What is some good literature for when I want to end my life? I am currently reading PKD, Kafka, DFW, and might get into some Camus. I've tried suicide twice.
>>25124585Maybe try "the sorrows of young werther"And if you wanna refrain from suicide watch some suicide gores. It just looks incredibly stupid to die on your own.
>>25124585neetzuh
>>25124585Suicide by edouard levéBut don’t do it. Just keep going. I’m rooting for you, anon.
I grew up in an abusive setting, with a father who was an alcoholic and methhead, with a mother who used to force me to piss myself in publicAnd I think it has affected me to the point I became an alcoholic onceAnd now I have no outlet, I think my emotions have become suppressedI hate my life and wish I would just disappear I have paranoid schizophrenia, generalized anxiety disorder, and PTSD
>>25124585Van Gogh's letters>>25124629I understand the feeling. I have schizophrenia as well. I've had it for seven years. I've undergone multiple traumatic events as a child also but my experiences were very different to yours. Childhood medical trauma and some sexual abuse when I was 12. I drinking dependency that comes and goes. I tried to jump in front of a train when I was 16. I'm 23 now. I dream of being 50. A veteran of the psychiatric wars. Living a quiet life.Thread themehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5YStOo2mpMI'll give it all up someday
>>25124585I wanted to kill myself, but then I started reading post-COVID era italian litfics.I'm not even half as depressed as these new author, and they are still alive.
>>25124585>>25124811I think the equivalent to it is dirty realism, or grunge lit, or obscene hyperrealism.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grunge_litCheck 'em.
Mainlander of course. 4:48 psychosis by Sarah Kane reads like a suicide note and effectively ISAnd though it’s not explicitly literature. The visual novel Wonderful Everyday, has a chapter named Looking Glass Insects that almost sees suicide as a tragic release after the most abhorrent mistreatment.Despite these, I’m gonna make a contradictory statement, I implore that you not attempt it a third time, it’s not easy living, but if you can power through another day, then you can do the same for every subsequent day. Might as well see what happens next in life, out of curiosity eh?
You cannot be honest about suicide to others because it's illegal to encourage suicide.
>>25124867I must have a hefty case against me with the amount of times I’ve told people here to kill themselves
>>25124879There's a difference between telling someone to kill themselves as an insult and encouraging a genuinely suicidal person to commit suicide.
>>25124896I know, I was joking. But being honest about it anyway, I’d rather someone not commit suicide.
>>25124585Lmao this retard can't even kill himself what a little bitch
I know it sucks being forced into existence. Nobody here asked to be born either; by nature our sole purpose as human beings is the same as every other creature on Earth and that is to play our part in the ecosystem and keep the world alive. That is why we are born with a will to live. And it's irrational to think death is a bad thing as we don´t know what happens after it. Death is a part of life as much as living is.But humans are not wired to live happily in the conditions of modern society. We are currently far apart from our natural habitat and suffer the same symptoms as that of a caged animal. If you believe in what I say consider obtaining complete autonomy in fulfilling your basic needs- something resembling a primitive lifestyle. Those physical needs are more rewarding than artificial ones like pursuing art, a science career, etc. since they are only a product of industrial society with the purpose of escaping boredom and having ends to which our suffering is rewarded.
>>25124585I look down on people who've had suicide 'attempts'. Unless you get really unlucky, you'r'e not really trying.How'd yours fail?
>>25124991And while I am using technology to write this post, I've done so only as a rare occurrence since I'm not one to wander or web surf just to kill time. I only wrote that for the sake of making sense of my thoughts since I, too, struggle finding a reason to live.Everyone should refrain from consuming entertainment as they only serve to distract us form our problems and suppress our feelings of negativity. The same goes for any kind of recreational substance likes drugs and booze.
>>25124585
>>25124585i dont think many people are aware of the circumstances that led to wallace's suicide>be given extremely powerful, anti depressive drug from before anything was known about the brain>be wallace, quit all addictions>want to be completely clean, sober, and work with a clear mind, opt to quit this depressive drug>mind breaks down completely, sapped of any joy, incapable of creating more joy>try to get back on the drug which let you function at a level>it doesnt work anymore and your brain is irrevocably fuckedits extremely unlikely anyone will ever know what kind of stuff he was going through
>>25125966Have you ever had a panic attack? That feeling following the panic attack is usually worse, it’s a sort of dissociative experience of both being afraid of your own mind, being trapped inside it along with the hopeless depressive feeling that then accompanies it, completely distorting your entire world to the point even the presence of your loved ones acts not as a comfort blanket, but an exacerbating force. It’s literally dreadful, but also at that time feels like a dark tunnel with no light at the end, which is why killing oneself can be seen as the ONLY solution. I can imagine that’s probably what he felt like in his last days. Or perhaps not, I just know I’ve had some of the same experiences with drugs in the past
Leave it to /lit/ to be one of the few boards to have genuinely blackpilled threads as opposed to boo hoo tfw no gf coomer threads in every other board. Christ, you faggots are miserable.
>>25126009Its threads like this that just leave me feeling empty, hollow. I really have nothing, not even a true desire for death, its boring and uninteresting, like my life. But not even boring in a typical way, but also not boring in enough of an atypical way to feel that the typical conclusion could be different.I hope everybody here feeling bad, ends up feeling better for the rest of their lives. Better enough to never need to question whether to die or not. To never be pushed to self death by anything other than yourself. Not life.
>>>OH MY HECCIN' 1984!?! IS... IS THAT... IS THAT A TELEVISION WITH A REMOTE!? THIS MEANS PEOPLE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GET UP TO TURN ON THE FUCKING TV ANYMORE!? AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH, THIS IS LITERALLY THE END OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT, I CAN'T COPE, I MUST.... I MUST LE WRITE THE POSTMODERNISMS AND ROPE!!! Fuck off.
>>25124629How did you overcome the desire to exact revenge on your parents? Like how did you emotionally overcome that?
>>25126009They are not real people.They are demoralization bots.
>>25126009Time to move on.
Camus and DFW have already solved it. Meaning and silliness are inseparable survival mechanisms: the absurd is survivable, but only together. Find like-minded people to push that boulder.
IDK but maybe you can resonate with this letter i just sent to my local state government
>>25126174You write like an insufferable fag, I still had fun reading it anyway.
>>25126182>You write like an insufferable fag, I still had fun reading it anyway.Thanks. I've pretty much given up trying to write in any other register, apart from my other mode, the 'colloquial Australian', which I find most people disdain as equally insufferable, so I'll take this as an whole compliment, accepting the first clause as part and parcel of how my thoughts are generally regurgitated into language
>>25126200>so I'll take this as an whole complimentSo you should, that’s how 50% good writers read to me anyway.
>>25124811Id love to hear more about this tendency/movement. Anything in translation? I looked up picrel and will probably try to get the recent translation.
>>25124837Idk if it was you but some Anon here recommended Subahibi awhile back and whoever that was I’d like to say thank you
try some of these
>>25126458Maybe, I actually learned about it myself from here, I was apprehensive at first because it’s a Japanese porn game and I haven’t read a visual novel since I was 19 and I stopped because I thought they sucked. But I loved this, it felt like Gravity’s Rainbow written by Houellebecq; which is good because outside of the insanity of that book I wasn’t really into it, I love Houellebecq however. Here’s some other recs for you (assuming it was me who told you about this), Matthew Arnold’s Dover Beach I’m reading right now, it’s pretty solemn. anything by Zola, Germinal is his best. He liked to write pretty messed up characters who essentially live to suffer.
>>25126359None that I know.They are mostly from North Italy, which never wins anything, so no english publisher will pick them up.
Last one to make them three, if some Italian anon wants to read them.
>>25125966Hilarious. This is what is happening to me right now. A year of pain. The side effects persisted. I'm not OP but I think I'll end life next month, can't live with a broken dick and no feelings anymore. Not sure what to read before
Tractatus Logico-Suicidalis
>>25124585Osamu Dazai would be the undisputed king of this subgenre.
>>25126560very nice, ty anonDo you know of any other italian works along these lines? non-translated is fine
>>25124585there's a good argument in the latter part of this novel
>>25126662>can't live with a broken dick and no feelings anymore.sad. i think the former can be overcome, sex is overrated, I think the latter can be tolerated, substitute feeling, with values, or get into an argument with your mom/dad/sister/brother/friend, and formulate an entire value system predicated on how much she annoys you, or he dismisses you.then find people who can reinforce those values, without merely affirming them.>Not sure what to read beforeBook of The New Sun.Oreigaru. This one especially, is underrated.
>>25126923I hated Oreigairu (anime). I found it to be a generic romcom that took itself too seriously for what it was. Sex indeed is overrated. I never cared about sex, but I certainly cared about my libido, penis sensitivity and the occasional fap. The condition I suffer from, PSSD, is a hellish nightmare with no cure. It is difficult for me to integrate values because my brain chemistry is not that of a normal person and my cognitive abilities have diminished. I have a mental value system, but it is vague and it is difficult for me to see it clearly.>Book of The New Sun.Why? Never been into sci-fi, I prefer the other books mentioned in this thread. Might still read a few pages to see if it interests me.
>>25126989>I hated Oreigairu (anime). I found it to be a generic romcom that took itself too seriously for what it was.Unfortunately you're a genuine retard, your entire capacity for judgement is shallow and warped. I now understand why you want to kill yourself and why I struggle to care enough to so such.Sad. I couldn't imagine being satisfied existing in a capacity where I could miss all the depth of Oreigaru because I care more about overindexing on whether something fits the surface level arbitrary category of "romcom".
>>25127070To be fair I only watched the first season. The girls were boring, the main character tried too hard to be relatable to the viewer, there's a trap, unfunny humor... Don't act like it's some revolutionary work. Why don't you explain to me the genius of this series.
