>>42709546
Pony TF is the greatest form of therapy.

>>42709950
I don't know, being buried in and petting a whole bunch of newly made ponies is going to be a very therapeutic experience for every- pony -ONE!, going off how puppies felt. Shit's cash, bruv

If you were reborn in Equestria as a foal and retained your memories, would you tell the truth to your cute pony parents or would you hide it? And if you decided to hide the truth, how would you do so without being weird or suspicious?

>>42711010
>"Mom, Dad. I have something important to tell you."

>"Oh Celestia no...tell me you're not gay."

>"What? No. I still like mares. But that's besides the point. I'm actually a human guy. My name is Anon E. Mous. I come from a realm called Earth which is much less friendly than Equestria."

>"Oh, it's just a chuuni phase...phew...."
>"...What was that about mares?"

>"Nevermind."

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>>42710986

>>42711010
>would you tell the truth t-
i would take that shit to my grave
you would have to be insane to do anything that could potentially ruin your new pony life

>>42710499
If you think it's good for humans, it's even better for the ponies.

>>42711010
Fuck it. I will tell them.

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>>42711010
I'd write it in the slip cover of a book in the library.

>>42711010
I'd tell them when they finally have to face me one on one in my castle of villany

>>42711010
I won't tell, but I won't actively hide it. "I just know things" is a perfect explanation at all times.

>>42712218
same

>>42709794
Trixie's best magic trick ends with her turning you into a pony and calling you a faggot.

>>42712218
Applejack can tell you're hiding something.

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>>42712218
>>42716322
>"What's eating her?"
>The pegasus nodded in the direction of her earth pony counterpart, who was cautiously eyeballing a certain filly from across the square.
>A pink blur chimed in from the next page, reaching across the shared table to whisper in her friend's ear.
>"She's been like that allll morning. It's kinda creepy."
>Rainbow Dash simply raised an eyebrow at the shifty display from the middle child of the Apple family.
>Trotting along like any pony would, the emerald filly Applejack tracked to the Herbal Honours stall picked up a couple samples, paid and then set off toward the ironmongers.
>Nothing too unordinary for a pony of that age.
>If they were an apprentice.
>"Should I call the guard? Or like, a specialist?"
>Pinkie giggled.
>"Nah! Unless you wanna throw a veteran's party. Just go ask her what's up. I'm sure she has a good reason for stalking a kid out of the blue. Ooh! Maybe she's a changeling infiltrator and replaced the real Applejack! Or maybe the filly's the infiltrator and she's here to spy on us or maybe they're both changelings!"
>*POMF!*
>Blue hoof found its target, covering Pinkie's mouth to suppress the ramblings barrelling out of the energetic mare.
>"I get it! I'll go talk to her."
>And with that, she was off to investigate.
>Leaving her pink partner to ponder proceedings precariously by herself.

>>42715432
cute

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Become pony so you can use magic. Go to pony witch school.

>>42708658
Hi fellow ESLs. Do you know ponies speak in english in Equestria, right? How good is your spoken english? Ponies will want to know why you have a weird accent.

>>42717927
C2ish by European framework with some slight imperfections in pronounciation because my native language doesn't have half the sounds in English so I barely/don't hear the difference between them. Though I would say it's like solid 90% British so you could probably chalk it up as a weird British accent. It would probably improve after some time around native speakers.

>>42711164
It's not a phase!

>>42717902
I want to go to pony witch school so I can meet Pony Akko.

>>42712218
Mostly
Though if I really feel the need to talk about my past, maybe I'd end up writing a book with stories of the human world. The ponies don't need to know that this is an actual place, they can just treat it as some fictional stories.

>>42714198
Why do you have a castle of villainy, Anon?

>>42719425
One of the best parts of living in equestria is the real estate and construction prices. Who doesn't have a castle of villainy hidden away somewhere for when you might need it?

>>42716322
Pinkie would have you clocked before she even meets you, but she's also the kind of mare to keep that secret as an inside thought until the moment it's blurted out in a tangentially related conversation

>>42716754
Applejack: Human Hunter

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>>42643460
Better version

This Is Going to End in Disaster
The small bedroom was lit up in brilliant yellows by the mid-afternoon sun, but its current occupant wasn’t looking out the window. Right now, Jacob Moore was certain that if some form of magic spells existed it would be somewhere on the Internet. All of the results so far were fake. He had burned through a few sticks of chalk drawing functionless rune circles, and no magic word had any effect.
After days of searching he finally threw his hands in the air and sighed. “This is useless. I shouldn’t believe in this crap.” But some part of his mind kept begging him to look, because it had to be somewhere. He had nothing else to do anyways, even though it was a Friday night. All his friends were out doing other things, his car was out of gas, and his parents were gone for the weekend. So he kept looking, at least for a little while.
After some time, he stumbled upon a new kind of spell. The website listed the steps to create a rune circle for transformations. None of the previous results had been related to transformation, and Jacob didn’t see any use for turning people into things. The spell only listed a way to turn a person into something. He didn’t want to try it, because he’d need a human subject. All this was just proof to himself that magic existed, and he didn’t think anybody would be willing to try it. He was also wary about using himself as a test subject. The instructions told him that only an experienced magic user should transform themselves, and he was as far from experienced as anyone can get. But, then again, this might be the only spell that would work.
As he was deciding whether to try it, his phone rang. He checked the Caller ID and his friend, Ryan, was on the other end.
He answered the phone. “Ryan, what’s up?”
“Nothing much. I just was wondering what you were doing. You told me you didn’t have any plans, right?” Ryan responded.
“Not at the moment, no. I’m just looking for a spell.”
“A spell? Still? You’ve been going on about this every day in class for a week.”
He sighed. “That’s why I’m still looking. I’m trying to find one, and I think I just did.”
“What kind of spell is it this time?”
“It’s a transformation spell. The problem is that I need a subject.”
Ryan deadpanned, even though he was alone in his room across town. “And you want me to be your guinea pig for some stupid, fake spell you found.”
“See, that’s my problem.” Jacob said. “I don’t want to force this on anyone, and it says not to use it on myself.”
“Not that it matters, but I’m not doing it. Magic isn’t real.”
Jacob sighed. “I figured you’d say that. But I need to know, and this might be the only one that works. I know it’s asking a lot, and I don’t know what could go wrong, but I hope you trust me.”
Ryan paused. “You know what? Who cares. I’ll do it.”
“You’re kidding.”

>>42722033
“Nope. Magic doesn’t exist, so you can turn me into anything you want. Make me a mouse or a fly or whatever, I don’t care.” He paused again. “You know what, turn me into a pony.”
“A pony?”
“Yep. A cute widdle mare, like on the kid’s show.”
“My Little Pony? The show your sister watches?”
“That’s the one. If magic exists, then I’ll go downstairs and let my little sister braid my tail and ride me around the backyard.”
“I thought you hated that show.”
“I do. But this won’t work.”
“Are you sure? I’m pretty confident about this one.”
“Just like the last spells you’ve tried?” Ryan shot back. Jacob didn’t say anything. “Jake, I know you. I know you’re gullible as hell, I know you still believe in magic, and I know this isn’t the first one you’ve tried. So do your best. Make me a pretty little mare.”
“Why a mare?”
“Because I know this won’t work! You’ll call me telling me it didn’t do anything, and you’ll try again, and eventually you will come to your senses and we’ll all have a good laugh about how you seriously thought you were going to turn me into a pony.”
“Ryan, I’m not going to try to reason with you. If you want me to turn you into a pony, then so be it.” Jacob hung up the phone. He knew that the only reason why Ryan wanted him to use this spell to turn him into a mare– A mare, of all things! –was because he was a skeptic, but he did it anyways. He took his laptop down two flights of stairs to the basement, closed the door, and began drawing on a clean patch of concrete. His hand was steady, and the lines were clean. The instructions showed the various symbols for different aspects of transformation, and if he pieced a few of them together, he could fulfill Ryan’s wish. He could have done something else, but throughout the whole call he was grinding his teeth. If Ryan was going to make an outrageous request so he could have a good laugh, then so be it. Finally, after upwards of two hours of work, the circle was completed. The chalk glowed a vivid green and the symbols seemed to dance around the floor. He tentatively kneeled down and put a hand on the outermost ring of chalk.

>>42722037
At first nothing happened.
Then a shockwave of pure energy shot out from the circle. The runes glowed bright green as they activated. Jacob was knocked back into the wall, and sank to the ground. He saw the energy, instead of billowing out like dry ice, thrash within its limits. It crackled like a power line and, after several dangerous seconds, exploded, coating the whole room in glowing dust that glittered in the air. Jacob doubled over coughing and his hair fell into his face. He looked up at it, remembering his short hair, but then he felt something twitch at the top of his head. Jacob reached up slowly and made contact with a fuzzy object. His eyes dilated as he felt his new ears.
He suddenly slipped and fell. When he looked back at his feet he saw his shoes fall off, leaving drooping socks. He bent down and pulled them off, exposing two tan hooves. He panicked and backed up against the wall as he felt thousands of tiny pinpricks as fur travelled up his leg. Jacob threw off the rest of his clothes and saw that his entire lower half wasn't human anymore. He watched as fur swept up his stomach and chest, spreading down his arms as his hands curled together and hardened, now equine hooves. Then, pain racked his head as a horn pushed out from his head. He screamed in shock and pain, finally slumping over and passing out.

>>42722040
“Jake! Jake, wake up!”
Jacob slowly opened his eyes. He was lying on the concrete floor in the basement, in the same position as before. Light still flooded the room, but this light was artificial. ‘How long have I been out for?’ he thought.
Suddenly, another pony obscured his vision. Her jawline was rounded, so Jacob assumed she was a mare. She had an off-white coat, with light blue eyes and a pastel pink mane. Most of all, she was pissed. “Jacob?” she asked.
He narrowed his eyes. “Ryan? Is that you?”
“I hate you with all of my being.” With that, she turned and walked towards the wooden staircase. Jacob slowly tried to stand on his new hooves, but fell on his face. Ryan, who was already starting up the stairs, saw him and scrunched up her face to keep from laughing. Jacob stood up again and, this time, stayed on his hooves. Next, he tried to take a step forward and lost his balance again. Eventually he made it on his shaky hooves to the staircase, which posed an even greater challenge than the cold gray floor. And, after a few more faceplants, he made it to the top. The door was open. Through the doorway he could see that the refrigerator was open and Ryan was digging through it.
Jacob gathered himself together and spoke. “What the hell?”
She whipped around and glared at him. “Jake, this wasn't supposed to work! How did it work?”
He sighed. “You told me to test the spell on you. You told me to make you this.”
“I thought it wouldn’t work, so I picked something stupid!”
“Why would you think that? I told you it would work.”
“You tried easily a hundred others that you were equally confident about, and they all didn’t work. So I have every right to think that something as stupid as a transformation spell wouldn’t work either.”
“And why are you digging through my fridge?”
“Because I’m starving. Is all the meat rotten or something?”
Jacob furrowed his brow. “No, we just went to the store yesterday. Maybe ponies can’t eat meat.”
Ryan glared at him. “Great. Just another thing you took away from me.”
“Just grab some toast or something.” Jacob sighed and sat down on the couch in the adjacent living room. Ryan took the bag of bread in her hooves, and he saw the plastic bag crinkle as Ryan tried to open it with her mouth and watched it slip out of her hooves. After a few tries she sighed and tore off the top with her mouth, a few slices of bread falling on the floor. Placing the bread in the toaster was just as hard, and once again she had to use her mouth.
Ryan turned around to look at Jacob. “Where are the plates?”
Jacob deadpanned. “Oh hell no.” Ryan huffed and paced around the kitchen waiting for the toast to finished, but she slipped and fell face-first into a cabinet door.
Jacob jumped up, but Ryan stopped him. She groaned, “I’m fine, don’t freak out. Can’t say the same about this door, though.” The small, wooden cabinet door had a large crack in it from her fall. She stood still from then on.

>>42722043
When the toast was ready, Ryan grabbed it in her mouth, came back to the couch, and sat down. “Everything’s harder like this! Making food is harder, walking is harder, and even going out in public is impossible!”
Jacob turned to her. “How did you get here anyways?”
Ryan sighed. “I walked.”
“Four miles? On a Friday afternoon?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Jacob covered his face with his new hooves and an ear twitched. “When my parents get back from their trip they're going to kill me.”
“They'll kill you more if you're still a pony. So can you fix this?”
Jacob thought for a moment. “I could, yeah. The rune circles are in the basement.” With that, Ryan finished her food and they both went downstairs. The basement was dark and eerily quiet, and the chalk circles on the floor didn’t improve the atmosphere of the room much. Jacob opened the laptop still sitting where he left it. The webpage for the spell popped up, front and center. He started muttering. “Okay, there’s the activator, there’s the destination, and there are the two parts to the amplifier. Everything looks okay, but the only way to find out is trial and error.”
Ryan turned to him. “Wait, trial and error? You’re just going to mess with this and hope it doesn’t kill us?”
“No, no.” He scrolled further down. “The webpage says something about creating a magic test chamber where you can see the results of your spell without actually casting it on anybody. I’m going to try that.”
“Well why didn’t you use that the first time instead of using me as a test subject?”
“Because I didn’t know it was there.”
“You could’ve avoided this, but you risked our lives to test your stupid spell? This is pointless. I’m leaving.”
Jacob stopped him. “Where are you going to go?” Ryan froze. “It’s Friday night. Everybody’s out doing something, and you’re just going to walk out in the middle of the street. Where are you going to go? Not home. Like it or not, this is where you’re safest. And don’t blame me for this. If I knew there was another way, I would’ve used it. You know I wouldn’t get you involved unless it was the only way.”
Ryan came back to the circle. “Ugh, fine. But I’m going to complain the whole time.”
For the next few hours, Jacob tweaked various runes, all with different results, but not the ones he wanted. All the modifications either triggered the fail-safe and kept it from activating or would have turned them into something else. He rubbed out countless runes with a hoof and wrote in new ones, intent on finding the one that would fix this.

>>42722046
In the dark, dirty alley behind a convenience store, a gust of wind stirred up papers and other detritus littering the corners. A white light burst into existence and grew brighter and larger by the second. Suddenly, it exploded in a burst of magic, and two ponies stood in its place. The first was a well-built stallion with a blue coat that matched his eyes and a navy blue mane with bright, fiery streaks of color in it. On his flanks rested the image of a grey comet with an energetic purple tail. The second was a smaller mare with a lavender coat and purple hair that matched her eyes. On her flanks were three golden stars, partially obscured by a pair of beige saddlebags. They both cast a quick spell to check for harmful residue before turning to each other.
The mare spoke first. “Alright. You know the drill. We find the source of the disturbance, resolve it, and then go home. No messing around like you did on Zulu 9.”
The stallion laughed. “Oh, come on, Sky. You had fun.”
Starry Sky brushed some dirt off of her coat. “I’d hardly call running from half of the city of Zorada fun.”
“It was a good workout.” Blazing Comet turned towards the alley’s entrance as a car rushed past, blowing up stray leaves and plastic bags. “So where exactly are we, again?”
Sky pulled out a folder from her saddlebags. “We’re on an unnamed planet. If you paid attention during the briefing, then you’d know that there was a large burst of magic near here that set off our thaumic monitors, and we’re here to relay our findings back to the Princess. You’d also know that she wants information so badly because this is the first Equestrian magic ever used on this planet. There’s been smaller bursts of amateur spellbook magic, but nothing like this.”
“Of course I didn’t pay attention during the briefing.”
The mare turned to him. “You were checking out Special Agent Sweetie Drops, weren’t you?”
He looked away, grinning sheepishly.
“Comet, she is our senior officer. Plus, she’s already spoken for, remember?”
“Are they in an open relationship?”
Sky sighed. “Just start the detection spell. We should be in range.” With that, a blue glow surrounded his horn and his magic swept over the farthest reaches of the city with an invisible sensor.

>>42722051
After a few minutes, he stopped. “I’ve got some residue, but that’s it.”
“It must have been powerful to still has residue after this long. But if that’s all we have, then we should track it. Location?”
“About two miles northwest of here.”
“Then let’s get going. We’ll have to use the cloaking spell.” Starry Sky cast a quick spell, and then stepped out into the street. Although the sidewalks were populated, nobody turned their heads towards her. Blazing Comet followed after casting the spell on himself, trotting to catch up to her. Nobody noticed the clopping of their hooves as they started down the city streets. After a few minutes of walking, Comet cast another spell.
“Hang on, I got something.”
Starry Sky stopped. “Somepony's using magic?”
“Looks like it. From what I can tell it’s rune-based. Only modifications right now.”
“For what?”
“I can’t tell. But judging by its location, it’s at the same location as the burst. Come on.” They started walking again, still visible to only each other. As they silently crossed the street, Comet tried to make small talk with his partner.
“So, what kind of technology does this planet have?”
“Like I said, it’s an unnamed planet. We’re the first ones here.” she replied.
“Should I be taking notes?”
“If you don’t want Princess Twilight to send you back here for research, then yes.”
“Celestia, I hate research missions.”
“Then take some notes.”
“Why am I always the one who has to take notes?” With that, Comet grabbed a small book, a quill, and a portable inkwell and started scribbling observations about the alien planet as they continued to walk closer and closer to their destination.
/

>>42722054
Jacob fired up the magical test chamber again, only for it to flash a shade of navy blue while the runes that formed the translucent chamber glowed silver. “I hate it when that happens,” he muttered. Ryan had brought down a folding chair and was sleeping in the corner as the clock moved closer to midnight. But just as Jacob bent down to write in a new rune for the umpteenth time, he heard a knocking on the front door.
His head shot up and he spat out the chalk. “Ryan, there’s someone at the door.”
Ryan opened her light blue eyes. “Huh? What?”
“Somebody’s knocking on the front door. I’m going to see who it is.” He creeped up the stairs and, looking through the peephole, Jacob saw two unicorns standing on the front porch.
Through the door, a mare’s voice spoke. “Department of Thaumic Investigations. Open the door!”
Jacob motioned for Ryan, who was peeking out from behind a wall, to move out of sight. Shakily, he asked, “Are you from the government?”
The mare spoke again. “Kid, we’re not even from this planet. But we’re here to help.”
Jacob opened the large, wooden door and stared at them. “Uh, you're ponies too?”
“I'm just as surprised to see you. This is an unnamed planet. Until a few hours ago, nobody knew it existed. Are you from Equestria?” Jacob’s blank state was answer enough. “Then how did you get here?”
As Jacob started to sweat, the stallion stepped in. “Sky, we should probably get inside. The cloaking spell is wearing off.” He looked around for passersby and Jacob ushered the two ponies in. Once the door was closed, the stallion spoke again. “I'm Blazing Comet and this is my partner Starry Sky. We're here to investigate a surge in magical energies about six hours ago.”
“A surge in magic?”
Starry Sky spoke up. “Yes, and seeing as this is an unknown planet, I'm rather curious as to how another pony, especially one that's never heard of Equestria, got here.”
Jacob rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof. “Well, about that. I should be a human but I screwed up a spell. It turned me and my friend into ponies.”
Starry Sky was speechless. “How did you cast a transformation spell with two subjects? From what I can tell- ”
“You’re completely incompetent at anything magical.” her partner interrupted her.
“Comet!” she hissed. She turned back to Jacob. “But it takes years, even decades, of practice to cast something that complex. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to meet with the other affected pony.”
“Oh, no problem. He’s in the back room.” He turned and disappeared into the hallway. Then, Ryan peeked out from the hall. Blazing Comet immediately fixed his eyes on her, taking every inch of her in. She noticed him and looked away quickly, but stayed where she was. They gathered in the living room in the back of the house. Jacob and Ryan sat down, while the two agents levitated two notepads and quills out of Starry Sky’s saddlebags.

>>42722056
Blazing Comet leaned back on the dining room table while the mare spoke. She cleared her throat. “My name is Starry Sky, and this is my partner, Blazing Comet. We were sent here from the planet Equus to investigate a surge in magic, which we now know to be your transformation spell. Right now, our goal is to help you reverse the spell. If you know anything that you think would help with that, please tell us.”
“Well, the rune circle is downstairs in the basement if you want to see it.” Jacob said. Sky asked to examine the rune circle and Comet followed. They walked down the creaky stairs to the basement, where her colleague sat down and started examining the runes.
She leaned on the banister. “What does it look like?”
He saw the same, unfamiliar rune for the third time and sighed. “I can’t understand a word of this. I think we need to call in the boss on this one.”
“You really think she’d come?”
“Oh, definitely. A new world to learn about, a complicated problem. She’ll be here as soon as you send the letter.”
“You want me to write it?”
“Yep! I’ll be upstairs.” Before she could protest, Blazing Comet was already halfway to the stairs, leaving Starry Sky in the dust. He hurried up to where Jacob and Ryan were sitting, but avoided Jacob. “So, how’s life treating you?”
Ryan sighed. “Oh, aside from the involuntary transformation, I’d say things are okay.”
“Well, I’m doing everything in the book to help you. It’s tricky, but I know I can do it.”
She smiled. “You’re sure you can fix this?”
He beamed. “I’m sure.”
“In the meantime, though, I’d like to hear about where you came from.” Jacob said.
Blazing Comet looked over to Ryan. When she didn't disagree, he plopped down on the couch next to her. It was silent for a short second while he collected his thoughts, until Sky cantered up the stairs.
She turned to her partner. “Am I interrupting something?”
Comet just grinned. Seeing this, she sighed. “The Princess is on her way. She’ll be here any minute.” she said. With that, Comet stood up.
“What is she here to do? I thought Princess Celestia didn’t want her to go on field missions.” he asked.
“Well, the rune circle is beyond anything I’ve seen. It’s a patchwork of runes that do what they’re supposed to, runes that don’t do what they’re supposed to, and runes that I’ve never seen in my life. Surely you picked up on that when you were down there.”
“Yeah, I felt something like that. And nobody knows obscure runes like the Princess.” He turned to the other two ponies. “We’re bringing in Princess Twilight Sparkle in to help reverse the spell. If anyone knows how, it's her.”
Ryan looked up at her. “Wait, a princess is coming? Should I clean myself up?” She looked down at her hooves. “How do I clean myself up?”
Sky smiled. “You’re fine. The Princess has had enough late night study sessions to disregard little things like that.”
“Still, she’s a princess, right? Maybe Jake here could dust a bit?”

>>42722061
Jacob deadpanned. “The kitchen after you tried to make toast looks like the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and you’re trying to tell me to clean.”
Suddenly a scroll tied with a red ribbon appeared before Starry Sky. She opened it with her magic. “She's here. She'll teleport over to us once she gets our location.”
“She's gonna teleport? Isn't that impossible?” the pink-maned mare said.
Comet grinned. “You should know by now that nothing is impossible with magic.”
A bright flash lit up the room. When it died down, a lavender alicorn with similarly colored saddlebags and a deep blue mane with purple streaks stood in the corner. Starry Sky and Blazing Comet bowed to the princess. The two humans-turned-ponies tried to copy them, but Jacob lost his balance and fell on his side. Comet tried to hold back a laugh.
Twilight turned to Jacob and Ryan. “Are you two the humans?”
Jacob looked at himself, and then back to her. “Well, we're not humans now, but yes. My name is Jacob, and this is Ryan.”
“Well, I assure you that I will find a way to reverse the transformation. From what I was told, you used a rune circle. Do you mind if I see it?” After she took off her saddlebags, Jacob led her to the basement, where the chalk symbols still sat. Twilight trotted over to them and started mumbling to herself. “So let's see, there's two amplification chambers, but they're different. There's only one destination rune, though.” She turned to Jacob, who was sitting against the wall. “Who did you intend to change?”
“Just Ryan,” Jacob responded, and her eyes brightened in understanding.
“So here's what went wrong,” she started. “From what I can see, you used a common design for rune circles that has two amplification chambers that can either focus on one subject or change two normally. But you only specified a gender change on one. Since the chambers were different, the spell was told to change two people instead of one. But you only used one destination rune, and this particular spell has a fallback mechanism that targets the caster if there's a chamber with no destination.”
Comet turned his head to the humans-turned-ponies, who both wore blank stares. He waved a hoof in front of their eyes. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure they didn’t catch any of that.”
Twilight frowned. “That’s a shame. But I do know how to fix it.”
That snapped them out of their stupor. “You do?” Jacob asked, moving closer to the rune circle.
She beamed. “Yep! You just change the second amplification chamber to match the first, and you’ll be golden. But the spell should wear out soon. Rune circles have to work constantly to maintain a temporary spell like this one, and because you didn’t set a duration, it will use only the energy that you put into it. Because of your inexperience you used all of your magical energy on it, so the spell will wear out in–” she made a few mental calculations “–just a few more hours.”

>>42722062
Ryan breathed a sigh of relief. “So I won’t be stuck like this forever. That’s good news.”
Jacob turned to the princess. “Thank you so much for helping. If there’s anything I can do to repay you, please tell me.”
She suppressed a laugh. “It’s not that bad being a pony. And I didn’t do much, either.”
“But it’s a huge weight off our shoulders.”
“That I can understand.” Twilight paused for a moment. “Sky, the emergency teleport’s warming up.”
Sky looked up at her. “Wait, already?”
Twilight nodded. “This is an unknown planet, as far as we’re concerned. Protocol says it’s half the duration of a teleport to a documented planet.”
“Well, extend it.”
“I can give us another hour. That should be enough time now that the issue’s resolved.” A purple aura surrounded her horn for a moment before disappearing. “There.”
“Are you sure you can’t stay for longer? I’d love to hear about Equestria.” Jacob said.
“I wish I could, but we have other assignments. An hour’s the most time I can spare.”
Comet rolled his eyes. “And now, you’re going to have to answer a few questions.”
Twilight glared at him. “Now I’m going to add this planet to our database. And that does require answering some basic questions.” She turned back to Jacob. “But let’s do this somewhere more comfortable. Can we use your living room?”
Jacob shrugged. “I don’t see why not.” WIth that, he led them back upstairs. Starry Sky sat in one of the armchairs, and Twilight took a seat in the other one facing the sofa. Jacob and Ryan sat on the aforementioned sofa and, at the last second, Blazing Comet moved next to Ryan.
Twilight levitated a clipboard, a quill, and an inkwell out of her saddlebags, still discarded on the floor. She attached a sheet of paper to the clipboard and dipped the quill in ink. “Now, let’s begin. What’s the name of your planet?”
“Earth,” Jacob said.
She wrote for a few seconds. “How many countries are there on Earth, and how many of them would you consider extremely powerful?”
Jacob thought for a moment. “Oh, there are lots of countries. Probably around two hundred. And as for the most influential ones, I’d definitely say the United States of America, the country you’re in right now. There’s also China. Russia might make the list.”
When she was done writing, she continued. “What is the population of the dominant species?”
“You mean humans? Oh, about seven billion now.”
Comet whistled to himself. “Seven billion?”
Ryan nodded. “Seven billion.”
“Is that an estimate?”
Jake shrugged. “It’s about that, yeah. Hang on. I’ll go and check.” He stood up and cantered down the stairs to the basement. When he came back up he had his black laptop on his mouth.
Ryan put a hoof over his mouth to stop from laughing. “Jake, why do you have it in your mouth?”
He said something unintelligible. But when he set the laptop down on the couch, he tried again. “It’s the only way I could carry it.”
“You know you could use your horn, right?” Comet asked.

>>42722068
Jacob looked up at it. “I don’t know how.”
Twilight cleared her throat. “I’d love to teach you about magic, but we have more pressing matters.”
“Right, sorry,” he said as he looked for a pen. When he found one, he put it in his mouth to type on the keys too small for hooves. When Ryan opened his mouth to comment, Jacob only glared. Eventually, though, he found the number he was looking for. “Right now, it’s seven and a quarter.”
“Seven-point-twenty-five billion? How’d you find that out so quickly?”
Jake turned it around so Twilight could see the screen. “This is a computer. It runs a special code, kinda like runes, but without magic. You can make operating systems with the code that connects with other, larger computers that store data and sends it to any one computer.”
She raised her eyebrows. “We have computers in Equestria, but they take up an entire room. I’ll have to come back here so you can show me how they work.”
“And hopefully the circumstances will be different,” Ryan muttered.
“Moving on,” she said, “What makes up the diet of humans?”
Jacob winced. “You’re not gonna like this. We’re omnivores. We can eat plants, but also meat.”
Comet shot a glance at his boss. Twilight gave a glare back. “Right. Plenty of species eat meat. Next question. Have you colonized any other planets?”
Ryan spoke up. “Depends on what you call colonization. We sent people up to the moon about forty-five years ago. Not many people, but they came back unharmed. We’ve sent robots up to study Mars, and there have been some satellites that have flown to other planets to take pictures. But that’s it.”
Twilight wrote that down, and continued. “Okay, just a few more questions.” They continued for the rest of the hour, talking about mostly their level of technology and computers. But finally, right before the hour was up, she asked the big one. “How violent would you say your species is?”
Jacob sighed. “That’s a tough one. There can be some pretty violent people, and they can start wars that can kill thousands.”
Ryan cut him off. “ But at the same time, there are painters, musicians, people who campaign for peace. We can be violent but we can do great things.”
“Well, if the two of you are any indication, I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.” Twilight finished writing and put the clipboard away. “Well, the spell’s wearing off. We need to go back to Equestria.”
Jacob stood up. “Thank you so much for showing me what I did wrong,” he said.
She smiled. “No problem. Anything for a friend.”
“I’m your friend? We’ve only known each other for a couple hours, and I’m not even the same species as you.”
“Everypony, or every human, is my friend. I’m the Princess of Friendship.”
“Well then,” he said. “I’m glad to call you my friend.”
“Me too,” said Ryan. “It’s not every day you befriend a magical pony princess.”
Blazing Comet and Starry Sky sidled up next to Twilight. Ryan and Jacob waved to them. “Goodbye,” Jacob told them. “We’ll never forget you!”

>>42722073
Twilight waved goodbye and cast the spell, disappearing with her special agents in a puff of purple smoke.
Ryan coughed. “Oh my god.”
Jacob looked at her. “What?”
“I just realized that guy was hitting on me.”
Jacob burst into peals of laughter. “That’s great! You’ll never live that down.”
Ryan huffed. “You try turning into a mare sometime. It’s fun. Trust me.”
Jacob paid her sarcasm no mind. “So what should we do while we wait for the transformation to wear off?”
“I’m going to drink milk straight from the carton and try to sleep this off.”
“You have fun then.” As Ryan tried to forget the stallion’s advances, Jacob went to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and found a small bag of carrots. He tore off part of the plastic with the bag in his hooves and managed to keep all the carrots inside it. Jacob found a small bowl in a lower cabinet and dumped some of them in the bowl. He turned back to Ryan, who was sitting on the couch trying to ignore her memories. “You think I’ll be able to do magic like that someday?”
Ryan groaned. “Don’t even think about it. I never want to be a pony again.”
“I don’t know if I’d go that far. It’s not all bad.”
“I’ve said it before. You try turning into a mare sometime.” She jerked upright and looked down at her body. “Finally. We’re changing back.” She galloped off to the bathroom and shut the door. Jacob looked down at himself to see fur receding from his chest. His forelegs extended and his hooves cracked into five pieces that smoothed out to become fingers on a hand. His legs changed shape, going from pony to human, and his back hooves went the way of his front hooves. With the fur gone on most of his body, Jacob saw the furry, tan muzzle he had grown used to recede and split back into a human nose and mouth. His eyes shrunk and his ears moved down his head. When the transformation stopped, he was sprawled out on the kitchen floor, recovering from the change.
He looked down at himself. “Crap, I’m not wearing any clothes.” He yelled over to Ryan. “I’m going upstairs to grab some clothes. I’ll get you some, too.”
As he walked past the locked bathroom on his way to the stairs, he heard a now male voice on the other side. “Oh, thank God! I’ve missed you! I’ve missed you so much!” Jacob laughed to himself and continued up the steps. But on his way up, he stopped and smelled the air.
“I need to open a window,” he said to himself. “This whole place smells like horse.” But he cut off the thought with a long yawn. “It’s so late it’s early. I’m going to sleep.”

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EvYf5dexau3sWECFaTy5E6uvY7QZJT9aWQJfjrHyUyg/preview?tab=t.0

>>42721296
>Pinkie outs you with a surprise 'fourteenth anniversary of coming to Equestria as a pony' party.

>>42722271
That's even more accurate for how it'd realistically play out with her. Genuinely well-intentioned, but without consideration for ramifications.

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>>42723526

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>>42724174

>>42719457
Twilight did. And soon every pony will have one like it.