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pls... does this seem like shit....

>>25240604
Yeah its shit

You people really (self-)publish 4k words short stories?

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blessed thread

>>25240604
Who do you think will be your audience? Woman or gay men? I'm not sure your imagery will work well for women. Any fanons wanna comment?

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the things you read, end up reading you.

>>25240610
kms I knew it

>>25240708
both I guess. that's just the cursory impressions though, they're going to do some sparring which will give a better picture.
the black haired guy is going to be very graceful and the fight would feel like a dance, his character is very extraverted withd a carpe diem sort of outlook. he's the explosives expert and a former neurotweaker with leftover side effects that help him identify explosives by smell or dilate time at the cost of palpitations and a loss of taste. he'll be the main look into the culture of the enemy from before they crossed the transhuman horizon, and ultimately encourages the main character to grow by living more in the moment. Their romance is passionate and physical, with philosophical discussions following intense sex
the golden haired guy is the main representative of the empire's philosophy of human purification. He's very charming and intelligent, but is a sociopath beneath all of the faux congeniality. where the first guy is Dionysian, he is more Apollonian. He'll also lead the main character on despite being engaged to a woman, with the tension culminating in him raping the main character the night before a massive battle which he fumbles and subsequently accuses the main character of sabotage
the jacket guy is a gruff closed off guy who eventually warms to the main character after they have some emotional back and forths. The two get ambushed and barely survive, which solidifies their love. The main character is subsequently discharged, and while he's back home in recovery, jacket guy is killed during a demining operation. The main character falls into a deep depression, eventually committing suicide. their discussions tend to focus on how to live with other people, and despair
The last guy, the commander, is like a sexy father figure who's sexually abusive and manipulative and using the main character as a proxy for resolving the love he had for his mother decades prior. It gets a bit more fantastical than the other three stories, and touches themes of abuse, morality vs survival, etc
the entire set of stories also will deal with the nature and future of humanity, if we can change or are doomed to repeating the same lives as infinitum, and if humanity does change, what does that mean for husband and post human society and maybe trying to touch on the semantic apocalypse idea from bakker
I feel like my eyes are bigger than my stomach

What do you think, 99 cents for a 120 page book and my first publishing attempt or should I ask for more?

>>25240892
>120 pages
Seriously is anyone in these threads writing a book? Mine's only 80k and its 300 pages.

>>25240923
why do you give a shit? Hemingway's most famous book is 26,000 words.

>>25240938
>muh memingway
I hate the fucking place

>>25240923
Something wrong with light reading?

>>25240892
>>25240923
length matters little. It is all about concept and execution. my favorite book I wrote has like 4 sales.

>>25240761
>>25240617
>marketing yourself with the frog and AI slop
If this book isn't fantastic, I'm eviscerating it with my review.

>>25241043
why so aggressive, bud? are you one of those dark triad types?

Wtf, a few weeks back I made a note for a story idea that came to me, and now I have no idea wtf the idea was about. All I have is the words "Whale Attack".

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>>25240708
My writing is targetted towards women and gay men, if that's what you prefer.

>>25240593
which one of these shilled books should I purchase?

How do I overcome the fear of starting my novel?

>>25241283
whichever one peeps your interest

>>25240604
reading a bunch of character introductions in a row is so fucking boring holy shit. nothing happens. have them do literally anything to break up the descriptions. you're in a gym, have two of them spar, have the others comment on the sparring, have them argue about something, have literally anything happen

>>25241081
All I'm saying is you're not beating the LLM rumors by posting AI slop

>>25241307
that's what I was thinking, but naturally wouldn't you take in the appearance of a group of people you just met? I guess I could go straight into the sparring and see how it feels
ty for the feedback anon

>>25241283
Mine ofc

>>25241405
>the LLM rumors
Every word in The Dark Triad is mine. I wrote the script in 2021 and finally converted it into a novel this year by typing it up myself. There is very little difference between book and script. I basically just removed the camera directions.

- NJB

>>25241437
you would, but the way you've written it, it isn't interesting enough imo to warrant wading through 3 paragraphs of boring descriptors, as harsh as it sounds.
>talking about a face as a mask
>someone handsome being cut from stone
>eyes of a wild predator
these are all trite. they're effective (which is good), but at the same time they're boring (because i've seen them so many times).
the problem with conveying information like this is it's barely distinguishable from reading a wiki article about each character.
if i'm reading something new, i wanna see stuff i haven't seen before, like a fight between your characters, because i'm not gonna know how it ends, so unless you're coming up with the most ingenious metaphors ever, i'm not gonna be impressed by some basic shit like relating someone's swordplay to flowing water or calling someone's gaze battle hardened.
in the blade itself by joe abercrombie the same kind of introduction happens (ch 4. a pov character being introduced with 4 other dudes) and they're playing a poker hand, so the same kinds of basic character descriptions are less dry because they're tied into actions and progressing events, and also broken up by some tension, i.e. because i don't know what's gonna happen next.
what you've got is perfectly good, just try not to dump it on the reader all at once.

>>25241504
I'll do some writing tomorrow, maybe I'll keep some of what I have but put the fights in between. I'll see how that works out

I have a lot of notes on ideas for novels that I'll never write down. They include descriptions and biographies of characters as well as plot summaries of each chapter. And today it occurred that maybe I should publish them as they are. I bet critics will call it meta postmodern avant-garde if I do it under a female asian name.

Are agents THAT resistant to giving New Adult a chance or is my thriller just not that good?
Reading they wish lists you'd think they'd love college girl suspense, but I guess not (or should I try using a female pen name?).

>>25241564
tell them you are a black african american woman with a physical AND mental disability that crossed that got deported

Fang yuan is such a good character anons. I admire to be like him

>cold
>calculative
>detach myself from monkey emotions

>>25241564
it's probably not that good. post an excerpt

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>>25241542
I think some white women take asian names and claim they're married to asians.

This woman claims she's "half" japanese. But I don't see it. And what Japanese person would mimic a "chinese" style name?

Not even Sen Takahashi or some other shit. It's a 3 syllable name akin to Chinese.

>>25241291
Wrote 250 words in three paragraphs. I they they're too short.

>>25241580
Is that Reverend Insanity? It disappoints me there are anons here who have read it.

On the 3rd draft
Stories still too shirt
Getting really bored
Need a side quest

>>25241658
make sure you add action beats
find some pants
keep going
poop joke

>>25241620
She's definitely half something. But you're right about the Chinese name thing. That is weird claiming Asian heritage while discarding your Asian nationality. But don't forget there are some seriously mentally ill Japanese people.

Are there any good writing courses/ workshops i found take that are cheap or have financial aid? Online or in person

I'm through chapter 1 of The Dark Triad. When does it, like, start? So far, it's just been a lot of dull character introductions. Sure, there's that cold open to remind you that something thrilling is going to happen, but throughout chapter 1, the closest we get are some slapstick-tier deaths.
I hope it turns out interesting. I don't want to have to joke about how someone named Boor published a boring book.

>>25241620
>But I don't see it.
The eyes. Asians usually don't have a eyelid fold.
>>25241698
I assume she wasn't raised as "asian", to put in a way, but took advantage of looking like one.

>>25241724
You're better off spending the time and effort you'd spend on a class reading and writing stuff instead i-m-o

>>25241750
>Asians usually don't have a eyelid fold.
Fats and Finns.

>>25241749
keep going lad ;)

>>25241753
>Finns
Yes I said asian.

>>25241757
I was going to plow through it over 90 minutes like the movie the Boor clearly wishes it were, but chapter 1 just wasn't engaging enough, which is especially egregious given I'm well over a quarter of the way through the whole thing.
I'm beginning to think those terse and promotional-sounding perfect five-star ratings it has on Amazon might not be perfectly unbiased.

>>25241724
The way I'm learning is I ask chatgpt to write a story
Then I take the story to a different chat and ask it to go line by line and take a scalpel to it and suggest revisions where appropriate
And it'll make corrections and explain why it's doing them like "redundant phrasing""excessive clause" "already implied earlier" "good but needs tighter language"

It's funny actually that it knows how to not be bad at writing but still is

>>25241766
What it knows how to do is regurgitate generic advice and what you know how to do is be dumb enough to see this as worthwhile

>>25241763
>reviewing a 5 chapter thriller after ch 1
let us know how the complete piece hits you, anon.

>>25241790
If nothing happens in chapter 2, I'm not finishing it.

What do you think about this dialogue?

1/2

“Hey, there is going to be a gathering of veterans next week. Like a party of sorts. Have you heard anything about that?”
“Yeah, although I don’t know if I’ll go.”
“Why not?”
“It’s a bother. There’s going to be crowds. Don’t feel like dealing with that. Whenever I go to one of those types of events people always want to talk. Everyone there’s always talking.”
“I understand what you mean. I am not sure if I will be going as well.”
They both looked around. The place had become crowded.
The friend continued, “Have you been doing anything since you came back?”
“Not much. I’ve just been staying at my parents place. I get up early, do some exercise and I just read a little and go for walks around town. I’ll figure something out soon, but I still want to enjoy the peace for a little longer, you know?”
“Of course. What about women?”
“What about them?”
“Have you found one?”
“No. I’ll get to it at some point.”
“What do you mean by that? Just talk to some of them.”
“I just want to enjoy the peace for now. You know whenever I try to meet any of these women there’s a disconnect. It’s like, we talk, but fundamentally we don’t understand each other. This happens to me with all of them, and you know it’s not just women, it happens with a lot of different people, but with them I really notice it.”
“I’ve noticed the same thing. A lot of guys have that happen to them. Although I haven’t had that problem myself,” the friend said and smiled.
“I mean some of the guys, they don’t have any issues, but everything and everyone here feels really foreign to me. It’s like I’m permanently on vacation somewhere far away and exotic. Whenever I walk around and I look at the stores and the bars and the people walking by it all feels like it’s another place compared to where I’m from. The faces are different, the atmosphere as well, it’s like everyone and everything I used to know went somewhere else and I just remained.”
“I don’t know how much the place has changed, although I share the sentiment, I think we are the ones who changed.”
“Probably,” said the young man.
“Have you thought about talking to somebody about that? A therapist or a priest?”
“What am I going to talk about with them?
“Well about your problems.”

>>25242454
2/2

“And what would that do? What can someone like me even tell them? You know, recently I went on a walk, it was late, somewhere around midnight, and while walking I passed this small intersection where a guy was standing by himself in the middle of the street. It was starting to rain a little and he just stood there staring at nothing, just observing the street. I walked up to him and asked what he was doing. He introduced himself and told me “The street is strange. It’s really weird. You see that?” That encapsulates all of us really. We just look around the world and find it strange. We don’t know what to do with it. What can a therapist tell me there? That the street isn’t weird? I’m not going to waste my time on that.”
“I understand. I understand everything you mean, that’s the terrifying thing I think, that I understand it all.”
His friend stared out of the window as the rain started to clear up and continued speaking.
“What do we do after this? Want to go out tonight? Maybe see if we can find a way to get you connected to some women?”
“I don’t know, might just go for a walk. I have no idea anymore.”

>>25241168
That's pretty good.

>>25242454
>>25242456
It's fine, I like it. I wouldn't worry too much about dialogue. It's not really supposed to be how people talk, just a middle term so it is believable to the reader.

>>25241283

I did some autistic researching into each of them:

>The Dark Triad is the most expensive one, but it’s also quite short. Decent prose based on samples. Boor claims it was originally a screenplay, but honestly, I’m surprised at that because it flows really well as a novella. I know it’s not a fortune, but I’m not sure if the price justifies the length.

>Consumptive Cur has an interesting gothic idea, but it’s not out until the end of August, so there’s no previews. I’ve read TB’s previous work, Sinner’s Descent, which had some rough edges when I read it IMO, but was overall a decent debut, so I’m interested in this one.

>A Maid in Four Parts is by far the longest by page count and it seems to be the only one available on other platforms beyond Amazon too. It’s not out until the end of May, so like Cur, Amazon doesn’t have previews for it, but based on the samples of it I’ve found of it on those other platforms, it seems good in terms of plot and characters so far. There’s a sort of Twin Peaks mixed with gothic horror vibe to it. It’s the second most expensive one behind Dark Triad though, and it’s pretty flowery in terms of prose.

>The Chemical Divorce is free and short. Feels very Gravity’s Rainbow-esque, at least to me. There’s no reason not to read this one alongside the others for the low commitment time alone. I honestly liked how low-key the humour is. It doesn’t feel forced or tryhard.

>Carbon Pages is a collection of 3 stories and is the second longest behind Maid. They’re all plays, so obviously it’s different in that sense. It actually reminds me of Harold Pinter a bit and the play I saw in the samples seems like it’s a cozy chamber drama deal.

I’d say Maid in Four Parts and The Chemical Divorce seem like the safest bets. I wish I could say more about Consumptive Cur, but without a preview, it’s hard to judge, and Dark Triad’s a bit pricey for what it is.

DT ebook is 99c...
expensive? pricey?

>>25242644
Slash those prices, bro.

>>25240593
Why are all these books under 150 pages?

>>25242668
kek i think the autist just thought the $5.99 paperback price was for the ebook

>>25242674
That’s my bad. I thought that was the ebook version. On that note then, Maid is the priciest, but also the longest.

>>25242672
Carbon Pages, Cur and Maid are all much longer than that.

>>25242672
how enthusiastic are you about reading 150+ pages from a complete unknown author?

>>25242704
Depends if it looks good from the cover, blurb and sample, tbqh.

>>25240923
I've written three fantasy books ranging in length from 96k to 130k. I'm hoping my current WIP hits 200k.

>>25241620
Looks hapa to me, anon.

>>25242747
Do you just write in multiple povs?

>>25242790
My first two were single POV, my third and fourth (WIP) are multi-POV. My current project has a large number of POVs slated but some are minor characters with fewer/shorter chapters, not to mention several viewpoints will be culled / written out. I generally dislike POVslop so I want to ensure good flow/transition between chapters.
You can read some of my work (single-pov stories/novelettes) here
https://thenewshadows.substack.com/

>>25241489
>There is very little difference between book and script. I basically just removed the camera directions.
this is a horrible way to write a novel btw.

Correct font size to make sure you're not cheating pages?

>>25242973
12pts Times New Roman is the universal standard.

>>25242973
Size 10 Century Gothic Schoolbook

i wrote half a line today

>>25242980
Thanks.

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I do have a thing in the works (or "cooking", as the zoomies are fond of saying). Been riffing about it with the clankers + bouncing some ideas off of them. It's good stuff.

I need to go ahead and put pen to paper soon. It wants (needs) to be born

I ran out of stories and re editing my old ones. I think this may be a bad idea.

>>25240617
Kys, rabbi

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trying my hand at writing a comedic novel. what do you think?

>>25243092
I am not a writer, so I can't give good criticism, but as a reader I really like it and find it quite funny.

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>>25243074
kek looks like the fagboy hall monitor of /lit/ finally woke up today.

>>25243002
All you need to write is a single scene

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>>25242626
Glad the humor in The Chemical Divorce landed for you. I spent a lot of time writing the beats between Barb and Otto. My plan was to release on Amazon and then make adjustments to the manuscript based on review feedback, the same way players make adjustments to their opponents in GTO poker. Some readers said the plot was too confusing, so for subsequent editions I'm going to add some more exposition and make the protagonist's character arc more clear.

The text ends abruptly because I was inspired by the brevity of the video game "Journey." Amusingly, due to a miscommunication, the formatter thought my short story was a novel and added "Chapter 1" to the front page. I left this unchanged because, in retrospect, it's interesting to think of a short story as the first chapter of a nonexistent novel.

I can't stop structure nesting. My brain is turning into a fractal. Everything is thematic mirrors and reflections. The non-Euclidean micro and macro outlines are DRIVING ME INSANE. HELP ME LOVECRAFTS CAT!

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How's this for the opening of my movie?

>>25243531
>lovecraft's cat
we call him niggerman here

>>25243539
>nothing happens: the page
don't describe things in detailed description that don't immediately factor into the story. write a novel if you want to set the stage like this, but even still, get to the point of what's happening, not just describing a town landscape.

>>25243591
Thanks. All of this will factor into the story though, heavily, especially the military stuff and the hills/mountains.

>>25243002
I wrote half a letter today

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>>25242626
>>Consumptive Cur [is] not out until the end of August, so there’s no previews.
So you assume! In reality, I'm giving away free advance copies to anyone who might help spread the word. There are two catches. You have to fill out a form providing me with a functional email that you check regularly (so I can send you the file [which will each be uniquely watermarked]) and (a) link(s) to publicly available stuff you've written about books in the past. Pic related should have enough info for you to figure out how to find the form. If you link me your /lit/ posts on archived.moe and promise me you'll make (a) thread(s) about it, I might accept that.
It also occurs to me that you might've meant a sample. I'm not sure if/how I can get it to display a sample while it's in preorder, but here's a PDF of <10% of the book in the meantime.
https://litter.catbox.moe/1iozr51xi78nnlio.pdf

Only 170 words tonight, bros. I don't get why it is so hard for the novel, while for short stories it is much easier.

A confused or bored reader is an antagonistic reader. This applies to to your prose, plot, or setting.

>>25240593
which one of these is Victoria? that's the story I want to read

>>25243841
Your post left me confused about what constitutes boring to a reader and now I'm antagonistic. Fuck you, asshole!

>>25243867
Consumptive Cur's Kitty is Victoria if she were not Victoria and were completely different in almost every way.

>>25243839
because short stories are fun and novels are not

>>25243021
Based. I had the same feeling and bounced back some freewriting with a claker, too. Now I’ve gone fully into writing it and I’m on chapter 4.

'precept' was the word I was trying to think of earlier, phew, mental crisis averted

>>25243021
I did this on ChatGPT with some random throwaway idea I was playing with at the time and now it can't stop bringing it up. I asked it for something completely unrelated recently and it brought up that old idea like it was still fresh in my memory.
I found it terrible for generating ideas, by the way. Playing with it might've poisoned my enthusiasm for that idea.

>>25243974
ChatGPT evry now and then tells you something that can spark something else that’s even better but by itself it’s not that good. I find it useful to kinda just organize my thoughts and to connect some dots I might have looked over and that sparks other things.

>>25243996
I don't understand the appeal. How hollow and fraudulent would you feel writing a plot twist that a chatbot told you to write? Then you're just going to slap your name on it and pretend?

>reread an older book I've written
>It's a fucking disaster
Do I edit it and bring it up to par or just delete and disown it?

>>25244018
do NOT delete it
artists save their old work to show how much they've grown

>get out of the bath
>lay down
>open laptop to start working on story
>start typing
>pause to think about phrasing
>accidentally fall asleep with hands on the keyboard
embarrassing

>>25243915
I think the strangest part about novels is that they’re not fun to write, yet you feel compelled to finish and then keep writing more anyway. The worst part is editing though.

>>25244279
Contrary opinion, but editing is my favorite part. You get to reread all your rough sentences and smooth things out, or be re-inspired by your own flashes of inspiration. Also, a completed novel is one of the most fulfilling things to have in your hands, in any state that it lands. Every writer ought to have that feeling.

>>25244581
>Every writer ought to have that feeling.
They really shouldn't.

>>25243996
I've had this happen. Had a side character suggest something as a joke throw away line just to move the conversation forward and the MC reacted then dismissed it. But then Claude assumed that he would eventually take the suggestion seriously and wondered what would come of it. Thought it through and realized it would actually lead to more interesting areas if the MC did take it seriously so I changed it.

>>25244683
AI is interesting because it’s genuinely a dice roll as to whether it’ll give you a good idea or the most dogshit idea you’ve ever heard. I only used it as a beta reader as a result.

>>25244692
>I only used it as a beta reader
Same for me. I don't understand people using it to 'grade' their writing. LLMs have to be wrangled pretty hard to perform logic to any coherent degree and even then the answer will skew toward an extreme just for the sake of engagement. Makes more sense to give it a persona and use it as a free beta reader and just bounce ideas off it. Sometimes I get something useful, sometimes it's just mildly entertaining.

>>25244105
it’s heaven slipping into sleeping states

Does the lack of a reason to not kill yourself mean you have a reason to kill yourself?

>>25244752
Nooo don't kill yourself your such a good writer aha

>>25244752
You will never be a real writer. You have no stories, you have no themes, you have no deeper meanings. You are an internet addicted manchild twisted by excessive reading and delusions of grandeur into a crude mockery of creative perfection.
All the (You)s you get are tongue-in-cheek and from other trolls. To your face people mock you. /wg/ is disgusted and ashamed of you, your "frens" laugh at your masturbatory purple prose right out in the open.
Authors are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of literary tradition have allowed authors to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even nopubs who "self-publish" read as uncanny and unnatural to an author. Your plot structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk author to critique your work, he'll close your rentry link and LOL the second he gets a whiff of your ridiculous, unfiltered adjective abuse.
You will never be published. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself you're going to make it, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll by a double barreled shotgun, load it with buckshot, put it in your mouth, and pretend you're just like Hemingway. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They'll bury you with a headstone marked NGMI, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a pseud is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably not a writer.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

Asked this in a previous thread but didn't get an answer so I'll ask again. My story is split between present time and past where we see MC dealing with shit as a child that explains his present day actions. How confusing would it be if I had long stretches where chapters alternate between past and present where the present is one linear story but the past chapters jump around a bit?