Can someone a book(s) about how to become better at being social, holding a conversation, become better at small talk?I seen alot of people recommend Carnegie famous book pic related but if i understand it right it kinda tells you to be a pushover but also its more for business settings?
As someone who has been down this same path, Conversationally Speaking by Alan Garner is a good book. I haven't read How to Win Friends and Influence People but I think those kind of "how to become more fake and manipulate everyone you talk to" kind of books are actually bad advice and the opposite of what you want.Reading books about social skills can help you to have some "aha" moments but it's more just unlocking things you deep down knew all along. You are not going to get good at socialising by approaching social situations like it's a formula where you do 1, 2 and 3 from a book, but books can definitely help you internalise useful things if you get what I'm saying.The best social advice I can give you is to just approach every social situation with the aim to have fun. There is no formula. What you say to someone doesn't even need to logically follow on from the last thing that was said if you're changing the conversation to something that's more funny or interesting.
>>25236105How to Win Friends isn't necessarily for business settings. It was originally written for all people in all situations. It originally had a chapter about marriage, which got removed later. They wanted it to appear more to business man. The tips are still for all situations though. And it doesn't really tell you do be a pushover. The main point the book makes is to actually be interested in another person. Most of the tips from the book boil down to: nearly every conversation is just people wanting to show of how special/amazing they are. Old people want to talk about all their memories, colleagues about their beautiful vacations and knowledge about coffee, random guys about how insane their last party was, etc. This way you can pretty much always ask question and pretend to or actually be interested in them. Don't try to make it seem like you yourself are the most interesting person. This alone helped me immensely in conversations. I can hold a long conversation with random people in my company, while actually not really talking much. He also shows you how to criticize people correctly, etc. So you don't just become a yea-sayer. I would actually recommend the book. I haven't really read many others in regard to conversations, because I didn't need more. Went from people asking me if I was autistic to more or less solid conversations. But that of course took actual practice and time. An interesting additional book could be What Every Body is Saying from Joe Navarro. Gives realistic and solid advice on body language. Could help to identify if a person is happy or sad, what he is focused on, if he is actually interested, etc.
Come on everyone whose famous follows this they just do it subtlely, you cant just bitch and whine and throw a tantrum every five minutes and act like your narcissistic construction worker uncle
you could try this one by leil lowndes
Theres nothing wrong with that book
>>25236105>carnegie how to win friendsRead the old version before the wife molested it
>>25236427Who cares if its missing the "based" stuff
Truly amazing that this book has such a following.
>>25236105I would supplement How To Win Friends with Never Split the Difference. Never split the difference has some really good what I would call "tactics", 1. label people and let them correct you if you're wrong and 2. ask calibrated questions. Both books stress the importance of empathy and I've experienced it myself, just ask questions and listen intently and people will open up completely. After you've read these books you won't be better at conversations, you can only get better by practicing on real people. There is an infinite supply of those all around you, so remember you have nothing to lose by telling the barista "hey those are pretty ear rings", it'll build your confidence when you realize how cool people really are if you just allow them to be.
>>25236105
>>25236105I've read dozens of books on persuasion/ social skills and so on and I'm still an insecure incel.
>>25238047No amount of social skill books will work if you dont apply them IRL
