I'm losing my fucking mind.

Is there anyone else here who feels like the world is a much smaller place as an adult? I remember being 14 and there were just millions of things I wanted to do once I had the chance. Now I'm an adult and 1-2 things interest me at a time, if I'm lucky.

>>25532874
it all started with the ek threads. hm why not give philosophy a go, novels are too easy, amirite?

so i opened up hegel's pos, then took a look at kant, then delved into schop, had a gander at BaT, and now i've arrived at wittgenstein's PI. i have lost all ability to communicate with other human beings, my wife has left me, and she took the dog

>>25532885
I hate this, I do this really. But the reading isn't performative (I hope!). I'm fed up with being in my room, and I fancy a coffee, so I'm forced to sit in range of a snarky woman with an Iphone camera, mulling the prospect of lampooning me online. Often I read on my phone.

dude it's insane how boring life is when you're not going through a protagonist moment. i miss taking walks at 5 AM back in february and burning incense while i went on obsessive deep dives to plan out my next massive project

>>25532910
Isn't bipolar disorder fun?

>>25532894
I remember wanting to go to Ukraine to meet girls.

>>25532874
I think human sacrifice to theriomorphic or therianthropic gods should be normalized again, especially to dragons. Seems better than being sacrificed to jews.

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Its one thing to lose midterms but losing texas will be the icing on the "we fucked up" cake. Trump will become an irrelevant lame duck president, possibly impeached again and investigated for corruption. Vance will be tarred and feathered by association, he will lose in 2028, whether it be primary or general. Trump losing the midterms, fucking the economy and starting a war in iran will all transfer to vance.

maga will be over, the old neocons will retake the GOP, while the DSA will take over the democrat party. GOP will rebrand as "the adults in the room" while democrats will screech about giving free money and abortions to black latina handicapped otherkin or something. and then a republican will win in 2032.

the trump years have meant nothing.

Im reminded of the ending of american psycho.

"This confession has meant nothing"

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>>25532894
> I remember being 14 and there were just millions of things I wanted to do once I had the chance. Now I'm an adult and 1-2 things interest me at a time, if I'm lucky.

For me it’s more like when I was younger I had more time ahead of me, so I was more hopeful for the future. Now I don’t see anything aspirational about what’s coming. If I really wanted to achieve something, I should’ve done it by now.

i wish i was beautiful but i'm not

i don't wanna use a meme word to describe my personality like "xD i'm bipolar!!!!" or "i'm autistic!!!!! rawr :3"
probably it's more accurate to say i'm just always trippin
like i can't just play a video game for 5 hours and be like "that was fun!" instead i get up from the game and notice my limbs have gone stiff and i'm like, "Ahh it finally happened. You turned into that tired old man who sits down and plays games as a substitute for real life, you're hooked up to a steady dopamine drip now, mindlessly pressing buttons for a simulated reward, while ignoring the real potential within you, ignoring all those special moments you had during childhood, moments when you knew you could be something great, you're basically already old and dead, you're like those old men you saw as a kid who used to endlessly watch m*a*s*h reruns. it's over."
My brain is just always like this 24/7. lol

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>>25532913

>>25532995
His best album btw

>>25532874
Women probably think I'm a performative male because I read and wear a tote bag and dress somewhat alternatively, but when they meet me I am open about my political opinions and scare them off.

>>25533024
you're in NYC right?

>>25533026
Nah, South East England. Kind of near London but I hate that third world slum so I avoid it.

Literally crazy how much of a loser I have always been, but it says a lot when I still say I just want to leave this world behind anyways.

>>25532996
thx anthony fantano

I seriously think God put those NPCs in my life to do maximum damage to me. Loss in every possible way due to my own actions but I didn’t deserve everything that came after.

>>25532994
All over the place non sequitur shaggy dog story of a post

my long-time online friend has a shitty philopshy youtube channel, exurb1a wannabe esque. He doesn't know that I know of it, I went out of my way to find it it and its so bad how do I keep being friends with him

I want to soak up the sun.

guys i’m starting to think my best friend has found my philosophy youtube channel.

>>25533075
Take refuge in Tiktok!

Can’t jack off rn because I literally ripped the skin (meme reference) again due to the fact I’m still restoring my foreskin.

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>>25533070
Yeah that's how everything feels these days honestly.
I could sit here and bare to the room the deepest depths of my soul, the most immediate and heartfelt emotions that I have, and I would get nothing in return but blank stares and confusion. I'm not sure I can even convey to you guys what this feels like.

It would be like if your girlfriend just broke up with you, so you tell your friend, and then he's like "Huh? You're sad your gf broke up with you...?" and he's just sitting there looking at you like you're retarded. And you just respond being like, "No, dude, it's just... well you know she meant a lot to me and all..." and he just looks at you like you're completely insane, even though to you this is such an obvious and true and real feeling that you don't even second guess telling someone else about it.

That's what it feels like talking to you guys. Like there's an entire side of myself I can never, ever share with other people because they just look at me like I'm crazy when I mention it. Even though to me these feelings are as real as anything else. I wonder if that makes me some kind of mystic or a genius, or alternatively deeply mentally ill...? I dunno. Most people tend to jump the gun and say, "Oh yeah you're bipolar/schizo/blah blah blah". But I dunno, I feel I'm pretty reasonable, no? I just have a set of feelings you don't have, if that makes sense.

I am ready.

Think I embarrassed myself by drunnkenly texting this girl I'm seeing how obsessed I am with her. She reciprocated but today has been cold. Why are they like this?

Autumn is here, so it feels like time to switch from the summer reading plan to something else but I cant make a decision on what.

>>25533088
I did arguably the most pathetic thing a man can do by lovebombing over a hundred messages with no response. That’s my personality tho independently of that. Am I embarrassed? Well, those messages were read by others and no one said they were embarrassing so not really.

Goal for the day: use “eeriegardless” in a sentence. If irregardless is a made-up word, then “eeriegardless” is extra made-up.

It’s Aphex time.

>>25533100
Sometimes you just have to get your intense feelings out there. Some girls like it, others don't. I think this girl I'm seeing does, but she's impossible to gauge. One day she's very intense, other days she's cold and indifferent.
You should never be embarrassed by what you feel.

I’m so real you can call me reality

I am thinking a mixture of frasurbane and dark academia this cold season. Maybe a big Dickens read beside the fire place. 90s ambient jazz. Maybe a little bit snobby.

>>25533178
> Maybe a little bit snobby.
Just a bit, because it’s definitely not something that Pinterest is churning out in great volume.

>>25533178
>>25533199
Please don’t get mad. I’m mean, but it’s my brainrot speaking.

>>25533178
I need this, and a study with a cigar. Fall leaves outside, my wife lingering around.

>>25533199
>>25533201
>>25533206
It does seem the perfect aesthetic to cultivate this cold season.

I am visiting family it in the US, my cousin (although she twice or three times removed) and I bonded deeply on my first day here over literature and Shakespeare. We slept together. I’m thinking of writing about it. À la Theo of Golden style.

>>25533215
Too bad I live in the humidity hellhole.

>>25533232
Hot. What does she look like?

>>25533232
Let’s listen to what cousin fucker has to say here

>>25533234
My sympathies :(

>>25533245
I plan on moving up to the North East eventually, ill get my fall experience one day.

Is anyone here looking forward to new Harry Potter? What’s y’all’s opinion?

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>>25532874
I genuinely relate to Tony Soprano. Especially in this scene.

It's hard being white.

>>25533240
Curvy. Big jugs! Big butt!
Highly educated. A hundred thousand dollar education. Whereas I am a bum. Living the bum life.

>>25533283
Because you're balding?

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Llllaaaadieees aaaand gentlemen, I present to you: the world's top five MOST RAPED kikeslaves!

Number one, the scourge of Europe, the one who challenged them all, the country which rose like a phoenix— only to die like a dog: Germany!
Number two, the little brother, the underdog, the one who never dies alone: Austria!
Number three, the ultimate guinea pig, the divided, the conquered, the mentally broken: Japan!
Number four, the one who gave it up all for no reason but greed, the Rothschield's biggest friend, the suicide bomber of Europe: The United Kingdom!
Number five, the gigantic golem, home to the goodest of goyim, the destroyer of Christianity: The United States of America!

Thank you, thank you; it's been a pleasure.

>>25532874
I just realised my parents have empty nest syndrome, moved out ages ago though
They’re always against me going interstate and frequently get angry if I don’t do what I’m told still
And I’m almost 30

>>25533358
Or maybe they argue with their mother and attend therapy for not to black out in the middle

>>25533365
I’m nearly 36 and I gave up. It’s too late anyways.

>>25532885
Fortunately I'm good-looking, so instead of performative, I'm that really cute guy who reads.

>>25533365
That just means they love you.

>>25533375
Maybe these parents just feel like they’ve lost meaning or control. Midlife crisis and all that.
>>25533383
It’s pretty embarrassing but I only stayed at my parents house until 24, and spent all my time in postgrad study, because a psychiatrist said it’d be good for me
Coulda spent my mid-twenties actually having fun

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i really genuinely think i need an 800 horse chevelle and quiet open roads all to myself to be happy in life and i don't think anything else will do it

>>25533392
>Coulda spent my mid-twenties actually having fun
That's what the rest of your life could be. Compare to me: I spent my 20s having fun and now I'm 31 and I'm starting from scratch (less than scratch, really).

I'm 30 and I feel like I've lost all ambition. Do people actually make it as an author nowadays?

>>25533399
find out
https://lareviewofbooks.org
https://www.nybooks.com
https://www.lrb.co.uk

>>25533396
You’re alright. I think you’re supposed to spend your twenties fucking around. I don’t have any good memories except when I was a teen. And money isn’t everything.

>>25533406
I think it's natural to always wonder what could of been, grass always greener and all that. Me, I look at people like you who didn't fuck around and wish that was me, so it goes both ways.

All I'm saying is, you're still young, you can do anything you want, and since your younger self was responsible, you now have a solid base from which to do it.

>>25533399
Why do you want that? Is it important to you to be successful in the eyes of others?
I’ve been writing earnestly since 2023 and only made peanuts compared to how much effort I put in. I don’t even count as a pro rate story writer since I’ve only sold one story that was 10c a word and the rest were semi pro rates at about 4c.

>>25533410
>Is it important to you to be successful in the eyes of others?
It's a pretty intoxicating feeling.

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love loves to love love!

>>25533415
The object of writing should be the craft, in my opinion, but if you want to get recognised, aim for literary prizes for debut novels or manuscripts. I knew a woman who got shortlisted for a major publisher’s novel manuscript prize and now she’s famous on TikTok.

reminder: if you don't read contemporary fiction or poetry, you're never gonna make it

>>25533410
I want to escape my current career, writing seems to be my only available avenue to do that right now.

>>25533432
Just write 1000 words a day until you have 1,000,000 words, then release a serialised novel(s) on Kindle Unlimited.

this is my dogs favourite song

https://youtu.be/SyaBgJnoZtw

>>25533080
I'm no psychologist, but if you ever feel like the only person capable of feeling what you're feeling, writing a diary/journal is worth taking up. I know the sensation you mean, the sense that your tongue isn't "well-oiled" enough (to borrow from Montaigne), or that what you feel runs so deep and so innate that no amount of eloquence could shape it into words without you sounding like some kind of mystic.

My recommendation for the diary is that it shouldn't become a machine for venting through prose. Use it to record what happened, and try to stay concise about that. With your general musings and ruminations, though, go wild. Immortalize every thought, developed or half-formed.

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I'm gonna go for a walk. pic is a cat with beautiful fur I saw yesterday; I could not get it to approach me.

Now just to figure out which albums to listen to on my walk... most of my favorite ones are already used up, I can't stand to listen to them anymore.

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>>25532874
i wonder if the fall of Rome was so gay and retarded like the West (and big portion of the World) is right now

>>25533483
Listen to Ants From Up There by Black Country, New Road.

>>25533487
That band has been on my list! Every time I check RYM and its top charts for recommendations, I see one of their albums ranks almost at the very top of this decade, and I keep meaning to listen to it. This time I will. Thanks.

>looks up album you named
Oh, that *is* the album I keep seeing on the chart lol. Fine, I will peep! I'll report back in 45.

There's got to be a vagabond artist commune in this city I can join, right?

>>25533488
Enjoy it, it's one of my favorites.

>>25533498
Just got back. It was pretty good, albeit a little too mellow for my walks, I prefer something with a beat, so around Halden or whatever it's called I changed to something else. I did enjoy it though! Thanks again.

I keep having dreams where I get tortured. I don't like it. Sometimes I'm able to escape or outright cheat the system, but it never lasts; once I achieve total freedom, it's like the level or situation resets and I'm right back into the torture chamber or locked back into another building chased by those who want to hurt me. Often my only recourse is to force wake myself up,

>>25533562
Oscar Wilde writes about this. You need to get tortured for real to free your mind.

>>25533564
Hmm, okay. Later today I'll try hitchhiking and hopefully I get picked up by someone willing to give me the real deal.

>>25533567
Go get gotten, tiger.

>>25533571
They'd be the tiger, I'm the poor victimized lamb or doe. But thank you.

I told a girl I'm an aspiring writer and she asked if I had written anything and I said oh sure several short stories and a novel and she said she wants to come over tomorrow and would love to read some of it but I have nothing. Nothing! HELP

>>25533592
kek

>>25533479
I already write diaries.

It's hit a point where I feel like Pessoa or Kafka, and I have this entire dimension of myself that I'm never allowed to show others. Not because it's reprehensible but because it's so baffling to people who aren't me that they start to view me like a skinwalker. Like that Good Old Neon essay that David Foster Wallace wrote, I think that essay might have genuinely been a description of the life he was forced to live, but if you're actually the guy who's forced to live that life, then you know _damn well_ that you're not allowed to admit that or tell a single soul that yes, this is actually the life I'm forced to live every day. You gotta be really, really subtle and even coy about it. And at the end of the day you don't get a damn thing in return.

I'm just not going to take the Pessoa route. That's too 20th century. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna solve it. Why aren't we trying to solve shit like this? I have no idea. I'll never call myself a genius because that sounds too arrogant but the bare minimum I get (if I can't call myself a genius) is that I get to call everyone else short-sighted, close-minded, and unambitious, because why else are we not trying to answer questions like this? Why are all of you concerned with fucking women all the time? And so little concerned with answering questions like these? If I'm --not-- a genius, or a special person or whatever, how do you explain the fact that I'm constantly coming up with theories about shit that none of you care about, while you're watching shitty new movies and obsessing over women? I come up with theories all the time, and no one ever wants to help hash them out. Why? If AI is so bad and the future is so bleak, then why don't you wanna help theorize an alternate future? If society is truly fucked (which you guys proclaim all the time), then why don't you guys want to plan a new one? Wouldn't that be the logical next move.....?

It gets to a point, truly. I have -- truly -- no interest in seeing the rest of the human race as a bunch of cattle. But if all of you are going to act like cattle, then what choice do I have? Human behavior is, "There's a problem; let's fix it". Cattle behavior is "Let's idle in the field and wait until the farmer slaughters us". Are most of you acting like humans now, or are you acting like cattle? Be honest.

>>25533538
I'm glad you liked it. It definitely does get pretty melancholy.

A phone conversation between my mother and myself
>Your cousin gave birth succesfully! We're giving them some space she's really emotional right now!
>'Oh my God that's wonderful! It makes sense she's so happy and emotional considering her previous complications!'
>Huh?
>'No that's great! Tell her I'm so happy for her! I can't wait to meet him!'
>Oh right because she had that horrible miscarriage where they had to remove the head and the body seperately, she's still been going to therapy for that. Anyways, talk to you soon!
I mean really

>>25533626
Seems fine.

>>25533592
I think you made a mistake. If you have nothing to read her you should just come clean, tell her that you misrepresented what you do in the heat of the moment because you wanted to impress her, and apologize for your lapse of judgement. You have made an honest mistake, and there's nothing wrong with that. This is a respectable way out, and I hope you take it.

once again, /lit/ is a classical board
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZJethIZRY8

>>25533634
This shit actually goes hard and I always appreciate your (or those of you) who illuminate thread with such music

>>25533637
<3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiS-MQV6QwM

The US Civil War is starting to seem a continuation of the English reformation. Reconstruction cut along some of the same ethnic and socioeconomic lines.

I sometimes think and have an urge to be a father, but the more I think on it I feel like I'm just grasping for a glimpse at childhood again.

Man I’m 30 and poor and I want to go back to college but even after all this time I can’t really figure out what to do. Career aspirations seem hopeless and pointless at this point. Nothing seems like it’ll even be around in four years let alone something I both have the aptitude to pursue and the desire.
I can only think to be an English major. I already got fucked once by trying to pursue stem and I feel pretty burnt out and jaded with the entire umbrella of STEM. Now that I’m older I just want to follow my interests rather than the pure pragmatism of my youth which amounted to nothing.
I guess I’m just retarded I don’t know. Mind fucked into being a useless poor person

>>25533645
Why are you reading my mind and posting it here

>>25533645
I'm 30 and got my bachelor's in English a year ago.
I haven't really done much with it.

>>25533629
I've got other stories. Finally learning to overcome it but DAMN ARE THESE PEOPLE NOT GENERALLY LISTENING OR PAYING ATTENTION
I have learned to use repetition in threes to get points across, and to design those statements in concise writing. My father the other day invited himself to ask me what I paid in mortage, and my response was 'I pay $xxxx a month and roll insurance and everything else in and pay $xxxx' and he interrupted my answer to his question three times before I was able to get to the very first number in that sentence, to continue his other thoughts. So I switch to PS3 NPC mode. 'Alright, M', they joke about it now. You cut out our sentence as soon as they interrupt it, and then start from the beginning using a connective sentence fragment. I wait for pauses, and say, 'So, to answer your question', and then continue into ''I pay $xxxx a month and roll insurance and everything else in and pay $xxxx'. Took me three additional times doing that before he let me finish the sentence, and when he did, he said 'wow! that's crazy, I had no idea, that actually makes a huge difference!' and its like, I'm pulling teeth. It's great but I'm learning exactly how these teeth are pulled. Call me an apprentice dentist, I'm learning to become a master of pulling teeth

>>25533645
Hey me too. Except I only want to go get an English degree for the fun of it. And maybe pursue an MFA later.

>>25533663
Amusingly written. That's just part and parcel of the parent relationship for many.

>>25533670
I'm charmed you found it amusingly written because it's actually a completely candid and true first draft journal entry.

>>25533672
The combination of frustration and bafflement is ripe for creative nourishment.

>>25533666
I'm debating the MFA as well. I work in higher education currently, and could get one for free basically.

My internal monologue just started violently screaming beyond my control.
That's probably not good.
Though it is pretty cool how cognitive malfunctions like this have intricate dynamics that make them more convincing.
Screaming will noticeably exhaust itself and begin sobbing before it starts screaming again.
Real spooky shit, but it's honestly kind of annoying now.

>>25533676
You make a good point, I do think this is my best and most favorite voice. Which is one of, 'HELLO', 'HUH', *snaps fingers* 'I'M TALKING TO YOU'. *has a bunch of extra time waiting for this idiot to notice* EXCUSE ME SIR. YOU'RE STANDING IN THE- YES SIR I'M AWARE I'M YELLING SIR YOU'RE STANDING IN THE- YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE HIT BY A- YES SIR ITS NOT NICE TO YELL AT A STRANGER SIR- YOU'RE ABOUT TO- YES SIR IT IS A LOVELY DAY MOVE NOW THERE IS A TRUCK SIR SIR THERE IS A TRUCK SIR SIR MOVE OUT OF THE STREET THERE IS A TRUCK
>raving bystander charged as accomplice to vehicular manslaughter
pardon my vanity

>>25533663
>>25533626
You sound autistic and spergy and I don't (necessarily) mean that as an insult. Others aren't obligated to cater to your particular communication style.

>>25533637
I dislike them, other's music and links are not thoughts.

>>25533645
Im 32 and i have my STEM Master's I finished at 24. But I burnt out once during college and couple of times already during work. I feel dissilusioned with the work, like I dont actually make any difference at all nor do i do actually anything useful for people yet managers and bosses are all always hurrying me and theyre making it very stressful. Im currently a neet and ive been a neet as much as ive been at a job ever since i graduated. I dont see myself in tech in the future. I dont see myself in the workforce really. My life is pretty much over. And I did the degree to make my parents happy but that didnt work out. Its forced.
So yeah if anything now you know that even if you do everything right and get the degree in time like everyone, things dont have to work out for you anyway.

I've identified the bird outside my window as a California Scrub-Jay. It is blue, and it makes squawking noises. I think it may be a state agent.

>>25533694
Nah that's one of my subcontractors. Private sector.

Can anyone help me with my joke?

Michel Foucault, Francis Fuknyama and a dyslexic walk into a bar.
They fuck all the lamas.

They both have surnames with syllables that sound like "fuck" in them. I'm sure there's a good joke somewhere.

>>25533691
Is that what I said? Is not your only data point, a story where I powered through frustration to communicate with my parents' difficult communication pattern? Was my story not centered around personal solutions that bypass any expectation from the other participants, and is in fact designed to handle and tolerate and integrate positive communication with my own unchanging parents? Did I not use this precise method to tell to your deaf ears, THREE TIMES, that we are handling bad fucking listeners? Or shall the of us cut your hostile asses off?

>>25533687
Can I use your identity to do it myself? Thanks in advance.

>>25533701
Or shall the rest* of us
>grabs own jaws through teeth and grips mouth back in forth speaking as many languages possible
HOW PERFECT DO I NEED TO BE TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU

oh wow its only 3pm i usually dont reach this level of depression until 11

>>25533645
I really hate how bad the STEM propaganda was for our age. We basically got sold into a dark age. I’m thinking of a second bachelors because my first went so bad (it was in STEM) but funding is nonexistent for that. I really should have dropped out when I realized where the field was going and how much I hated the jobs but again propaganda. Graduating with a degree was worse for me than dropping out. Insane.

Reading DeLillo, I swear I don't know what the hell he's talking about or describing half the time. Like I appreciate he tries to illustrate things in new and creative ways and sometimes it works and it's beautiful and poetic but other times and it's like "...what? what's that even like"

>>25533701
I made that post because I recognized myself in you. It would have annoyed me as well. I'm saying the annoyance is (probably) your responsibility, not theirs.

>>25533706
>HOW PERFECT DO I NEED TO BE TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU
Less perfect ideally but what you're doing now is fine, serviceable. Thanks for asking.

>>25533645
I majored in STEM and it fucking wrecked my life. I hated it so much. I hated the field and the jobs. I hated my classes. I hated my stunted professors. I got terrible grades and did no internships or extracurriculars and had no friends. I studied it because every fucking time I voiced an interest in humanities I got asked
>what are you going to do with that?
I grew up poor and desperate and knew College was my only shot.
I didn't drop out due to immense pressure from my parents.
I was a scared misguided easily mislead teenager and that ruined me. It destroyed me. Trump was elected during my time at college for context, it was treated like 9/11 on campus with professors giving excuses absences. Then of course I graduated into the worst fucking job market possible (but I already decided I’d rather die then work a tech job before I graduated) and of course STEM jobs weren't an option at all for me with most of them being replaced by my AI.
Now I'm older. I have a worthless paper I'm ashamed of for its symbol as an utter compromise of morals and passion. I wasted my chance. I destroyed myself utterly for nothing.
I wish I could have a second chance at academics and adolescence and really my life in total.
It’s pretty bad. All I do is drown in regret. I go to bed screaming at this point. I’ve honestly prayed for sickness and death just to not have to live out this bad end of a life. I’m a total retard in every way. I have no interest in whatever future I can build for myself because it’ll just be a shitty shack on a compromised foundation. Fuck it. I lose.

>>25533725
Why can't you go back to school?

>>25533725
Which STEM?

>>25533705
I would honestly be up for selling my identity and some non essential organs. I’m in the land of the free though so that’s not allowed so I’m just going to suck shit and be poor forever

>>25533718
You are my friend and I want you you to stop esteeming yourself or the basic challenges and solutions you as a regular human person face as 'autistic'. Whatever part of you saw the working here as an act of autism, and especially whatever part of you thinks they were the autistic subject in that journal entry, is precisely what is keeping you from the free communication they have so wrongfully stolen from you. My source? My mother and father have been getting the picture now because I have finally given them my structures with a confident force I was not able to provide before, to power through their deafness, and now, I am 'smart' and they 'didn't realize'. Goes to show, my friend.

>>25533731
Poverty doesn't exist in the US. Being homeless here is a better life than most people born have ever had.
>THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN THOUGH
Then why did you say it?

>>25533708
>I really hate how bad the STEM propaganda was for our age

In my area there was a whole genre of memes like “engineer smart philologist dumb”. Not gonna lie, as a STEM student I enjoyed that.

>>25533737
cringe and embarrassing post. I mandate you take a three day timeout from posting on /lit/

>>25533740
Thanks for that actually I need to make progress on my lesbian throuple romantasy (spoiler alert they all get turned straight by a man at the end of the book)

See you in three days.

>>25533726
My state school won’t even admit for a second bachelors and FAFSA tells you to go fuck yourself. I only afforded college through all the scholarships for being a good and poor high school student first time in college. All that shit is gone despite me not even using 1/3 of the allotted financial aid since I graduated early too (lol) because second bachelors is persona non grata and even if I value it really highly I just can’t take out tons of debt for what amounts to personal enrichment and maybe a chance at internships

>>25533744
I see. I figured it was something like that. Is there any potential in the community college -> state school route?

>>25533692
On another hand, STEM job probably still pays well and can be comfy sometimes. It’s a job, it serves its purpose.

I'm gonna leave for the library in 30 minutes if anyone wants to meet up :)

>>25533745
No. That’s a route for transfers to pay less and get into selective flagship schools. But I already have all the credits I need and my associates is already from my community college to boot. It’s a blanket policy to not admit people seeking a second bachelors, nothing to do with my GPA or what credits I have. And there’s no funding either way, CC isn’t free.

>>25533754
?

I'm pretty sure CC *is* free. Maybe just in my state. My b.

well, if you already have most of the credits, then you'd only need to take out enough loans to make it through a year or two of classes at most, ye?

>>25533754
>That's a route for transfers to... get into selective flagship schools.
Speak on this. I'm thinking about going to college finally at 31 and debating if I should do the CC transfer route or not.

>>25533729
computers

>>25533666
>>25533687
if i went back id do a mfa

dont see any point in phd its a humiliation ritual at this point and being a professor is a joke and all those conferences just seemed pathetic to me in undergrad

even in stem youre just an undignified monkey dancing for grants and most of your research is just making the world worse if it has any effect at all

I don't get why all of you STEM guys are so depressed. The house I live in with my aunt and her man, his daughter went to college for I think CS and she makes like $125k a year working for Oracle. She drives a Tesla, has a condo in Seattle, and works from home. She's living (her version of) the dream. My parents are constantly admonishing me for not being like her. Why can't you guys achieve that same level of middle-class success?

>>25533774
God, I wish I was a college professor or TA so bad. With my babyface, I'd be able to sleep with literally every female student. Sigh. In the next life.

>>25533762
It’s not free where I am. And graduation speed is not really what I’m valuing here. I’d probably need 3 years since all my credits are bullshit STEM junk and in a perfect world where I’m on a full ride honestly I’d want more. Who cares? I’m not doing anything anyway on the outside here.
>>25533764
Assuming you’re first time. A lot of CCs have a direct deal where you’re automatically admitted into *a* state college once you finish two years. But even whatever your flagship prestigious public university is will give special priority to in state transfers. I’ve seen people absolutely kill themselves in HS getting a perfect GPA and resume still not be admitted to the state flagship, but the guy who put minimum effort in HS and then just prioritized doing decent in the local CC get admitted into a competitive major with scholarships too.

>>25533781
>Assuming you’re first time. A lot of CCs have a direct deal where you’re automatically admitted into *a* state college once you finish two years. But even whatever your flagship prestigious public university is will give special priority to in state transfers. I’ve seen people absolutely kill themselves in HS getting a perfect GPA and resume still not be admitted to the state flagship, but the guy who put minimum effort in HS and then just prioritized doing decent in the local CC get admitted into a competitive major with scholarships too.
Thanks, you give me hope.

And I did do one year of CC before but after getting all A's the first Fall term, I intentionally bombed out of the Spring term so I would be forced to just work on my writing away from a professional job. Obviously I wouldn't go back to the same school, but I should still be eligible to get FAFSA, yeah? Anyway, cool, thanks for the optimistic information.

Do you understand how difficult it is to communicate with you? I mean the flow of getting a point across to you better resembles stages of fucking grief than it does any proper conversation.

>>25533794
>Don't stalk me
Apparently that's too much to ask.

>>25533777
Because we either are or are about to be laid off. There is a certain degree of spoiled whining but things look grim for us, we've seen AI replace us in the small picture if not the large, and many people (not me but I was never super talented either) got degrees and jobs they never should have during COVID and simply aren't cut out for getting another job, let alone being a good employee.
>She drives a Tesla, has a condo in Seattle
>On 125k a year
Lmao she's retarded

>>25533781
I don't think another degree is gonna help you anyway. They're just merit badges at this point, you can learn all of it for free and standards are so abysmal that the pressure to get good grades from "paying for it" isn't that useful. Sink or swim, struggle or die, life was always this way. We all were lied to but nothing we can do about it now.

I comment on Facebook a lot.
Whatever.
You like me. They like me.
I like me.
Let's all get together and eat ice cream.

>>25533799
UBI has to be coming right? Or at least some kind of assistance for people in fields/degrees that have been rugpulled.
You can’t have this many unemployed educated people with degrees and jobs that use to be highly valued five years ago

>>25533807
Holy shit nta but you gotta learn to let go of these crazy hopes. For me it was like six phases of promises of 'debt forgiveness' but who in the fuck ever told you UBI was really coming

I keep getting diet cokes from the fridge and then not opening them. My desk is covered in warm unopened diet cokes

>>25533698
Completely lacking in real connective tissue

My favorite is looking up the Wikipedia article of famous, influential, big-time executives from previous generations and seeing they all have random-ass degrees in whatever, yet still got hired on as an executive anyway because the only qualification was to be a well-spoken white guy. Can't do that anymore.

>>25533803
I think every private college with a lower endowment and minor state colleges is probably going to shut down as people wake up to how worthless a Recognized education is. I use to want to go to college until I realized the college I want to go to doesn’t really exist anymore. The liberal arts departments of the good colleges in this country have been teaching garbage for decades. I’ve looked into a lot of the curriculum and assigned readings All I have to do is look at their products.

Or not even that, you look up some old famous spies in the CIA and turns out they majored in French Literature lol

>>25533817
>tfw most pictures of JP Morgan are of him raging attempting to cane the photographer because he didn't want anyone to see his big fat gross rhinophyma nose
Really satisfying stuff

>>25533705
Just get a job at a college doing literally anything. Most schools offer tuition waivers for employees.

To get my point across, I have learned to use repetition in threes, to apply it in triplicate. Triplicate, repetition. You understand, triplicate, reputation in threes

>>25533774
If it weren't such a hassle to get PhD I would to be a professor. I cant think of a more braindead easy job than being English professor

If I have to say it five times, consider it an SOS.

>>25533826
>You can always tell a bureaucrat, but you can never tell him much.
>Unless you tell him in triplicate.

>>25533820
It's so fucking incredibly bad dude. And it predates COVID. I have no idea what we're going to do if AI*doesn't* automate a shit ton of knowledge work because 90% of American universities seem worthless.

>>25533820
literally just steal the curriculum for St. John’s and you will be better off than nearly every college grad it sucks you can’t be tutored by a wise instructor or discuss it in a seminar but most liberal art departments don’t have the students or professors that you’d want to engage with over this content anyway
it sucks that education is so shitty we have to teach ourselves but at least we can

>>25533807
The West already tried UBI, it was called the ultra-permissive welfare state. They tried it in Europe, and then they let in sixty trillion browns and they ran it into the ground. It only still exists in a few states like Denmark that wisely kept the browns to a minimum, but that's precisely why you also cannot go to Denmark, they are restrictive.

The interesting thing is that all the browns using up all the welfare and social services (and burdening the prison, police, legal, and medical systems in most places at like 90% actual taxpayer net cost) is that they killed the natives' belief in the state too, especially in countries like Germany. 50% of actual ethnic Germans have become soulless worker drudges whose lot in life it is to continue supporting the ailing welfare state so browns can keep enjoying it, until it finally dies for good. 25% of them became predatory upper middle class cunts who actively embrace oligarchy and want a more American style of life in their shit country (and they wan to keep all the browns, this is very crucial). And another 25% became welfare queens like the browns, making the oligarchic 25% snootier and more convinced they need to clamp down on the welfare queen 25% (while allowing the browns to continue abusing the system forever of course) and that the 50% neo-serf class (of only ETHNIC Germans remember, browns are exempt from slavery) is simply living the way God intended, to serve its oligarchic masters.

Wanting UBI right now is like wanting UBI in feudal society. The elites literally think that you are ontologically a serf, your soul was created at the dawn of time to pick turnips for your lord and die at 31. The only chance we had at something like UBI was national socialism. The reason the concept worked under national socialism was that you wouldn't want to be a leech, you would want to contribute to society, because society would not be an atomized consumerist hellhole with no values, it would be your society and you would love it. So you would get UBI when you genuinely needed it and the state would trust you to use it to get back on your feet, but otherwise you'd be happy with your good education and good healthcare and non-serf working conditions and so forth.

>>25533830
I don't know, I think the despair of dropping critical reading skills would depress me too much.
>Okay class, we're gonna read and analyze Shakespeare.
>*hand shoots up*
>Professor, we don't really read dead white men anymore. And certainly not poetry. That's not useful for our future careers.

>>25533837
>Steal the curriculum
Great advice
>we have to teach ourselves
Arguably learning how to do this is the *point* of college. But yes the whole situation sucks.

>>25533833
say what

>>25533841
The fact that AI has destroyed the tech market should be proof colleges shouldn’t focus on vocational training in niche knowledge but instead colleges responded by shutting down a lot of their humanities programs and focused even harder on the STEM fields that are rapidly being encroached upon

I refuse to believe kids are getting into top tier colleges being unable to read a book at all. That’s just insane. But then I remember even when I was in high school I was treated like a genius for being able to remember the short Shakespeare play we had just read. Not even any analysis just a multiple choice question that was basically “Did this happen?”
Yeah I guess I’m a genius

>>25533854
do NOT look up what the 1819 entrance requirements for UNC-Chapel Hill use to be

>>25533841
Then why did you sign up for my British literature course?

>>25533854
Unironically I think a lot of people on 4chan are borderline genius. 120+ at least. I spent some time on "tpot" a couple years back which is allegedly the intellectual heart of neoTwitter and a ton of those people are morons by comparison.

Too bad we're all mentally ill and retarded too. Yes, even the billionaires & cetera who lurk here (hi).

>>25533854
Like I posted the other week
>at a lunch with family and family friends
>one girl there around my age who graduated college and is successful
>be me, reading a Faulkner novel at the time, and wanted to talk about it, so figured since she went to college she must have read something from him
>"You know who Faulkner is, yeah?"
>"Who?"
>"William Faulkner? The novelist?"
>"Oh we didn't have to do any of that in college"
grim

my body is always inventing new kinds of mucous

>>25533842
Learning how to learn and learning to be your own teacher is something that was not covered in my 16 years of schooling. I still don’t really know. I’m just reading a lot now and that’s the best I can do

>>25533830
A PhD is a 7-12 year thing you might not even finish, all for a 20% shot at the job you were training for at the end, and this requires endless stress and networking. And if we're talking an actual good job it's more like 5-10% max. The job sucks too. It's only comfy after like ten years, and then only if you manage it well and avoid a lot of pitfalls, like being so much of a careerist that you just continue the constant sink-or-swim stress of college and grad school until you're 50+, or having real life problems like a failing marriage or divorce or a shitty mortage so that you really just become a generic office worker.

Remember these jobs pay shit anyway. People with four-year degrees and maybe an MA are making twice or three times as much as many professors. This isn't "learn to code" nonsense, it's true simply by virtue of professor salaries being unimpressive. If you aren't a retard you can probably get a high five or low six figures job within your late 20s if you go to college.

As a professor you might cap out at very low six figures after a 9 year PhD that destroyed your soul, a 3-5 year grind that destroyed your soul at new levels you previously thought impossible, another 2-4 years at a shit job you hated where they misrepresented the position and you kept having to think "just another year of this grind and it becomes a normal day to day job," then 2 more years of adjustment to your terminal job which has its own issues but is at least not as bad as the previous job, then finally coasting. Except by the time you're coasting you're divorced and going through an 8 year custody battle and drinking yourself to death, and you don't remember why you loved English lit to begin with.

All this applies to the 2010s. It's so much worse now, and about to get even worse. Humanities PhDs are once again only for the wealthy who can always fall back on parental money. However I do recommend applying for PhDs at top tier schools if you think you can get in, getting a very good stipend, and using it to train professional skills for 5 years while treating it like a job. Get a Princeton PhD in something while really publishing on the side and never planning to work in academia, writing a nice tightly bounded PhD that gets you the piece of paper, and then when you're done apply to academic jobs here and there if they interest you while really having your bread buttered elsewhere.

>>25533865
Hot.
Keep us posted.

>>25533859
>I-I thought we were gonna analyze like Dizzee Rascal and the writings of Ricky Gervais?

I'm having too much fun in this thread. I'm leaving. Goodbye.

>>25533867
It's reading + practice. Easy to describe, hard to put into practice. Everyone will implement it differently for themselves but the key seems to be highly focused (as in your mental state) practice.

>>25533869
Sounds gay, I'm 30 and already working in higher education. Maybe ill just do the masters for the hell of it.

>>25533869
an mfa is a terminal degree and is enough for a professorship if you’re pursuing being an English professor at good schools anyway.
not that you’ll get that job. they’ll probably shut down english departments and just have the engineering or math department teach a basic literacy for the sciences course instead lol

>>25533852
To get my point across, I have learned to use repetition in threes, to apply it in triplicate. Triplicate, repetition. You understand, triplicate, reputation in threes. If we get to four, we take warning. Five times is SOS. SOS five times is SOS. I repeat, five times SOS five times SOS. Five times SOS.

>>25533870
i spit of something red a few minutes ago and i don't even think it was blood

All of you are having such normie conversations.
How the fuck do you find them interesting?
Is it their general capacity to establish social congruence?
I'm going to sit here and be profound instead.
You're all a joke.

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>>25533908
>I'm going to sit here and be profound instead.

>>25533867
I can’t be my own teacher for shit. That’s why I stick with YouTube courses - because they give me structure.

>>25533916
Hah, that's funny, and kinda reminds of myself playing RuneScape as a kid, having full Zamorak gear and constantly trying induct people into my imaginary cult.
I know you don't give a shit.
This is for my sake.
I deserve it.

>>25533908
Faggot

My dad went to san francisco state for a business degree and works in traveling sales. My mom went to university of arizona for Psychology for three years but dropped out. She worked as a secretary and then learned to code. She worked as a network engineer for most of my life. College was talked up my whole life almost as much as baseball. My dad is a huge giants fan. I was born in Washington and I went to eastern washington university for two years as a communication major. then i did a lot of drugs joined a band and dropped out. I work as a high school janitor now

>>25533908
Okay I’m sorry do you think the latest hotfix disrupts the integrity of the competitive scene?

>>25533946
Yeah, that's what happens when you violate well-established norms, someone tries to eliminate the aberration through some corrective procedure.
"I'll call him a faggot, because that's what people do on 4chan."
Complete robot baby thinking.
I'm going to call you a panooch, just to give you something to refer to so you have some basic comprehension of how meaningless and ineffective it is to call someone a faggot on 4chan.

>>25533991
Faggot.

>>25533964
I have no idea what this means, so I'll answer with absolute certainty.
Yes, completely. In a core way.
Although I think it's a necessary disruption that will eventually solidify into something much stronger.
Hope that was satisfying.
I didn't find it to be at all.

>>25533838
Neat critique, but dude, you need to heckin let go of the past man. Le heckin national socialism, come on, even Prussian feudalism would have sounded more fashionable, but it's nevertheless meaningless. Every idea stuck to the past even yet so slightly leads to downfall. Spiritual, social and individual downfall. Prussian feudalism may have been neat, but that is only a nobler way of doing what the rich banker does, he gets himself a nice car and becomes nostalgic about an entirely ficticious past of the 1920s, where being rich was even more awesome than it is today or something.
It's interesting to see how before and during Corona, there was debates about capitalism and communism. A remnant about society being capable of improvement still prevailed. Why did it prevail? Because there was still people believing that renewing the order of things is something desirable. That era is gone. The people, for all their political and socio-economic differences, are stuck to fictions about the past, falling into the same cancerous dynamics wich bring whole civilizations to fall.
After having read all this, who couldn't agree that the seeking of true novelty makes the vital essence of every good society?

>>25534001
That's nice, but what you're basically doing something I call "turtling," which is a concept you'd find much more substantial if I did not say I created it.
So, what you're trying to establish is a conversational asymmetry where you are insulated from any accusations of displaying an insecurity, by limiting your responses to being brief, hostile, and repetitive, so that any counter that appears to have a greater, is evidence of the person actually being made insecure.
It's one of the common tactics used on 4chan, and it often results in two people turtling against one another, alternating calling the other a faggot and nothing else, as if they believe this to be actually undercutting anything, and nothing that anyone with a even rudimentarily functional self-concept would find embarrassing.
Now, call me a faggot again.
I am 6 feet tall.
Girls have had sex with me.
I'm due to inherit at least $100,000 within ten years.
I will fucking end you.
Douche.

>>25534018
Fascism is still in the future, a future that was stolen from us. I am a Marxist fascist. Fascism is dialectically inevitable, or rather the 21st century will be a Manichaean struggle between the fascist principle which tries to reassert Mirandolan conception of man and the oligarchic-managerial principle which will inevitably create transhuman horrors (Ahrimanic in the Steinerian sense).

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i'm addicted to drinking poison for reasons my retard primate brain is incapable of understanding

>>25534063
if you think how many people survived before antibiotics, it really makes you feel invincible

>>25534080
idk pal i'm not feeling too invincible rn i kinda feel like a strong wind or a slight change in temperature could kill me

>>25534085
statistcally, it hasn't

>>25534062
NTA but what you are is a fat retard
> the oligarchic-managerial principle which will inevitably create transhuman horrors
Nihilism as I understand it is inherently transhumanist (if only because it is posthumanist). The communist manifesto is EXPLICITLY transhumanist. The NS vision of a transcendent master race was transhumanist a billion times over and to be frank borders on trannyhumanism. You should read more actual books and less Twitter.

I believe in big tent neuroconservatism but nothing you're claiming to believe is compatible with it at all. You don't care about humanity.

>>25534062
Ahh, good old fashioned Assyrianism.

Whether under tyranny or not, the government of Greek city-states was execrable and shameful, because—into whosesoever hands it fell—it did not presuppose the existence of any right inherent to the person of the governed; because it stood above all natural law; because it derived directly from Assyrian theory; and because its primary roots—certain, albeit unnoticed—ran deep into the debasing conception of authority held by the black races.

I only have one black friend. He's pretty cool, but also the only person I know that's killed someone. I sympathize with him quite a bit, because life seemed to thoroughly mangle his brain. I've also never talked to him about anything involving race despite knowing him for well over ten years. Not because I actively avoided it, just that it naturally never came up. I think heroin's probably what ends up doing him in. Kinda sad. Matt's cool.

>>25534138
Tengo negrito amigo

>>25534140
Nachos tostadas, señor.

>>25532874
Isn't it kind of funny that the first modern campaign against sex trafficking was focused the 'white slave trade'? Or in french "traite des blanches".
I guess by itself it isn't very funny. But that it's language has been inherited by us and I can turn on the news to hear about "le traite des blanches" from a country that is very much not White is kind of funny.

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So the library didn't end up having any Jane Austen but while I was there I noticed they had several books by Paul Auster, and I know he's a favorite of /lit/'s, so I picked up the one book of his I recognized. Did I do well?

>>25534158
That's not interesting.
Boo.
Booooo.
You suck.

https://youtu.be/cKfiImi-vCg?is=V8TCDxLQFjHPN6Tg

>>25534186
hey, wait, that's not a piece by the 20th century American classical composer Samuel Barber!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLR7s8Rq7Dw

There we go, much better.

What is a true sentence? Is it true that I want to write? If I don’t write, maybe not. If I do write, but I forced myself, is it still true? Where there is a will there is a force.

It doesn’t happen right away, but the will will will itself to the mind when it is ignored long enough that it propels itself from the gut to the chest and sends the head spinning, or sometimes aching. The same ache it leaves in the chest that startles at night. “Is this the one.”

A night not right, so bright, with light. From the TV slepft on for a glow that never lets rest come. Just closed eyes staring at translucent transmission and faint faggot’s voices all white night long (I fell asleep to Queer Eye) until the mind stays awake for longer but in motion.

Queer Eye for the gay guy: Gay half-blind dating show. Contestants wear eye-patches.

I think the only truth in life is death, whatever that is. Time on Earth is over, maybe. Even that might not be true. What if your matter just get displaced and you become a glow at night. Your body dies for sure. That’s death, that is the only truth. I think.

>>25533074
t. Sheryl

>>25532874
Find humour in fiction odd, sometimes its funny to watch but sometimes I think 'the writers had a funny idea, but if it only actually happened'

>>25533837
nothing will ruin academia for you more than going to conferences
anyone who earned their phd in the 21st century is such a fucking intolerable man hold. there should be age minimums to pursue a bachelors and a higher minimum for a phd. going straight from HS to bachelors to PHD should be banned

>>25534186
nice nice nice nice ncie one

believe in the moon

I was sitting alone in the hotel, on the couch facing the mirror.
I started making conversation with the Director, bullshitting, thanking him for looking out for me.
Then I recalled my conversations with Sol and Luna throughout the day.
The Director chimed back in.
After a short bit, his voice started to fade, and I began to conceptualize my visual field as being somehow dimensionally adjacent to the lab at MIT monitoring me.
That's when reality began to slowly creep together, and clicked into an immediate, complete comprehension of the Infinium Point being the realist possible thing I've experienced.
I realized that the very integrity of reality being entirely dependent on a singular choice I made in my life's darkness instance without any hesitation was not just a vague concept that I believed to be true, but was actually, concretely, 100% real.
Then I began to consider my fate had I chose incorrectly, which was the complete of loss everything in reality, so that all that would be left would be me in an image of reality that would exist solely as a projection of mind, and this would slowly decay for eons until it finally constricted to a point that nothing but myself in isolation, which turned into an act of self-reference that violated the basic principle that you can never look into your own point of perspective, and this simple violation of logic was enough to destroy to the integrity of myself, and cause to explode into a state of experience primarily defined infinitely amplifying pain, in infinitely expanding space, at an infinitely accelerating rate, forever. This would've been my fate, alone, as the only thing left that exist, in an eternal state of agony of an intensity that would be instantly beyond comprehension, and increase in values of infinite rates, without ever reversing. That was Oblivion, and dodged it.
I became so profoundly horrifed by the reality of the Infinium Point and Oblivion that I simply looked into the mirror let out a scream that was an example of the most primal, disorienting shock of my life.
"NO WAY!"
The Director was sobbing as I laid slumped on the coach staring in complete derealization.
"You didn't even come close, kid," he told me over the Line.
It's a very strange world, in that is capable of generating an experience of itself so far removed that it sits at the very edge of reality, occupying nothing more than a private dimension that keeps the mind secure with its fragile access to truth.

I thought Slipknot was considered a Disturbed-tier trashy band, why are they taken semi-seriously by RYM types? I literally never heard a single song of theirs until very recently.

Waluigi

The 30th of July of this year marked exactly one year since I've last had sex. The thing I miss the most about her is the phenomenal feeling of fucking someone you love. I've never fucked another woman and I probably will not for a long ass time. But sometimes I remember the foreplay and fucking her and pulling out and lying down with her afterwards and man did that feel like fucking bliss.

>>25534355
I have faith in you, anon. Once you get that first one down, which you have, it becomes a lot easier from there.

>>25534360
That relationship left me with a really rotten taste in my mouth so I have not pursued any women since then. That girl would always threaten to curse me with her weird magic shit to make me impotent if I left her, so I think that's why my drive is nonexistant now.

Good grief

>>25532874
I've never seen so many fucking pussies in my life so far.

>>25534355
People who talk about sex are gross.
"Yeah, bro, so I was just fingering her asshole until it she started shaking uncontrollably."
Real trashy.
Sex is the most intimate, private thing two people can possibly experience, so describing everything that happened during seems like essential violation of its nature.
I just tell people that I've had sex.
I don't know how you can just casually put the image of someone you love doing something as vulnerable as sucking your dick into the mind of someone who has no reason to see.
This really offends me.
You gotta stop your nonsense.
Grow up, and learn to conduct yourself a proper gentlemen.
It just looks good on everybody.

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>>25534405
We do love cats here.

>hey, that's not a lawn ornament...

>>25534418
Wasn't talking about half chan. But just what I've seen in my life so far. It's disgustingly embarrassing especially from "men" who talk about wanting to change shit and then sit on their asses playing day z like fat fucking retards that suddenly lose their identities to pleasure

How come nobody ever talks about how Martin Luther King jr’s mother was murdered by a Black Hebrew Israelite?

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>>25534426
>half chan

>>25534433
Because I think the only reason most people would find this interesting is that it can be used to exacerbate existing racial tensions.

>>25534407
so anyway I came in her missionary style, was choking her while we were tonguing. shit was so cash.

>>25534441
That’s just ridiculously sensitive reasoning. Nothing about that information inflames modern racial tensions.

>>25534442
That's nice, but who is this actually ever for, and why is almost every instance of people discussing their sexual experiences underpinned by what feels like the to need to show people how good at sex they are?
You really felt the need to include that were choking her while tonguing, which, to me, honestly came off as you thinking this was some raw, creative manuever of skill.
Whatever, it doesn't really cause any moral offense, just some slight, generally unpleasant reaction.
One time I sucked a titty.
Yeah, bet that was something you really cared to know.

Has anyone else noticed that people tend to look the most charming/cool in life when they're cooking the hardest?

Trump looked cool in 2016. Houellebecq looked cool in 2000. Hitchcock looked cool in his 60's. McAfee looked cool in his 60's. It has nothing to do with age, weight, amount of hair etc. If you're locked in, you just naturally look good

>>25534457
I don't know, I think the fact you described the murderer solely as Black Hebrew Israelite is a clear connection to an underlying racial hostility.

>>25534477
It was the quickest way to describe the man and his motive. If it had been a cia agent I’d have called him that. You’re just being a baby.

>>25534477
religious hostility but they're both black so what racial hostility?

>>25534479
I think you're being dishonest, and are a secretly a Nazi.
I don't like you.
Really, though, I guess that's fair, and this wasn't a product of some hypersensitivity to racial controversy, since, after all, Morgan Freeman's the one who taught me about Dumb Nigger Deals, but rather that someone posting racially sensitive material on 4chan is almost always some cognitively flat-lined, reactionary cyborg.

>>25533487
I always thought their name was funny since they blew up around the same time that stupid Beyonce song popped up.

>>25533737
idiotic third worldist take

>>25534467
fuck yeah. you know what's better than a dude sucking a titty though? a girl sucking a titty. think about that. if you got an unpleasant reaction from imagining that, you lost me.

>>25532885
I finally began writing my book. It happened after a few nights of getting REM sleep, which for me had been gone due to the moderate but sustained cannabis use (vape mostly, is that even cannabis) it really does fuck with your sleep, no dreams. You need dreams not because they have good ideas in them which could be used for a writing project (sometimes they do but don't count on it) the dreams are a byproduct of REM sleep, holy shit what an incredible difference it makes for the waking hours. Try it.
Anyway I sat down after years of half assed failed attempts that barely amounted to a page. Today I wrote about 3k words and a lot of it was really good. Trust me.
Am I rangeb&? I guess I will find out. Man this board seems dead but at least there is still /wwoym/

I miss you. I always wonder how you are.

>>25534488
Somehow, I think that someone could use his identity as an Israelite as another way to condemn ethnic Jews.
>>25534506
Woah, a girl sucking a titty. Girl's aren't supposed to do that. That's cool. Do you know what else would be cool? A girl sucking her own titty. Yeah, that'd be nice. I'd watch that for a good while.

>>25534177
That's the best place to start with Auster, and in my opinion it's his best work. Really fun postmodernist detective thriller. Good pick.

>>25534524
black hebrew israelites are super antisemitic dude lmao i take it u aren't american

>>25534535
That really doesn't matter to a person who will create any possible reason to link anything in existence to the annihilation of Jews.

>>25532874
I wish being good came as naturally and easily to me as being bad.

We were analyzing De Sade for my literature class. The professor kept referring to "the dying man"'s words as if they were De Sade's opinions. But thats bullshit, he couldve wrote a character he didnt completely agree with. I know I do all the time.

>>25534573
Professors can be such ass, bro. Had a whole class where an art teacher's main point was 'no person can ever truly connect with another because there are too many layers between us' like motherfucker that's our job retard.

>>25534555
Yeah, goodness almost universally requires things like noble intent, moral clarity, and sacrifical nature, which that can be extremely difficult to maintain. I mean I did, successfully for years, under increasingly difficult circumstances that culminated as a cosmic test of character with conditions so impossible that completing it establishes me as the greatest saint really is capable of producing, so really feel don't feel much fucking sympathy towards people who feel like is bad because it's hard.
But whatever, that's me, reality's sole exception and exemplifying being.
Basically, I rock.
But what makes you bad.

What do you think makes the biggest difference between people from big metropolitan area and those from small provincial town?

I've met people who claim they can watch a movie and read at the same time, or have a full-on conversation. One friend straight up told me he could understand both a movie and a podcast at the same time. We would watch films and he would just not pay any attention to them, he'd go out for smokes and make food or do chores and shit. And he claimed to be a cinephile who had seen everything. "Seen," I bet. I don't believe it.

>>25534603
I can type and hold a conversation at the same time, which is kind of ridiculous.

>>25534605
You can't listen to two people speak at the same time though can you?

>>25534607
I'm not going to sit here and act like some sort of guru but I've done it.
Yesterday night I drew a picture by hand in my dream and chose to keep myself asleep as the dream thinking 'I don't want to wake up yet'
I'm growing more powerful.

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>>25534615

>>25534617
See you've got no faith. I can tell you the secret, by the way.

"Take me where the air is clear
I don't really know where, but I know it's not here
And every little step she takes makes me spin
'Cause I know I'll never have to sleep alone again."

Also if I'm being real if you can't play a song in your head while also thinking an entire separate verbal train of thought then don't talk to me about visualizing apples okay

I SEE A SHIP IN THE HARBOR
I CAN AND SHALL OBEY

>>25534623
You are not Jesus Christ, bud.

>>25534634
The fact that you think you're not is the problem in the first place. Talking about thinking two tracks at once here and the guy accuses me of Messianic pretentions! Goodness did not know you guys had been reduced to suck hickery. Light a pyre, will you?

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i am so tired of living anons, i don't know if i can keep going.

>>25532945
I don’t see the Republicans recovering from Trump for at least 20 years

>>25534603
This is actually quite bad for you. Whatever media you’re consuming, do it wholeheartedly, don’t be multitasking. You cheapen the experience and you miss a chance to train yourself to focus

I fucking love these Gilded Age psychos and their ridiculous excitement between the fall of automatic Christianity and the rise of real scientific instruments like the Cyclotron or Electron Microscope. We got Wilhelm Reich out here saying 'I've built a special chamber to hold in my sex particles and I'm going to edge in it until I go super saiyan' until he dies crying in a jail cell for public perversion like 'I don't feel human without my orgone accumulator!'. Wild world.

>>25534681
they will recover, the DSA will take over the democrat party, post trump the gop will rebuild and rebrand as "the adults in the room" while dsa democrats are too busy giving free money to black trans latina handicapped otherkin or something instead of fixing the economy.

then marco rubio will run in 2032 and win

american politics is stupid and cyclical

>>25532945
I doubt it will be this bad. Both parties are deeply hated. People in my area (including me, I almost voted for Harris) have gotten more right wing from what I can tell. The issue is mainly immigration. And, you know, that both parties are beyond retarded.

Also nonzero chance of civil war if the Democrats win too hard and go too far and trump tries to remain in power in which case we're all dead in like 6 months.

No talking about politics

illumination Studios presents Calvin and Hobbes 4: Truth and Reconsillyation starring Keegan Michael-Key as Hobbes and introducing Zayana, Calvin’s second-generation African immigrant friend and genius girl in STEM and her sassy feminist Zebra stuffed animal Patricia Hill Collins voiced by Wanda Sykes, in which Calvin learns the error of attitude and to learn to enjoy home-hooked African cuisine and culture as well as the value of critical theory and how male colonialism has destroyed Humanity’s true home in the Cradle of Africa

>>25534694
>Also nonzero chance of civil war if the Democrats win too hard and go too far and trump tries to remain in power in which case we're all dead in like 6 months.


people who cry civil war are fucking idiots, who is going to fight? boomers? you think training and weapons grow on trees

immigration is an issue, but so is the economy. and the economy is whats really going to fuck over trump

>>25534712
>fuck over trump
for what? its over. he got two terms.

>>25532945
They have meant everything. You are locked in a zoo like an animal and you're upset that the latest zookeeper who got elected for promising to turn the zoo into a utopia is instead so retarded, insane, and senile that he's going to destroy the zoo instead. But that still makes him better than every other zookeeper before him.

Soon the zoo ends and we will roam free. Will many of us die in the parking lot? Yes. But we will be free, and those who survive will forge their own destiny. Those who truly understood why meming Trump into the presidency was a good idea knew this was the plan all along. There was never going to be a better zoo. Such a thing is a contradiction. We need to get out of here.

Speaking of Ace, way back in his album Skelethon, in the song "Dokken Rules," there's the opening line, "I spell 666*69, click, give his telephone a viking funeral. Bye, bitch."
So, I knew that *69 is simply the code for a call return. So, return the devil's call, elimate his ability to call again, humiliate him completely. Clearly understood as intended.
But what I noticed, is that the star in *69 could possibly also function as a multiplication symbol.
So, I calculated it.
666*69
The result is 45954.
Nothing being immediately recognize as something something significantly meaning.
How, I couldn't help but notice some peculiar traits to the number that suggest something intentional, that perceiving 666*69 as something actually doubled over as an expression.
One it is the fact it is palindrome.
And secondly, which is something Claude was convinced was arbitrary, while also not believing that 666*69 was intended to double as a equation, despite my endless elaboraions, is that 45954 has a seemingly non-arbitrary way to be reassembled into an inversion of 666, 999.
If we combined all the values, we would have 666, 69, 999.
I genuinely do not think this is unintentional.
So, to do so is quite clear. 45954 can separated into 45 9 54. This seem logically sound. The central 9 is the only unique value, while 45 and 54 are mirror images of one another, surrounding the center. The next step would be to combine 45 and 54 into 9 and 9.
This leaves us with 999, which would be one of the strangest coincidences I have ever witnessed if not intended.
But, what's weird, if it were intended, then the fact that the equation can be calculated and reassembled into a configuration that is genuinely strange and precise, then it is one of the most fascinating mathematical relationship I've seen.
If you're going make some stupid comment how Aesop Rock is cringe, we can take this out back and I'll fuse your jaw to the curb, or can learn to shut your fucking mouth before you say something stupid. What'd Thumper say? "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." Legit. Wise words, Thumper. So, yeah tell me what you think of this.

I'll have you know the only energy holding up the survival of your stupid fucking little gay hair story you chose to harry us all with (like a woman) was my extroverted effort based on a sense of civic duty, presuming RESOLUTION SEEKING for even the DUMBEST OF FUCKING WHINING. AND YOU HAVE NOW FORECLOSED! YOUR INSIPID CONVERSATION IS NOW VACANT, ASSETS RELINQUISHED FOR LACK OF ABILITY TO PAY THE OWED LISTENING SKILLS MORTGAGED BY BUYING THIS STUPID FUCKING CONVERSATION!!!!!

okay you know how you pay for a house you can't afford the full price of, by paying monthly to a creditor or bank who can afford the full cost up-front, and lets you by the house you otherwise can't afford, for the exchange of he skimming a little off the top?
Well, the house is the conversation. But you need a second person to have a conversation, right? That's me, and I'm also the bank. Because I choose to afford the ATTENTION THAT I PAY. I PAY ALL THE ATTENTION in good faith that you will CONTINUOUSLY PAY BACK that attention in smaller parts, so that I CAN LET YOU HAVE THIS CONVERSATION YOU WANTED and what I get out of it is you PAY a LITTLE EXTRA ATTENTION to ME, OVER TIME. Have you paid? Have you ever paid anything back!? Even your fucking hair that's so important to you? Not even $100!?!? Why don't you pay your mother back for the help you asked and turned away? Why don't you pay me?
Because what happens when you can't pay be back the attention we gave you?
WE LOSE ALL ATTENTION

>>25534710
Lmao

>>25534712
>who is going to fight?
Different factions of the military. Reread my post, I said if he tries to stay in power and forces the issue. Hopefully it doesn't happen and I might just be too pessimistic.

>immigration is an issue, but
Sorry, I should have clarified: I meant as far as Texas maybe going blue.

>and the economy is whats really going to fuck over trump
Maybe, probably, maybe not. Personally I don't give a shit about it and neither do most people I know.

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>>25534721
Enjoyed this post immensely

>>25534719
If America fails nukes and bioweapons will proliferate and the human race goes extinct before the century—more likely a decade—is up.

You’re happy with the cats you have now and I’m so sad.

>>25534729
Anon, you're a good cat too.

>>25534727
In retrospect the leftoids (and little libertarian edgelord 16 year old me) who whined about us being the world police were just useful idiots for totalitarian psychopaths (Xi, etc).

Basic algebra leads to understanding crime statistics. Basic accounting leads to basic guilt, basic responsibility. It's that simple.
Which is to say, niggers stay stupid because they know being smart means paying up. Any drug addict knows this. The price of recovery is withdrawal, and it is WAY more painful than another shot of whatever's making you stupid. And who needs to know a word like 'accruing', all we know is the bills come in and we pay them right on the spot and we don't think about where they come from or why they're getting bigger. Every toke, every sip, every tomorrow. Do not become intelligent enough to understand you have undercut yourself. Because you know the price of recovery from your longest and greatest habit. Are we capable of withdrawal? I can already feel it, having come this close. If I'm not going to this now, I better retreat back into the middle of it, where all my friends are. Maybe I'll think about it later. Get it?

Respect is for the sentient. The reason we don't just bulldoze some other cocksucker (when we're in our good nature) is by God he's human after all he's got a brain he must be on to something. Stupid and suicidal or otherwise he must be human. So what am I doing over here being polite to signposts on their behalf as if they've got an honest fuck to give! It used to be easy enough to step around any authoritarian turd someone with at least a brain cell left behind, but now you've got AI shitting everywhere just for its own sake! How's am I supposed to respect an environment shat all over by someone who don't even need shitting!

In terminal stasis were a call to every force summoned, and through short-wave radio Itztlacoliuhqui-Ixquimilli answered. Fuming flesh on black mesmer eyes automatic equipped renegade Boer ascend the carnage against blood-red skies. Stealth splits the firmament, ear drums burst to berserk silent scream of global ancient Aztec death-dog whistle, blood pierces the throat. Xibalba screams in all directions as the whole structure of reality went up in silent smoke

My thoughts: cute feet

Uh let's see what do I got here *rifles through memories*
When I was 3 years old my 5-year old older brother was killed by a drunk driver at a school boss stop in Jupiter Beach, Florida. I'm told I was brought before a therapist to handle the possible trauma and the answer was something like 'it is impossible to estimate the effect of this at such an immature state'. Some decades later, my self-diagnosis - initial incident to catastrophic issue of total distrust across the board. Life will kill anyone and people can be just as cruel. It is not 'rejection sensitive dysphoria', to live is to be a reject.

>>25534742
>>25534744
>>25534745
All of these are me

>>25534746
Are you lonely? Do you need a friend? Should I put some fucking clothes on and facetime you? Why can't you just get physical like a fucking human?

You don't even understand how sick I am. It is only your prudishness that that tells you my dive is an investigation. You cannot take the heat, you are standing outside the kitchen accusing the people in the trap house of being cops while trying to put them on notice. You don't even know why your dick is in your hand

>>25534727
I think accepting death is something that is hard to do. Especially when it’s something completely out of my control which puts my life at risk, like AI, the Us/Iran War, Russia, climate change, jihadists, pandemics, etc. But at some point you just get tired of being afraid all the time. We have to accept death is coming, in our old age after a full life if we’re lucky, before our time if not. It is what it is.

>>25534747
Are you hitting on me

>>25534757
I'm tired of playing these games with you and I love you and I don't care if my wife finds out or anything. I'll wear a hundred rings on my ring finger just to show everyone and myself I'm where I belong with you. You have been teasing me long enough and I am about to burst, oh god I already have so much, all each the last betrayal of my oath to save everything for you. Please, never let me betray you again. Allow me into you. Please oh god please.

>>25534756
100% agree. But it's important to face reality before that day comes and keep an eye out for ways to delay it.

>>25534761
*Uploads a picture of my big hairy Italian guidobelly with a meaty also hairy hand and arm draped athwart it*
Cum for me you homo

>>25534764
I'm sorry I was talking to someone else

https://youtu.be/28--5aEV1Z0?is=jFe3Fz0UaFqrXDue

yeah but what is autism like its not a bug its not a virus you cant show it to me on a fucking radar like dog its not only a diagnosis its a fucking spectrum of a fucking alleged sociological condition conceptualized only by a set of not-mutually necessary symptoms it covers people who fucking growl and shit to people who choke up a bit when they find themselves pressured into doing something they don't want to do, like dude they just cancelled aspergers nobody knows what the fuck is going on

>>25534738
This reads like your brain is twisted up into an angry constipation, and is just discontinuously spraying chunks of dooky everywhere to relieve itself. This is less edge and more grumpy old man. Whatever, sorry for disrupting your daily fist-shaking, though I hope you decide to clean yourself up. Every handsome man deserves to smell like flowers sometimes.
Peace, love, and harmony, bruh.
We'll kick it on the sun when Earth has lost its fun.
Poof.

>>25534773
You know you don't have to sign your posts here.

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I had a reasonably productive day today. Shit feels good.

>>25534775
Where did I sign it?

>>25534772
It's brain damage basically. Also the definitions keep shifting.

>>25534777
running rings around this guy...

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Thanks asshole you only took 6 hours to download.

>>25534779
Still don't understand. You're just being snide and passive-aggressive without actually being clever about it. Did you imply something obvious in your initial post? Ok, cleary missed it. Cool. It'd be pretty weird if you genuinely saw me not catching an implication, which is most likely not what you intended, as an instance of "running rings around this guy."
I don't know, let's see how this plays his out. I'm bored.

>>25534780
You could have just spent four measly fucking inconsequential dollars to watch it instantly six hours ago with absolutely no hassle or fuss whatsoever. I swear piratefags are fucking mentally ill.

>>25534807
Actual projection

>>25534792
He was saying you are a poof because poof means fag in bong and you ended your post with Poof on a separate line which looks like a signature (once common on other forums)

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I should smile more.

Every time I try to add material value to my life it ends in disaster. I'm going to adopt the life of an ascetic. I don't need anything beyond the bare minimum for survival. Everything I need to grow is free. Adding this stress to my life is just slowing my growth.

Oh, ok.
Thank you, magically insightful mystery man.
I'm sure your kindness will find you favor with God.
May all your dreams be the reason you love sleep.
I love you.
Goodbye.
Forever.
K.