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>Masters, holding aloft a hard-boiled egg from the free lunch as if it were a crystal ball, said, “Have you gentlemen ever considered the question of the true nature of the University? Mr. Stoner? Mr. Finch?”
>Smiling, they shook their heads.
>“I’ll bet you haven’t. Stoner, here, I imagine, sees it as a great repository, like a library or a whorehouse, where men come of their free will and select that which will complete them, where all work together like little bees in a common hive. The True, the Good, the Beautiful. They’re just around the corner, in the next corridor; they’re in the next book, the one you haven’t read, or in the next stack, the one you haven’t got to. But you’ll get to it someday. And when you do—when you do—” He looked at the egg for a moment more, then took a large bite of it and turned to Stoner, his jaws working and his dark eyes bright.
>Stoner smiled uncomfortably, and Finch laughed aloud and slapped the table. “He’s got you, Bill. He’s got you good.”
>Masters chewed for a moment more, swallowed, and turned his gaze to Finch. “And you, Finch. What’s your idea?” He held up his hand. “You’ll protest you haven’t thought of it. But you have. Beneath that bluff and hearty exterior there works a simple mind. To you, the institution is an instrument of good—to the world at large, of course, and just incidentally to yourself. You see it as a kind of spiritual sulphur-and-molasses that you administer every fall to get the little bastards through another winter; and you’re the kindly old doctor who benignly pats their heads and pockets their fees.”
>Finch laughed again and shook his head. “I swear, Dave, when you get going—”
>Masters put the rest of the egg in his mouth, chewed contentedly for a moment, and took a long swallow of beer. “But you’re both wrong,” he said. “It is an asylum or—what do they call them now?—a rest home, for the infirm, the aged, the discontent, and the otherwise incompetent. Look at the three of us— we are the University. The stranger would not know that we have so much in common, but we know, don’t we? We know well.”
What did he mean by this?