>>42546552
Still waiting for Sunburstanon and SQA's The Long and Short of it greens to update.

As a human man I demand the right to pet mares in public

>>42546600
I hope to complete the first draft of the next update: TODAY!

>>42546898
Damn, guess the demonic ritual at MareFair to revive it actually worked

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3.36 MB GIF

>>42546898
Awesome, I'm looking forward to it!

>>42546898
hype, hopefully we can stay alive that long lol

>>42546898
Neat!

mare?

>>42546552
>Thread question
I'd raise my children with the values of the universe I'm in. In RGRE, the natural order is mare primacy, so that's how it is in my household.

where did the RGRE regulars go? this used to be more active with greens than just mostly bumps

>>42546552
Mostly RGR but there's always exceptions. If a stallion can keep up with a job (not just do the work but not be a whiny sheath when the mares are bantering) then there's no reason to stop him.

(Of course, 99% of stallions can't do the job without being given lower standards, but still.)

>>42548264
I check in from time to time but my life got super busy recently

I know it's a controversial question but since the dust has settled, how competent of a captain was Shining Armor? Do you think a mare would have done a better job than him?

>>42548509
>Canterlot successfully invaded four times
>Crystal empire successfully invaded twice
>Zero unsuccessful invasions
>Only two invasions required a "siege"
I don't know how effective he is at the rest of his duties, but his defenses are abysmal.

>>42546815
you already can
what are the cuddled mares gonna do? Complain?
>>42548509
I just think he's not taking his job seriously. Or he delegated the tasks to some other people without ensuring the right access to resources and knowledge required to set up defensive measures.
>>42548676
Rogal Dorn would FROWN upon such results

>>42548676
Shining Armor's promotions mostly stem from his proficiency at polishing rosettes.

>>42548718
That's not the only thing he's polishing, if you catch my drift

I was successful in my goal. Soon the tweaks will be tweaked, and the next update shall arrive.

>>42549095
WHOOPS!

>>42549095
awesome news!

>10
stallions cannot be trusted to not fall down past page 10 it seems

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>>42548713
Vulkan spends his time petting poni and chillaxing. Dorn spends his time unfucking the royal guard. Still probably gets random hugs from guard ponies despite his attempts to get them to stop, though. Pic unrelated.

I am now interested in a sub alicorn twilight into findom

>>42550380
>findom
perkele

>>42550380
I could see that working. Maybe some cute colt at the royal treasury gets frustrated with her reckless spending and chews her out, then notices how turned on she got from it. Pushes her to make him her personal financier who develops a strict budget, making her beg every time she wants something.

>>42547064
>pic
Pike then had all the doors in their house made 2 feet shorter.

>>42551143
I should have had her do that. That would've been hysterical

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Rare Pike spotted

IDK I'd rather be Twilight's sugar baby, able to bring irresponsible amounts of money into motion with a few delicate caresses and wide pleading eyes.

>>42551812
cute!

>>42551513
She would have been questioned by the ponice every time Anon showed up to work with a bruised horn

>>42552550
>bruised horn

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1.05 MB GIF

>>42552550
Horns don't get bruises, at most Anon would feel the same pain as rarity in pic related

>>42552571
>>42552599
Bones can be bruised. I don't know if they get discolored like skin, though.

>>42552599
>The way the horn bounces like a spring doorstop
I feel like getting hit like that would easily be up there with one of the worst feelings ever

>Horn the most sensitive part of a unicorn
>Wings the most sensitive part of a pegasus

What do Earth Ponies get?

>>42552697
You could take your pick.
>Earfs generally more touch sensitive all around
>Sensitive hooves
>Sensitive teats/balls
>Sensitive cocks/coochies

>>42552697
Laid, and no weaknesses because they are the master race.

>>42552701
an earth pony typed this reply when unicorns would be by default the best out of the three tribes with unlimited magic potential

>>42551812
cute little colty mare in dire need of embarrassing snuggles

>>42552697
I suppose that a sensitive mouth/tongue would make the most sense evolutionarily, help them be able to tell when food starts going bad or wasn't grown right. Plus big strong alpha mares being extra weak to soft wet kisses is hot.

>>42552750
>spoiler
Instantaneous diamonds. Better than sex.

>>42552750
>"Big strong" earth mare giving you lip
>Give her some "lip" back
>Mare becomes puddle
Hachi machi

>>42552704
Most unicorns don't practice or study magic enough to do any more than basic telekinesis. Powerful spellcasters are like powerlifters in our world. The vast majority of people do not put in the years of training required to lift 500kg. Unlimited magic potential doesn't count for much when most of the populace willingly stagnates at the level they were at as fillies and colts.

>>42552899
This, but instead of magic and ponies, it's about /fit/ness and people

>>42552750
>Stallions being accosted by earth mares are told to kiss them into submission

>>42553085
Oh yeah that'll totally keep Jane the Cuddler away.
There's a reason stallions used to require female escorts.

>>42553085
>vampire but feeds via kisses-
>wait a minute, that's a changeling!
except changelings got no style

>>42553824
She has no style
She has no grace
This bug has
a funny face!

>>42554036
>Ywn talk your bug wife into stretching her hooves, if she needs to.

>>42554185

Don't you mean legs?

>>42554450
I guess that works too.

>”Anonymous, dear, maybe you ought to try picking a battle you can win? For once?”
>Fuck off.
>That’s what you’d have said back home, at least.
>But in Equestria, that’s not how dude to dude communication works.
>Telling this guy to fuck off wouldn’t be a fun bit of banter; it’d ruin the vibe of the whole afternoon.
>So, you improvise.
“You’re one to talk. How’d that border negotiation with the griffons go, again?”
>The stallion in question rolls his head toward you, ever so slightly, as if to hit you with a flat stare.
>It was a moot gesture, considering the cucumbers that covered his eyes.
>”HA!”
>The expression finally breaks, and he descends into a haughty laugh that you’re still unconvinced is natural.
>”You’re getting better!” Prince Blueblood says. “I think I was wrong about you. You might have made it as a noble after all.”
>That’s right, you’re hanging out with Blueblood.
>How did your life come to this?
>Your head lowers on instinct, and you can feel your ears flattening against your skull.
>Crazy how that feels so normal now.
>You blow a raspberry with your freaky horse-lips into the suds surrounding you.
“I think I preferred the idea of them tearing me to shreds.”
>Blueblood laughs again, harder this time, and with slightly less of that snooty edge.
>AHA! He IS laughing like that for show!
>Peeling the cucumbers off his eyes with his golden magic, he finally makes eye contact.
>”All the more reason I’d have loved to see you in the courts! Ah, maybe the Griffons would have listened to you. They tend to appreciate more ‘rough and tumble’ personalities.”
>He sighs, almost whistfully, before letting his eyes drift back to the ceiling.
>”Yet unlike them, you’ve at least retained an appreciation for life’s finer things.”
>Amen to that.
>It’s half of why you were here, at what Blueblood had called the “premier stallion’s getaway.”
>This place was a genuine Roman bathhouse, and one fit for the emperor at that!
>Nearly the entire building was made of marble, and you couldn’t look in a single direction without spotting some gold trim or a statue.
>It was a true feast for the eyes, both inside and out.
>Even with no real love of stallions’ spa days, its name alone was enough to pique your interest when Blueblood invited you out.

>>42554505
>He’d been extending offers like that for a while now.
>Only occasionally after you first hung out, and then frequently after you ran into each other at the board game shop.
>The first few had been “lost in the mail” moments after you laid eyes on them.
>Come on, gold-leaf stationery just to come to your place and drink? That’s just excessive.
>But at a certain point, you started to feel bad, and it wasn’t like you had much else going on.
>So, eventually, you obliged.
>It was... surprisingly nice.
>Nothing like hanging out with the boys back on Earth had been, but it had its undeniable charms about it.
>And that charm has kept you obliging since! At least... every so often.
>Now here you are, spending Equestria’s tax dollars on a stallion’s day at the spa.
>And daydrinking.
>From the comfort of the “herbal” bubble bath you were soaking in, a spectral hand that you imagined to be your personal butler fetched your glass of wine.
>Always wine, of course.
>The one time you floated getting something else, Blueblood immediately shot it down.
>APPARENTLY, stallions considered day drinking anything other than wine alcoholism!
>Pussies.
>Taking a big swig, you were disgusted by the growing taste you’ve acquired for this stuff.
>You’d bet this was a Prench import, he loves that kind of crap.
“Okay, I’m not gonna clear his name per se. That’d pretty much be impossible considering that by his own admission... he did it.”
>Blueblood inclines his head toward you once more, clearly reinvested in your scheme.
“But I looked into the stuff Dubois was talking about, how hard he pushed for stallions in the Wonderbolts. He was apparently a huge stallions advocate back in the day.”
>You gaze out upon the bathhouse, your eyes coincidentally falling on the statue of a majestic pegasus spreading his wings.
>Quite the sight, like something out of an art museum.
>Except... the borderline pornographic detail with which the artist rendered the poor dude’s balls.
>A mare artist, evidently.
“Seems like he was a genuinely good guy at one point, and don’t you think that’s kind of weird? That this stand-up guy would just swan dive off the deep end over some record?”
>You flash back to your horrible experience with the Wonderbolts.

>>42554505
This is dog shit.

>>42554508
> It's easy to imagine what dealing with those ponies day in and day out was like, how that would have worn on him.
>Probably like how going into the office wears on you.
“I /know/ there’s more to it than that. Every headline at the time was content talking up ‘stallion pettiness,’ and then sweeping it all under the rug. No. Something pushed him to the brink, and I bet I know what that something is.”
>You cast one last dirty look toward the statue.
“I’m not letting them get away with it.”
>You look back toward Blue, to gauge his reaction.
>The look in his eyes is profoundly sad, like a father being forced to teach his child a hard truth of the world.
>In a voice utterly lacking the earlier sarcastic edge, he says, ”It's still not a fight you can win.”
>You narrow your eyes.
“Its not about winning, it's about sending a message. And that message is, ‘I see you. And I can print shit that’ll stress you out till your mane falls out’. Especially Jargon’s, I’ve seen her sneaking mane tonics.”
>Blueblood tosses the cucumbers away, laughing loudly.
>The abject pettiness of it all clearly tickles him to the bone.
>As he stands from his chair, the look in his eyes is downright devious.
>”Well, it certainly seems foal-proof. And you know I have /no/ objections with sticking it to the elements.”
>He shudders as he steps into the bath.
>You hope it's because of the temperature change and not because of glee.
>”You’d make that Rarity look like an absolute FOOL for missing such a vital detail in her investigation! A fitting punishment for what she did to me at the gala.”
>Ah, that’d be the latter then.
>You don’t even try to hold back your laughter at the equal display of cattiness.
“Haven’t those ponies like... saved the country multiple times?”
>Crossing the pool-sized bath, he comes to rest by your side.
>Or more importantly, by the bottle’s side.
>Pouring himself a glass, he adds, ”Yes, yes, we’re both petty. But there is one thing I ought to ask: do you actually know Wind Rider at all? I don’t. What if he’s simply not the pony you think he is?”
>Your ears fold back again.
>This isn’t the first time you’ve heard that.
>Cut and Pike asked you the same thing when you laid this plan out for them.
>Hell, even /Silken/ asked it when you met up for board game night.
“I’ll find out. If I’m wrong, hopefully Cut can help me re-edit it into something that wasn’t a total waste of time.”

>>42554511
>”Ah, yes!” he says, taking a dainty little sip. “What /do/ your mares think about this? Surely the Grandmaster of Cyber: The Assembly, can’t be too thrilled.”
>You poignantly don’t meet his gaze.
“That’s a complicated question...”


>As you gaze through the cracked door to your bedroom, only one thought runs through your head.
>Anon’s lost his mind.
>You, his beloved fillyfriend Cut N. Paste, can only watch helplessly as he turns your shared bedroom into another conspiracy net.
>A grim echo of the last time he got too personally invested in a story.
“Oh, Pike, what do we do?” you whisper.
>Pike, standing below you and between your legs like a pony mare-tryoshka doll, grimly eyes the scene as well.
>”Have we tried... telling him this is a bad idea?”
“I think we phrased it every novel way we possibly could.”
>Pike’s face scrunches up as she thinks.
>It looks adorable no lesbo though.
>”We could put our hooves down and make him give it a rest.”
>You can tell by the unusual waver in her voice that she doesn’t like the idea.
>Personally, you’re not too hot on it either.
>Especially since it probably won’t work.
“What if... what if we go along with it?”
>The ”What?!” Pike blurts out is definitely more than a whisper.
>It stops the two of you dead, and you both wait with baited breath to see if Anon realized the two of you were spying on him.
>Evidently, he didn’t, because he goes right along stringing up articles on your wall and connecting them with little red threads.
>Celestia, damn it, you thought you threw all that out!
“Hear me out,” you say in an even quieter whisper. “He’s clearly got his heart set on doing this. What’s the worst that could actually happen?”
>Pike looked at you like you’d grown a second head.
>”He makes an enemy out of the /Elements of Harmony/ and RUINS his reputation! You know, the thing he was already worried might be in jeopardy?”
>You flinch.
“Oh, yeah, I-I guess that’s true. But that’s why /we/ get involved! To make sure that doesn’t happen!”
>You gaze up at the myriad scraps of paper he’s already hung.
>Countless quotes, statements, and snippets of articles.

>>42554515
“Besides, he's clearly got /something/ here. I don’t think he really knows what yet, but at least there’s something.”
>Her gaze follows yours, her eyes tracing the lines he’s set up.
>Eventually, after an uncomfortably long time, she sighs.
>”Okay, maybe you’re right. BUT we make a pact here and now that if this gets too far off the rails, we put a stop to it then and there.”
>You nod your head.
“Deal.”
>Sealing the pact with a hoofbump, the two of you push open the door and trot into the room.
>Anon doesn’t even notice.
>He’s huddled himself in the corner, sorting through a pile of papers he’s set there.
>And he’s... whispering to himself?
>”Ahaha, I’ve got her by the balls and she doesn’t even know!”
>Okay, time to say something.
“Anon?”
>He shoots up with a start, his head swiveling to you.
>”Oh, Cut! Pike! I didn’t hear you come in.”
>His eyes dart around the room, as if he finally realizes what he’s spent the last hour doing.
>”Look, I— I know this looks bad, but you’re not going to talk me out of this. I just need to organize my thoughts and—”
>”Anon,” Pike says gently, “We’re not here to talk you out of this. We’re here to help.”
>The way his face lights up tells you this was the right call.
>”Really? Awesome!”
>He floats the stack of papers out from behind him; only then do you realize it's nearly as tall as he is.
>”First, let’s get these all hung up then!”
>You and Pike share a weary look.
“Not... that kind of help,” you say, awkwardly pushing the stack back to the ground with your hoof. “Why don’t you start by walking us through what you’ve got?”
>”Oh!” he says. “Yes! That... that would be a good place to start.”


>Turns out he didn’t have much.
>There were a /few/ inkings of something hidden beneath the surface here and there.
>Character witnesses, excerpts from interviews, and references to complaints being filed that were suspiciously lost.
>”That’s the one that really gets me,” Anon says. “According to my source, Wind’s original file made an off-handed reference to a dozen or so complaints he had filed, but my source couldn’t find anything about them! Supposedly, they were all “lost” when a freak storm wrecked the Wonderbolts' offices a decade ago.”

>>42554519
>”Yeah, and half the city with it,” Pike said. “I remember hearing about that storm; it's lucky that there was anything left of that building at all.”
>”Isn’t it just?” Anon replies in a tone that sets your fur on edge.
>An uneasy look passes between Pike and yourself.
>You do not like where this is going.
“Now Anon... what exactly are you suggesting?”
>He leaps to his hooves, triumphant.
>”It was a /cover up/! They must have blown up their own building to— Oh my God I sound fucking insane.”
>Oh, thank Celestia.
>You release a sigh so deep and so vast it could be qualified as “abyssal”.
>For a moment, the insensitivity of the moment strikes fear into your heart, but you remember this is Anon.
>He doesn’t need the foal-shoes.
>”Yeah, you were freaking me out,” says Pike, clearly agreeing.
>He wilts, just a little.
>”Well, it... sounded better in my head.”
>”Less insane?”
>He nervously taps his hooves together, “A little.”
>You look up at all the articles hung around you.
>At least when he laid them all out like this, there was a pattern.
>He’d arranged them mostly chronologically, with the most recent ones nearest you.
>You could easily see that the further away you got, the denser the articles became.
>At the start of his career, he was everywhere.
>Interviews, extra shows, colt’s outreach...
>But the closer you got to modern day, the less he appeared.
>Either because he stopped appearing in public, or ponies stopped interviewing him.
>Peppered in there were also a few scandals involving the Wonderbolts, usually corresponding with a dip in his public appearances.
>Well, they called them scandals then.
>If they happened today, and /you/ were the editor, you’d have called them “allegations”.
>And they were always against the Wonderbolts, not him.
>They usually involved him, though, or the other stallions on the team.
>It was definitely enough to make you wonder.
“So what do we do?”
>The question seems to breathe a little life back into the stallion.
>”I’m not sure. I don’t think I’ll get anything else out of these,” he says, gesturing to the articles. “And they seem like all I’ll get my hooves on up here in Canterlot. If I could interview some of the ponies involved, I might get somewhere, but they all live in Cloudsdale.”

>>42554521
>Pike, looking into his sad eyes, did what every mare in love does the moment her stallion asks for something:
>She gives it to him.
>”Why don’t we go to Cloudsdale then?”
>He perks up immediately, obviously having not considered the option at all.
>”Really? Can we afford that? We’ve already got that trip to Thestralia coming up.”
>”Pfffft, what do you mean, ‘can we afford that’? Three tickets to Cloudsdale would be what, fifty bits?”
“If that,” you add. “This time of year, they’re always doing package discounts.”
>Anon stares at the two of you, wide-eyed and utterly stupefied.
>”I forget this place doesn’t try to fuck you over 24/7 sometimes. Yeah, yeah! Let’s go to Cloudsdale! We could spend a couple of days there, I could ask around...”
>Something occurs to you then.
“Have you ever been before?”
>He blushes.
>”No. I’ve never actually left Canterlot if I’m being honest.”
>Instantly, you and Pike lock eyes.
>This is perfect!
>A weekend trip, just the thing he needs to get his spirits up.
>”We’ll leave first thing tomorrow then! We’ll have to stop by a rune shop to pick up some cloudwalking talismans. Unless you feel like casting the spell over and over.”
>He laughs, shaking his head.
>”No no no, that's okay. I’ll leave that to the professionals.”
>From there, everypony spent the evening in much better spirits.
>You packed, planned sightseeing, and Anon set out a list of ponies he wanted to interview.
>It all seemed to be coming together... until around seven o’clock.
>The three of you were in the bedroom, enjoying each other’s company, when a hoof began frantically slamming against your front door.
>Anon stopped midway through what he was doing, his mouth hanging loosely in the air.
>”Uh, shit. Were either of you expecting anyone?”
>No, and whoever they were, they would soon face the fury of a thousand suns for clam-jamming you.
>Pike frantically tore herself out of the lingerie she’d put on.
>”Whoever it is,” she said, failing to sound collected, “they sound desperate.”
>Another round of frantic knocking reverberates through the room, this time followed by a voice.

>>42554524
>”Cut? CUT? I know you live here now! Get out here!”
>JARGON!?
>”What the hell is she doing here!?” Anon hisses.
>His anger is obvious, but this time it pales compared to yours.
>You practically throw yourself out of bed, lava in your veins.
>First, she sets Anon off and BELITTLES him at work, and now she has the audacity to come to your home right as you were about to get your teats sucked!?
>This was an OUTRAGE! It was unfair!
>You stomp through the apartment as Anon and Pike watch in shock, marching right up to the front door.
>When your aunt had called you into her office, you’d been too weak to stand up for yourself.
>It had been like being a little filly again.
>But you are no filly, and this is YOUR house.
Throwing open the door, you shout, “WHAT!?”
>Jargon stops, her hoof halfway through the motion of banging on your door again.
>She takes a moment to take the scene in, her eyes flicking from your furious expression to Anon and Pike still standing stupefied in the bedroom.
>Despite how frantic she was moments before, she attempted to appear composed.
>”Ahem, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“You ARE. So TALK.”
>Your forwardness takes her aback.
>”Look, Cut I—”
>And then she does something you’d never have expected, not in a million years.
>She throws herself at your hooves.
>”Oh by Celestia’s aching teats, I need your help!” she cries from the floor. “I made a horrible mistake! Printed Press and Guten Berg are running our paper into the ground!”
>Funny how it was “our” paper now.
>But if this was a tactic to deflect your anger, it worked like a charm.
“WHAT!? It hasn’t even been a week! HOW!?”
>”They don’t know what they’re doing!” she cries. “We’re a mess Cut! I don’t care what you run from your coltfriend I’m undemoting you! Just please come in tomorrow and help me fix this!”
>You’ve never seen your aunt like this; it must be really bad.
>Of course you’ll help! She’s still family after all.
>Unfortunately for her...
“I was actually going to Cloudsdale with Pike and Anon tomorrow...”
>”NO!” Jargon shouts like you just put a sword to her neck.
>Leaping up, she wraps her hooves around you like a life preserver.
>“I’m already going to have to print a retraction! I need you to help me now!”

>>42554529
>A RETRACTION!?
>J. Jargon Justification NEVER prints retractions!
>Oh jeez, oh no!
>You look back at Anon and Pike, a war being waged within yourself.
>You should leave her high and dry; she deserves nothing less.
>But... she’s family.
With a sigh, you say, “Okay. I’ll come by the office tomorrow."
>And like that, the moment of vulnerability passes.
>Jargon’s back on her hooves, like nothing ever happened.
>The only outward sign she was just on the floor, nearly sobbing, is her sigh of relief before she speaks.
>”Thanks, Cut! I knew I could count on you.”
>Then, leaning past you, she says the most horrible thing you’ve ever heard.
>”Colt, tonight you suck my niece’s teats ‘till milk comes out! That’s an order!”
>You feel your soul blast out of your body at Mach speed.
>Anon begins to scream, “WHAT THE FU—”
>But he’s cut off by Jargon slamming your own door in your face.
>...
>Silence reigns in the apartment.
>As far as you can tell, your spirit ended up five blocks down the road thanks to the psychic damage you just took.
>Anon is the first to recover.
>”God DAMN her! How the fuck does she expect a dude to have sex after his BOSS says that to him?”
>Pike is next, “Anon, I don’t think Cut’s breathing.”
>The two of them rush over to you.
>You still can’t move, can’t even think.
>Your mind is out to pasture, still trying to process what just happened.
>”Cut! Cut! Oh man, what do we do?”
>Pike passes a shifty eye between him and between your legs.
>”You know, you probably could—”
>”Pike, if I suck her titties now, I’ll never be able to do it again without thinking about Jargon. If THAT happens, I will actually throw that bitch out of a window next time I see her.”

>>42554532
That's all for tonight! https://ponepaste.org/158

>>42554539
hell yeah can't wait to get home to read this

>>42554532
>I'll never be able to do it again without thinking about Jargon
I think that ship has been sailed, sunk, and salvaged. Memory can be a bitch.

>>42552697
Try playing an Earth poni's ass like a bongo, and report back your findings

>>42546552
>question
RGR. No discussion here.

>>42555336
>[Insert the Spy saying "slap my ass" here]

>>42554539
fantastic update, thanks SQA!

>>42555653
You're very welcome!

>>42554529
Did Jargon go to Cut’s other home first? Seems to imply that.

>>42556206
She went to Cut's old apartment from before she de facto moved in with Anon and Pike (she still pays the rent and uses it as temporary storage)

>>42553706
need more fics with mares escorting stallions

>>42553706
Need more stories with Jane the cuddler

File: invasionoftheinvaders.jpg (1.67 MB, 2000x3000)

1.67 MB JPG

how long do you think it would take for these mares to take control of earth and run it like a proper civilised should. that way the human stallions can finally enjoy life and get back into the kitchen

>>42558015
Oh please, if mares invaded Earth, they'd be begging all the sexy long-legged aliens to step on their teats.

>>42546552
>Thread question:
neither the important thing is knowing how to make MY FUCKING KETAMINE BUTTERFINGERS YOU CLUMSY FUCKER I WILL WHIP YOU WITH A HOT PROD MOTHERFUCKER!!!! YOU WE SHOULD HAVE ABORTED YOU!!!!

>>42558015
depends on whether or not chinks find them tasty

>>42558633
Anon, Mongols eat horses

>>42554532
Now I’m wondering how the pegasi city is going to treat a bat amongst them.

>>42546552
Anyone got a link to What Mares Want? Heard about it at Mare Fair but it wasn't finished at the greentext panel!

>>42558871
redpill me on this

>>42558871
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/438261/what-mares-want-rgre

>>42558992
Thank you!!!
>>42558972
It's exactly this one

>>42558871
kek I forgot there was a reading of this. If (You)'re new to RGRE read The Unit and Johnny Bravo on CaptainAnonymous' account too.
he was taken by the propeller too soon ;_;

>>42558015
depends on whether magic > guns or magic < guns

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>>42559245
Doesn't matter, because fist beats both.

>>42559137
Reading right now!

>10

>>42559000
>AiE
ah, well, nevertheless

>>42560759
>Complaining about AiE in RGRE

>>42554539
Thank you so very much, I didn't know how much I needed something to pick me up.

>>42560882
AiE is fine. It's *fine*.
Just be nice to have some variety now and then, that's all.

>>42561185
Be the change you want to see in the world

>>42561433
I know I should, every time I try to get writing I'm just so disappointed in what comes out. Why everything so hard.

What would you do to permanently ruin a mare's street cred?

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Only 7 images? Jesus this place has gone to the dogs

>>42561831
Gush to everypony about how adorable it is when she wants to put her head in my lap and have me call her a pretty pony as I pet her

>>42561831
Bring her her favorite packed lunch at the most inopportune time (I put it in a cute little box too)

>>42561859
They're all out hat shopping and stocking up on first aid kits for their mare's home improvement attempts!
The men who used to ride the mare-ousel are all 'that was me in the PAST!' househusbands now, bro!

>>42554532
Dang, thank you again for the chapter update. Love to see more from these characters. That ending sent my sides to equestria kek

>>42562056
I can't help but feel that mares wouldn't care about a stallion's past unless it directly related to some rivalry of hers

>>42554532
She should add an op-ed about the size of her tuft when she gets back to the office.

>>42562133
>SEX!!! now

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>tfw Anon says he's a 'strong independent monkey' so you blast him with a love spell and he starts eating out the nearest guardsmare

>>42554510
>NO NO STOP MAKING GREENS KILL THIS GENERAL
lol lmao even

>>42563291
he was already going to do that, now you look like a fool for assuming you did anything

>>42563291
>"That doesn't mean the spell worked! I was going to do that, anyway!"

>>42563369(cont.)
Now I'm imagining Shining saying >>42563368 to cadence and then Anon popping his head up and saying >>42563369

>>42563291
>Can'tdance the alicorn of Date Rape

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Pros: Cute mare. Prominent crime fighter. Regularly fights sexy tentacle villain who will kidnap you biweekly.
Cons: Turns into a rage monster when upset and will probably beat the shit out of you if dinner is late, too cold, or too hot.

>>42564335
>Cons: [...] will probably beat the shit out of you if dinner is late, too cold, or too hot
Con???

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>>42564335
The Mane-iac would never do any of that.
She's actually quite the gentlemare once you get to know her.

>>42564359
The kidnapping is because she doesn't know how else to ask to join the herd. In fact, it would be mutually beneficial since she could wrap you up when saddle rager beats you to lessen the blows.

>>42564335
Sounds like a below average amount of domestic violence from a ponice mare actually

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>one chance at life
>born as a sub-8 mare

>>42562174
You're very welcome!
>>42562852
Based idea

>>42563291
we just do not get enough mind control in here

>>42566194
Need more stories of Anon's drink getting roofied and he cleverly swaps the roofied drink with the mares

>>42566628
Might be said watching an earth pony fumbled around with the pill before even putting it in the drink.

>>42566933
>Anon takes just one sip of the drink because he feels bad.
>Watching her slowly start crying as she tried and failed to slip it into the drink.
>Turns out that's enough for a earth pony drug to knock a dude on his ass.
>She didn't even get to rape him, he was OUT

>10
The thread must have been date-kidnapped by Mane-iac

>>42567633
Mane-iac only kidnaps you to protect you from your abusive ponice chief wife

>>42546552
I love twilight

>>42568118
>t. Posterfoal for battered husband syndrome

>>42567931
Cuddle Wings is NOT abusive and you should not ask the Mane-iac what she may or may not have been doing at night before she married you. As if the Mane-iac would reveal any secret identities that DO NOT exist anyway.

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>princess applejack comes to an end
i'm gonna miss those friends

>>42568282
I would allow Cuddle Wings to consensually non-consensually snuggle me

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>>42568896
>princess applejack comes to an end
I never took part but it's always sad when a long running general retires

>>42569331
I avoided it like the plague because I had zero patience for "uplifted alicorn princess" anything after MMC ruined everything, but I'm impressed they were consistent this long.

>Anon is not paying attention to the other stallions at the table
>Instead he's thinking about anything else
"I really like the taste of Dr. Pepper"
>When Anon blurts this out Caramel chokes on his drink
>Just who is this Pepper and what have they been doing to this poor confused alien stallion

>>42569929
Now I'm imagining encountering a mare name Dr. Pepper who's pussy tastes like Dr. Pepper

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>>42570005

>>42570074
>Anon met Dr. Pepper while searching for a physician to treat his severe carpal tunnel syndrome

>>42570005
Somewhere else, an Anon meets Dr. Thunder.

>>42571327
>Dr. Thunder starts calling him 'Lighting' because lightning cums before the thunder

>>42571327
Now you're gonna tell me somewhere in Equestria is a Ms. Pibb.

>>42572025
>ywn get clowned on by Faye Gogh

>surprise a sick classmate by bringing missed homework to her house
>well-meaning dad lets you in and shows you around
>"and this is our daughter's room. she's really into politics!"
>opens door
>
what do you see anons?

>>42572766
>she's really into politics!
Hundreds of photos of the Princesses, of course.

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>finally start going to the gym
>mares ogle you like a piece of meat
win:win

>10
up

>>42569331
>>42568896
>ive been away
What happened?

>>42574329
princess applejack wrapped up its 'story' spanning more than a decade and three hundred threads
their curtain closed, and they're one of the precious few threads that did so on their own terms

>>42574338
When I think about all of the abandoned fics, dropped projects, or worse shit that just died out by nobody bumping it with actual content besides “bump” for a month before it just gives up, I always have to give props when someone sees it through till the end. They stuck it out, they finished it off and even gave an epilogue to show where everyone ends up in the future, and they finally bowed out gracefully with one final goodbye thread.

Here’s to you, one of the few, the proud. The… fans of Applejack? Really?

>>42574965
I guess being in the background is conducive to a slow burn.

>>42574872
Both of you.

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good night rgre

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>>42574872
>me

>>42574872
Celestia is the slut. She gives what she's got to everypony.

>>42576100
A motherly Anon?

>>42568896
Damn, talk about the long game. GG

>>42575781
WAKE UP

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>>42576264
now that’s something to think about

>>42576264
>early 1900s/late 1800s Anon who had to care for his 7 younger siblings because his 'pa died of tuberculosis and 'ma is paralyzed from the waist down due to polio

>>42576706
>Mares say stallions have "motherbearing hips" because their hips bear the "burden" of making them mothers

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>>42574872
CELESTIA IS A HUGE SLUT. FLUTTERSHY IS MOTHERLY

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>>42574872
We all know Anon is the biggest slut.
He's always wearing clothes and making googoo eyes at guardmares.

>>42576913
An all you can rape guardmare fiesta

>>42577314
Only if they get their hooves on some Zebrican alchemical contraband. Otherwise at some point he'll run dry, and an eclair without cream is rather bland.

>>42573181
Twilight is a cutie.

bump

>>42574872
Trick question, both are Celestia.

Colony insects often keep the few males secluded in a small section of the hive near the queen. Their sole function is reproductive.

>>42578752
why did you do him like that

>>42577314
Mmm, strong, washed guardsmares. Savory.
Makes me wonder if back during the unification wars Celestia and her companions would throw horsellenistic-style orgies.

>>42578725
the OG goon cave
problem with the parallel is, unlike ants, most mares can be bred and have independent minds

>>42578809
Never stopped the dolphins.

>>42578809
shame there was never any queen-led insectoid race in MLP that could have applied to

>>42578797
She started doing them around 300 years after Luna's banishment as an extremely unhealthy coping mechanism

>>42570005
>"Whatcha drinkin Anon?" Asks my stal-pal coworker.
"Uhhh, nothin"

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>Hey! Can y'all make Twilight act like a chicken again!
>"G-Geez, Applebloom, at least throw a 'please' in there.."
>'Please excuse my brash counterparts, m'lord, they mean well...I love your outfit, by the way.

i want mares to sexually assault me

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>>42580116
>You have alerted the horde

>>42580503
I knew that donkey was a dykey

>>42580700
Just because (You) haven't EARNED a sloppy, doesn't mean that the Donk doesn't enjoy a good dicking once-in-a-while.

haha guys what if you went to rgre and took advantage of being the fairer sex and had sex with fillies that would be so funny

>>42580749
but seriously we need to do something about stallion schoolteachers this is getting ridiculous

>>42580503
Oh but you still want the kissy wissy demure daddy super licky wicky don't you?

>>42580119
Run guys. I'll slow them down. Take me instead!

>>42580503
Vinyl will.

> You're Anon, eating out Applejack's sweet apple-flavoured vagina
> Applejack's brain fried crispy, babbling your name like a drunk toddler
> Then your tongue went numb
> Then your face
> Then your body
> You end up in ICU
> Ponies are poisonous
> The colors are a warning and you didn't listen

>>42581808
>monsters want to eat ponies because they want to get high

>>42546552
>Would you raise your children with RGR or NGR values?
Girls with RGR. Boys with NGR.

>>42581808
Only one way to get immunity. Repeated exposure.

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>>42581808
>ponies are poisonous, colors are a warning sign
Super Toxic Ponies, Shukaku20
https://pastebin.com/T5ZgNzL1

>>42582512
this takes me back

>herd comprised mainly of highschool bullies
>start seeing a cute nerd pone
how do I introduce her without them scaring her away?

>>42582847
Just tell your herd no sex for a month if they're mean to your new marefriend.

>>42582847
>>42583044
>nerd mare gets over her confidence issues
>doesn't quite become the herd's alpha, but she is absolutely not afraid to clit [crash? crush? looking for ballbust equivalent here] the old bullies to keep them from going too far

>>42582847
Anon, you're just asking for drama.

>>42582847
Leave the herd for the qt nerd

>>42582847
Give them "the look" after introducing her.

>>42582847
In the morning while they're all snouts-deep in their oatmeal, you walk into the kitchen holding her and playing her labia like bagpipes.

>>42582847
she's going to get off on either bullying them, or getting bullied by them, find out which it is and then enjoy.

>>42581872
Best of both worlds. Not OP, but I would do the same. It would certainly improve the future generations more than the other options

>>42583044
No way that'll work I'm mentally incapable of saying no to mean, brash mares.

>>42584598
Will your wives bully you?

>>42584653
Oh nignogs...

>>42584818
What do you think the maretriarchy is?

>>42548255
You are not worthy of the right to call yourself a man.

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>Anon is being a little slut on page 10 again

>>42584818
No, but when I see them bullying other mares I simply cannot help but find it the hottest thing ever. I have no choice but to surrender my body to the strongest mare around.

Anon shouldn't grovel before colorful ponies; he should demonstrate to them the absolute superiority of humans over animals.

Seriously, anon, where is your indestructible human spirit? Where is the thirst for superiority in your veins? Where is the hatred of non-humans in your eyes? This world is literally begging to be conquered, so why are you standing over a fucking stove frying fucking weed?!

>>42546552
How's Sunburstanon? He probably last replied in the last thread. Hopefully it was actually him.

>>42585745
I want to eat pussy, cook meals and have lots of foals

>>42585751
You could just take a fucking spear and throw it far enough to hit their sun god's huge ass and take over all of fucking Equestria. Think, anon, think!

>>42585780
I would rather have lovey dovey foal making sex with her

>>42585799
What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why are you rejecting your nature for... for... for this abomination! You should be above this! You should be one with your inner self, using your natural talent for killing to achieve great goals!

>>42585871
Nah I think I'll be a househusband instead

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>>42585884
You'll be a horsehusband if you keep this up

>>42585884
Be a man!

>>42585745
>Anon 1 spends a shitload of time and effort waging a one-man war in order to conquer pone society, his reward is to having to manage an entire fucking kingdom
>Anon 2 becomes the husbando to a loving herd, gets free snuggles and horsepussy every day in exchange for basic bitch cooking and cleaning responsibilities
Which one is the true winner?

>>42586342
Can I do that Anon 1 option with the dragon lands?

>>42586342
The first one, surprisingly. After the initial effort, mares smile and nod as he dictates from his throne. However, since they all silently agree a stallion wouldn't really know what he's doing, they take it upon themselves to make things happen smoothly in the background to humor him. Ironically it's the first time in centuries the nobility has worked together without all the backbiting and actually accomplished things for themselves; the nation is functioning even better than ever.

>>42586704
Counterpoint: He doesn't have time to garden

>>42585745
Honest answer is that I post about all of that stuff in the threads where it's the topic of conversation.
It's off-topic in this thread so I don't post about it here, out of respect for how the board is intended to work.

>>42563291
>Not putting another baby into her instead
Failure

I want a mare who's mean to everypony but me

>>42587340
Find a mare from wherever Babs Seed is from.

>>42587573

Manehatten.
Which poses the question wether moving there as a solo male would be dangerous.

>>42587809
Might get stabbed on a bus.

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>>42586704
>>42585745
We have a chance to no longer be forced to be the custodians of society taking care of literally everything. If you fuck this up for all of us and the mares realize we're more than silly inept alien househusbands I'm going to beat you to death with a shovel and feed you to the griffons.

>>42587819
No nogs in Equestria.

>>42586991
Wait, we have a thread about human superiority? Why the hell am I only learning about this now?!

>>42588070
Because you're a offboarder tourist.

>>42580961
Are there any (fem)tirek stories?
Ive seen this picture several times throughout the years and i dont recall any green coming from it

>>42587850
Imagine the faces of the poor mares when they find out that the sweet and kind monkey househusbands from romance novels are actually cruel machines of genocide against all living things.

>>42588074
Hey, I love greentext, and sometimes there are real diamonds here.

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>>42588083
>Are there any (fem)tirek stories?

>>42586629
>Anon has conquered the dragon lands
>You might ask, how could a non-magical monkey conquer the lands of enormous fire-breathing monsters?
>Well, let's just say the indomitable human spirit is certainly a good thing, but a cute face is much more effective against oversized reptiles

>>42588088
>actually cruel machines of genocide against all living things.
lol, ok kid. Can you even bench lmao1pl8?

>>42588143
Anon, even in prehistoric times, wherever humans ventured, mass extinctions of animals occurred, not to mention the fact that we're literally the cause of modern mass extinctions. And that's not cool in any fucking sense, and I'm not even green.

>>42588088
>>42588151
Misanthropy isn't a sign of intelligence or maturity. It only signifies that you're incapable of seeing the world beyond your own viewpoint and experiences. Also other animals are responsible for far more extinctions than humans are.

>>42588210
>whataboutism

>>42588615
Implying somebody is too incompetent to make a judgement about the world isn't whataboutism.

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>>42588112
>There might be (fem)tirek stories

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>>42588868

>>42587850
>"Males."
"Mares."
Love is found between the two.

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>>42588879
Well despite everything, and how odd everyone is you boys cook up some quality green.
In the mean time, i guess if i want greentexts about muscular centuar waifus i need to read and learn to write my own.
Good day then

>>42589086
I vaguely remember reading a rule 63 Tirek green but I can't seem to find it on ponepaste

>>42589099
Might be one of those one off stories that was never saved.

>>42589099
Searching "lady tirek" on desuarchive finds:
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/38945651/#39028420
I haven't read all of it, so I don't know how long it ended up. Is that what you were thinking of?

>>42588035
Zigs?

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>>42589788
Weeds.

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>>42589786
Yeah that was it. I thought it was in here but turns out it was Flutterrape.

>>42589824
Wouldn't a pony just eat them?

>>42590015
When they're small, they could, but when they get big they get all spiky.

>>42589788
An extreme minority who stay in the forest and brew pharmaceuticals.

>9
Checking on the mares and foals before bed, house nearly burnt down. Many such cases.

>>42590021
>the War of the Weeds has been straining Equestria for three years now
>until the fateful day Anon invented the flamethrower