Who would you marry if you were isekai'd into Equestria?
>>42764551not that walled hagaloo
>>42764551too old
>>42764551I'd probably marry a background pony. Going for somepony just because of a parasocial relationship from watching them in a cartoon from another world feels weird.
>>42764559>>42764561Filly fooler alert
>>42764551I would be completely smitten by the first mare that would show me any kindness.
>>42764581You're going to fall in love with like 20 different mares on your first day.
I'd marry Pinkie, but I've been told that I won't be given a ticket due to my flag. ;(
>>42764596>aislop
>>42764606I thought it was funny. Let me give you some the real stuff.
>>42764551Ideally Luna, but in reality probably some background mare
>>42764551Zecora
>>42764659Zebra culture is zesty in Equestria, you may be forced to share her with the tribe or some shit like that.
>>42764551That all depends on what kind of bullshit overpowered isekai power I get.
>>42764551My wonderful wife Rainbow Dash
>>42764551when in a universe characters become real people not characters. you would fumble pursuing any of the main case because of your parasocial relationship with them prior and they'd be disturbed if you used your knowledge of them not to mention the issue you'd have establishing yourself within reach of them let alone flirting
>>42764551>Huge fan of CellyIdeally her, but that's a massive next to impossible standard. Growing close to a local mare living in whatever place I end up in is far more realistic.
>>42764551Twily, obviously.
>>42764673lol, why do you have such a shit taste?
Isekaing into Equestria is impossible. Magic isn't real. Even if it was, why would you specifically go into *Equestria* of all places?If you ever ended up in Equestria, that's already a huge heap of wish fulfillment. And unless the universe/whatever force that transported you thinks you _need_ to learn a lesson of some sort (and it won't necessarily be about avoiding parasociality or such - since one, it's not inherently bad and two, it'd probably blueball you from going to Equestria in the first place and offer something else if it were to take action) then it is not much of a stretch to say that X pony will most likely trend towards liking you back, too.Or in slightly more likely route of building CelestAI or whatever, you upload and X probably likes you back if that's really what you want in your heart of hearts.Anyway, if I were to wake up in Equestria I wouldn't really assume they'd like me - it's not right to treat people like that. It makes me very sad, but I'm sure the feelings would pass. Would just try to avoid them and become a wizard or something.I like Twilight a lot. I'm not good enough for her or most other ponies. It'd be cruel and wrong to impose myself on her, even if she somehow reciprocated. That's just how the dice came out.
>>42764681>>42764755>demoralization
>>42764551Why is scootaloo like this?
>>42764791She isn't
>>42764794proofs?
>>42764755But the universe loves you Anon!
>>42764681I'd say my character would be pleased to have such an obsessive fan.
>>42764791that’s what kids from broken homes usually grow up to act like
>>42764551Chrysalis. I can fix her.
>>42764821I know a girl who's 4'9 who had a happy childhood but watched way to much anime get her now husband like this.
>>42764755>Anon finally gets up the courage to kill himself>He hopes to disappear forever or be isekaied in equestria>He opens his eyes and finds himself in a shitty anime world he has never seen before
>>42764551Aged up Scootaloo is so much hotter than her filly form.
>>42764790Not necessarily demoralisation. My point was more that if you ever found yourself in Equestria, it's more likely they like you back. My bitching is separate.
>>42764681>Get isekai'd into Equestria pre S1>Decide to use existing knowledge to game the system >Celestia figures you out immediately and sends your ass to the fucking sun to ensure you don't interfere with her plan to turn Twilight into an Alicorn >Celestia also does some kind of mind reading shit to learn what you know and then gets a glimpse of the horror the fandom has thought up and doubles down on keeping your ass in the sun for all eternity
>>42764736>/fit/ pone who'd be a great mother laterwhat more could you possibly want?
>>42764864Fandom Celestia is a ruthless planner who has lived for eons and will do whatever it takes, real Celestia's just kind of a silly lady.
>>42764864i don't want to obstruct that. i want to go to an equestria where something like that isn't even on the table in the first place. otherwise it probably isn't the equestria i loved
>>42764551most realistic marriage would be a background pony and if none and if unicorn then I'll go gamer mode and use dark magic to end Equestria because no pony family = millions must die
>>42764875>real Celestia's just kind of a silly lady.It's a ruse
>>42764872>who'd be a great mother laterBased on what, some wish fulfillment like picrel?
I would pester the absolute shit out of Celestia every day because chances are I'd be taller than her guards.
>>42764790sorry if you feel demoralised anon, thats just how i see it. they'd be real people then not just characters, their personalities and yours might not click, you only see whats presented about them not them in every day life yknow?
>>42764919Yes we do it's a slice of life
>Get isekai'd into Equestria(Anthro because the gods are flipping a coin)>You're on the moon>Nightmare Moon is on the moon>Almost get violently raped by sexually repressed moon mare>First episode changes from Nightmare Moon breaking out and taking over Equestria into Celestia wondering what the hells is happening, only to check the moon and see Nightmare Moon dragging you to her rape chamber and she just peace's out.
>>42764944>(Anthro because the gods are flipping a coin)I'd find a moon rock and bash myself with it until I am no more.
>>42764944Anthro is not allowed on this board (rule 5)
>>42764931Slice of deez nuts
>>42764949Would you not love your waifu in Anthroquestria?
>>42764949You'll respawn because the moon is just the tutorial>>42764953You got coin flipped because they couldn't decide.
>>42764965I don't have a waifu but anthro ponies are awful, just awful.
>>42764670There is no evidence of this in the show. Zecora is the only zebra we see and has shown no intention of returning home. A secluded life in the forest sounds fun.
>>42764571>Straight white male alertYes
>>42764917the show? and no, it's a cute comic but very ooc on both ends. She never hates kids and I see her growing into a mix of her own mother and early season spitfire when she's older, not a pure housemare
>Isekai'd into Equestria>Time has been progressing normally so you land several years after the final battle>You can just live a life>If you meet the girls, you meet them, they're just normal people now>You aren't judged or hated for being human, there's uglier and weirder things than you >Twilight might take an interest in you purely because of the mirror, might let you visit or move to that world if being the only human is too lonely>The food is good
>>42764551>marryCringe. Isolate myself aka hermitmaxxing so I can be a true wizard or if unicorn then become the greatest magic wielder ever.
>>42765095based and only correct answer
>>42765080>Winding up in Equestria right before everything goes to shitGrim
>>42765112>go find Celestia and Luna on vacation>ask them if they know what Skyros is>they don't>you now spend the rest of your life peacefullyWell that was easy!
>>42765103>>42765103Absolute cringe.nomadmaxxing and steal all magic artifacts and gold from equestria with the power of my superior human gluteus maximus
>>42765146>>42765112>go ask them if they know who Faust(icorn) isFTFY
>>42765146>They don't >You leave >Both immediately start panicking because they don't know how (You) know about Skyros
>>42765156you can do both actually
>>42765177>wizard>having any musclesnice one pal
>>42765190>He doesn't know about the Life Wizard
>>42765190warrior turned wizard
>>427651900 int.
>>42765112>"Wow, lucky that green gorilla got here just in time eh twilight? That magenta alicorn was about to literally murder you? i heard they're having foals now"its the only way anon, you must rape opaline to save the future.
>>42764804I wish. I hate being like this so much. Makes me feel like a Chris Chan tier retard
>Isekai'd into Equestria>Just after nightmare moon was defeated>Try to use your knowledge of future events>All of it is wrong>The personalities of everyone is familiar, but how events play out is always different from the show.>The gala goes without issue and everyone has fun.>Chrysalis does not attack canterlot during the wedding.>Trixie does not find the alicorn amulet.>Starlight never built our town.>All the mane 6 got their cutie marks in different ways.>Even small stuff like what poison joke does or what Flim and Flam's schemes are is consistently different.
>>42765334>my equestria is infinitely replayableGreat!
>>42765250DS3 rulesget fucked
>>42765332>"my dear"Twilight does not talk like this.
>>42764875She has at least lived for a thousand moons.
>>42765364Maybe not to you.
>>42765334sounds like something wroth getting AiE'd into
>>42765334That'd be fine by me.
>>42765334>gaslit equestriasounds like fun
>>42764673This.
>>42765146>>ask them if they know what Skyros is>>they don't
>>42765334>Anon later finds out that said events did happen, but Celestia was informed of his imminent arrival and simply put in a lot of effort to hide it from him with almost comical effectiveness.>Anon suddenly feels rather silly because every instance was the result of Celestia asking him to get her a cake she likes from Trottingham
>>42765484What's so special about Trottingham cakes anyways? There's something about a special ingredient but the baker pony seems embarrassed to talk about it.
>>42765417It's an art style. Both of their wings are closer to alicorn size.
>>42764551Marriage is a scam and I don't want to go to Equestria
>>42765817How would you feel if you did not have breakfast this morning?
>>42765830I'd be hungry you pinhead. I know what a hypothetical scenario is.Magically getting teleported to a hypothetical fantasy world isn't going to change my mind about marriage and love.
>>42765852Anon's either gonna have a successful intervention, or he's gonna have to explain to Celestia why he hit Cadence with a Stone Cold Stunner
>>42765852Cadance could fix you
>>42765370Became just a little sillier with each moon
>>42766771No she couldn't. There isn't a single thing she could do that would make me believe in love.
>>42766964do you at least believe in friendship?
>>42766967
>>42765370Tamers12345 lived for 30 years
>>42766964She could, and she'd do it in under 22 minutes to leave you enough time to recite the lesson you learned on why love is real and how you shouldn’t let past bad experiences close your heart to it.
>>42766975that makes me sad anon, friendship is real
>>42765852>love is a scam>in a universe where love magic is a tangible force that btfo'd a whole armyThat doesn't add up.
>>42766988Fucking true. It's magic!
>>42766988>She couldNo. I will never fall in love. I will never trust anyone enough to let that happen. Anybody showing interest is just pretending and has an ulterior motive.Love is a lie, valentine's day is just a corporate grift, and marriage is a scam.
>>42767087Anon, the very fact that your opinion on the subject is this strong is proof that you'd be selected as the character to have his mind changed in an episode like that. If you were just of the opinion that romance wasn't for you and you're happier focusing on yourself and your interests then it wouldn't happen to you.
>>42764831If you keep your memory you could kys until reaching Equestria
>>42767092I will never change my mind. I don't care how catchy the song Daniel Ingram cooks up for the episode is, I am not falling for it.
>>42767087>be me>terminally jaded faggot>"love is a lie">"marriage is a scam">"valentine’s day is a corporate psyop">one night fall asleep shitposting about it>wake up in pastel hell>pink alicorn smiling down at me>"You look like someone who needs a little love~">ohgreatherewego.png>tell her love is fake and gay and that everyone just pretends for personal gain>she just giggles>next few days are pure emotional warfare>Cadance keeps dragging me to couples around town>shows me how they care for each other even when nopony’s watching>introduces me to ponies who’ve been together for years>an old couple who still hold hooves like teenagers>a stallion who works two jobs just to give his mare more time with their foal>a mare crying because her coltfriend surprised her with a picnic>keep telling myself it’s fake>but it’s not>they’re not acting, they’re just happy>Cadance finds me sitting alone, staring at the stars like a fag>she just smiles and sits next to me>"So, still think it’s all fake?">try to come up with a snarky reply>nothing comes out>she just smiles knowingly>my chest feels warm for the first time in forever>tears start>"Think you’re ready to admit it’s real?">"…Yeah. Maybe love’s not a scam after all.">episode ends>theme music plays>wake up and look at the clock>mfw it's somehow only been 22 minutes
>>42767121Wouldn't happen to me lmao. Cadance is gonna have to kill me if she wants me to stop.
>>42767121Alt ending>Cadance finds me sitting alone, staring at the stars like a fag>she just smiles and sits next to me>"So, still think it’s all fake?">try to come up with a snarky reply>nothing comes out>she just smiles knowingly>my chest feels warm for the first time in forever>I stand as Cadence approaches, no doubt to hug me>She just activated my trap card>The 'Love' Princesses eyes widen as she realises her folly>But it is too late
>>42767397LOL
>>42766964You won't have a choice.Unlike in this world, there, love is a real thing of great power. And humans are more susceptible to it than any creature of their world. You're going to have little hearts in your eyes all the time. You will believe in love.
>>42765262>you must rape opaline to save the future.I don't know, Opaline destroyed creaturequestria, maybe I'll wait until she's genocided the other races before raping her to calm her down
Whichever filly I wanted, and I wouldn't be a pony.
Mayor Mare please and unicorn so I can use my magic to grab her from anywhere and use her as a onahole and a filly factory.
>>42764551She would tap her hoofEach tap of hoof would echo around the empty stalls, and the taps would only hasten as she's met with silence.She would turn from carefully studying each price against each brightly-colored product, comparing the size and girth of each chocolate bar to the price.There are bars that are longer and broader than their neighbors, but sold for the same price.She would be saying something to me but I couldn't hear itMy expression wouldn't change.She said "-excuse me-. Are you listening?" I would then speak"Why is it your favorite?"She would go silent for but a moment"What?"I would tilt my head at the empty stall that we loitered."You said this food stall is your favorite. Why is it your favorite?"Her eyes would narrow"Because it sells my favorite snack, so get away from--""There is another vendor on the street below that sells the same stock.""So?"She would be annoyed now"So why would you prefer this stall in particular over another?" "All the food vendors commissioned by the nobles in Canterlot are contracted to provide the same inventory, replenished daily.""So, it doesn't matter which stall you use, you'll encounter the same things.""So, why is this stall in particular, your favorite?" I would ask once more"It... just is." she would reply quickly"I use this one all the time.""Are you sentimental towards a stall?" I would questionShe would shrug."Sure, why not."She would now be staring at the side of my face"Are you going to leave now?""Why?" I would ask again"Why?" she would repeat back to me"Why what?""Why do you keep asking me why, why won't you just go away!""Leave my stall and let me get some peanut butter slices!" she would reply terselyI would watch her for a long time, not blinking.She would squirm under your stare."You want the peanut butter slices?""Those there, in the top right, for a dollar?" I would askShe would nod.I would show her a bit in the palm of my hand.
>>42767682She would straighten up and forces a smile, hoof on her chest, projecting her best attempt at triumph under my indifferent eyes."Offering money to me?"I suppose I'll let you do me this favor--"Call it.Her hoof would hover over the coin, but wouldn't take it."What?""Call it.""Why?""To see if you get the peanut butter crackers."The street is empty. The majority of ponies went home a while ago.It would be just you and her in the long stone brick, street.Your other hand would go to your side, and the heavy hilt at your waistband would obscured by your coat."Call it."She would swallow.Maybe she would sense the danger.Maybe she would have no idea and wouldn't be used to this sort of protracted confrontation.It doesn't matter."And what happens if I don't guess it right?" she would asked warily"Call. It."She would look between you, the coin, and the stall.She would pull her hooves back beneath her against herself and her shoulders would slump.She wouldn't meet my eyes now."Tails, I, um. I-I think tails."I would flick the coin and catch it, slapping it against the back of my palm.I would peek beneath it and nod.She would watch me, frozen. I would watch her back, judging by her slight, poorly-nourished frame how fast she could run if he needed to."Well done."I would hand her the bit so that she could buy the crackers.She would take them with not a hint of triumph, she just looks a the simple blue and green packet with the little clear window showing the slices as if she hadn't wanted them after all."Savor them."She would swallow again."What were you going to do?" she asks in almost a whisper"Those slices will be the best thing you've tasted all week, savor them. I would tell her"They represent tomorrow, and all the tomorrows to follow." I would say say with a finality"What were you going to do if it wasn't..."She would eye the glint of metal hanging off your hip under your coat.I would purchase my own snack - a packet of apple slices - and leave her standing there by her favorite stall.I would think, perhaps it won't be her favorite stall anymore.Perhaps she'll have a change of heart.I would hope she won't. She and that stall are bonded, now.
>>42764551The pink one, i have a baking career to kickstart and a poni to befriend, and if possible, mare-y
>>42764875>silly ladyI LOVE MY SILLY WIFE!
>>42764551Why is she like this?
>>42767637BASED. But isn't she a little too old to be a filly factory?
>>42767589If I see heart eyes I'm flinging myself off a cliff. I will not be tricked or hexed into falling in love.
>>42768028Could find (or make) a spell to up her fertility. win win!
>>42768028no, she just dyes her mane to look it
>>42767685What the fuck is that just no country for old men? Why would you menace your pony wife?
>>42764551I could fix her
>>42764551Scoots would never do that to poor Anonstallion
>>42765443>SkyrosAlways sounds like gyros to me. Retarded name.
>>42769500Same
>>42767934I'd hate to see her after she's had far to much coffee
>>42764551>PicLucky guy.
>>42768918>Scoots would never do that to poor AnonstallionI mean she's grown up and compared to other pegasus mares her wings are undeveloped. She'll take drastic measures and since any anon from here realistically will either be a hermit or a arrogant cunt i'd say she'd take her chances and secure Anonstallion as her husband.
>>42765190>Not knowing about the muscle wizard/tg/ would like a word with you
>>42768738No.
>>42770969>secure Anonstallion as her husbandIf that's all I wouldn't even mind that so much.
>>42768738with hot sweaty sex
>>42770969How would that go?
>>42764571"Filly fooler" means "lesbian". Maybe you meant "foal fiddler" instead.
>>42773370Very thoroughly.
>>42764831>anime title: I anheroed to make the pain go away and meet my cartoon pony waifu in the next world, but instead found myself in a generic anime isekai full of anime 3D girls that want to ruin me for my waifu?!'IATMTPGAAMMCPWITNW,BIFMIAGAIFOA3DGTWTRMFMW?!', or 'No Pony Waifu Laifu' for short, will be the next hot anime this year.
>get job at appul farm to make money and get in shape, maybe agree to work for food and shelter>get introduced to your boss's friend group>put the moves on your waifu>study magic under purple smart >fitlitmaxxed exotic creature with a weird awareness of future events and doesn't need an entire episode to solve trivial issues>bang your waifu and if you want, use magic to learn a way to have kids
>>42774099A man with a plan.
>>42774099>move deep into a creepy forest >surround yourself with magical artifacts and ancient tomes>become somewhat of a local legend>hermitmaxxed exotic creature with a weird awareness of future events, yet wishes not to deal with ponies and their trivial issues>zap lighting at particularly mischievous ponies who keep fucking with your alchemy ingredient garden>ignore Cadance's attempts at getting you to fall in loveMuch better
>>42774522>Cadence proceeds to challenge Anon to an honourable duel of swords after being embarrassed multiple times>Anon's response
