>You are now Princess Celestiawhat do?
>>42822958job it extremely hard whenever a villain comes through, like the real celestia
Send OP to the Moon.
Castrate anon.
>>42822958Fart as much as possible
>>42822958Lament losing my previous existence as a human and then topple over on the ground writing in pain because it's Autumn and I jobbed to a stiff breeze
>>42822962
>>42822958>rape
>>42822958Rape the local human
>>42822958Walk outside in the middle of Canterlot and dump a huge shit.
>>42822961>>42822975Get a string for my tiara for easy post-jobbing retrieval. I mean, I've never been in a real fight before. My ass will definitely get kicked in a magical one.
>>42822958Have hot bisexual sex.
>>42822958>Release the 15 demons
>>42822958finally piss in twilight's face (she loves that degenerate bitch)
>>42822958Start recruiting for a special division of my personal guard.They must be the most loyal and trusted stallions in all of canterlot. They'll receive advanced training perfecting their skills as magicians, warriors, and acrobats.Once the division is complete, they will all receive the greatest honors I can give them. The whole kingdom will know they're my very best. The last line of defense to insure the safety of their princess.And then I will lock them in chastity and force them to dress up as my maids. They will receive no assistance hiding these facts from the public.
>>42823054epic
>>42822958*JOBS AT YOU*
>>42822975Come back after the anime finishes airing and enrage the entire fanbase.
Tell my sister that I changed my mind, and I want to try the "eternal night" thing. This time we will do it right, together as sisters. The darkness will make equestria an even more wondrous and mysterious place, and we can finally be on the same sleep schedule as eachother.
>>42822999What if he boops you?
>>42822958
A lot of push-up, sit-up and plenty of juice.Job to the next villain anyway
>>42822958form the Equestrian Reich
>>42823097oh yes yes yes
>>42823102Anon, you are already immortal god queen. What does this mean? Just a shift in asthetics? There aren't even any minorities to purge either, cows are already second class citizens.
Introduce the development of solar panels
>>42823097This guy gets it
>>42823083Unfathomably based
>>42822958put the griffons into gas chambers
>>42822958Have a good time with the guards.
>>42822973GET OUUUUUT OF MYYYYY HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!
>>42823140zecora seems to have rights... put her to work at sweet apple acres
>>42824329Actually implementing such a change would be very difficult. Most ponies are loyal to me, not my sister, and will be incredibly suspicious once the last sunset is declared. We'll need a convincing story for why I changed my mind, a sort of re-founding myth that ponies can use to remind themselves why the night is better. I'm not sure that'll completely put them at rest though, it is a big change for them to get used to, even if it's better for them in the long run.There's also the matter of aesthetics. The castle will need to be redecorated. Not much, but enough to emphasize the sun's unimportance. It's a historic curiosity now rather than a symbol of the kingdom. Of course, the biggest obstacle to doing that is my own cutie mark, as I am still a princess. Changing my title to "Princess of the aurora" isn't going to do much to make ponies stop associating me with the star on my flank. Magic that can remove or change it is far too unpredictable or debilitating, as tempting as that idea is. After a few centuries, maybe I can recontextualize the symbol, maybe as representing the magnetic force that causes the aurora or the lantern light that lets ponies see, but in the short term I think I'll just wear dresses that cover it whenever I'm making a public appearance.
You would have to read all of Twilight's letters.
>>42825506What else, do I have to eat all of the eggs?
>>42825930No, you have a maid for that.
>>42822958Find out whether Celestia or Luna has the stretchier ponut.
>>42826186celestia has the bigger ass so she has the strechiest ponut that ever ponuted
>>42822958Hug luna and tell her shes my favourite pony, Summon 3 random anons and let them run wild, brush my pretty mane, go for coffee with Raven then try to find out what the fuck happened to the real celestia
>>42822958HAVE SEX WITH HER
>>42826635with yourself? that sounds gay tbf desu
>>42822958/ptfg/ is down the hall and to the left
>>42827086>pinkie flag>is against funWhy are you like this
Crack the spike egg into a pan instead of giving it to Twilight.
I love how I clicked into this thread and found every single one of my fetishes had already been posted
>>42827090sorry anon I'm simply following mr. president's orders to keep gooning to my wife
>>42827090Fun is just a buzzword for people who can't properly articulate why they like something.
>>42827389you sound fun
make manehattan into a even bigger shithole
>>42822958Finally find out the color my mare cum. Either white, blond or clear doesn't matter, it would just be interesting to know.
>>42826186How are you going to test how stretchy Luna's ponut is?
>>42827247>Not saying which ones those areLame
>>42822958get the royal cokane order
>>42828034With hooves.
>>42828744>Not using your horn.>Not using your mouth.>Not pressing up against her ponut to ponut.Lame.
Rule with a firm but fair hoof. Do lots of magic and/or science.
>>42828813What project are you funding first? Can't do everything at once. Equestria does have primitive computers, and could be on the cusp of inventing it's internet. Equestria could also use a space program. That's not to mention the magic projects.
>>42828827I think I will send pones to the moon, and this time it wont be because they pissed me off.
>>42828803You start with the tongue and then you work your way up to hooves.
>>42828836Luna says no. You have to go straight to mars or the sun.
>>42828839Fine...
>>42828839Why not Uranus?
>>42828884Uranus was renamed to stop that silly joke.
>>42828920Really? What's it called now?
>>42828920How is it a joke when the planet objectively smells like fart?
>>42822958>You are now Princess CelestiaI STILL need that I AM A SOLAR PONY hypno audio I can;t ufucking believe I never saved it goddgh I'm such an idiot
>>42829342>I'm such an idiotYou'll be a perfrct Celestia
>>42829342>I AM A SOLAR PONY hypno audiowait wuttalking about never saving it, does anyone have the audio of Twilight Sparkle singing about her pussy being yanking and someting?
>>42829290Urectum...
>>42822958I would begin by orchestrating a disappearance and kidnapping, bringing equestria to crisis. At the same time I would commission an airship to hide in and begin gathering a council of edgelord villains with poor track records of accomplishments naming it something mythological like daydream. I would make sure to develop science and magic such that the average pony adventurer can have sub twilight level magics and Applejack levels of physical fitness (as opposed to monsters like rd )Then I would corrupt the elements of harmony such that they become the focal point of an entrenched plot and wide sweeping upheaval. Then I would wait for ponies to become friends and oppose me. I would send my antagonists out to test their resolve. When they push us back from an objective they will cry" what is daydream planning " only for them to reply " wouldn't you like to know".Our plan?Haha. I forgot. >>42823083Haha no stealing my campaign setting
>>42829290urnoseisnowgone
>>42829445This
>>42830721is sparta
>>42822958I would set aside some time to test my physical and magical limits in an open and safe environment away from any major population centers so that I can know how to restrain myself from accidentally hurting somebody from not knowing my own strength.
>>42830902Don't lie to me. You just want to blow up a mountain.
Masturbate, look for any clues as to what the hell she actually does and try to follow her routine so the ponies don't panic. Enjoy having a functioning body and not my narcoleptic/comatose-adjacent brain.Do the best I can for ponies.Masturbate again so my mind is clear.
>>42831321I really think you have no chance at keeping it a secret. Even if Luna wrote down her schedule in meticulous detail, and had a lengthy archive of prepared speeches for you to steal, someone would notice that you're making different decisions. Especially Luna. More important question though, how are you going to masturbate? Horse anatomy means you can't reach with your own hooves. Celestia probably owns a dildo, but why do you think you'll be able to find it?
>>42822958Be paranoid. Afterwards I reckon trying to somehow soften the blow of telling Luna that I am not Celestia even though I know it would probably not go very well even if I planned ahead. Long term if nothing could be done would be trying to learn her responsibilities and getting Luna and whoever else not to reveal to the general public that the princess is no more. Beyond that I think trying to find a stallion with a similar stature would be hard to do. Probably just get pretty ponies and have a harem of white mares like Fleur, Sweetie Belle, Red Heart, Twilight Velvet, Rarity, Coconut Creme, hell maybe even Shining. But that's a pipe dream. I would be to scared to do any of the sort if anything actually happened
send luna to DA MOOOOON
>>42822962He is a bitch who doesn't like bananas.
>>42822958Open Equestrias first mental asylum solely for Anon.Then have a threesome with Luna and Chrysalis.
Eat cake.
>>42832157But if you are celestia, then who is Anon?
>>42832840Isn't it obvious? If Anon is Celestia, then Celestia is Anon.
>>42832843but then who was phone?
>>42832530How much cake?
Dump tons of subsidies into the automotive industry and fund an intercity highway system.Equestrians must know the joy and freedom of personal automobile ownership.
>>42829342 >>42829938Try >>38280413
>>42833765>destroys all of their cities and segregates the zebras to one side
Ludditemaxx and bankrupt all flim and flam businesses and industrual revolution stuff
>>42822958Smack Luna's bouncy moon flanks
>>42822958Crush Anon's head under my cake-infused ass, making it burst like an overripe watermelon.
Molest Luna
Tell Sunset Shimmer that I love her and that I'm sorry.
>>42822958Take over earth, naturally. Enslave all humans. Those who will serve in the bedroom can escape hard labor. But you will serve equines
>>42833765This, and ban flying so pegasus get to drive too.
>>42834536What are you, Molestia?
>>42833404All the cake
>>42835132Dear god... Leave one cake spared for Luna, please!
>>42834533Damn. 1 to 100 I see.
>>428345541. How are you contacting her?2. When on the timeline will you try to?3. What if she reacts badly?
>>42822961>>42822975>>42823013>>42823099
>>42835634it's JOBover...
>>42822958hot messy makeout with Chrysalis
Masturbate to twilestia clopficsSo basically the same thing I already do
>>42836037Who's writing Twilestia clopfics in equestria?
>>42836040Rainbow Dash was inspired to take up writing after Daring Do i spired her, Fluttershy is a closet freak and for all their efforts together, Twilight never did manage to slide into Sunass' DMs. Half of the M6 is also an unholy trinity of clopfic writers working together and bouncing ideas off one another.
>>42836057Does the other half know what's going on?
>>42836059Rarity's in on it, and she helps out when she can find the time but the fashion business has been occupying her schedule lately. Pinkie Pie is too innocuous and ditzy to figure it out, and Applejack's sense of traditional values wouldn't be compatible if she found out.Nopony else knows who's writing them including Sunass. They operate under a shared pseudonym.
>>42836069Wait, are they PUBLISHING them?!
>>42836071Yes. Twilight, RD, Flutterw and Rarity all maintain a facade of being bewildered and disgusted to throw the rest of Equestria's denizens off their scent.
>>42836076I could buy Rarity pulling it off. Maybe Fluttershy too. Twilight would need a checklist and perfect conditions to put on a front, but she has plenty of time to prepare. You cannot convince me that Rainbow is keeping this a secret from anyone.
>>42836078Believe it bro. Twilight is Sunass' successor. If RD lets the cat out of the bag she can kiss her Wonderbolt career goodbye.
>>42836084I have no doubt she'd want to keep it quiet, I just don't think she would succeed. Especially since the books are so scandalous. It won't take long for the right nosy reporter to get her to crack.
Attack and destroy all of the changelings to secure peace in Equestria
>>42822958ban bananas
>>42836329How will you find them? Knock on random pony's doors and demand they prove they actually are who they are?
>>42836353don't they have changeling revealing magic?
>>42822958go back to sleep
>>42822958fly
>>42836917TO DA MOOOON!
>>42822958squish Twilight Sparkle between my asscheeks
>>42837803Why would you do that to your student!?
>>42837999She deserved it for making the School of Friendship happen
>>42838431why not just abolish the school and force twilight to send the creatures back to their smelly countries?
>>42838493that happens before the squishing, she needs to be punished
>>42838525Cruel...
>>42822958cry for I have jobbed
>>42822958eat the cake, all of it, that's not enough cake. every servant's new duty is to make cake all the time, the guards, the maids, everypony, every oven in equestria must have a cake baking inside it 24/7/365conquer the neighbor lands and force them to bake too
>stands in your way
>>42838996I'd can beat that and not job. I think. Hopefully.
>>42822958>Eat a lot of cake>Announce that petitioners must first meet with the Mane 6 (introduced as "those lovely ladies who mangled the gala last year)>Inform the guards that the bearers of harmony are permitted to inflict bodily harm on the nobility>Do not inform the nobility of this>Laugh at my cunt nephew while his balls get fused into precious metals from the force of Applejack's kicks>Eat more cake>Snort coke off of Pinkie's crotchtits>Laugh even harder when Blueblood thinks he's the victim of a crime and whines at me to do something>Did I mention cake?>Finish the day with a quadruple orgasm (I told Twilight my clitoris was hiding a friendship lesson)
>>42822958I’d try to find a way to change back. If not, maybe I’d try to find a way to turn into my pony OC.
>>42822958>Wake up>Look around and see that I'm in a room that is not my own>It's a white bedroom with suns everywhere>Slowly look down and see a white horse>I'm Princess Fucking Celestia>Peek out of the bedroom>Two guards behind it>Pick the one on the left"You, guard!" My hoof raised at him, "Go find Luna and tell her to come to my bedroom at once!">He jumps at my voice and stares at me in shock"This is URGENT!">"Y-Yes Princess!" He salutes and begins running away, hopefully towards Princess Luna>I turn towards the other guard"When he returns with Luna, inform him that you are both dismissed. I must speak to Luna privately">"Yes, Princess">I back into my room, shut the door, and plan for what I must do next>I'm laying on my side in bed>This shit is comfy>There is a knock on the door, which opens before I can reply>In charges Luna>"Tia! What's wrong?!">Motion for her to get closer>She looks at me confused, but begins walking over>As soon as she is close, I reach over and pull her into bed with me>Begin prench kissing with all the energy I can muster>Tighten my grip as she starts to struggle>Shove my new horse tongue as far down her throat as it will go>Her horn is glowing, I guess she remembered she has magic?>Everything goes black as I lose consciousness>Wake up>I'm in my old bedroom and I'm a human again>The transformation was temporary>As soon as Princess Celestia wakes up she will have to deal with the shit I just pulled>kek
>>42833769The celestia one is NOT in any of those links (all but one of those links is dead anyways) it ws specifically called princess celestia tf
>>42839601good green haha
>>42838996That's not scootaloo
>>42822958>You look down at your long, white legs, tall, slender, and ending in gleaming golden horseshoes.>You open your mouth to speak, but even your tongue feels foreign.“Celestia… I think...”>“Anon, don’t move. I can fix this…” you hear your own voice reply.>You whirl around and find your actual body,your human body,lying on the floor on all fours.“What did you do!?” you shout. Your voice booms so loudly the windows almost rattle.>“Anon, please, don’t use the Royal Voice indoors… Do you have hearing issues? Everything sounds muted…” your body says with Celestia’s calm, measured cadence.“That’s normal,” you reply. “Ponies have better hearing.”>Celestia pauses in your body, then begins scuttling awkwardly around the room like a startled cockroach. “And it appears humans cannot absorb mana. Or perform magic at all…”“Only wizards,” you say, trying to sound casual. “I’m still two years away from wizardhood.”>“I see… So still waiting for the magic to happen then?”>You frown. A single tear rolls down your furry cheek.“Yeah… Something like that…It's the reason I can still see unicorns.”>Your face stares back at you with confusion.
>>42840743kek
>>42839544what did the nobility do to you
>>42840548Silly Anonymous, did you forget to wear ylur glasses againg?
>>42840743Please write more
>>42841401my eye license got revoked recently so i'm blind
>>42835627>1. How are you contacting her?her phone>2. When on the timeline will you try to?as soon as possible>3. What if she reacts badly?tell her I love her all the same
>>42822975That just means you need a big strong Anon to hold you up :)
>>42841507Sorry to hear that you went deaf
>>42841573I wish I wasn't deaf or blind, but I suppose we are stealing bodies now like one of them body snatching monsters
>>42822958eat banana
>>42842455...Why banana?
>>42842805BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO DA MOOOON
>>42843070please no :(
>>42843193TO.DA.MOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
>>42840743>>42841403Fine here.>“What?” Celestia asks as she lifts your fisted arm like it’s a foreleg, tilting your borrowed head to the side. Watching your own body make that pose hits the uncanny valley hard.“Never mind. Just...just fix this, alright?” you huff, feeling your new tail flick in irritation.>“Hm… that might be a problem.” Celestia hesitates. “Luna could undo the spell easily, but she’s away on diplomatic relations… for the next three days…” She finishes with an unsure, guilty laugh.“Celly…” You drag a hoof up toward your forehead only to smack yourself square in the face. “Dammit!”>“Be careful, Anon… horseshoes hurt.”“I know that! And please, for the love of sanity, stand on two legs. Seeing myself like that is… weird.”>Celestia, piloting your body, pushes herself upright. She wobbles, arms windmilling, then falls straight backward. >“Harder than it looks… Uh, Anon? How do I walk?”“I don’t know, use your ears,” you snap, frustration creeping in.>“My ears? But your ears don’t move!”“The hell do I know! I read it in a science book back in school! We just—stand up!”>Celestia tries again. Shakily, she rises, shuffles toward a table, and braces your arm on it for support. For a moment, she’s almost stable,then she slips and collapses again.>“Oh, for the love of the sun!” Celestia curses, and before you can stop her she slams your fist into the stone floor. She lifts your hand, staring at it “Ow.”“My fingers…” you whimper, seeing your broken hand held up like a mangled puppet.>“Sorry, Anon. I didn’t realize hands were so… delicate. They do heal, right?” Celestia asks, watching your fingers bend in directions nature never intended.“Now we need to see the doctor. I think you broke all of them…” You take a careful step, then another, your back legs stumbling awkwardly. “Well this is different. I just need to move them one by one… I’ll figure it out.”>“You look ridiculous,” Celestia says, covering her mouth with your unbroken hand as she snickers. “You’re walking like somepony shoved something up your rear end…”“Yeah, yeah, just get on my back. Is the royal nurse in today?” you ask.>“I believe she is…”“Good. We need to get my hand fixed. I don’t fancy losing my old trusty.”>“‘Trusty’? You name your hands?”“Mr. Stranger is such a pervert,” you reply flatly.>The confusion on Celestia’s face doubles.
>>42843802>After a few attempts, Celestia finally manages to drape your body across your back.>You leave the lounge and begin navigating the castle corridors. You slowly find a rhythm with four legs.>Though unfortunately you’re using your front hooves like normal legs while your back ones waddle like John Wayne after a week-long rodeo. In other words: they’re not cooperating.>You pass two royal guards. They salute,stoic and dignified,until they actually see you.>Celestia lifts your shattered hand and gives the guards a polite smile. “Had a little accident…”>The guards glance at each other, then at the broken hand, then at your unholy rear-leg waddle.>One mutters to the other under his breath, “Don’t put that in the daily report… just don’t.”>You somehow manage to make it down an entire flight of stairs without rolling, crashing, or dying, an achievement worthy of a medal, honestly. >At the bottom, you turn the corner and reach a large, ornate door marked with a red cross.>You knock a few times and wait.>The door opens to reveal a small white mare with a neat blue mane and square glasses. She looks up at you, instantly straightening.>“Your Majesty! Is something wrong?” she asks, clearly startled by your sudden appearance.“Not for me,” you say. “My friend here… she, I mean he, broke his hand.”>You turn slightly to reveal Celestia, in your body, holding your mangled hand with the other.“Anon. Again?” the mare sighs, already exasperated. “This is the third time this week from masturbation accidents.”>You turn slowly to find your face looking back with a mix between worry and more confusion.
>>42840743>>42843802>>42843808That's some good green right there Anon.
>>42843808kino
>>42843808More green plz?
>>42841289They're the reason the gala sucks
>>42845101I mean isn't the whole reason the gala exists is to check on the nobility's loyalty to the princess?
>>42843808>You wait outside the nurse’s office.>On the other side of the door, Celestia, speaking as you is desperately trying to assure the nurse that your mangled hand was not the result of “masturbation injuries,” no matter how guilty she manages to sound.>You hear hurried hoofsteps approaching from behind.>“Princess, there you are. Daycourt starts soon.”>You turn to see a white pony with thick-rimmed glasses and a dark brown mane.>Oh right, Celestia’s aide. Raven Inkwell.“Just cancel it,” you say.>Raven frowns. “Princess, you say this every day.”“That’s an order!” you bark.>Any normal pony would bolt at an alicorn yelling.>Raven does not bolt, she stares at you with a frown.>Instead, to your utter shock, she plants her head against your borrowed rump and begins pushing.>“Princess. You have a duty. To… your… ponies…” she grunts between breaths as she shoves you down the hall with the bureaucratic determination she can muster.>Your aide’s mane is now disheveled, sticking out at wild angles, and she’s sweating like she just ran a marathon. You find yourself standing in front of the throne.>Raven stares at you, panting, eye twitching. Dangerously close to blowing her lid.>“SIT. DOWN!” she snaps.>You go wide-eyed and immediately obey, plopping Celestia’s royal backside onto the throne cushion.>“Thank you…” she says, her voice shifting back to its usual professional tone. She clears her throat, straightens her glasses, and fixes her tie. “Daycourt is now in session.”>The massive double doors swing open, and a griffon accompanied by two armored guards strides in, following the red carpet toward you.>“Introducing Prince Blackbeak of the Griffon Territories,” Raven announces.>The prince, dressed in ornate military regalia, gives a respectful bow.>“Princess Celestia,” he begins, “thank you for sparing time during daycourt. It appears our diplomatic talks have broken down among the delegates, and the ongoing border dispute has escalated tensions between Equestria and one of our annexed subjugates.”You stare at him blankly. You have no idea what he’s talking about—nor do you particularly care.>The prince waits. And waits. After a solid few minutes of silence, he clears his throat.>“Princess, I wish to discuss this matter with urgency. The Emperor waits, his armies on standby. A war between two superpowers must be avoided, wouldn’t you agree?”All eyes lock on you, waiting for Celestia’s wise, diplomatic response.“Wait… are you declaring war?” you ask.>“No, I am saying it is a possibility,” the prince replies curtly.“Well that’s stupid. Why would you declare war on Equestria?” you frown.
>>42845791>“The border dispute. We take matters of territory very-” He’s cut off by you waving Celestia’s hoof dismissively.“Ah ah, da da - don’t care about any of that. I mean why in general?”>“Princess, you care for your ponies, do you not? The Emperor cares for his griffons, his pride, his glory.”“I think you’re retarded.”>“Ex—EXCUSE me!?” the prince sputters slamming a talon onto the red carpet>Exuse-me-you-little-shit.jpg>You rise from the throne and begin waddling down the steps, rear legs still stuck in your awkward John Wayne gait.“Do you see that thing out the window?” you say, pointing a hoof at the stained-glass sun.>“You… mean the sun?”“I’ll put it in terms your little bird brain can grasp: I control the sun. I move a celestial body three hundred and thirty-three thousand times bigger than this world.” You inch closer. “Daily.”>The prince backs up. His guards grip their swords nervously.“So tell me—do you really think your army is any concern of mine?”>Behind you, Raven whispers to a nearby guard, “The Princess has found the wine cellar again. Enact Provision C.”>You hear hooves galloping away, followed by a door slamming.“So go ahead,” you continue. “Send your army. I won’t send mine, because you’ll all be tendies by the time you reach the border.”>The prince trembles. “T-Tendies?”“Tendies.”>“I-I don’t know what that means…”“Then go back to your Emperor and declare war. We’ll find out together.”>“N-no! No war! We were only rattling sabres! We’ll return to diplomatic channels!”You lean in and whisper, “I think we’re past the point of peace.”>“Please, Princess. I retract everything! You’re right—your… unmatched power… slipped our minds. Ha… haha…” He looks to his guards for support, but they’ve bolted down the hall.You nod thoughtfully. “Then deliver a message to your Emperor. For peace, I demand… hmm… do you have mares in your territories?”>The prince blinks. “Yes?”“Then ten. NO. twenty virgin concubines. All sent directly to the castle. Address it to Anonymous.”>“V-Very old-fashioned, but… I believe it can be arranged.”“Good.” You smile and wave a hoof. “Off you go. We’re done here.”
>>42845795Hehe. Tendies.
>>42845795>Twenty virgin concubines. All sent directly to the castle. Address it to Anonymous.
>>42845795>twenty virgin concubinesmy dick will be in shambless!
>>42845791>>42845795Yes. This is perfect.
>>42845795>Twenty virgin mares to AnonymousAnd here I was starting to get the idea Anon and Celestia were gonna do it together after they managed to reverse the body swap
>>42822958burn ponyville to the ground
>>42845795So how would Celestia handle Anon's body's intense desire to make out with ponuts? Anon had a lifetime to gain tolerance, but Celestia didn't or did she? It would hit Celestia like a freight train if she were unprepared.
>>42822958Today on interspecies transgenderism I find out if canterlot castle kitchen staff really makes that good cakes, or celestia is just a fat ass.
i dont fucking know, lie down on the floor and shit, piss, cum and cry?
>>42834533It'd really be just rolling the dice. There are some Anons that would pay good money to perish that way, and they're getting it for free.
>>42822958bump
>>42845795>Raven clears her throat into her hoof. “Well, that issue has been… resolved. Next: Twilight Sparkle.”>Damn it. It’s Autismo.>You waddle back up to the throne and slump into it, propping your cheek on a hoof.>You watch the incoming bundle of purple ausitm trot up to the foot of the throne.>“Princess Celestia!” Twilight chirps.>Her voice is grating—painfully so with your borrowed alicorn hearing.“Purple- I mean, hello there Twilight. Is something the matter?”>You slip into your best Celestia impression. You cannot let her get involved in this mess.>“Princess, I’ve discovered a brand-new field of magic!”>“Fascinating,” you deadpan as a clipboard materializes beside her with a pop.>You sit there, suffering, as she rambles for what feels like geological time about magical theories, harmonic principles, and thaumic oscillations.>“…and that’s the new type of magic I’ve identified— Princess? Are you alright?”“Huh? Oh. Right. You’re still here.” You peel your cheek off your hoof. “Uh… fantastic work, Twilight. But how exactly does this help Equestria?”>Twilight tilts her head. “This could open up entire branches of unexplored magical study!”“Yuh-huh…” You sigh. You need to get rid of this purple menace for at least a few days. “Actually, Twilight, I have a mission for you.”>Her ears perk. “You mean… a friendship problem?”“No. Something even more important. Equestria could be at risk…”>Twilight gasps and steps forward. “I’ll do whatever I can!”“Good. I need you to, uh…” You scramble for something-anything. “…find out why farts smell.”>Twilight blinks. “Princess? That’s simply digestion. The food we eat breaks down in the stomach and-especially vegetables, the methane causes...”“Or is it?” You raise an eyebrow.>Twilight looks around nervously. “Well… that’s the scientific explanation…”“Have you ever sniffed another pony’s fart?”>Twilight goes pale. “I- I would never!”>“Then how do you know? Can you trust those sources? Were they tested? Replicated?”>Twilight gasps. “Of course! I’ve been relying on secondary material! I’ll get on this at once!”>The purple autism twirls, salutes, and sprints out of the throne room like she’s been launched.
>>42848658>Be Celestia.>Be in Anon’s body.>Be treated like a lowly peasant by the royal nurse.>Be a princess who just discovered why humans wear clothes.>You let out a hot, bothered sigh. If the royal nurse calls you “useless” or “worthless” one more time, you’re going to have to explain the growing problem in Anon’s trousers.>“Right,” the nurse snaps, tightening the bandages. “Keep them wrapped. If I see you in here again for the same reason, I swear I’ll break my oath and buck you out a window.”>You nod meekly. Using your hands to hide the foreign, growing lump in your pants, you shuffle toward the door.>You hate Canterlot classism— but damn it gets your tail lifting.>You sigh as the door clicks shut behind you.>“Anon! I’m surprised to see you here.”You turn.>A familiar, grating voice.>Your faithful student.>Shit.“Twilight, my faithful—” You stop yourself. She cannot get involved, not like this.>She narrows her eyes in immediate suspicion.>Ponyfeathers.>What would Anon say to her? How does he usually greet twilight.“Oh my god. Book Smarts it had to be you…”>Her suspicion deepens.>You try again.“Purple retard?”>Instant recognition lights her face then she sighs. “Oh Anon, I thought there something wrong there for a moment… I need your help.”>Damn.>When your ponies ask for help, you answer. It’s your royal duty.>But in this form?>Would Anon help her?>You think quickly on your hooves—err, feet.You huff. “Fiiine. Celestia gave me a task to help at least one pony today. So, shoot. What is it? I wanna get back to my goon cave.”>The accuracy of your own impression startles you.>Have you really been around him that much?>“Princess Celestia gave me a mission critical to Equestria’s security.”“Oh? She did?”>Damn it, Anon.>Then it hits you.>Daycourt.>You break into a sprint only for your new legs immediately betray you.>And you face-plant onto the marble with a slap that echoes like your dignity dying.>“Anon! Are you alright?”“Fine,” you mutter into the floor. “I forgot how to walk…”
>>42848663>“Purple retard?” >“Oh Anon, I thought there something wrong there for a moment…"
>>42848663kek
>>42848663Don't let Anon find the royal cake storage.
>>42849003Bit too late for that for Anon requires all of the cakes.
>>42822958Send Luna back to the moon for another 1000 years!
>>42822958summon adolf hitler into equestria
>>42850307There's no jews in Equestria.
>>42850583>what is gryphons
>>42822958Find Discord and tell him he can do whatever he wants with Equestria for one(1) day if he turns me into a stallion and then I proceed to breed Luna.
>>42822958Arrange a buffet of assorted cakes and teas.Oh, and can't forget the 18lbs of cokane and 12lbs of crake.
>>42823140>Just a shift in asthetics?Yes.
>>42851213>fell for the changeling misdirectionYet more proof that changelings are uberjews. Real jews would cower in horror at how terribly changelings beat them at their own games.
>>42851757Changelings don't horde money
>>42822958Get PKd in the Wilderness
>>42852544>PKdfought you meant some earthbound attack like PK FIRE!
>>4285219880 IQ understanding of jews.
>>42853241500 IQ*
>>42854575If you aren't able to see that changelings are infinitely more jewish than griffons then you're unironically ngmi.
>>42854706Well show us the proof then, mister.
What if Celestia wasn't a jobber?
>>42856274imposible
>>42856274Come again?
>>42857181no no no... this cant be real
Bump in hopes of more green.
>>42857953This is as real as it gets buddy
>>42859366fug DDD:
>>42822958Nonstop fun with the guards.
>>42860069Horny, aren't you Anon?
>bumpWE NEED MORE GREEN
>>42861803>WE NEED MORE GREENOf course we do, i'm starving for my veggies (and cake)!
>>42862573>veggiesCelestia does not eat vegetables.
>>42863406What about carrot cake?
>>42863457still would have lots of sweet ingredients to hide any of the vegetable taste
>>42863101Yes?
>>42863457is that good cake or no
>>42865387It's alright.
>>42822958Clop in front of a mirror
Guess I'll use this image to bump the thread
>>42860987Wouldn't you be?
>>42866995i suppose you're right
>>42828827Equestria does not have general purpose digital computers. Gem tech, or enchantments typically implement features directly in a non-programmable way. So you might get an internet terminal, but it would not run software, instead it would have a fixed set of features. Like making video calls, or posting onto a message board.
>>42867630im sure somepony will figure it out in the hundreds and thousands of years incoming
>>42867630You're assuming their computers would run on magic. Eqestria definitely has vacuum tubes and punch cards, and can get better very quickly without depending on magic.
>>42822958Fly to a rural village somewhere in the kingdom, enter the first house I see unannounced, and drop a fat shit in the middle of the room. If the homeowner sees me doing this, whisper to him "You're welcome" and slowly back out of the house, never to return.No one will believe them.
>>42868354Anachronisms drawn by human artists who are limited by human understanding.
>>42868593kek based
>>42822958Play with myself and then fuck Shining Armor.
>>42822958use the sun to burn all zebras and griffons to make equestria more safer
>>42870270Aryanne?
>>42870896kek
>>42822958Tell luna she's adopted.
>>42870270>more saferGrammar, anon. Grammer.
>>42871870FUCK SHIT FUCK I MISSPELLED GRAMMAR THE SECOND TIME ALL IS LOST FUCK SHIT SOMEPONY KILL ME ZIGGER PISS FUCK
>>42871874It's over for you.
>>42871874kek
>>42868593That's a crappy plan.
>>42822958>"Twilight. Please come here. I need you for a second."Then do this to her:https://youtube.com/shorts/FbRZjsxtwvcProceed to do the same with every pony in Equus and beyond.
>>42822958Hug ponies. A lot of ponies. And maybe invite them to a royal sleepover later.
>>42822958slap my fat arse
>>42873331This
force all bakers to bake me cake.Oh wait that's what celestia does normally!uhh... minds gone blank.
>>42874311What sort of cake?
>>42874495The most sugariest cake you can GET!
>>42871874HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF
job to anypony
>>42822958Celestia's Elementary School for Talented Unicorns.
>>42875943Yeah that's the school she owns?
>>42876502i think that anon is saying is that celestia should go to her own school and maybe learn not to job for once
>>42822958require all ponies to worship me all day
>>42822958Tell Twilight so she can save our stupid ass, (Celestia's is speaking to me in my head, telling me to go apeshit and steal all the cake in the land)
>>42877696I think it would be hard for Twilight to even start saving if you're already in the process of stealing all the cake in the world to eat
bump
>>42878485...into luna's big butt with mine for the most awesome butt spanking!
>>42878790unf
job
>>42879778Job? You already got a job as the ruling monarch of Equestria.
>>42879995He means that he jobs to the local flavour of the month villain that appears for the mane 6 to clean it up
>>42880112>Zero work>Still get all of the validationBased.
>>42880285Easy mode life and it's awesome.
eat banana
>>42881125Banana is life.
>>42881421ksk
>>42822958Be happy.
>>42882398Based
DESTROY THE WORLD AND WE DESTROY ANOTHER WORLD SOON AFTER!
>>42882926Don't destroy everything, nonny!
>>42883687This. Ruining Equestria is The Big Gay.
>>42883763Straight*Ftfy
>>42884450No, you have to be a total fag to screw up nigh perfection.
>>42884734>No, you have to be a total fag to screw up nigh perfection.Twilight Sparkle is a total fag?
>>42885100yeah
>>42871874oh no no no hahahaha
Celestia is now trapped inside a glass box. Save yourself!
>>42886198just break it open with celestia's magic, dummy
>>42886198Hooves can shatter glass with ease.
>>42833765Based.
>>42887054proofs?
>>42887054Depends on the glass type. Tempered glass:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YMWFtnS670The horse didn't shatter the glass. It only shattered because of the impact to the ground over all it's surface area.
>>42887478damn that doctor must of been a bitch to get the doctor office's door broken
>>42887790>must of
>>42822958I would make a fart filled Zeppelin with my royal Canterlot farts and crash it into a poor pony household for the lolz
>>42888581wut
>>42888408My bad, I must of made a spelling error.
>>42888875It will crash with no survivors, just as intended
>>42888581>>42889908If I destroyed that zeppelin would you die?
>>42889981You're a big mare.
>>42823096Impossible. No one would ever think of doing such a thing.
>>42890530British Celestia, innit?
>>42890705Oi govenor
invite milky way in for a bath
>>42891704Is that cheese?
>>42892602The best kind: American freedom cheese, USA USA USA!
>>42892820USA is shit
Give a nuclear bomb to Applebloom and watch as Sweet Apple Acres explode
>>42893591>Solar powered nukeAt least it's an environmentally friendly mushroom cloud.
>>42892820>American freedom cheeseNever heard of that.
>>42893891t'is a joke on americans renaming french fries (aka belgian fries) as freedom fries for not going to war against iran
>>42893591why would equestria need a nuke
>>42894794Incase those filthy gr*ffons come running.
>>42895783I wanna give her a hug.But I can't when I'm her.
>>42896276Can't you hug yourself? Is that illegal?
>>42896677>If u fuck yourself ure a faggot>If u hug yourself ure a faggotUre faggot anon
>>42896745oh noes :(
>>42896677How can you hug yourself to begin with?
>>42898209By hugging yourself, it's not THAT hard.
>>42898621It is... ;(
>>42897098Celestia shouldn't be crying.
>>42899986she should be cause she's a jobber
>>42900815Hello, Delta.
>>42901620Delta Airlines? I'm not a plane.
>>42822958Bully Twilight
>>42902513rude :(
Hug luna and make her feel happy
>>42822958Make Twilight understand that when I sent her a plus one ticket to the gala, I meant for her to finally get some!
>>42903443They look like R63 here.
>>42903040
>>42822958Sleep
>>42904230With ponies?
>>42904483not less than four maids and two personal guards. all that space on the bed has to be used for somethingmaybe even using it as an opportunity to play matchmaker on those two servants that are just meant for each other
>>42904647Creative. And lewd.
>>42904223very true, celestia best princess >:)
>>42905345Was there ever any doubt?
*snort* oui oui celestia is french now
>>42904647I'm sure Cadance enjoys doing this too.
>>42822958My first order of business as Princess Celestia would be autocunnilingus all day until Luna wakes up, then 69ing with her.
>>42907029>autocunnilinguswhy is this word so long
>>42907472Just because.
>>42907841because???
>>42908383Because that’s how long your neck or tongue has to be in order to do it
>>42893591Okay lightning dust
>>42906772But she's married.
>>42909135you cannot contain the princess of love!
>>42909198Love or sex?
>>42906767>FrenchMy condolences.
>>42909691Oui...
>>42910737Must be very tasty.
improve the celestia mane
>>42911336You made it worse!
>>42822958Be glad. It's an improvement.
>>42822958Pop up in random places.
>>42912531Pop up in the moon to laugh at Luna?
>>42912531Weddings! They surely won't mind the Sun Princess being there
>>42913074>Laughing at LunaNow that would be cruel.
>>42822958Shave a reverse goatee into my fur.
>>42913686nothing wrong with being cruel
>>42913686But in character!
>>42913802Cursed
>>42913802Do this to indicate you are now evil Celestia.
BLOW UP THE MOON!
>>42822958Fart as much as possi-Wait i already said that, oops.
>>42915179bro...
>>42915544What?
>>42915631It's weird, you know?
>>42915961Pfft, nah. It's sexy.
eat some mother fuckin cake biaaeetchees!
>>42914740That works only in parallel universes.
>>42916032Only if there's someone to smell it.
>>42916983yeah princess luna will smell it hehehe
>>42916983That's what the royal guard is for.
>>42917440They get paid to sniff farts?!
>>42917861More like they don't get paid and they end up dying because it smells so bad.
>>42917878They don't get paid? That's quite maddening considering the security needed for such a alicorn.
Happy new year!
>>42915179Starting to wonder if that's one autistic guy or a group pushing a meme with Starlight's flag.
>>42918804Being around Celestia opens many doors. Unless you die to one of her or her sisters farts.
Surprise the royal guard by giving everypony a slice of cake.
>>42918874That doesn't really answer the question.
>>42919693Yes.
Eatz of all teh cakes!!!
>>42822958Reroll.
>>42920563greedy bitch
>>42920563Based.
>>42921580For what purpose? The place has nothing of value.
Stare at the sun because I can.
>>42922264Too big to fail is a meme.
>>42922424Now that's a good question. Is Princess Celestia immune to the effects of the sun?
>>42922970Princess Celestia is the sun, isn't she?
Have a good ol' laugh at Princess Luna just like the good ol' times.
>>42923795dont be a meanie to luna :(
>>42923795BE EVEN MORE OF A ASSHOLE TO LUNA NAO!
long ass horn
>>42923795That's asshat behavior.
>>42925327she is the ASS.
>>42925560unf
DEEEERRRP
>>42926159Hardcore preening.
Take Luna's Cake.
>>42928326Molestia? is that you?
>>42930146How rude.
>>42930146i cant believe celestia would say this
>>42930552That's because it's a changeling.
>>42930843Ladies and gentleponies, we got that changeling bastard!
>>42931177>Double dubsHell yeah. It's Raid time.
>>42931177Why doesn't Princess Celestia just use the raid spray on the changelings to squish the changeling invasion?
>>42931879It was a Sunday, the stores were all closed up by the time it happened
>>42931951Damn. What a timing.
who would win? Princess Celestia or Molestia?
>>42932920In what contest?
>>42933284A battle. You were likely thinking of the contest which Molestia would win every single time.
>>42933593in a battle molestia would win because celestia is a jobber no matter what
mmm branch
>>42934160Celestia if she giraffe
>>42934806More like Celestia turning into Thingpone.
>>42935114Twilight better run away if she's thingpone cause those eyes are staring straight into her soul
Be a more competent version of her Tamers12345 depiction.
>>42935301I have no idea what that entails and I'm more than happy to keep it that way.
Time to think up a evil plan to Inconveniently make everypony living in Equestria's life worse without being able to put the blame on me
>>42936323Easy. Put Twilight in charge.
>10
>>42936608Devilish, now she'll open the equestrian borders for creatures and ruin it all!
>>42937569Not canon.
>>42937795I wish that was true
>>42937971It is. The last 2 seasons never happened.
>>42938450I think you mean only the first two seasons are only canon.
>>42938793Fine. I can work with that.
>>42939273Unf.
>>42935249Because her plot has been revealed.
>>42924644Horny Celly.
riding a horse
>>42940504Why is the horse looking so depressed?
>>42940925he's confused why a horse is riding a horse in a non sexual way
>>42940930I could see that.
>>42940925he doesn't get to be a cool unicorn
>>42941309But he can still grow a horn.
Sit down doing nothing as I usually do.
>>42942094lazy lardass
>>42942094Majestic.
>>42942094beauty
nom nom
>>42940504Lucky guy.
>>42822958Non-con-sensually assault my student's plot. No lube.
>>42944031She's big!
>>42944031dat ass
>>42943587Oh fug DDD: Daybreaker time
>>42822958Nothing.
Systematically round up all the ponies unicorns and pegasussy. Shove them into a giant white room with strobe lights and speakers. Big enough to house them but cramped enough to make them feel like sardines. Leave them in the room for 3 days, observe. Every once in a while blast the shittiest nu country possible, throw in some gay cowboy songs to stir the pot (Closeted Homosexual Ponies will start to go mad and the Openly Homosexual Ponies will start to bicker with the Closeteds. Perfect.)Once the prisoners are sufficiently uncomfortable and pissed, relentlessly strobe the fuck out of the room and play the worst frequencies LOUDLY. Use my magic pony pussy to make the room shake and observe while my entire species tears itself apart. Once the room goes quiet and rank with death stench, locate the inbred nxgg DISCORD and swallow him whole with my fat puckered pony asshole. Go home, grab shotgun in closet, drink the last of my booze, and finish off DISCORD who is still in my asshole. Locate last remaining life on my landAlso swallow them with my assholeNo one is left, swallow myself and everything that exists with my asshole.....
>>42945144
>>42945144>t. asshole
>>42945144>t. based
>>42944031With what? You don't have a dong.
>>42946325>what is the long ass unicorn horn
>>42946339Kinky.
>>42945104Taking a cue from real monarch, I see.
>>42946719real monarchs actually do something unlike joblestia
EAT LOTS AND LOTS OF CAKE!
put up propaganda posters
>>42947688I will obey ze princess!
>>42947050Yeah. They age.
>>42948404She got railed by the guard afterwards, didn't she.
>>42946339What if you cast a spell whilst the horn is inserted?
>>42948865it warms up while at the same time it becomes hypersensitivewhy do you think everyone is trained to aim at the horn of a casting unicorn?
>>42949331Really an evolutionary risk.
Eat all of the Pringles!!!
>>42950211cute
>>42950211cute fatty
>>42950671Rude, she isn't fat at all.
>>42822958I begin humming Immortal Imperium
>>42950889How does she hold that sword?
>>42951261Equilibrium spell. All ponies can do it using their hooves short-range telekinesis. This is pony 101.
>>42822958When?
>>42951450When what?
>>42951869NTA, he could mean at what point in the timeline
>>42951869When am I Celestia? She's pretty old y'know...
>>42951261Magic, duhh!
>>42952121I personally assumed early show timeline.
derp
>>42953003And then?
>>42822958Griffonstone will be the first to fall
>>42953152Uhh... We derp even more.
painmaxxing
>>42953921what is the Y axis?
>>42954440Horniness.
>>42954521Better than depression though.
>>42822958Make being a yak illegal and the punishment is death.
>>42822958shit nigga idk
>>42943587Hot.
drink water from a fountain
>>42955679Majestic as fuck.
>>42953921>stay pain is strong temporaryWat?
>>42956126Pain is eternalStrength is, too.
>>42955679mlem face
>>42956931Must be delicious water.
>>42822958Prevent Creaturequestria from happening.
>>42950211You can already do that now.
>>42953612A sound plan.
lamp
>>42958846That's a funny looking lamp.
>>42958846Magic.
>>42959765friendship is magic :D
>>42958846How do you turn the lamp off???
>>42960428The lamp does that automatically. She has to sleep too.
>>42848111Great pic
Legalize using live fish for kinky porn.
>>42960789Why fish in particular?
>>42961148Because of their low sentinence.
>>42960789I don't have sex with fish. I'm halibut.
>>42848111She has a gun for a cock?
And 500. It was certainly something.
Against all odds, it reached the bump limitCongrats
Fuck my sister.
>>42961940
>>42962044Unf.
You WILL reach the bump limit until there is no moreYou will NOT fall from page 10
>>42962948Bump.
