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They made me work a double shift because the dumb motherfuckers who do inventory can't count past ten and I have to do more in 12 hours, kinda wanna jump off a bridge rn.

Anyway here's some horse words.

=Familia 4=

>You wiggle your toes in the soft sand as you walk along the simple path up the dune hill.
>Between your legs is a blur of action, your girls barely able to contain themselves. At least, one of them was.
>”IthinkIhearitraceyou!” Celestia shouts, bolting off to the top of the hill.
>”Tiiiaaaaaa!” Luna cries as she gallops after.
“Girls! Stay where I can see you!” you shout.
>”Okaaaay!”
>”Yes daddy!”
>You hike your bag up further on your back and hurry along. The top of the dune offers a spectacular view of the gentle waves of the ocean crashing gently along the shore. Down the miles of untouched beach and around to a small peninsula, you spotted rock formations and caves along easy cliff sides.
>The girls, even little Luna who’d grown more restrained than her sister in the years, stood in awe.
>”It’s so big!” Celestia exclaims.
>”We did not think it t’would be so…wow…” Luna says.
>You chuckle to yourself and walk past them, unwedging the umbrella you’d made from your pack and digging it into the ground.
>”What’s that for, daddy?” Celestia asks as she looks the device over. You expand the umbrella from the pole with a FWUMP. Celestia jumps back in shock and kicks her forelegs before she falls on her butt.
>Luna and you both share a laugh while Celestia puffs her cheeks up and pouts.
“Hehe…sorry sweetheart.” You say kneeling down to her level. “As for your question, can you tell me what the temperature is?”
>Celestia blinks once. “Hot?”
“Very, and you know why, don’t you?”
>Celestia points up at the sun in the sky.
“You got it.”
>Your partner’d been telling you via letter what the girls were meant to do, so you’d started basic astrology with them.
>You unfurl a towel along the sand and take a seat on it with your bag.
“So this umbrella is to make shade to keep us cool, understand?
>Celestia and Luna both look up at the shape of the umbrella itself, you see Luna mouthing out the word and chewing it over

>>42516672
“But the other way is right over there.” You say.
>The girls turn and look to the ocean and at least one of their faces lights up like the sun on a snowy mountain.
>”CAN WE FOR REAL?!” Celestia asks.
>”Is it safe…?” Luna asks.
“You can play in it as long as you want and yes, it is perfectly safe. Just don’t go out too far and stay where I can see you, okay?”
>Celestia zips over to you faster than you can blink and hugs you. “Thisisthebestdaddythankyou!” she gets out before rushing off in her little pink swimsuit to the water.
>Luna backs away from the cloud of sand her sister kicked up and nervously rubs her hooves together against her little blue suit. She sometimes got nervous when she was being looked at.
>”I’m uhm…I sh-shall-“
“Have fun, sweetheart.”
>She blinks in surprise and hides her face behind her hair. “Yes, thank you papa…”
>You lean back onto your hands and watch the girls in the water. Celestia was having the time of her life, leaping over the small shin-high waves and bucking the ones that came up to her. A particularly large wave approached her and the little filly quickly learned how to brace herself for a wave crash, albeit only after she was thoroughly soaked by it and spitting water out.
>”It tastes like snot!” she cried.
“That’s the salt-water, hun!”
>”You would know that if you read papa’s books.” Luna said letting the water roll over her fetlocks.
>”I ready!” Celestia shouts.
>Oh no.
“Girls. No fighting.” You say.
>”Yes sir…” the two fillies say in unison.
>Celestia leaves the water and rushes over to you, tugging your arm and giving you her sparkling eyes. “Daddy! Come on! Let’s play!”
>You laugh and let yourself get pulled up, grabbing a toy ball from your bag.
“Alright, alright…watch for jellyfish!”

>>42516675
“Up high!” you say.
>You fling your arm up and toss the ball high into the sky so it frames perfectly in the sun.
>Celestia shoots up from your legs into the air and snatches the ball out of the air in her mouth. She extends her wings and rides along the costal air currents, drifting down to the water slowly and safely.
“Ooop!”
>You sidestep a bit and position yourself to catch Celestia in your arms. The little filly giggles as you hug her to you and pet her mane.
>In the time since you took the girls in, you had faced many tough days, but you always enjoyed your time with Celestia. Perhaps it was due to her slight advantage in age or simply her sunny disposition, but the two of you simply connected.
>That wasn’t to say you didn’t love Luna as well, but you were personally fearful you didn’t know how to handle her. In the years as she grew, she had become more reserved and inquisitive as time had gone on. You were never the cleverest sort and sometimes you felt you were talking to someone twice your age, not nearly a third it. You had snuck into her room at night sometimes to read from her books just so you could engage with her, but Luna seemed content to manage herself most times, it seemed, and you wanted to give her space.
>Speaking of, you look away from Celestia for a moment to keep your eye on Lu-
>No.
>You whip your head back to your umbrella and all along the beach as the icy grip of terror wraps itself around your stomach.
“No…no!”
>You run onto the beach and set Celestia down near the umbrella, looking over the dunes.
“Luna!...LUNA!”
>Celestia pulls her wings close and steps back a bit. “Daddy, you’re scaring me…”
“Honey, stay at the umbrella and DON’T MOVE from it, okay? Don’t leave the shade.”
>”O-okay!”
>You kiss her on the head and then run off down the beach, calling Luna’s name.

>>42516677
“Luna…LUNA!” You shout with your hands cupped around your mouth.
“COME ON, BLUEBERRY! ANSWER ME!”
>You turn your head back towards your campsite silhouetted against the setting sun for the tenth time to make sure it was still there. Celestia’s shadow is stretched against the sand and you see her give a tentative wave.
>How could you lose her?
>She was more than your charge or your ward by now, she was one of your little girls. She was the one who you had to coax out of and into bed each night but loved her baths and called you papa. Her favorite food was spaghetti and her favorite color was purple. She was your littlest girl and if she was hurt you’d-
“LUUUUUNNNNNNAAAAAA!” you cry out again until your voice gives out.
>You pant on the top of the rock you stood on, nothing but the sound of your breath, the ocean, and seagulls in your ears.
>Along with a faint, echo-y “Whaaaaaat?” from below.
>Your head jerks up and you run to the edge of the cliff. You lay on the grass and look into the mouth of the cave who’s ceiling made the hill you stood on.
“LUNA?!”
>”Papa?” you head from the cave.

>>42516682
“LUNA WHERE ARE YOU? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”
>”I am fine, Papa. Is something the matter?”
“STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!”
>You push yourself to your feet and haul ass down the hill in record time. The cave mouth was about as tall as your house and the bottom of its lip was partially submerged in water, you dash through it and onto the rocks inside, descending deeper into the cave. Over the tongue of the cave mouth, you spot a cobalt glow along a flat portion of rock.
“LUNA!”
>”Papa! Come look what I have found!”
>You run up to her and begin looking her over. No cuts or bruises or scuffmarks anywhere while she illuminated the ponds in the floor.
>”These tidal pools create a small ecosystem in this cave totally devoid of sunlight! Look at the little fishies with their big eyes to see in the dark!”
>Science could wait. You kneel down and scoop her up.
“Luna I was worried sick!”
>”Papa! The fieshes!”
“Where WERE you, little filly? You can’t just go wandering off like that!”
>”But papa-!”
“No buts! You can’t go out of my sight like that Luna, not ever.”
>Luna hangs her head and casts her eyes down. “Yes papa…”

>>42516684
>Once you got back to the umbrella, you decided it was time to head home.
>Celestia was exhausted from all the commotion, so she took refuge in your backpack and nodded off.
>Luna meanwhile trots alongside you, still looking down at the ground.
>The silence as you walked home was deafening.
>You sigh.
“Luna, I’m not mad at you…”
>”Thou certainly sounded it…” she whines.
“Papa was scared, Lulu. You weren’t there when I looked over and that scared me a lot.”
>”We were only in the cave…you could have seen us go in…”
“But I didn’t, Luna.”
>”Because though were busy playing with Celestia.”
>That stung you more than you thought. You barely noticed the time melt away when you were playing with Celestia. How much time was there between when you looked at Luna? How early did she even leave? What did you miss with one daughter because you were so engrossed with the other?
“…I’m sorry, sweety. Papa messed up.”
>Luna kicks a rock at her feet. “…We are sorry for worrying you. Next time we will tell your with all due haste.”
“Just promise me you’ll ask for permission, Lulu. And I promise that I’ll never let Celestia have so much of my attention that I miss something as important as you again, okay?”
>Luna nod.
“I love you, little moon.”
>”I love you, too, papa…” she says, nuzzling along your leg.
>You bend down and pick her up, holding her under one arm as you begin to reach the trees by your home.
“Celestia is asleep, how about we have our time and you tell me about the fishes?”
>Luna beams a smile to rival her sisters’ “They were so interesting! They have bigger eyes to see in the dark, and the plants produce their own light in the shadows…”
>You smile and walk along the path home, giving Luna her special kind of attention.

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>>42516685
I'll be around.
You don't hate your job enough.

When I get to being Anonymus In Equestria, I'm going to speak entirely in movie references the ponies wont get.

>>42516672
Don't feel bad, I swear it feels like you can't go two hours without things getting slid to death. I'm constantly questioning how some of the retards I work with manage to survive. Can't even remember something as simple as "press WHITE BUTTON to start, press BLACK BUTTON to stop" without coming to double-check with me at least twice a week. Can't do basic addition, and I'm not talking about shit like 782729+811298 that you'd want some paper for, they're confused by double-digit sums. Then AFTER they waste my time, only then do they say "Oh I could use my phone calculator!" AND THEN THEY FUCK UP THE INPUT THERE TOO, BTW. REPEATEDLY. Another good one is leads from other departments coming and asking me what the fuck their product codes are, or how they're supposed to process something they handle every two weeks. Motherfuckers, you've been working here 5+ years longer than I have, and this isn't even my section. Why don't you know this shit by now?

>>42516977
My job has to tell people now to crawl into the trash comlactor in training. Three times

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>>42517257
That sounds more like an opportunity to filter out unfit new hires to me.

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reposting old green to get us off of life support

>Four hours past the estimated time of arrival…
>Where could he be?
>Your exhaustion was beset by the worry you carried; where once you sleepily wondered when Anonymous would be back, you now pace idly while pretending to read the latest peer-reviewed scientific journal from the Canterlot Institute of Magical Studies.
>The implication that magic could be used to directly interact with the previously-untouchable aether of the world would be far more interesting if the safety of one of your closest friends wasn’t in question.
>For a moment, you think about bouncing your erratic thoughts off of Spike again.
>A quick glance up the stairs and into the darkened corridor beyond reminds you that the poor sleeping dragon doesn’t need to be on the receiving end of another one of your famous one-sided ramblings right now.
>He’d been through three already tonight.
>With a hearty exhale, you tremulously set the journal down on a nearby table before continuing to pace around the living room of Golden Oaks in restless anticipation.
>For what seems like the millionth time in the span of these four hours, you work back through what Anon said his schedule would be like.
>His seminar in Manehattan started the second day of the week, so he had to spend the first day traveling to get there.
>The seminar lasted through the weekend, so he should have left for home today.
>All situations and mishaps taken into account, he should’ve been home by six o’clock, and at the very latest, by eight.
>And yet, here you are, wide awake at midnight, having paced back and forth across almost every inch of your home.
>You pause your endless march, listening out across the stagnant silence for any faint whisper of motion outside, of keys jingling or snow being packed down by his boots.
>Naught but the gentle pitter-patter of snow against the windows graces your ears.
>The sound of winter tapping on the glass grows louder as your thoughts continue to swell in their errancy.
>He brought a bottle of Spike’s dragonfire along with him in case of an emergency, so he should’ve been able to send a letter if anything had gone wrong.
>...unless something terrible happened and he didn’t have the opportunity to write a letter or use the dragonfire in time, but you’d have heard about it if something like that happened.
>Right?
>You’re only three seconds away from taking off into the night in a frantic search before a familiar bipedal rhythm upon the entrance walkway enters the soundscape, muted by both settled snow and thick wooden walls.
>Not a second later, the sound of a key turning in the doorknob brings your thoughts to a halt as it reverberates throughout the living room, a lapse in the otherwise tepid silence.
>Your head turns just in time to catch the door swinging open to reveal your missing companion, whose gaze meets yours almost instantly.

>>42517919
>He smiles softly, eyes half-lidded by exhaustion that is present in everything about him.
>He’s dressed casually, which makes sense, seeing as he didn’t have to do anything but travel today. Still, you wish you could have seen him in that new suit Rarity made for him.
>An acute awareness of the fact that you’re staring without saying anything starts to take hold of you.
>Before you start to visibly fluster, you deign to say something to dispel the silence.
“Sweet Celestia, I was just about to go looking for you, Anon! Are you alright?”
>He sleepily drags his rolling suitcase in behind him and shuts the door before he answers.
>“Oh, yeah, I’m alright,” he replies, a huff of exasperation expelling from his soul. “The trains, however, are another story.”
>You stroll over to the couch, planting yourself on the far end while he releases his grip on the suitcase and falls into his seat closer to the middle, limbs going slack in the process.
>His head rolls back and rests against the cushion, eyes meeting the ceiling as he sinks deeper into his seat.
>“Every single train I took today had a delay, and the train home was stopped for three hours because of a problem with the engine,” he utters softly. “Second longest day of my life, I think.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re home, in spite of all that.”
>He hums an agreement before casting a look your way, turning his head slightly toward you.
>“By the way, why are you still up? I thought you had a girl’s day out tomorrow.”
>You squint your eyes at him in disbelief.
>Is he serious??
“Because I was worried something had happened to you! You said you’d be here by eight at the latest, and you weren’t, so my mind started wandering like it usually does, and, well… I couldn’t let it go.”
>He picks his head up off of the cushion and fully directs his attention towards you, turning his body halfway to assist in that regard.
>“I’d have sent you the letter if something bad had happened, Twi,” he reassures you, though it doesn’t really work.
“What if you couldn’t write the letter in time, or couldn’t use the dragonfire before something happened?
>“I had my letter pre-written on the parchment you gave me,” he replies, smiling the same gentle smile from before. “And the bottle of Spike’s fire was always in the very top of my duffle bag just in case anything went awry.”
>On any other night, that should’ve been enough to soothe your nerves, but for some reason, you can’t help but sigh and throw your own head against the cushions, closing your eyes in the process.
>Why are you still so tense?
>“Hey.”
>Anon’s voice brings you out of your stupor, and as you open your eyes, you see that he’s now fully facing you, sitting up completely.
>“What can I do to make you feel better, hm?” he asks, genuine concern laden in his tone.
>You search his features for an answer you can give him, but come up with nothing, settling for a shrug.

>>42517921
“I don’t know. I don’t know why I got so worried. I mean, I worry a little bit every time you or Spike or the girls head out somewhere on your own, but this was… intense.”
>You shuffle a bit as you turn to face him in the same manner that he’s facing you.
>When you’re both sitting down, you almost reach his height, on account of the fact that he’s bipedal and you’re quadrupedal.
>“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“I do, but I don’t even know where to begin.”
>You hang your head and shut your eyes with a slightly shaky breath.
“I’m probably still a bit anxious, in all honesty.”
>From the blackness of your closed eyelids, you hear Anonymous doing something in front of you.
>A second later, something small hits the cushion between you, judging from the negligible impact.
>Picking your head back up, you discover that he’s taken off his winter gloves, which now lie between the two of you.
>A warm grin spreads across his still-tired countenance.
>“Want me to do the thing?” he asks in a comforting voice.
>A warmth very quickly spreads across your cheeks, and you pray to Celestia that it’s not visible.
>He’s done this for you on a number of occasions when you’ve flown off the rails, and it’s worked every time.
>This is just the first time you’ve been nervous about it.
>There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, of course. It’s just your friend helping you calm down.
>Sheepishly, you nod your head and hold out your hoof toward him, leaning against the cushion as you do, relaxing as much as possible.
>Your eyelids shut once more as he takes your hoof in his hand, stroking it back and forth with his thumb.
>His grip is firm, but tender; the perfect amount of pressure to dull your stream of consciousness and root you in the here and now.
>Never mind the fact that this is something that typically only couples do.
>Never mind the fact that he’s the only one you’ve ever held hooves with. Well, hand and hoof, to be accurate.
>Never mind the fact that you now realize you have a gigantic crush on him, and probably have for a while.
>All that matters right now is that he’s home, he’s okay, and everything is fine.
>Before long, the nerves leave you completely, and pure exhaustion sets in.
>Your breathing becomes much more drawn out as your senses dull.
>You hear Anonymous say something, but it’s muddled and hazy.
>You don’t have the time or energy to decipher what exactly it was before the realm of sleep envelops you in its silky embrace.

https://ponepaste.org/8826
AC green's production is currently in full swing

>>42517925
Sweet, how big is it?

>>42517526
I’m not cleaning the compactor after that, fuck off

>>42517919
Cute horse

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>>42518248
it'll probably be a medium size green, i don't really wanna go above 25-30 or so chapters. i struggle with concision though so we'll see where it goes

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>>42517925
>Anon the therapy animal

>>42518969
He has the potential. A LOT of therapeutic helping is just making people smile and laugh.

>>42518955
Why does this picture give me porn vibes

For some reason I have this listed as "Familia Short", I don't know why it's short, but whatever.

“Eat up, buttercups!” you say as you sling some pancakes onto the girls plates.
>Celestia claps her hooves together and squeals while Luna sniffs her stack. “No butter -again-?” she whines.
“Sorry sweetheart.”
>The cows in the field nearby hadn’t been cooperative. It’d be awkward if they ever cognized…
>”Now Luna.” Celestia begins to scold. “Daddy worked very hard to get us these, we should show him how thankful we are.”
>”We would be more thankful with some butter.” The little Nighthorse said.
“I’ll get it for you next time, sweety. Honest promise.”
>Luna rests her head on her hoof on her face but smiles when she looks at you. “Thank you, Papa.”
>You give her one back and the three of you enjoy a relaxing meal.
>Until…
>”Daddy?”
“Yes, Celestia?”
>”Did you have a mommy and a daddy before you had us?”
>That surprises you enough that your pancake bite gets lodged in your throat and throws you into a coughing fit. You see Celestia and Luna’s eyes widen in panic, the older sibling races over to you and begins striking the your back as quick and as hard as she can.
>”Sorry! Sorry! I’m Sorry!” she cries.
>Once you cough the offending food from your windpipe, you hold a hand up.
“It’s fine, sweety you just…surprised me is all.”
>The little princess looks down at her hooves in shame. “I’m…sorry…you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to…”
“No no, it’s about time I told you both.
>You get up from the table and sit down on the couch, patting your lap in the universal dad-signal for “climb up” which both the girls quickly respond to.

>>42519730
>You pet the girl’s manes in your lap as you think back.
“To answer your question, yes I had a mom and a dad, everything alive has one.”
>They both nod. “Were they nice?” Celestia asks.
>You nod as a familiar smile crosses your lips. You can remember so vividly how they looked, their smells, even so far after the fact…
“The best, Celly…I wouldn’t be who I am today without them.”
>”Well what were they like?” Luna asks abruptly.
>You muss her mane. “Good question!”
>Leaning your head back, you remember as far bas as you can, like they’re standing right beside you.
“Dad was…stern. Very stern. But he always had this innate sense of when something was really bothering you and in those moments he could be your best friend in the world. And he always learned from his mistakes.”
>You smile and close your eyes.
“And mom was always there for you, always helping you figure things out until you could do it on your own, and was always in your corner no matter what. She’d give me all the confidence I ever needed and more.”
>Celestia and Luna sit quiet for a moment.
>”Do they miss you? Since you’re here with us?” Celestia asks.
>You had of course told your girls you weren’t native some time ago; it wasn’t a secret but what you were about to tell them had been.
“No…no my mommy and daddy passed away before I came here.”

>>42519780
>Saying that brought back the memories of those days shortly after their deaths, but all you felt was the feeling of picking at a healed over scab at this point.
>The girls hang their heads in a mix of fear and sadness. One of the first lessons you had taught them was about the concept of death so that they could find the appropriate appreciation for life, but it still scared them as it should young children.
>”O-oh…” Luna says.
>You pet them both to comfort them.
“Dad…got very sick one day and had to be in bed for a long time, and one day the sickness just…got too bad. Mom was very sad after that…the doctors say she died of a broken heart.”
>You feel a sensation on your lap and look down to see Celestia hugging your leg as tight as she can while Luna buries her face in your stomach.
>”D-daddy please stop…”
>”That’s the saddest story we ever he-heard…”
>You can hear the tears in their voices when you scoop them up.
“Girls, girls, it’s alright. It was a long time ago.”
>After the girls first arrived here, you began to entertain the idea that it was perhaps your orphaned status that was a reason you were brought to…this place. With no one to miss you, you could be given a new purpose.
>You lift the girls up and feel them nuzzle your neck for a long time.
“I think my mommy and daddy would be very proud of my little girls…”
>”We love you, daddy.”
>”Pretty please do not leave us.”
>You hug them closer. “I love you too, girls.”
>You sit there a moment to let the girls calm down.
“Come on, the food is getting cold and we have a full day ahead of us!”
>The girls smile at you when you take them back to the table and continue eating.
>You sit down and feel a wave of satisfaction wash over you, knowing now as you watched the two of them what gave your parents the motivation to do all they did for you.

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>And- And, you know, this guy, this Anonymous character- 'Blahnonymous' is what I call em'..
>He's so low energy, that, you know, I'm inclined to believe he's nothing more than, a uhh, griffon psy-op designated to weaken the great, great equestrian society with his boops and headpats.
>THAT I can tell you right now, my friends.

>>42520037
Q anon in equstria?

>>42520034
Celly my liege

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>>42519784
loving this little anthology series

>>42516662
Anon sure has a big basement

>>42520865
Thanks!

>>42520034
Celly is pure

>>42520037
Hooves too big

>>42522281
I think Bighoof is real, but he's just blurry and out of focus.

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>>42519110
>Anon moonlights as a therapist on the weekends
>Therapy methods consist of snuggles and freshly brewed tea (made with love, of course)
>Services become so popular that even royalty indulges once in a stressful while

>>42522821
He fits better as a clown.

>>42523115
RIIIIIIIDIIIIII
PAGLIAAAAACI-ANON

>>42523439
Yes, but rather than be sad, he's horny.

>>42523621
*He's Hitman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfUBAZdNvCU

>>42524119
Just put the phone down

>>42523644
What?