I wrote a short story, 30 pages, 10k words, sci fi horror. It's deeply inspired by HP Lovecraft. The basic plot outline:>A team of scientists investigate a new potential fuel source near the center of the earth, but things go about as wrong as things couldLink>https://pastebin.com/4c2BV0xfI'm a novice writer, but I think this is my best work yet.
No, thanks
>>25231367i gave it a shot, but you open by essentially saying: 'nothing was happening and this character was very bored and was passing the time doing inconsequential stuff.' so obviously i gave up. if you're writing genre fiction then i recommend learning to write a good opening hook. the rest of the story may well be great, but i had no reason to read the rest of the story.
how do i increase the fontsize on pastebin my eyes cant take this
>>25231715zoom in, dude
>>25231367Not so bad you should give up writing. Not so good you need give up trying to get better.I disagree with the guy who that said the opening was boring because the woman was doodling etc. "Woman going down and down in a lift heading for the centre of the earth" is a fine opening. You just need to write it better.Mixing narrative (action plus characters' thoughts and feelings) with infodumping is harder than it looks. Two main strategies:— use narrative to raise a question which your infodump answers, thereby satisfying the reader's curiosity— use infodump to raise a concern (e.g. a danger ahead) which the narrative then addressesEither way you're using the one mode to whet the reader's appetite for the other mode which you then switch to. Michael Crichton is good at this.( Look at e.g. the scene in Congo where Karen Ross goes with Peter to visit Amy the gorilla.)
