Who has the best drugs in Ponyville?
>>42607152>Who has the best drugs in Ponyville?Zecora or Coco Pommel when they come visit.
>>42607152
>>42607152Stop it
>>42607152Best in what way?>Granny SmithKnows more old timey apple-themed tricks than she lets on. Most of them are about differently altered states of mind, but that thing with a yoyo and a zap apple was real too.>RedheartTechnically has drugs. Will lecture you instead, but maybe that's what you really needed.>TwilightIs the only pony in town with enough equipment and education to cook. Never tried it because she believes she's prone to addiction.>Bon BonA witness of a war that was magically retconned. It's everybody's guess if her addictions or the way she questions reality whenever she's sober will kill her first.>that one shady changeling under the bridgeFree hugs!
>>42607152Pinkie
>"That's why-see-see- I am the MASTER. MIND." Twilight heaves big, heavy breaths in and out, methamphetamines coursing through her body like satanic ichor. >"That's what they don't realize! That's what NONE of them realize. I am the mastermind, I am the pony who makes EEEEEEVERYTHING work. I am the only PONY...." She throws her hooves up wildly in the air, pointing at nothing, but she believes herself to be pointing at everything. >"I AM THE ONLY PONY WHO KNOWS WHATS ALLLLLL HAPPENING!" >Spike trembles in his seat as he watches Twilight rant and rave. It's been maybe a month, maybe two, but it didn't take the little dragon long to figure out why his adoptive mother was behaving the way she was. After all, she was the one who taught him back in canterlot. >Drugs are bad, mmmkay?>"And...uh...what's...what's happening, Twilight?">Spike cringes, he knew he shouldn't have asked that. The little purple unicorn stomps over to him in a hurry, making a multitutde of short, hyper-exaggerated facial expressions, before landing on a half-angry and half-terrified, wide eyed stare, her ears put far behind her head. >"CENTAURS! BIG, BIG EVIL CENTAURS! COMING TO STEAL OUR MAGIC! ooohhh they don't tell you that but the CREATURES are all out to get us. The biggest and baddest of them, see, he wants ALL our PONY. MAGIC. That's why...that's why they had to make me an alicorn! Why i drank the milk! The special mare milk!">"Twilight I don't understand what you're talking about," Spike blubbers, tears of confusion rolling down his cheeks, "you're not an alicorn!" >"WINGS!" Twilight shrieks. >"I got-I HAVE MY WINGS! WINGS! WIIIIIINGS!!!!" She points at the toilet paper rolls duct-taped to her back. >Be the real star of the story now. >Pinkie Pie. >You're hopped up on just about every known substance to pony kind, and a few unknown ones as well. Weeeheehehehe...>You giggle, looking at a hallucination of a small gnome waving at you from the distance, before he takes his little pecker out and begins beating his mushroom like a maniac.Heeyyyyyyyy, that's not very polite y'know!>He performs a rude gesture, continuing to do his thing, grunting like a warthog. >You sigh, shaking your head. >Truth be told you find it funny, you find alotta things funny....you're a nihilist! You don't really care about anything, just what feels good and makes your FRIENDS...>Friends?>You pause, turning from the fading hallucination and looking up into the air of your little shack. >This comes with a harsh knock on the door, which nearly causes you to jump right out of your hide, screeching like a retarded weasel.
>>42607202>"Open up!">"Ponice!"WAAAGH!>You giggle quietly after the scream, deftly grabbing a knife off a counter, kicking your door open. >"Whuh!" Screams a blue pegasus at the door of your home. She is almost IMPOSSIBLY thin, fur thinning, her mane greasy and her eyes bruised terribly. Her wings flutter sporadically, but the terror of the situation makes her fall backwards. >"P-Pinkie! It's...it's me dude! You don't need to like, you don't need to freak out!">You step a little closer, knife clutched in your mouth, your ice-blue eyes looking down at her. >"I'M NOT A PONICE," she cries, backing up further, but a withdrawal is coming on to her and it makes it hard to move, "I'm not...I was just...just joking!"How do I know you're tellim th' truff? >"Pinkie, we're best friends, of course I am! Please don't do this- I'm..I'm...">You give up the ghostie on this and start giggling at it, dropping the knife on the ground, never to take it back up again. You're my very bestest customer!>Dash's pupils slowly expand from pin prick to normal, her head tilting slightly in confusion. >"Huh?"I pranked' Ya back, silly billy! Duhhhhh! Sheesh DASHIE, for the fastest mare in all of ponyville you're being kinda slow today!>"I...I am not! AND I totally knew it was just a prank," she scoffs, getting herself up off the ground, wobbling slightly, "but you got one thing right, I am the fastest mare in Ponyville...with the help of my best friend." She smiles at you. >You shrug, returning a more delicate smile.
>>42607230>"So, uh, about me being the fastest and...and you helping me out...see I've got a show soon and...and I'm kinda...">You gasp. Dashie, are you telling me you're all out of my goodie-goodies already? >"Hey, it's not easy being a wonderbolt! I...they have me train alot..">You shake your head, ticking your tongue in mock dissapointment, nuzzling your head against hers you nip at her neck and walk her into your shack of a home. Dashie, Dashie, Dashie....it's a good thing your ol' Aunt Pinkie Pie is alwaaaays here for you! >The two of you spend some time in your drug shack together, laughing and talking about all sorts of things. You like when Dashie comes by, she has a way of opening up your heart and getting the two of you to have fun together. By the time she finally leaves, she's spent nearly her entire wonderbolts stipend all on cocaine you sell to her. >When it's time for her to leave, you give her a bro-hoof, staying back by your entry way you see her trot a few feet ahead, then soar up into the sky like a blue butterfly. >Your heart beats a little slower, the corners of your mouth pull down and a tear rolls down your face. >It's never easy when your bestest customer in the whole widest world of Equestria leaves.>Your melancholy is cut short by a little green alligator nipping at your ankle.EEP! Gummy! Are you real? ARE YOU REAL?>You jump back, turning to him and staring him down, he looks back up through you, holding his mouth open before closing it. You are! ....I SAID NOOO BITING!>The reptile opens his mouth...then closes it again. NO BITING NO BITING NO BITING!>All your troubles are forgotten as you scold your alligator.
>>42607152Go to Manehattan and find Pacific Glow's dealer
>>42607254>Some months later, you are Fluttershy. >Incredibly stoned. >You wander through your empty house, just sort of looking at how vacant it is, taking in the smell. >Or lack of smell, you guess. >You used to have animals a long time ago. >But when you started getting high, you just got so...tired. All the time, like the motivation to do anything at all was sucked right out of your bones. >You had a vulture once that used to suck bone marrow out. >But he isn't here anymore. >No more animals, no more smell. >No more little friends. >You gave them all away, sold some of them, just....couldn't handle taking care of them all anymore. Too tired, cut too much into your time for smoking too, which only made you more tired. >This way, it's a win win for you. >You can get high every day, all day, and sleep whenever you need to. >Oh and the animals are fine too. >Maybe.>You hope.>Anxiety starts building on you as you look over all the places and spaces you used to have your little animal friends come and stay with you in. Was something wrong here? Was something, somehow, terribly wrong? Were..>A knock on the door catches you from this train of paranoia to another one. >That had to be the ponice, you reason to yourself, they must have finally smelled the copius amount of marijuana from your cottage that's a few hundred miles outside city limits. >They're here to arrest you, arent they? You're gonna go to jail and get RAPED. Raped by big, oily rape monsters, with gooseflesh. >You whimper, curling up on yourself, trying to vanish, but another knock thuds dull at the door. >No no no...no..you should be fine, everything should be fine. You're a smart little pony, if you play it cool they'll never know, right? Just...be cool. >You get up, trot to your front door. >Be. Cool. Fluttershy. >Open it. HIGH, OFFICER I AM NOT. NORMAL. >Sweat profusely and close your eyes. >"That's a shaaame, maaannn..."
>>42607279>You open your eyes, greeted with the sight of a good friend of yours. Tree hugger? Oh my goodness, I thought...>"I thought you were weed," Tree Hugger smiles gently, shaking her head in disagreement, "you're sobe...uh...sober? You are...BEING ...sober?" >She giggles. No..But..oh, I suppose I must be coming down a bit, I think...what was I doing..? I think I was getting up to get some more um...drugs..>"Far out, that's why I'm here too!" >"Drugs." >She smiles, blinking her bloodshot eyes one at a time. >"Your chakras are all out of alignment, lets go get totally ruined....together.">You giggle, welcoming her inside. >It's not unusual for Treehugger to come by to get high with you, it's actually really pleasant, truth be told. Makes you feel less lonely, and she helps keep you right where you're supposed to be. >In an hour, you've smoked enough marijuana to kill Celestia, coughing and hacking as you take your mouth away from the bong, your mouth feels so impossibly dry that you swear you're chokng.>But that's when your good friend comes right to your side, tossing a thermos of water to you, which you drink greedily. Oouuhhoohohohooooh....>You lean back, water dripping down your muzzle before you wipe it off on your couch. >"See, it's all about that, like, you know? The way it is?"Oh yes, absolutely...>You've already forgotten what you're talking about, but you can't let her know that. >"Holy Celestia, Pinkie really does grow the best weed in all Equestria.">She giggles wildly, the effects of fourty eight brownies and eighteen bong hits will be catching up to her soon. Grogar is gonna come out through her knee caps. What?>"What?"Uh...>You cough, taking another sip of water, the sunlight in the room makes it seem as if, in it's orange glow, time was standing still forever.>Around this time, you would have been cuddling up with an animal friend, or bathing one, or giving a sick one medicine, but you don't need to worry about that anymore. I don't remember. >What?Huh?>"Dude you're tripping hard."Am I alone..?>"Not with your friend Treehugger around, have another brownie, it's all far out now, you know?">You do.
>>42607257Why does have a pacifier?
>>42607340certain drugs cause lock jaw and it helps mitigate teeth grinding although magnesium will help with that so it became more of a rave symbol over time
>>42607152using or selling? Using, probably Treehugger.Selling would be Trixie
>>42607306Go on...
>>42607152You need Jesus Christ
>>42607340Because this bitch knows how to party
>>42607152My personal headcanon? Probably Zecora. She probably knows the recipes for the drugs used by the shamans back in her homeland that they use to go to the underworld and fight demons for secret knowledge and powers.
>>42607474That some new kind of drug?
>>42607592Are you trans?
>>42607600Hell fucking no
>>42607340For when the molly kicks in
>>42607507I wonder what kind of drugs she can prepare with the poison joke.
>>42607600Am I going insane why is everybody saying trannies hide on this board?
