Undead EditionPrevious Edition: >>42596447Fauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives:https://ponepaste.org/1046Have a broken Pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.inRemember:not to save anything of value on Pastebinignore all attempts at early new threadsThread question: Have you sworn alliance to the skelepone army yet?
Your mares must be starving if none of you can make some simple bread Anons. For shame
>>42648614No. I have sworn alliance to the ghostpone army instead
>>42648614bad time to start a thread when 90% of the board is watching Anni desu
>>42648614>Nurgling pony
>>42648969Best time, actually
>>42649025>Maretarion
>>42648634I made some bread just today for dinner, to eat with my butternut squash soup.
Which one of the mane 6 would be the most mysandrist in RGREquestria? I don't think it would be Applejack since she has a pretty nice brother and no doubt she would be fending off all sorts of mares for his safety. In that vein Fluttershy may actually have a good chance at being a mysandrist thanks to Zephyr Breeze but what are your thoughts anons?
>>42648634Fuck you. I purposefully make my bread hard as a rock so my mares can use it as ammunition for their slings. It is NOT because I haven't gone to any of Caramel's weekly househusbandry classes.
>>42648614Continuation of https://ponepaste.org/10819>It's only when you have your hoof on the doorknob that you realize the severity of your situation>It's locked>You don't remember him locking it>Or ever unlocking it, for that matter>Does Sunburst always lock the door when he's home?>Why?>As the question rattles around your skull, you work your way along the other side of the house>The rest of the house's windows are too high>Except...this one>Dark green ceiling>Your bedroom, must be>You walk your hooves up the wall again>Just like before, the window gives way and you tumble through, landing on your hooves this time>The window clicks shut behind you>Nice>Maybe that'll come in handy again>As you near your bedroom door, you hear Sunburst's muffled voice>"Anonymous? Are you alright?">Shit>You gently nudge open your door with your snout and peek out into the hall>Sunburst is beside the restroom door, his back to you>"You didn't fall in again, did you?">Again?>You open the door fully, and Sunburst's ears perk up at the squeaking of the hinge>He turns his head and lets out an "Oh!" at seeing you>"Goodness, there you are.">Sunburst furrows his brow as he takes a better look at you>"Are you alright? Why is your mane such a mess?">Sunburst's horn lights up, and you watch a few twigs and leaves levitate out of your hair>Right, hair>You open your mouth and let the tuft you'd found drool onto the floor"Look! I found thi-eugh...Eckh!">There's a hair on your tongue!>You swipe at your tongue to try to take it off>That's not working>Goddammit, how do horses deal with this shit?>Magic?>Probably>You look up at Sunburst again, your tongue still hanging out of your mouth>Sunburst's face is wrinkled up in concern, his snout scrunched>"Anonymous, were you outside just now?">You nod>You gesture at your tongue with a hoof>He stares at you oddly for a brief moment before his horn lights up again>"Anonymous,">Sunburst starts gently as you feel a tingle on your tongue >"I think we need to put a ground rule in place.""Rules? But, Sunburst, look-">"Ah! Well, not a, eh, 'rule' per se. Let's say it's...a Pinkie Promise!">Sunburst smiles down at you>You raise your front hooves and ponder them for a moment
>>42649987"We don't have pinkies...">"Oh, Pinkie doesn't need to actually be here to do a, um...">Sunburst's mind catches up with his mouth>"...Do you know Pinkie?">Odd phrasing"Yeah?">You eye him suspiciously"Do you?">"I...I'm not so sure anymore.">Sunburst eyes you with that worried look he seems to get every time you two have these little back and forths>"We'll just call it a promise, mkay?" >His voice is a little softer now>You shrug>Sunburst gives a nod, "Good.">"I need you to promise me that you won't go anywhere where I can't see you. Promise?""Even the bathroom?">Sunburst scrunches>"Within reason.""Mkay.">"And I promise not to go anywhere where you can't see me.""Within reason?">"Within reason." He smiles"Okay. Cool, whatever. Now could you please-">The hair's gone black>And your spit's gone purple>"I hope that's not from my cooking."more soon
>>42649991HE LIVES!Speaking of which, AladdinAnon also lives. Seemingly still rangedbanned from 4chan.https://nhnb.org/fim/res/24053.html#30508
>>42649991Awesome to see you're back, Sunburstanon! Great as usual and i'm looking forward to more.
>>42649991>The hair's gone black>And your spit's gone purpleThe stalker is an imposter!I can't think of anypony who has black hair.
>>42649987>>42649991Holy dicks, you're alive. Also Sunburst is the Mr. Magoo of child care.>>42650027That's annoying as hell. The stupid part is it's not like ranges are monolithic, their coverage shifts around over time and I guarantee you whoever they were targeting is long gone into a different range.
>>42651439The stupid thing is that tranny mods don't give a single fuck.
welcome back rgre
>>42651506of course they don't give a fuck, hiro was known for screwing over 2chan for money and it's no different he does it here as well
>>42649991The single father returns!
bump
>>42648634What led you to believe that I care?
>>42652428>most empathetic stallion
>>42651523>2chanilliterate faggot award
>>42652442says the public urinal that stallions and mares piss onto, same fucking thing you 'tard.
>>42652447>same fucking thing>2chan is still a thing >2ch is dead
Where have you faggots gone to?I know you don't have a special somepony at home.
>>42648614Damn, have we already run out of images of dommy mommy mares?
>>42649530Depends on the type of misandry, Rainbow Dash would probably lean more towards objectification of stallions, while someone like Twilight would probably secretly be the biggest misandrist due to her intelligence, but not really apply it in practice much
>>42652699Have you seen Shining Armor? Twilight wouldn't be all that impressed with stallions.Dash only cares about one thing, Wonderbolts. Doesn't matter who they are, if they're Wonderbolt they get her admiration.
how does anon-alicorn fare in rgre?
>>42652901Fuck off.
>>42652943>POV: You are Anon after Celestia told Luna that stallions like eye contact
>>42652922You can go back to the board you came from, offboarder.
>>42652901hated by all the mares for being patriarchal and emaresculating all the fillies
>>42652966I would date Luna for the sake of convincing her to take a bath. Wish me luck in surviving her marestink
>>42652699>Rampantly misandrist Twi x rampantly misogynist Anon.>Each treats another as 'one of the good ones'>That moment when they both realize their hate is predicated on a certain precisely matching set of behaviors...>2 months later, an earth-shattering scientific paper is released, "The Inevitable Dead-Weight Gender, a dimension-invariant conjuncture on fairer sex">After that, during their public outings Anon has to punt away angry stallions trying to start shit with his soon-to-be horsewife.>>42652943Would gently boop (consensually)
>>42652699Surprisingly there seems to be little in the way of Donny Mommy Zombie Mares. Just another failure of our society
>>42652988You'll be drowned in that moon cheese smell.
>>42652901Well we know Big Mac wanted to be one.
>>42652943Imagine if there was a Princess of Snoofa.
>>42652901He fucks off to some back water hick village to avoid royal duties that would be forced upon him by the two space horse femcels
>>42652901Anon we be used as a diplomatic bargaining chip. As that is the only thing an alicorn stallion is useful for. Look even his cutie mark doesn’t know what his purpose is.
>>42653002i need this green RIGHT FUCKING NOOWWWWW
>>42655862Indeed.>The Prince of ??????Statements dreamt up by the utterly deranged.
>>42652901Only mares can be alicorns. Maybe Anonicorn is a falsehood. Fake wings, or a fake horn, or both. To keep the status of his mother, the princess, intact. Surely, a mare capable of birthing a male alicorn is a princess of princesses.
>>42656008Anonicorn is a bio-magical construct implanted with a soul plucked from the line before the gates of judgement and sustained entirely off the background magic in Equestria. Who created him and why isn't quite clear. What is clear is that such an unnatural being was never given the chance to develop his own magical field while he grew in the womb.Anonicorn is less magically potent than even a newborn earth pony foal. He cannot fly, nor cast, nor even hold objects with the flat of his hoof. Not until Harmony can cultivate an adequate field inside a body already grown.
>>42656148Anonicorn should be married off in a political marriage. So that he can’t have any say in government. Having a stallion in power won’t help anypony. After all the only place stallions belong is in the kitchen and in bed.
>>42656181What about Shining Armor?
>>42656181Some of the mares' ideas are questionable, at best.
Is it compalsory for a rgre story to have imbalanced gender ratio or the setting is enough? I am working on a story.
>>42655746I miss hawaiian anon>>42657218the ratio serves as a reason for the gender roles being inverted and the existence of herds imobut if your story doesn't need it and is still rgre to be in the thread i personally am okay with it
>>42657218Like >>42657297 said, it's not a strict requirement, but it's the usual excuse for males being the valuable/protected/pampered sex, instead of the disposable one.
>>42655887Okay.>Be Anon>Your hate for women is so far beyond this material plane that it can be seen from the orbit.>Of a neighboring star system.>Your mere presence generates a Karen-exclusion zone five miles in radius.>Kazakhstan sends you pre-approved honorary citizenship papers biweekly.>Be stuck innaquestria.>Currently explaining the ACTUAL percentages of misidentified cases of SIDS to Twiggy over a tea spiked with Appul's moonshine.>She looks horrified.>"That's disgusting! I genuinely have no idea how any mare can do something like that.">You raise your cup,"That's why you gals are good in my book.">You throw the cup back."I'm not even talking about the basic stuff like...">Be Twilight fatherbuckin' Sparkle.>From the moment you understood the insidiousness of the fairer sex, it disgusted you.>Once you have grasped the field of statistics, this disgust became white-hot.>The trust lent to colts by default was majorly misplaced, and, what's worse, nopony wanted to talk about it.>Well there were some colt exceptions, like Anon, who was plenty responsible, but than again, he was an alien.>"...and thus, the political apprehension of slut shaming continues to promote promiscuity, which has created a generation of whores who are looking to settle now that they've gone barren and lost their looks...">Your brain lights up like a fireworks show."Anon, what would happen if they... wouldn't lose their looks and fertility?">That question has Anon rubbing his chin.>"I guess some would never settle, but then the dating market would get more crowded, hmmm...">He kicked back and started gazing upon the ceiling in thought.>"Well, birthing still gets worse with age...""But what if that wasn't an issue?">"My guess is that most would fool around for much longer until finally settling for the best option they have. And still would cheat on the regular. What, is this a regular occurrence here?">Your jaw hits the floor.>He may just be the one for you."Say, Anon, would you like to participate in some... science?"
>>42657736>Two months later.>To say that the paper had caused an uproar would be an understatement of the millennium.>"The Inevitable Dead-Weight Gender, a dimension-invariant conjuncture on fairer sex" by T.Sparkle, A.E.Mous, et al has hit like a meteor.>Every single colt in education had seemingly lost sanity overnight.>On the other hoof, you've received entire heaps of letters from mares in education lauding you for challenging the status quo and lending you their full support, and so nothing thrown at you by colts could stick.>Meanwhile, the scandalous paper has reached The Royal Sisters, and now there are talks of Equestria reverting stallions' collective status back to property. Outside of those who could prove their worthiness of rights via a special exam, of course.>More than once, you and your husband-to-be would get attacked by crazed stallionists, but much to your surprise, he happily jumped into the fray, throwing around stallions like ragdolls.>Catfight of this caliber has never failed to gather some hooting and hollering from the onlooker mares, which only got louder once they'd realize a stallionist was involved.>More than once he'd pick up offending colts by the scruff and simply shake them, loudly asking them where their herd is or who pays for their food or how many mares they'd go through this month.>Receiving an unsatisfactory answer would usually mean that said screeching colt would get launched across the street by Anon's astoundingly long legs.>Unf.
>>42657741low quality slop.
>>42657741high quality slop
>>42657741based quality kek
>>42657736>>Currently explaining the ACTUAL percentages of misidentified cases of SIDS to Twiggy over a tea spiked with Appul's moonshine.what a fucking refference, been ages since i remembered this
>>42657736>>42657741Thank you anon i thoroughly enjoyed thisyou should really write more often!
>>42649298>butternut?
>>42657741Champion of the maresses.
>>42649298I'd eat Butternut's squash soup.
>>42658195Butternut? I'd rut.
>>42656322Shining armor is clearly a dei hire because of horny pink princess. He wasn’t qualified to be a captain of the guard. I bet if it was a mare in charge the changling invasion would not have happened.
Would Minty from G3 be considered a pervert in RGREquestria or would her sock collecting hobby pass off as an autistic hyperfixation?
>>42659094unmarely and shameful
>>42659094Derpy's personality seems to be partly based off Minty, so probably autism.
>>42659612>Minty is completely oblivious to the fact that socks are the pony equivalent of lingerie>She likes to collect and wear them all the time>Always shows them off to her friends>None of them have the heart to tell her (Or are secretly into it)>Minty doesn't understand why everypony gives her weird looks
>>42659094She's probably be seen as a crossdresser, which isn't necessarily a bad thing
>>42659094>G4 hippies hold up G3 Minty as an icon of free love
>>42659945Anon also wears socks, he must be more autistic than her.
what about if twilight became increasingly aware of stallion inferiority and wrestled with denial about it and faith in an egalitarianism that could never be?
>>42662573That alicorn ego needs to be kept in check.
>>42661516>Anon also wears socksAnd hides them under long pants. He's a total pervert.
>>42659094>"Whee!">"Miss, PLEASE, for the love of Celestia, you're in public!"Not bad, that one matches the umbrella you bought a couple weeks ago. Isn't it hard to talk with it over your nose though?>You are Anon, and today is clothes shopping day.>It's not something you attach much fanfare to, even in a horse universe where getting things off the rack isn't usually an option.>Socks are on today's menu. You wouldn't have thought hooves getting cold would be enough of an issue for ponies to have invented them, but it does make things a bit more convenient for you.>Your task is simple enough, just some pairs of blacks and whites.>"Hehehe! Look Anon, I'm a pegsus!">A passing mare goes wide-eyed, shields the eyes of her foal, and rapidly leaves the area.How did you even get those on there?>You also happen to be here this morning with your friend Minty.>Most ponies didn't seem to care much about clothing outside of formal pieces, but for whatever reason she liked to collect socks.>Currently she'd managed to get one on each ear, which she was flapping as hard as she could to look sort of like wings in flight.>"By the stars, I'm going to lose my job!">A very frazzled teenage colt was staffing the sockolatier you frequented. You could almost swear bits of his mane were falling out.>Today's was a mundane task, but you'd welcomed the company when you set out.>Minty, for her part, had begun vibrating when she saw the new line of fruit-themed footwear was in.>Snatching one sock each from several pairs, she quickly had a different one on each leg. The help was less than enthusiastic, and rapidly went from embarrassed to panicked as things progressed.Remember, the customer is always right!>Flash him a bit of the Winning Smile, that'll put his head in the right place.>Or at least it will when he stops weeping.>Having made your selections, you paid and waved goodbye to the young stallion, Minty in tow with her own bag of socks perched on her back. She's still wearing the singles on each hoof.>"Thanks for always letting me come like this Anon, they don't even call the ponice if you're with me."No problem Minty. What's the haul today?>"Well! I've got lime, cherry, watermelon, and a blueberry pattern set. I almost got the grape ones too, but I like purple grapes more than green ones, and I already had the lime socks for that color.">She skipped the ones with the peppermint theme; you suppose there's no accounting for secondary meanings of cutie marks.>"BUT! That's not the best part! Check out these bad boys!">Snout-deep in the sack, she pulls back and reveals a pair with a hotdog image stitched into them, running the length of the sock.>"Thees r rre! Mst pnes dont do mt dsigns!">She beams at you while mumbling this through the clothing, and with a giggle begins tossing them all around with her head.>Several ponies nearby choke out whinnies of shock and faint on the spot.>Yes, this was a pleasantly fun morning.
>>42663596Fuck off.
>>42663596Fuck on.
>>42663596Cute! Already setting a good tone for today's work day, which I appreciate very much Anon.
>>42662573>Twilight gets inducted into the Alicorn Conspiracy, as Celestia, Luna, and Cadance look at her knowingly.
>>42663596Anon casually trolling with a friend.
>>42663596Lovely green. Glad you wrote it anon!
I just want a good looking garden, but you ponies keep eating all my flowers!
>>42665585You didn't read the third volume of A Househusband's Guide, did you? There are explicit instructions on how to differentiate flowers used for decoration from flowers freely available to snack on.
>>42665616Shut up, Caramel, I know how to plant a goddamn flower garden.
>>42665758I think you should stop focusing on you garden and get back into the kitchen before your herd gets home. Also stop walking around with those socks you whorse.
>>42663596Minty is cuteI'd eat her out
>>42665809At least I have a herd, faggot
I didn't want a herd. I just wanted a garden. Now I lost my garden and these mares are asking when's the next meal.
>not in rgre>no mares taking care of me>have to get a job and workwish me luck frens, interview day tomorrow
>>42666023You fucked up anon, your best course of action right now is starting a herd with gardener mares that would at least help you replant your lost flowers
>>42666023Being a simple hobbit would be a nightmare in RGRE.
>>42666644Your mare is looking for you.
>>42666023>ponies standing in your garden, looking at you innocently or simply kicking at the ground a bit and whistling>you turn your back for two seconds, hear instant shuffling>whipping back around, the ponies seemingly haven't moved>however your rose bush has been denuded, and the sprigs of green heralding your parsley have vanished
>>42668169They get the broom.
Lesbians are a source of cheap, low-hanging fruit humor for ponies just like fags for humans.
>>42668881I'd imagine mares would call each others dykes all the time, same as guys trash talking each other, but calling a stallion a faggot would be a very serious insult/accusation.
>>42663596ignorant Minty and ignorant Anon make a cute pair
>>42669343She's from another time.And he's from another planet.
>>42669105What if a colt calls a mare a faggot?
>>42669410She’ll suck his dick to prove him wrong.
>>42668169
>>42666023Wasn't there a greentext about it?I just remember the part where a mare and an anon talk about it when he is setting up an electric fence, because he is so fucking done with these horses bs.It was something like:>You are being unreasonable anon, you can't just grow all this delicious flowers just to stare at them.My flowers, I decide what I do with them, you are welcome to come and appreciate them too.>You know there are foals in Saddle Arabia that don't have any roses to eat right?Let them come, I'll let them watch too.
>>42670615The part about foals having no roses is because there is no species of rose native to the lands of Saddle Arabia. They have plenty of other plants to eat.
>>42669343Minty seems like she would accidentally rape Anon but neither of them would realize what's happening
>>42670615That does sound familiar.
>>42670615I remember one with an electric fence where ponies kept chewing on his fence, and so he electrified it. Dash got hit with it, and found it so funny she invited a bunch more mares to chew on his fence and get them shocked.
>>42671170>Limey+SpitfireAny other mares to add for stressmaxxing?
>>42671216Fluer. Just so we can have a bone head.
