First for RI

Just caught up with Re: Trailer Trash. Definitely a tier above almost all RR stuff. However, for the last few chapters, the pace has felt extremely glacial. Like goddamn, 50k words per in-world day, and we're literally going day-by-day now, thousands of words of introspection happening every day---it's just too much. Has the author ran out of direction or what?

>wrapping up two fictions
>starting to get serious about launching the third
>time limit
>getting nervous
Someone tell me the secret to success is running multiple ads so I can relax a bit.

I whispered.

"Its nice. Thank you."

Suki's very pretty. Cute, gorgeous, something like that. I thought I'd be more uncomfortable being this close to her, physically. The way a man gets ants in his pants when some pretty girl starts hanging all over him. Don't get me wrong, I like that kind of antsy, believe me. Its just that I understand everything as who I am, or who I was. But my body, this body. I get physical sensations from it now. Suki didn't make me jumpy that way. She had this great calming effect. On me, on Kokoru, however it is. That's my fighter's philosophy I picked up being around my kickboxing friend.

It just is.

"Kerl-san. Do I have your permission, to touch you."

We were gazing into the water together for long minutes by then. I was just enjoying the calming. From the emotional outburst ending, from her warm friendly touch, from whatever source it came from. More rules of war. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't. This was working. Lean into it. I imitated the odd cadence they had speaking at times.

"We are already touching, Suki-chan. Why do you seek permission, to do that which you already do."

"Mm. I did not ask permission to touch you. I asked permission? To touch... you."

If it doesn't work, shy away from it. If it works, lean into it. I nodded yes. She took my right hand.

"This is the hand you pick things up with, yes."

She's making sure I'm right handed. Fighters notice what handed everyone they meet is, without noticing. Its like breathing to us. She made me feel like I was around one of my long lost battle buddies, though she didn't know it.

"Do this, Kerl-san."

She held her left hand up, and spread her fingers palm out to me. She left it there. I followed suit, with my matching right hand. She pressed in gentle. I could feel our palms grow warm together. Our fingers aligned. Mine are longer. Her fingertips rest in the slight hollow of the tiny joints just behind my fingernails. Not unlike a little girl's hand up against an adult's.

"Now close your eyes, and try to think of nothing. I know this is not possible, but do not direct your thought. Do not concentrate on any one thing. Just, let the thoughts come as they will."

It didn't take long. I could feel it. The warmth born of our hands being pressed, it spread. Not body heat, not temperature. The feeling of human warmth. Compassion. Caring. Nurturing. Empathy. Feeling pain because someone you liked felt it, feeling it more when that was a person you loved and cared about. It was... beautiful. I haven't felt that since I was young and I could still sit on my mom's lap.

"Wow."

"So. You feel it."

I nodded.

"I like it, its..."

"I know."

"Pretty sure I understand, Suki."

"I am sure you do. It is not difficult."

She now did the same thing. The only difference was, it was with her other hand up and out.

"If you wish, Kerl-san, you have my permission to touch... me."

I'm ambidextrous

I keep going back and forth on starting a story on RR about a plague knight in the thirteenth century fighting Saracens, ecclesiastical corruption, and demons in Jerusalem.

I want to make it gritty, dark, and historically grounded. I’m just worried it’s not a good fit for the audience on RR.

Should I just go for it and hope for the best?

>>24977632
>I'm ambidextrous
thanks. I'll have to give them a special ability. Hmm. They can send and receive with either hand. So, you think you're just reading them... but they're reading you back and you don't know. Thanks anon! Cool plot point to use later how they overcome something.

>>24977639
>Should I just go for it and hope for the best?
It's entirely a personal decision. How much do readers matter to you? Because you're correct: you're very unlikely to get many readers for that premise on RR.

>>24977639
RR has a very diverse userbase. There's a reader for virtually any kind of story. But the readers who will pick up your story will be those few professors who will nitpick about the incorrect positioning and length of the temple wall and that your saracen armor descriptions aren't historically accurate, while ignoring the story. Then there'll be another three tourists telling you to turn on edit suggestions, so they can point out all the grammar mistakes, while saying nothing about the story. Meanwhile, the remaining 99.998% of the site's users will not touch your work with a 30-foot pole.

hmm what if i made a story where the protagonist is misunderstood and treated badly but then he is understood and now everyone pities him and he turns into a bitch

>>24977639
you can get a meager cult following doing anything
if you're in it for money, get a job
if you have a story you to tell, stop making up excuses and write it

>>24977310
>character drama
>is intensely introspective
such is
I think the author is probably more occupied with the webcomic stuff

should I write one?

>>24977782
>I think the author is probably more occupied with the webcomic stuff
pretty sure the webcomic stuff is completely out of his hands. he made a post about how the management in charge of it ruined it and made him not want to write the story anymore

>>24977761
>he turns into a bitch
like an actual dog or is this more of a furry thing or do you mean sissification?

>>24977803
i think he means "into a (little) bitch"

>>24977761
what if I made a story where everyone keeps telling the protagonist to "just bee himself" except he's actually evil and selfish inside

>>24977782
>>is intensely introspective
I get it, but the last few chapters have been overwhelming with it, and repetitive at that. I probably feel it more because I've just binge read the thing, and to anyone else that reads it with its abysmal schedule, it's less noticeable.

Also, what the fuck is this new captchka

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>managed to write 7k words today
Yep, it's gym skipping time.
Anyone else sick from the holiday get togethers?
This sore throat fucking sucks...

I tried listining to the audiobook version of Sylver Seeker a few months ago.

It was several days long only for me to realize the ending was abruptly cut off and the story was largely pointless and would go on forever without much narrative progress.
Also almost everyone involved being absurdly extremely evil gets old after awhile.

>>24977899
i'm stuck at my parent's house with a broken heater so everything is cold and i shit every day which is unusual for me, not sure if I'm sick or just the food is going through me different.

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Okay, you guys convinced me. I’m going to write the most unlikable, uncomfortable, depressing, and pedantic medieval story possible. It’s going to have long, pointless historical diatribes, absolutely no escalation, and be deeply Catholic.

Wish me luck. I’ll put it up tonight.

>>24977925
so long as you choose to believe in yourself I'll believe in you too

>>24977698
>point out all the grammar mistakes
>... is BAD
I see why everyone nopes out of your story after a few paragraphs and puts you on the block list

Cultivation story. The love interest is a jade-hot beauty, but she has freckles. This doesn't align with the beauty standard, but our transmigrated MC doesn't care and they're lovey-dovey together.

>>24977310
>7 years since chapter 1
>61 chapters total
I would say the pace had been glacial since it began

>>24977698
>the only people into historyfic are history nerds
hmm...

>>24978052
>transmigrated MC
Why? I genuinely prefer amnesiac MC over that. Does he get run over by a truck in the first chapter, or does he have some insurable disease that kills him and then it's never mentioned again? 99% of stories seem to start that way, I usually just skip chapter one if there's an isekai tag

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==Mirabelle's Boots - The Cruel Fairy’s Wish==
by D.M. Rhodes / Razzmatazz

Progress: Complete

Lazy Synopsis: a stomped fairy gets too mad to stay dead but instead of genociding biggers like she swore, she gets crippling depression & social anxiety and lives the slow life in a human town to satisfy her trauma-induced boot obsession

Review: I really wanted to love this story, but while it's enjoyable, it lacks a certain tightness that compelling stories need. The central emotional journey has parts that feel out of place and the tension of needing to serve her dark oath is never actually delivered. We've got this strong start where her fairy tribe is getting casually stomped by cheerful prospectors on a mining job and it blossoms into this death-defying hatred... and then she gets a little sad about killing some animals that attacked her and all the anger is gone and biggers are ok enough that she immediately decides to live amongst them indefinitely. And then out of nowhere we discover she's got this intense self-hatred and social anxiety, which is written as if it existed prior to (and not strictly because of) her curse despite the first chapter establishing hers years as joyous. c28 even makes it out as if she was some kind of pariah, having never a positive word said of her. The social anxiety aspect is also strange because it feels muddled between justifiable fear of giants & adventurers and this pervasive conviction of hers that's she's completely unlikeable as a person and the only way to square it is that her absurd guilt for killing the wrong things was only curable by killing the right ones. Altogether it feels a lot like looking at a drawing left out in the rain so that all the colours are bleeding out beyond their lines into a confused muddle.

>>24978094 (cont.)
This semi-lucid feeling then stacks with the prose. While the prose in general is good—especially with the little touches of humour and bias—there's just enough GPTisms to sour it, especially when we get to the final few chapters where it becomes immensely harder to believe that this was written without some level of AI assistance. You've got somethingslop, intensifierslop (wider, stronger, different..), size confusion (a shoelast the size of *Mirabelle's* thumb), reddit voice/limpwristed tryhardslop, staccatoslop, faux-technical and faux-artistic 2deep4u babble, random shit *humming*... I could go on. Any of these in isolation would be understandable, but together give the strong sense that AI was used. I had to put down the story for a bit on c29 because it was reading like something straight out of a bad swipe in SillyTavern. However, in defence of the author, there is evidence towards human effort like some of the more interesting sentence constructions and stylistic flourishes; LLMs typically have very rigid, conservative approaches to syntax and style. And there weren't any of the usual glaring butcheries of figurative language AI oh-so loves, nor hamfisted attempts at sensory cinematic language which together make one of the most obvious smoking guns (ex. Vitaly's stories). Put together, the author probably used AI for ideas and just got lazy on the last chapters for the sake of just getting the story finished after two years of hiatus.

On the size & non-human aspects, they vary between ok and good. I think the worst offences were how the author didn't really convey the feeling of being amongst the grasses and never really accounted for her wings in clothesmaking, even though it's strongly indicated her wings are physical. But these things are made up for like the balanced handling of animal attacks & the vigilance to avoid them, flying fatigue, keeping warm, the troubles of rain, interactions with humans & their things. It did well to give that sense of 3d freedom being a fairy would have, which itself is a strong indicator of it not being entirely AI written—AI is fucking moronic when it comes to handling how tiny people and flying tiny people especially would navigate space.

>>24978097 (cont. final)
The plot is straightforward, inasmuch as there is a plot beyond "Mira gradually realises she's good and people like her". The worldbuilding is mostly left as an exercise to the reader, the only interesting bit being the kingdom's efforts to into magic animal conservation after destroying the ecosystem. As LitRPG... it's very superficial. We get only a handful of chapters where the system is relevant beside item boxes, and of the mechanics, what little that's established seems to not really bear on anything, culminating in Mira's Enchantment ability which seems to come out of the blue and do anything. If there's a steelman to be had, it's that you can argue this flows from the theme of Mira rejecting the dictates of the violent system. Similarly, I acknowledge I could just be "not getting" the emotional journey, but honestly, I don't see anywhere missed nuance would be a better explanation than clumsy execution. I can see all the emotional battles laid out for Mira, but they don't feel like part of a coherent campaign, and thus aren't compelling for me.

I think the only value in the story is that it's not bad when taken as a slow, cosy slice-of-life adjacent experience. Mira's exploits around town, her people-watching, artisanal aspirations, and friendship are all very enjoyable in isolation. Indeed, you could lop off the whole curse & revenge plot points and the story would be better for it; a story about a displaced fairy trying to make a new home among scary but fascinating giants is a sufficient core that plays to the story's strengths. The only impact the curse really has is making her tough enough to survive threats. Yes, it poisons the shoemaker (in an unelaborated fashion unique to him unless Grace's potentially implied cold-like reaction is supposed to have killed him peacefully in his sleep), but aside from that, the promise of her inherent danger is never delivered upon despite her slathering her poison all over stuff and getting into all the water.

>>24978094
would you recc this to a mentally ill FMC enjoyer?

>>24978078
He just woke up in the cultivation world one day. You're right that I should probably cut this part, but it could add to the mystery.

>>24978094
I've never read reviews by anyone who writes as well as you do, especially in terms of presenting nonsensical trash in a neutral manner, while also having zero discernment due to fetish bias.

>>24978112
Assuming you mean
>would you recc this to a [mentally ill FMC] enjoyer
then not really? Her major dysfunctions are PTSD, depression, and low self-esteem driving social anxiety. The picture doesn't really capture the written character at all. As said, her hate pretty much fizzles out immediately to the point she's plum fine to be living around humans. Her PTSD amounts to her getting spooked here and there by certain noises but doesn't devolve into anything as dramatic as a panic attack. The depression is low-grade, crippling only in that she starves herself and periodically withdraws from the world—but she rebounds quite easily and never falls into anything I'd call properly heavy. And the social anxiety isn't much distinguishable in practice than rational fear of giants; she does fine when she manages to muster up the courage and isn't being mobbed.

>>24978127
Thanks? But may I ask what makes you think I have "zero" discernment? I'll readily admit I'm biased (I even declared this on my first review) but surely my discernment isn't *that* compromised?

>>24978094
do you take requests? I'd love to hear what you think of my work.

>>24978143
shame
what's the point of a female protagonist if they're not a volatile threat to every individual and institution that'll accept them

>>24978151
In the sense that I've established a pattern of doing so, yes. No promises I'll deliver.

>>24978153
People read fiction to *escape* reality, anon.

>>24978153
Strictly speaking all well-written female protagonists, the ones that re believably female and are structurally protagonists, are exactly as you described.
If they're not a threat to everyone around them, they're either a poorly-written female, or not the protagonist.
As the above anon said, fantasy is generally considered an escape from reality, which is why we can have female protagonists with some degree of competence without losing verisimilitude entirely.

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Cultivation story, but the MC is an old monster trapped in a ring and he has to figure out how to scheme and plot his way out of his imprisonment.

Cultivation story, but the MC is an old frog trapped in a gigantic world that is actually a reverse tower (well) and he has to figure out how to scheme and plot his way out of his imprisonment.

Cultivation story, but the MC is an old frog lusting over a swan, and he has to figure out how to scheme and plot his way into her heart

How much smut can I slip past the Royal road filters?

>>24978254
3

>>24978254
correlates 1:1 with how many readers you get
so there's no point. get away with it = no readers, actually get readers = story gets banned

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>>24977925

How's this so far?


Carrion crows blotted out the desert sky in apocalyptic waves, descending in a black mass to feed on the fallen Christians.

Thousands lay dead—the dry open mouths of the corpses choked by sand in the dunes beneath black smoke and a red sun that shone like a ruby.

The Crusaders had failed in their march to Tiberias. The Frankish army had taken the Darb al-Hawarnah road, built a century earlier by the Romans, and served as the main east-west passage between the Jordan fords, the Sea of Galilee, and the Mediterranean coast. When Saladin arrived with his Saracen army, they cut off all exits, set fire to the brush, and the Crusaders were forced to take refuge between two hills called the Horns of Hattin.

There they fought, and there—they died.

Gladius Grimm laid among the bodies, half-asleep, starved for water in the heat, and pinned by his horse, so plucked full of arrows it more resembled a hedgehog. That was the Muslim way to defeat armored knights—when they could not pierce Christian steel then instead slew the horses out from under them.

A Ghazi scavenger, not yet man, and wrapped in a keffiyeh across his face held tight by a goat-hair agal ring atop his head, kneeled down to the felled knight.

In one hand he held a bloody dagger, and in the other a satchel filled with a collection of severed fingers. Each one bore a ring or two. Mementos of love now lost, or family crests from bloodlines brought to mortal ends in this plagued desert. Was Jerusalem worth the cost?

The nobles would be ransomed by Saladin and set free, the Templars and Knights Hospitallers would be personally beheaded by his own scimitar. But Gladius Grimm, as a Knight of Saint Lazarus, was left to die. No man would dare touch him. He was cursed. Abandoned by their shared God. He was a leper.

As the Saracen brandished his knife, his quarry, the felled knight, shot out a gauntleted hand and seized the boy by the wrist.

The realization washed over the Ghazi boy and he screamed, wrenching his arm free, and he scrambled to his feet and ran into the desert, through the tangle of corpses.

Gladius blinked dust from his eyes beneath his helm, a death-mask hammered into the visor. On his chest he wore armor draped in a white tabard that bore a green eight-pointed cross, though ragged and stained with blood.

>>24978295
>Gladius Grimm
cute

My Nowhere Stars physical books came in and look nicer than expected. For one, I had forgotten that, due to the nature of being a light novel, it had artwork inside so that was a nice surprise to see. I may take some pictures tomorrow.

The few chapters of Necroepilogos that I have read so far have been different than what I was expecting, in a good way? I like the overall background premise and hope that future reveals which elaborate upon the setting are well-done. I can see what anon meant in that the author's prose has a clear noticeable level of effort put in, comparatively. Are there ever illustrations? I feel that there were too many characters immediately introduced for me to keep up with, or care about.

30 something chapters into Bookbound Bunny. A straightforward Slice of Life. All I can really hope for is Lily to undergo any level of character development, ideally gaining confidence and assertiveness, perhaps now that she has her ~Mana Core~.

>>24978114
You don't need isekai/transmigration in cultivation because cultivation is already a core power-slop genre.

>>24978302
Are the illustrations made for the book or where they in the web novel?
I was thinking of getting art for my winnie but I feel like that might actually detract from it when read online.

>>24978308
yeah but have you considered this: you do it anyway

>>24978321
It's the same illustrations as the webnovel.
The first physical novel has some darker-background scheme on the first page of a new chapter that is not repeated for books 2 and 3.

>>24978295
>Gladius Grimm laid among the bodies, half-asleep, starved for water in the heat, and pinned by his horse, so plucked full of arrows it more resembled a hedgehog. That was the Muslim way to defeat armored knights—when they could not pierce Christian steel then instead slew the horses out from under them.

I like it. Gritty and realistic. I enjoy how you concentrated on a brief overview of the lost battle, not wisecracking hero who can't be stopped. You captured the gravity of the everything, and I like dark and heavy. I know he's the tough hero MC, but you avoided the tropes. Good job.
the spelling and prose is fine fo a rough draft. I don't nitpick over little niggles. Knelt, not kneeled. The em dashes is a style thing. Avoid them, you won't get AI accusations. Again, good job. I like how he's a cursed man. adored white hat heroes, always quipping wise? Its childish. This is a more mature look at a battle. Keep up and hold this... tone. Even when he gets around to winning, it should still be dark and heavy. Even winning a battle isn't fun. I award this with the title of... kino.

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>—

I ran out of interesting reincarnated as a baby in a world with magic isekai.
>Yes I tried the storm king as a change of pace and it's shit
What do?

>nootices

>>24978392
tfw

>>24978387

Thanks.

>>24978401
Not going to make recommendations unless you tell us what you've already read.

>>24978401
Reverend Insanity

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>review accuses me of using AI because...my MC is too cool

>>24978600
You should reply that this review must be AI because it thinks the MC is too cool.

>>24978600
every fucking comment section now is "you're using AI I can tell because xyz"

>>24978601
Too bad they don't let you comment reviews. You can just take it in the ass like a good goy

>>24978509
liked and maxed out chapters on reborn healer, power overwhelming, penitent, mythshaper, low-fantasy occultist, hocus pocus hypothesis, machinist of mana to name a few. Not into nonhuman leads, cultivation magic systems, romance and time loops as a general rule just because i cannot stand the associated tropes.

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I can come up with all kind of fanfic ideas but not original stories

>>24978656
such as?

>>24977779
Not really.
The vast majority of creators have zero following of any kind.
Even getting a tiny following is a unlikely and difficult task.

>>24978401
Last Orellen

>>24978401
Working on it.

>>24978656
50th shades of gray is a twilight fan fic
so you can translate it

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>>24978780
Maybe I'll write a sasuke/naruko fanfic then change the character names. Hollywood is calling!

>>24978405
no problem.

good morning /lit/.
my new project seems to be going okay, I like it. little samples haven't been getting me responses like that's word vomit. I think I'm slowly over several projects getting more adept at putting some emotional content into my writing w/o the sappy cringe. Best christmas present ever and the only one I got this year. Later. Gotta get ready for my shitty day job, Mr. Skelelberg is counting on me. Lol.

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>reaches the level of Patreon success that took Super Supportive almost 3 years to attain in only 6 months, despite having ~20% less followers, and only half the favorites and ratings on RR
How did they do it? Is it because this author posts their story in 4 different websites while Supper Supportive's author limits himself to RR? Anons always tell me that it's better to stay exclusive to RR so you can move to Kindle Unlimited later, just like Zogarth, and some even have recommended making it explicit that you only post on RR on the synopsis. Granted, ArcaneCadence still earns plenty less than Zogarth, but multiplatform posting no longer seems like a bad idea. Am I missing something? My story is still stuck making less than 2k USD every month on Patreon even though I've been consistent since I posted the first chapter EXCLUSIVELY to RR since November last year.

I'm not reviewanon but I just read Speaker of Tongues by Chris Tullbane and it's a LitRPG. Stumbled across it while checking if there were any sequels to his other series, in which a hapless moron stumbles dick-first into a possible harem of vampires but only has eyes for the librarian. I found this instead.

There's more of a focus on being a party in this one. Normally you'd expect this to be all found family nonsense but every time there's a climax the author rubs out at least one party member. The protagonist is mentioned to be "Chosen" but his only special trait is being able to speak/read/write every language.

Quick sidenote: five seconds after being summoned (while high off his tits) the MC stumbles into a lizardkin priestess nearly getting murdered by a shoggoth-thing and winds up stalling it long enough for help to arrive, and they're paired up constantly. She doesn't seem to have a pussy but there's mention of a breeding cycle so we'll see how that winds up, I guess.

Anyway, it's fine. Lot of infodumping about the mechanics and while the author pretends it's all a mystery how it works it doesn't seem anywhere near as complex as he's making it sound. The conclusions aren't super thrilling and the MC is emotionally numb, but, like I said, fine. Nothing to really merit any particular notice either negative or positive. 3/5 material, I feel like.

>>24978912
maybe the material is the better wish fulfillment?

>>24978912
What are these other platforms?

>>24978912
>some even have recommended making it explicit that you only post on RR on the synopsis
whoever gave you this advice, never listen to again

>>24978912
Can you not move to KU if you post in other places?

>>24978912
How much money are you making on Patreon, exactly? Sub-2k is by no means little. You're already at a pretty high substrate.

>>24978949
>She doesn't seem to have a pussy
Birds and reptiles have something called a cloaca.
I know of this because of a Total War Warhammer meme about the Dark Elves medusa that's based on the puffy vulva meme of Spice and Wolf fame.

>>24978912
>How did they do it?
Nobody can say for certain what causes runaway successes like that. It's not any particular strategy they used though. In fact they did a lot 'wrong' by the advice of big sloppers. The author just wrote a story that really scratched the audience's itch. Right place right time
>Is it because this author posts their story in 4 different websites while Supper Supportive's author limits himself to RR?
Like I said, no one can say for certain, but my personal conjecture is that the story is more addicting/has more cliffhangers. Some stories convert to patreon users better, and not because they're higher or lower quality.

>Anons always tell me that it's better to stay exclusive to RR so you can move to Kindle Unlimited later
>>24979031
No, this is nonsense, you just have to stub on every site and you can go to KU just fine. Zero idea where anon got this idea from
Beware of Chicken still has their story on SpaceBattles, it's just stubbed
MLA author intends to stub early next year too

>but multiplatform posting no longer seems like a bad idea.
It was never a bad idea. Some authors just say the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Just like MLA had alien levels of success of royalroad, it also had alien levels of success on SpaceBattles and ScribbleHub. It has the most watchers of any original story on SpaceBattles already, and while it doesn't have too many readers on ScribbleHub, picking up a readership at all as a non smut story is extremely slow there, and somehow they have over 2k.
So multi-site posting might barely move the needle for you. But there's also no reason not to. (And there's never been a reason not to, besides maybe that taking it down from multiple sites is a bit annoying)

>My story is still stuck making less than 2k USD every month on Patreon even though I've been consistent since I posted the first chapter EXCLUSIVELY to RR since November last year.
If you're already doing the basics marketing stuff right, you should be focusing on writing better, more, or more addictingly. Don't fall in the trap where you just try to game the system, thinking that success is just about posting schedules, the ads you run, or whatever the fuck.
People become patreons to read stories they enjoy. Write a story more people enjoy more

>>24979041
Okay, well, there's no mention of her having titties or having a cloaca either, and as far as I recall no mention of the men being hemipenised. Her kind seems to lay eggs. You get what I mean.

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==The Howler from the Void==
by SeventhSinnerSix, an Original Fiction on That Fanfiction Website We're Not Supposed To Talk About Because Jannies Are Trannies

Lazy Synopsis: isolation-maddened astronaut gibbers and howls his way into being mistaken for an animal by hoity-toity space ants, gets into enough trouble that the GALACTIC FEDERATION begins cracking apart in paroxysms of military paranoia

Progress: Chapter 30

Review: So far as HFY goes, I admire the effort given and the unusual premise, but I feel the reach exceeds the author's grasp in a lot of places, so it fails to be more than (inventive) HFY-slop despite its seemingly higher ambitions. This is foreshadowed in part by the first chapter: a strong, punchy start that works quick to define the protagonist's character and give the reader a wealth of sympathy for him and his situation while establishing a hard-leaning scifi tone through the use of technical language & discussion. But with close examination, things start to flake apart—what relevant tensor GR calcs could be both needed and done by hand here? If algae is more efficient (and sustainable!) than the scrubbers, why was it not being used instead? If the aliens use a garden metaphor instead of an office file cabinet metaphor for their file system, why does their command line interface follow an office metaphor? Why are logs #11 & #12 declared terminally corrupt if they get recovered anyway? Little discrepancies that could perhaps be individually overlooked & explained (not everyone's taken a computational GR course!), but together paint a less encouraging picture. I wince every time I read "galaxies" because I cannot have the confidence that the author knows the distinction between them and solar systems.

>>24979146 (cont.)
So while the author does admirably to inject technical vocabulary (I learned some words!) and perspective, his real successes are in the cultural and (to a lesser extent) biological worldbuilding. Fyrix society is fascinating. From their clout-based pseudo-economic system to their approach to history, their performative culture with its social castes and deep language, their body language (or rather, lack thereof) and the subtly alien aspects of their psychology. We get to see multiple perspectives within (and without) their society which gives it a healthy sense of natural depth to counteract the "planet of the hats" effect. An admiral, an artist, the emperor, and a pariah, and all the short segments with ordinary citizenry. But, sadly, as most HFY and scifi do, the story in general still falls afoul of the hats effect and furthermore, the aliens all share the same ~STP, oxygen-nitrogen, levo-CHNOPS environment. Each species is presented being a monoculture, their names often substituted in the places we'd put institutions or subcultures. Luoma feels much like a single-biome planet with only a single ecosystem. And, aside from tirotiro, the populations feel small and connected, like these species represent countries rather than interstellar empires. If you wanted a illustrating counterexample of what I mean with that last one, the webcomic *Space Princess* does an excellent job conveying what the scale of an interstellar civilisation would feel like.

While the characters at times feel too human given how alien the author tries to make them otherwise, the characterisation is interesting and engaging and even sometimes amusing. The struggles of the overdramatic artist resonate, the bested admiral's soon all-consuming quest to KILL THAT FUCKING MONSTER, the pariah's expat experience, all do very well, showing facets of depth beyond mere stereotype. There's never a PoV the sight of whose chapters evoke disappointment as with so many other multi-PoV stories. And in a similar vein, the stylistic flourishes like Eigen's PoV chapters being in (proper!) screenplay format are much enjoyed. It doesn't read as AI slop. It could certainly use an editor, however, as there's a wealth of typos.

>>24979149 (cont. final)
As for the plot, it's straightforward but well-executed for the most part. The sequence of misunderstandings cascading wonderfully into a Right Proper Shit Storm, each mis-inference coming across as largely believable, properly playing on the very real dangers of cultural misunderstanding. I say largely believable because there's a couple eyebrow-quirking parts here and there, such as why they'd roll with the assumption the human spacecraft is an RKV if it was clearly established the vehicle was both manned and decelerating. The whole point of an RKV is you never stop accelerating until the target is cosmic dust, and the beauty of an RKV is that they're largely foolproof constructions that need hardly more than an engine and reactor to serve their purpose—nevermind a powerful steering apparatus or crew! Where the story really disappoints though, in my opinion, is the sheer luck and capability of Eigen. After a certain point, it just feels ridiculous how the man can still be alive especially on an alien world. A memorable Stargate episode illustrates why quite nicely: a parasite doesn't really need to care about your biology so long as it's compatible enough to consume, and in doing so, will invariably fuck up something you need unfucked to remain living. Even on conveniently levo-CHNOPS alien planet, disease and poison would be no joke.

Concerning the HFY side, it's remarkably balanced & justified. The aliens aren't bumbling children's toys who'd gawp in awe at the genius of tying shoes. They know war and military and survival—the protagonist only gets as far as he does because the Fyrix pride themselves on being civilised, reluctant to stoop to barbarity, and bend themselves into pretzels to become delicately refined. Human tech is considered so primitive that it's equivalent to junk and only exceptional in that the civilised species sworn off certain dangerous technologies used. Humans are biologically exceptional so far as intelligent species go, but still fit well within the general scale on their xenobiological classification. Indeed, if there's a nitpick to be had, it's the question of why creatures from a *high gravity* world would be bigger than creatures from a *low gravity* world. I'm not even getting into the Big Alien Theory here. I'm just pointing that this is somewhat counter to intuition but nevertheless a too-common trope. It was refreshing when *The Princess and the Human* did it right, with its protagonist being less than half the height of the other species but fully capable of ripping them apart with her superior muscle density.

I think that more-or-less covers it. Admirable attempt that with a little bit of polishing would be pretty good for HFY. Maybe with a revision to address the deeper troubles it'd be publishable. I’ve certainly paid for worse.

>>24979146
Are you a marketing fluffer? Do you professionally polish turds to promote them for others as a living?

>>24979293
No, I'm just a bleeding heart and hate pooing on others' hard work, especially with how I've plumbed the depths of truly horrible writing. Nothing here reviewed is nearly so bad as the worst I've encountered. I also have a philosophy of embracing the best parts of that which I encounter. It's not wasted time if one can find value in it. Life is better when one takes the good as it comes rather than loftily declaring it all shit for vacuous social purposes. I also write, myself.

>>24979293
go back to /wg/

>>24979308
What a terrible way to live. You have my condolences.

>>24979332
idk he sounds pretty based and you, the opposite

>>24979308
I usually don't like begging but could you take a look at my story when you have the time? It would mean a lot to me.
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/63818/the-crow-and-the-rabbit

>>24979394
your mc is my wife btw.

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>wrote a way too epic climax for my first story arc
>realize there's no way in hell I can ever top this and it'll inevitably become "the point after which it turned to shit" for the readers
How did I ever trick myself into thinking this was going to be fun?

>>24979394
Better watch out. Some chuckle fuck reported me for linking my story (after being asked no less).

>>24978401
What would Spectral Soul do in this situation?

>>24979525
think of it this way, your readers know you can write kino and now they know they're in the 'calm before the storm' arc of your story.

rather have a writer that can pay off the wait than have someone that's just monotonously boring or too slow to deliver on their story's promise. that's what keeps them a follower for life.

Another productive day of gooning with zero writing done, time for bed

>>24979525
You don't know that yet. Maybe you'll deliver something even better next time. You won't find out until you write it.

>>24979657
>>24979538
You're right. Gotta stay positive. This part wasn't supposed to be anything so special in the original outline either. I end up improvising a lot when actually writing it out.

>>24979458
You like autistic girls or something?

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>>24979532
Kill!

>>24979716
grew up around it, can't live without it

>>24977779
I don't know how to start my story. I have ideas on what a decent start to a story is like, but it doesn't align with the story I want to tell.
Maybe I need to do some kind of in media res with flashbacks or references to those earlier times.

>>24978401
nigotta hitomi no lilianne

>>24979799
>Can you tell the flashback in 200 words or less? If not, no one's interested or invested enough to care yet about the world or the characters you're mentioning and it's better to start in medias res.

You have to ease your readers and build a web of topics/people/events that connect with each other first before people start to care about flashbacks.

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>>24979012
elaborate
>>24979018
ScribbleHub, SpaceBattles, and SufficientVelocity.
t. https://www.patreon.com/arcanecadence/about?
>>24979026
it is supposed to let RR and Amazon that you are serious about giving them exclusivity once you move on to KU
>>24979034
Thanks for the kind words, darling, but I can't feel successful until writing becomes my main source of income, and/or earn enough to quit my backbreaking factory job.

>>24979809
Of course. I was thinking of a structure like the start of Lost. The story opens with survivors of the plane crash and then much later you get the actual plane crash shown itself. That's what I was thinking of.

I want there to be some clues in the "plane crash" event itself, but I think starting the story there is not a good idea. In a visual medium that might be okay, but on paper I think it will just be boring. Obviously the story isn't about an actual plane crash, although that could make for an interesting Isekai start.

>>24979836
I hate lost, I don't get how suckers fell for it "mystery box"
yeah narrative con

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>>24978912
>>24979068
How does Amazon even find out whether or not you've stubbed all your stuff across all platforms or not? Do they simply google your legal name and username and make decisions based on what comes up? What if someone uploads your work under your exact same username on a platform you've never even heard of? Seems pretty hopeless and one-sided against the author. This must be why some anons have pointed out, or at least assumed in a somewhat reasonable manner, that adding a disclaimer that says something like "I ONLY publish on RoyalRoad, so if you see my stuff elsewhere it's stolen" (just like Zogarth and a handful of other authors I've come across do) to your fiction page on RR, as soon as you upload your first chapter, and taking screenshots of it, is a good way to prove commitment and legitimacy. Maybe I'm just crazy or paranoid.

>>24979900
Presumably they only check if someone flags it. And I imagine that if you're working with a publisher they're gonna be pretty annoyed if you don't take it down.

>>24979716
I should make my femc autistic

>>24979816
>it is supposed to let RR and Amazon that you are serious about giving them exclusivity once you move on to KU
??????????????????????????

>>24979816
>>24979964
Sorry, you bluescreened me for a second there
I don't even know what you mean by this. Amazon is not some publishing house you have to impress and get signed by. KU is a checkbox you click when submitting your work and it's purely automatic, nobody reviews your application or some shit. What in the world do you mean 'signal your intent' to them? Why would that matter? Where does RR come into the picture??? They're just a hosting website, they have no claim to your work and you don't have to do shit for them if you want to move to KU
>>24979900
>How does Amazon even find out whether or not you've stubbed all your stuff across all platforms or not?
Not sure but they probably have automated bots that google search full paragraphs from your story and see if they get any hits, and if they do a real person is assigned to go check/start a case
But lots of works are fully pirated/hosted online and they stay on KU just fine. Amazon knows authors can't control piracy.

>>24979530
Janny usually only deletes them if you're saying or is being obvious you're shilling, like that guy who got 5 shillpost deleted

>>24979962
any mc you write will probably be read as autistic, intentional or not
same for most posters here

>>24980244
my first couple books I tried to write and this was many years ago. The MC was OP, though we didn't call it that back then. Over the years I gradualy learned varios techniques to mae the character better, more believable, more complex. Byronic was a major step up now I follow a noir path (even when not writing noir). I've played with not exactly an autistic MC but a couple experiments with how flawed they could be and I still enjoyed reading them. It might be a trope but I like the odd in childhood then they bloom late and become successful at something other than "making money and being cool". I mean there's enough superhero MCs out there. If one wanted to call that autistic call it what you want. But I swear character complexity is a good thing. Yes a self insert OP char is fun to self insert into. But a flawed character is an easier self insert for many.

>>24980278
Who asked?

>>24979293
>Are you a marketing fluffer? Do you professionally polish turds to promote them for others as a living?
I once got good at reviewing music. Step one, is I first list *everything* and *anything* I possibly can that was good or even okay. I go on at some length about each point. Only then, after a tiny segue start into what I felt were shortcomings. I never had a flagged review overturned which was a feat on that site,believe me. I ended up getting requests to review music, too. I even go sent little presents and told they copied my review and used it mostly word for word for something. If you can't find anything positive at all to point out, you have no business reviewing. If you cant appreciate beyond what you personally like, again you have no business attempting it. I feel most of this should apply to anything you are going to review.

>>24980308
>participates in a discussion
>gets belligerent when other people talk back
autistic retard
>>24980278
>reply doesn't directly extend from the previous topic
>follows a parallel train of thought without communicating that you've moved topics
>no effort to include the rest of the discussion in what you have to say at all
non-sequitur autist
I understand why so many beginner writers want a style guide to mindlessly follow. you stupid fucks need someone to hold your hand through a conversation

>retard that spams non-sequitur because he just learned the term last week
+1 schizo shitting up the general

>>24980330
don't act like we don't have a problem with posters replying with whatever random shit
it is almost impossible to have a discussion here because even when good posters are around, tina or some other retard will derail the conversation with their blathering

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me when i invent an entirely new in-universe colloquial term just to better glaze my MC in an enemy pov chapter

>>24980409
post your most hype glazing

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The new chapter of FFF-Class 'Unlucky Antagonist' is out!!!
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/119783/fff-class-unlucky-antagonist-villains-origin-story/chapter/2891483/hero-part-six

This chapter: A hot date between two professors!!!

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>>24980409
100 years ago you had to use a typewriter now the c̸o̴m̷p̷u̷t̸e̶r̶ writes for ÿ̴̛͚́ǫ̵̈́ṵ̴͘

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>>24980416
I honestly can't pick one as the most hype or best but I think this section from the end of vol.3 turned out well
https://pastebin.com/avdHVXXr

The section in cherno caster vol.1's prologue about the three curses is also pretty good I think

>>24980316
>the purpose of the reviewing is to generate revenue for others
No. The purpose of reviewing entertainment is foremost self-expression. If it helps others decide whether they want to experience it for their self, that's a bonus.

>>24980448
I can't decide if having gooner art of your fmc commissioned is based or not
it definitely gives you away

>>24980478
oh no, the writer has a sex drive
the horror

>>24980480
it gives away that your mc is just your waifu
as an fmc reader it kinda turns me away

>>24980478
>commissioned
that's AI

>>24980485
retard

mentally registered a dialogue tag while and can't unsee them
>elucidates
>interjects
>clarifies
fuck. this is like noticing your nose in your peripheral vision or thinking about manual breathing
take me back. man wasn't meant for this knowledge

>>24980486
doubt akaso would share ai art for his story, he's always commissioning people

>>24980491
then he got scammed

>>24980488
i... accept your concession? you folded especially fast

>>24980488
what's retarded about it
personally I don't give a shit about it, but I can relate to the sentiment. if I notice a writer is trans and their story has a fmc, it reframes all of the character's personality and actions in a way that's gross
you can never be sure of the author's intent without them outright saying it but that doesn't stop you from getting a sense of them if you start nooticing

>>24980492
doubt it. internet is absolutely infested with ai accusations that are wrong.
won't say it's not possible but it definitely isn't guaranteed. AI art (and writing) is good enough to pass these days, which causes problems in both directions

>>24980499
it's the most basic bitch CBS artstyle prompt slop I have ever seen

it's AI, sorry you had to find out this way

>>24980504
doubt it. where do you think AI learned these styles from? the artists they trained on

>>24980448
>draw my OC as if she were Revy from Black Lagoon

Uh oh melty!

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>>24980478
it's a fairly ordinary pinup, I think

also
>le any sex appeal is le gooner
woman pretty
it's very simple

>>24980486
no, pappaserho
https://x.com/pappaserho
>>24980492
i don't think i did, i pride myself on my ability to find affordable commissions and I feel shocked every time i see someone in a discord quoting how much they paid for cover art or what have you

>>24980485
my characters are my characters, i fundamentally can't enjoy them as an audience-member can
i don't think i could get off to art of any of them, even if explicitly pornographic, and doubly so art i commissioned, it's just not the same
the sex appeal is there but i get a purely "both I and the artist really cooked with that design" type of satisfaction from it
i don't self-insert, and i always imagine myself as having a background support character type of role, because that's the only one my natural personality is suitable for, Krahe would regard me as an unassuming recluse if for some reason she were to interact with an insert of me in-story

picrel

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>>24980504
I have the WIPs and psd source files so hey, I doubt it

I like woman

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>>24980537
true and real

>>24980537
stunning and brave

>>24980336
Sometimes it feels like they just quote a random anon to share their navel gazing

>>24980490
I use elucidate, interject, clarify... and other words because I have a vocabulary. I'm not "reaching" when I use my vocabulary speaking to people and I get to use more when I'm writing. Why. Does these three words used in and around dialogue tags (supposedly) indicate AI or something? Curious. I try not to use repetition unless its an effect, and that's rare. I feel its monotonous and boring to see a stream of "he said he said, he said" so I try to break the shit up.

>>24980536
AI sloppers can even fake timelapses now, let alone sketches

>>24980525
>it's a fairly ordinary pinup, I think
her whole fucking ass is out and her shorts are a foot into her asscrack. it's the focal point of the piece. you really are a gooner if you don't see how sexualized it is
which isn't necessarily an issue, but my god man. it's gooner

>>24980549
So everything is AI now then. Which means nothing is.

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>>24980550
>the pinup is sexualized
>THE PINUP
>IS SEXUALIZED
yes? and? here's one more, just for good measure.

>>24980549
ogey rrat

>>24980551
not everything

but that certainly is

>>24980550
A pinup isn't gooner dude.
Goon isn't just a synonym for masturbation. It's way more mentally ill than that.
Anyway there's girls outside dressed worse than that it's not a big deal.

Anti-ai schizos are almost as annoying as AIniggers

>>24980552
pinups can be more or less tasteful and both of those are way on the gooner side, not the tasteful side
which AGAIN isn't a problem but why are you pretending it's not gooner? live your truth king stop lying to yourself

https://harpers.org/archive/2025/11/the-goon-squad-daniel-kolitz-porn-masturbation-loneliness/

>>24980555
>A pinup isn't gooner dude.
sexualized artwork of your novel's characters in general is something I would consider gooner to be desu with you
but those pics especially. they're literally one step short of actual nudes

>>24980547
I just found it lame in the instance in which I was reading it. it's not a personal attack on your specifically
craft wise, I think the body of dialogue should convey the manner in which its said and not need a dialogue tag. not only should the dialogue do this, most dialogue does. so a dialogue tag usually ends up as a clarification of something obviously illustrated. repeatedly doing this is annoying, like being patronized by someone slowly explaining something as if you're an idiot. that said, dialogue tags can be fine. anything can work, depends on execution, etc etc
as a reader, I do not want to notice that shit. I think if a reader ever notices your dialogue tags something has gone wrong

>>24980554
You can't tell the difference.

Sometimes I consider going full on smutwriter but I think even less people would read my work then

>>24980468
>>the purpose of the reviewing is to generate revenue for others
I'm scratching my head, puzzled. I never once said nor implied that. I was a musician and I was on a "get and get reviewed" website, it was a huge one though now defunct. I had to review X other tracks (across all genres) to get one of my tracks into the review queue. So I learned to review. You earned bonus (heavier rotation, IE more reviews) by doing more and more reviews of others. I never made a peny, but I must have gotten good at it. I had a 5 star reviewing rating and I was site certified to call other reviews if they were questioned. The fact peopl eemailed me to tell me how in depth my reviews were and were asking me to select theirs so they could get one of my lengthy reviews, made me proud I had learned a skill. I got asked more than once "how can I write better reviews" because it earned you stuff on the site for your own tracks. My number one advice... always list all the things you like first, then go to adequate. All criticism comes last. The person getting critiqued takes it way better, and readers always enjoyed it more. All that said, the guy here suddenly doing all these 3 post reviews, I find him more than adequate at it for just some anon.

>wrote another 3 short stories to test out my setting instead of writing my actual wn
one of these days I will commit...

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>>24980564
Even actual nudes can be tasteful, and regular porn isn't "gooner."
I hate that I actually know this shit and have to explain it to retards who just copy words they see online.
Also if the character is written as sexually attractive there's nothing wrong with drawings of the character as sexually attractive.

>>24980421
>This chapter: A hot date between two professors!!!
I certainly hope its M and F, and they were born M and F.

>>24980578
Depends on your skill level
Going super niche is how bad writers can pick up decent amounts of readers
Lower ceiling but higher floor

>>24980586
it sounds like we're just using the term differently, which makes this conversation very uninteresting
surely you've noticed that what I'm actually talking about is purposefully commissioning pics with your mc's ass hanging out and taking up a third of the artwork
>Also if the character is written as sexually attractive there's nothing wrong with drawings of the character as sexually attractive.
Really not applicable. You can have a big tits curvy figure character draw with big tits and a curvy figure, but are you SERIOUSLY conflating that with the images on display here? engage me in good faith man

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>>24980564
sexualized != gooner
sexuality is not the same as hyper sexuality

>>24980596
fine, fine, i used the G word too casually, holy fuck
still gives away your mindset to constantly commission your fmc in very sexualized poses

>>24978302
>11 chapters into Necroepilogos
>already almost finished with the second arc
jeez how fast are these supposed to flow? I like this well enough but I feel this is still very much within its first arc, perhaps headed into the second as they leave the building enclosure that they were in. I do like the idea of chapter naming themes per arc, similar to something I want to do if I ever got off my ass and wrote.

>>24980544
navel gazing, has turned into one of those terms that I believe (most) people use because they think it sounds really decisive and knowledgeable. It reminds me of the "let that sink in" cheap rhetorical trick. It's artificial profundity and it's become a pseud regular tool. Show dont tell, is getting onto that list now too. WhIle I know navel gazing and show dont tell have actual definitions, they are becoming hallmarks of people trying to sound like more of an authority than they really are in many cases.

>>24980599
simmer down freud
I really don't see it as indicative of anything other than the writer having a functional hormonal system. there's probably a line their commissions could cross where I'd agree with you but these pin ups aren't past that

>>24980607
most authors with female main characters aren't paying artists to make illustrations with their character's ass shoved into the viewer's face
speaking of freud

>>24980595
Gooning refers to excessive, long-time edging (over two hours) with multiple videos of porn and constant overstimulation which can become a masturbation addiction.
Gooning videos feature rapid cuts between different scenes to keep novelty high and disorient the gooner. VR headsets are commonly used but not necessary.
If still images are used they are flashed at subliminal speeds for the same purpose.
Any still image, even a sexualized one, is not "gooner."

>surely you've noticed that what I'm actually talking about is purposefully commissioning pics with your mc's ass hanging out and taking up a third of the artwork
So what? The character is hot and written that way. Why do you care so much?

>Really not applicable. You can have a big tits curvy figure character draw with big tits and a curvy figure, but are you SERIOUSLY conflating that with the images on display here? engage me in good faith man
Now I'm confused. Do you think anything that's not "safe horny" is "gooner?"
You know you have to be 18 to post on 4chan, even the blue boards, right?

>>24980599
Retard

somehow having all of you replying to me and disagreeing or missing the point is just making me more certain you're all gooners who fetishize your characters
web novels for this feel?

>>24980602
>getting onto
has been for years. probably the instant the phrase passed from speaker to listener
he's (rightly) calling it navel gazing because the behavior is entirely self concerned. and to clarify that since people do use the term in bad faith, replying to someone without acknowledging what they're saying or, in many cases, without having any relation to what they're saying at all is definitely self concerned to the point of being anti-social. i.e navel gazing

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>>24980614
Factually incorrect statement.
GOOD MARKETERS are doing exactly that.
A character you write isn't your wife bro

>>24980567
cool a real conversation. while writing I read my own work. Even I (the writer?) get lost sometimes and its not clear which person said that and I wrote the fucking thing. Usually happens when its more than a coupe lines of dialogue. They can only use the other's name so many times so often, so I try to save it for when it might be ambiguous. Any time I repeat a word I try to change it. Rephrase, vocabulary choice, it varies. But I agree I think some people like to drop in a word like elucidate just because. I'm starting to not like certain dialogue formatting styles. I want dialogue only, not mixed with prose.

>>24980627
harem litrpg stories are all MMC

>>24980600
aren't the chapters pretty long? might effect the sense of pace. I didn't have a problem with the pacing except for one later arc which dragged
>>24978302
>I feel that there were too many characters immediately introduced for me to keep up with, or care about.
I get that. it does a merry band thing where it dumps the main cast on the reader and develops them later. let yourself forget about them. the iconic qualities of the characters should stick, then they all get their own moments of development that rounds them out. the main cast is pretty distinct and individual
>I may take some pictures tomorrow
do it

>>24980581
>review swaps
My mistake. Quid pro quo it is then. Same functional reason though.

>>24980629
Sounds like you need to work on giving each character a unique voice (word choices, grammar, etc).

>>24980536
nice over-drawn sketch outline

>>24980633
Yeah I guess so? They're about 4k words apiece. Things like "chapter" and "word" length stopped meaning things to me long ago.

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>>24980595
>purposefully commissioning pics with your mc's ass hanging out and taking up a third of the artwork
That is what a pinup is yes

to be clear i am akaso but i am not >>24980586

>>24980614
I made a patreon to fund various commissions as a reward for readers
pinups make a minority of these commissions, the vast majority are straight illustrations primarily to visualize character designs or scenes (picrel is a scene piece and meant to show how the raven summon comes out of her stomach)

In an attempt to make you understand my perspective, I will explain myself like this:

I wholeheartedly believe that out of "cool", "indimidating", "elegant," and "sexy", a character design should be at least two things, and at least three if at all possible. Sex appeal in character design is just intrinsically tied to fantasy (tolkien or sci-fi whatever) in my head. Yes that includes male characters. If the characters aren't appealing, why bother?

>>24980624
>ah my retarded opinion is unpopular this must mean I am even more correct than I had previously thought and all of you are in fact [le bad thing]
ogey rrat

>>24980336
I know. Its fucking terrible isnt it

>>24979845
I'm just talking about the opening episode. I think it's very good for drawing in the viewer.

>>24980645
>That is what a pinup is yes
to simplify since you still don't get it:
most authors aren't commissioning pinups of their fmc. it's gooner-coded even if it isn't literally gooner, i'm clearly using that term as loose slang
desperately falling back onto the term 'pinup' changes nothing about how much you sexualize your main character
i don't want to read about fmcs the obviously male author is lusting over. this is not a minority opinion. if you think otherwise you've just cultivated a niche audience and deluded yourself

>>24980629
try just outright dropping the dialogue tags. in the majority of cases, the function of the dialogue and the voice of the characters should render them redundant. I think dialogue tags are best use for effect rather than clarification. if the intent of your dialogue needs to be clarified with dialogue tags to be properly misunderstood then something is very wrong (in regards to the tone. tagging a line to its corresponding speaker is a normal thing to have to clarify)
>I (the writer?) get lost sometimes and its not clear which person said that
don't commit to any edits if you start glazing while reading back your work. I sorta get the sentiment, but that you're feeling this way either indicates that your writing is sloppy or that you're losing focus. in either case there's an underlying issue that'll mangle your writing if you're editing

>>24978308
Yeah, but if they're not transmigrated then they would know how the world works. There's no discovery to be had.

>>24980323
>>reply doesn't directly extend from the previous topic
>>follows a parallel train of thought without communicating that you've moved topics
>>no effort to include the rest of the discussion in what you have to say at all
where is the sticky on your post topic style rules. Its called adding to the conversation. whether a parallel or even tangentially related topic, most anons just skip over what they aren't personally interested in. The personal nature of your irritation is the dead giveaway you have some kind of off odd personality components. The slang term for people like you in a large work enterprise, is a pain in the ass. he more technical term is persistent self importance. Your own personal preferences are not blanket mandates. It comes off as some sort of mild narcissism, desu

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>>24980656
Gooner is such an extreme phrase it cannot be used as "loose slang" to refer to pinups or mild expressions of sexuality.
There's literally nothing wrong with sexualized depictions of female characters, nor with the author commissioning such things. Considering you're wagging your finger at one of the most successful /wng/ers, your opinion means jackshit until you post your fiction and are more successful than him.
Meanwhile Amazon is awash in sexualized characters on every cover.
You're right, not every author is making sexualized artwork of their female characters. All the SUCCESSFUL ones are.

>>24980656
>it's gooner-coded even if it isn't literally gooner
>[I personally interpret it to be something that it isn't]
dude. multiple people are disagreeing with you
you can't just rely on an indefinite cultural subtext as justification for declaring your opinion de facto, especially when the people you're talking to don't agree
are you an anti-sex zoomer or something? you're probably in some sort of prudish bubble that exaggerates the significance of sex
a pin up is not that big of a deal and doesn't communicate that the author is lusting over their character, or that they're some problematic sex obsessed gooner or some shit

>>24980308
>Who asked?
no one has to PM you for permission to share their thoughts, nor do anons need wait to be personally and pointedly asked.

I need a guide on dialogue grammar. Every WN I read handles it in their own way and I never paid any attention to that shit back when I read tradpub.

All my female characters are ones I'd want to fuck so I don't see the problem DESU

>>24980664
>The slang term for people like you in a large work enterprise, is a pain in the ass. he more technical term is persistent self importance. Your own personal preferences are not blanket mandates
are you or are you not one of the retards that shits irrelevant blogposts onto random questions and opinions?
fess up to your crimes

>>24980669
genuinely just don't worry about it 5head
as long as it's more or less correct to a basic extent and is more or less internally consistent within your novel it won't be an issue

>>24980661
I wrote a native fantasy where the MC was unable to finish his training and had to experiment on his own in the wilderness to learn how to do things. So there can be discovery of how the setting works even if they were born there.

No reason you can't write an urban fantasy where a kid fucks around in his dad's chemistry shed and stumbles upon all kinds of interesting compounds, even though IRL one would expect to learn such things in school or on the internet.

>>24980666
good post

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>>24980656
>a_look_of_giving_sympathy_to_a_retard.jpg

>>24980673
are you are you not one of the self appointed anons who demand everyone do things their exact preferred way. Have a melty and entertain us.

>>24980669
"Dialogue," said A.
"But, dialogue!" said B.
A actioned. "Dialogue."
"Dialogue," B said, actioning.
"Dialogue," A said while actioning.
"Dialogue?"
"Dialogue!"
"Dialogue," said A. "Continuing dialogue."

Need anything else?

>>24980686
>!" said
>lower case after an exclamation mark
No way fag.

>>24980675
Would that work with cultivation though? I don't want the story to start with MC in qi gathering. That tends to be boring and predictable.

>>24980665
>one of the most successful /wng/ers
dude that is not any kind of flex whatsoever. akaso is not a success case, this thread's standards are just in the dirt. is he even in the top 100 fmc stories of the already super niche website?
>Meanwhile Amazon is awash in sexualized characters on every cover.
No, it fucking isn't??? Not for FMCs? Name some???

>>24980666
>dude. multiple people are disagreeing with you
when it comes to 4chan that is not proof of anything, you serious? I've never seen such a constant barrage of retarded and bizarre opinions as what we get here
>are you an anti-sex zoomer or something?
I really, really am not. It just makes me feel gross when the author is clearly making a waifu out of their fmc. I am 100% positive this is how most readers of fmc feel. 4chan users are not representative

>>24980686
>"Dialogue," said A. "Continuing dialogue."
REEEEEEEEE
THERE SHOULD BE A COMMA AFTER THE TAG IN THE CASE OF AN INTERJECTED DIALOGUE TAG

>>24980692
im 100% positive of the opposite
*high-fives stage hand*
*turns out around and walks away*
heh... owned...

>>24980689
Yes, actually. The interrobang doesn't end the sentence when it's part of the dialogue.

"But, dialogue!" said B.
"But, dialogue!" Said B.

Bottom is incorrect. Go look in any tradpub book right now.
>"But, dialogue!" said B.
Is the entire sentence. It's not two sentences, it's one.

"But, dialogue!" said B!
Above is also wrong, unless the entire thing is an exclamation, and very rarely is this so. Use this with the utmost caution, and avoid it otherwise.

>>24980698
yeah when it comes to topics like this, that's how it goes. hardly any way to prove it

>>24980699
I'm not doing that. That's retarded. Fuck tradpubbers.

>>24980692
Can't speak for WNs but it's pretty common in Japanese media for the heroine to blatantly be the author's waifu and nobody cares

>>24980693
On further review, sometimes. If the sentence of dialogue is split by the tag, yes. If a new sentence starts after the tag, full stop.

"Dialoguing and," said C, "more dialoguing."
"Dialogue," said C. "Another dialogue."

>>24980692
>triple question marks
>"X makes me feel gross"
>"my opinion is definitely the consensus"
you don't belong here, not because you are retarded
go back, niggerfaggot and/or trannoid

>>24980705
>Can't speak for WNs
>but for trashy japanese shit...
wow absolutely riveting interjection to the WN thread, i had no idea animeshit focuses on waifus
>>24980708
has a meltie because i insulted 4channers and pointed out they are the minority, schizo population and not representative of most RR readers
you DO belong here

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>>24980712
I don't even know where to start with this post.

>>24980704
that's just how english works broski
the capitalization in the case of dialogue tags is following the logic of the narration being an extension of the dialogue, not of breath or flow. the dialogue tag is uncapitalized because the dialogue is closing with the end of the tag, not the end of the quotation
>"Dialogue," said B.
and
>"Dialogue!" said B.
are functionally the same grammatically speaking
since it's creative writing you can do whatever you want. so long as you're internally consistent within the same story, you can just hand wave basically anything as style

>>24980715
you haven't been able to string together coherent thoughts from the start, no shit

>>24980717
Alright man, better luck next time.

>>24980712
...you're posting on 4chan?
and you're putting out dumb, bad faith arguments and chain replying about dumb shit that doesn't matter. y'know. having a melty?
I guess if you were self aware you wouldn't be going off like this in the first place

>>24980721
>you wouldn't be going off like this in the first place
ironically i purposefully kept myself from 'going off' until all three of you retards started slinging insults and having melties yourselves
but I guess if you were self aware you wouldn't be going off like this in the first place

>>24980712
holy newfag

>>24980724
you're gonna feel so embarrassed when you're heart rate comes down and your blood pressure lowers

>>24980727
lol does your heart seriously pump when you get into internet fights?

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>>24980692
Anyone who has actually read my work would be able to tell that what you accuse me of is just plainly not the case, but you've clearly decided to just dig your heels in, so there's no point to attempting to actually convince you, the only path remaining for this conversation is to convince any onlookers, which I believe you've done admirably by repeatedly insisting on your points and just repeating the same thing like a broken record despite being refuted.
There is significantly more gear/gun porn in Cherno Caster than there are descriptions of Krahe's appearance.

>>24980724
Come on man, surely you're smart enough to know this sort of thing doesn't work here. Also three is an underestimation, I think.

>>24980731
>Eye censor
Is this an f anon reference?

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>>24980734
no i just think it looks cool, this is an ad i ran in early 2024

>>24980736
>no i just think it looks cool
you're f anon in spirit

>>24980737
don't put that evil on him
it can be a fine aesthetic

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i commission artworks of my characters. I think the artwork should fit the character. If the character is designed to be sexy for whatever reason a sexy artwork is fitting. Sexy artwork of characters that aren't really written that way feels off to me. If the writing is that way I think it is fine to present the characters that way. In fact you should.

>>24980729
>lol does your heart seriously pump when you get into internet fights?
I sometimes get a coffee and enjoy it

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>>24980692
>>are you an anti-sex zoomer or something?
>I really, really am not. It just makes me feel gross
You 100% are. Just own it that you're a prude.

>No, it fucking isn't??? Not for FMCs? Name some???
Beneath the Dragon Eye Moons, and I know you'll throw a fit, but Song of the Gift Giver's side girls have had a pinup of them since day one.

>>24980725
>holy newfag
what happened to the good old days when you could just demand a tri-force or they were a newfag.

>>24980764
triforcing became a meme so any newfag can just google how to do it now

The game at carousel is so annoying man. It could easily be one of the best ever web sloppas but the author just refuses to put more than the bare minimum into the characters.
I've kept reading in hope that he does but he obviously just has no intention of doing it. When the scenario is good that's okay, but when it's just iffy it becomes a huge slog. I think I've gotta let it go.

>>24980757
if it's appropriate, it's appropriate
if the author of Int is My Dumpstat commissioned anything but bimbo porn I'd be aghast

>>24980767
what's the appeal of this one? I've seen it pop up on RR when searching horror but haven't looked at it since it's stubbed

>>24980761
BTDEM actually was what came to mind as an exception, but I despise that shitty story and I think he's a godawful writer. His new story proves it. By far the biggest flop I've ever seen from such a massively successful author. Even that one anon who was a fan of BTDEM somehow still thought Song was shit
Ravensdagger is the other exception, btw. Same opinion.
Go down the list of the top FMC stories on RR. Huge majority don't grossly fetishize their characters, and the few who do are the especially shitty authors.

fetishfics are the next trend

>>24980778
If you want to be so insistent I'll just give you a free copy of cherno vol.1 and you can judge for yourself big man

>>24980789
You had like six months on Royalroads front page and still performed like shit. How the fuck are you trying to flex

Other than it being a unique twist on the "death game LITRPG" thing, the worldbuilding is its strongest point. The author obviously fleshed out a lot before starting the story.

>>24980772
>>24980798

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>>24980795
I'm not trying to flex. The book is stubbed, so naturally someone who already doesn't like it wouldn't buy it. Therefore, if I want to call someone out through "ok so read it and see for yourself" I have to offer a means to facilitate that.

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>>24980778
are you the same guy who is grossed out about by an author commissioning a pin up?
are you changing your post style between posts?

>>24980808
It's obviously the same guy, you don't even need to point it out, it's clear as day to anyone with eyes to see.

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>tfw sky pride author goes on another philosophy ramble for 20 chapters
why does he think people want to read this, just put the dao in the bag my bluddington

>>24980806
>Therefore, if I want to call someone out through "ok so read it and see for yourself" I have to offer a means to facilitate that.
reread >>24980778 and tell me how calling me out by telling me to read your shitty ass massively mediocre story makes sense
my post was entirely about general trends and the shitty big authors (and you definitely aren't a big author) that are the exception

>>24980811
it's very weird behavior to change capitalization and paragraph formatting between posts
to those who do that: don't do that. it's weird

>>24980808
>>24980811
do you two seriously think I was trying to hide as a different anon? wtf. it was clearly a direct reply, i have no respect for you morons, i'm not trying to hide my identity somehow
this is the level of intelligence on this board

>>24980818
you fuckers really pay attention to how you write to try to make it clear you're a specific poster? that's one step short of tripfagging. just write however the fuck you want what the fuck, being anon is the whole point

my litrpg is set in world where people are nice to each other on the internet and people try to out-nice each other to level up and become the nicest internet person.

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>>24980819
if it's clear that it's you then why are you doing it

>>24980827
i just told you, you dumb fucking retard. i type however i feel at the moment. if you want me to analyze my own posting habits because you're obsessed with breaking anonymity, if I'm writing a longer, more serious post, I start using punctuation and capitalization. but not necessarily. again: however the fuck I feel like at the time

>>24980816
>>24980731
>Anyone who has actually read my work would be able to tell that what you accuse me of is just plainly not the case
you pointedly ignored this entire post
of course i don't actually expect you so much as glance sidelong at my writing to avoid even the remote possibility your imagined strawman of me might be proven wrong
also (insert generic insult here) doesn't work, come on, you're not even trying

>le grossly fetishize
>le shitty this shitty that
see I can tell that I really should just not take your opinion seriously because you type how idubbbz speaks after he got brain damaged from boxing and adderall abuse but i'm still engaging because i'm bored

>>24980832
>you pointedly ignored this entire post
I "ignored" this part because I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR STORY YOU DUMB CUNT. Stop bringing up your fucking awful writing as if it's some sort of gotcha. no I'm not going to read your shit to see that "actually you're not a gooner!"
The few counter examples of popular fmc stories (selkie and ravensdagger) that sexualize their main characters are the authors I genuinely think are the shittiest in royalroad's fmc space

here you go, let me repeat the only part of this entire discussion I care about, since you clearly need hand holding:
>The few counter examples of popular fmc stories (selkie and ravensdagger) that sexualize their main characters are the authors I genuinely think are the shittiest in royalroad's fmc space
respond to that you dumb retard

Almost a whole 50% of the thread so far has been dedicated to this weird anti-goon melty on 4chins of all places

Whelp it turns out I reached the end of my rope with these energy drinks. I have a big-time sinus infection and can't take caffeine since I need quality sleep. So now I basically can't write. I got three weeks to write up twenty chapters for my launch...
Pray for me

it's not even anti goon, i'm not anti sex, i just don't like reading about male authors blatantly jerking their dick to their main character

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>>24980840
>waah waah waah u le write le bad me no care about le badman bad story etc etc
I accept your confession of not actually having a real basis for anything you accuse me of, and of the fact this entire exchange has just been one protracted neopuritan sperg fit on your part based solely on the existence of pinup art of an action protagonist.

In fact just to honor you, I'll add another pinup to my commission queue.

El mao.

>>24980818
But how can I pretend to be someone else that agrees with me otherwise?

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>>24980857
as much as I like the format, anonymous imageboards can really be dictated by one retard
almost 3 hours of this and I have no doubt he'd do this all day if someone would engage with him through it
on the upside there has been actual discussion happening. readers and writers both discussing recent reads and craft stuff. shit show it may seem, but this has been a high quality thread for /wng/

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>>24980860
>"i just don't like reading about male authors blatantly jerking their dick to their main character"
>ok but that's not what the novel is at all
>"REEE I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR SHITTY MID DOG ASS HECKIN UNWHOLESOME CHUNGUS GOONER NOVEL"

>>24980865
as one of the rare retards willing to associate with this place i kinda respected you, but that's been lost entirely
and yes, i know you don't care, just like I don't care
but now I don't feel bad for telling you that it's truly baffling how godawful you performed with that moonquill contract. no clue where this confidence comes from. it's not even like you are some strange success case despite how niche you are. you perform bad even for being niche

>>24980860
>people stop replying
>drops another post to try and bait replies
write something. read. anything but this god damn
how have you not calmed down yet. go breathe for a minute

>>24980865
this is the level of retardation that supports you >>24980871

>>24980874
>>24980872
>>24980860
>>24980840
least obvious samefag on the planet
inb4 screenshot with the (You)s inspect element edited out

>>24980873
wrong. >>24980860 was a response to >>24980857
nice desperate attempt at a narrative though.

you will never reach the peak of being nice to people if you keep posting like that, anon-kun.

>>24980878
WTF? I am not samefagging at ALL. are you retards really this stupid? you are blowing my mind
those were all me you DUMB CUNTS
what the FUCK you people are stupid

>>24980881
I can't wait to catch up on my current read so I can tell all my peers and friends on /wng/ about it?

>>24980879
>a response to
you have to click on the post number to reply

>>24980885
you doth protest too much for a non-falseflagging non-samefag

not really. in slow threads responses are obvious

Keep in mind this entire shitshow started because our resident touristard here thought an ass shot pinup equals gooner author who literally wants to fuck his MC a-la Rent-a-Girlfriend or something

i am literally the only person in this thread with this opinion, have admitted it, and i'm still being spammed with samefag accusations
keep confirming my disdain of you

>>24980886
thank you

i am literally the only person in this thread

Are you NIGGERS still fighting over le gooner shit?

>>24980895
>keep confirming my disdain of you
Who cares?

Really we need more pinup art to drive away normalfags and gatekeep webnovels as hard as possible.
Look at what they did to anime and vidya and tradpub.

>>24980892
half the times a dumb opinion gets a contradicting response we get a thread melty, and I doubt we have many posters pathetic enough to do the constant post reformatting falseflags
pretty sure he isn't a tourist but a regular
his obsession with the us vs them against 4chan users is very strange though

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>>24980906

>>24980905
nobody. read >>24980872
>and yes, i know you don't care, just like I don't care

>>24980906
Lolis are better for this.

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>>24980895
Ok? You've made it abundantly clear that you've already decided you hate me and my work and will never give it the time of day, why should I give a shit

>>24980904
you know what fair point let's talk about fun passages from what we've read recently

What's everybody's favorite loli MC webnovel?

>>24980918
>Ok? You've made it abundantly clear that you've already decided you hate me and my work and will never give it the time of day, why should I give a shit
stop making it about you, you narcissist
I'm talking about trends and you DESPERATELY need it to be about you

>>24980919
crow and the rabbit

>>24980923
>"keep confirming my disdain of you"
>insert >>24980918
>"hurrdurr stop making this about yourself"
by god I hope you're pretending to be retarded
if not, god willing, your line ends with you

>>24980918
He didn't say "spare me" at the start though

>>24980926
it baffles me you think that is related

>>24980927
probably a translation issue but the idea of getting around flying sword vocal summon requirements like that was interesting to me

>>24980926
>pointing out the logical disjunctions of a poster that hasn't made a single coherent point in 3 hours
you both just want to rage reply for the sake of it
cease

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>>24980906
My cover art is going to be a girl with huge tits and showing a lot of cleavage, with a dialogue box that says "I'm 16 years old"

>>24980935
Impressive but totally violates RR's TOS.
Funny enough I dunno about Amazon's. They have no quality control you'd probably get away with it for a while.

>>24980932
you're right that i'm just replying to amuse myself, and I really SHOULD stop poking the metaphorical dead cat

>>24980935
it'll be a hit on scribblehub and/or webnovel

>>24980918
I keep passages saved from literary work for study but I've never done it for slop
probably should since I've read a few lines that have made me stop and appreciate them

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>>24980949
I like seeing sloppers make meta commentary on the nature of slopping.

>>24978743
>Inactive
>For two years
I also vuagely remember trying to get into a couple of years back when it was active but the pov changes in the first couple of chapters killed my rebirth boner.

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>>24980924

>>24980939
What if the dialogue box says "I'm 18 years old" and in very tiny, almost translucent letters it says "minus two"
Could I get away with it?

>>24980919
Tanya.

>>24980957
my wife

>>24980960
RR's TOS is pozzed and tits cannot be a primary focus of the ad/cover, even fully clothed.
I /think/ if you have her holding a big sword that's overly detailed you might be able to get away with it.

>>24980953
I haven't decided if I'm interested in reading it but if you like meta commentary/awareness maybe you'd like this?
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/126557/margin-walker-literary-litrpg-dungeon-crawler?review=2773119

>>24980965
we gotta go back to the days of rape fics

Shit flinging stops
Thread goes dead silent
Every single one of you pretends you're above it but none of you are interested in calm, insightful discourse. There's a reason that anons post inflammatory bait. It's all that get (You)s
If you participated at all in the abomination above, you are the problem. Yes. (You).

>>24981020
my only excuse is that I don't participate in shitflinging often or regularly
which is also why I don't post here often or regularly because of how easily anything and everything descends in that direction

>>24980860
What does that even mean? If you're a man you may not write about anything sexual with your female characters because it's rape?

>>24980902
I like it when people post one-post (3k characters) writing samples from a recent chapter they're working on, no links just a spot check of their work. we don't do it enough.

>>24981020
sometimes people don't have anything to talk about
it's a thread, not a job. you don't have to be manning it 24/7. let it go quiet sometimes
>It's all that get (You)s
every on-topic post got replies, most of them constructive and engaged even
personally what activates my almonds are retards that are too stupid to engage in conversation and assassinate actual discussion. if (you) don't have a clue then shut the fuck up and don't contribute an opinion when people are talking. or at the very least ask a question if you don't understand instead of asserting whatever inane shit that pops into (you)r head

She had been a worthy companion, a shrewd investigator, a fearless fighter, a thoughtful tactician, and a relentless negotiator. There were times, deep in that dungeon, where I would feel a pang of relief when her raven hair came into view, her silver spear dripping with the ichor of her latest kill. "Too easy" she would say, no matter how many fresh scrapes and dents her armor accumulated.
"Are you disappointed to be alive, young one?" I would say, openly contemptuous as all wizards should be.
"No, you waste your mana empowering me. My strength was enough."
She wasn't wrong, but I had mana to spare. I could have cleared the room with a whisper; watching her work was far better. I wasn't the only one who enjoyed my companion. Others would gawk at her exposed navel, her firm breasts, the way her battle skirt would hitch up as she prepared for another attack, and that was partially the point. With her by my side, I garnered not the respect of men, but the awe. Hers was a face shaped for resting ones eyes upon. Her eyes glinted between shrewd gray and enchanting blue depending on the light, and her lips were always promising some sweet seduction, or insolence depending on her mood.
Around others she played the character well, and reaped the rewards just as much as I did. However, when we were alone, in the candlelit privacy of a warm inn, or sulking in the shadows of some ancient ruin, she knew to only speak when spoken to. A talent learned by most weak women, and one reviled by the headstrong and beautiful. This one was a true maiden, a true servant to her wizard master. My words were golden wisdom's to be valued, hers were impertinent at best.
Without me she would falter, be beaten back, fall in battle. A heroic death to protect some nameless innocent from some generic threat. Her tale might be whispered of amongst peasantry after a few beers to stave off the boredom, but it would end as all heroe's tales do. With death. With me, her tale would never end. At least, not until I grew bored of her. So while she battled goblin and ogre with ease, the true battle for her worth was pleasing me, and oh how she pleased me.

>>24981029
excerpt posting is soulful
anons sharing something they wrote
/wg/ truly died when they stopped doing it
our closest equivalent are tourists and newfags insecurely posting their chapter 1s
that being said I prefer when it's in screenshots. people dropping a paragraph of writing just feels like someone taking a dump in the thread

>>24980823
we also have anons who try to police every /wng/. you did this you did that you did the other, you have to post like *this*. its fucking annoying. your post is too long. your post is too short. thats wall of text, but if you paragraph it they screech reddit spacing.whatever is worse than annoying is what it is. its not them doing it, its the whining.

>>24980781
>fetishfics are the next trend
where. RR doesnt allow erotica. I can guarantee you wattpad deletes anything someone reads and says its too sex heavy.

>>24981044
this doesn't happen
the closest thing is people calling tina an attention whore for avatarfagging via formatting. which would be accurate
point to a single example of this happening

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162 KB JPG

>>24981049

>>24981050
>SOURCE???

>>24981036
I would continue reading this

There is an entire subsection of mega based webnovels that mostly exist only on webnovel and various obscure sites because they're written by like, ESL Russians, who don't give a fuck about adhering to EN site rules

>>24981054
we're past bump limit. surely if hits happens every /wng/ you can point to literally one instance this thread or last
>makes things up
>grrrrr don't question me
ok retard

>>24981059
I've seen mention that russians love webnovels but nobody ever talks about their scene at all
I don't know a single russian webnovel

>>24981059
have you dumb niggers never heard of Scribblehub? Full of literal porn

>>24981051
boobs bait on the cover.where is this what site.

>>24981109
RR
it was on rising stars for a bit too