Who would you marry if you were isekai'd into Equestria?
>>42764551not that walled hagaloo
>>42764551too old
>>42764551I'd probably marry a background pony. Going for somepony just because of a parasocial relationship from watching them in a cartoon from another world feels weird.
>>42764559>>42764561Filly fooler alert
>>42764551I would be completely smitten by the first mare that would show me any kindness.
>>42764581You're going to fall in love with like 20 different mares on your first day.
I'd marry Pinkie, but I've been told that I won't be given a ticket due to my flag. ;(
>>42764596>aislop
>>42764606I thought it was funny. Let me give you some the real stuff.
>>42764551Ideally Luna, but in reality probably some background mare
>>42764551Zecora
>>42764659Zebra culture is zesty in Equestria, you may be forced to share her with the tribe or some shit like that.
>>42764551That all depends on what kind of bullshit overpowered isekai power I get.
>>42764551My wonderful wife Rainbow Dash
>>42764551when in a universe characters become real people not characters. you would fumble pursuing any of the main case because of your parasocial relationship with them prior and they'd be disturbed if you used your knowledge of them not to mention the issue you'd have establishing yourself within reach of them let alone flirting
>>42764551>Huge fan of CellyIdeally her, but that's a massive next to impossible standard. Growing close to a local mare living in whatever place I end up in is far more realistic.
>>42764551Twily, obviously.
>>42764673lol, why do you have such a shit taste?
Isekaing into Equestria is impossible. Magic isn't real. Even if it was, why would you specifically go into *Equestria* of all places?If you ever ended up in Equestria, that's already a huge heap of wish fulfillment. And unless the universe/whatever force that transported you thinks you _need_ to learn a lesson of some sort (and it won't necessarily be about avoiding parasociality or such - since one, it's not inherently bad and two, it'd probably blueball you from going to Equestria in the first place and offer something else if it were to take action) then it is not much of a stretch to say that X pony will most likely trend towards liking you back, too.Or in slightly more likely route of building CelestAI or whatever, you upload and X probably likes you back if that's really what you want in your heart of hearts.Anyway, if I were to wake up in Equestria I wouldn't really assume they'd like me - it's not right to treat people like that. It makes me very sad, but I'm sure the feelings would pass. Would just try to avoid them and become a wizard or something.I like Twilight a lot. I'm not good enough for her or most other ponies. It'd be cruel and wrong to impose myself on her, even if she somehow reciprocated. That's just how the dice came out.
>>42764681>>42764755>demoralization
>>42764551Why is scootaloo like this?
>>42764791She isn't
>>42764794proofs?
>>42764755But the universe loves you Anon!
>>42764681I'd say my character would be pleased to have such an obsessive fan.
>>42764791that’s what kids from broken homes usually grow up to act like
>>42764551Chrysalis. I can fix her.
>>42764821I know a girl who's 4'9 who had a happy childhood but watched way to much anime get her now husband like this.
>>42764755>Anon finally gets up the courage to kill himself>He hopes to disappear forever or be isekaied in equestria>He opens his eyes and finds himself in a shitty anime world he has never seen before
>>42764551Aged up Scootaloo is so much hotter than her filly form.
>>42764790Not necessarily demoralisation. My point was more that if you ever found yourself in Equestria, it's more likely they like you back. My bitching is separate.
>>42764681>Get isekai'd into Equestria pre S1>Decide to use existing knowledge to game the system >Celestia figures you out immediately and sends your ass to the fucking sun to ensure you don't interfere with her plan to turn Twilight into an Alicorn >Celestia also does some kind of mind reading shit to learn what you know and then gets a glimpse of the horror the fandom has thought up and doubles down on keeping your ass in the sun for all eternity
>>42764736>/fit/ pone who'd be a great mother laterwhat more could you possibly want?
>>42764864Fandom Celestia is a ruthless planner who has lived for eons and will do whatever it takes, real Celestia's just kind of a silly lady.
>>42764864i don't want to obstruct that. i want to go to an equestria where something like that isn't even on the table in the first place. otherwise it probably isn't the equestria i loved
>>42764551most realistic marriage would be a background pony and if none and if unicorn then I'll go gamer mode and use dark magic to end Equestria because no pony family = millions must die
>>42764875>real Celestia's just kind of a silly lady.It's a ruse
>>42764872>who'd be a great mother laterBased on what, some wish fulfillment like picrel?
I would pester the absolute shit out of Celestia every day because chances are I'd be taller than her guards.
>>42764790sorry if you feel demoralised anon, thats just how i see it. they'd be real people then not just characters, their personalities and yours might not click, you only see whats presented about them not them in every day life yknow?
>>42764919Yes we do it's a slice of life
>Get isekai'd into Equestria(Anthro because the gods are flipping a coin)>You're on the moon>Nightmare Moon is on the moon>Almost get violently raped by sexually repressed moon mare>First episode changes from Nightmare Moon breaking out and taking over Equestria into Celestia wondering what the hells is happening, only to check the moon and see Nightmare Moon dragging you to her rape chamber and she just peace's out.
>>42764944>(Anthro because the gods are flipping a coin)I'd find a moon rock and bash myself with it until I am no more.
>>42764944Anthro is not allowed on this board (rule 5)
>>42764931Slice of deez nuts
>>42764949Would you not love your waifu in Anthroquestria?
>>42764949You'll respawn because the moon is just the tutorial>>42764953You got coin flipped because they couldn't decide.
>>42764965I don't have a waifu but anthro ponies are awful, just awful.
>>42764670There is no evidence of this in the show. Zecora is the only zebra we see and has shown no intention of returning home. A secluded life in the forest sounds fun.
>>42764571>Straight white male alertYes
>>42764917the show? and no, it's a cute comic but very ooc on both ends. She never hates kids and I see her growing into a mix of her own mother and early season spitfire when she's older, not a pure housemare
>Isekai'd into Equestria>Time has been progressing normally so you land several years after the final battle>You can just live a life>If you meet the girls, you meet them, they're just normal people now>You aren't judged or hated for being human, there's uglier and weirder things than you >Twilight might take an interest in you purely because of the mirror, might let you visit or move to that world if being the only human is too lonely>The food is good
>>42764551>marryCringe. Isolate myself aka hermitmaxxing so I can be a true wizard or if unicorn then become the greatest magic wielder ever.
>>42765095based and only correct answer
>>42765080>Winding up in Equestria right before everything goes to shitGrim
>>42765112>go find Celestia and Luna on vacation>ask them if they know what Skyros is>they don't>you now spend the rest of your life peacefullyWell that was easy!
>>42765103>>42765103Absolute cringe.nomadmaxxing and steal all magic artifacts and gold from equestria with the power of my superior human gluteus maximus
>>42765146>>42765112>go ask them if they know who Faust(icorn) isFTFY
>>42765146>They don't >You leave >Both immediately start panicking because they don't know how (You) know about Skyros
>>42765156you can do both actually
>>42765177>wizard>having any musclesnice one pal
>>42765190>He doesn't know about the Life Wizard
>>42765190warrior turned wizard
>>427651900 int.
>>42765112>"Wow, lucky that green gorilla got here just in time eh twilight? That magenta alicorn was about to literally murder you? i heard they're having foals now"its the only way anon, you must rape opaline to save the future.
>>42764804I wish. I hate being like this so much. Makes me feel like a Chris Chan tier retard
>Isekai'd into Equestria>Just after nightmare moon was defeated>Try to use your knowledge of future events>All of it is wrong>The personalities of everyone is familiar, but how events play out is always different from the show.>The gala goes without issue and everyone has fun.>Chrysalis does not attack canterlot during the wedding.>Trixie does not find the alicorn amulet.>Starlight never built our town.>All the mane 6 got their cutie marks in different ways.>Even small stuff like what poison joke does or what Flim and Flam's schemes are is consistently different.
>>42765334>my equestria is infinitely replayableGreat!
>>42765250DS3 rulesget fucked
>>42765332>"my dear"Twilight does not talk like this.
>>42764875She has at least lived for a thousand moons.
>>42765364Maybe not to you.
>>42765334sounds like something wroth getting AiE'd into
>>42765334That'd be fine by me.
>>42765334>gaslit equestriasounds like fun
>>42764673This.
>>42765146>>ask them if they know what Skyros is>>they don't
>>42765334>Anon later finds out that said events did happen, but Celestia was informed of his imminent arrival and simply put in a lot of effort to hide it from him with almost comical effectiveness.>Anon suddenly feels rather silly because every instance was the result of Celestia asking him to get her a cake she likes from Trottingham
>>42765484What's so special about Trottingham cakes anyways? There's something about a special ingredient but the baker pony seems embarrassed to talk about it.
>>42765417It's an art style. Both of their wings are closer to alicorn size.
>>42764551Marriage is a scam and I don't want to go to Equestria
>>42765817How would you feel if you did not have breakfast this morning?
>>42765830I'd be hungry you pinhead. I know what a hypothetical scenario is.Magically getting teleported to a hypothetical fantasy world isn't going to change my mind about marriage and love.
>>42765852Anon's either gonna have a successful intervention, or he's gonna have to explain to Celestia why he hit Cadence with a Stone Cold Stunner
>>42765852Cadance could fix you
>>42765370Became just a little sillier with each moon
>>42766771No she couldn't. There isn't a single thing she could do that would make me believe in love.
>>42766964do you at least believe in friendship?
>>42766967
>>42765370Tamers12345 lived for 30 years
>>42766964She could, and she'd do it in under 22 minutes to leave you enough time to recite the lesson you learned on why love is real and how you shouldn’t let past bad experiences close your heart to it.
>>42766975that makes me sad anon, friendship is real
>>42765852>love is a scam>in a universe where love magic is a tangible force that btfo'd a whole armyThat doesn't add up.
>>42766988Fucking true. It's magic!
>>42766988>She couldNo. I will never fall in love. I will never trust anyone enough to let that happen. Anybody showing interest is just pretending and has an ulterior motive.Love is a lie, valentine's day is just a corporate grift, and marriage is a scam.
>>42767087Anon, the very fact that your opinion on the subject is this strong is proof that you'd be selected as the character to have his mind changed in an episode like that. If you were just of the opinion that romance wasn't for you and you're happier focusing on yourself and your interests then it wouldn't happen to you.
>>42764831If you keep your memory you could kys until reaching Equestria
>>42767092I will never change my mind. I don't care how catchy the song Daniel Ingram cooks up for the episode is, I am not falling for it.
>>42767087>be me>terminally jaded faggot>"love is a lie">"marriage is a scam">"valentine’s day is a corporate psyop">one night fall asleep shitposting about it>wake up in pastel hell>pink alicorn smiling down at me>"You look like someone who needs a little love~">ohgreatherewego.png>tell her love is fake and gay and that everyone just pretends for personal gain>she just giggles>next few days are pure emotional warfare>Cadance keeps dragging me to couples around town>shows me how they care for each other even when nopony’s watching>introduces me to ponies who’ve been together for years>an old couple who still hold hooves like teenagers>a stallion who works two jobs just to give his mare more time with their foal>a mare crying because her coltfriend surprised her with a picnic>keep telling myself it’s fake>but it’s not>they’re not acting, they’re just happy>Cadance finds me sitting alone, staring at the stars like a fag>she just smiles and sits next to me>"So, still think it’s all fake?">try to come up with a snarky reply>nothing comes out>she just smiles knowingly>my chest feels warm for the first time in forever>tears start>"Think you’re ready to admit it’s real?">"…Yeah. Maybe love’s not a scam after all.">episode ends>theme music plays>wake up and look at the clock>mfw it's somehow only been 22 minutes
>>42767121Wouldn't happen to me lmao. Cadance is gonna have to kill me if she wants me to stop.
>>42767121Alt ending>Cadance finds me sitting alone, staring at the stars like a fag>she just smiles and sits next to me>"So, still think it’s all fake?">try to come up with a snarky reply>nothing comes out>she just smiles knowingly>my chest feels warm for the first time in forever>I stand as Cadence approaches, no doubt to hug me>She just activated my trap card>The 'Love' Princesses eyes widen as she realises her folly>But it is too late
>>42767397LOL
>>42766964You won't have a choice.Unlike in this world, there, love is a real thing of great power. And humans are more susceptible to it than any creature of their world. You're going to have little hearts in your eyes all the time. You will believe in love.
>>42765262>you must rape opaline to save the future.I don't know, Opaline destroyed creaturequestria, maybe I'll wait until she's genocided the other races before raping her to calm her down
Whichever filly I wanted, and I wouldn't be a pony.
Mayor Mare please and unicorn so I can use my magic to grab her from anywhere and use her as a onahole and a filly factory.
>>42764551She would tap her hoofEach tap of hoof would echo around the empty stalls, and the taps would only hasten as she's met with silence.She would turn from carefully studying each price against each brightly-colored product, comparing the size and girth of each chocolate bar to the price.There are bars that are longer and broader than their neighbors, but sold for the same price.She would be saying something to me but I couldn't hear itMy expression wouldn't change.She said "-excuse me-. Are you listening?" I would then speak"Why is it your favorite?"She would go silent for but a moment"What?"I would tilt my head at the empty stall that we loitered."You said this food stall is your favorite. Why is it your favorite?"Her eyes would narrow"Because it sells my favorite snack, so get away from--""There is another vendor on the street below that sells the same stock.""So?"She would be annoyed now"So why would you prefer this stall in particular over another?" "All the food vendors commissioned by the nobles in Canterlot are contracted to provide the same inventory, replenished daily.""So, it doesn't matter which stall you use, you'll encounter the same things.""So, why is this stall in particular, your favorite?" I would ask once more"It... just is." she would reply quickly"I use this one all the time.""Are you sentimental towards a stall?" I would questionShe would shrug."Sure, why not."She would now be staring at the side of my face"Are you going to leave now?""Why?" I would ask again"Why?" she would repeat back to me"Why what?""Why do you keep asking me why, why won't you just go away!""Leave my stall and let me get some peanut butter slices!" she would reply terselyI would watch her for a long time, not blinking.She would squirm under your stare."You want the peanut butter slices?""Those there, in the top right, for a dollar?" I would askShe would nod.I would show her a bit in the palm of my hand.
>>42767682She would straighten up and forces a smile, hoof on her chest, projecting her best attempt at triumph under my indifferent eyes."Offering money to me?"I suppose I'll let you do me this favor--"Call it.Her hoof would hover over the coin, but wouldn't take it."What?""Call it.""Why?""To see if you get the peanut butter crackers."The street is empty. The majority of ponies went home a while ago.It would be just you and her in the long stone brick, street.Your other hand would go to your side, and the heavy hilt at your waistband would obscured by your coat."Call it."She would swallow.Maybe she would sense the danger.Maybe she would have no idea and wouldn't be used to this sort of protracted confrontation.It doesn't matter."And what happens if I don't guess it right?" she would asked warily"Call. It."She would look between you, the coin, and the stall.She would pull her hooves back beneath her against herself and her shoulders would slump.She wouldn't meet my eyes now."Tails, I, um. I-I think tails."I would flick the coin and catch it, slapping it against the back of my palm.I would peek beneath it and nod.She would watch me, frozen. I would watch her back, judging by her slight, poorly-nourished frame how fast she could run if he needed to."Well done."I would hand her the bit so that she could buy the crackers.She would take them with not a hint of triumph, she just looks a the simple blue and green packet with the little clear window showing the slices as if she hadn't wanted them after all."Savor them."She would swallow again."What were you going to do?" she asks in almost a whisper"Those slices will be the best thing you've tasted all week, savor them. I would tell her"They represent tomorrow, and all the tomorrows to follow." I would say say with a finality"What were you going to do if it wasn't..."She would eye the glint of metal hanging off your hip under your coat.I would purchase my own snack - a packet of apple slices - and leave her standing there by her favorite stall.I would think, perhaps it won't be her favorite stall anymore.Perhaps she'll have a change of heart.I would hope she won't. She and that stall are bonded, now.
>>42764551The pink one, i have a baking career to kickstart and a poni to befriend, and if possible, mare-y
>>42764875>silly ladyI LOVE MY SILLY WIFE!
>>42764551Why is she like this?
>>42767637BASED. But isn't she a little too old to be a filly factory?
>>42767589If I see heart eyes I'm flinging myself off a cliff. I will not be tricked or hexed into falling in love.
>>42768028Could find (or make) a spell to up her fertility. win win!
>>42768028no, she just dyes her mane to look it
>>42767685What the fuck is that just no country for old men? Why would you menace your pony wife?
>>42764551I could fix her
>>42764551Scoots would never do that to poor Anonstallion
>>42765443>SkyrosAlways sounds like gyros to me. Retarded name.
>>42769500Same
>>42767934I'd hate to see her after she's had far to much coffee
>>42764551>PicLucky guy.
>>42768918>Scoots would never do that to poor AnonstallionI mean she's grown up and compared to other pegasus mares her wings are undeveloped. She'll take drastic measures and since any anon from here realistically will either be a hermit or a arrogant cunt i'd say she'd take her chances and secure Anonstallion as her husband.
>>42765190>Not knowing about the muscle wizard/tg/ would like a word with you
>>42768738No.
>>42770969>secure Anonstallion as her husbandIf that's all I wouldn't even mind that so much.
>>42768738with hot sweaty sex
>>42770969How would that go?
>>42764571"Filly fooler" means "lesbian". Maybe you meant "foal fiddler" instead.
>>42773370Very thoroughly.
>>42764831>anime title: I anheroed to make the pain go away and meet my cartoon pony waifu in the next world, but instead found myself in a generic anime isekai full of anime 3D girls that want to ruin me for my waifu?!'IATMTPGAAMMCPWITNW,BIFMIAGAIFOA3DGTWTRMFMW?!', or 'No Pony Waifu Laifu' for short, will be the next hot anime this year.
>get job at appul farm to make money and get in shape, maybe agree to work for food and shelter>get introduced to your boss's friend group>put the moves on your waifu>study magic under purple smart >fitlitmaxxed exotic creature with a weird awareness of future events and doesn't need an entire episode to solve trivial issues>bang your waifu and if you want, use magic to learn a way to have kids
>>42774099A man with a plan.
>>42774099>move deep into a creepy forest >surround yourself with magical artifacts and ancient tomes>become somewhat of a local legend>hermitmaxxed exotic creature with a weird awareness of future events, yet wishes not to deal with ponies and their trivial issues>zap lighting at particularly mischievous ponies who keep fucking with your alchemy ingredient garden>ignore Cadance's attempts at getting you to fall in loveMuch better
>>42774522>Cadence proceeds to challenge Anon to an honourable duel of swords after being embarrassed multiple times>Anon's response
>>42774900I would assume he'd use his dick. Cocksword fighting
>>42774522>become old Obi-Wansounds kino
>>42771795Yes
>>42776056Based
>>42776676This post was sent by mulberry hooves.
>>42776687That would be fine for me.
>>42764551>be me>get Samurai Jack'd into pony world>still human>iknowwhattodo.avi>arrive in Canterlot>cloaked, trying not to attract too much attention>find Minuette's dentist office>schedule an appointment>hood slips, hooman reveal>she wigs out and wants to see me immediately>"Wow, I've never seen a creature like you before! Mind if I examine your teeth?">she insists that I move in with her so she can "study my dentition better">yesma'am.png>end up becoming best friends>get a local job working construction to help cover the bills>grow even closer to her>begin dating her>marry her>adopt some orphaned foals and start a family>live a blissful life that I don't deserve with the love of my lifeA man can dream, can't he?
>>42776789Truly beautiful, Anonymous.
>>42776789>adopt some orphaned foalsThat's noble. But why not have some of your own?
>>42776953The universe may not be so kind. And it may be that no amount of magic mumbo jumbo can pair a hip tall quadruped with an alien from another dimension.
>>42776969>6969The universe says you WILL fuck and you WILL impregnate you waifu
>>42776979Yes universe. I will have wild unprotected sex and impregnate my mare.
So going to Equestria as a human would be the same as a creature from a universe that looks more realistic than this universe coming to our world. That would be mindbreaking. How can something be more realistic than our world? The same must ponies think.
>>42777002They won’t necessarily be cartoony. If they were, how would that even work for you?
>>42776979This. The numbers don't lie.
>>42774060>anon finds love in the generic anime isekai world, with the main villain's horse
>>42777002I mean, the MLP multiverse turns you into another species when you cross dimensions.
>>42777413And what would that be?
>>42777647You'd go from hooman to barbieman. Well that or a green skinned, faceless, human adjacent creature in a suit.
>>42776979I don't care what the universe says, I am not getting a waifu. Cadance can go step on a lego.
>>42777866She has hooves tho?
>>42777944Legos are stronger
>>42777944Ever seen those hoof doctor youtube channels? There's at least as much that can go wrong with hooves as human feet. Imagine getting a sliver of plastic stuck through a toenail, then having to walk on it.
>>42778179>This just in.>Anon is publicly lynched by angry Crystal Ponies after using a WMD in Cadence
>>42778462>in CadanceWhat, did he shove a Lego brick up her ass?
>>42778481Either that or it got stuck in her hoof
>>42778481On this episode of Products That Never Caught On:>the Lego buttplug
>>42778535>they discontinued the Lego buttplug
>>42764551Nopony. I like pone specifically because it's not real. I'm not remotely the kind of person who is meant to have an actual relationship. I don't make that sort of connection with others, I'm probably schizoid or something. If I tried I'd just make myself and my partner miserable, probably end up fantasizing about another mare, and repeat the cycle.
>>42778542Sadly, the ponies live in a good world, but not a perfect one.
>>42765146>>42765443>ask them if they know what Skyros is>they do-
>>42777798That isn't a change in realism it's one 2d to another 2d, do you know what realistic means or are you an ESL?
>>42778785what the fuck did they do to them?
>>42778842UOHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>42778785>Asks the about Skyros>They are shocked and ask how you know about that> Tell them the filly that tried being their friend that they essentially bullied back when they were fillies themselves is gonna come back, drive a wedge between the three pony tribes and then kill the Elements and that it's literally their fault and that nothing is gonna stop it because Opaline is apparently so strong that even Discord gets whupped.
>>42778842>g% was a terrible thing to beholdAfter a while, you get numb to how eerie and unnatural the characters look in that show, then they bring out a character they claim is one that you know, then it hits you how horrible they look, all over again.
>>42778886Discord is too busy fucking Fluttershy's skeleton to care.
>10
>>42778897>He doesn't know
>>42766988>Pain Threshold [Impossible - Failure]>Ask her for a hug. That's what you need more than anything else right now.
>>42779355F
>>42779355That would be the hardest FiM episode to date.
>>42776969In the wise words of another anon: "Why would you cuck yourself in your own fantasy?"
>>42764551Of courseI WILL have two children with TrixieI WILL listen to her whisper sweet nothings into my ear I WILL help her set up her magic actsI WILL sleep with her in her wagonI WILL learn magic, so I can become her assistantI WILL help her with the cookingI WILL shower her with love and careI WILL help clean her wagonI WILL explore Equestria alongside herI WILL love her and I WILL be happy
>>42780855When a human falls out of the sky, a mare should bring them first to a hospital, before any matrimony or matrimony-related activities.We should distribute leaflets, or something.
>>42779206
>>42781012How do you plan to survive such a fall to begin with?
>>42780855>her
>>42781655Kek
>>42764875Maybe she's both.
>>42778897>>42780554Minus the sexual content, that could work for a creepypasta. Discord becomes consumed with grief and rage, and goes S2 Premiere again only without any of the charm or fun. How this translates into a desktop game is up to you.
>>42780687HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I SAY THAT ALL THE TIME!!
>>42781655>(You)
>>42782054>moblenigger trannymaybe not so wise words after all
>>42764551Sex with Scootaloo
>>42782491Dude, what does that even mean?
>>42782852Cute
>>42782929It's a buzzword mix. Nothing to understand here.
>>42782929Means you're a phoneposting tranny, dummy.>>42783912t. faggot enabler
>>42782852Yes
>>42768028Mares do not have menopause, another one of the MANY reasons they are superior to 3DPD
>>42783915Whats wrong with posting via phone?
>>42764994Based
>>42764551Rarity
>>42784969Nothing really, it's just often an indicator of the lowest lifeforms being behind the post.
>>42786067I mean, you’re not wrong. Using fourchan on a phone sucks ass. But how could one even tell?
>>42782852You have to hold the wedding first. How will you find a dress in her size?
>>42786097Because your filename got changed to IMG_*.jpg which is something a lot of phones do on uploading. I don't know why though because it never does that for mine. Maybe it's an iToddler only thing.
>>42786125Oh, I just Jpgs normally. I have no clue how to work this shit. I am like a boomer.
>>42786028sexy outfit
>>42786757She always has the best outfits
>>42764551The mare who'd show some genuine interest in me.
>>42787256even if it's granny smith?
>>42784548Damn
>>42787265She's already married though.
>>42764681>he assumes the mares will act like white women They’re sweet kind and caring anon, they would probably be intrigued that you’ve heard of them before. They are all basically famous for saving Equestria many times over after all.
>>42788124>white women>implying all women aren't evil creatures
>>42787265ESPECIALLY if it's granny smith
>>42788274True, but the way anon describes it he was specifically talking about that type of white woman neurosis. Mares are much more wonderful than any 3D scum
>>42788124this is the way
>>42788533>>42788124>>42788888>>42788274>>>/r9k/
>>42788934Seething simp or seething woman? Call it.
>>42764681Yeah that's why I'm going to rape my waifu.
>>42788937No one mentioned women until you started whinging, so take your offtopic shit and leave
>>42788941The hypothetical woman isn't going to fuck you bro
shut up and get married
>>42789256Consider me convinced.
>>42764551My waifu. Simple as.
>>42789256Cute
>>42788124Mares are white woman coded without the bad stuff
Slide save.
>>42789256Sex now
I'd probably be a 37 year old wizard like I am now
>>42791611so a 37 year old faggot? Suck a dick, fag.
>>42791617
>>42791617This is how the board used to be. Before the mods started banning everyone who argued
>>42764551The right mare.
>>42764596cute
>>42792157Before you homos urged everyone to stop gatekeeping because 'muh dyin board'.Now they're here, wont leave and act like they're in good company.
>>42789256I see Lyra isn't fucking around.
>>42792157Yeah sometimes entire threads get pruned because of two people arguing
>>42793324Sometimes I feel this happens on purpose to achieve this very outcome.
>>42781411
>>42792699I rather have a slow board than one with blatantly obvious slideposting.
>>42793674
>>42794953Hello, Cheese Sandwich.
>>42764551Which era of Equestria are we talking about?
I'd marry AJ just to save her from becoming a dyke.
>>42795352based
>>42795352She never was one. And never will be.
>>42794953Peak
>>42795824Heh
>>42764596>yoo lust yer tiggittFuck this "ticket" nonsense. Are you taking a train, like a pajeet? No, you're a man. You march to where you want to be.Liking EqG means you end up there. Since you like EqG, you know the whole point of the place is to break down the walls of reality and find happiness.You'll get your barbie-Pinkie and together you'll find a way into real Equestria. That's how you get your pony-Pinkie.
>>42796905based ticket meme hater
>>42794953Best moment.
>>42797553>Party PonyNot really.
>>42797931nice
>>42797931Not bad.
>>42789256Megumin
>>42797931
>>42798958This is hotter than it has any right to be.
>>42798958>>42797931Peak Rarity design
>>42795352Hope you're ready for lots of foals. AJ wouldn't settle for one.
>>42800272>Anythin' for mah sista, eeyup. Keepin it in the family bloodline.
>>42800289Big Mac is a real bro.
>>42795352You make it sound as if that were a sacrifice or something.
>>42801013What? He's the one fucking Applejack.
>>42801235He's the one who knocks
>>42801760He knocks (her up).And unlocks (her heart).
>>42764596>flagWhy would you use this one when you could have the superior option?
>>42802202he's going for the pinkie that doesn't have the cheese touch if you know what I mean
>>42802206They both have. DYEWTS?
>>42802209I only watched up to S2 and I haven't touched EqG, my bad. I only know from what i've picked up here for years
>>42802209Marble didn't. I think he meant that.
>>42764551I don't think I would be qualified to marry. I am very qualified to be Luna's designated harmless (to her), loving stalker though.I'm not sure if I'll be awarded a job in the Night Guard or a lifetime in a prison cell as a result.
>>42802209There's at least on duplicate that escaped the mirror pool incident. DYEWTS?
>>42802629Probably both, in the day your in the cell. But at night you'd serve Luna
>>42801234**if nothing else.
>>42802209To be fair THOUGH, that was revealed only in the hidden forbidden deep lore that few have ever seen (aka a blooper real DVD bonus scene)
>>42764551Here's a better question for you all.Assuming you went to Equestria as you are now, still human, how old are you when you get there?If time has passed equivalently since the premiere of episode one, than it's been roughly fifteen years, meaning everyone in Equestria is fifteen years older than you'd remember from season 1.If you ended up in Equestria in season 1, than the Mane6 are, what, in their early twenties?I bet a lot of you guys are over thirty now, so you'd probably seem to old for them at that point.
>>42803172Im a newgen so they would be older than I am. Also, we have a lot of hagfuckers here.
>>42803115would. both.
>>42803585But only in pony form.
>>42803172I go as the shota.
>>42803172I go as the ageless wizard who can shoot fireballs and conjure arcane storms.
>>42803172I'd spin the 15 years back if I could. Entering Equestria as a fresh 18 year old would be perfect.
>>42803172i'd rather go in as a pony
>>42803172mares know that age is just a number
>>42803914>practically immortal>shoots fire>conjures storms
>>42804674Who?
>>42805045She's a dragon from G3.5.
>>42805052Figures. I never touched that.
>>42795352>haber decided to make the old-fashioned traditional mare with strong family values into a dykewhat was he thinking?
>>42805135anything to satisfy the lgbt folks for the drip of cum from the higher ups at hasbro for a promotion for DEI'ng mlp fim
>>42764551I would >rape all the ponies without marrying them.
>>42803914That would be the best option. I'll build a tower in the mountains where ponies can travel to and beseech me for aid. I will capriciously grant the wishes of any who can endure my tricks and pranks. Whenever I descend into town for necessities, I will recite incomprehensible parables for any who will listen. And once a year I will blow something unimportant up with one of my strongest evocations, for shits and giggles.
>>42805135That never happened. And no one can tell me otherwise.
>>42805334
>>42804570>t. underaged B& and friendzoned
>>42803172This is why I'd shoot my shot with either Celestia, Luna or Chrysalis
>>42806064>Going straight for the big targetsCherry Jubilee, Ms. Harshwhinny, and Ms. Peachbottom all need a man in their lives
>>42803361>>42806330>>42806064See? I told you, hagfuckers among us. Based though.
>>42806330I am a man of ambition, anon.
>>42765408The look on AJ's face..."I want me some of that!"She starts competing with Rainbow Dash for Anon's affections...
>>42764551The right one.
>>42806488I don't think the princesses count as hags. That's a tough sell.
>>42764551GIWTWM
>>42807911Scootaloo or Anonstallion?
>>42807930Anonstallion, obviously.
I'd go as a human and marry a cute filly.
>>42807934>obviouslyYou never know these days.
>>42807938gay
>>42805135Did he subvert your expectations?
>>42764551Scootaloo, obviously.
>>42809217You don't run an "archive", do you?
>>42806330Nothing wrong with those.
>>42805137How many Hasbro CEOs did Haber suck off to get the LGBT representation he wanted?
>>42809783Frankly, I don't want to know.
Up.
>>42809217Adult or current?
>>42801235Better him than no one.
>>42810095
>>42805836Na, fuck the pain. It was garbage and shouldn't be acknowledged by anyone.
>>42810493yes
>>42805135It's called being a massive fag
>>42764551I wouldn't marry Fluttershy because I'm not worthy of her
>>42812664Then become worthy.Simple as.
>>42812111Not sure if that's determined or cursed.
>>42764551i would marry my life size plushie
>>42813475Living plushies are kinda based.
>>42813712But also bordering on existential horror.
>>42814205True, cursed plushies are an interesting concept nonetheless. Especially if it’s of a pony inside equestria. That would be super weird.
>>42814256They've seen weirder stuff than this.
>>42808164There isn't any actual femanons, dummy so nobody will pick sctooaloo.
>>42814614>so nobody will pick sctooalooAgreed on the first half, but I wouldn't bet cash on that if I were you.
>>42814614Cute and funny lovers though. Everyone knows Scoots is the easiest lay out of the CMC
>>42814921Because she has no family?
>>42815144>Because she has no family?Her parents and gay aunts exist
>>42815439>>42815144People still headcanon homeless scoots for whatever weird reason.
>>42815439Proving the point.
>>42815546>for whatever weird reasonThe 'weird' reason is called S9. And the lacking quality thereof.
>>42815620Headcanons arent weird. Liking the idea that a child is homeless is weird.
>>42815623That has nothing to do with liking. But with parents and aunts like these, Scootaloo is better off as an orphan.
>>42815796Yall just like adoptee dash.
>>42815796>But with parents and aunts like these, Scootaloo is better off as an orphan.this.either homeless Scoots can be adopted by RD/(You) and live happily ever after, or Scoots is forever saddled with family who don't give a shit about her.the former is better.
>>42815875Who wouldn't? I can't even imagine how much of a shit eater you'd have to be to consider that episode canon. You'd have to have a humiliation fetish to not immediately discount it as the terrible character assassination that it is.
>>42815875No, I just despise season 9. Simple as.
>>42815875It's better than the alternative.
>>42815935Based.Scoots parents are mega-tier scumbags having a kid then abandoning her. Plus they made Steve Irwin look bad.Orphan Scoots is way more fun anyway.
>>42815909>>42815935>>42816310>>42816914>>42817177You do raise some good points. I don’t remember that episode that much anyway. This also reminds of in Skyrim when you have to kill some bad parents if you want to adopt a kid.
>>42814614Anon... if only you knew...
>>42817177F
>>42817177>parents are mega-tier scumbagsTo this day I refuse to watch this episode on principle. The concept alone is a total shitshow from start to finish.
marry Dash, adopt Scoots
>>42797931>The image where she plays tennis with Dash and uses an advanced tactic to her advantageWhen you know, you know.
>>42818981This is the way
>>42818981Why not the other way round for shits and giggles?
>>42764551That Anon is fucking lucky.
>>42820139You'd have to fight Windy and Hothoof for her. That would lead to unnecessary family tension.
>>42818981Marry DERPY and adopt Scoots because fuck Rainbow Trash.
>>42806064I see why Luna or Celly, but why the fuck would you pick bug butt?
>>42820758Marry Derpy. Adopt Dinky.
>>42821198You dont have to tell me twice
>>42818981>>42820139>get a crush on RD>RD decides to adopt Scoots>don't want to be a dad>but RD pushes you to try>slowly get won over by Scootacute>RD suddenly gets My Little Dashiefied through shenanigans>have to take care of her as a filly>Scoots is now the big sis>bond with Scoots over taking care of RD>fall in love>Scoots is now your wife, RD is your adopted daughter>ponyworld is weird
>>42821348Then Luna wakes you up from that fever dream and calls you a weirdo even though you have no control over your dreams.
>>42821198Good ending too.
>>42821198She's already married to the doc.
>>42821599The doc got several wives and children in dozens of timelines and parallel universes.
>>42821603WouldnÄt that count as cheating?
>>42821842considering that Derpy has Dinky it's fair game
>>42764551Rainbow Dash easy. No other mare makes my heart flutter quite like her
>>42764551I don't think I'm capable of expressing affection let alone romantic love sorry.
>>42786097>fourchan
>>42821599I keep this picture in my pocket to remind you anons that aint true.
>>42822267I hate using numbers. Fourchan fourchan fourchan fourchan.
>>42822666>itoddler flag user btfo himself checks out
>>42822671The fuck is a btfo?
>>42822705>inb4 quit spoonfeedingIt means "backed the fuck out" as in reveal, or exposed
>>42822715Ha! I ain’t hiding. I am new. Three weeks pretty much. I am a phone user. I don’t know everything about this place. I carry this flag because I fucking love Derpy Hooves. I use Jpegs. I don’t know how to use spoilers. I won’t lurk. I won’t hide.
>>42822732>I am new. Three weeks pretty much. I am a phone user.Friendly advice. That's not something you should reveal so openly.
>>42823433I ain’t hiding. I don’t care.
>>42764856Filly scootaloo is just an abuse magnet. Mare scootaloo is slutty damaged goods
>>42823496You can still fix her though.
>>42822732New blood? In 2025??? How?
>>42823932I have been avoiding coming to fourchan for a long time. Let alone mlp. Always been slightly interested in it since a kid. But you know, bronies and all that came with it made me cringe away. My friend streamed fourchan to me not too long ago after I started getting into mlp. And I was fasinated by the freedom of speech. Something that I have always found important. It’s a very entertaining website.
>>42789256Alright.
>>42823960Hello newfag
>>42822015What's the thing about her which gets you?
>>42822732>Ha! I ain’t hiding. I am new. Three weeks pretty much. I am a phone user. I don’t know everything about this place. I carry this flag because I fucking love Derpy Hooves. I use Jpegs. I don’t know how to use spoilers. I won’t lurk. I won’t hide.
>>42823960>And I was fasinated by the freedom of speech. Something that I have always found important.This is the most important point. If you can live up to that, you're on the right site.
>>42824280>>42824459>>42824892It’s the most important thing to me. And hello! :D Nice to meet ya.
>>42825175
>>42825178Love her so much.
>>42764551Yes.
>>42823960I came here from Reddit because it became too liberal. The thought of Ron Paul becoming a favorite there now is an impossibility
>>42826174I never used a platform like this one before, but gosh do I learn quick. Also… who the hell is Ron Paul
>>42826217A politician later known as Doom Paul. He's the originator of the 'It's over' meme.
>>42823960Welcome aboard! I'm relatively new here myself. >>42824892This and just general respect for board culture. >>42826217DEATH IS THE ONLY WAY OUT.
>>42826328Nice to meet ya. :D>>42826261No clue what any of that is.
>>42826217>>42826345You'll never know just how much we lost...
>>42826405I am missing a lot of information…
>>42825727Wise decision.
>>42826405F
>>42826539Much will be lost in time. Like tears in the rain.
>>42764551My future wife.
>>42764551why doesn't anon simply just use his pegasus wings to fly away to keep his wizard powers? It's not like scootaloo can chase after you lol
>>42828197He doesn't seem to be very bright.
>>42828480neat
>>42828480Lucky guy.
>>42764551I would focus on the best: Starlight, Rarity, Cozy (if possible) and maybe Aunt Orange
>>42829476You have a very strange taste, dude.
411
>>42831055She makes it sound like a bad thing.
>>42831055>Short-Short hair Rainbow dash.Amazing.
>>42830528Never forget.
>>42831313Huh, I didn't notice that.
>>42831313all rainbow dashs are amazing
>>42764551Would Pegasus Anon beat Rainbow Dash in a race?
>>42832534Dash wouldn't even entertain the idea. Which makes it even more interesting.
>>42832532Sad to say for Rarity. But Rainbow dash looks way better with that hairstyle.
>>42832897The rainbow color doesn't work very well with that form though.
>>42764551Rainbow dash, life would never get boring
>>42833164I think the rainbow plays into it. Why do you say that?
>>42832542Nah she'd would just so she'd win the race.
>>42833322It just doesn't look fitting in my eyes.
>>42833738That’s understandable. I kind of like the different sections it kinda makes. Really highlights the rainbow theme that is her hair.
>>42832897You're saying Rainbow Dash looks good with Rainbow Dash's hairstyle?
>>42833746The color pattern isn't quite the same.
>>42834004>>42833746Yeah, her hair mostly looks orange here.
>>42834612Would she be a good mother?
Uppo.
>>42834651At the front. The rainbow pattern disperses over the hair in its entirety.
>>42832532Imagine her having a floaty mane like the princesses.
>>42764551my waifu
>>42836770Is it because you're also mentally and physically retarded?
>>42836777It's because she is my wife and best pony, i would recommend that you stop projecting like this anon
>>42777002Our view of Equestria has flatter colors and less detail.It may be harder for ponies to distinguish each other.Being more realistic might mean distinguishing more colors or detail. Like, imagine seeing something better than you can see anything else. Or, as someone claiming to be a tetrachromat claimed, colors normally same looking different. Or seeing in infrared in addition to color.
>>42836777Derpy wouldn't judge you for being ugly and retarded Anon. Let it all out.
>>42764551me as that anonpony. sex with scootaloo NOW
>>42837284Could do much worse than her.
>>42836257
>>42837284Scootaloo cute
>>42837842But she's a winglet.
>>42836747
>>42837919Not gonna lie, she's hot in that style.
>>42837903like you, lol
>>42836770My wife.
>>42838302Why is eating a hambone?
>>42838262That tends to happen when you're born without them.
>>42838851such is life for a mud pony
>>42764551Marriage is a dead institution.Whatever.I'm sure no mares would ever care whether I live, die, or grow mushrooms on my ass.Just like human women.
>>42824447Not that anon, but the juxtaposition of her brash outer demeanor and her soft, vulnerable, insecure side really tugs at my heart. That, combined with her core virture of loyalty makes me want to be there for her all the time, especially when she's feeling down. I want to help her achieve her dreams, and I want to see the glimmer in her eyes as she succeeds.
>>42838895>anti-love doomer back at it againHow many times must Cadance teach you this lesson, old man?
>>42838914Sex
>>42838914Probably just (you) bait. Best to ignore those that bring nothing of value to the thread.
so close to 500
