>>42783116
>"We can't stop here, Dash. This is batpony country."

>>42783116
I quite like RGRE when done correctly. It just saddens me that most people like it cause it’s their fetish.

>>42783169
What stories do you think are the best showcase of RGRE has to offer without going hard on the horni?

>>42783116
>Thread Question
When they find me my pelvis will be shattered and I'll have bruises all over my body, but I'll remember that night fondly

>>42783176
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/501001/the-long-and-short-of-it
I like this one. But there are other examples.
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/699222/SNAFU-Non/stories
This one is also nice. But pretty much any fanfic where the anonymous isnt a total loser who can’t stand up for himself is good.

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>>42783116
Reposting RGRE Dragonlands for the thread
>>42762260
https://ponepaste.org/11524

>>42783204
I think thats just reversed Genders.

>>42783157
Even Pegasi fear batpony swooping.

>>42783116
any updates on Sunburstanon and SQA-non's greens?

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>>42783116
>"excuse me i got the same toy, i wanted anonymous and synonymous."

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>>42783606
I asked Sunburstanon and he just told me "it'll be out when it's out" and then he ran at the screen

>>42783861
There's probably a treasure trove of autistic mare videos and wannabe channel awesome sperms on the rgrenet

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I'm sick and tired of performative mares that pretend to be into guy stuff when they just want some dick

>>42784124
What, you don't like your mare dressing up as your favorite character and teasing her about it?

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>>42784124
And I'm sick of stallions having rights

>>42784124
You don't need to post this horseshit.

>>42784518
Does Anon even have rights?

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>>42784878
I fucking hope not.

>>42784944
He never went to school either, so he wouldn't know better.

>>42785045
>Tall
>Virgin
>Autistic
>Hasn't been indoctrinated with stallion's rights manure
Literally the perfect colt

I have one more day of weekend. One more day to lock in and begin Anon's nightcrawler arc

>>42785061
I dunno. Anon comes from a world where the stallions are in charge? He's probably a lost cause.

>>42785061
>wears socks
>"""virgin"""
Riiiiiiiight

>>42785409
Maybe he thinks they're cute.

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>>42785915
I have the perfect mare for you

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>>42785398
>stallions are in charge of Earth
lol, lmao even

>>42786304
Least fertile Apple family mare.

>>42783204
I will defy the laws of time and space to impregnate these dragon twinks

>>42786833
That would be season 9 Applejack, the dyke.

>>42784944
>Cheerilee has been so sexually repressed by her job and her remarkably unlucky personal life that she doesn't believe that any 'normal' colt is going to like her.
>She wishes in her daydreams to have a helpless alien monkey bereft of any rights so that it would never leave her.
>Instead, she gets a very handsy Anon with a huuuge teacher fetish.

>>42787281
>>Cheerilee has been so sexually repressed by her job and her remarkably unlucky personal life that she doesn't believe that any 'normal' colt is going to like her.
i feel personally attacked

>>42786816
>Tiwlight daki
gayyyyyyyyy

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>Oh, you gals think your human husbands are all roses n' hoof rubs, do ya?
>Not once they get indoctrinated by Caramel..
>Shit you not, DO NOT let them talk to him, he's going to poison their simple little minds with minotaur shit like 'careers' and 'independence'.
>Tighten that leash a little..they like it.

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<--- just saw a stallion fall down the stairs in the castle

>>42787884
What he gets for STRUTTING around in those platform horseshoes like a SLUT

>>42787962
>platform horseshoes
imagine the shitty fashion options ponies can have
i can totally envision rarara commiserating with designer!anon over bad earth and pony fashion

>>42787884
The little things that make her smile.

ahem

>>42788353
Yes, anonymous?

>>42787570
Do something about Caramel.

>>42787981
>Anon tells Rarity about assless chaps, expecting her to hate them
>She cums

As promised

>”I thought you said you weren’t afraid of heights?”
>And you, Anonymous, aren’t.
>You’re just having perfectly natural reservations about stepping off this wonderful airship made of wood onto a platform made of water vapor.
>For the third time, you check the talisman around your neck.
>Yep, still there.
“Just, give me a moment, okay?”
>You can hear Pike’s exasperated sigh from behind you, and you can’t blame her.
>In the back of your mind, you know she’d already given you plenty of minutes.
>Twenty, in fact.
>”You leave me no choice, Anon.”
>Her solemn tone spikes your already high anxiety.
“What—”
>Your question is cut off as it hits you.
>Or, to be more accurate, SHE hits you.
>With a swing of her mighty bat wing, she spanks you clean on the ass.
>You yelp as your horse reflexes take over, sprinting full speed off the ship and onto Cloudsdale station.
>The rush only carries you a few feet, but that’s more than enough.
>A small canter for man, and nothing really for mankind.
>But you’ve left the ground behind in a way no human could ever dream of.
>You’re standing on a /cloud/.
>And your first thoughts on the matter?
>Silken was right, this IS comfortable! Cushioned enough to be nice on the hooves without feeling like you're walking on a mattress.
>Aw damn, you can’t let yourself get distracted here!
>Pike just smacked you on the ass, /in public/. Are you really going to let that go unchallenged?
>Looking back over your shoulder, you hope you’re not still blushing.
You try to sound cool, husky even, “Oh? In public? Kinky.”
>Pike snorts at your unconvincing delivery.
>”Oh yeah. Could you imagine if Cut was here to see that?”
>You laugh at the mental image.
>...You wish she were here, too.
>She’d at least been able to see the two of you off at the station, and you got to listen to her nerd out about airships a little.
>”I was really into them when I was a little filly,” she’d said. “I still remember a bunch of the facts!” Then she got all cutely self-conscious, “T-too many of the facts, really.”
>You replied that you thought it was cute, and when she bashfully brushed that off, you upgraded it to “sexy.”

>>42789077
>She had to have known you were pulling her leg, but she was still so hot and bothered that she almost tripped over her own hooves as she walked away.
>So yeah, if she saw Pike smack your ass in broad daylight, you’d bet her reaction would be...
“Heart attack. She’d have a heart attack.”
>Pike laughed as she joined you on the foreign surface.
>Her own cloudwalking talisman blazed to life as she took in the sights around you with wonder.
>”It's crazy but... I don’t think I’ve been back here since my family went to a Wonderbolts show when I was a filly. It's actually bigger than I remember.”
“Sure, you haven’t just gotten smaller?”
>She looks up at you, unamused.
>”Oh ha ha. See up there?”
>She points to a distant district, further up the vertically inclined city.
>Goddamn! It's got a whole waterfall of rainbows coming out of it!
>”That’s all new. The weather business must be booming.”
>You laugh to yourself, what a sublime scam that’d be back on Earth.
>Selling the weather! Yeah, you’d bet that business would boom.
>A familiar smirk starts to play on her lips as her eyes jump from building to building.
>”Say, did I ever tell you why Pegasi like columns so much?”
>/Like/ is an understatement.
>You’d presumed the decor of that bathhouse you went to was unique, but apparently, Greek pastiche is Pegasi chic.
>Columns, columns everywhere.
>You’ve lived in Equestria long enough that you already have a pretty solid guess at where this is going, but you wouldn’t /dream/ of denying Pike the satisfaction of revealing it herself.
“Why’s that, Pike?”
>Her smile grows.
>”Two words: phallic symbol.”
>You laugh so hard that you snort.
>Yep, that's what you expected, but the mental image of Cloudsdale’s founders eagerly building giant dicks on every property is no less amusing.
“You really think so?” you ask, only half joking.
>She made a face like she was deep in thought, but you can tell she’s not.
>”Most historians agree they were compensating for something, and as a /learned/ pony myself, I concur."
>Seesh, if she wasn’t hamming it up so much, you might’ve bought this.
>It is funny that this so-called “phallic” architecture has managed to persist despite the gender pecking order being flipped.

>>42789082
>You never really gave a shit about the context for it back on Earth, but here...
“A whole town? What could they have been compensating for?”
>”A /terminal/ lack of dick.”
>You laugh again, this time hard enough that it draws a few stares.
>The abject desperation on display in that locker room you bumbled into comes to mind.
“No wonder this is the Wonderbolt’s hometown.”
>As soon as you mention them, you spot your first destination: Cloudsdale Arena, home of the ‘Bolts.
>The humongous structure dominates the right side of the city, just as fluffy and colosseum-like as it had been when it’d drifted over to Canterlot.
>But the arena itself isn’t what’s got you interested this time.
>The Wonderbolts might be a flight troupe, but a lot of ponies still treated their shows like sporting events.
>And while they might not have cars and trucks, Pegasi still found a way to reinvent the time-honored tradition of tailgating.
>After all, what’s the point of a house that can move if you never move it?
>You can see them now: clusters of floating cloudhouses, and the ragers they hold spilling out into the space between them.
>Jackpot! You had no idea what was going on at the stadium today, but whatever it was, it couldn’t have come at a better time.
>You set off immediately, not wanting this opportunity to slip through your lack of fingers.
>Pike’s hot on your trail, of course, struggling to keep up thanks to your substantially larger gait.
>”Woah, hey! Where are you going?”
>Without breaking your stride, you point towards the houses.
>Look how good you’ve gotten at being a quadruped.
“There. If we hurry, we can get there before any of the fanatics clear out.”
>Eventually Pike gives up cantering after you and takes wing instead, drifting along beside you.
>”And why would we want to do that? Wouldn’t you rather see some sights or something?”
>That /had/ been the plan... but you can’t forget why you’re here.
“And miss this chance? No way /junior/ investigator Pike!”
>”What!?” she cries, evidently chuffed. “Who’re you calling JUNIOR investigator?”
“You! I’m the experienced journalist here, so I’m deputizing you as my junior investigator.”
>She rolls her eyes. The fact that she can keep flying straight as she does never fails to impress you.

>>42789085
>”Anon, you know as a member of the guard I’m a /trained/ investigator, right?”
>Now you’re the one chuffed.
“Of course I knew that! But your investigations /help/ people. Journalist investigations are for /ruining lives/, it's a totally different process!”
>For a moment, earnest concern breaks through the joking atmosphere.
>”You don’t... actually feel that way about your job, do you?”
>Before you can answer that question, you reach the tailgate party.
>And realize a small, possibly infinitesimally small, flaw in your plan.
>The houses are floating in the air.
>And you can’t fly.
“Saaaaaay, hon. How would you feel about doing the marehandling for once?”
>A familiar fanged grin takes shape.
>”Anon, are you asking me to /swoop/ you?”


>Anon owes you for this.
>You /can/ do it, of course, your wing strength is unmatched.
>And you’ve always wanted to live out the bat pony fantasy of swooping down and carrying him away into the night.
>But he’s still one BIG unicorn, and you’re but one little mare.
>”Set me down right there,” he says, gesturing to a house where the party is the thickest.
>Thank Luna, it’s close.
>You tighten your grip around his barrel for the final descent.
>It ought to be sexy, being on his back like this.
>No such luck for you.
>Thankfully, before too much longer, his hooves touch down on somepony’s front lawn, and you’re free to let him go.
>And let loose your own sigh of relief as well.
>Then, you recall something.
“Hey, can’t you teleport!?”
>He casts a side eye across the considerable space between here and the streets below.
>”Would you really have trusted me to get us up here in one piece? Because I wouldn’t.”
>Hm, you suppose not.
“So what are we doing up here anyway?”
>He looks the building up and down, sizing up the party.

>>42789086
>”Inside there are probably two dozen ponies with an encyclopedic knowledge of the Wonderbolts that rivals Cut’s knowledge of manga. We just need to find them and grill them for everything they know about Wind Rider’s tenure.”
>Not exactly how you wanted to spend the day, but it seems easy enough.
>Anon’s never been big on parties like these, twenty minutes and he’ll probably be begging you to get him out of here.
>Then you can try to get his mind off this “epic revenge quest.”
>”I’ll try talking to the unenthused husbands, you go for the mares. Play to each of our strengths.”
>Again, it seems easy enough.
>But for a reason you can’t place, you’re starting to feel some sort of dread building inside you.
>Like you really, REALLY shouldn’t go in there.
>”Let’s meet back out here in say... two hours? Unless we find each other before.”
“Anon I’m—”
>”AAAAnd break!” he cries, rushing off into the fray.
>Even being nearly a head taller than most of the other ponies in attendance, he still vanishes into the crowd just moments after entering it.
>Great.
>You suppose that leaves you with only one option: heading in yourself.
>With a deep breath to suppress the growing unease you have at this plan, you put one hoof in front of the other and step into the house.
>You’ve been to one or two Pegasus tailgates before.
>They’re loud, crowded, and with a healthy mix of middle-aged married mares and young bachelorettes.
>All united by their love of drinking and watching other ponies work MUCH harder than them.
>This one is no different.
> It's a whole family-sized house they’ve dragged over here, and now it's filled with so many Pegasi that it's become standing room only.
>No, not even. Standing room implies you’re not running the risk of having a drifter accidentally kick your face in by standing here.
>Well, a pony of average height would be running that risk. For once, your stature is a boon.
>It makes it especially easy to move through the party, slipping between ponies like it's nothing.
>A little ways in, you start to wonder why you were feeling so worried.
>This is your element! You can feel the energy of the party charging you up.
>On the far side of the room, there’s a group of mares playing cider pong, and that familiar arena is calling your name.

>>42789089
>Pulling up in short order, you call out.
“I’ve got next!”
>”Great timing,” says an obvious bachelorette in a backwards baseball cap. “Cloud was just looking for a new partner.”
>The mare in question, a blue pegasus, nods her head in greeting as you take your place at her side, “My old partner’s stuck paying the troll toll.”
>You peek under the table, and sure enough, there’s a miserable-looking yellow pegasus under there nursing her drink.
>”Uh, hi,” she says.
>You lift your gaze back above the table without acknowledging her, as is custom.
“So we’re playing Appleloosan rules?”
>”Yep,” says the mare in the hat. “It’s the one thing those Earth ponies got right.”
>”Preach,” says her partner.
>And thank Luna for that, Cloudsdale rules take FOREVER.
>Whoever decided to legalize interference via air currents was a madmare.
>The mare in the hat points to herself, “Squall.” And to her partner, “Yaw.”
>You likewise answer in kind.
“Pike.”
>And like that, the game’s begun.


>Fighting your way through the mass of ponies, you eventually make it to the second floor.
>You’re honestly surprised the party’s allowed to go this deep into the house.
>You could never host something like this!
>THIS many strangers having open access to your entire living place?
>You’d spend the whole party bugging out of your mind.
>You still might, considering the amount of feathers you’ve felt “accidentally” brush your sack.
>They’re at least soft, but that isn’t much of a comfort.
>This whole thing is blurring the lines between “frat party” and “tailgate”, and you are /painfully/ aware how unsafe you are at the former.
>No less than three mares have tried handing you a drink, and you’ve dumped them out each time.
>The first one started sizzling as it hit the cloud floor, so you have NO desire to put anything you acquire here into your body.
>But it's still a tailgate, there’s gotta be SOME bored husbands here with their wives who just want to grill!
>Where are they hiding!?

>>42789091
>”Anon!? Anon, is that you?” a voice shouts over the near-deafening sounds of partying.
>Surprisingly, you recognize it, though you can’t recall from where.
>”A-Anon! Over here!”
>Finally, you pin down the source.
>Off the foyer that takes up most of the second floor, is a small rec room.
>In the corner of that room, obviously uncomfortable with the party, is a familiar peach pegasus.
“Well if it ain’t my eyes and ears! Seashell!” you shout, trotting over the crowd towards her.
>She blushes at the nickname you gave her.
>”That’s me!” she says awkwardly.
>You give her a genuine smile back.
>Face to face with one of your best sources, what are the odds?
“I haven’t seen you since... since I broke into Canterlot castle!”
>Jeez, has it really been that long?
>Feels like that was ages ago!
>”Oh yeah! Thanks for that shoutout you gave me in the article. And all those hoofpics...”
Your smile turns brittle. “Don’t mention it!”
>Really, you hope she doesn’t mention it.
>After Pike told you hoof fetishists actually exist in Equestria, trading hoofpics for information doesn’t seem as sweet a deal as it once did.
>You’ll still DO it, of course, but you don’t like to think about it.
“Say, do you think you could help me with something again?”
>Her eyes shine.
>”Of course, m’lord! Name it!”
“This party’s nice and all, but I think I’m looking for a little guy time. Know where all the stallions are at?”
>She laughs, “I always do!”
>It takes you a moment to process what she actually said.
“Uh—”
>And mere moments later, she realizes just what she said as well.
>”That- that came out wrong! I meant I just happen to at this specific moment. Yes!”
>You wisely decide not to dwell on it.
“Lead the way.”


“Bat in the belfry.”
>Oh yeah, you are HOT!
>That’s your third cup in a row.
>Squall curses under her breath, quickly downing the cup’s contents, “Of course, the bat would land that.”
>You puff out your chestfluff in a show of tribal pride.
>This really is your element.

>>42789093
>Cloud nods appreciatively, lining up her own shot.
>”So what brings a bat like you up here?” asks Yaw. “Figured you thincoats would find the altitude too chilly this time of year.”
>It is bucking freezing, but you’re not gonna let her know that.
“My coltfriend wanted to see the ‘bolts,” you half lied. “He’s keeping me nice and warm if you catch my drift.”
>The others laugh along.
>This feels so familiar, almost weirdly so.
>This social climate, these interactions, it's just like how hanging out with your squad was before you met Anon.
>Between this and taking command at the market, maybe you were worried about nothing.
>Maybe you haven’t changed that much.
>”Must be nice,” says Yaw, “Getting some dick AND getting to eye all those packages on the side.”
>Woah wait, hold on—
>”Yeah, did you see Soarin’s flightsuit? They must have stuck him in one a size too small. I could practically see the veins,” Cloud adds.
>Yaw shakes her head. “My eyes were on that new Thunderlane guy. You hear he’s a virgin?”
>Squall laughs, “A virgin? Did you see the socks he was wearing in that playpony shoot? As-if!”
>Luna, you have changed.
>This is vile! You can’t believe you used to talk about stallions like this!
>Oh no, they’re all looking at you!
>Anon’s counting on you for information, you can’t tell them to just buck off!
>What would the old you say?
”Silver Lining’s pretty hot.”
>A general murmur of affirmation passes between the group, and Squall and Yaw prep their shots.
>The conversation, and the game, continue from there.
>However, you’re finding it far harder to stay invested in either.
>You understand why you didn’t want to come here now.
>This is your realm of the old you.
>The you who felt like she had to be as marecho as possible every moment.
>The you who feels more forced every second you spend in this place.
>The game is thankfully nearing its end, and your interest in staying here along with it.
>But you ought not to leave here totally empty hoofed.
>Sensing a perfect opportunity to steer the conversation, you strike.
“What about that Wind Rider guy? He seemed like he’d be a catch back in the day.”
>Squall tosses a shot that lands in a lone cup to the side.

>>42789095
>”Buffalo Trace,” she calls, and you dump the cup’s contents on your head, as is custom.
>”Nah,” says Yaw. “He was crazy even back then.”
“Oh really?”
>Cloud buts in, “Really. Between the second and seventh years of his tenure, he filed one hundred and seventy-five separate complaints. Even tried to get a few mares kicked off the team.”
>Anon mentioned something like that!
>He also mentioned none of the details were expunged from the record.
“What about? Do you know?”
>”The manure stallions always complain about,” says Yaw as she makes her shot. “Sexual misconduct, sexual harassment, he even claimed one of his wingmares threatened to clip his primaries.”
>”All unsubstantiated, of course. Crazy bastard,” adds Squall. “That’s why none of them ever went anywhere.”
>You recall all the various office encounters Anon has vented to you about, and his own encounter with the Wonderbolts.
>You’d bet your fangs most of those complaints were true then.
>And the thing about his primaries?
>Luna... that’s just awful.
>You shoot the ball, and just barely nail a cup.
>There’s a solid chance there was a callout for it, but you don’t even bother.
“Why’d he stop after the seventh year?”
>Squall scoffs, “Finally realized that trying to step on his wingmares wasn’t going to make his career. He did some of his best flying after that, even set that record that ended up getting him discharged.”
>Cloud takes a shot, and you realize it's already your turn again.
>”Why’d anypony pretend to be surprised that happened again?” asked Cloud. “Everypony knew he was just a misogynist.”
>You sink the last cup.
>The others all say what a good game that was, and invite you to play again.
>You decline, you don’t really have the stomach for it.
>In a daze, you exit the party.
>You suppose you got exactly what Anon wanted, a solid lead to follow up on.
>But what a horrible realization to have.
>If your mom had been here, she’d have been right there agreeing with those mares.
>Heck, you would have too just a few years ago.

>>42789102
>And that same attitude is what let all that happen in the first place!
>Just what have you been enabling all these ye—
>The sound of breaking glass equally shatters your thoughts.
>There, flying out of the window, is Anon.
>You shriek as he falls, and rush to catch him.
>But you're not fast enough.
>Instead, he hits the ground /hard/ and... bounces.
>Oh right, this is all cloud.
>He awkwardly rights himself in the air and lands on his hooves.
>As you run up to him, you’re only barely able to stop yourself from socking him for scaring you like that.
“ANON!? What the heck did you do that for?!”
>”Pike!” he says, eyes wild. “This was a total bust! We’ve got to get the hell out of here!”
>A distant voice cries from the shattered window, “M’lord? M’lord, where did you go?”
>He doesn’t comment on it.
>”All these stallions want to do is /fangirl/ about the flyers, they don’t know a damn thing about ‘em!”
>He leans in close, whispering as if somepony might hear.
>”They kept asking me which mare I thought I’d have “the most beautiful foals” with. Who the fuck does that!? Please tell me you at least found something.”
>The voice calls from the window again, and his head shoots up.
>”But tell me later. We need to get— you know what? Fuck it. I’m teleporting us.”
>Your mind struggles to catch up with all the information being dumped on you.
>Then, his last words finally clicked.
>His earlier warning shoots to the front of your mind, giving your stomach just enough time to drop into your hooves as his horn lights up.
“Wait Ano—!”


And that's all for tonight! Sorry about the wait on that one. As always you can begin here https://ponepaste.org/158

>Reverse Gender Roles Equestria
>Many iterations of RGRE also reverse general interests of the genders
>Somewhere out there is an RGRE iteration that is mostly populated by tomcolts and femcolts
What do you think of this anons? Would you go that version of Equestria?

>>42789104
o shit nigga!
welcome back!

>>42789154
Good to be back!

>>42789077
I've finally actually started this on fimf, only ch12 tho

>>42789104
Casual mare conversation with good ol sexism and racism. Makes it all flavorful. I bet Seashell has hoof prints of all the stallion Bolts.

>>42789059
>assless chaps
All chaps are "assless". Chaps are pant legs (overpants?) attached to a belt. They protect your legs when riding.

She probably already knows about them. They have saddles. (Did anypony ever wear high heels in the show? I can't recall.)

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>>42789104
It's good to have you back.

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>>42787962
>>42787981
>This is what I was wearing when I was booped
>Go ahead tell me I wanted it.

>>42790223
Whore

>>42790173
She is very frustrated.

>>42787570
>>Tighten that leash a little..they like it.
Unf, I love dominant mares. Subjugate me, mommy.

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>>42787570
Caramel doesn't like anons because it takes so little to make them happy
The same reason why mares make modern foids seethe
Femanons are a different breed, they're cool and like mares
I think Thunderlane is of the same variety to be a bro in RGRE

>>42790619
>Femaons are cool.
Is 11/11 some kind of second April fool's I'm not aware of

>>42787570
Humans love being leashed up nice and tight. Mine really likes it when you tug on the leash

>>42783874
And we like that

>>42783606
Has sunburstanon posted since the summer? I haven't checked these threads since i assumed he was never coming back

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>tfw that dumb monkey slut walks into the library

>>42791095
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/42648614/#42649991

That was the last we heard from him. His other posts indicated his life was hectic.

>>42791529
Hey, I'm trying to learn magic too. I can't use it, but fuck it's cool.

>>42791529
>mares look at me just like rl women
T-Too immersive..

>>42792442
For different reasons.

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>>42792061
Maybe try picking up a cookbook instead.

>>42793018
Only if you try picking up some soap

>>42793221
Every neet mare shall be scrubbed clean by my hand

>>42793018
Hell no. You horses use hay in everything.

>>42793018
>How to Serve Man
>A Mare's Guide to Human Dietary Needs

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>>42783116
Captcha dropped a trvthnvke

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>>42790456
I'd love to be subjugated by Daisy...

>>42793769
Reversed genders? I guess that shit is pretty lame.

>>42793778
Would a mare subjugate more than one human?

>>42793935
Rule 63 is just troonshit-lite.
Change my mind.

>>42794300
R63 can be fun when done correctly
unfortunately 99% of the time it's just for porn

>>42783169
i just think the 50´s america levels of sexism against stalions sub-setting of RGRE is incredibly funny, especially if anon shows up and starts bitching about stalions too

>>42794474
It's always funny when something waist height is telling you off.

>>42793763
No hay. Maybe some flowers. In fact, just make him make his own sandwich with yours.

>>42795261
I was surprised how many flowers are edible.
https://www.ruralsprout.com/edible-flowers/ (that's just one quick result from a googling)

>>42795287
artichoke i think is the most eaten flower by humans
in any case there's a good deal of tea that can be made from flowers

>>42795300
Although I can't find them often, I eat dried hibiscus.

>>42794879
>you make a game out of seeing how long it takes for her rant to slowly die off as you mesmerize her with your dick

>>42795889
>there are three levels to the game
>level one, you simply stand there, doing nothing to draw attention
>if they're able to keep eye contact long enough, you go to level two, where you slightly adjust your stance so you lean back and your crotch is more prominent
>if they survive that, it's level three, where you straight up boop there muzzle with your crotch
>no mare has made it past level one

>>42789104
Amazing work, I very much appreciate your horse words. Thank you.

One week from now will be 10 years since Cuddle Wings was first mentioned. What are you going to get her for the anniversary?

>>42796051
My eyes are up here miss.

>>42795300
Ponies eat oats. Humans make beer.

Fast board today.

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>"Anon I just read online that the reason I can't find a coltfriend is because I'm a sub 8 chudmaxxed beta marecel."
>"That's not true, is it?"

>>42797310

>>42796319
When? November 20th?

>>42797472
Yes.

>>42797310
Between the four alicorns you might be the least attractive. Really stiff competition with that small pool size. Still better than 80% of the propulsion by default.

>>42797310
>famous last words before conception

>>42797959
How do they boop Anon?

>>42797959
>None of them are married...

>>42798134
They get Anon to pick them up so they can reach. Spitfire's a lazy asshole so even she makes him do it.

>>42797959
>make sand my wich

>>42797959
>Professional professional
Always funny

>>42798147
That's just asking him to boop them. Defeats the purpose.

>>42798461
>ywn serve your horsewife breakfast in bed, give her a loving peck on the lips, and whisper in her ear: omlette du fromage

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All the fillies look at you like this when you turn around to write on the chalkboard

>>42799525
Can't really wear a dress, that would make you a fag. What is the better alternative so little fillies won't sin with their eyes?

>>42799742
Wear a wedding ring so they instantly get sent to pony hell for lusting after a married monkey colt thing.

>>42799831
These modern mares don't care. They want to cuck each other for superiority.

>>42800250
The rules are surprisingly similar to croquet.

>>42800250
aside from the obvious, the idea of being competed over and totally insulated from the pain it may cause is incredibly alluring

>>42800726
I'm sure it's a little weird when it is a schoolyard scenario.

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>>42799525
>the italian when she realizes there's an entire new field of shipping to drag you into

>>42801208
You're a terrible pony.

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a mare tried to seduce me today, and she didn´t take no for an answer, i had to run away.
she sniffed my croth and then started to and kept backing up into me with her tail flagged over and over again, i only wanted to give her ear scritches, was i asking for it by scratching her?

this actually fucking happened today, the pony almost broke the fucking fence down, the way she was pushing her backside into it XD

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>>42801589
You were asking for it by being male. Fucking slut.

>>42801589
She saw you as a compatible partner.

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>>42801589

>Applejack cutting your hay-tendies for you like you're a foal

>>42802214
To be fair, colts never mentally advance past foal level.

>>42801592
>>42801941
cheerilee will forever be a eternal marecel, even if she kidnaps little colts, fate will make her never have sex and screech at more successful mares. many such cases

>>42802221
The mare that used to be a cheerleading Stacy now a marecel? I don’t believe that.

>>42802214
God, I'd become such a little bitch from all the mare pampering. And even worse, I'd love it and be the most obedient little househusband

>>42801589
Crotch-sniffer mare started gagging and threw up because of me
I wash I swear! I don't know why my dih stank.

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>Be Anon in Ponyville
>There's a knocking on your door in the middle of the night
>Put on your slippers and head downstairs in your nightcap and matching pajamas, carrying a lit candle to go investigate the noise
>Open your door, there's a baby pony on your doorstep
>Bring it in, guess you're a dad now
>Kind of always wanted to be a dad...

>Be Caramel
>Skeevy mare you banged ditched a newborn at your house and skipped town
>Don't need a foal making it hard to date casually
>Idea! You can leave the foal at that monkey's house on the edge of town
>They're carnivores or something, he'll eat the foal and you won't have to deal with it!

>>42803100
>nightcap and matching pajamas, carrying a lit candle
Shocked that a rapping at his chamber door woke him if he was snoozing that drippy

I want to walk to mares and call them Mommy just to see their reactions.

>>42803100
>Caramel abandoning a foal
>Caramel willfully putting a foal into what he believes is a dangerous situation
That's a changeling. Actually, Caramel fucking a mare, much less having a foal with her, before they're hitched should've already been a dead giveaway.

>>42803162
The real Caramel would sue for foal support

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>>42803100
>Caramel invents some highly convenient explanations for how foals can just up and disappear on you

>>42803685
Anon might as well start up an orphanage.

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>>42803685
kek

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>"And so on the sixth day Faust created Mare

>>42803100
So who's gonna be the mom that steps up?

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>>42804792
You ask that like it's not obvious

>>42804571
Anon wonders if this was a mistake.

>>42804814
>sired by Caramel
>raised by Anonymous and Starlight Glimmer
Poor kid doesn't stand a chance.

>>42805189
Turns out it was a potato with googly eyes on it. Caramel is still isn't sure that Anon realizes it, or just screwing around.

>>42803939
>Anon eventually finds himself becoming the steward of Ponyville's orphanage
>in time, the residents start calling it The School of Hard Knocks
>it's because every time there's a new bundle on the doorstep, somehow Anon always figures out whoever thought they were being sly and beats them with a hickory stick after taking the foal in
>out of wedlock pregnancies plummet; Celestia and Luna hold up Ponyville as a model community for the rest of the nation

Just watched Anon give a mare ear scratches after she helped him carry his groceries to his home.
Why is he such a slut? Why can't I have ear scratches?

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>>42804814
ew

>>42805891
He gives out scratches freely. Might have an FTD.

>>42805886

>Anon doesn't fuck around
>he tells the orphaned foal that their parents were deadbeats
>he tells them by name because he knows who dropped them, CARAMEL
>from the beginning anon always teaches the foals life skills but is never cruel
>when things are slow he always shows his cuddly side and isn't afraid to pick up the cute foals and just carry them around
>those who've grown up miss anon's uppies sometimes as nopony is tall enough

>>42807751
Not very rgre but that's current year rgre for ya.

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>>42807778
There now stop whining faggot

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>>42807778
fixed

>>42807751
>>42807796
damn, both of these are awesome

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>>42807824

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>>42807824
not today

>>42807796
Man, Anon is both of those things.

>>42807751
>Plot Twist: Because she sees his dreams, she knows Anon has a thing for browbeating and humiliation.

>>42807824
>Luna is pissed at Anon.
>He smiles cruelly at her.
>She wants to refuse.
>Wants, neigh, needs him to break the silence first.
>Make him bow to her superiority.
>Anon remains silent, and crosses his arms.
>There is nothing you can do.
>You went into his dream to confirm that all stallions were alike.
>Foalish, idiotic, and should not be allowed any form of authority.
>Instead you fell for a trap.
>In his dreams, he had a trap ready for you.
>Now, you have to admit what you saw.
>You lost.
>"The game."
"Gotcha didn't I?"
>You lunge for him.

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>>42808396
you fucking double nigger

>>42804571
>And so in the begining, /mlp/ was created
>This made a lot of ponies and people very angry and has been widely regarded as a "Bad move"

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>>42807134
Sassy is so STRONG...

>>42808505
Wow I didn't know ponies knew about the board.

>>42807824
-_-

>>42807824
:c

>>42807824
fuck you

>>42808523
Not strong enough to tame Caramel though

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>>42804814

>up

>>42809628

>>42809615
Never a commie.

>>42808524
They do, but they don't visit. Take poor Sassy above you for example. She would feel bad if we called her a colt beater.

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Does anyone have tbe green for this image? Something about her taking Anon to a dragon restaurant

>herd with Rainbow and Twilight
>plap Dashie 24/7
>Twilight takes the "thinking mare"'s chair to observe human sexuality
wat do with purplesmart

>>42810552
Sassy can beat me anytime.

>>42811142
Ask rainbow to tag in twilight.

>>42810832
The waiter asks if you want to kill your dinner.

>>42811288
Double team.

>>42811142
Switch positions with Twilight.

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Ran into three of those fucking rockskins today. They thought they could just walk up and ask a man out. Can you believe that? I called them exactly what they were. Filthy, cold-hearted rockskins. Not even leatherwings are so bold as to accost a man in broad daylight. And after dinner tonight they'll never forget it.

>>42812661
Yes, fuck your horse tax racket.

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>>42812661
>taxation
>without representation
does celestia want tea thrown into the harbor? because that's how she gets tea thrown into the harbor

>>42812763
Throw the cake as well.

>>42796319
It has now been 10 years since Cuddle Wings.

>>42812763
Jane Hoofcunt did nothing wrong.

>>42813055
She wrote her name real big because she knows Celestia is barely literate.

>>42812661
oh, you mean "get a wife"? yeah already did that, talk to her

>>42813078
She'll get Twilight to read it for her.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/584804/margins-of-magic

What happened to this.

>>42813737
it's not just that there seems to be a purge going on

>>42813739
Wait what?

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>>42812533
Sex with crystal mares.

>>42813737
>not on fim nor foalfetch
>nothing on archivetoday
>webback machine is down so can't check it

>>42814025
I remember checking it two days ago.

>>42783116
>We had two bags of licorice, seventy-five pellets of M&M’s, five sheets of high-sugar saltwater taffy, a salt shaker half full of pixie stick powder, and a whole galaxy of multicolored gummies, chewies, fudgies, tarts... and also a quart of kool-aid, a quart of root beer, a case of orange soda, a pint of raw corn syrup, and two dozen jaw-breakers.
>Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious candy collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

>Day forgot the date in Equestria
>Be the almighty Celestia, devourer of kingdoms.
>Oh so many "kings" gave up dem libenraums to this sunny flank.
>Today is the meeting with the alien ambassador Spark or something.
>He's from this weird place that is up in space.
>What lunatic would do that, even Luna has the sense to live on Worldia and those goddam gangly things that look like somepony didn't read ANY of the warning labels on their potions while they were having foals.
>So Spark and his best friend Kurt are supposed to be arriving soon.
>Kurt is yet another kind of BUCKING ALIEN who is from yet another crazy place that orbits a star of all things.
>BuildAWall.tapestry
>Phone rings.
>One of the inventions you stole from mutant-biped-school-world
>No, not the one sitting on the hoof mirror to hook up to other worlds, the one with the cable tied to the flagpole for talking to the sky.
>Pick up the talker-majig.
"Moshi moshi Celestia desu"
>"Princess Celestia, this is Ambassador Spock, I have arrived and can beam down to meet you in person."
"It's lovely to hear from you again Ambassador. You're welcome to come inside.
>Come inside this flank morelike amirite
"Understood, Kirk and I will beam down shortly. Spock out."
>He's totally into you, gonna score some ayylmao dick tonight.
>About half a minute later the air shimmers and sparkles with space-magic of their teleport.
>Two tall male bipeds in very covering clothing are now in your throne room.
"Welcome to Equestria, Ambassador Spock. It's a pleasure to meet you and your friend face to face."
>"Indeed."~~ blah blah blah blah...
>Stallions talking, kind of stopped listening. Though it's kind of like that with most ambassadors anyway so twice as hard to pay attention.
>Gist of it is space creatures have some kind of interspecies club of creatures that live in the sky where they explore the sky and do science.
>"...and we found the stellar relocations we were observing involved stars that would be visible from your world."
>They're here over the stars? Luna did tidy up the constellations a little after she came back from her banishment.
>Not exactly polite to discuss that embarassing stuff like her rebel phase with the aliens though.
>Can't cuntblock your sister like that.

>>42814197
To go where no man (or Vulcan) has gone before.

>>42810832
Found it https://pastebin.com/hbP5RN3W

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>the ape is trying to tempt you into premarital sex with his sinful body again

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>>42814919
>you want sex
>your mare wants sex
>but premarital sex is a no go
>obvious solution
>get officially married in less than a day
>get all your pent up lovelust out in the honeymoon
>when you've both calmed down plan out a proper wedding that friends and family can come to as a party
is there a flaw in my plan guys?

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>>42815184
>is there a flaw in my plan guys?
no hooman family members in Equestria

>>42815243
>three years after anon appears in rgrequestria truck-kun sends his entire family there as well thanks to a pajeet driver
>let's say father, mother, one older sister and brother, and one younger sister and brother
how does it turn out?

>>42807824
Please no don't I need to go too Equestria you can't revoke me!

>>42815330
>how does it turn out?
depends on level of horsefuckery you indulged yourself in
also on Twiggy's interest in making more hoomans

>>42815395
Twiggy's first order as Queen of Equestria. More humans for all ponies to love.

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>>42807824

>>42814197
>there's a MTG set for Star Trek coming out at the end of 2026
>there's the Ponies: The Gathering cards
>you can totally have a Pony Trek deck now
On that note, I'll be outright shocked if they don't do a full-blown FiM UB set at the rate they're going.

>>42814919
Must be those socks. Limestone gifted those socks and Anon dares to wear them around her.

You fuck sixteen mares, and what do you get?
Another day older and your pelvis is wrecked.
Saint Megan don't you call me, cause I won't go,
I sold my soul to be Celestia's whore.

>>42815330
>how does it turn out?
I think my family would be genuinely disgusted if they found out I would be willing to fuck a pony, even if they're technically aliens my family is painfully normie so they'd see it as next to bestiality

>>42816601
Celestia won't take you after 16 mares.

>>42815330
I'd assume they're my siblings who died in vitro before I was born and have a breakdown desu

>>42815330
>how does it turn out?

>be ESL-kun
>family members don't speak English beyond some basic words
would certainly be an interesting experience

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>tfw you hate colts but Anon makes the rock soup just right

>>42816687
Everyone knows Celestia likes to groom her harem mebers from a young age so they will have an undying loyalty to her. You lost your chance with her the moment you began puberty

>>42817358
Maybe being human will make her change her mind. Gotta play up the uniqueness.

>>42817332
all it needs is a bit of calcite shavings. maybe some gold leaf if you're feeling fancy

>>42816542
That’s what Pinkie gets for marrying a non pony. Faust is disappointed.

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>>42817332
How do you even make rock soup. Is it like a 72 hour simmer time with a spoon of vinegar?

>>42818812
who the FUCK told you my secret rock soup recipe? was it Caramel? I'll kill him

>>42818812
Oh do I have a story to tell you Twilight.

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>>42814146

>>42813851
Can you see the foal inside them?

>>42819440
Chryssy's having so much fun.

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>*escorts you back to page 1*

>>42820660
I'll escort myself to page 10 thank you. I don't need a mare.

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>>42820899
>passing up on the captain of the hoofball team
Don't mind if I do

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>>42818866
>>42819326
Please just make some Celestia-damned food already, I'm so hungry

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>>42821296
>captain of the hoofball team
she's not even on the team

>>42814197
Kek

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>>42821703
>colt can't tell the difference between hoofball and buckball

>>42821911
I can't tell the difference between soccer and football.

>>42821185
I'm sure human Italy is a favorite place for mares to visit.

>>42821970
>Drunken Anon starts a herd with Applejack, Brandy, and Angel Share

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>>42822846
>no bewweh

>>42822859
I'm sure he can handle one more. He's no wuss.

>>42822859
Anon thinks she's a faker because he believes it's impossible to get drunk on wine.

Whew, fast night tonight fillies. Round up your stallions.

>>42820660
Did she give me my favorite flowers?

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>getting mares to make medical appointments they keep putting off can be a hassle sometimes

>>42824394
i feel personally attacked

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>>42824394
Can relate. I'm pretty sure I had a uti a few months ago and was leaking blood out of my dickhole. I did not go to the hospital.

>>42824893
>Testing your wives' patience by constantly booping them and playing with their ears
>Find out that they made it a competition amongst themselves to get booped the most
What will you do with this newfound power?

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>>42825051
New strategy: earses

>>42812533
Considering that the crystal ponies were displaced out of time for a thousand years or something, do you think they have a more sexist view of stallions than modern ponies?

>>42825051
I was thinking about doing some numbers brainwashing soviet style to make my mares do their chores around the house... But man booping might be the real key.
Step one: Ascend from darkness...

>10

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>>42807824

>>42826413
>Damn jailbait schoolcolts wearing their tails up again...

>>42826413
Such a hard life.

>>42826330

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>>42827461
Dead thread

>>42827493
What do when married life with herd is stale?

>>42827748
>Easy, just divorce them and take them for every bit.
>Take the foals to make your old mares continue paying you for the next decade.
>Then find some fun and rich mares to do it all over again with.
Why can't I post pictures anymore?

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>>42827776
You got rangebanned for being a fucking slut I hate you I hope you fucking die

>>42826418
>Class of '09 /rgre/ edition
>Nick Colt navigating the treacherous world of pedophoal teachers

>>42825576
>Shining Armor expected to have his work cut out for him when he was tasked by his loving wife to get the Crystal Guard up to modern military standards.
>While the bulk of the newly appointed guards were no strangers to hard work on account of slaving away in the crystal mines for years, they didn't have much in the way of discipline or fighting skill, so Shining was going to teach them both.
>Or at least he thought he was, but instead, he got rolled eyes at best and his flank slapped at worse from the mares.
>It took both him and his best bro Anon to keep Cadence from re-opening the sealed torture chambers left by the late king and personally dragging the mares who dared lay their hooves on her husband into them.
>Shining was at his wits end as he complained to Anon.
>"I just don't know what to do! I haven't been treated like this since my earliest cadet days back in Equestria, and there aren't exactly any monsters around for me to beat up to show these mares I'm to be taken seriously. What should I do, Anon?"

What's your answer, Anon?

>>42827805
"This feels like a setup trying to get me to fuck your sister again."

>>42827807
>Shining looks at Anon in utter bafflement before pouting.
>"Anon, I'm really not in the mood for your off brand humor right now. This is a serious problem. What if yetis attack the empire and the guards can't properly fight them off? Not only will they be at risk of injury, but the citizens, too. I need to get these mares into fighting shape...! Besides, Twilight's made it clear she doesn't want me or Cadence's help getting a ring on one of those weird fingers of yours. She say's she'll woo you herself."
>Anon frowns and smacks a palm to the side of his head a few times. Then opens his mouth.

What do you say, Anons?

>>42827818
"Okay okay, uhhh we fake it. Make up a monster, kick its ass in front of the mares and get their respect that way real chest beatin, hoof-stomping, blood-pumpin shit."

>>42827842
>Shining seems to think it over, hoof on his chin.
>"Hmm... That could work, though it's a little dishonest. I guess going against one of the seven virtues of Equestria for the sake of the Crystal Empire is okay, though. Where are we going to get a convincing monster around here, though? About the only things that have historically attacked the Crystal Empire are dragons and yetis, and I don't see any big... apes... around..."
>He trails off, looking at Anon with a growing smile that he knows spells trouble for him.
>"Anon... You wouldn't mind doing me a favor, would you? I still know how to sew from my dad, and I'm sure I can whip up a convincing yeti costume, but I'll need a big biped to wear it..."
>Anon purses his lips, then prepares to answer.

What's the answer, Anons?

>>42827818
"Tell them that in six months each and every one will have to personally fight your wife in one-on-one combat at a public arena. If they don't want to be completely humiliated by a gigastacy alpha mare alicorn in front of every single stallion in the city, they had better shape up."

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>>42827805
>there aren't exactly any monsters around for me to beat up to show these mares I'm to be taken seriously. What should I do, Anon?
If there are no monsters, then I will be one. I was ...quite the proficient troublemaker back in the day.

>>42827859
"If you can make me bigger, like giant maybe, then I got a real good idea."

>>42827964
Anon about to cosplay as Godzilla? Or maybe King Kong.

>>42827805
Shining can't just beat the shit out of these mares because?

>>42828128
It's rude.

>>42828142
They can be the empire's guardians or its gimps. Choose wisely ladies.

>>42827964
>Shining has a good laugh at that.
>"Heh, sorry, buddy, but I don't know that kind of magic. That's more of an alchemy thing... Though, I do know one mare who could probably brew you up a potion if we ask, though she might want something in return."
>Anon inquires on who and what they'd want.
>"Well... Twilight has been known to dabble in potions; after meeting that zebra shamen, she got into it. She could probably get us a growth potion... but she'll probably want a date or something in return."
>Anon knew this was all just a way to get him with the purple horse.
>"I swear it's not! It's just, she's the only one I know who can do it! After you mentioned it, I realized that if we just put you in a yeti suit, it'll look like I'm fighting a yeti with chronic wasting disease. That's not very impressive."
>Shining puts his hooves together.
>"Please, Anon, I really need your help, and besides, Twilight's not that bad. Won't you do this one little thing for me?"

Well, Anons?

>>42828243
Fuck it we go false Flag and do the biggest psyops Esuqestria ever saw that would make the CIA blush, fake bandits attacks or a false Rebel group always make the good OF

>>42828243
I'm surprised he thinks the giant monster attack is a good idea.

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>>42828243
I'd probably ask Shining to give me an idea of limits for property damage and injury to the guard mares
if Shining puts in detail the problems he's having with the mares and that Anon's helping, I wouldn't put it past her to uber charge the potion to 1) impress Anon, and 2) make sure the mares learn a lesson
so I'm imagining the potion being more powerful than either Anon or Shining expect, so knowing how far to go would probably help mitigate accidental damage

>>42829025
We still need a monster costume as well.

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>>42829276
Twilight knows a mare

>>42828243
this isn't flutterrape, why would a date with Twilight be a problem?

>>42829025
>One potion-related mishap later, Anon evolves into Kaiju-Anon.
>Staying perfectly still to avoid further destruction, he notices some commotion near his feet.
>He listens in.
>Only to get confused and, frankly saying, put off by the tiny screams of "Oh would you please step on me!", "Stuff me in your sock, stud!" and "WOULD!!!", not to mention the sniffing sounds comparable in loudness to a commercial airliner engine.

>>42828243
"Okay okay I'll do it but one on condition. Twilight has to introduce me to that fine piece of bacon she knows, y'know that sunset shimmer gal."

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I don't think its going too far to say most men consider Fluttershy's voice to be adorable. In this reversed role Equestria would the opposite be true? Would having a smooth and/or deep voice be considered adorable?
Perhaps flutter's voice is the peak of femininity or 'maresculine'

>>42829394
That’s what the costume is for.

>>42829503
The thought of Fluttershy trying to do a deeper voice to sound more maresculine has me in stitches for some reason.

>>42830142
>poison joke Fluttershy tries to awkwardly seduce you

>>42830142
She'd be doing a deeper voice to sound cuter

>>42829503
It could be an RGRE in which feminine sweetness is seen as the prime means of overcoming life's challenges

>>42829387
Because she'll be following a script she planned after reading a couple books, and locks up every time you go off the script she expects. It's like having a conversation with old RPG NPCs where you had to figure out and manually type in your queries instead of being given a multiple choice list.

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Smooth

>>42831575
I don’t want her eating my bed.

Who are Equestria's reeaaal mares of geeenius~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsC3ni7A88M

>>42831221
sounds based, why would you NOT enjoy breaking Twilight's mind?

up

Guys, have you heard?
Prince Anon is coming to ponyville for our 'running of the leaves'.
I heard that the first place winner is going be given a "special" prize from him.

>>42832333
Head pats I hope.

>>42832333
Which one theres like 4 of them?