>>25492121
Needs some death metal backing it up.

>>25492996
Wow. If you have to suffer to write, then you've got a head start.

Test

File: HL0I-tiWoAA_pJF.jpg (67 KB, 633x960)

67 KB JPG

She was so beautiful. Sitting across from me, she wore that expression, a look of thoughtful concentration where she’d scrunch up her nose like a baby tasting the bitterness of a lemon for the first time. She pondered my question for a moment, then, with a triumphant smile and a confident tone, gave me an answer, her voice only intensifying the pain of not being able to possess her completely.
I would often lose my composure and my quick wit in her large green-and-brown eyes, eyes so young and so happy. Although she never wore perfume, her scent was utterly intoxicating, and I don't know how I managed to smell it so intensely without being right up against her. It was an indescribable scent, a blend of love and happiness. It was so intense that, often during my long workdays, the memory of that fragrance would suddenly wash over me, leaving me dazed with bliss and dreams.

We had known each other for years. I had fallen for her very quickly back then, though without desperation or feverish passion, much as one loves and admires someone who seems to stand well above their peers. Over the years, that almost paternal affection had transformed into a genuine, overflowing, and dangerous love, a painful passion that led nowhere. Every new meeting, every fleeting glimpse, and every trivial conversation with her only intensified the adoration and desire I felt for her.
The deadline was drawing near. The date when we would have to part ways was fast approaching. She was happy; I was sad. Her adult life was about to begin, while mine was coming to an end. A final, eternal farewell. What was left to do? Suicide? Leaving? Or simply accepting the renunciation of life and happiness, to languish forever in the same place, wandering through my memories? I would never be able to love again. It had been the first and the last time. All this pain, and for what? A betrayal, a disappointment, an immense one. Perhaps the greatest of my life.

To her, I was already a piece of the past, something obsolete, stowed away in an attic like an old trinket one dares not throw out because of what it once meant, yet without attaching any living emotion to it in the present.
And yet, I had been loved. I was certain of it. Looks do not lie. At one time, she had gazed at me with such tenderness and love. That memory alone stirred up a deep, pitch-black, suicidal melancholy within me. There was a time when I had filled her thoughts! What an extraordinary thing. Then, everything had crumbled. She had changed, taking on a new vibrancy and an almost foolish air of certainty. Her melancholic look and beautiful dark circles, her weary, poetic smile, all had given way to an air of banality and false confidence, just like all the others. A tragic transformation. We no longer understood each other. My influence had dissolved.

>>25492417
>Why have you still not used my actual portrait in which I look quite cute for any of your garish generations? And why do you assume I'm aryan (which actually means Indian)?
Following up on this. I need answers here pronto, Bore.

A thick wad of chewed up paper hit the board with a *splat* and stuck there.

He whipped around and was met with a sea of shit-eating grins. “Who threw that?”

No one confessed. They just looked at him with that same vacant I’m going to be working at Burger King for the rest of my life stare. A heavily pregnant 13 year old in the front row blew a large pink gum bubble and loudly popped it--keeping eye contact with him the entire time. Half the class were on their iPhones.

Vinnie Fuckface as his friends affectionately called him was combing his well-greased black hair with a switchblade.

“Mr Vincent, would you like to answer the next question?”

“Ayy up yours, commie.”

Carver just shook his head and turned back to the blackboard. He got paid whether these oxygen thieves learned how to spell or not.

Before he could even raise his chalk he was knocked off his feet as a toilet crashed into the blackboard next to his head and exploded into pieces. It was like a grenade had gone off as he lay motionless on the floor amongst the pile of shattered porcelain. He coughed weakly as a cloud of fine dust filled his mouth, his ears were ringing, through the haze he could hear them laughing and jeering.

There was the sound of glass shattering and then wood smashing against concrete as a chair was hurled through the window.

“UP YOURS, PIG” someone screamed as the room descended into chaos.

>>25493103
>combing his well-greased black hair with a switchblade.
You might've wanted us to imagine him running the blade over his hair to slick it back all cool and menacingly, but I pictured him dragging the pointy end over his scalp and drawing blood like a fucking moronic psycho. I guess it works either way.

My book is going on sub to publishers next week. I should feel elated, but I just want to reach my arm down my throat and pull my guts out.

Had a breakthrough with the story I am working on.
Finally found a fix for the structural issue that interfered with reader retention.

Now is just a matter of finishing up the portion I was working on, writing a new opening, editing the existing portions to fit the new structure, and writing the interludes.
Easy.
Glad I found the fix early. It would have been a pain in the ass if had to do major rewrites hundreds of thousands of words in.

Yet again I spit onto the advice that you shouldn't change or edit anything while writing the first draft.
Poppicock!

I stared dumbfounded as he stuffed the black in the trunk. I inhaled. And along with the carotene dashing the night wind I snorted cold, dry air not yet molested by the freeze that would inevitably follow. The three of us immediately went back to our hypotheticals and Cranston lit up a Parliament. He clicked open his Zippo and began puffing on the thing without taking it out of his mouth. This went on for 27 seconds. For 27 seconds I was forced to make small talk with a Boston Five while Cranston milked his cigarette to appear suave. This ended up having the opposite effect as I grew to appreciate Ms. Boston Five through our gabbing. It only took 27 seconds to get close to her because I'm surprisingly smooth when it comes to bullshitting.

When Cranston seemed finally ready to jump in and humor us with his take on Worcester drivers, he put his foot up on the bumper and leaned on his elevated knee.
His head snaps towards Ms. Boston Five, he stabilizes, and says in a deceptively non-drunken voice, "Look, if you let me do you tonight you're welcome to the stash."
"You're welcome to *his* half." I swiftly corrected.

Cranston stared balefully at me so I returned the favor although the corners of my mouth trembled since I was really trying not to laugh. He could have nabbed this girl the normal way if he had just laid off the sauce, but instead he bribed her with drugs like an actual criminal. Of course Ms. Boston Five walked away in disgust, but not before clearly mulling it over in her head for about 2.8 seconds. She made the right choice that night. We both looked like a couple of 2:00 A.M. tough guys until she turned the corner; then we devolved into cackling hyenas. See, I liked Cranston sometimes. He would say or do the most inappropriate shit at the worst moment. ESPECIALLY whenever we were on delivery. I can admit it's funny, but he also possesses this innate lack of awareness that just sickens me. I know one of these days, that behavior is going to bring him to an early grave; and I will sit on that grave, and I won't bring flowers, and if the Boston Five answers her phone I might even fuck her on a cold granite slab representing an irreparable scumbag that once was my best friend.

Everyone is so successful here except me

>>25493276
don't worry, i'm not either

No really, why shouldn't I just make everyone into vampires, fairies and werewolves for the sake of marketing? Or at least give the girl cat ears and weird eye colors. It's literally free readers.

>>25493350
>Whoever marries the spirit of this age will find himself a widower in the next.
William Ralph Inge

I want to incorporate the phrase "Look what the fat dragged in" into a story but I don't have a scenario yet.

File: 240npl.jpg (10 KB, 268x284)

10 KB JPG

>>25493543
KEK let me know when you figure it out

File: 2b8a655a73602a5eeab294dd8(...).jpg (43 KB, 474x474)

43 KB JPG

Isn't it interesting that you tend to write in a different voice when you type versus when you write by hand? I wonder if using a typewriter would have the same effect

>>25493602
When I type my hand doesn't hurt and I have things like spell check and backspace.

Therefore stuff I write by hand is as short and simple as possible.

Typing stuff on the computer sets my mind free to fully express itself.

>>25493267
There are as many ways to write as there are writers and works being written. There are no hard and fast rules. Do what you want. Having said that, you still must learn spelling and grammar and basic stuff like that.

Is there a tier list for substances that help with writing. Currently tossing up with alcoholism, or a coke/ritalin additction, just want to know which one will help the most with my manuscript.

>>25493840
Sleeping enough

>>25493844
I'm not made of money, bro

>>25493840
I stick to the legal stuff. NMNH, glutathione, ginkgo, ginseng, ashwagandha, plus the usual assortment of multivitamins. And caffeine. Lots of caffeine.

>>25493884
>ashwagandha
this shit was supposed to boost testosterone but all it did was upset my stomach and make my boners worse

File: 1767979126849129.gif (481 KB, 220x228)

481 KB GIF

>>25493844
It really was that simple all along, huh

>>25493903
Sorry to hear that. I also don't take anything to sleep anymore. Melatonin and chamomile may be mild sedatives, but they're still sedatives. Turns out they totally screwed up my creative flow.

>>25493844
Get out.

Fuck, I need a title.

How do you tastefully rape?

File: george scott.png (534 KB, 516x812)

534 KB PNG

>>25494177
not true rape
but more like
>oh no this young nubile italian boy has kidnapped me and is going to forcibly ram his cervix on my throbbing hard cock over and over again until I cream his boipussi and then cuddle me and whisper sweet nothings until we fall asleep in each other's arms, how horrible and perverted!

File: Slow heavy metal.png (233 KB, 540x544)

233 KB PNG

>>25494177
By tastefully describing in purple prose how stinky and forceful the rapist is and powerless the woman is.

Or, y'know, the faggy fruity boy.

You want rape or just forceful sex? Pick one.

>>25493844
It's true. My sleep's tanked this week and so has my writing (and my everything else)
Our pathetic dependence on sleep is so fucking gay

>>25493840
Alcoholics don't get a productivity boost, but ritalin and coke users do. Of course that comes at the cost of quality. Hallucinogens might actually make you think in new ways to help you get unstuck or reveal new ideas. You risk realizing your writing is garbage and your vanity exercise of trying to get published is pointless however.

The biggest point of depressants seem to be calming down the nerves of people who have to be 'on' all the time, but that's more a performer issue than a writer issue. I suppose if you're incredibly self-conscious alcohol might dull your senses enough to let you write.

Maybe start by describing what your problem in producing text is?

Chapter 1 of my surrealist experimental novel...gets weirder as it goes structurally
https://pastebin.com/mzZk56Yv

Doing the last polish pass of my screenplay. Then I'll post it so you can all call me a retard.

>>25494492
Why would you rewrite it in Polish

>>25494375
First couple of paragraphs were clunky and kind of difficult to get through but the rest was nice. Only thing that threw me a bit after the beginning was the sun’s acrylic nails metaphor. I LIKED THE CHAPTER.

>>25494177
Offscreen it (or parts of it)
Less is more

>>25494538
Some of the characters are from eastern europe, and so we might need actors who can't read english

File: Pigman's want_027.png (542 KB, 4299x6045)

542 KB PNG

hello I made a comic a month ago and wanted to get more opinions other than from other comic artists, give it a read why don't ya?
https://files.catbox.moe/l7lat1.pdf

File: ajsopranovwx2013_9121.jpg (42 KB, 342x315)

42 KB JPG

Let's start a debate.

>A good writer should be able to write a novel about an idea he doesn't give a shit about

File: 786944529_557109968978284(...).jpg (323 KB, 2048x1518)

323 KB JPG

How's my cover and blurb?

>>25494604
You don't have to be a good writer to write shir you don't give a fuck about

>>25494579
This seems nice
>pdf
FUCK OFF

>>25494156
How about "Untitled Until Now".

File: water snake.jpg (56 KB, 548x962)

56 KB JPG

>>25494363
Hallucinogens don't help, but you think they do.

File: Polish eye exam.jpg (62 KB, 720x877)

62 KB JPG

>>25494538
For the spiffy names! Also, in case you didn't watch Wheel of Fortune... you have to buy vowels, and that can get expensive.

>>25494579
Oh, that again. I didn't get it last time.
>>25495039
Why do you fear PDFs? Are you still running Windows XP or something?

>>25494604
Isn't that the definition of a hack?

>>25494938
Pretty artwork, but based on the blurb, it doesn't sound like my kind of thing. Sounds too feminine.

>>25493276
You are enough.

>>25494579
As art, this was great. You did a good job in all of it, was a joy to read. Some bits of composition was off (like why is this a full page if he dodges it safely, and the finger afterwards is the true problem?) but it was still great. What I noticed is your storytelling is weak, which I won't fault you for too much. It's an entirely different skill set than drawing, and is very tricky to practice because it's time consuming and indirect (e.g. I'm an aspirational writer. I have to work through English and genre conventions to tell a story. So not only do I have the story level, I have the language level to work with). I picture the problem with comic artist being tenfold since realizing something needs to be cut requires scraping tens of hours instead of a couple hours of work.
With that said.

1. Premise itself is cute, (although as an aside I hate the framing of inexperienced adventurers, because it implies it's a job rather than something one does by accident. E.g. Bilbo is hired for a job but he goes on an adventure, your characters are hired for a job and go on an adventure. They're mercs.)
2. Dungeon was weak. It's just filler. There's nothing that influences the giant fight other than establish pig as incompetent. Sure it's two pages, but it's just two pages of characterization of the pig. With that said
3. Pig has way more than the fairy. He's impulsive underdog courageous type. What's the fairy doing? She's just a set of pretty legs that gets kidnapped. L A M E. Her something beyond a phone in the plot (phone because she's good at navigating, has a gallery of backstory, and gets kidnapped/lost)
4. You lost me on the plot with the spoon. I understand the EMOTIONAL narrative (which is standard underdog story, no issue), but why did the spoon come? Why did it save him? Did the genie help him?
5. The ending wish is random fetish. We already know what he wants: to be strong and go on adventure. You inserted his backstory in the narrative, yet the result is foot fetish?
6. I feel there's a subtle problem here. What is the point of the story? How was this day gonna change the pig for the rest of his life, either emotionally or powerly? Right now there's nothing.

If I were to write this, I would have him and the fairy have skills that compliment each other but they cannot work with each other: he goes head first while she over analyzes. In the giant fight at the all is lost moment, they are forced to work together, which gets them the win. Now the story characterizes not only both characters and their relationship, but we see it changes

I feel like Rosemary's Baby would have had a better ending if she'd roller a grenade out of the closet and then started blasting with an M60.

File: Phantom Tollbooth: Norton(...).jpg (388 KB, 1200x1838)

388 KB JPG

>>25495123
To be fair, that would be true of any novel. Imagine if Milo did that at the end of The Phantom Tollbooth!

>>25493840
1. Water
2. Medication prescribed and OTC products recommended to you by your doctor
(power gap)
x. Coffee
(power gap)
y. The not-so-bad ones (nicotine, THC, moderate alcohol, LSD [debatable], etc.)
(power gap)
z. The bad ones (alcohol abuse, cocaine, unperscribed/proscribed medication, anything [including the above] smoked/vaped, etc.)
t. stoned and ripping a nic vape rn

File: watamotenoreplies.jpg (60 KB, 512x337)

60 KB JPG

>Message artist on X to commission them to draw a book cover
>Days go with no activity
>Today they post a new picture
>Still don't respond

>>25495169
This is exactly why AI image generation replaced graphic artists so easily. Just use Nano Banana through Google Gemini. It's free and does a pretty good job.

>>25494926
Is this cyberpunk or gore?

File: 1576939879200.gif (1.78 MB, 320x240)

1.78 MB GIF

>>25495190

>>25494177
Did you miss /wg/'s ongoing gay-rape saga? >>25470823

File: HQlJeJ4bsAARXjk.jpg (65 KB, 826x810)

65 KB JPG

all my beta readers hated my grimdark fantasy novel for having too many of my fetishes

its actually so fucking over for me, i have to delete everything

File: 1787884631083025.jpg (56 KB, 850x400)

56 KB JPG

How it feels to be an openly published author on /wg/

File: cover.jpg (42 KB, 604x340)

42 KB JPG

>>25495199
Fine. Pay money to a lazy bum who's just going to use AI to begin with.

>>25495117
Kek I like this analysis, focus on the pig and keep the foot fetish fs

>>25495169
As an artist, I hate doing commissions. I still reach out to artists for it though, I see it as - I’ll find one when I’m ready to actually release the book.

File: ye olde trolling.jpg (67 KB, 650x812)

67 KB JPG

>>25495206
Assuming one isn't just a mean-spirited troll.

>>25495206
Over on another board in another thread for another creative pursuit, someone commented that the actual good WIPs that people post don't get any replies, and the shit stuff gets (You)'d to death

>>25495169
How big are they? If they're on the well-followed side, they're probably flooded with messages like yours and might not even bother responding to you unless you've got some number of followers, too, as a simple filter.

File: cope.jpg (31 KB, 410x317)

31 KB JPG

>>25495221
>actual good WIPs
So you mean pretentious MFA crap.
>the shit stuff
So you mean what people actually enjoy reading.

>>25495221
That would explain why I (TB) get barely any (you)s while someone like Wing rakes them in. Wing is a good storyteller but not-so-great at English, so it's easy to both read him and go after him for being shit. Even someone like NJB isn't the right kind of shitty to get (you)'d to death here.

>>25495228
It's more like what people enjoy replying to (more frequently to trash or nitpick than praise). I knew I was getting good at writing when the replies with useful critiques dried up, only leaving people who have no idea what they're talking about.

>>25495228
>So you mean pretentious MFA crap.
It's actually on /mu/ so no. But it's also stuff like 95% of the population would never want to listen to, but it's good to us

>>25495247
>/mu/
So, pretentious music-degree crap. I remember meeting someone who had his master's degree in music composition. He wrote boring pretentious filler.

>>25495241
It may have something to do with the fact that Wing has been here for years and is unfailingly polite.

>>25495204
Do you trust their judgement? Are they your target audience?
You could get a dozen people in a room who despise any number of amazing, successful things

>>25495241
Wing writes stories that aren't sad boy, schizo rants, or sexy magic elves. It helps to be a bit different.

>>25495265
Wing is too polite. A lot of you come at him with some bullshit.

>>25495270
Consumptive Cur is none of those.

>>25495264
be kind
he put all his skill points into music, obviously he wouldn't have much left for literature
musicfags would likewise look down on us for probably listening only to a few pop and rock bands, and the same old handful of boring classical shit overplayed for centuries

>>25495204
Do not take the fetishes out. We cannot give in to puritanism. Hold the line.

Has anyone ever self-published via a crowdfunding campaign? I have a company with a built in audience and am writing a book on my work, but don't want to just soft release it. I've done Kickstarters before, but am unsure if that is really something that's done in the realm of fiction.

>>25495194 #
a bit of gore and not really cyberpunk so much as speculative sci-fi
not that the two are exclusive, but the neurotweaking is derived in the story from the technology used in an enemy state that's in the early stages of post humanism. the religious leaders wanted to expand human awareness to take in more of the universe, seeking to again godlike awareness. the government wanted to tailor citizens to specific times. both found a common utility in neurologically rewiring people, and it's starting to spiral from there. the neurotweakers use a basic version of the technology to alter themselves, and others as the story shows. the reason I say it's not quite cyberpunk is that it's lacking the same corporate vibe, and is more existentially oriented. maybe I'm just being pretentious, idk. I'm not very bright, but I want to write this story and I'll try my best
the main overarching conflict in the story is between the posthumanist union and the transhumanist empire, from the pov of an imperial mecha engineer. most of the focus is going to be on the romance between him and one of four pilots, but also philosophical stuff bc I like mecha, gay romance, and cognitive philosophy. also rape and sexual violence bc it's hot and also an interesting way to examine the nature of man
sorry for rambling I just think too much

I hate pov. Why is everyone so hung up on pov. Here's my failed attempt to write a first chapter of a zerg/tyranid story. https://pastebin.com/DybxYAAm

>>25495504
Wouldn't patreon be a better way to go about that? I know a number of authors who do that.

>>25495204
Why not just make your target audience the people who have your fetishes? For example High On Life is targeting redditers because their game is full of cuckolds and simps.

>>25494177
Be honest, up front, and skip it half way through or just after the rapist goes too far.

>>25495514
I have a Patreon but its for another product. I also thought Patreon was more for web novels? I guess I'd need to do more research into it, but my novel is basically finished at this point, I'm just looking at publishing options.

>>25495574
I don't see why you can't crowd fund the book. Wish you the best of luck regardless.

>>25495590
Thank you anon, best of luck with your writing as well! :)

>>25495241
I read the excerpt of your work that you posted and it sucks
>>25495204
Which fetishes?

File: 08d5fdf4e78177fcd8c4bec6a(...).png (66 KB, 659x609)

66 KB PNG

I killed the fuck out of some darlings tonight. A whole sequence that I've been ruminating on for ages. My opener, my setup, one of the first things I wrote for this whole story. Scenario? Thrown out. Side character? Incinerated. Sequence of events? Unrecognisable.
Just finished drafting the new and improved version and it's the same spirit I was desperately trying to conjure in the first version but so much more natural and dynamic in every possible way.
This must be what it feels like to get an abortion at 15 and then go on to raise a straight A student once you're actually ready for kids.

File: file.png (37 KB, 215x316)

37 KB PNG

>>25495214
if you are going to keep the foot fetish have it mean something.
We see his goal is get strong, he barely survived a fight, and this isn't a one time adventure, he's going to do something like this again.
So why wouldn't he wish for a power boost? His friend almost died and he rather get metaphorically fucked. I would say something similar if he fucked the genie.

At the very least, I think a beat where he thinks between the two, picks foot massage, gets yelled at by his fairy friend and then dismisses her with something like "we'll be fine" or "I don't need help" would go a long way to explaining his choice and further characterizing him. We go from him being horny all of a sudden to being out of his depths at understanding the situation.
>focus on the pig
Maybe, or give more to the fairy. Typically fairies have magic: a spell here or there or use of her diminitive size could make her useful to in plots, and give her a chance to bounce off the hero.
Here's what I mean: https://youtu.be/xp6hv1AWjSk?t=182. the two leads are two different things, different ways, yet they helped each other resolve the situation.

The Fairy being helping and hindering can do a lot for her character.

Nuke the birthplace of Robert Frost: By me

https://rentry.org/a4w7k326

File: 20260709_112644.jpg (146 KB, 1206x1365)

146 KB JPG

>>25495266
>>25495520
None of them are my target audience. They were friends who offered to read and I warned them heavily in advance and now they're all reacting negatively

My target audience is me and me alone, how the fuck do I find more target audience? I just need ONE single non-biased target audience to beta read it without a negative bias because all the feedback I get is way too fucking biased (your story would be better if you removed this, you should stop that its a dangerous game, those scenes are not fun to read). Finding good readers is actually harder than writing itself I swear

>>25495667
>My target audience is me and me alone
Then why do you need beta readers?

>>25495667
Show me, I assure you my fetish is more embarrassing than yours.

>>25495672
Because I'm delusional too. The first draft is done, and I like it already, but I'm not satisfied, I want to keep improving what I wrote. And even if readers are biased against it, I'm way too biased IN FAVOR of it. Maybe it's not actually good and I'm too biased to realize. I just want genuine feedback that isn't fucking retarded. >>25495673
Maybe. I'm still trying to figure out what who the target audience is (beyond myself). Perhaps some awful crossbreed mutt of /a/ and /lit/

>>25495687
Who cares, If it's some anime shit I'm not judging it by lore accuracy. Post an excerpt.

>>25495667
>Getting your friends to read your erotic fiction thats filled with fetish shit

Incredibly brave and/or autistic. Madman either way.

>>25495204
Thinly veiled author fetish is supposed to be veiled, not in the open.

>>25495637
>This must be what it feels like to get an abortion at 15
I believe they call it murder if you do an abortion after 15 years.

>>25495696
"Thinly veiled" means there's no actual way to hide a fetish, it's just obvious every time. The only way to hide your fetish is with a forest of fetishes

>>25495690
>>25495695
It's actually a slow paced story with a lot of worldbuilding... Fuck it I'll post the whole thing later when I get back from work

>>25495283
No, it's just you, Bore. Stop trying to project your sour attitude on others.

>>25495305
This is my point exactly. "Actual good" doesn't mean good to you, it means written by someone which credentials, but that very few actually like, and "the shit stuff" doesn't mean shit to you, it means written by people who didn't go to the "right" schools, who don't have the "right" degree, who didn't go through the "proper" channels, yet bafflingly, their work is popular. The attitude you speak of is held by self-styled elitists who believe college activity entitles them to have their work appreciated, and that has NEVER been true.

>>25495504
Why bother to use crowdsourcing to self-publish? Amazon print-on-demand lets you publish for free. What would the crowdsourced money be spent on? Advertising? Why would anyone want to fund your advertising? I'm genuinely confused here.

>>25495753
Crowdfunding is basically just used as a sales platform in this day and age. Most products you see on Kickstarter are like 90% complete.

>>25495753
I plan on having collectors editions of the books with unique artwork, as well as things like collectible figurines/miniatures of certain characters from the books.

>>25495760
Before it's even determined if the book is well-written or popular? Mad lad. I remember buying a web domain, and making a web page, after making a parody video that I was sure would be popular. It wasn't. I let my domain quietly expire after a year, and the web page is shelved.

>>25495616
Perhaps but as long as you can't articulate why it sucks I'm going to assume you're just crabby

>>25495766
Like I said in >>25495504 I have a built in audience of ~4500-5000 subscribers on Patreon for my main business. The book's an extension of it. Did a crowdfunding campaign a few years ago that made ~$200K so I hopefully know what I'm doing, just never ventured into the domain of novels.

>>25495504
Only makes sense if there is a demand for the physical book be fancy compared to print on demand books.

>>25495743
Boor is a jerk of middling wit so you're fair to be assholes back to him. I (TB) am snarky but also honest and thoughtful and so deserve that back.

>>25495777
You are all assholes.
Assholes all smell the same to me.
Like shit.

>>25495504
Brandroid sandestroop raised like 20 million for some books on kickstarter didn't he?

>>25495799
He is the apex of living fantasy authors (in regards to popularity).
Bringing him up in this context is pointless.

>>25495804
Shouldn't have said 'anyone' then, I couldn't tell that you were asking for personal testimony.

>>25495781
you need to find some better assholes to sniff.

>>25495826
That anon is a legitimate schizophrenic who thinks God is the CEO of a galactic mining company and who wants to exterminate all existence, I recommend ignoring him.

>>25495774
Hmmm, OK. This is definitely not a common situation with the sort of people that usually post here. I wish you all the luck in the world.

File: Profit!.jpg (129 KB, 1395x975)

129 KB JPG

>>25495777
Snark is fine. The Bore is deliberately and pointlessly abusive.
>>25495781
The Bore's plan for success:
1) Treat everyone like shit.
2) Get treated like shit in response.
3) Whine that everyone else but him is an asshole.
4) ???
5) Profit!

File: 06-08-2026.png (1.35 MB, 2150x3035)

1.35 MB PNG

>>25495039
>>pdf
>FUCK OFF
my bad, what format would you have preferred? straight images in a gofile?
>>25495117
>What I noticed is your storytelling is weak, which I won't fault you for too much.
> picture the problem with comic artist being tenfold since realizing something needs to be cut requires scraping tens of hours instead of a couple hours of work.
>6. I feel there's a subtle problem here. What is the point of the story? How was this day gonna change the pig for the rest of his life, either emotionally or powerly? Right now there's nothing.
ain't that the truth, writing is so hard, I really struggle with coming to a point in my stories and to get the reader to know what I'm tryng to say, I'm trying to write for my next short comic and I've pretty much ran into the same issues: I have all these cool scenes planned out but at the end of the story the villain doesn't really have a reason to do what he's doing and the MC doesn't really have a reason to help the secondary characters other than he's a foolish guy. What's your Top Tip to get better at these sort of things?
>4. You lost me on the plot with the spoon. I understand the EMOTIONAL narrative (which is standard underdog story, no issue), but why did the spoon come? Why did it save him? Did the genie help him?
you're not the first person to be confused by that, I thought it would be the clearest thing in the comic, we see in the story that whatever is inside the teapot is trying to get out but the giant keeps it closed, so when (the genie) senses there's someone trying to help sends a magical device to turn the tides.

>>25495647
>if you are going to keep the foot fetish have it mean something.
in the original draft of the story they were supposed to turn down the wish and evict the genie out of the teapot and move in themselves, that's why in the flashback they live in a pot.
the idea of the story was and somewhat still is to have to retards adventurers wishing for a very juvenile idea of money, strength and fun but when given the possibility to make a wish they waste it on something useless (he's a pig so he wishes for something lewd like Oolong asks shenron for panties in dragonball), for them the real reward they walk away happy about is the adventure they just had.
I know I didn't do too good of a job, if I were to try and make it better with a few extra pages I would have the genie ask the fairy what her wish is and make the wish be something like "teleport me you and the pig to a beach so we can have fun there" or something else that's a callback to what they were imagining in the flashback, so the fairy is less of a useless character
>>25496002
it's a fairly long comic so I can't use txt or pastebin, I can't post all the images without clogging the thread, for the previous comics I made they were short enough I could post individual catbox links for the pages but that would've been 19 links for this one
I thought a pdf was the most accessible format that didn't require people to download shit

File: Pigman's want_006_007.png (1.21 MB, 8598x6045)

1.21 MB PNG

>>25496044
yep straight pictures with little to no text, next time I'll make it a cbz file then

FINALLY thought up a way for my MC to get the information he needs for the story to move on.

I finally wrote a decent blurb. Now to advertise

"Is it true that virtually no progress has been made here in thirty years?" Jonah blurted out, slicing through the warm atmosphere like a cold blade. The crew all looked at the fresh-faced newcomer through the cigarette smoke filling the hall.

"And what of it?" replied Merrick coldly. He stubbed out his cigarette hard, twisting the filter deep into the ashtray. "We're paid good for this kind of work. You think the Halcyon Commission cares if that swamp ever clears? There's a whole industry sat on top of us not cleaning up that mess. Ships, suits, crates, contracts, half of shore's economy's propped up shipping vodka and rations out to stations like this one. You start fixing the world too fast, you put a lot of important people out of a job." He lit another cigarette off the dying embers of the first. "So no, I don't lose sleep over the numbers. I lose sleep over my knees."

Voss cleared his throat, swaying slightly as he reached for his glass. "That's not, that's not entirely fair, Merrick." He waved a hand vaguely, as if trying to catch the right words out of the air. "Progress isn't, it's not a straight line, is what I'm saying. You can't measure thirty years by looking at year thirty. There's, there's momentum in it. Compounding. It's non-linear, is the point." He nodded firmly at his own sentence, seemingly satisfied, and took a long drink to punctuate it.

>>25496356
ai?

>>25496383
Yes, pangram says 100%

>>25496383
don't be silly
the prose is too purple to be Ai

>>25496356
just write a simple but perfect paragraph
it's jarring and off-putting and makes you look like a pseud to read grammatical errors alongside fancy verbiage

File: 1786666980784100.jpg (157 KB, 550x550)

157 KB JPG

how do you write a noir spy story without falling into the trap of making it overly cheesy

>>25496397
>the prose is too purple to be Ai
?
First off that's not purple and secondly AI can write in all kinds of styles
>>25496396
figured

File: Untitled.jpg (3.91 MB, 6428x10000)

3.91 MB JPG

As promised: my screenplay. The first work of fiction I've written since college. It's 106 pages, but it's not very deep and it reads quick. If you're interested, you can probably get through it in a 1/2 hour. Any feedback at all would be highly appreciated, because I have no idea wtf I'm doing.
The log line is:
>A struggling recent college grad and her companions stumble onto a covert foreign military operation while hiking in the mountains. To survive, she must embrace her hidden thirst for violence, fight back, and lead them to safety.
Now... time to start outlining my next story.

He stood there slack-jawed and dull, fat lips smacking in the air to mime eating chicken. Perhaps tonight he'd treat himself and get a peppermint vape pen instead of bubblegum. Tanisha might not like that though. He could never displease Tanisha, unless he wanted to be swallowed whole by her unending appetite for dark meat. He smacked his lips again. Chicken was back on his mind. Dark meat.

>>25496397
Thanks for the feedback, I always feel like I'm ham-fisting some of the verbiage. I struggle with keeping things concise

>>25496383
Only as you would use a thesaurus, probably why some of the prose is overly decorative and jarring. Apologies if that's frowned upon, I've just finished up Roadside Picnic and wanted to try writing a novella

>>25496399
>noir spy story
Define that and I'll tell you.

>>25496449
quick idea is that it'll be with a detective who is trying to solve a black widow spree killer and eventually falls in love with a woman who is revealed to be the killer who wants him as her next victim.

>>25496356
>slicing through the warm atmosphere like a cold blade
Horrible. The next sentence is fine.
>replied Merrick coldly
>coldly
That's the best you can do?
>He stubbed out his cigarette hard, twisting the filter deep into the ashtray.
The fact simple and good sentences like this come immediately after dogshit is baffling.
>He waved a hand vaguely, as if trying to catch the right words out of the air.
More like this, less dogshit.
>He nodded firmly at his own sentence, seemingly satisfied, and took a long drink to punctuate it.
This is just fine. I think you could do better.

Overall take what I said to heart. If you feel like adverbing adverbly, consider whether or not there is not a better way to say something, or at least if the adverb is really, REALLY needed there.

I didn't pick up AIslop so I don't know what other anons are talking about. If you really wrote this, you have the capacity to write something readable. Dialogue feels a bit literary, but it's natural enough not to raise a brow at it.

Rewrite the dogshit and try not to write any new dogshit in.

>>25496453
Well that is not a story. It's a detective story and you're trying to write up a cliche.

Just, like, do execution well, man.

>>25496462
>not a story.
Not a spy story. Fucking hell, my arm is too fatigued to even type a word out.

>>25496462
that's my issue really. i like the cliche trope because it's fun but it's a cliche for a reason. i'm trying to find ways to make it more interesting.

>>25496473
You don't have to do anything special, you can just nail the fucking execution.
And if you are going to do something so tired, you might as well flip it on its head with how well executed and straight-played it is.

>>25495956
I just woke up, so maybe I'm a brainlet right now, take this for what it's worth, but there are so many rapidfire names and pronouns in the opening paragraph, eg
>than she thought he would
vs maybe
>than she expected

I'm also not sure where exactly they are. Are they on the street? Then what seat? Is this a rapidfire flashback after like one sentence and four character introductions? In which case you'd want to do "Chloe had waited," "He'd rushed" etc (and/or to maybe restructure it for clarity)

There's a lot going on and I need a coffee

>>25496002
>PDFs has been riddled with bugs and vulnerabilities since it's inception. A new zero-day discovered last year.
wuhupen?

>>25496356
>He stubbed out his cigarette hard, twisting the filter deep into the ashtray...He lit another cigarette off the dying embers of the first.
tell me you've never smoked without telling me you've never smoked

>>25496021
>I know I didn't do too good of a job
You practice composition, drawing, and fight pacing, and understand where to improve next. That's good. None of us are perfect: my issue is micro beats where I want a reaction but all I can come up with is generic filler.
Art was great, I'll say it again. Great job.

>>25496427
>random chick vs entire special ops team
>random chick wins
is the twist that she's magic?

File: Screenshot 2026-08-28 150423.png (445 KB, 440x470)

445 KB PNG

I hope the religious themes and cover won't deter readers.

>>25496581
Thanks, this is very useful feedback. It is disorienting.

>>25496427
Congratulations anon, completing a project is no small feat, all the talent in the world means nothing for someone who never finishes anything.
Unfortunately I can't stand reading screenplays, but I wish you luck.

>>25495241
>. Wing is a good storyteller but not-so-great at English, so it's easy to both read him and go after him for being shit. Even someone like NJB isn't the right kind of shitty to get (you)'d to death here.
ouch. That hurts.

do you guys really just share entire 100+ page manuscripts as .jpg's and .png's? is that the optimal way to show stuff to beta readers?

>>25496427
>just my arm, I'm fine
I presume she does not have a tourniquet.

She is not fine. She's dead within next 5 to 10 minutes.

May get some direct to DVD slop production but I honestly don't understand who your audience is. Men don't want to see action grrlz, women don't watch stuff like this.

It's like a gender-swapped dudebro B side action movie, honestly.

>>25496681
most optimal way is to pay someone. outside of that, you beg. if that doesn't work, you hire some slutty teenage girl with big tits and have her praise your work on tiktok.

With a slutty teenage girl, you don't even need beta readers.

>>25495353
are the puritans in the room with us right now?

>>25493648
There was nothing wrong with the spelling or grammar of the post you responded to.

>>25496694
Thank you for reading and the feedback. I appreciate it. Hopefully I can do better on my next one.

>>25494579
Could have warned me that it had a Jap read order instead of a comic read order.
Art was decent. Plot was meh. Characters were blah.

>>25496399
Throw away all the spy thrillers made in the last 50 years. Deeply example the brutal reality and stories of actual real world spies. Then adapt them to a an early 20th century atmosphere.
Noir is cynical, nearly gritty realism with early 20th century aesthetic with a cherry of mystery on top, and spies are an occupation on Intel gathering, espionage, and covert operations.

For example. You can write a story about trying to stop the Russian assassin who could kill people with a poisonous umbrella.

I watch the city burn. Shadows and clouds of dust swallow flesh and bone, leaving nothing behind. Blood rushes through their veins as though I am the one tearing them apart. Yet, I am merely a Collector who clears severed limbs from the Square. Or… At least, I was until a few hours ago. “No man survived,” they whisper. “The Shadow Wars are still raging!”
I lift my gaze to the crimson sky, veiled in smoke. The ache at the base of my skull has grown too fierce to ignore.

Under Odesthre’s blistering heat, I find myself in the path of the Shadows. Yet I do not fear them. Just as they did in the square, they pass me by without a glance. I am not what they seek.

They are hunting the Whisperers.

This is the Sovereign’s eighth attempt since I was born, and the fourth since my father abandoned me. It seems the Shadows do not wish to be whispered to. Taming them is as impossible as turning the sky blue again.

Even as sweat trickles down my forehead and stings my eyes, I do not blink. My body is caked in mud. My silver markings have dulled; they aren’t even glowing.

The Sovereign’s Guards, the Keepers, are coming for me, their whips snapping through the air. I stole Tha from them. So much of it that, if they fail to catch me, the Sovereign will likely have every man in their households executed.

I wouldn’t care. Perhaps they deserve it.

I did not hesitate. All I had to do was snatch the steel box, and that was exactly what I did. The world I live in is not one that tolerates cowardice.

I run through the smoke. The steel box masks the scent of Tha in my blood, shielding me from the Shadows. But its weight in my pockets slows me down, and that worries me. The smell of soot fills my nose, turning my stomach. I haven’t eaten anything but a loaf of bread and a pomegranate for the past week.

“You stupid Pale!” one of them shouts behind me.

At this rate, they’re going to catch me. I glance back to see a heavy lash slicing the haze behind me. He won’t catch me. I won’t let him.

The wind makes my eyes water. I’m perilously close to a storm, its currents guided by the fingers of an Airshaper. It blocks my way out. I need another route.

Then I see the bodies strewn across the ground.

I have no choice.

I throw myself into the pile of corpses and hide beneath one of them.

They won’t find me here.

I hold my breath. By now, I should be used to the smell of blood, but whenever I draw too close to that thick, dark liquid, pain lances through my temples, clouding my vision. The bitter taste rising in my mouth is bad enough.

I hear the wet sound of their boots striking the muddy ground. They pass by me.

I hope this is the last time I ever see the Keepers’ stern faces.

>>25495827
Wut?

>>25496694
Teen girl power fantasy

>>25495039
I have used PDFs for 20 years and never had a single issue.

Your paranoia is misplaced.

>>25496798
Teen girl power fantasy is being raped vampirly by a handsome vampire rapist (who is a billionaire).

>>25496399
By actually being sincere and playing it 100% straight and actually taking it seriously.

No lampshading. No irony safety net for your ego. No meta humor.

>>25496795
Feels kinda ai. Also I have trouble understanding what's going on. Why's he hiding if he's invincible? Why's everyone upset at him? What is he?
Flowery and mildly engaging, but I don't think I would buy this if I saw it at Barnes and Noble.

>>25496795
After rereading it, i shouldn't have guessed he was invincible. I thought he was collecting the arms of warriors he beat in battle when you wrote
>I am the one tearing them apart. Yet, I am merely a Collector who clears severed limbs from the square
But regardless there's a touch too many proper nouns I'm not familiar with in this work.

Pretty wording regardless though.

File: HungerGamesPoster.jpg (110 KB, 220x326)

110 KB JPG

>>25496809
That's teen girl sex fantasy
Teen girl power fantasy is a huge genre

>>25496694
i take it you've never watched any resident evil movies? if lead is hot enough, dudes will be into it.

>try and write a synopsis without spoiling the interesting twists and developments
>just sounds like vagueposting bullshit
ree

"The time approaches for me to think about the future of the estate.” Sylthar said, voice rich and thoughtful.
“I will name my heir. Not through passé melee combat nor through a too terribly short lazrifle duel. Gone before we could even savor it. No. You two will compete as true high born should, by commanding others to bleed and break. Through a proxy, a beast you see before you." Gestures to the bound insectoids lined before them.
"Through the art of commanding, and of making others bend and break into your vision. The one who proves superior will inherit everything upon my death.” The Vexari Lord declared. The faces of his two offspring lit with emotions. He enjoyed seeing them like this, with this fire in their eyes. It reminded him of himself, before he grew too much for such things.
"Awesome. That one." Thalor didn’t wait for permission. "The red dino bug over there, the one with the big scar. Wait, do I get to pick?”
Sylthar let out a booming laugh. “Of course. That was the idea. Each of you will select one of these drones as your champion. You will name it. You will choose how it grows and will shape it. Then after a few warm-up matches to season them, then you put your work in the arena and see whose vision survives.”
Sylthar watched his son walk to examine his choice with approval, and how he conversed with the scientists he employed. Thalor understood the game. Claim the strongest-looking piece, brand it, grow it, use it. A good trait for the next in line to have.
He turned his gaze to his daughter. “Sidisi. It is your turn.”
She did not move. Her gaze drifted past her debased brother, past the gleaming chrome and drones, and settled on her father.
“I will not participate in this,” she said at last. Her voice was clear, carrying the calm certainty of someone who has chosen principle over pride. “These creatures are not pieces on a board to be named and discarded for our amusement. I will not reduce myself to choosing which one dies for your legacy, father.”
Sylthar's face became an unreadable mask at that statement. Defiance in private was one matter. Defiance spoken before witnesses, the help, the scientists. This had to be addressed immediately and corrected.
But his voice came out as a cold, almost surgical tone, betraying a hint of contempt. "Leave. All but you, Sidisi. Clear out. Yes, even you, Thalor."
The scientists bowed and withdrew without protest. Thalor hesitated only a heartbeat, then followed. Slowing down as he passed Sidisi to give her a glare accompanied by a curled lip. Then the door sealed behind him with a hiss that left only the low hum of the throne and the faint, raspy breathing of the sedated drones.
He sighed and drifted toward her, unhurried. For a moment he saw the smaller Sidisi gazing at him. Jeezabal had been better at this with her than he ever was.

>>25496889
People need a reason to read it before the twists and developments come into play. Figure out what that reason is.

>>25496694
i presume you're not a medical professional. gunshot wounds to the arm do not always require tourniquets. that is highly dependent on caliber and location. tourniquets are also easy to improvise. the real concern might just be debilitating pain and loss of use of the limb due to damage. but action movie rule of cool states that heroes can shrug off things that would incapacitate people in real life.

>>25493103
Reads like a rant, totally nonsensical.

>>25493602
Don't type on a typewriter. It's the most money wasting, gay shit imaginable. Every mistake is permanently on the page, and you burn through paper and ink. Also, all your submissions for publishers are digital, and if you want to share, it's digital. And making copies is a nightmare. I knew some punk kid who used an older model Remington and he was a fucking dumbass.

File: 4e819495f6fdea12f21abba44(...).jpg (26 KB, 500x375)

26 KB JPG

>>25494938
Awful. Who designs covers these days? It's just a lazy application of opposing blue/orange cover theory. I swear to God that would make me put it down.

I'm old school though, so those fantasy and sci-fi catch my eye.

>>25496889
Synopsis: A world loved by the stars stands precariously balanced between divine right and martial might. Blade formations clash at borders, while mage artillery lines siege from afar. All is fought in concordance with the divine patrons of each nation. To obey the patron’s rituals is power, and to slay a patron is to slay a nation, and a fallen patron’s divine flesh makes the ultimate ritual offering. Thus is the pact between man and divine.

This tentative balance is suddenly disrupted by the forward march of magical progress. The discovery of teleportation magic swiftly connects a divided world, solving all food logistics, eradicating trade routes, and instantly disseminating information like never before. One nation’s secrets can now spread like wildfire, and the stagnation of reclusive tradition is finally shattered. New magics, new geniuses, new trailblazers all herald a promising new era.

And yet, such an era might never come. With this sudden accelerationism of information, tensions rise higher than ever as booming nations scramble for power. Truces are forced, alliances are strained, protests are violently trampled and rebellions are quietly snuffed. Skirmishes break out across the world, threatening escalation, while the royals crush the bloodied stones, demanding submission. The wounded people cry for succor, but the hunger for power starves them deaf.

At last, the world totters on the brink of a grand war unlike any other. The heavenly bodies align, and the final prophecy is made, portending unfathomable calamity in ten long turns of the sun. The Powers that Be are shaken to their very cores, their long dynasties finally threatened. So the Powers that Be throw their desperate last tantrums, clashing and falling, leaving holes of power where they once stood, and giving the dregs at the bottom a chance to finally claw their way to the top. When the foundations of it all shake and crumble, it is at the bottom where new order arises.

While the adults struggle for power, so too does the next generation. The children shadow the adults, playing twisted games and chasing fervent wishes. When all is crooked and rotten, who can grow up straight and true? A young Noxan girl in particular spurns cruel Fate with her unlikely survival, catching the eye of the divines. The nation of Nox is a young, fragile one, one that yearns to stand on the world’s stage, and that girl is no different. This is her tale, through slums and orphanage, through love and void, to thrive in a decaying world. It is the bleakest rituals that create the densest faiths, after all. Has she the mettle, to save poor Nox?

File: 1780001233468424.jpg (40 KB, 750x746)

40 KB JPG

Realizing that a lot of what I wrote is just mindless prose and "he feels" descriptors rather than actual narrative.

How much implied lesbianism can you get away with before people accuse you of queer baiting?

File: Simpsons - Billy and the (...).webm (3.74 MB, 512x384)

3.74 MB WEBM

>>25496453
So, the 1952 novel "Black Widow" by Patrick Quentin, adapted into the 1954 movie? Or 2021's "Black Widow" by Kentlin Hopkins? Or 2022's "Death of the Black Widow" by James Patterson? You're going to be hard pressed to do a better job than everyone who's already written that story.

>>25496647
I'm sorry, Wing, but you really need to cut that blurb down to something punchy. It also sounds feminine.

>>25496774
Didn't say there was.

>>25496977
That's the synopsis? It's the length of some of my short stories.

>>25497085
It's why I want to find a better angle for the cliche

File: Simpsons - Billy and the (...).webm (3.8 MB, 512x384)

3.8 MB WEBM

>>25497119
I hope you've done your research.

>>25497045
Maybe it'd be better to ask this on Tumblr or bluesky dude.

>>25497119
Why not just like not make her a widow?

>>25497119
the twist can be the detective is actually a tranny and he's the black widow. yw

>>25497089
i do need female readers.

>>25496647
>10th century Eastern Europe. A princess. A betrayal. Byzantium finds itself aligned with an unsuspecting ally. The medieval world shakes at the collective vision of cross and blade forging an empire, not by the force of man, but by the vengeance of a woman. A princess Novgorod.

>>25497156
ok ok but then the final word is
>Viktoriya.
after 'a princess Novgorod.'

>>25497161
or what about
>10th century Eastern Europe. A marriage. A betrayal. Byzantium finds itself aligned with an unsuspecting ally. The medieval world shakes at the collective vision of cross and blade, forging an empire not by the force of man, but by the vengeance of a woman. A princess Novgorod. Viktoriya.
that way the 'princess' word is only used once.

>>25497151
So, the 1987 film "Stripped To Kill"?

>>25497169
god there really are no original ideas are there?

>>25497172
Sure there are. But it takes work.

>>25496675
I don't see why. The qualities described put Wing above much of this general. Many of these writers have English skills but have no idea how to tell a story. Many others have developed neither skills. It also says nothing substantial about NJB. But I can add that NJB has only English-language competence and is a little worse at storytelling, which puts his work firmly in mediocrity. Not bad, but not good either.

>>25497179
and untreated mental illness

>>25497172
I'm working on a space opera about a daughter who dooms her family and planet into getting destroyed by zerg/tyranids. This is inspired by pets activism and suicidal empathy. I wish people would give my stuff here advice. >>25496897
>>25495512

>>25497192
*Peta activitism

>>25497184
>>25497187
Don't pathologize creativity. I expect better from people that consider themselves writers.

>>25497192
Video game fan fiction?

>>25497195
You have to be delusional to think anything can be totally original.

>>25497197
40k inspired race of dino insectoids. Captured and forced to fight for the amusement of superior pale hedonistic humanoids.

>>25497195
Don't idolize originality. Embrace the cyclical nature of myth, of iterated improvements.

>>25497172
The truth is there are no original ideas and it's just the execution that makes it stand out.

>>25497192
well, i have specific opinions about this type of stuff. to me, i got starcraft, dune, game of thrones, all mixed up in the first two sentences. i think stuff like this hides behind stylistic tropes of already existing fantasy/sci-fi without any intention to tell an original story. as far as the actual writing, you describe a lot of the characters' reactions and expressions that could probably be delivered better via dialogue itself. i don't have much to say beyond that. genreslop is ok, i'm not saying you can't do it, but my feedback is biased through a lens of not liking it.

all that said, i think you could be pretty decent if you stop trying to hide behind all the genre crap. but if that's how you need to practice your chops then by all means, keep going.

>>25497217
Fair enough. I've never read dune or game of thrones so I'll take that as a compliment. I hope my story would be original though. The tragedy of what happens when you are too empathetic.

>>25497201
It's not a choice of one extreme or another. Are you sure you're not just dumb?
>>25497207
I got bored with that ages ago.
>>25497211
So you admit to being boring.

>>25497237
Make an idea right now.

>>25497238
OK, I have. I'm not sharing it with you.

>>25497244
I can read your mind. I don't like that idea.

>>25497247
It's the way I plan to write it that'll make it worthwhile.

>>25497091
Then why bring it up?
It's unrelated to both the post you are replying to and the previous sentence of your post.
Just random platitudes and thought terminating clichés?

>>25496427
I forced myself to read the first 19 pages, and nothing happens except for some unseen "thing". Seriously, things need to happen.

>>25497257
I did it just to make autists seethe. Looks like I've achieved my purpose.

>>25496425
>that's not purple
Wikipedia: "Purple prose is characterized by the excessive use of adjectives, adverbs, and metaphors."

>blurted out, slicing through the warm atmosphere like a cold blade
>vaguely, as if trying to catch the right words out of the air
>nodded firmly at his own sentence, seemingly satisfied, and took a long drink to punctuate it

adjectives, adverbs, metaphors. it's the dictionary definition of purple.

>>25496440
>I struggle with keeping things concise
indeed

I agree with >>25496457
if I were you, I would learn to first write as basic but grammatical prose as possible, and then add in your touches on the next pass
it takes time and effort to train yourself to write in a particular style, and lose the habits of another style, but you must do it
the end result is that you will acquire the skill to do both, which is great, isn't it?
and it is only after having acquired both that you can truly pick and choose when to salt in a little flourish for maximum effect
the trouble is, most writers here try to do the triathlon before knowing how to either run, cycle, OR swim

How's this opening line
>There are places you can go and places you can leave, but there is only one place I can leave and go---home. My home. A small boxed structure with white walls, an aging maroon carpet, a few windows, and a fireplace in desperate need of a cleaning.

It's not here. This large wooden space full of food, furniture, clothes, and Japs. Three family of Japs; they're huddled together with the old ones thinking , the middle ones crying, and the young ones grinning. I hate them all.
"Chugoko, they'll call me." And I'll respond to them, "What? Wo Gok."

>>25496427
Wait, I think I figured it out... are you female?

>>25497259
Thank you for the attempt. I made some changes since last time to try and address that, but probably not enough.
>>25497267
No I'm a man going through a midlife crisis I guess

>>25496647
Not interesting . What's the magic system here? You need to explicitly state her powers and why it makes her so dangerous

>>25497270
Oh... then I'm out of ideas. Suddenly I saw the screenplay as boring chicks doing boring chick things, and if you were a woman, it would explain a lot.

>>25497274
It's an intentionally slow start because the rest of the script is pretty much just shooting at people. But yes, too boring in the beginning. Not sure if I want to keep working on it or move on to another project.

>>25496977
I read the first paragraph and have no idea what this is about. Dropped.
Who's the main character? What's the main conflict?
Also learn the difference between a synopsis and a blurb.

>>25497045
I'm writing something involving a Sam and Frodo tier female friendship and I fear I'll be eaten alive by upset lesbians and their equivalent of fag hags if I don't get gay with it lol

>>25496977
I'll give you some more constructive criticism: the typical Goodreads synopsis consists of the very last paragraph you wrote. that's it.

>A young Noxan girl in particular spurns cruel Fate with her unlikely survival, catching the eye of the divines. The nation of Nox is a young, fragile one, one that yearns to stand on the world’s stage, and that girl is no different. This is her tale, through slums and orphanage, through love and void, to thrive in a decaying world. It is the bleakest rituals that create the densest faiths, after all. Has she the mettle, to save poor Nox?

this is 2/3rds of a typical synopsis already. you have half again the wordcount to squeeze in the info from all the rest of your post. pick and choose wisely.

>>25497283
Friendship is a thing
You would have to get remarkably famous for such people to even know your stuff exist, so it's unreasonable to worry about it at this point.

>>25497085
>>25497119
You guys over-value originality. Not every single thing you do has to be best in show. Churning out 10 derivative cliches is still getting 10 finished works under your belt, training yourself in that kind of follow through is invaluable for when you're working on something really challenging.

>>25497262
>I am actually retarded and can't even defend my stupidity so I will pretend it is trolling instead

>>25497291
>Not every single thing you do has to be best in show.
How do I get over this bump? I keep stopping projects because I become too much of a perfectionist and eventually get bored of the concepts I'm working on.

File: file.png (118 KB, 492x617)

118 KB PNG

>>25496774
there is one spelling mistake and one grammatical mistake

>>25497091
folded like an expensive phone

>>25497262
>I did it just to

>>25497293
Phone it in now and then, write some shit you don't care about. Something shallow and just fun enough to hold your attention, just long enough to feel like you did something but not so long that you'll run out of steam. Write some no-stakes short stories to a prompt, write something in a well worn genre where convention takes care of the plot for you, etc etc
Find some successful creatives and look into their shitty early work that no one knows or cares about and remind yourself that you're just in that practice stage at the moment

Do people really re-write a single book like a dozen times and spend years on that one book?

That seems absurd to me.
Especially when most professional writers I can think of put out all kinds of stuff regularly.
Especially workman style writers who do it as a full time job.

Yet most of the stuff I see related to the writing craft is based on the assumption you should spend years polishing one work of writing until someone with some sort of authority tells you it's good enough.

>>25497343
There's a difference between writing for a living and writing on the side. Usually people who write on the side want to make sure the work they put out is really, really good since they can't put stuff out as often as someone who writes for a living.

>>25497343
>most of the stuff I see related to the writing craft is based on the assumption you should spend years polishing one work of writing until someone with some sort of authority tells you it's good enough
I find this amusing, given that most of the stuff I read related to the writing craft is about polishing absolutely horrible turds until they turn into something I would actually pay money to read

if you think all that is "absurd", /wng/ is that way

>>25497366
>implying you read

>>25497265
Nice, it's actually quite fun trying to distill a paragraph from my first draft with the advice in the thread. I'll keep at it

>>25496021
Why didn't you go with them moving into the teapot? I feel like that would've been a way better ending than the foot stuff while also keeping the silliness of the big woman going "you can't be serious"

>>25497284
>>25497280
>criticism: it too long
That tells me nothing? And it's a synopsis not a blurb??? Isn't a synopsis supposed to have more detail than a short little blurb? And why is any of this a bad thing, its a single page for a very long (and dense) story. It accurately reflects the story contained within and what it emphasizes (worldbuilding). This tells me nothing about what you thought about the writing except that the reader is lazy. Was it interesting at least? Armchair readers say "we have no idea, it seemed too long."
Hate this trend of "well you need to start with a punchy action hook to not bore your adhd readers, and have strong character writing pushing everything forward from chapter 1." No I'm not doing an epic flash forward reddit sequence, we're going on the hero's journey and starting with small roots. My hook is the fantasy setting and immersion so I tried describing the setting.

Sorry, it's frustrating to me because I get the point you're trying to make to focus on the main character more but I just fundamentally disagree with it. And I don't get why a synopsis would have to be short compared to a blurb.

File: file.png (681 KB, 480x636)

681 KB PNG

>>25497667
>>25497667
>I just fundamentally disagree with it
At your peril
>And I don't get why a synopsis would have to be short
Mate, I'm just telling you what the general expectation is, based on the typical Goodreads synopsis

>criticism: it too long
>That tells me nothing
That is not the only critique I gave you. I also specifically told you which paragraph to START with, because the last paragraph should have been your FIRST
for example, picrel is the back cover of Heinlein's Starship Troopers. Compare that against your story
You want to buck the trend and write a longer synopsis? my sympathies may be with you, but you must first fulfil the basic requirement of baking the cake BEFORE playing with the icing

I forebore to critique your prose because it would be unfair to do so when the structure itself was fundamentally flawed and I hoped you might write better prose if forced to condense and summarise your words. but since you ask, I agree with >>25497280; your synopsis was breathless but vague, asking a lot of questions but offering no specifics, and showy while being pointless, fancifully purple while committing basic grammatical errors:

>mage artillery
besiege a [noun]
>from afar
"besiege" is the verb form,
"artillery" is the weaponry; "artillery lines" are a place

>All is fought in
accordance
>with the divine patrons of each nation

>To obey the patron’s rituals is power
power is a noun, if you want to play with this kind of asyndetic parallelism, both should be the same word type:
>To slay ... is to slay ...
verb-verb
>Obedience is power
noun-noun

>Thus is the pact between man and divine.
"Thus" used in this way describes how a thing is done, it needs a verb to complete it
e.g. Thus is the pact sealed, Thus is the pact forged, Thus is the pact enshrined, etc
>divine.
is an adjective, not a noun. "Divinity" is what you were looking for,

>Armchair readers
First ensure your writing is free from basic errors, then come at me with that shit.

>>25497712
>siege
Is also a verb

>accordance
Whoops, thank you

>parallelism
It's three-fold, not two. Verb-noun, verb-verb, noun-noun. I could probably optimize it but why get hung up there

>thus
Applies to the previous sentence

>divine
Is also a noun. You know, like 'the three divines' or 'by the nine divines, assault, assault!'

>pic you posted
It is my understanding that a blurb is to quickly hook readers and a synopsis is to describe the overall story to a potential publisher or interested party

Bunch of nitpicks, and grammar is a malleable thing. Missing the point a little. Not really impressed. And armchair reader was just because I don't think anyone engaged with the actual premise.

Calling it vague does engage with the premise though. But isn't a mystery meant to ask questions? Aren't questions hooks of their own? You read on because you want to see the answer to the questions, right?

I'm uncertain. Maybe its a target audience mismatch here

>>25497764
NTA but I think YOU are missing the point that no one can gather a premise from your synopsis. So it didn’t work. Just make a better one. You use an entire paragraph to say that there’s a power inversion as a result of something happening. That deserves maybe a sentence. The flowery exposition isn’t what makes a synopsis good. The other anon is right, this is too vague while also being too specific somehow? And the last paragraph is solid fr fr.

>>25497764
>Not really impressed
Good luck.

>>25497764
Are you writing for yourself or are you trying to make something that other people will enjoy

She told him to remove the pillow and go lower. She lifted her dress and sat on him, all-enveloping. She told him to breathe in deeply and to taste through the cotton her womanhood, that his only purpose was to worship it. His heart was violent but there was a lightness in his chest. The stiffness in him withdrew to one point. She gave it a few caresses, said it was okay. When she felt he had relaxed enough she lifted herself off him, smoothed her dress and sat where she had before. Thank you, he said, over and over.

>>25497283
Sounds like Yuri to me. Definitely a market for that and those people love to ship and write fanfic / draw lewds for the characters so I think it could be marketable.

>>25497266
The hell is that first sentence even trying to say? Sounds like it's trying to sound deep when it's not at all. Yes you can go and leave places, the fuck does that have to do with anything?

>>25496399
Embrace the cheese. That is the heart of noir. If it ain't cheesy it ain't noir.

>>25497851
This feels like it was made for women. Make it less flowery and more carnal and dominatrix, then you'd have something for men.

>>25497807
Myself first and foremost, and then my target audience is people with similar tastes to me

>>25497803
Well I am confused, too. I just wasn't convinced by the initial posts. Starting to be convinced now though.

I mean I guess I could just focus it all down to the last paragraph. But then the problem is it's just slow. I don't really have any immediate hooks. The world is going insane and the protagonist grows into something from a starting place of nothing, wow. It's not saying much. It's not really character driven as it is world driven. I feel like if I don't warn people about the miserable worldbuilding they'll complain.

I'll rethink it, I guess

>>25497912
I think that anon is a woman, I have no idea what "His heart was violent but there was a lightness in his chest" is supposed to mean, it does not feel like a male/me thought.

>>25497919
>"His heart was violent but there was a lightness in his chest" is supposed to mean,
I think it means that his heart was beating rapidly while his actual chest itself felt pleasant.

>>25494375
would definitely read more, great prose! "all plots are grave plots" is sick, hammers itself in more a few paragraphs later on your next use of "plot". "cigar smoke clouds puffed down by the man on the moon" is awesome. also love that it skips classical exposition and uses reflection in the car for characterization, the car acting like a portal between physical locations but also between phase of life and state of being, across the heros journey "threshold". noir without coming off cheap and derivative, high-brow but doesn't enter pseud territory. good work!!

>>25497277
Intentionally slow starts are never a good idea. Your potential readers simply have too many options. Seems like many of them are more into short-form video, e.g. TikTok. You have to hook them immediately or they'll drop you.

>>25497291
I already said I'm bored with that. I don't care if I don't produce a massive volume of derivative pablum; I'd rather write what I feel like writing.

>>25497292
I wasn't even trolling. Touchy, aren't you?
>>25497297
I was just trying to say there are no rules with how to produce written works, except for basic ones like spelling and grammar. I'm sorry that caused you to have a meltie.

>>25497343
That's the difference between the cathedral and the bazaar, i.e. between credentialed MFA types, and people who want to write stuff others will actually read. I would never polish a book for years. I get to a point where I can't find anything significantly wrong with it, then self-publish it & move on to something else.

>>25497283
Yuri bait is 100x more powerful than actual yuri, but also cowardly in spirit. If your heart is pure, go for it

>>25497958
Yeah... lesson learned. My hope was that the dialogue and the hidden stuff would be interesting enough until the actual inciting incident. I can visualize it all in my head, and it works for me, but I've also been working on it for months, so...
With enough rewriting, I could probably fix it, but idk if it's worth the effort. Will probably move on to another idea.

>>25498032
You literally have to design your plots around the idea of narrative drive, i.e. maintaining the feeling that something compelling is about to happen, so that your reader continues reading. I couldn't make it past page 19, but is there something that happens later, that you can foreshadow by giving glimpses of it? One property of screenplays that novels don't enjoy is being able to change the location quickly, and not stay there very long. Use that to foreshadow whatever catastrophe these women are walking into unawares.

>>25496899
>erm ackshually
If you get shot in the arm with a rifle there's a fucking minuscule chance that you will not need a tourniquet.
I watched enough combat footage, retard. Guns aren't airshit.

>>25498047
>I watched enough combat footage
t. admitted armchair general

>>25498048
Yeah sorry to say I do not have experience in receiving gunshot wounds you fucking tard.

>>25496889
Synopses are supposed to be vague, because their purpose is to arouse interest, not to explain everything in detail. If people want details, they have to read the book. Why would anybody read the book if you spoil everything in the synopsis? There's a proper time and place for being vague, it's not inherently bad.

>>25498043
Thanks. I think part of the problem is I structured it like a horror movie, where I try to build suspense and dread while delaying the reveal of the antagonist. But it's not a horror movie so it doesn't make sense. I'm thinking about the structure of Die Hard: the terrorists aren't mentioned until page 14, they shoot the guard on 18, and take over the party on 21. (I don't remember if it's the same timing in the actual film). In mine, the protagonists "meet" the antagonists on page 24. Obviously, Die Hard was better written and has more going on in act 1 than just waiting for the terrorists to attack. Also, that was from the 80s, so...
I've thought about explicitly showing the bad guys doing stuff earlier (rather than just hinting that they're hiding). Maybe that would help, idk. My next idea is an actual horror film, but I'll try to frontload it better, even if I still do delay the big "monster reveal".
Anyway, thanks again.

>>25498092
Yet you pretend to be an authority on the subject.

>>25497764
>and a synopsis is to describe the overall story to a potential publisher or interested party
That is correct, but you are very, very mistaken if you think they are going to read a synopsis that long. Your entire query letter should fit on a single page, and that includes not only your synopsis, but your author bio and your sales pitch. You have one paragraph, a hundred or so words maybe, to synopsize your story.

How many query letters do you suppose a publisher or agent receives in a week? What do you think the reaction is to getting a query letter with 2+ pages? They quickly scan the first couple paragraphs and if they don't get any useful info it goes into the recycling pile. They won't even open your manuscript.

>>25498236
That's what I tried but everyone cooked my shit for it so I have no idea

>>25498251
>How many query letters do you suppose a publisher or agent receives in a week?
I'm not gonna lie, even in the age of AI slop I'm guessing not many, seeing how slow this board is compared to other hobbyist boards like video games. And furthermore, it is their literal job to read and sift the wheat from the chaff, and help spot and nurture any potential. If they gloss over something potentially good just because it's an extra page long I'm not even sure I'd want their help in the first place. They clearly lack any sort of discerning eye whatsoever. And shouldn't a writer be equally choosy with his publishers/agents too? Or is the market so dire we're all in 'beggars can't be choosers' mindset?

>>25498245
Please never touch a gun if you think you need to get shot to know what a gun can do.

>>25498265
>not many
even Baen Books' turnaround time is stated to be a year and that if you're lucky
>it is their literal job
and you think that would stop them from slacking off? does it stop you?

File: pepe.jpg (18 KB, 469x452)

18 KB JPG

>>25498266
Way too late for that, pencil neck.

>>25498265
I can tell you've never submitted anything to an agent, let alone a publisher. Their "job" is to find winning prospects, and their sheer volume of query letters they receive weekly makes it virtually impossible for their staff to spend more than mere minutes on each one. It can take months to get a response from an agent, and publishers (the ones that actually allow unsolicited query letters) can take even longer, simply because of how long it takes for them to go through their inbox.

I'm simply informing you that it is standard for a query letter to fit on a single page, and to have space left over. You're free to to write the longest query letter you like, and see how far that gets you.

>>25498293
Well I did say "guessing", was it that obvious?

>mere minutes on each one
Did it really take minutes to read what I posted? And what else do I gotta say, beyond "hi i'm a nobody with a dark fantasy novel to sell you, here's the synopsis"? That's my entire sales pitch

>>25498306
>Did it really take minutes to read what I posted?
I'm baffled by this question. Do you expect somebody to simply scan your synopsis without bothering to read it closely, then rubber stamp it for approval without any consideration? First you act like it's the job of agents and publishers to carefully consider and nurture every unsolicited submission, now you're acting like it shouldn't take more than a few seconds to read your several paragraphs of synopsis, when the standard for such things is considerably less so. Why are you entitled to special treatment?

You seem to also not appreciate how the submissions process works. At a publishing house, the person who reads your query letter when it arrives is not an editor. It's a lowly peon whose job it is to go through the deluge of submissions and throw away everything that doesn't meet submissions standards or follow the posted guidelines (which are always available to you on the website of the publisher or agent). They simply do not have time to waste on people who can't follow simple instructions or keep to standard conventions for the publishing business. They don't know you from Adam, they have no reason to cut you any slack. If you can't follow instructions, your query letter doesn't get past the spam filter.

Of course, you can also be rejected for other reasons too, such as your proposed book not fitting the publisher or agent (e.g. pitching a gritty adult fantasy story to an agent who mainly reps YA and kidlit), or not providing enough information to be a workable query, or simply being horrendously stupid sounding (you'd be shocked at what people submit). But if you somehow get past the filter, then you get added to a pretty sizable stack of letters that goes upstairs to an acquisitions editor, whose job it is to actually read them for analysis and make a judgment call on whether to reject, request more info, or send an offer.

>>25498324
hey you seem to know your stuff
what's a good pub house for a first-timer to publish military SF in? I can put women and coloureds in but no lesbos and fags

>>25498330
What country? I'm afraid my experience is mostly limited to west coast of the US, which is smalltime publishers compared to the east coast. I wouldn't be surprised if the really big firms are using AI for submissions, now.

My recommendation is to not have your heart set on one publisher or one agent, though. Always read the guidelines, and if they don't prohibit you from simultaneously submitting to other agents / publishers, then go for it. Always follow the guidelines, do whatever they tell you to do to give your query the best chance of ending up on an editor's desk instead of in the shredder.

Also, do a bit of research, especially for agents, to personalize the query to them a little bit. You don't have to blow smoke up their ass, they're just a middleman you want to do business with, but make it clear you know who they are and what their work history is, in a sentence or two.

>>25498344
Thank you
>What country
American, British, or Australian, I suppose. are there any others which are into English science fiction?
if you're concerned they'll make me write in US spelling instead, on that I'm flexible, though I naturally write in British English
but I can always do a spellcheck pass
>You don't have to blow smoke up their ass, they're just a middleman you want to do business with, but make it clear you know who they are and what their work history is, in a sentence or two
and thanks again, that's very practical advice

>>25498324
I didn't say a few seconds. It's a single page, it takes a minute to read fully, it takes less than that to reject for whatever reason. Man, you are making weird, uncharitable assumptions. Really assuming I'm just gonna send out copy paste shit to the wrong people instead of finding the proper genre audience and following the proper procedures. You tailor your resume to the job after all. I literally said first "shouldn't a writer be equally choosy with his publishers/agents too?" We're literally in agreement, that's just common sense.

So why is it so odd to think that a gritty adult grand fantasy spanning multiple books doesn't expect the same brevity in synopsis as some YA kidlit? I'm sure they have different standards and qualities they're looking for. A denser genre would need a denser synopsis, no?

Man, how did I get roped into this argument. I just wanted feedback on if the synopsis is interesting or too vague, not advice on fucking tailoring it to be a marketing tool

>>25498390
NTA, but do you want my feedback? It's way too wordy. It sound like a female wrote it. Someone else said to just use the last paragraph. I tend to agree.

File: VHaVXY3h.jpg (119 KB, 1024x768)

119 KB JPG

>>25497974

File: putting-things-in-perspec(...).png (552 KB, 640x918)

552 KB PNG

>>25497667
>And it's a synopsis not a blurb???
For what purpose though? Is this meant to exist as a full summary of the book, or enticement to read the book? Because it's neither, so I'm having trouble understanding the intent

>And why is any of this a bad thing
Because no one's reading all that shit, especially when it's not saying anything tangible

>This tells me nothing about what you thought about the writing except that the reader is lazy.
The reader IS lazy, this is why shit like loglines exist, for people who won't even read beyond one line unless that line fucking slaps

You need to recognise that we exist in a world overflowing with wannabee writers, no one's gonna give you the time of day unless you give them a reason to. If you're this sensitive about a simple synopsis (which is supposed to be the boring part) idk what that means for your ability to take feedback on your actual writing
Look at Wing, he's taken blows on his blurb for like 4 threads in a row now, and it keeps getting better as he decides what criticism to take on board and how to implement it

>>25497764
>Not really impressed.
Bruh why are you critiquing someone's critique lmao, YOU'RE the one trying to impress US. So sorry if the free help you've asked for isn't up to snuff. Don't get me wrong, you're absolutely free to disregard it as worthless retardation as you see fit, but copping this attitude about it doesn't bode well for your prospects. Keep writing, but I wouldn't risk exposing yourself to readers or publishers until you've grown up a bit lest you torch your reputation/self-esteem prematurely. To give some grace, I'm guessing you're young, we've all been there, there's a learning curve to accepting critique just like there is with writing

>Calling it vague does engage with the premise though. But isn't a mystery meant to ask questions? Aren't questions hooks of their own?
A write up about a mystery will still identify the key players

>You read on because you want to see the answer to the questions, right?
I for one didn't read on
It seems anon did in order to try and help you

>>25498265
>And furthermore, it is their literal job to read and sift the wheat from the chaff, and help spot and nurture any potential. If they gloss over something potentially good just because it's an extra page long I'm not even sure I'd want their help in the first place. They clearly lack any sort of discerning eye whatsoever.
Lost cause

>>25498629
>melting down and devolving into curses again because their bad opinion is called out as bad

God damn are you the most sensitive critic I have ever seen.

>>25498638
What?

>>25498629
Why does anyone give two shits about Hollywood anymore? They're going down the tubes. For instance, an indie horror movie, made for $750,000, just grossed $500M worldwide. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMC8kkwbIQQ

>>25498629
>>25498432
I get the point. It just wasn't a convincing point. I won't shorten it, yet.

I just don't get how I can go on the fucking reading board and the kneejerk feedback I'm getting is "Yeah I didn't read it lol too long". That just tells me nothing man of course I'm gonna dismiss your stupid asses. Aren't you guys ashamed? Articulate yourself. "Hmm I didn't read it but here's a lesson you could learn bucko!" And then when challenged on this, you guys have the gall to tell me siege is not a verb and divine is not a noun as a desperate attempt to try and find any flaw for credibility.

Genuinely think some of you are ESL you should go read some Gene Wolf or something. Spend some time with the dictionary

>>25498651
But I *did* read it. If you don't want feedback, don't ask for it.
I'm going to chalk this up as yet another example of the most common pattern I see in /wg/:
>What do you think of this?
>It needs work.
>NOOOOOOO it's the crown of creation how dare UUUUUUUU

>>25498650
>Why does anyone give two shits about Hollywood anymore?
Prestige.
Same reason people still care about literary prizes and mainstream publishing despite both being ruined by rich liberal white women with bad politics.

>>25498658
No, I want high quality feedback. I don't care if you like it or dislike it just make sense AT LEAST. Just as there's amateur writers, there's amateur critics. You can make your case and I can make my defense. Why are the critics scared of being criticized?

>>25498658
The only pattern is you having a bitch fit.

Stop trolling and actually read books.

>>25498651
>That just tells me nothing man
It tells you that it's too long/vague