So for starters, i am genuinely lost about what to do with myself, i deal with anxiety, derealisation and thoughts of suicide. I have a long history with self harm and i still struggle to this day with it. I have maybe 2 friends i genuinely care for, i enjoy gore and i believe i might have sadistic tendencies, a lot of my past partners left me because i loved choking them and seeing their pained face, hitting them and i had thoughts of mutilating them and etc. I am already seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. I feel like no one really cares for me and i feel like i am alone even surrounded with friends. I am on meds, seroquels. Ive been on those since my suicide attempt around december where i ended up in the hospital. I enjoy life in general but i also hate it. I do nothing all day besides doomscrolling. I an insecured about my look even tho i am the average weight based off what i've searched. I hate myself, but sometimes i love myself. I dont see myself live longer than two years and i really want something to look foward to. Please help me, i really don't know what to do. I wanna live, but i feel like i'm rather existing than actually living a life. It feels like i force myself to make illusions then call it happiness. I'm begging, just try anything and try to give me any sort of advice.
Just kys. You are a loser and it's never going to get better. Stop wasting our time.
>>25350877I don't want to be an asshole, but that's what >>>/adv/ is for.Most people here would probably just shill a self-help book and/or the bible. Reality is that life doesn't matter and having an existential crisis is completely normal, and 'living' is only defined by what you put into life and want out of it.Considering you're obsessed with looks, you probably just want sex and haven't found out how it's not as good as masturbation, in which case, hire a hooker.
>>25350877Didn't read this but how can you faggots be so pathetic? Do literally anything, have some integrity and be diligent. That's it. That's all you have to do and you'll mog 90% of normies if your IQ is over 85.
>>25350877You want real advice? Go outside, spend an hour outside each day walking.Try this for a month, if it doesn't work then you have my permission to die.
>>25350877dunno if I'm the right person to be giving advice, I'm not a very successful person but I am generally happy and enjoy my life. For me it's all about just finding shit to do that I enjoy filling my time with. I get fixated on hobbies for a while and then move onto something else. Music has been a big one my whole life, I can play a few instruments etc. For a while I got really into the NBA lol, then it was graffiti, I got way into this really dumb video game for a bit, tinkering with electronics, learning linux, 2d animation, making synthesizer patches, reading has only been my fixation the past year or so. Drugs are pretty good, a few times a year I'll take acid or molly and go see a show. Right now I'm finding some kind of synergy between reading Proust, playing GTA3, and watching the 1987 Cosby Show spinoff series "A Different World" which has terrible writing but it has 80s Lisa Bonet and Marissa Tomei in it. I'm also working out and eating healthy now etc.I don't mean to just talk about myself but I'm just dumping examples of shit that I've spent my time doing, which desu is all life really is. Maybe you can just try to get into shit that you normally wouldn't care about.>a lot of my past partners left me because i loved choking them and...you could probably just /not/ do this. If you recognize that it's a problem you need to go to therapy for, you don't have to subject your partners to it. There's probably a healthy way to deal with that kinda thing and maybe you'll find a partner who's into it, but it seems like it's just making them think you're a psycho who's gonna kill them one day. Sounds like you're on your way to working through that though.So yeah IMO, put time/care into a relationship with somebody and don't mutilate them, and try getting into random shit. That's all I've got. Maybe try smoking weed and listening to weird music
>>25350877Get some methamphetamine off the dark web and microdose it to stop doom scrolling and restore some executive function. You sound like you could use some MDMA too.
>>25350877You need to be held accountable. You probably make plans and todo lists constantly and then get nothing done on them.You need someone to report your progress to, that you feel ashamed or embarrassed when you don't do the thing you promised you'd doBooks can't help you here, your problem is a lack of external social structure
>>25350877go for a fucking walk and stop choking people.jesus.
>>25350877test
>>25350877Why did you come to/lit/ to tell us this shit? You're not in the right place to be having this conversation.
Try LSD or mescaline. You need to get closer to Love.
>>25350877Unfortunately, you're basically fucked because you probably have some weird problem like mineral balancing issues or neurological etc, that can be corrected with proper supplementation & lifestyle adjustments, but are difficult to make headway on by yourself because if you quit your meds you'll just go insane & stop trying & end up in the psych ward again. You can pay clinics to effectively fix your issue but they start in the high five figure range, which is why I say it'll be very hard to do this on your own. Look into ray peat & grimhood on x.Obviously be careful about stopping meds. I'm assuming you already know how to optimize the basics of sleep, exercise & nutrition. If you need any specifics I'm glad to point them out.If you can't get yourself to make that stuff part of your routine already because you're so fucked mentally, idk ask yourself why, chat with an AI & get back to us.
>>25350877Do push ups, pull ups, and jog. Drink organic green tea with nothing added and other anti inflammatory foods. Realize you will never be permanently happy and some day you will die. Pray to God for forgiveness for your sins and know that no matter what you do you deserve to go to hell. If you are humble God might grant you grace and allow you everlasting paradise and peace.
>>25350894Fpbp
