A man without love is like sleep without dreamUnrequited love is the nightmareSee yond that setting sunThat is where I hang my dreams
>>24983697there's plenty of fish in the sea,so get over yourself, dear OP
>>24983697You can't rhyme dream with dreams. And why is there a sunset now? You were talking about dreams you're mixing metaphors.
>>24983697A bucko without a fuckois like the sexo without suckoMe loves she, so whydon't she love I?
>>24983697>>24983708>You can't rhyme dream with dreams.My guess would be OP has recently read "He Wishes For The Clothes Of Heaven" and thinks that if it’s good enough for W. B. Yeats it’s good enough for him.>And why is there a sunset now? You were talking about dreams you're mixing metaphors.No, that bit is fine. The setting sun is what happens when day ends and night starts and you go to sleep. So he's saying, when the sun sets, he hangs his dreams on the sun, the way you might hang your clothes, because he won't be needing his dreams during the night, because he doesn't dream, because he doesn't have love (the implication being, he has deliberately cut himself off from it to avoid nightmares).The main problem with the piece is that the first two lines are just bad — clunky, prosaic and not all that convincing. Is a loveless life really like a dreamless sleep? A "dreamless sleep" is often felt to be an untroubled and refreshing one; i.e. not a bad thing at all. When your first two lines are weak, you are not in a good place, because even if the subsequent ones are OK, no-one is going to read them.
>>24983697Weird. I have love but I never dream when I sleep, I just go black out unconscious for eight hours, it's great. Dreams and nightmares? Yeah, I'll pass, but you do you.
>>24983697Our thoughts hold hands as we dance to the rhythm of our memories.Our hearts breathlessly whisper to eachother.A place without words.The clock chimes.The light fades.Forever departed.Love is not enough.
>>24983820good
