>Career professional woman finds herself in a compromising situation with someone beneath her, whom she doesn't respect>This someone caused immense damage to her daughter>The story flashes back to the damaging act>Goes into gruesome detail>Reader gets full context>Comes back to the present>Reader understands the woman's rage>Reader is invested in the woman's justice>Chapter 1 ends>Chapter 2>"She looked forward to the taste of his ass..."
>>25248798So she wants to fuck someone that actively hurt her family and she's aware of it? Well that's about half of divorced moms in America so, y'know, you got that goin for ya.
This will bring so much rage to women and it’s not because it paints them in a bad light but because it’s true. The amount of women that divorce their husband for a literal piece of shit is beyond a cliche at this moment
>>25249009>>25249020I guess I could take that angle and appeal to women but who I'm really trying to appeal to are jews or pervertsThe idea is that the reader will feel a sense of betrayal down to their core.Then the chapter ends and the next chapter startsand it starts right with their hero willingly rimming the villainThe reader goes wait, what? WHY IS SHE DOING THIS?I suppose it's what's called "ntr"?The idea is that it cuts from one extreme to another very fast and the contrast makes the reader's heart skipSomething like:>Chapter 1>She imagined his execution.-->Chapter 2>"Finally, my turn," she thought as she neared his angus
>>25249009Thats pretty much the reason I hate dating apps. Just pick the right husband the first time and it won't happen.
>>25248798>Career professional womanwho is the woman, what does she want? why cant they get it, what does she do about it, and what happens next?
>>25248798Stop asking "is this...le based???" and just write it, frognigger. If you want a valuable question, consider how you could juxtapose her higher and baser motivations without the graphic asslicking sequence. In short, find a way to write with both hands.That said, conflicting motivations are always good fodder for a character study, and drawing readers along by showing the protagonist betraying her "principles" immediately after setting them up is neat.
>>25250367>In short, find a way to write with both hands.now that is a post hijack. Where is the other hand? OP could learn from this sentence. OP this isnt' the new yorker or harpers. Its honest and brutal here. Redo the origanal post. But I want you to use a gerund phrase in the post.
>>25248798It’s supposed to be an NTR-erotica. My question was about using shock value to draw the reader in.The first shock value produces emotional rage in the first chapter, the first sentence could be something like:>”Her heart screamed at her, but she had to pass the judgement.”>”’Not guilty.’”>”It felt disgusting. She knew he had done it. She saw it!”>… etc>Turns out, it was against her own daughter too>Turns out, she had to pass the judgement>bla bla, goal is to try making the reader feel as much rage and injustice as possible in the context>Chapter 2>A single tear passed down her cheek. The adrenaline was on overdrive, but she wanted this. It felt so right. She challenged the sphincter’s resistance, she wondered how he’d feel with her tongue inside.The goal for me, as the author, is to paint one vision and then absolutely crushing it with the polar opposite. The reason I do rimming is because I can’t think of a higher sense of servitude.Someone at the top with someone at the bottom, quick cut, top is now giving everything to the bottom, and the goal is for the reader to go ’wait, what?’ and feel a tingle in his pp or clit.I’m not a very poetic writer but I’m good with emotions. I’d try come up with the scenario and use AI to find the writing for the right emotion.>>25250367I want the asslicking because it is the highest level of degradation in service of a man. A blowjob is vanilla.What I want is to make the reader feel jealous(?). It's the same appeal as with NTR. We become invested in one thing, and then that thing is given to someone undeserving, and we sympathize with the power trip the receiver must feel, which makes us bust a very strong nut
>>25250757op, no one here will steal your writing. no one is going to drive a lamborgini based on what you wrote here. Use this place to bounce ideas around. write the scene here, like a small short story. A note to us, the reader of the post can be surrounded in brakets, ( like this ). Also your story does not have to be long or rich looking. Break the scene down into an action. That action is the scene; that action moves the plot:He answered the phone's ring while standing on the hill (note to reader: sunny hill top where the mob tosses dead niggers in the game. need a dead nigger storage reference here maybe). He looked up the road wonderinng if the dead body smell was road kill or something else. There was a hightway sign up the hill, with the spray painted word "dead" something else i cant make out.Speaking into the phone, he says "Hello".
>>25250847I haven't written the story yet, I've never written something before. I am speaking in a general sense, whether or not my idea is good, so bouncing ideas is what I'm doing here.I'm not writing in order to drive a Lamborghini.I am simply wondering if a cut like that is a smart way to plot a story. I'm wondering if anons recognize authors who've done it. Maybe I'd be the first. That doesn't change the fact that you still need to build up to the cut in a way that's interesting and not gay.It's not hard to get ideas. I get them regularly. Execution is everything.
>>25250932>Execution is everything.(show me). also can any one take lalo character and add the phrase "show me" above his head. he says it a few times in the show. (note to reader is that a gerund phrase but for verbs)
>>25250932>>25250847(continuing exercise story)"who's this?""its gater the lizard king. new phone Hec. Always rotate phones. I'll use this number to contact you. Where are you, Hector"."I'm standing on a hill smelling a dead animal, struck by the truck traffic, or a very dead man with a password who works for certain someone in Las Vegas, USA.".(note to self: stop here? or continue the phone back and forth)(continue it is)Hec, listening; heard: "Follow the smell". Then a click, like those old phones.(note to readers, join in any time. Introduce your character using a plot device like your character sees my character from a distance.). Could be fun. this is 4 chan btw.
>>25251127>Hec, listening; heard: "Follow the smell". Then a click, like those old phones."Very dead man with a password..."It hit Gater like a tonne of bricks. He quickly called Marla:>"Marla! Your thong. Now!"(note to readers, I'm edging)
>>25248798What is with you niggas and buttholes?
>>25249150>b-but it’s impossible to tell what a good man is unless I get cum-dumped by 100 random dudes!!
5 stage acceleration to intertia go kart. you're a girl if you try too hard though
>>25250757>NTR-erotica?
>>25248798It follows the template of like 95% of fetish fanfics on AOOO, so I would say it’s generic
>>25252427The jump cut contrast or the NTR is generic?
>>25252438The women is disgusted by X fetish then gets more horny than ever before part
>>25250847>A note to (you), the reader of the post can be surrounded in brakets, ( like this )Might be a thread GENERAL candidate; test your writing. critique and respond to posts. I think its a good way to sandbox. Write a scene, then in parenthesis speak to the reader: ask questions; learn.How about having a thread scene? Every scene like here in this thread? Users read the posts and the sandbox scenes, enter thread as a character in the scene or the sandbox in the thread. Its 4chan so literally hitler can enter the sandbox. Comment on other's writing style,tone, the baker's universe.Sandbox General? Does that sound like a decent ideas? Story in the sandbox could have universal truths in the sandbox world like: bump limits, dubs, trips all become part of the universe. Bump limit is a plot, scene. Page 9 is the end of the world. Characters can not be taken over by other users. So Hec/Hector is me. what do the writers here think? Sandbox thread baker would define the parameters of the thread, including the universe. If you cant create a universe, then grab a common universe that everyone would know. Like MCU,BB Universe, star wars etc. Borrowed universe would be limited to the number of significant characters in the borrowed world.I'll be back later to 1. bump the thread, and write the next scene for my character Hec, short for hector. 2. Check on response to this sandbox idea.picunrel.
>>25249120> jews or pervertsBut I repeat myself
>>25248798they're calling it the most indian thread of all time
