>>25007242
>They say she is no more,
that there her absence roars,
Where is 'there'? I like the idea of an absence or lack of something 'roaring'. It's like a thunderous silence or something similar but that doesn't excuse the reference to a place that is then not named or expanded upon.
>Blood-blown like a rose.
Are roses known to be blood-blown? This simile doesn't make sense unless I am missing a specific reference or context to something. Or is this a continuation of the last line and the comparison is between the rose and her absence (ie: both of them roar blood-blown). In either case I don't follow the simile.

>Iced wheel flinched & froze
I think this is nonsense because she wanted to incorporate I.C.E. Or is THIS the simile comparing the rose to the iced wheels? I cannot understand how wheels could flinch. I can imagine wheels stuttering (like slamming down the brake pedal with ABS) or slurring or meandering or freezing or skidding, but I cannot really understand what wheels 'flinching' would evoke.
>Now, bare riot of candles,
>Dark fury of flowers,
>Pure howling of hymns.
I guess the point here is the contrast of peaceful, calm subjects (candles, flowers, hymns) with violent actions (riot, fury, howling). I think there should have been an alliteration in the first of these three lines as the three are obviously connected and it's silly to have only two of the three linked lines have alliteration.

>If for us she arose
Again, I feel that 'if' requires something akin to a 'then' to justify its existence here. I don't know where the payoff to the conditional introduced in the first line here is but it certainly doesn't appear to be in the rest of this stanza at least.
>Somewhere, in the pitched deep of our grief,
>Crouches our power,
>The howl where we begin
I think it's tacky to repeat 'howl' here given that there isn't really any meaningful repetition elsewhere in the poem (other than 'angels' I guess).
>Straining upon the edge of the crooked crater
>Of the worst of what we've been
I like this image. I would probably include a verb at the beginning of that last line personally (eg., "Looking down on the worst of what we've been") but I have no strong aversion to how Gorman wrote these last two lines.

>>25007577
>Change is only possible,
>& all the greater,
Given that change is ONLY possible as Gorman describes, a form of [lesser] change that does not involve the labour of neighbors being moved by love etc... is not possible.
>When the labor
>& bitter anger of our neighbors
I think this is suggesting that bitter anger of neighbors is a bad thing. (I assume this poem is anti-ICE rhetoric and calls out people who report their neighbors as illegals). If this is the case it seems somewhat hypocritical because 'bitter anger' feels pretty in line with the 'bare riot' and 'dark fury' that is expressed by the good guys in the first stanza.
>Is moved by the love
>& better angels of our nature
I feel that this would work better if the subject was the neighbors themselves and not the anger and labour that was moved by angels.

>What they call death & void,
>We know is breath & voice;
I would love to know why Gorman used a semi-colon for this line and only this line.
>In the end, gorgeously,
>Endures our enormity.
I think this is worded awkwardly. It feels more natural to suggest that it is a gorgeous thing that our enormity endures rather than suggesting that the enormity endures in a gorgeous way. I could be argued against this perspective though, it's not as egregious as my criticisms above.

>You could believe departed to be the dawn
I don't know if this is technically wrong but it sure feels like a tense disagreement with that 'be'. "You could believe the dawn to be departed" might be correct but "You could believe the dawn to have departed" feels more correct. The syntax changes here feel like they do not add anything meaningful making me question why it was done in the first place.
>When the blank night has so long stood.
I think the use of past tense here further supports the use of 'has' or 'have' in the previous line. If the blank night has been around for a long time you would think the dawn had departed quite a while ago.
>But our bright-fled angels will never be fully gone,
I like the phrase 'bright-fled'.
>When they forever are so fiercely Good.
Ending on a pun is extremely cringe.

Overall the poem lacks any consistent meter and a lot of syntactical choices seem arbitrary as does the punctuation.

The message behind the poem is your standard 'shit sucks but brave strong women of color are always fighting and standing up for true righteousness and change through the power of love' which is both fake and gay.

It's like a solid 6/10 and shouldn't do well in any sort of poetry class at a high-school level or above.

>>25007577
Dude give her a break she's just a stupid nigger. At least she's not rapping.

>>25007242
i am stunned. a masterwork that just may change the conversation

>>25007242
I don't care what that dumb lady did, no one deserves to have a poem written about them by Amanda Gorman.

>>25007242
ohnonono "niggas" of /lit/, our response?

She was awfully silent all this time about Gaza

>>25008052
She wouldn't dare challenge her masters.