Racist marecel editionPrevious Edition: >>42428998Fauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives:https://ponepaste.org/1046Have a broken Pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.inRemember:not to save anything of value on Pastebinignore all attempts at early new threadsFauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives:https://ponepaste.org/1046Have a broken Pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.inRemember:not to save anything of value on Pastebinignore all attempts at early new threadsThread question: How would you want a mare to propose to you?
>>42483354you fuckers didn't see anything I definitely didn't fuck up the subject last time
>>42483354We forgive you since you didn't use one of the bat fag's shitty OCs for the OP this time.
>>42483369Show us on the doll where Red Woods touched you
>>42483371All over. She's pretty big.
>>42483371Nowhere. She's in a committed relationship, and, apparently, very loyal :'(
>bored>shifting through archive>find doofanon stories>https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/34104554/#34117172>mfw
>>42483354>tfw no racist pony gf
>>42483371I wish she would touch me...
>>42483587The only thing a pony supremacist needs is finding a human male
>>42483706Hope you're ready to be a tradhuz
>>42483354I hope my horse wife doesn’t deport me.
>>42484726My horse wife told me a neat trick: According to some weird old horse law, you're considered a full-blooded citizen anytime your dick is inside an Equestrian mare. She's not a lawyer or anything, but she's really smart, so I trust her
>>42484729Sounds legit.
I heard that kirin mares have a thing for butler outfits. Is this true?
>>42484729What about after coitus? Do I lose citizenship? Can I regain in inside another mare? Are there mares that will allow me to just go about my day with just the tip inside? That sounds really difficult. How are we going to walk?
>>42485283Colts can't even remain loyal to their SPECIES. Unbelievable, Nightmare Moon is right about stallions.
>>42485332Loyalty means shit when the end result is staying with a stinky NEET marecel. If you mud ponies want colts you should offer something better than your competition. Now if you excuse me, I have socks to buy for my future KIRIN marefriend.
>>42485426I'm not bucking stinky, I took a bath A WEEK AGO!TSDTSDTSD
>>42485484I can smell you from my side of the computer. Stop lying and take a Celestiadamned shower!
lets play a little game mares.My cock fell off in Ponyville l 1 hour ago, it was wrapped in a bag of ice, if you can find the cock before it rots its yours but you'll have to avoid my traps the closer you get.
>>42479417
>>42485595I prefer locking my NEET mare in her room and forcing her to do cleaning related challenges to escape
>>42485717An excellent find, I like stuff like this a lot
I don't need Google, my wife knows everything.
>>42486570Mare tummy!
>>42486570>Be biggest horse of them all>Happy with your life as princess>Retire because [REDACTED]>Now you have all this time to yourself!>All this time...>All by yourself...>...>Now what?
What do you do if a human stallion falls asleep on you?
>>42487116Enjoy yourself?
>>42486765>Sign up for retirement home>Everypony knows old retirees fuck all day and night>Half the stallions keep mistaking you for their granddaughter>Orderlies won't do you, it's unethical>TFW immortality continues to fuck you from beyond your shitty job
>>42487125>>Half the stallions keep mistaking you for their granddaughterfuck are they putting in the water these days?
>>42487145You seen fillies these days? They're going into their first heat at like 9 years old and they got full-ass teats by 12. Shit's ridiculous.
>>42487153>Looking at teatsDYKE
>>42487164>it's teat inspection day but Cheerilee is the only teacher in the whole townCan you imagine being a stallion in RGRE and NOT being the school nurse?
>>42487394I'm sure there would be one if the school had the funding.
>>42487639And then Twigger had to siphon the rest of the money away to her meme school
Submissive mares are generally unsuccessful in the dating scene.Mares are naturally dominant, but there are a lot of those who would like to be a male's plaything. On the other hoof, stallions are naturally extremely submissive, and the ratio of submissive stallions to the dominant ones is extremely skewed towards the former, much more than the ratio of dominant to submissive mares, which is way more balanced, although the dommy ones prevail.Subby mares are typically seen as beta, face shaming for wanting to submit to the inferior gender, and are occused of being lesbians by their more dommy peers who think they're pathetic lesbos with a shit taste in fetishes, and they give stallions the ick.Subby mares are typically introverted and/or nerdy which doesn't help at all, but there's a word going around that a lot of successful and powerful mares are into maledom, even if you wouldn't suspect them of being into that at all.Subby mares gain A LOT from the contact with humans, as men are typically dominant and would like to have a highly cute, noticeably smaller female as their fuckpet.Similarly, submissive men also get a lot of extremely beautiful, both in personality and looks, 10/10 females willing to use them as their playthings, perceiving their submissive behavior towards them as attractive and natural, while they give ick to the majority of women.And the there are switches from the both sides who just keep winning.
>>42488080TLDR: this anon sucks cocks like the gay faggot he is
>>42488096What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
>>42488080>occused>fuckpetYou are brown.
>>42488267>"Bitch bastard you WILL redeem the mare!"
>>42488267>>occused...fuck me. I'm not beating the brown Occusations. Good morning, saars.
>>42488412Thank you come again
>RGRE>But mare's flirting is pajeet tier
>>42489012Pens and balls?
>>42489012>"Anon, you are so sexy and so beautiful! Please, you must date me! I will love you forever, I will worship you in bed every night! You are so sexy, I love you! I am very rich and successful, you would be a fool to spurn my affections Anon! You must let me give you my phone number and my email so that you can contact me if you ever need anything! I love you! I want you! I need you! You are so sexy, please! I must have you for my own!"
>>42489395Fuck me in the ass.I forgot the fucking picture.
>>42489397>Normal mares flirt like a jeet>Curry mares are a bit more direct
>>42489012>Remembering the time my sister, a tiny white woman, thought it would be fun to move to india.Remember, whenever you think you've made your in-story stallions unrealistically retarded: you haven't
>>42489397>Thinking "I ain't doing butt stuff if you eat volcano-inducing food">Now I'm thinking Zesty Gourmand was secretly trying to promote anal sex by discouraging spicy foodWhy am I like this?
>>42488080I like this, I want the greens of the mane 6, figuring out which of their friends are subs and doms.
>>42489955>Somepony here...is a sub!>It could be any one of us...>It could be you! >It could be me!>It could even be-
>>42485283No, they have a thing for butter outfits. Then they turn up the magical heat so the butter all melts and they have a greased-up naked stallion in front of them.
>>42489395>Human saar..are your cloths too tight?>-Oh wait that is me, when I see you, oh celestia above!
>>42489955The twist is rainbow dash is just a sub that overcompensates
>>42490257>Rainbow Dash acts like a dom>She's actually such a sub that she'll dom if toldI shiggy
>>42489402They have to make up for the smell. It's not that they don't shower. It's that they have peculiar tastes in scented shampoos.
>>42490875Curry is not a soap
>>42491024It is when your water is from the GANGES
>>42490123Unf, I wish I were that stallion
>>42483354Sunburst... where did he go? I was enjoying the green.
>>42491737The propeller got him.
>>42491737Kidnapped by Starlight, trapped in the Glimmer! Brand Rape Dungeon. Tragic.
>>42491344Curry is still not soap even relative to open untreated sewage
>>42491766Indeed, tragic that it was him and not me.
>"So... Are there any of these assholes you know is easy? I'm not in the mood for a challenge..."
>>42492547Try Big Mac.
>>42489977not what I had in mind, but it could be fun. Rainbow would not believe that her friends are subs, after all, they are the best. but Pinkie knows that some are.
>>42492547Zephyr Breeze will fuck anything above room temperature, if you're *really* desperate.
>>42489395>confidently purposely dropping spaghettisex, now sex, (you) have to fuck this mare
>10
>>42495673>9
>>42495673>>42496048>colts learned how to countEquestria has fallen
>>42496052Hey, that tax system made it really difficult for everyone. We had to start counting.
>>42496052>Mares think colts can't countCome home from a trip missing a foal or two and lmk how that went
>>42496052Luna's misandry would give Spitfire's a run for its money.
>>42496048>10
It's important for colts to have somewhere private where they can hide away
>>42497137How would fillies try to infiltrate the colt fortress?
>>42497355They build Filly Watchtower® near the window with the best view
>>42497355build their own fortress 3467889 mm away from the colts, both fortress facing each other
>>42497442Pegasi fillies spy on earth pony colts. No tree house is safe.
>>42498631What about WaifufagAnon in RGRE, but his waifu is already in a committed relationship? Would he try to seduce her? Would he stay autistically loyal to a mare he's not in a relationship with?
So, will you take advantage of the fact, that you can now openly talk about your feelings as the 'fairer sex'?Will you allow your mares to share their feelings without belittling them for not being strong?
>>42499197Yes
>>42499197Oh here we go with that ever present mares rights activist tripe about their 'feelings' again...You want to cry in front of me THEN BE A MARE AND START KILLING YOUR OWN BUGS AND SPIDERS IN THE BATHROOMTHERE IS NO GOOD REASON THAT YOU AS THE HAYWINNER OF THE HOUSEHOLD NEED TO DISTURB ME (AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I'M DOING) TO GO SQUASH A FLY OR ANT FOR YOU BECAUSE IT'S 'T-TOO CLOSE TO MY MARE'S REVITALIZATION TONIC!'Mare up.
THE ALL NEW CAVEMARE GAMING SUPPLEMENT!THREE DROPS OF OUR HIGHLY FORMULATED, ALL NATURAL, HYDROCHLORICALLY DERIVED, TINCTURE ONLY THREE TIMES A DAY WILL HAVE YOU FEELING LIKE THE ALPHA MARE OF ALPHA MARES!ORDER NOW AND WE'LL THROW IN OUR TEAT GROWTH CREAM FOR ONLY AN ADDITIONAL 24 BITS!OUR PATENTED TEAT GROWTH FORMULA GUARANTEES AT LEAST 0.0000000000002 INCHES ADDED TO YOUR BUST AFTER THREE MONTHS GUARANTEED!CALL NOW!
why do ponies use inchesstupid bitches
>>42499417Ads for things like this would be 1000% more effective on me if they still referred to their products as tinctures
Mares with small teats deserve no respect.
>>42499428>why do ponies use [Superior Measurement]>stupid bitchesAnon...
>>42499030he would sit in the cuck chair
>>42499895That's kinda mean
>>42500408It's also silly, he'd just trip on his way to the grocery store and end up in a new herd on the way down. No point getting blown out over one girl in gender ratio questria.
>8reversed gender roles?yeah, let's start by reversing which end of the board we're on
>>42500491After all, what are waifus but projections of oneself, passed through the filter of simulation and iteration until taking ever-better forms in the dreamer's mind?If you can't have your waifu, you must make your waifu yourself, if possible. Get a mare or a herd with the necessary formative experiences to be able to act like the waifu in your mind, and then add to them new experiences, sweet encouragements and guidance to get waifu in laifu.In the process, the mental image of the waifu will change, and you'll find that your mare or herd will come to match your dreams, and finally, you will recognize your mare or herd as your waifus, and hopefully love them beyond death's veil.
>>42500408it's the only solution of a waifufag if his waifu was already in a relationship, aside from killing her partner
You herdfags and the ever-present "no no no no, it works" schpiels....does that ever work on your friends?I can't tell you how often a stallion I know has talked this up to be the best thing in the world but has this look of 'HELP!' in his eyes.
>>42501167nothing a swift hoof to the jaw cant fix
>>42501171I’ll buck your face off if you hit my brother!
>>42501424Hold on, now. Maybe the colts fighting eachother is a good thing. Let's just see how this plays out
What would you do if this mare awkwardly asked you out?
>>42501798Say "Of course, cutie."
>>42501798>"I'm flattered, but not interested. I think Thunderlane has been giving you some strong signals, though."
>>42501798Wow, what a pretty mare!
>>42501957That's your MOM
>>42501968I'll make her a MOM
>>42501167I've been serially "saved" from a previous herd by my new one like 3 times now, it's great
>>42501986that's INCEST
>>42502540But I'm not the anon who the mare is a MOM too, I'd be his step-dad
>>42502960A Stallion Trap!
>>42499030If it happened to me I’d just be whatever the pony version of a monk swear and oath of celibacy.But every day check to see if they’re still together that way the second they break up I’ll be there.If anyone asks about my monk shit I’d say that a vision came to me and told me to be with her since I always cared for her.
>>42499547The best one I ever saw was spam that had the subject "BREAK DOWN WALLS WITH YOUR HUGE COCK".
>>42501798Erupt like the catty stallion I am.>Do I have a sign on that says "Desperate mare storage?">No? I didn't think so..
>>42504399>"STORAGE?!" she shouts. "You're the one who's supposed to go inside ME!"
>>42490123>Time to oil up, sugardick
>>42505980That's how many foals my stallion wants. At least I'll get plapped a lot, r-right? haha...
>>42506077no, no. i WILL the burger
>>42506352fuck, wrong thread. i'm retarded
>try and make it through the Daring Do series>protag has a new floozy love interest every bookunbelievable
>>42506697>stallion gets filtered by filly fiction
>>42506355it got a chuckle out of me nonetheless
>>42506697Did you know that A.K Yearling writes MARED stories under a pseudonym?What a fuckin pervert.
>>42506755Disgusting. Really abhorrent. What are they called? Just so I know to never so much as look at the cover of one. And what's her pseudonym? So I can avoid anything written by her, that's why I wanna know. Disgusting.
>>42506767She writes them under the name "Deepthroat" andpasses them out at cons secretly.If you've ever heard of "The Lusty Human Butler" or "Big Human Bigger City", she wrote those.What a freak.
>>42506789Ugh, terrible. Some ponies are real sick freaks. Now I'll have to be on the lookout for her at cons, to avoid her, of course. This kingdom is really going downhill, I tell you
>>42504399>mare correction>>42505269where does "sugardick" even come from?>>42505980Sorry boss, was busy cookingSpeaking of, since herbivores cannot digest meat, I think I'll ponder what meals would be best for a marefu.And since griffons would definitely have other requirements for animal protein, I've no doubt I'd also have to adapt my cooking to their tastebuds and digestion.And what about changelings? And what about dragons?>All these and more, tonight on Cooking Gear
>>42506888Finally, some freakin' content for a stallion in this thread
>>42506888>Tonight,>Anonymous cuts open a hayburger>Incognito burns himself>And Innominate loses a sandwich"Thought I put it right here...">This is, Top Sear
>>42506697>>42506729Stallions will go 'ew' at filly-centric romance writing but see nothing wrong with overly sappy monogamous erotica involving werebats or I-can-totally-fix-her changelings. Face it, we're all degenerates, the boys just get away with it in public.
>>42506888It's just the RGRE version of sugartits.
>>42499417>in the timeline where Applebloom became an alchemist and apprenticed under Zecora
>>42507533After years of watching Applejack not get any because she works too damn hard, I could see it. She probably also sells date rape drugs under the counter.
>>42508865GIWTWM
>>42508230>spoilerThat's a reasonable assumption. Didn't she make one of those in the show?
>>42509168Love poison is more of a life rape drug than a date rape drug. Assuming you don't have accomplices to separate you to make sure it doesn't take full effect. Though it's more likely the accomplices would be partaking as well.On that note, how do you even bust a herd or relationship that's found to have been the result of love poison? The damage is done. They're already irreversibly and fanatically in "love". Is it better to just leave it be to avoid causing the innocent party extreme mental anguish through separating them?
>>42509517Love poison is honestly completely fucked. Whoever came up with that concept is an evil genius
>>42509517>>42510296man that's such a great lewd fic idea, I assume nobody has ever capitalized on it in /rgre/?
>>42507533FINALLYAPPULIUM
>>42510638Not that I'm aware of
>>42510125No, I don't....
>>42510125Please explain.
>>42510890>>42511403She's in heat, you prawn.
>>42511422???????
>>42511422Oh my bucking Celestia, Anon. You can't call colts pr*wns, that's so misandrist. To all the stallions reading this, I deeply apologize for my fellow mares' misandry and bigotry. But please, know that there are still SOME mares out there who know how to treat a strong and powerful stallion with the respect he deserves.
Been throwing up all hour, turns out human stallions can use magic, it makes their manes spike up hideously and muscles bulge grotesquely, i bucking hate it
>>42511422Turn the fucking heater off to cool her down then, lazy stallion.
>>42511610>touching your wife's thermostatIf you want to bring down Tartarus on yourself, sure.
>>42511598>stallions>reading thislol, lmao even
>>42508865hot
>>42512021Very true. I can't even read what I just wrote.
I read a chapter of a fanfic of an HFY story I'm following, and an aspect of one of the characters reminded me of RGRE.>She was biologically male, but her matriarchal society meant that climbing the ladder was easier as a female, and she's been wiping the floor with the competition ever since she transitioned.What would RGRE ponies think of a stallion who transitioned to a mare, not because he felt like a mare in a stallion's body, but because it's a better meta?
>>42512424>G% flaggot>HFY>TrannyshitWorst post on the board rn
>>42512480Drunken newfag hereWhat's HFY? I'd lurk more but i'm too drunk.
>>42512480I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought that. It's a quintessentially comical post. A big lol if you will
>>42512495I'm not spoon-feeding you but chances are someone else will, which will bring more idiots like you who refuse to lurk.
>>42512495It's not even a lurk moar thing it's a read more books thing desu
>>42512528>will bring more idiots like you who refuse to lurk.Seems fair to me>It's not even a lurk moar thing it's a read more books thing desuSorry i never learned how to read, i only learned how to type
>>42512544>Will bring more idiots like you who refuse to lurk.Fuck, i meant to say that it's fair that i'm not being spoon-feed as long as it's in the name of gatekeeping
What'd I tell ya.That's just the board we post on now. Didn't used to be.
>>42512544I kneel
>>42512558Ma'am, you have to pay for that
>>42511609Did he ask you to kiss his wife? I heard that kind of human stallions is really into it.
>>42512495Hebrews Fuck Youngins
>>42512637So regular hebrews?
>>42512480
>>42510808Almost a relief
>>42512495Humanity Fuck Yeah!Also known as cringe concentrate
>>42512577Berry has a tab at most establishments. Not because they offer credit, but because she keeps saying "put it on my tab" and walking out.
Rape is legal in Equestria, if:>the rapist is in her estrus>the stallion is not married, whether to a single mare or a herdOften there are incidents when the raped male goes to the police station to try and sue the rapist, he gets double-teamed by both the policemare and his rapist. This most commonly happens when both are in heat. It can be hard for a single mare to control herself during her heat.A rapist can be free from criminal liability if the herd decides that she's attractive enough.
>>42513407>A rapist can be free from criminal liability if the herd decides that she's attractive enough.Once again, all the Trixie's get special treatment just for winning the genetic lottery. The SECOND a sub-8 mare so much as glances at a colt, they're arrested on rape charges. Unbelievable.
>>42513407>>42513545There's just something so goddamn funny about the idea that in RGRE the more girly and colorful mares are the more "chadly" they are
>>42501798Depends on if it's wish-fulfillment RGREqeustria or "Yeah, Anon's a guy, but he's a funny looking, hairless ape" RGREquestria where mares "settle" for non-ponies, not seek them out.In such a case, if a classically nerdy or ugly mare came onto me, I'll take what I can get.
>>42513545There's nothing more Trixie than to be accepted into a den of "mare love" because they saw you as fuckable and thus worthy for their colt to combine his genes with after you raped him.After all, the telltale sign of a Trixie is a high body count. There's a colt's cock to ride, and multiple marepussies to scissor.
>>42513545Marble, you're not even a 5.
Rarity is here to escort you back to page 1
>>42514905Thank you lady rarity
>>42514905M'lady.>"M'Lord.M'Lady!>"Go on M'Lord!"After you M'LADY.
>>42514905aha jeez I just don't know how I keep managing to wander off
>>42516428It's why you need a mare
>>42516698What if you wore her like a backpack?
>when you put mares in charge of traffic laws, and they decide they can finish the job faster by combining a few things
>>42517511Don't invent traffic. Solves that issue.
The devil shivers when a nice mare loses her temper
>>42483354OP is in RGRE Equestria, what happens?
>>42518226Oh on don't boop me. I'm so scare.
>>42516985You get a different buff depending on her tribe.
>>42518231He gets stoned for being a faggot.
>>42518226Nice mares finish last
>>42518231Mares try to impress him with their woodworking skills.
>>42518978I thought they dug holes
>>42519014Earth ponies do that.
Sexist mares demand upsies and sandwiches, monkey colt!
>10Got a plot picked out for you and everything, it's right between Flutterrape and AiE.
>>42519014No no no, they PRESENT holes.
>>42519691
>>42518226imagine teasing a mare to the breaking point like that, just completely losing her self control and correcting you
>>42520868What's the aftermath of correction?
>>42521137Pregnancy and your obedience.
RGRE mares visiting Earth and taking advantage of the fact that the laws basically don't apply to them
>>42521578i hate [human] women so much it's unreal
>>42521578Equestrian immigrants get out!
You know, RGR "Get pregnant! Get pregnant! Get pregnant!" sounds like something the mare would be yelling to motivate her self for getting knocked up during sex.
>>42521578>"It's true! Humie stallions are basically free game!"
>>42522034N-no. We’re not easy.
>>42521937>tfw marelets are so dysgenic they have to resort to this shit just to try to get pregnantwhen will they learn?
>>42522340Kinda makes me imagine the sad scenario ofd a couple trying to have foals but having no luck and the mare getting increasingly agitated and desperate as she feels like a failure of a mare.She's yelling at herself with angry tears in her eyes to get pregnant and give her husband foals.
>>42521937To be fair, it might be a functioning spell over there.
>>42521937>>42522539And this is the point where snakeoil salesmares are starting to prey on your mares and getting into their heads.
I want to comfort a wagie-mare working a dead-end job.
>>42523234>"Hey, wanna buy some pussy tightening pills?"
>Anon is a fat slob peice of shit, stuffing his face with burgers all day long, but mares just go crazy over him because they think they can fix him.
