Westeros for pride and not anything else, and his bloodline, his city and his dragons were destroyed. Jon and dany are just people, and their fates are inglorious

>>24996547
What flavor is medium rare Targ ovary? Targ uterus?

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>>24996897
the entire series is meaningless and a waste of time, not just the targs

>>24996277
Could GRRM be already dead and it's just being kept private for whatever reason?

>>24996918
Better yet, whose Targ had the best pussy taste? My bet is Viserra while Visenya's might have tasted metallic

>>24996982
Do you mean when she's being eaten out, or do you mean after her labia have been cut out and grilled over an open flame? Any of the Targ warrior women would have had too little marbling

>>24996413
>That would probably make it a lot harder for the ironborn to raid.
Which probably means that raid targets would shift more to the other targets on the west coast?
The Reach, whatever raidable things there are in the North, and that little bit of the Riverlands, but does this really matter in the long run?
>having that wealth so close to the capital maybe they'd have more influence?
I'd argue it makes them even more exposed now that they have Essosi pirates probably fucking them up harder than the Ironborn, plus Dornish invasions. They can't just hide in their little corner up there in the west.

What do you anons think of my theory on what will happen to Tyrion -
> arrives at kings landing with either dany or young griff
> hes thirsty for the city to be destroyed so hes happy when it gets levelled by dany/griff depedning on who he joins with
> kings landing gets detroyed and he gets killed also, bookending his story as someone who got too obsessed with bitterness and revenge and paid the consequences

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>>24997175
Kino. Bonus points if he’s the one that rings the bells in kings landing to trigger danys/griffs madness for that quasimodo visual reference

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Gurm 2026 predictions

Who ya got, /grrm/?

>>24997323
I believe it will become a thing for people to go to cons just to troll him on panels to farm internet clout leading to him announcing at the end of the year that he will never attend panels again.

any German anons going to the fat man's next event?

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>>24996897
Is there a single player in the game of thrones that isn't an eternal jobber?
All of the houses are so insignificant for most of their history and everyone got cucked into submission because they're genuinely too lazy to rule themselves

The only real hero is Robert and he's just some unga bunga barbarian rapist

The simple fact is that most of westaros is filled with NPCs who are genuinely happy to be slave goyim to targs
And that the targs rule was always easy to topple

Essos is just way more interesting in all regards.

>>24997323
I believe you mean descendants not ancestors

>>24995697
>>24996130
GRRM just doesn't know enough about medieval combat and weaponry to be aware that swords are just a sidearm to the real powerhouses, like the humble billhook.
That said, Zweihander-toting landsknechts were a very real thing. Uniform polearm formations aren't all that practical. As an addendum to the addendum, not that I believe GRRM is aware of this.

>>24997175
meh

>>24997011
Stonecold Vaegonchad never eaten a woman's vagina sexually, i kneel

>>24997323
i mean shit at this point i'd take fire & blood over nothing

>>25000014
>i mean
Go back.

>>25000225
I mean, I could always wear the pants

>Go back.
I did, now I'm going forward

>>24995417
If only.

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>>24975576
>3 months without a blogpost
Is it over? Is GRRM dead?

Dead, dead.
It rhymes with fed.

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>>25000398
Not dead. Just mindbroken by the the paki troon

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>>25000804
dead fed? oh yeah baby

>>24985075
Hitchens constantly shit on Islam and Zionism you broccoli headed troglodyte

>>24986801
The Maesters altered the weather trying to wipe out the Others with a 10 year summer (and all magic)
The others are retaliating. The Maesters are the Freemasons trying to control society. Gurm hasn't finished the story because he was told to shut it down

>>25002101
Not really.

>>24981283
>He won't finish Dream because he refuses to write an ending where humans prevail over Evil.
And you would know this how? Did the fat man tell you?
Because we have him on record saying the series is meant to end on a bittersweet note, which implies the ending will a be substantially happy one
>Because of that, I seriously doubt he's ever written a work that actually follows through a heroic victory
Dunk & Egg
>I think he's too much of a misanthrophic atheist.
The problem with your thinking is that it's banal, bogus and boring
>Azor Ahai is a demon
We don't know that conclusively
>the Faith of the Seven is ineffectual superstition
Would've be true, were it not for the fact it by in large sucessfully guided the Andals into establishing a functioning civilization in Westeros
>the Old Gods are dead
Have you even read the books?
>Magic is supposed to be dangerous and evil
Magic is unpredictable and requires sacrifice which therefore makes it dangerous and profound, but not necessarily evil or good

>>24985075
>GRRM will denounce The Crusades as the great evil done by Christianity, but he completely disbelieves that women were not allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia.
Citation?
Or did you just made that up?
>He, like so many atheists, refuse to consider that individual actors spoil the larger social order.
His ASoIaF books repeatedly contradict this
>GRRM wallows in nihilism
Do you even know what "nihilism" is?

>>24985135
>Supposedly the northerners would know what the Night's King actually did, but none of their POV chapters spill the beans
We are told multiple times about the legend of the Night King
>It's like Ned chapters never actually telling us what happened at the Tower of Joy, he's only describing a DREAM based on his memories.
Why should he tell us concretely?
For one the reader can already glean the essential of what happened from the dream
Secondely it's not something Ned has no reason to tell it to anyone else and it's clearly something he doesn't like to think about and actively repressess (whence why he only dreams about it when he's feverous)
Thirdly from a storytelling perspective it would be a bad move to fully reveal such an important mystery that early on
>In the 5 books we currently have, there are smaller stories that do resolve. Do any of them star a hero who actually succeeds in his quest against an objective evil?
Honestly your criticisms are so flawed and superficial, that they border on caricature...
I would almost believe you're just baiting and shitposting, but since you put some effort I think it's safe to assume you did read the books but didn't understand even the basics
The fat man said it multiple times that the main moral focus of the series is about the interior conflict between good and evil in individual hearts, not some grand external battle against embodiments of metaphysical evil
That's why the chapters are PoVs dumbass
With said, we do have "smaller" moral victories that do resolve completely despite being tangled to a larger, unsolved struggle - just off the top of my head:
- Jon saving the old man on queenscrown
- Brienne killing the Bloody Mummer's
- Davos taking Edric Storm to safety and making Stannis see some sense
- Jaime rescuing Brienne
- Tyrion protecting Sansa from Joffrey
>I believe GRRM really wants discard our faith in humanity to embrace his ideal of a gestalt consciousness as the only righteous outcome.
I believe you're genuinely a midwit

>>24997338
this would be a good thing

>>24997323
This pic was made by a twitternigger

>Light bringer
>Little finger

>>25002332
>Jon saving the old man on queenscrown
Pretty sure Ygritte slit his throat right before Summer attacked

>>25004129
well, at least he tried...

>>25003887
pull my finger

new
>>25004346
>>25004346
>>25004346
>>25004346
>>25004346

>>24978778
>reusing the same text
Because the story is told from multiple characters POV and one character wouldn't know that another character already wrote or thought something.
But yeah, it reads horribly.