The boy who rode on slightly before him sat a horse not only as if he'd been born to it which he was but as if were he begot by malice or mischance into some queer land where horses never were he would have found them anyway. Would have known that there was something missing for the world to be right or he right in it and would have set forth to wander wherever it was needed for as long as it took until he came upon one and he would have known that that was what he sought and it would have been.
>>25275520had to read this in high school, it was so fucking boring.
>>25275520>not only as if he'd been born to it which he wasThe verbs don't agree here. "he'd" is short for "he had". So it would surely be preferable to say either>not only as if he'd been born to it which he hador>not only as if born to it which he wasBut in general it's a good paragraph.
>>25275520Kind of overmuch. I mean he conceived a whole universe just to say the kid ably rode a horse.
>>25275701>I mean
>>25275735Yes?
>The boy who rode ahead sat a horse not only as if he'd been born to it—which he was—but as if, were he begot by malice or mischance into some land where horses never were, he would have found them anyway. Would have known that there was something missing for the world to be right, or he right in it, and would have set forth to wander wherever it was needed until he came upon one.This is how he would have written it if he wasn't a fucking spaz.
>>25275808>AI mark>3 needless commas>>he was le spazzYou're spazzing out. 2 of your commas are wrongly placed and redundant.
>>25276415em dashes are based and none of my commas are wrongly placed or redundant. I admit the one after if and were are arguable but it's an aside that feels like it needs to be separated out and I already used an em dash.
>>25275520So is he trying to fuck the boy or what? Sounds gay.>queer land
>>25276674>, or he right in itThis is redundant >as if, wereThis is redundant
>>25275528You're welcome
>>25275528there's a knife fight in a mexican prison
And so he spat and the boy spat and then they both spat for good measure and gazed into and towards that vast void each autistically thinking then but and not but of the beans and tortillas yet to be and in so being because each beans and tortillas is all beans and tortillas from the first to the last before and yet but only if eaten in your sock feet and they both spat and rode on still
>>25275808>The boy who rode ahead sat a horse not only as if he'd been born to it, which he was, but as if were he begot by malice or mischance into some land where horses never were, he would have found them anyway. Would have known that there was something missing for the world to be right, or he right in it and would have set forth to wander wherever it was needed until he came upon one.4 commas are enough and even then you could remove at least two more as the syntax still makes sense just by reading.
>>25277359and then he wiped his plate with the tortilla and then he ate the tortilla
>>25277359kek shit like this always gets a grin out of me at minimum I hope McCarthy posting is a thing forever
At the hour he’d always choose when the shadows were long and the ancient road was shaped before him in the rose and canted light like a dream of the past where the painted ponies and the riders of that lost nation came down out of the north with their faces chalked and their long hair plaited and each armed for war which was their life and the women and children and women with children at their breasts all of them pledged in blood and redeemable in blood only. When the wind was in the north you could hear them, the horses and the breath of the horses and the horses’ hooves that were shod in rawhide and the rattle of lances and the constant drag of the travois poles in the sand like the passing of some enormous serpent and the young boys naked on wild horses jaunty as circus riders and hazing wild horses before them and the dogs trotting with their tongues aloll and foot-slaves following half naked and sorely burdened and above all the low chant of their traveling song which the riders sang as they rode, nation and ghost of nation passing in a soft chorale across that mineral waste to darkness bearing lost to all history and all remembrance like a grail the sum of their secular and transitory and violent lives.
