"The bullseye is not at the top but in the center." Would this read well in a book or short story? Is it too specific to darts/archery?
>>25249796depends on what it's analogizing
The context is someone who doesn't feel they meet expectations talking to someone who is challenging what is truly expected of them.
>>25249796It reads like a justification of complacency; that the goal is not to succeed and climb the ladder but to be a cog in the machine; the middle class, middle man, middle management, etc etc etc. You don't give anywhere near enough context to tell if this is what you meant and if you meant it more literally, getting a bullseye, I think you will have to be fairly careful to avoid anything that might nudge the meaning. To use it most effectively it should work both ways, each being a different side of the conversation but never elaborated on, don't have the other side use it as a gotcha, create a subtextual conversation within the conversation which questions the conversation. If you want to be more literal and keep things concrete, stop trying to be clever and poignant.
That is a great point. I meant it as a balance of attributes bringing a balance to this person's character but I see now it can be read very differently. I searched the phrase wondering why it's never been used before but I see that now.
>>25249796It's a solid line, and in the right context, a great line. Bullseye is pretty common so I wouldn't say it's too specific to darts/archery.
>>25249826High achievers are often burnt out, overstressed, or compensating to distract from some neurosis or complex. The good life is to be found in the quiet life, in finding satisfaction. Some competitive types even have a saying "never be satisfied" which is actually a horrendous maxim when you think about it.
>>25249902Outside of its literal use it will introduce subtext, this is true of most all such phrases. We can get away with them at times but we have to be very aware of how the subtext interacts with everything else so the reader is not led astray down a dead end. Generally if you are going to use such phrases it is best to use the subtext, it is a lot less work than fighting the subtext. It sounds like you were trying to use the subtext, hard to say with the context you have provided, but a different subtext than I saw, which is what makes such phrases so tricky. If you want to use a phrase like this you want to sit down and figure out any likely subtext it introduces and be sure each is either well used or so obviously not going to be used that the reader will never consider it. Subtext is a bitch when you first start really getting it, but it becomes easy and fun once you put in the time. Even if you have no interest in using subtext it is worthwhile to learn it well so you can be sure you are not unintentionally introducing dissonance through subtext.
>>25249796I wouldn't read a book written by someone who wrote that line. not x but y is a retarded way of getting a point across.
