Almost daily I realise how insignificant my life is, even if I disappear only my parents will search for a week. Reading itself is a very isolating hobby, let's be honest none of us are going to our local bookclub for nth reading of Alchemist. At the end of the day, I started reading to find some meaning in my life and to escape the instability that my parents sudden divorce bringed in my teenage mind. It started as a cute hobby but still I can't find anything that can give me the whole of truth. I realise now Ahab felt, sitting in the middle of ocean trying to force universe to spell out some answer, to proof that Moby dick was really a villain/sacred being plotting against him and not just a indifferent being who probably can't even perceive his being. But ultimately their is nothing beyond, All I can do is to delude myself into believing something, relive some stories with these characters. I am very bitter about it, I want some grand metaphysics to take blame for all my miseries, to free my psyche of burden of my failed life but I know every second even when I am trying to find the Truth, that there is none. All fragments which don't make any whole. But I still can't stop trying the find the whole.
>>25196753>I am very bitter about it, I want some grand metaphysics to take blame for all my miseries, to free my psyche of burden of my failed life but I know every second even when I am trying to find the Truth, that there is none. All fragments which don't make any whole. But I still can't stop trying the find the whole.Kant-sama is here little lehrling
>>25196753lucky.if I die hundreds of thousands to millions of enemies will celebrate endlessly while two or three family members could possibly show up, if any other family member show up would be an enemy making sure I was finally dead.
>>25196753The act of reading is solitary but that does not make it isolating and everyone needs some sort of solitary activity in their life or you will become another zombie staring at their phone. You are blaming literature for it failing to meet up to your ridiculous expectations. For the most part, you never get anymore out of life than you put in, and that includes reading, friendships, jobs, etc.
>>25197580Long time no see khammeni
>>25196753For me, art, music and literature all help me to feel less lonely since it shows that the themes and struggles of my life are universal. No matter how unique you think your problems are, there was a book written 100 years ago about them.
