If Anonmare gets pregnant, is it gayer to carry a son or a daughter?Previous thread: >>42691388Greens:https://ponepaste.org/11227https://ponepaste.org/11309https://ponepaste.org/11239https://ponepaste.org/11575
>>42828885reminder that anonmare should NOT have foals because you get abominations like these
>>42828894>Half-zigger in the backgroundKek
>>42828885Cheeseballs are pretty good, see nothing wrong with 'em.
>>42829375They're not as good when they're stale and you're too poor to throw them out and/or too depressed to walk to the store
>>42828885>>42828888Kek, we're just ignoring the second Anonmare thread then? This is a special kind of madness Anon, I can't believe you've done this. Just wait, they'll make a new thread too when they eventually reach bump limit and this insanity will continue, I'm calling it. Also nice quads of linking.So, are we committing to this?
>>42829672lol I use both, I'm just amused that the moderator allows two of the same generals (but not any more) since some times they have been both next to each other when the moderator is online but its kept up while other dupe generals get deleted to the one with the most replies (or oldest).
>>42829672>>42829682I just use the one and made a new one when it died. IDK why there's two.
>>42829713The prior thread archived without linking to the next one, so when the OP saw the thread gone he made a new one without checking if one had already been made (which it had 2 days prior). The dupe didn't get cleaned up and a bunch of anonmarebros have been keeping it alive since.>>42829682You are a menace Anon! But I respect your commitment to the mare.
>>42828894I'd love those little abominations no matter what
>>42829713>>42825643The writechad in Anonstallion Thread is cooking. OP: will you be continuing your green here? I need to know where to contribute my own art and writing too - I'm not contributing to two anonmare threads personally. I guess I'll be choosing here, and probably just let the second thread do its own thing, assuming we don't get cleaned up in the next 24 hours. Otherwise I'll be moving over there.
>>42829955I mean if both threads up for a long long while then it'll be the same, I'd say the greens should be here since it's a newer thread.
>>42829955I had planned on it, yeah
>>42828885>If Anonmare gets pregnant, is it gayer to carry a son or a daughter?>having a benis develop and form inside you>having the balls touch your insidesI'd say that's pretty gay.
>>42825156https://ponepaste.org/11575>So, the Ponyville Community... Hot Tub?>Place is huge. Maybe as big as a school gym. >Lots of ponies here, too. Way more than you'd assume the spa could service in a day.>Whatever, they probably sell pool time as its own thing too. It's a business move so obvious even your dumb ass is thinking about it.>Two rings of posts divide the pool into an outer, inner and core layer. A few pegasi are overhead, monitoring a cloud ceiling. Might also be doing lifeguard duty- it's not very deep but still deep enough to drown if you slip and fall in just the wrong way.>The water around the edges is flowing like a vortex, but pretty gentle. Foals are splashing each other and their irritated parents.>The inner sections are hard to make out from the near-solid wall of steam, you can't see the core at all. Just the innermost(?) ring of posts, half-shrouded in steam.>You assume those posts are enchanted to somehow divide the water itself.>At least, you can't imagine how else they got the water to act like solid independently rotating rings.>Trippy as fuck, this might be the most obviously magical thing you've ever seen.>A wizard throwing fireballs is one thing, but chucking a molotov gets you the same effect.>This? This just outright shouldn't be possible, and it's pretty cool you guess.>Trixie's voice shakes you out of your wonderment. "The staff recommend soaking in the center ring first; they won't let us into the rest of the spa until we've spent at least 10 minutes there, anyway.""Y'know, if this is what they have in a little farming town, how great are the spas in Canterlot or Manehattan?">"The difference is vast enough to make one wet with envy. Pun always intended.">Heh, wet.>Thank fuck she's looking forward and didn't see you blush.>You walk slowly through the lukewarm water, letting Trixie take the lead>Immediately past the first ring, the water gets hotter and->Fuck, it's even flowing in the opposite direction?>You're hyperfixated on this, yes, but it's like every damn sense needs to be triply reassured that this is actually happening>Feels great, though>A few neighbors and strangers grunt small talk at you as you approach the fog wall; you grunt non-answers back.>Trixie is already waiting there, not slowed down by "water's great, isn't it?" or variations thereof. You walk up abreast of her and stop."Scared?">"What? No. Trixie assumed *you* would be, after seeing your surprise at the inner edge.">Scared? No. Nervous? Maybe. You've never been in a hot tub or a sauna, come to think of it.>"Just grit your teeth and push through. The heat can be a shock, let it roll over you, walk forward, and sit down somewhere. It's that easy."
>>42830264>So you do exactly that. The heat smacks you like lead before settling like...>Well, like a blanket.>The water isn't circling anymore, it's roiling. Flipping over itself like it's boiling, but it ain't boiling.>Louder here, too. Almost feels like hot rain->It is hot rain. You're in some kind of fancy molded cloud, not just steam.>Wizards. Or do pegasi count as druids? Whatever. Magic, man.>The floor gets heavily textured and rough. Probably for safety, but also really uncomfortable to sit on.>Trixie appears out of the shroud, shuddering and doing a cute little neigh as she adjusts to the heat.>And almost trips over you.>"Right, forgot you've never been here. Get up, you're not supposed to sit in the walkway.">She takes the lead again, inching forward, leaning into...>Doorways? There's walls demarcating little grottos in here.>Trixie leans in, asks if there's room for two mares, and moves on. Once, twice, thrice,>Fourth time's the charm. The two of you find an empty room. The walls are just high enough to give a feeling of privacy, the grippy textured floor gives way to that rubberized cushiony stuff they make booths out of, and the seating arrangements appear to be marked by adjustable poles topped with cushioned chin rests.>With how the cushions are setup, the water is just deep enough to cover your whole body if you lay down. Some trick in the construction of the walls encourages a constant shower right over where your head and mane would be exposed.>So, you fiddle with the button and rack the chin rest into the right height, and lay down with the obligatory Hot Tub Moan>And you silently thank the self-cleaning water when you get a tingle at Trixie making the same noise. FUCK you need to get laid. Corn cobs ain't doing the trick, and you KNOW Applejack knows what you're buying them for.>There's no clock in the grotto. You figure an attendant will just come and get you. Or not, honestly that would be fine too.>You nod off once or twice or thrice or->"Hey, little help here?" a male voice says>You manage to control yourself and avoid making a completely unjust scene- it's not like ponies really care about co-ed stuff.>Blinking and squinting through the fog reveals it to be-"Davenport? Shit, where'd you get that shiner? I thought *I* was having a bad day dude!">You say that like you didn't watch his door get kicked down. He lays down and answers while you fiddle with his pole giggity>"Ha, yeah, funny thing- one second I was closing the deal on a lovely Saddle Arabian loveseat, the next I'm hit by my own damn door flying off its hinges.">Shit"Ponyville, amirite? Rainbow Dash again?">His expression darkens. Quite an impressive feat when he's otherwise the comfiest loaf in the room.>"No. Royal Detective Service. Asking a lot of questions. Looking for you.">hahahahahahahaFUCK
>>42830267Fuck this sounds like the most amazing bathing experience ever, I'm envious. You really thought up something special!
>>42830267this is good, keep it up
>>42829828mm peezer
Pre bed makeout sesh
>>42831194Unf, hot.
>>42830267Excellent work, you've made bathing fantastical
>>42828918
>>42830352>>42831866It's cold as shit rn, just fantasizing about infinite hot showers lol
We're still up? Alright!Reposting the family for good luck.
>>42830441Found this sitting in /bale/ without any (You)s. Based anonmare drawer deserves better... I hope they realise they're appreciated.
>>42832322it's wonderful and so cute!
>>42832270egg
>>42833148Crisp mare
>>42832322I don’t do it for the (You)s but for the love of the game. Every time I try to draw ponies they always end up as Anon in some form or fashion. Thanks for the smile though.
>>42833586>I don't do it for the (You)stoo bad, have one anyway
>>42833586Have a (You), drawfag! We want you to know we appreciate your art.
How do you imagine Twilight met ElementAnonmare in the first episode?
>>42834321It'd have to involve the festival or Anon would have to be dragged to the party for some reason or another to meet twilight, maybe she was handling security for the festival or related to twilight at the party over ponyville's craziness & a like of learning
>>42834321Probably bumps into her on her way to check on either Applejack or Rainbow. Anonmare just gives a quick apology that Twilight takes as dismissive and it's not until the party where the two actually start conversing (at Pinkie's insistence). She was genuinely sorry about earlier, she's just not very good at conveying herself and tries to keep her words short to avoid accidentally offending, which backfires as it did with Twilight
>>42830267>>"Trixie was not in town until just now!">God. Dammit.>Davenport looks at her like she just dumped her most fucked up kinks on everyone, but moves on>Phew>"No, it ain't like that. They seemed pretty worried, kept saying your security was national security? I'm assuming on account of the helements of armory-""Elements of Harmony">"Yeah those. As I was saying, they uh, didn't seem to be out to get you? Course, I didn't tell them anything on account of having nothing to tell them, eventually they promised to pay for the ol' poof and floof-">>"Nopony calls it that.">"-if I agreed to not sue them on account of them kicking my door into my face from 10 yards away. Figured taking the deal was better than wasting a month to squeeze 20 bits out of the cops, y'know?""Buuuuut it's fancy meeting me here 'cause I do good work for relatively cheap, right?">You use that sing-songy voice Rarity or the cutie mark potatoes use to get shit done>He gives you that cock-eyed stare before going "uh, sure, was meaning to ask you">Partial success>Still gotta get skilled with your feminine wiles, it seems"Wait. You said they were trying to protect us?">"Seemed like it.">>"From what!? One skank threw a brick at Trixie but that hardly justifies a bodyguard!">"Trixie, most performers get bodyguards for exactly that reason. Well, that or rapey fans.">Shit, her face clenched up like she's suppressing a full scrunch>He's right but that doesn't give him the right to make Trixie sound like a stupid, foolhardy nobody>Only Trixie is allowed to do that>Your dreams of sugarplums and cleaning this fucker out with hidden fees get interrupted by various moo'fs and pardon moo'ois, on approach vector>A heifer pokes her head in, notices the relative free space, and crams all 1,000 hamburgers worth of cow meat into it"Oh hey Mooriel, lemme get that thingy for you.">"MOOOOO'ch obliged">Huh. Is that a prison tattoo? Has that always been there, hidden by her collar?
>>42833586Thanks for paying us a visit! You're always welcome here drawfriend. Picrel is one of my absolute favourites still.I noticed you coloured the sketch too and I'm eager to post it for the thread (it's lovely!), but I'd like to ask first as a matter of courtesy.
>>42834637By the laws of Hammuranon, at least one of them is a gaywad
>>42834615Anonmare watch out! She has milk!Come to think of it, a cow could probably wreck a little pony no problem... n-not that I'm worried. Anon and Trixie can handle anything!
>>42834947>MilkDon't threaten them with a good time
>>42834615i love this green keep it up!
>>42831867wouldn't it be kirinese?
>>42835786Kirinese? I hardly know 'em
ElementAnonmare would have glasses. since AJ is allowed her hat anon would be allowed a permanent accessory too, plus you could have a good visual gag where she changes her glasses to fit the theme of the episode
>>42836808>Anon is technically a party pony>Her senses manifest as wearing thematically appropriate glasses>Anon is wearing THOSE glasses again>Twilight sighs and prepares for another DBZ laser duel
>>42837058>During the tirek fight when the girls all powered up Anon had Kamina's glasses
>>42837119>During Feeling Pinkie Keen, Anon is wearing full eye pro goggles>Green Isn't Your Color, Kanye shutter shades>All the Canterlot and Gala episodes she wears a monocle>Even when she isn't part of the story, she'll be in the background of the only Ponyville scene dressed to the nines>"Anon, what are you doing at the Gala? You never asked about a ticket!""I came with Derpy like I do every year?"
>>42837285>Wearing goggles during the twister episode>Not participating since not a pegasus just there to watch>"Those prescription sugarcube?" >"All my eyewear is prescription applejack."
>Wears purple glasses for Twilight Incidents
>>42837285I like the idea of Anonmare just being in places but not part of the episode, really fits her original prompt of being "What people accused applejack of being", background pony.
>>42837655Hippie Anonmare
>>42836808ElementMare despises Rainbow initially due to a history of being pranked by her one too many times with some of her pranks crossing the line
>>42838022ElementAnon was legitimately terrified of pinkie for a bit for her weirdness and remembering all the gore stories about her from earth
>>42837285>during the chancellor neighsay arc she's wearing 1984 glasses>derby racers, she's wearing race goggles>lesson zero, she's wearing those japanese crazy eyes glasses>that one episode with luna and the goose on canterlot, she's wearing those glowing meme glasses>>42837300kek>all her glasses are prescription glasses>she went out of her way to make sure all her glasses are prescription, instead of wearing a normal pair and something else on top (or contacts)
>>42837655
>>42832295Anonponies make me smile!
>>42834615>Be Moo'riel>Today has been shit>Cops breathing down your proverbial and literal neck>Entire operation is in danger now- they have something that'll stick on someone.>They didn't tell you, of course, that would be violating witness protection and anyway they're sure you already know>It's complete pies>Everything you're doing is technically legal>Even with a looser view of the law, you ain't done shit in months but collect the checks and sell the completely. unregulated. goods on the open market.>Took you all cornfed day to get away from the shitkicking rattlers and then you just had to run into Applejack>Well, she's not so bad, she charges fuck all for rent and keeps the tax mares off your back without even asking for a cut>Granted, she doesn't know shit about fuck or she might.>But nope, as far as she's concerned you're just another dairy cow>You don't even make milk anymore. Too old to stay pregnant. No calves = no milk.>Yet she lets you stay, even lets you fuck the bulls for pure fun sometimes, and all she really asks is that you keep the idiot heifers from stampeding too often.>When you put it like that, why do you need to skirt the law and piss off the cops?>This whole town would fall apart without your legitimate business, and they'd cheer for it. That's why.>The bleeding hearts.>Anyway>Applejack got overpaid for some hogslop grade hay and bought you some bubble time>Yeah, she's not so bad, you just like complaining>She told you Anon was here too, and you might be able to catch her in the pool still>You like Anon. You like how she fixes your fence and offered to build a nice pavilion roof thing for when Applejack kicks your asses out of the barn in the summer.>You especially like how she's usually the only idiot in this town with half a brain and a steady heart.>Maybe you could let her in on the business. She could use the work, and having a pony on that side of the operation would only improve your image when those wastes of grass build their kangaroo case.>Later, this place isn't good for discussing the business, but you're good enough that you could probably get a feel for how she'd->You make out a couple choice words in the splashing and rain and laughter>"Detective Service">The fuck?
>>42839401>You double-time it, almost eating bathtub a few times>That's right, just pardon yourself, play up the dumb cow schtick>Aaaaand>Here! Just enough room in there aaaaaaand he's talking to Anon>Play it cool. You have no idea what's actually going on here, yet.>"Oh hey Mooriel, lemme get that thingy for you.">She actually gets up and goes in front of you, making sure the headrest fits perfectly.>>There's no fear in her eyes, no tell in her voice>As far as you know, whatever the stockyard wanted with her, she has no clue it's connected to you>Wait>Duh>This is Anon>You're overcomplicating things. She's more straightforward than Big Mac."Sooooo, don't take this the wrong way, but ya look a little plum tuckered, don'tcha know?">"Oh fuck where do I begin-" She glances over at the cerulean mare. "Shuddup Trixie.">She launches into a spiel about a normal day and a friendly visit turning into a marehunt>At least you think she does>You didn't actually hear all of it>"-And then this uh, 'purser of the sow'-" she says the title with a demeaning singsongy impression of a mentally retarded chinchilla- "threw a fucking brick at Trixie and went for the cops after I stood my ground.">Yeah>She's been talking for the past five minutes but all you heard after that was tinnitus>Huh.>You always thought the ringing and tunnel vision was just a filmmaking trick, but no, it's real.>What was it your mother always said? "Don't wait to cut a buffalo chip out- you don't want it to dry on your fur." You always questioned it- who would lay in buffalo shit to begin with?>You get it now. You let the last near-miss with the stockyards slide. Wasn't anything she did that directly led to it, no matter how inconvenient or erotic it was for every last heifer to get milked to the bone that night.>Should've smelled the trouble and cut that chip loose. Now it's gonna tear your fur out with it.>Cud dammit, your mother was ALWAYS right.
pre bed boop (maybe if you didn't boop unprotected you wouldn't have so many fillies)
>>42839487I'd say we boop even more! could raise a whole army with all of these anonfillies!
Watch out!
>>42839953>Teleports to your nuggiesHeh, nothing personnel, foal
>>42839401I don't recall reading any fiction where FiM cows were involved as actual characters. Interesting, please continue.
>>42839002Me too Anon, I love them. I'm working on something I'm thinking you might like...
Board's lightning fast today
>>42840629Seems like it, sadly.
>>42838022i tried to do show style, think i fucked up at the eyes and belly though
>>42840908whoops didn't mean to reply to that
>>42840908You got a great art style, Anonmare is cute here!
>>42840908>Slightly off-model>Look of constant mild concern>You can practically hear the "here we go again" thoughts bouncing off the inside of her skullYep, that's our elementanon
>Anon is the designated so sad its funny character analogous to millhouse>"Hey Anon!">"Hm? Oh hey Twilight.">"Happys hearth warming time huh, what are you doing this year? Me and spike are headed back up to canterlot to spend the day with mom and dad next week!">"Same thing I always do twilight.">"What's that?">"Try to beat my cider intake record at home. I'd go to the bar but everywhere closes down for the week for hearths warming."
>>42840908She's beautiful! Nice work Anon!
>>42841434Literally me.
Another song cover art done for Puzzle Thread. Got to satisfy my thirst for anonpony romance with this one much like with The Missing Piece. It's my favourite ship right now...
>>42841764I love this!!! so awesome its simply beautiful, great work on the art!
>>42841764Wholesome as fuck
>>42833586great work anon, keep it up!>no question mark cutie mark yetShe still hasnt drafted her first shitpost. She hasn't yet called somepony a zigger. She hasn't even samefagged her way into derailing a whole thread yet. She is purer than snow and has so much to learn.
>>42842254What if filly gets a reddit upvote? a wikipedia puzzle globe? Facebook icon?
>>42841764Kino
>>42841764poor anonstallion, he's covered in vomit
>>42842650Is your brain bleeding?
>>42842663look at the shade of his coat
>>42842742It's green.
>>42841410unf mare sweat
>>42842752Too dark
>>42842650Huh? It's just a darker shade of the green coat.
>>42841410AAAAAAAAAAA the coke's warm, the nuggies are cold, and I asked for sweet 'n sour sauce!
>>42842650
>>42843637Uh, god! Spoiler that shit dude!
>"Oh? Hey, Anonmare! Are you putting up some roof decorations for Hearthswarming?">"Hm? No, I'm just up here to kill myself."
>"Anypony seen Anon today?">"Oh uhh yeah said she was gonna hang around the bar in town, said hang weirdly though.">"Weirdly? what do you mean?">"Uhunno just said it all wiggly-eyebrowed, must be in one of her silly moods again."
>>42843772You'd think a mare as chubby as Anonmare would be able to hang herself. But she's also kinda stupid, too.
>>42843814her necks just too thick, rope can't constrict her airflow enough :c
>>42843502I love a good busy tired anonmare.
>>42839407>Be Anon>You just worked out a contract with Davenport, ensuring you'll be eating oats all week>Got to 'chew the cud' with Mooriel, as she'd say, which is always nice>She might look and talk like some sweet old Wisconsin grandma, but she's gotta have some stories>There has to be a reason she doesn't wince when you swear or talk about missing meat>Maybe today is approaching not being shit, after all>Something ain't right, though>After the chatter, you just couldn't get back into bath zen>You're forgetting something>It's itching at the back of your head, but you just can't->"Hey, these grottos are designed so they don't leak into each other." Trixie says, almost with a yawn>You squint at her with one eye"Yeah? So?">"It means you can use perfumes and soaps without being rude to other customers?""...Yes?">>>>"So.""So what?">"Ugh. So, grab one out of your bag and toss it in! Must Trixie do everything waitwhereisthebag?">>>"I think the spa ponies took... it... from..... me... to.... wash...">"Oh. Well, they are professionals, surely they'll check the contents of bags and pockets before they-">Yeah, no>Not with the day you've been having"Mooriel run for the door, NOW!">Be Bulk Biceps>Stuck on laundry duty>Fucking sucks cause you're pretty sure the blue mare and her green friend were checking you out>Woulda been the perfect opportunity to sell tickets to THE GUN SHOW, HOO HA HUH>Ladies.>Ah fuck>The washer is rumbling worse than your gut that time you tried eating sugar free candy>You go to sit on it til it behaves, but for some reason you're now embedded in the ceiling
>>42841764fagsstop being happyreeeeeeeeeeee
>>42844199do not hurt the pony!!!
>>42844671Dubs confirm I'm calling the ponice
>>42844858woohoo! filly is saved!
Pre bed waffle house fight
>>42844166i love waking up to read your green, just want to let you know that I love to read it
>>42845408Thanks bro
posted in the filly thread too but here
>>42844166>You scarcely clear the door on your grotto when you hear pipes start to strain>"Just go straight, the doors all face the rings!">It's hell trying to speed through deep water. You start to wonder how the hell the lifeguards would see trouble, but the flapping of wings behind you puts that concern to rest.>Every motion takes 4 times the effort from the resistance, not to mention the weight of wet fur>You can see the soft glow of the poles in the distance now. Maybe halfway there?>No, the pegasi are clearing the fog. Now instead of the core being zero visibility, the whole room is roughly 50%.>Right, this whole room isn't that big. Just feels bigger from the pea soup sauna. You can do this.>Distant grinding metal turns to nearby quaking ground turns to ponies panicking.>Lifeguards are moving foals first. Right ahead of you on the shore, a fat little teal kid gets->>"The Great and Powerful Trixie! Everything's gonna be okay, guys!">FUCK.>Not him.>He tries to move towards Trixie, but that beefcake masseuse drops in between the two.>Is that drywall stuck to his fur?>"Everypony, move to the exit! There's gonna be a-">He looks down. The water is sparkly and turning pink.>"Oh no.">The floor lurches. You hear the hum of a contingency spell triggering. Something holding your neck up, and a glow on your nose.>Then you see and hear nothing
>>42844166>>42846053KEK! Party in the pipes! Time for a bathanonanzapocalypse you won't ever forget! Or maybe won't remember. Good luck Anonmare!
>>42842412Facebook icon? F for Faggot.Wikipedia puzzle globe? The rare nerd filly.Reddit upvote? "woah thanks dad for the hecking hay tendies and updoots keanu reeves 420 69 (she has no idea what any of this means, just says it on instinct).
>>42846809That's a big family.
>>42844166>sugar free candyHow does that work? kekLovin the story so far.
>>42847478>Sugar free candyCertain types of artificial sweetener can cause intense digestive distress and diarrhea in people who aren't used to it. Usually fine if you just eat one or two but eating a bunch results in funny reviews:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lzU_6PwYR0https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzY_upxEYY4
>>42845994Cute drawing, anon!
>"Applejack cries on the inside!">" 'S true.">"And Nonny only cries when she's drinking!">"Correct."
>>42847988>"And Nonny only cries when she's drinking!"Which is every night.
>>42848001>"Pinkie please stop following me to the tavern then only ordering virgin peach schnapps."
>>42848108>virgin peach schnappsIs she just drinking the syrup out of cans of peaches?
>>42848108>implying Nonny drinks in publicDefinitely the kind of drunk to go at it alone at home.
>>42846053"Ough, what the fuck just happened?">Everything hurts like a bitch>Can't see shit>Ears ringing"Who turned out the lights? Trixie? MooAAAApppplblbphhhht-">A touch at your back startles you, next thing you know you're rolling underwater and flailing wildly>Wait>Water?>"Stop hitting Trixie AAAAA stopstopstop!">The fuck is that around your->It's a floatie>Right>The pipes blew>The last thing you remember was a spell triggering>Must've teleported it onto you>>"Hey, you're awake! Over here!">A light spell reveals the dipshit masseuse and the other refugees on..."How am I going to climb onto a cloud!? I can't cast cloudwalking!">You probably could emulate it the same way you do a lot of tricks, but now's not the time to be trying new shit>>"The glitter makes it solid enough, just-""Oh, in that case, fuck you! Why the hell didn't you drag me up already!? Ain't this part of your job!?">>"Don't yell at me! Besides, it was YOUR bag that caused this!">At that, the others murmur in disapproval"The fuck? You just took it from me and, what, threw it in the wash?">"That's right! We were all but thrown into the bath! We didn't have the chance to declare anything!">Ha, now everypony's squinting at him>Herd mentality is fun sometimes>>"W-well, what were you even doing with that many!?""I was gonna share. Pinkie gave me a lot of top shelf stuff for free and it's not like I was gonna use it all!">At that point you both devolve into yelling, ad hominem insults and->"Not that Trixie isn't enjoying the show, but might we get- I said GET TRIXIE THE HELL OUT BEFORE SHE BECOMES SOUP!">She's right>Yelling and treading water is exhausting, even with a neck floatie>Wait"Wh-yeah why is the water still hot if the building's wrecked!?">>"You tell me, unicorn!">Oh that does it>You actually do have a theory, but fuck that guy cause it has nothing to do with you being a unicorn>Being a unicorn does, however, make it real easy to pin his wings to his sides and->>"HeywaitwhatareAAAAAAAAAAAA">Sploosh>Hey look now there's plenty of room to climb
>>42848130Yes
>>42848130>"I ferment it in my tummy, silly!">This being Pinkie, you have no idea if she's fucking with you or being 100% sincere
>neen
>>42849120literally me in a daily basis :(
>>42849360Damn bro
pre bed
>Ms. Harshwhinny never understood why that green pony hated her buying bread
>>42848707I think it's cute that Anonmare ended up having innocent intentions after all, Twilight was worried for no rea- okay maybe she had a reason given the state the spa is in- but it was an accident! Not to mention Twilight is the one who dumped her responsibility for the trip on Anon in the first place. Hhh I want to see them have a touching friendship moment at the end so bad...
>>42848707>It's a bitch and a half hauling your fat, sopping plot up the short climb"Fuck">The glitterated cotton cloundy substrate gives way to short punches, making for easy hoofholds"Fuck this feels so weird-">The inside of the cloud has turned somehow gooey AND tough and leathery, like some kind of non-newtonian laffy taffy"Ga-OW">But every crispity crunchity intrusion leaves painful sand in your frogs"Trixie-">Three short eternities later, you flop over onto something more solid"*wheeze* you were right, our baths are gonna">Heave"Need baths. FUCK."
>>42850888>Take stock>Where the fuck: a solid platform. Suspended from the roof by a sturdy bar. >What the fuck: Probably a monitoring station, judging by the now-ruined control panels and ticker machines.>Who the fuck: Looks like everyone who couldn't get to the exit in time. Mooriel, Davenport, Snips (FUCK), Trixie, Bulk Biceps (not shown due to being in water) and (you). A few randos you don't know, too.>Everyone, probably including you, has had their fur stained in weird patterns from climbing around.>Fucking sparklepone OCs>Wait, water->Oh yeah. The water. The room is roughly three quarters submerged.>Folks are murmuring in your general direction>Figures, they only remember you're a national hero when they want something>You're about to open your mouth when Roid-a-roo comes back up>"The buck, lady!? I was going to help you up!">Grr>You turn around, pawing at the ground>"Er-""The buck? The buck you mean!? I'm treading water in a slow cooker and you make some bucking racial remarks!?">"What- no! I'm a pegasus, I don't know magic! I was being serious!">You've got way more for him, but the crowd staring at you->Little fat kid's a stupid bastard but nobody actually *wants* to disappoint a kid>Goddammit, you really are going native>Not to mention you shouldn't give Twilight any more ammo than she already has"Ugh- look, I'm...">agggggg"I'm sorry I let the stress of the situation get to me. I assume you were preoccupied with Mooriel since she probably doesn't float so good.">Bulk's eyes go wide. Probably not used to an angry customer being the one to deescalate.>Poor guy. He rubs the back of his head (somehow).>"Uh- yeah, and uh... I guess my wording was... tribalist, even if I didn't... m'sorry.">Stupid girl horse body>Stupid maternal instinct satisfaction from setting an example for the little one>Stupid warm fuzzy feelings from murmurs of cooperation>You're physically incapable of not liking it. Fucking horse dopamine.>Shit, Trixie's trying to be all stoic for once>Blushing over the quiet adoration she's getting by association>You know what's up, she can't hide it"Ok, I don't know horseapples about weather magic or enchanting, but I do a lot of odd jobs...">The crowd approximates an echoing "yeah? uh huh?""I think the spa/bathhouse is built right over Ponyville's hot water reservoir... and the pipes blowing might've opened a sinkhole.">Their faces are already dropping. You can't sugar coat it though-"And seeing how the top windows are dark, and with the luck I've had today, I'm assuming the bath bomb mix spread everywhere before the pipes finally blew-">They're an inch from doing a Flower Trio impression"-Meaning rescue crews are having to fight with that taffinated sludge to have any hope of getting in here.">THE HORROR! THIS IS AWFUL!"On the bright side, there's no way they could miss the biggest building in town dropping 15 paces right into the ground, right? I'm sure they're working on it already-"
>>42850888Trips confirm Element of Harmony Anonmare's fat, sopping wet mare plot?Her poor sensitive frogs! Oh the equinity! The horror!>>42850893Come on Anonmare! It's time to be a main character and help save the day! You gonna just sit there and wait for Twilight to fix everything? It's not like you can make things worse, right?
>>42850355Must be some good bread!
>>42851930Woohoo! Food!
>>42852073sleep well!
>>42852377I never do
>>42850893>You were just settling in for the new edition of the Thaumological Mathematician's Jorunal>Extra dry, no pictures, full annotations>Dirty little whore gonna get read like the open book she is>Oh yeah, ba->"TWILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!">Spike comes into your room, sopping wet and covered in soap, wearing nothing but a worried expression>Which, to be fair, he wears pretty often"Spike! Don't track water and soap everywhere!">A quick application of Whistle Blower's Cleansing Fist saves your hardwood floors and the books>True, it was devised for emergency cleaning of airship engines, but Spike's->"AAAAAAAAA WHY IS EVERYTHING SANDPAPER!">He'll be fine, he's walked off worse.>"Ugh, don't do that!">>>"Do you want to keep standing there looking indignant, or did you want to tell me what the problem is?">"...Did you not feel the ground shake? It happened right when the hot water cut off!">Oh, that>You thought you felt a slight rumble"Not really? I installed enchanted shock absorbers so my reading time wouldn't be interrupted by Rainbow Dash's routine-">CRASH>>"HEY TWILIGHT!""Break-ins.">Leaning over the side of your sleeping... cubby? You shout down at her-"Rainbow Dash! Do you keep forgetting my windows are made of glass!?">>"Yeah, actually. Don't know why." She says with a guilty head scratch. "Anyway, the spa just half-exploded, half sunk into the ground.">>>>"Twi?">>"Celestia bucking DAMMIT."
>>42853768based
>>42852979>The steady beat of your hooves>General panic and pandemonium ahead, getting closer>Crisp afternoon air whipping your mane and tail into a frenzy, doing nothing to help your burning lungs>Lungs burning>Lungs REALLY burning>Above, in the distance, you see a rainbow blur darting about where the spa....>Used to be.>Faster! This is precisely why you read that book on kinesthetics!>That's a lie, you actually read it to prepare for the upcoming Running of the Leaves>Something soft on your back flips backwards, leaving a weight on your tail>"Twiliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!slowdowwwwwwwwwwwwn!">Right. Spike."I told you to hold my neck tight!">You hate being mean to him, even if he seems to shrug off physical pulverization as easily as an itch>And that's assuming he notices at all>A baby dragon is still a DRAGON, no matter how often you forget that>Ow!>Really, you're hurting yourself more than him>Time to come to a skidding halt"Okay-OOF!">Silly you, you forgot conservation of momentum!>Spike rolls into your back legs and knocks them out from under you>"Oof-Hey-MMMMMF!""Sorry Spike!">"Why am I even coming? What am I gonna be able to do, exactly?""Spike, don't be-">The run catches up to you, and whatever you were going to say is lost in a coughing, wheezing fit>"TWILIGHT!""I'm- HHHG- fine- HHHHHG-">You blindly grab the nearest container of water and drink all of it>>"Hey, that was my laundry water!""WE DON'T NORMALLY WEAR CLOHTES!">"Twilight?""I'M FINE! I'm fine, I just don't think I've ever tried to sprint that long before.">He scoffs. "Yeah, you're in worse shape than Anon.">You try to get up, but there's something sopping wet on you.>Plus a dragon.>"Nope. Catch your breath first.""But I-">"Nope. You're no use if you fall over the second you get there.""But the emergency!">"Didn't that dumb running science book have a section on pacing yourself?">Curses!>How dare he use established scientific consensus against you!"Ugh, you're right.">And so you lay, splayed out and wheezing for a short while>>"Spike?">"Yeah?""What else, besides you, is laying on me?">"You, uh, don't wanna know.">>>You can barely make out the beat of heavy hoofsteps over your own heartbeat>>"Thanks a lot! Now I'm going to have to wash my sweaty gambeson all over again! Do you have ANY idea how bad armor chafes without a jacket!?">>Sweaty>Wool>In your water>Oh yeah, that's you turning green
>>42854520Take this (you), I love this please keep making more!
>>42855310im sure there are plenty of couches in equestria, even stores that just sell couches that anonmare can get!
>>42855651Sadly the closest couch store stuffs couches with writing quills
>>42855310Anonmare needs a rescue after her difficult work-out session. It's okay honey you did great, let's get you back home nice and comfy so you can recover.
>>42855975I'm sure anonmare could use the writing quills to good use.
>>42856228Going straight home? In Ponyville? On a day ending in Y?Less likely than you think!
>>42854520i love this green so much :D
>>42854520>"Twilight, darling, there you arEEEAAAGH!">And that must be Rarity>Judging by the length and intensity of her anguished screm, you estimate she has seen but did not touch the rank mess you just made>"What on Earth happened to you? And- oh, you got it all over Spikey-wikey!">You can feel him going full heart-eyes>Yep, he's useless to anyone not named Rarity for the next hour or two"Hey Rarity, yeah- WHEEZE- just decided to keel over in my own- WHEEZE- digestive contents for fun!">"Oh, yes, surely you heard- the spa! All of Ponyville's coiffure in danger! As much as I would like to fall over and commiserate with you, somepony must do SOMETHING, and that might as well be us!">Clippa cloppa>White blob, in your field of vision>Don't tell Rarity you called her a blob>Now, gigantic eyelashes. A face resolves itself from the chaos. A face that twists into a sneer of horror.>"Well, that and I'm absolutely NOT fainting on the filthy ground. My old couch finally lost its war with Opalescence and wouldn't you know, Sofas and Quills is closed early today!">Great>You had scheduled "buy new quills, peruse bargain cushions" after your reading time"As if- WHEEZE- this day could get any worse!">You can't tell if she actually got the sarcasm or not>"I know darling, local businesses are the backbone of any economy, but that is precisely why we must hold fast!">Sproinga-pronka>Oh no>Sproinga-pronka>You like Pankle Po but you cannot deal with Panko Panera right now>Sproinga-pronka>This is NOT a moment for Pringles Peeper->Sproinga-pronka>Wow, you did that thing Anon does. Maybe stop riding her plot about it then?>>"HEY TWILIGHT! Lucky you, my left eye started a'twinging, which means either I need to eat less frosting or Twilight's sticky and needs help. So of course I brought my little red wagon I keep for little red wagon emergencies because Pinkie Pie can NEVER eat too much frosting!""I feel like that last part hasn't been peer-reviewed OW hey watch the-">Your witty retort is punctuated with a sound not unlike climbing out of a bog>The thicky-sticky kind, where the "water" seems to crackle in annoyance"Ow, what is- is that a shovel!?">>"Well duh, you're gross and I don't wanna touch you. C'mon, I work in food service, I gotta stay clean silly! Rarity, pick up one end-">"Absolutely not!">This again?"Rar- OW-">Bit of your fur stayed on the ground that time"-ity! The concept of- OW- thaumic field miasma has been thoroughly disproven! OW! One hundred years ago! You can't catch- OW! physical disease through WATCH IT magical contact AGH! Now please help Pinkie Pie while I still have some fur!">>"Girl what did you even eat!? I wouldn't even think Spike could make something as sticky as this!">Spike FINALLY snaps out of his Rarity Rump Haze, "Wait wha- oh, she drank a laundry tub.">You can FEEL the two of them staring at you in disgust"N-not on purpose! I fell over! If I sprinted any more my lungs would've been bleeding!"
Did we decide on what Anon's element would be? It'd have to be something essential to friendship thst can be spun for simple and good positive messages
>>42858634Common sense?
>>42858634>>42858724I've been operating under the assumption of Adaptability. True friends need to be able to compromise and you can't even make friends if you won't try new things.Anonmare is willing to give all manner of things and people a chance and keeps accidentally inventing new spells without even realizing it, by being the weird friend who doesn't know what's supposed to be impossible.Hell, she might've been the only one to tell Nightmare Moon she was valid but her methods are the issue (it doesn't work because Nightmare Moon is part demon and beyond mortal therapy, but it's the thought that counts).Maybe this version of events almost went tragic, like Nightmare Moon actually shot at them instead of letting Twilight monologue>"And Pinkie Pie, embodying the- AAAAAAAAAAAAA!">Twilight gets thrown prone by a...>That wasn't a horn laser, that was a horn tomahawk missile>Direct hit would've made Twiggleberry Jam for sure>Even hitting a shield would've exploded her horn>But that should've hit- it veered off course at the last second>If one looked closely, one might swear Nightmare Moon's stony face wavered in confusion, for just a moment->waitwhyarewequestioningthis>Cue everypony running for solid cover>>"Foolish peasants! We grant you one final chance: submit or die!">The green repair pony, whose horn is now smoking, spits out a bit of blood and pokes her head out on shaky legs"Look, y-y-y-your majesty, you were treated wrongly back then. You deserved more than you got, but hurting ponies isn't going to make them love you.>>"You dare question US?""A-a-all you're doing right now is proving Celestia right. If she's such a bitch, why don't you prove her wrong?">Mane 6 all turn to look at Anonmare>One can practically hear the grinding of gears as their necks rotate"What? I KNOW Purple over there read the book! You telling me you wouldn't hate everyone if they kept shitting on your life's worAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-">Anon gets thrown sideways by another Evilfireball exploding just out of lethal radius, a brief gray sparkle knocking it off course>>"Oho, fascinating- so you're the reason your leader stood through the fires we threw? How creative... And sympathetic to our righteous cause- but sorely lacking in respect. We shall ENJOY breaking you, then perhaps whatever is left shall serve us well as- WHAT? IMPOSSIBLE!">Twilight, not being completely fucking retarded, took the time to regroup and fire the thingyAnon's shield spell is basically the Normandy SR2 upgraded shields from Mass Effect- advanced sensors and an oscillating kinetic field that parry incoming projectiles rather than take them head on. Or in magic terms, she strung a ward spell's sensing together with a telekinetic field set to trigger and rapidly fly perpendicular to an incoming threat.It's extremely inefficient and has to be actively maintained, hence why she doesn't just have it up all the time.
>>42859308lol evil anonmare
>>42858835Sunset swimmer's ends up being empathy if I recall rightly. Someone said anonmare's should be curiosity/discovery which fits the question mark cutie mark and whole introvert/shut-in character.But adaptability works just as well, anonmare has to adapt to a whole new body, world and life as much as she has to discover how to make friends and discovers more about equestria
>Twilight looked over the letter from the Princess again >"Wait whose getting married?">"Oh I was probably supposed to give you this one first." Spike said passing her an additional letter >Anonmare's ears perk up and she looks over Twilight's shoulder as the unicorn reads >"You are cordially invited to the wedding of Princess mi-">"My brother?!" "My ex-girlfriend?!" The two unicorns shout at once
>Lazy daughter drifting to page 9
>>42859588>Ex GirlfriendWas Anonmare such a marefailure that she unlocked nurturing instincts or something? How does she pull Cadance?
>>42860013young anonmare's firery attitude and free spirit was quite attractive to young cadence.
>>42859927>>42829828>anonogeewhy is she so lazy? we need lore on this filly.
>>42860155takes after mama
>>42860155>>42858032I'm not fat, I'm big boned!">Twilight sighed. "That's just something parents say when they don't want to tell their foals they're fat.">She prepared a scanning spell. Technically this was highly invasive and doubly illegal considering she wasn't a licensed medical professional, but nopony will ever check>"I'll prove it to you, 'Gee... See? You're- what the-">On the convenient magic-reading readout paper, in plain pictures-"I told you, I'm big boned!">"Subdermal calcified plating is NOT bones- no, what even ARE you!?""Rock inside my body? Sounds like bones. I'm gonna go lay on a pile of trading cards now.">Spike tried very, very hard not to be seen
>>42860013Cadance was attracted to Anon's massive teats and chest fluff but couldn't keep up with her lifestyle
>>42857557>>"C'mon Rares, you've got magic! Did you forget or something?">The look on Rarity's face suggests that, yes, she did forget. A sudden drop in local gravity suggests she's trying to pick you up.>>"Spiiiiiiiiiike? Come on, lazy silly. Sillazy? Lazilly? Sillizard!">A tiny bit of weight lifts itself off your back. Seriously, how is Spike so light and soft?>"Eh, I dunno what I'm scared of. It's just soap, spit, water and probably a bit of stomach acid. I was already-">Rarity and Pinkie are boring holes in Spike with their eyes. You can feel the residual heat. You'd be staring at him too if you could move.>"What?""Were you about to say you were already covered in STOMACH ACID!?">"Uhhhhhhhhhh-""I know you didn't get to finish your shower, that explains the soap, but- no, I don't even- OW!">>"Sorry!""-have a biting retort for that. Just, WHAT?">Spike waits an uncomfortably long time to respond.>The girls don't know what to do. The movement of a shadow across your face suggests a "let's just do this?" shrug.>"Spikey, darling, please. It would be helpful for us to know what you've been, eh, coated in, seeing as you were splayed out on Twilight. The doctors may need to-""DOCTORS!? NO! I-">"Apb apb, no buts, Twilight. We found you collapsed and covered in vomit after drinking... let's just say SOAP and spare all our sanity. That requires medical attention, I'm afraid.">>"Hehe yeah, you look all dried out like a raisin. I'd suggest changing your name to Rum Raisin but that's a movie character and the owners are super duper litigious so maybe not.">Oh>Is it really that bad?"But... the spaAUGH">They finally flop you over into the wagon.>>Pinkie talks while she hooks up the harness. "Maybe let the digging ponies, or the fireponies, or the whatever third thing ponies, do their job huh?">Finally, movement>Away from the pond of your embarrassment>The little wheels click and clack and the houses drift by>Wait"Where's Rarity?">>"Huh? Oh, she was delivering extra needles and thread and fabric and stuff to the relief effort.""Oh. That makes- wait, Spike, you never answered.">"Answered what?""You know what.">"hnnnnnng FINE itwasnapalm">Oh that-"What?">"I knew you wouldn't understand!""You're right, I don't even know what that is!">"Anon taught me how to make it! Kerosone and ground up takeout containers makes artificial lava! Great for dragon baths!">>"So you just..... set yourself on fire while bathing in kerosene!?">"Mixed with bits of trash, yeah. Makes it super thick and sticky like lava!""Wh- WHY?">"I'm a dragon?">Yeah ok he's got you there>And it's not like he could've possibly been unsafe with it, or the treebrary would've gone down instantly>Still, something about it just->>"Is anypony else wondering why Green Bean knows how to make Minotauran Fire?"
>>42859308Whos house did Anonmare burn?
>>42861208(You)r house. You shouldn't have tried to pet her, fag
>>42861436I will do it again.
>>42861777nice trips, anonmare is cute here
>>42860155Because she is a space cadet like space mommy
>be you>be anonmare>This is bad>Twilight had everyone over for a hangout and got distracted with a star swirl spellbook>if not for feeling nauseous from last night's pick me up you'd be in the same predicament the rest of the girls are in>not that they even seem aware what just happened >the now teeny mares, fillies really, are acting their age in a radius around your stock still form>Spike is chasing rainbow trying to grab her before she breaks something>pinkie just bit rarity and is now sulking in the corner while rarity sobs and hugs your hind leg for comfort >applejack has decided to test her strength by biting your tail and tugging on it as hard as she can >Twilight is lay under you reading a primer on the abcs >fluttershy looks up at you with the biggest, most pleading puppy dog eyes shes ever given, like the stare became a stare that screamed "help me please" not "do as I damn well demand">"mama anon im hungry :<" she says pleadingly
>>42863104Force them to fight for your affection
>>42863104>Go to Zecora>Get potion to encourage lactation>Come back"Ok I'm too lazy to cook so you girls fight over my tits."
>>42863258This is also what happened last time Anonmare was in charge of setting up a picnic for her friends
>>42860965>"We're trottin'"pinkie?>Pinkie was indeed trotting along one of Ponyville's suspiciously repetitive boulevards>"And Twi's twitchin'!"pinkie?>You were definitely twitching. Better than being dead from dehydration.>"On the edge of my wagon, probly itchin'!""Pinkie!">"Yeah, Twi?" A baby blue eye peered back from her angled face."Could you maybe not sing about my medical emergency?">"Oh, sure! I thought you'd appreciate an ironic fun-poking at your predicament, but if you're not happy then I'm not happy so sorry!">Well>That was nice and easy.>Pinkie Pie is never in the middle, always zero or one hundred it seems.>But that extreme personality is part of what makes her such a great friend!>Friends..>Your thoughts turn to the others, as houses and shops roll on by>Anon definitely made it to the spa. You just know it.>You doubt she's willfully involved- even though Pinkie DID say she->No. Anon has that strange kind of selfishness where it rolls back to being rather generous where it counts.>Blowing up the spa on purpose means blowing up everypony's hot water, including her own.>Plus that's just plain mean.>She'll survive. Of everypony you know, she's the one you'd guess would worm her way out of Equestria's total destruction.>"Just got that dog in me" she says. One of these days, you'll find out her origin, and thus the source of all these strange turns of phrase!>But this time, it'll be her, that dog, and four or five of your friends. Sans Twilight.>It hurts to trust her to do it alone, even when you know she->BINGO! That's the next letter to Celestia!>The crisp outdoor air and sounds of faraway chaos turn to sterile indoor air and the constant low roar of medical personnel on duty>Oh good, you're here!>Spike and Pinkie are talking to the nurses.>>"-Wouldn't let anypony through, not even- oh geez what happened to you, Twilight!?">Slowly, you turn your head towards the source of that sound. A blurry rainbow->Blurry?"Rainbow Dash?">>"Oh dude, you sound worse than you look!""Long story... What are you doing here? Dropping off patients?">>"I wish! Some fancy-schmancy royal guard division has cordoned off the whole peeving spa! Won't let anypony through, especially 'element bearers. can't put you ladies at risk.'" She says the last part in what must be a mocking impression.>Be Anon"-right? I'm sure they're working on it already-"
>>42863799love this green :D
>>42864441And this mare loves popsicles
>Unicorn Anon has to find specially-made hats>Most unicorn hatmakers think baseball caps are too lowbrow
>>42864845who doesn't?
>>42863799>Trixie sneers and scoffs, but her voice is unsteady. "I-i-irrelevant! Trixie will not require help from Twilight Sparkle, nor her inner circle! Present company excluded.">The crowd goes into yet another annoyed rabble. Snips mentions the Colt Cartographers' survival advice, "don't move you little bastard it makes you harder to find.">Damn, either his scoutmaster is a real fucker or the CCs are more fun than you'd expect. Might wanna swipe a manual to check.>You can't talk to them when they're like this. Walking over to the edge to clear your head, you notice-"Hey- I think the water's rising!">The rabble changes wavelength to something confused- you point out the zig-zagging, haphazard cloud cliff you climbed.>"She speaks the truth! That hoofhold Trixie punched- it's half underwater now!">Shit
>>42864116Anonmare is so smug.
>>42865852"Why is it still rising? I don't think the building is sinking still!">"Uh, might have an idea about that-" Bulk Biceps flits out of the crowd and lands near you. "They made those poles to last- might still be moving water around, if enough of them are still standing.">Facehoof"Okay, but don't they just circulate it? Why is the total water in the room going up?">He scratches his head, an uncomfortable pause. Trixie starts to open her blue mouth but you stare it shut.>"I dunno- look, all I know is massage and general maintenance. I whack patients, their backs get better. I whack the pipes, the water flows right." He pantomimes a punch on each 'whack.' "This kinda stuff is beyond me.">You peer over the side. Sure enough, you can see the phosphor glow of a few poles down there."Trixie, give me a smoke bomb.">>"Trixie is naked, you know this.""I also know your cape has no pockets and you don't take your hat off to throw them. Got any hidden somewhere?">>"What are you implying!?">Snips pokes his head out of the crowd, "Oh my gosh is Trixie going to open her mare hole??">The crowd beats his head in before you can take a step. Can't blame the kid for being excited but come on.>"Whaaat? I meant the magical hair hole every mare seems to store stuff in! Or did Pinkie Pie lie to me again?">The temporary distraction provides Trixie the opportunity to set some smoke bombs down next to you.>Her face is cherry red.>Pick them up with your magic, lest you be tempted to lick your hooves in front of everypony. You absolute gay disaster.>"Woah, where were those hiding!?">>"The Great and Powerful Trixie does not reveal her secrets!">"But why do they smell funny? I can smell them from- OOF." A swift kick from Mooriel shuts him up.>Trixie leans in, whispers "I also have a lockpick if necessary.">Gross. Hot. Good to know.>Unfortunately-"Damn, I don't think this'll work. Thought maybe we could toss it down there, trace where the smoke gets carried, figure out where the water's coming from?">Trixie's looking smug.>Genuine smug, not the facade of false confidence she usually wears.>Much as you want to play along, this ain't the time."Alright, out with it."
>>42866122>"Trixie knows how this could work. Examine the bombs.">You feel them up with your horn and look close. Something in the orbs changes and the clouds try to roll out, stopped only by your firm magical grip."Mostly magical components- inked clouds trapped in.... uh....">Pawing at the glass orb while it's in your grasp, you notice it's almost squishy right now->"Semipermeable thaumaglass shell. Solid and brittle, but becomes a membrane when acted upon by magic fields. Great for making alchemical bombs, taking cloud samples, even filtering water if you modulate it just right.">Okay, so you can modify them easily, but-"What are you trying to make here?">"Trixie is making nothing. You are. If one had the dexterity and multi-contact control to, for instance, create a centrifuge-""...Pinkie uses common food dye, which got diluted in the bath bombs, and again in the explosion, but we could concentrate it out and make a dye pack!">Trixie's look of.... is that admiration?>No way are you fucking this up>>"Dye pack!? Dang it lady, we're trying to get out of here, not paint our hooves!""Bulk, you wanna take another swim?">He cowers immediately. "No, ma'am.">Scrape some pink crap cloud off the top of the gunge gorge. Squeeze it in gently. Shake it up good and hot, then spin the inside to centrifuge the solids out.>Which ends up as you staring at it with a headache while spinning multiple tops. Chunks of glitter ore and taffyglass insulation go in, raw alchemical fizz, pop, cotton and candy come out.>Along with fine, hot pink dust, collected in a bowl Trixie expertly moves about.>God it's like your brains are touching. Is horn sex a real thing? Not just some fanfic crap?>She's blushing but you can't tell if it's just exhaustion or intimacy too.>And it takes a while- the water's come up a head and a hand or so, but eventually-"Voila! Dye pack!">Breaths on the back of your neck- turn around. The crowd was watching closely, apparently."What?"
>>42866536watch out anonmare you might fall!
>>42866908Can't believe I got away with posting nsfw
>>42867575Anonmare with the twilight cut is odd
>>42868792cheeto pool party lol
>>42868445The avatard...
Anonmare but blind and bulliable
>>42866154>Snips stares up at you, slack-jawed.>Well, slack-jaweder than usual. "Are you an alchemist?">The fuck?"No? Why?">"Well, Cheerilee took us on a tour of the Canterlot potion workshop and the ponies there using that centrifuge spell.">Alright>Take it easy, don't yell at the kid"I didn't learn that spell from a book, I just bent my TK field all funny. Theirs is probably better- look, we gotta get outta here, don't distract me.">He mutters, at a level he thinks is too low for you to hear. "Took them like a whole hour not 15 minutes-">A swivel of your ears shuts him up."Besides, it was Trixie's idea, I'm just the one with... really... bendy... magic? I guess?">>"MOOOOOOOOOve it already! Cut the book club and let's get out!""Alright, alright! Sheesh- just gonna add some glitter.">You take some shiny from the pile of shiny extract, squeezing it in like the dye.>For reflective purposes, not fashion.>Ok, a little bit fashion, it looks great. Shame you have to toss it into an underground lake."Alright, unicorns, over to the edge. Shine a light as bright as you can. Bulk, Flitter, you can leave the platform so you're our best chance of catching where the dye goes-">Bulk actually salutes. You still have no fucking idea how he can bend his massive arms like that."Remember, trace the opposite direction, we need to find where the extra water is coming in from.">You've only got one spare bombshell>Gotta toss it in hard enough that it cracks, accurate enough that most of the dye cloud disperses between two of the poles.>Don't want to toss it in, want to launch it in. Make a tube->Ow. Been casting a lot. Grab a pipe, it'll work almost as good, there's plenty of busted piping up here->There's one the bomb fits almost snugly, stuff a tiny bit of funcotton in, just to stop the bomb from rolling out while you aim.>Don't trust your eyes, remember water bends light. Close em, try to aim towards the->>"MOOOO-""Mooriel, shut up, we only get two chances at this. I know, you can't swim, it's ok.">Where were you?>Right, close your eyes. The enchantment on the poles makes a subtle pull if you're looking for it.>Fucking Star Wars shit.>Grab the bomb, force it down the pipe as hard as you can->Bloop>Sploosh
>>42870302Dude, don't get too real with me.
>>42870302I think the answer is 5
>>42870787No you idiot it's B
>>42869587lol this is great
>A tall royal captain stand attentions to his troops, debriefing the encounter the four alicorns had with this strange green mare that flew from the sky and unto the ground. On a fateful week, the entirety of Equestria will change forever, never to be same again for better or worse, I repeat, we have a secured 'visitor' called 'anonmare' that isn't from here... The crowd murmurs and some snippets of conversation can bleed through if you pay attention to them, after all, a good guard knows to pay attentions to rumor for intel, they might be vital for the incoming, but you mostly choose to hear the captain over the noises of the crowd. You've heard some strange rumors about this peculiar mare, strange tales all around with many contradicting each others, it's all jumbled noises you can't make senses of. You decide to roam around the plaza, listening to crowd murmuring whispers of worries. You spot a particular conversation of interest to spy into.''Pssst hey, have you heard of this new mare in town, straight from Canterlot and the other princesses ? It's all hush type of stuff, what do you think is going on ?''''It's so bizarre, the alicorns won't talk about this mare much but I know Luna is sweating with a lot of stress and a very concerned face, the other alicorn have reacted in very nervous ways.''''What does it means ?''''I don't know really, but I've never seen the princesses this worried about anything, straight up fear, even when things got bad, they were never looked like this...''''Shoot, if they're so worried, why won't they talk about with their academics or... any high ranking guard... ?!?! Maybe they'll get a solution by working with others ponies, I've never seen them this secretive about anything.''''Hush now, I think the guards are listening to us...''>You've been spotted spying on them, despite being inconspicuous about it, they scamper away out of your sights. Your own curiosity of this bizarre affairs seems to control your movement, you start trotting towards the royals and nobles, maybe you can gather better information from them. You notice many nobles gardens and gates are now closed from the public, concern takes roots into your mind, you know this is not typical pony behavior to be se guarded, even with dangerous being roams about.... what in tartarus name is happening into your city of Canterlot ? Well at least, this spectacles certainly breaks the boring mundane routine you're accustomed to. Then you spot into the corner of your eyes, the alicorn all flying around the carriage VERY defensively, is if they are carrying a wild dangerous beast, the amount of guards is impressive, you get interrupted by another guard.''Hey, this is off limits ! Nopony can be here without authorisation, not even guards, back off !''...>''Okay, I was just checking what the commotion was''''Nothing here, move along''>You decided to steer away, you now desire to understand more of whatever circus is going on... you NEED to know.
>>42871568>You decide to cash in the favor of many guard whom you've covered their guard shift duty with to get inquires about this ''big thing'' happening here. Many of the guards response to your inquiries but some flat out refuse to give intel, now you know it's beyond a 'big thing' happening like a foreign visit and diplomatic envoy, whatever is happening, you know in your hearth this is beyond serious and a status quo changer. The route the royal carriage from your fragmented intel seems to be about chasing off any trails possible to lose all form of cohesion to even confuse experienced scout, you've never heard of the canterlot alicorn doing THIS type of route before. Eventually, the trail grows cold and you're unable to keep up. You curse apples and berries under your mouth in whisper from the frustration about this grandiose event escape your perceptive grasp. If anything happens, you need to stick to the higher ranking nobles and servants of Canterlot royalty to get any useful hear say. You keep being the normal invisible guard nobody pays attentions to, but you're listening... with great interest, your eyes dilate involutory whenever some rumors pops up about 'the carriage' that has left last week. A noble takes notice of your interest and usher you on the side, this particular noble 'fleur de lys' seems to want to confide with you with this secretive topic.'Ah~ If it isn't one of my favorite guard that brings me good food sometime.'>She looks away but her magic light up sideway, to conceal the magic from the general crowd of noble but on your side you see her magic horn glowing then suddenly, you hear her thoughts.''Sorry for the crude approach with magic, but I can't officially talk to any guards, royals orders so I have to be sneaky about it, I've notice your interest and I propose a bargain.... I'll tell you what I know~ Aaaand you'll investigate for me! I can feel how much you want to know more with this thought transference spell~''>You've always knew her for being gossiper of the highest tier that somehow can deny any and all form of allegations, what a sneaky noble you inwardly smirk, but now, a bit anxious, you feel like you've going into a game where you know none of the rules at play here. You inhale and do a very sharp but imperceptible nod to confirm your agreement to this offer of informant employment. Like a sneaky pro, she take food from the platter you're carrying for this gathering of nobles but why are the guard carrying the platters ? It should be the servants.'Ah perceptive as always, I know my kinship wasn't wrong to place faith into this curious intelligence of yours, that's because there was a huge transfer of servant toward the four great alicorn, may they be blessed, I also know there has been a great amount of 'magical' hospitalization of the servant for unknown reason, something vile and virulent I've heard, but to be so sever it requires magic to correct is surprising to me.'>Dear celestia... !
>>42871648''Move along, I can't stick for too long, they'll notice''>You inhale, the scale is much bigger than you initially thought, for her to take this amount of precaution but also being desperate for more news truly means that information is jealously guarded. Now you at least have a clue, you can't confront this directly, you need to go around the phenomenon and garner the contour of it's mystery first if you want to progress your suspicions without alerting the higher nobles of your now very marked interest. You roam the side way road where hospitalization carriages import the sick. Something is wrong, they are not being transported to the main hospital, you see the carriage moving in back alleys ways on toward the mining tunnels, Then you catch it, the glimpse of a hooves weakly moving out of the carriage sheepishly swiping at air with pustules and wriggling worms... you think ? Then the unmistakable aura of magic snag it back in to conceal this brief moment of revelation you saw. It looks nasty, whatever this is...>You decide to go at the office travels in the guard but it's blocked by royal order too, they are really trying to cover this up. Fine, if you can't observe record directly to pursue your search, you'll simply improvise and ask for more air patrol since, you need to stretch your wings anyways, you fly high above and discern obvious movement of carriage toward the gem mines, you've somewhat pin pointed the location at the place. You decide to be a bit more bold and approach when the guard changes shift at the mining tunnels, you sneak in easily given your overall guard knowledge and even if caught, you can simply act on being a guard. You simply do natural impersonation of a guard that should belong, in the damp cave with dimmer light, it isn't too difficult to merge in the general guards. Finally, you can see what the hype is about, a guard order you on the distance....''Go check on latest of the tents but to not scream or freak out''>You anticipate his grave sounding warning but gather your courage and check the tent as commander with your blending disguise. Nothing could have prepared you for this.''AAAAAA- *Put your hooves on your mouth*>It was a real horror show, ponies body bending and shaping in way that shouldn't be possible, with strange protrusions you can barely discern with your torches, you hear a lot of squelching fleshy noises and moans of pain from the many occupants in the tents, are they even ponies you wonder in shock from how abject and horrifying they are to look at. They messes had eyes, mouth, wriggly hooves with mismatched manes and fur, as if somehow took a painting of a pony and smeared the entire canvas, the entire thing felt wrong to watch.''What is.... oh celestia... this is so wrong...''>You tear up a bit, you can't imagine what these poor fellow kinship ponykind is going through, your hearth aches at their collective misery...>A hooves wraps around you in a reassuring manner...
>>42871648>>42871568>>42871728Your green has potential anon, but I urge you to look into the grammar and phrasing, it's difficult to read, particularly the "More than Coincidence" part.
>>42871568>>42871648>>42871728>>42871739Agreed. Good idea, just hard to read.
>>42871728I like your green, nonny.
>>42872205How tasty are crayons
>>42872484Purple ones are always sold out, blue ones are bland but filling, red ones just shoot right through me
>>42872348Cold bath :D
Omg anonmare is real
>>42873049I can't believe they fucking added anonmare to one episode. It was the worst episode in the entire show, they were trying too hard to do some fanservice as usual. Her character is completely ruined must have been that they just randomly saw one picture of her on teh internetz and thought it would be a good idea TO FUCKING PUT HER INSIDE THE SHOW. The main gimmick of anonmare was that she's been a human before and here she's just acting like any other mare. Bravo. Such a wasted potential and we never see her again. Fuck you hasbro.
>>42873168Fuck are you talking about? She's staring at Applejack's Apple Ass, plus placing her right behind Rainbow Dash is a subtle reference to one of the most famous brony memes of all time.
>>42873245Meanwhile, in the mind of Anonmare>She is so goddamn toned.>Could peel apples with those glutes.>I'm supposed to have a horn aren't I?>What are they staring at again...>Squeeze my head like you're squeezing the juice out of an apple AJ. please.>If i dye my mane green i could camouflage in her trees and just watch her work>thank god the cunt flakes meme isnt real, RD already smells like sweat 90% of the time and standing behind her like this would be way worse>hope she doesn't buck me for going behind her like a real horsie>I bet i can whinnie>whats happening again, oh right twilight's gone nuts
>>42873604chicken nuggie
>>42874122I need a mare who loves me as much as Anonmare loves being a fat fuck
>>42874396Impossible.
>>42873049woah no way, that's awesome!
>>42874563>I just stood there and the humans went "woah">Feelsgoodmare
>>42875123
>>42875227500 cigarettes! too many for anonmare or anypony really!
>>42875227>>42875483Nah ponies can't get lung cancer, they just dust their lungs out with toon physics and they're ready for more cigarettes
>>42876146Howdy!
>>42876296She wants clam chowdy
>>42876630wut
>>42869587>For a moment it looked like you'd not only missed, but failed to break the damn thing>All that hubbub over refraction and you forgot to account for the slowdown!"Shit! Trixie, toss me the oth-">"Hold that thought!" Flitter calls from across the room, "I can see it!">You look where she's pointing, and yep->It took it a second or two, but it's spraying ink like a smoke grenade. This might be better than what you actually tried to do!>You can see it getting carried off by an unnatural current, but stress and the now-murky water mean that's all you got.>Hopefully, eyes designed for working with clouds will fare better."Flitter, go against the flow! Bulk, follow it!">He shoots you a questioning look, but they both do as you say.>Flitter flies slow. Following an underwater river means you gotta take in every detail, and then some to do it in reverse? You wouldn't know but it's a safe guess.>Bulk, on the other hand, has no issue tracking the pink and shiny inkblot.>No, the issue with him is..."Bulk, why are you flying in circles!?">"You said follow the ink, that's what I'm doing!">That doesn't make sense- how is the water rising if the circuits are still moving only in this room?>Eventually they stop right over the same spot. "Uh, you got any water breathing spells?""If I had any, and could cast them without dying right now, we'd have swam outta here already! Why?">A nervous glance shared. They answer in unison, "Uh..?">Facehoof"Out with it! Come on!">Bulk flies over to grab.... Snips!?>"C'mere lil dude, got an idea," He affords you a quick glance, "Yeah I bet you wanna see it yourself but we kiiiiiiinda need you not wasting energy being a flashlight. Don't wmmphy Mph gfffm fln!">As he speaks, he grabs a very curved signal mirror out of an emergency box on the central pillar of the platform. You lean around to peek in, nope. No signal flares or explosives, just first aid supplies, matches and cordage.>Honestly even that would be overkill for any spa not named The Ponyville Spa And Public Bathhouse, so you can't really blame them."What are- OH, you're gonna use him like a lighthouse! Yeah!">He nods enthusiastically. A very nervous and already airborne Snips cries out. "PlEaSe DoN't mAaAaKe HiM ShAaAaAkE!">"mmph bmd dood!">The new patented Snips Spotlight shines around what used to be the intermediate ring. The pink ink is roiling in a cloud, getting a little less vibrant with each passing moment."I'm not sure what....">Squint"Wait. Oh fuck, that's a pole!">Yeah. Driven 90% into the ground like a fucking railroad spike.>It could be pulling water up from the reservoir for all you know!
>>42877063smug anonmare :D
>>42876146yeehaw howdy there anonfilly
>>42877063fuck you too anonmare
>>42876630What's clam chowdy?
>>42878152Clam chowder but retarded I guess
You must choose Anonmare but she takes flurry heart's place or Anonmare but villain-spawn made to exact revenge
>>42878473>Get to touch Cadance's pussy>Get to suck her tits>Get to be demigod royalty>Get to live in a city where Celestia isn't fucking everything upvs>Creator probably hates me, sees me as tool at best>Have to fight innocent ponies>Best case scenario get hit with the friendship beam and get stuck doing homework for TwilightWhere's the catch with being Flurry Heart?
>>42878571Your dad has an annoying voice, you're going to be effectively useless for a decade at least, uhhhh, I got nothing honestly. You'll miss out on the show? Spitballing anonmare concepts, the stallion thread has a bunch of characters and ideas we need some too
>>42878627Anonmare but you're a rape baby?
>>42878627Nah if we're gonna be fucking up canon families for new characters, go whole hog.Anon is a little bastard? Great, now it's literal. Meet Ever After, bastard daughter of Cadance and Shining, and the reason they had to get married before Twilight even knew they were dating.They have no idea why she's green- even the wacky laws pony genetics seem to run on say there shouldn't be any green in that family, but every possible test confirms she's their kid.
>>42878668Cadance getting imprisoned and beaten during the wedding episode made the baby come out a little retarded, but due to Shining's magic surge at the end the baby would become so retarded it loops back around to precocious genius
>>42878972very nice apple
>>42879634this is what moses did
>>42878672Anon was poisoned by changeling magic in the womb hence the green, that or chrysalis jizzed in cadence either or. Do you think they kept her or put her up for adoption out of shame at her being conceived out of wedlock, retarded, green, not looking like them and presumably not even a unicorn?
>>42878668Anonmare being an unwanted, bastard tard baby is pretty funny
>>42879872She was born an alicorn. No way Celestia let candyass skip responsibility on that.Normal baby appearance though. None of that mary sue adult eyes and 40 foot wingspan shit that Flurry Heart got.
>>42879634will this work?
>>42828885Anonmare would fuck her own body, which is gay, she had sex with stallions, extra gay, now she's pregnant with twin sons which is extremely gay
>>42877045>Bulk glides back to the platform on his hilariously tiny wings>"Uh, kid said he could hold his breath a super long time or something...">Snips? Useful? This will be interesting."....what?">Fatty starts bouncing side to side. No, he's not cute, bad uterus!>"Yeah my mom said I was born with a cord around my neck and I wasn't breathing for like 5 minutes so I bet I could-">JESUS>Even Trixie looks concerned now>It's a miracle he has any brain cells left"Uh, that's great, but it just ain't right to let a kid-">"Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnn it's not gonna be like the ursa thing! Speaking of which, I DID lead that thing into town without getting eaten so that's gotta count for something!">You're trying to think up an excuse to shut him up (and not have to explain to Twilight why a local special needs kid died on your watch) but Mooriel beats you to the punch.>>"You stOOOOOOpid or what, calf? You got no brain cells to spare!">Crickets>Why are there fucking crickets in the half-destroyed spa?>Snips isn't even offended. Little dipshit probably thinks she means he's a genius who needs every part of his big brain.>>"Heh... sorry, stress of being around all this deep water got to me....">Riiiiiiiight>Mooriel's kind of a psycho sometimes. You should hang out more.>Anyway"Moving on.... I'm out of ideas. That buried pole must be pulling water up from the reservoir but I got no clue how to pry it out.">Long silence.>Hooves shuffling about awkwardly.>Fuck.>>>After about a minute, Trixie speaks up.>"Perhaps the Pink One left a cache of dubiously legal objects in here? One that might contain something useful?">She gets close. Close enough for you to smell the mare smell on her.>"You are able to spot her hiding places... perhaps you could sus out one of her party stashes?""Worth a try, I guess...">If you were a Pinkie Pie Partypalooza Dead Drop and Tax Haven, where would you be?
>>42880227the baby
How about an Anonmare thats the product of say chrysalis and sombra making her as a revenge-baby?
>>42880783And then Bugnon and Babnon meet and fuck kingdom
>>42880763very cute anonfoal!
>>42880763She popped out with that thing at full mast already, huh
>>42881015Her poor mother...
>>42880763That's a big horn.
>>42881218For you.
>>42881077>>42881218Her first words weren't mama or dada... they were looking smugly at Shining saying "I was bigger"
>>42881760kek, mogged by your foal. wouldn't live up to that haha
>>42881760You think baby unicorns get little horn-mittens to protect their horns from being stubbed or stabbing their parents/siblings?
>>42880783>Black mane, green fur, green eyes>Chrysalis : greenish mane, greenish eyes, black body>Sombra: black mane, dark grey body, greenish smoke when using dark magic, green eyes normally as seen in the comicsAnonmare is evil bros
>>42882775Evol is love spelled backwards
>>42882775
>>42880408I haven't run the numbers, but the theory is sound.
>>42882775Anonmare is good, actually
>>42880705>Bulk comes up to you, as quiet as a roided up ungulate can>Which isn't very, but still. Looking very guilty too."Alright man, what's up?">"So, uh, just remembered...">You turn the world 45 degrees clockwise>"Pinkie miiiiiight have a scuba tank stashed somewhere...">>"And you're telling us now, because..?">His face gets redder, but he doesn't answer suspiciously fast or slow; "It was a couple years ago, alright? I forgot...">Something tells you there's about to be emotional damage. You're developing a sixth sense for this.>Would've been nice EARLIER but ok.>Almost automatically, you stand aside to let The Trix off the leash, but it's Mooriel's voice that reams his ass instead.>>"He's hiding something! I knooOOOow the face of a rat!">"O-o-o-out with what!? I don't know where exact-">>"NooOOOOoo secrets! Unless you want the rescue crews to carry you out in a BUCKET!">>Bulk NARROWLY succeeds at not pissing himself, but fails to not be a dumbass>By that I mean he keeps stonewalling an angry, undersexed cougar of a cow>A cowger!>>"Trixie, tie him up! Gonna show him what me and the girls do to rodeo clowns!">Your blue roommate (bluemate) (get out of my monologue, Pinkie) shrugs in an offended manner, as if to say "my pussy is nowhere near used enough to hide a ROPE, as much as I might wish otherwise!">Fortunately, the meathead gets the bright idea to take off, before Mooriel can try charging>Which would very likely end in her drowning>"Geez, why is every mare, heifer and jenny bucking NUTS!?""C'mon dude, what are you hiding?">"Nothing! I-">Flitter lands next to you, softly. "The fuck's going on here? You need me to keep circling or-""You know where Pinkie's scuba gear might be?">Her face screws up real bad at that. Come to think of it, you've never seen the twins that angry before.>She raises her voice to just below proper shouting, shooting Bulk an aside glance."That scuba tank better not be anywhere on the spa, the owners were VERY clear on that!">>>Perhaps noticing the higher-than-normal level of confusion on your face, she elaborates: "Pinkie wanted to be able to throw surprise parties in the whirlpool, but that meant being able to stay under for a long time. Aloe and Lotus told her to buck off with that...">Leaning back out, yelling in Bulk's direction- "AND THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE END OF IT, RIGHT!?"
>>42884157>She taps her hoof while Bulk stalls>Tappa>Whimper>Tappa>Whimper>A raised eyebrow>Trembling hooves covering his mouth>A swish of a steel blue mane>His façade cracks. "OKAY! OKAY I THOUGHT IF I SNUCK HER GEAR IN SHE'D DO A STRIPPER PARTY, MAYBE EVEN PUT OUT!">Holy shit you can actually see steam coming out of Flitterheart's ears>If only Pinkie were here, she'd have an inexplicable tub of popcorn>>"YOU WHAT!?">Damn, Flitter can fly fast. She is RIGHT up in his face now.>"BABE IT WAS BEFORE WE WERE DATING!">>"WE'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR FIVE YEARS YOU SHITASS!">"BABE, YOU KNOW I-">Ear grabbed, dumbfuck husband being dragged down to earth now>>"DON'T BABE ME! I DON'T CARE IF YOU FUCK OTHER MARES, IT'S PINKIE THAT'S THE PROBLEM! YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT PUSSY HAS BEEN AND I DON'T WANT YOU BRINGING ITS WHERABOUTS HOME!">"PINKIE IS SUPER CLEAN! She takes health and safety way more serious than you'd think!">>"She's also AMISH and a ROCK FARMER!">"Applejack's a farmer and you never care if-">>"Yeah yeah everyone jokes about the Apples being inbred, even Applejack, but that family tree is more like a family forest! They're all over the bucking country, the inbreeding is in name only!">"What's the problem!? Pinkie is respectable! A town icon! I thought we agreed on a TRADITIONAL marriage- Pegasopolis style!">>"The PROBLEM is you'll dick down ANY mare in town but your own sister in law! When's Cloudchaser getting that fat dick, huh!?">"She scares the buck outta me and I go soft! Come onnnn!!!">>>The exchange goes on for a while. You don't know exactly because holy fucking shit.>Eventually you're able to breathe again>Trixie is red-faced and splayed out on the floor>Mooriel has that look where you desperately need a smoke after sex or something>Snips is just confused>Davenport is... wait where the fuck->He gasps from somewhere to your right and downwards>"Found the scuba tank! Heavy as an authentic Mexicolt stone bench, likely on account of it being made of metal and full of compressed air. gonna need one of you ladies to lighten the- what the fuck is so funny?"
>>42884161Lovin the drama. Also how everypony apparently hates/is scared of The Pink One.But the water is rising and Twi is out of order! Now is the time for Anonmare to act and save the day!
>>42883388We're the good guys.
>>42882775>Rarity sighed as another small gust nudged her needle out of place again>The 3rd time since Rainbow had dropped by for an impromptu visit this afternoon to chat with the seamstress >While normally this would be a lovely surprise that Rarity would be all to glad to indulge and even welcome for the company one of her friends could bring while she worked on her latest outfit, today's visit from the prismatic pegasus was proving to be quite the bother>Just as Rainbow was preparing to launch into another tirade about a recent favourite topic of her's Rarity cut her friend off >"Rainbow Anonymous isn't a bad mare why do you insist that sh-">"Uhh news flash Rarity Anonymous acts like a jerk and has the villain palette!">"...Villain palette?" the unicorn asked, turning to look over her glasses and cocking a brow at her friends accusations >"Yep, black, green and more green and more black! total villain colours. PLUS Anon is so... so.. well she sucks!">"Rainbow Dash I've heard quite enough about this! I'd have thought that judging somepony by their coat was a lesson you'd learned during the Zecora debacle but instead you're flapping about my boutique insisting a mare, whom you know nothing about by the way, is somehow a villain in disguise." Rarity scolded>Rubbing her temple with a hoof she continued "You can't simply claim somepony is a villain because you dislike their attitude let alone their colour palette, I mean why in Equestria would you say her colours make her villainous?">"Oh lets see, Sombra black mane and tail, green evily magic." Rainbow started , landing on her hooves and using the feathers of her wing to count as she listed off her justifications for her baseless claims of villainy >"Discord? black mane, green leg. Chrysalis? All black and green! Nightmare moon was totally black and I think even one of those diamond mutts that kidnapped you had green eyes!" She ranted, folding a feather down for each villain she drew comparison to Anonymous with>Siting on her haunches to cross her forelegs she frowned "Plus she's such a wet blanket, calls me nasty names whenever I say hi all because of a few pranks! and did you know she's NEVER let pinkie throw her a party?! not even once! I'm telling you Rarity, villain colours, villain attitude, this time next week she'll find some mystic doodad and try to take over Ponyville." Rainbow huffed.>"...Rainbow that isn't... well. just because somepony looks and acts like a villain doesn't mean they are one surely." Rarity defended to Rainbow's unamused expression >"Aren't you like the best pony ever at finding patterns and details? C'mon Rares you can at least see where I'm coming from right??" The pegasus asked closing the distance to her friend
>>42884572>Rarity frowned and turned back to the dress she was supposed to be focused upon>She HAD indeed picked up on the reoccurring phenomena of green and black in their enemies but until now had dismissed it entirely out of hoof as nothing more than coincidence>But with Rainbow's impassioned tirade on their mutual acquaintances behaviour in mind... perhaps she was onto something>Anonymous wasn't a friendly pony, she was dour, grumpy and sometimes quite rude>Practically never leaving her bungalow at the edge of town unless she desperately needed to>It wasn't as if she was shy either, she simply loathed socialising to such an extent as to be the sole pony in all of Ponyville to escape Pinkie pie's surprise parties. >Repeatedly! >The mare had closed herself off so firmly from everypony else that no one even bothered to speak to her anymore, her stiff resistance to participating in the community and even a genuine scuffle with some ponies had cemented another fact of life in the town as accepted as Pinkie's oddness or Rainbows propensity to crashes >Anonymous the unicorn wanted to be left alone, but did that make her a villain in the making or perhaps...>"I think in a way you might be onto something Rainbow." Rarity decided>"you... wait you're on my side now? Aw yeah! lets get the girls and go kick her fl-">"We have a friendship problem on our hooves!" the alabaster unicorn declared
>>42884589Alabaster? More like alabastard!
>>42870302Not her fault, maths without fingers is a lot harder
>>42885393Excellent depiction of a future mare
Anonmare and her girlfriend. Princess Celestia
>>42885393Anonmare doesn't want to be the student of Princess Celestia, it seems.
>>42884161>Afewminuteslater.french"OOF!">HEAVE"FUCK!">Various other terms of frustration!>It takes a hot-ass minute, not helped by you effectively working half-blind and leaning over the platform at an awkward angle>But that bitch gets topside and flopped as carefully onto the platform as you can manage>Which isn't very.>Still>You have your Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus>(That's not what it stands for!)>PINKIE!>(Silly Compartment of Unbreathed Air, duh! Cause it looks silly and has air that hasn't been breathed yet so you can breathe where you can't breathe!)>Whatever!>You now have enough underwater time to work at that thing!>The water's covered about half the distance up to the platform, compared to how low it was when you climbed up"Anyone got the time?">Bulk glances at a wristwatch. "Been bout an hour, give or take, including the couple minutes you were stunned in the water.">A quizzical head cock gets "What?" in response"That's- exactly what and why I was asking? How?">"Cuz why else would you be asking about the time right now? I'm not COMPLETELY dumb, you know- OW!">He's cut off by Flitter softly bopping his head.>Trixie whispers in your ear, "Oh they're totally gonna hatefuck.... Think we could get in on that?">Mindbreak.exe>You dare to stare at the cerulean mare>The pony who has up until now been oscillating between a massive nuisance and closer-than-usual friend to you>Friend, with no romantic action on either's part>Just asked you if being the bread in a gymrat/cheerleader sandwich was cool>Didn't even make out or watch each other jill off, nah she goes straight for casual group sex with a couple of really aggressive swingers"You and me? With him? Or her?">"Yes.">Well, you didn't immediately say no. So that's out in the open parts of your mind now.>Play it off! Casual!"You travel too much- you saw how she reacted to Pinkie. Flitter's scared of your exotic cunt.">She barely stifles a laugh. "i'mactuallyavirgin">What.>She notices your disbelief. "Wh- I totally could have, but silphium costs money and I didn't want to squeeze a bastard out on the road!">Sure>Wait, that's actually believable->You're pretty sure Trixie is fairly attractive by pony standards. She's no Fluttershy, but still.>A breath on the back of your ne- when did Davenport get there?>Oh right>>"Couldn't help but overhear you ladies....">Oh god no>If you're taking dick it's gonna be from a meathead parody of masculinity while your face is buried in some shade of blue taco>Plus, Bulk being a professional masseuse is kiiiiind of a turn-on.>Certainly not the dad bod guy who runs the couch and stationery store!"Heh, uh, bad idea to sleep with work contacts, y'know?">Christ, instant negative expression>Of all the ponies to be THAT kind of guy, you never would've expected->>"Sweet Celestia, no! I took a vow of celibacy! I was wondering why the hell you're gossiping about dates right now! Let's go already!"
Preb
>>42886609pretty hot
>>42886181"Alright, who's going down? Bulk?">"Wh- why me? I thought we were cool!">For the love of Horse-oos Christ, who went to the glue factory for our sins"What? You're the strongest, plus you have wings, don't they make it... easier... to... swim?">The offended stares from husband and wife suggest that, no, they don't"Alright, guess it's my turn to apologize for accidental tribism or something. Sorry.">Much murmuring and arguing ensues, creating a low roar of annoyance>Various forms of "why can't you do it? it's your idea!" are levied at both you and Bulk"Bulk's wings don't work so good underwater, in case you weren't listening, and as for me? I'm not that strong, physically speaking. Combine that with the shitass day I've had and I dunno if I could pump enough magic to unwedge that pole without making my eyes bleed.">Davenport looks up from the pile of gear, setting aside the fishbowl helmet he was pawing at. "This thing..... I think the mask won't properly fit a non-unicorn... what!?" He double checks, pointing at the top of the mask/goggle setup. "Yep- on account of that horn... holster?">He rubs his chin. "Didn't you say this belonged to Pinkie Pie?">You can't decide which is worse:>Pinkie somehow predicting this exact chain of events and leaving scuba gear for YOU specifically instead of just warning you not to bring those bath bombs>Or Pinkie actually being a unicorn.>Her mane IS pretty bushy, she could be hiding one for all you know.>Wait>Oh, you're retarded!"I think that extra space is for her pet gator. He's usually hidden on top of her head.">Several ponies are too eager to loudly agree with you. Seems they had the same fearspicions DAMMIT PINKIE>(Teehee)"Wait a second- why does it matter? it's a fishbowl helmet, you put it on your head and make sure it seals to the wetsuit. How is some extra forehead room gonna make it fail?">Davenport scrunches for a moment, but relents. "Specialist suits are made to order. Unicorn helmets I think have little switches you can hit with your magic; I assume they interface with your horn or something to monitor air and such. Earth pony suits usually have normal valves and buttons on a chest plate.">He points at the distinctly smooth rubber wetsuit. "I'd go down there but I literally cannot operate this suit safely on account of not being able to work the controls.">Okay>Pinkie really IS a unicorn!?>No, that's retarded, you'd know if she was cause she'd be learning new ways to be annoying from Twilight>"Captain Gummy, prepare the Pinkiesub for deployment" you can imagine her saying. And then a little gator in a littler captain's hat crawls up to the buttons and hits them manually while Pinkie goes 'AWOOOGA! AWOOGA!">Yeah, that sounds like her.
>>42888026>Fuck. Time to ask Trixie.>>"N-n-n-no.""But I-">>"Trixie has retained use of her ears.">Fuck. She's actually shaking, but she's the only other unicorn here.>No, Snips doesn't count. He's too tiny to fit the suit anyway."Scared of water?">>"Water's fine. Deep, dark water with a glass enclosure is the issue.""The glass is what keeps you alive, and you have a light and the suit probably has fancy electric lamps.">More shaking. You draw her into a hug and your teeth are chattering."You don't need to justify why you're scared, Trixie, but you're the only one strong enough to do anything down there AND able to work the suit.">>"mmmgrmble""Come on, this is your chance to be like Hoofdini-">She pulls away, a look of betrayal flashing across her eyes. Just a moment, then she thinks better of it?>>"Hoofdini died underwater!""Well- this isn't an escape artist trick, Trixie, it's-">>"Trixie witnessed personally!">Oh>Ohhhh fuck>You assumed Hoofdini died like a hundred years ago, same as Houdini.>If she'd attended his last show->Yeah that'd fuck any kid up. Miracle she didn't give up on stage magic.>Fuck>FUCK!>You trot over to Davenport and the gear.>He glances up at you, hoofs you the helmet. "Did a stint with the coast guard as a salvager, in case you were wondering.""I usually am, yeah. But celibacy? Was that-">A glare, a grimace, a mouth open to spit fire. You back up, lowering your head in what feels like a placating gesture"I don't want to sleep with you! You're not my type! I'm not even 100% sure what-">"No- you're- ugh. Yes, I was serious about being celibate. Got exposed to some strange hot rocks in a flooded mine, doctor told me 'don't ever breed.' Happy? I also have to get regular cancer filtering, doc said whatever it was, and I quote, 'fucked my now and future bloodline beyond repair.'">Well."Shit.... I got nothing, that shit sucks dude.">"Well, now you know, so don't go picking at that wound, alright? Now, I assume you're our diver?">Sigh"I'm not sure I'm up to it, but Trixie... uh, had a bad experience. PTSD kinda bad.">He sucks his lips in, in a mirthless smile. "Yeah... Alright then. I assume you have zero experience diving?""Ten-four.">"What?""Correct.">"Why di- whatever. Alright, put the helmet on without the suit or tanks. Reach out with your- don't look at me like that, I served in a mixed crew alright?">You nod and put the helmet over your head. Davenport starts to question your technique but thinks better of it.>"Ahhh, you should feel a signal coming from that gem embedded in the top fore- just, I'm not 100% sure of what word you'd use, reach out to it?">He's right, that signal is there and it feels like ants in your horn. And now it feels like nothing.>Why are you leaning on Davenport?>"Anon! Wake up!""AAAAA whatwhowhereOWMYFUCKINGHORN"
>>42888028>OWMYFUCKINGHORN"FROM WHENCE YOU CAME YOU SHALL REMAIN UNTIL YOU ARE COMPLETE AGAIN
>>42888377Holy fucking dubs, Beelzeboss!
Shiddle lit
>>42888921why's she so fluffy? someone needs to shave her
>>42888995it's her winter coat anon
>>42888995She's rigged for optimum softness
>Look, world!>I can create bastards!
>>42888028>Try to trot away>Why is the room flipping 90 degrees ohshitthat'stheedge>Something tries to pull your ass off of... your ass's ass?>"Woah there girlie, don't fall off the edge now!">Mooriel pulls on your rear while you climb...>No, scrabble>No, flail like a retard with all your legs>Whatever works, though>Your view is now obscured by a wall of cow on three sides>She's got you under her like a baby>"Alright there, flyboy, give her the shot!""What sh-OW!">Some kind of pneumatic injector gets rammed into your neck>Hurts like a motherFUCKER but your thoughts and vision clear a bit>Bulk taps his hoof in front of you, repeatedly. "You good? How many taps per pause?">Tap>Tap>Tap>>Ta-"Three?">"Ok, good. Don't drink booze for the next 24 hours and don't cast anything more than.. uhh...">He squints at a little booklet, "telekinetic field with a mass/weight displacement of less than... uhhhhhhhhh five pounds or 10 cubic inches?"
>>42890476cute anonfoal
>>42890676Looking flrward to your green, anon, but it's hard to follow your logic from post to post, it's clear you have an idea in your mind, but your execution in-writing is a bit off.
>>42890890That's (at least partly) intentional, since I try to write more from a character's internal monologue.Anon half passed out and tried to walk away in a daze, if that wasn't clear, hence the writing constantly being kind of behind what's actually happening to her right now.
>>42890476drop her
>>42890676"Fuck you mean "don't drink for 24 hours?">Bulk scratches the back of his head, laughing nervously"Well?">"Uh-">You try to shake your hoof at him, but find you can't do that right now without tipping over>Just retreat into loaf form"Ugh... fuck, I'm dizzy.. Seriously, what was in that shit!?">Another voice>Trixie?>Seems like she's yelling at the gym rat, but you can't quite make it out.>You do make out most of Bulk's response, though: "Davenport told me to grab the needle with wires sticking out of it, so that's what I did!">Squint>You don't remember Davenport saying anything like that>But he seems pretty honest>Probably a bad liar, too>Still, something- oh hi Trixie!>Trixie's here!>Your view of that flat-topped meathead has been replaced with premium blue belly!>That's great, everything's fucking great>Wait a second>Trixie's a cerulean. Somewhere between sky blue and blue-blue.>This is more of a navy blue.>Come to think of it, Trixie isn't made of rubber, right?>Oh, that's a hug>Trixie has hugged you before, but not as often as would be optimal>Woah, what time is it?>You got up early today, maybe rest your eyes a bit>...
preb'd
>>42891100Those are some big hips!
>>42890929I get that, but I mean it more so in general. It feels as if the narrator skipped a few lines and kept going without that missing context, it's kinda hard to follow the logic between any 2 posts of your green.
>>42891872hiding
>>42891908From social obligations
>>42828885I wanna fuck Anonmare on the couch like that. Just come home after a long day of work, tell her to just "lay right there, just like that", place the bowl of cheeseballs on the floor, spread her legs, and plap away until I cum. Please for the love of fuck someone draw this for me, I need it
>>42892094Anonstallion, please. the foals can hear you!
>>42892086We truly live in a pony society.
>>42892555Nothing wrong with them knowing how they were made!
>>42891872Spooky outside, is it not?
>>42893938Why you bringing up bug sex? It's just a little key and lock action.
>>42894332Bugs? It's just a in and out experience.
>>42894713super cute!
>>42892094Casual couch sex with a chubby Anonmare sounds hot as fuck.
>>42891535Trying to work with the criticism so I looked back a few posts and started rewriting and expanding them a bit. I feel pretty confident in writing a lot of short events and stringing them together (Anon and Trixie running around Ponyville getting into trouble on the way) but this is the first time I've tried writing a longer, coherent crisis sceneStarting at the last few lines of >>42880705, I'll post some edits. Lemme know if it's easier to follow.>After about a minute, Trixie speaks up.>"Perhaps the Pink One left a cache of dubiously legal objects in here? One that might contain something useful?">She gets close. Close enough for you to smell the mare smell on her.>"You are able to spot her hiding places... perhaps you could sus out one of her party stashes?""Worth a try, I guess...">If you were a Pinkie Pie Partypalooza Dead Drop and Tax Haven, where would you be?>No, seriously>Being able to spot her fuckass blue eyes in a bush is one thing>Not to mention 90% of the possible hiding spots are underwater right now anyway!>And so you start trotting around the perimieter of this island of->Well, safety is a strong word, but it ain't drowning at least>At least a few minutes pass, hard to tell with no watch>Bulk lands in your path, as quiet as a roided-up ungulate can>Which isn't very, but still. Looking very guilty too.>>And he's just>Standing there!>Well, more like hunching and looking around a lot>Dude almost landed on your head but he can't speak the fuck up??>Sigh"Alright man, what's up?">"So, uh, just remembered...">You turn the world 45 degrees clockwise>"Ye-e-e-e-es?">>Nervous eyes dart around, watching the skies>"Pinkie miiiiiight have stashed a...">The woosh of wings on your right shuts him up>Bulk leans in really close, whispers- "Scuba tank, somewhere">>>Well, that'd be perfect>Almost too perfect>Breathe>Don't blow up right now>Deep breath"And you're telling us NOW, because..?">His face gets redder; "It was a couple years ago, alright? I forgot...">Squint>Bulk is maintaining eye contact, but not overly so. No tells.>Huh. Is it really so unreasonable that he'd forget?>Probably not. Still->Your ear twitches.>Something tells you there's about to be emotional damage. You're developing a sixth sense for this.>Getting some nice mary sue pinkie copy powers would've been GREAT this morning, but fine, let's have them now! Better late than never!>Almost automatically, you stand aside to let The Trix off the leash, but it's Mooriel's voice that reams his ass instead.>>"He's hiding something! I knooOOOow the face of a rat!">"O-o-o-out with what!? I don't know where exact-">>"NooOOOOoo secrets! Unless you want the rescue crews to carry you out in a BUCKET!" She rolls her head in what could be a beckoning gesture at Trixie, "Trixie, tie him up! Gonna show him what me and the girls do to rodeo clowns!"
>>42895292>Your blue roommate (bluemate) (get out of my monologue, Pinkie) shrugs in an offended manner, as if to say "my pussy is nowhere near used enough to hide a ROPE, as much as I might wish otherwise!">They go back and forth like that for a bit>Mooriel finally gets fed up, lowering her head and scratching the ground>Bulk NARROWLY succeeds at not pissing himself, but fails to not be a dumbass>By that I mean he keeps stonewalling an angry, undersexed cougar of a cow>(A cowger!)>Fortunately, the meathead notices and takes off with a pussy-shriveling yelp, before Mooriel can try charging to her almost-certain death by drowning>"Geez, why is every mare, heifer and jenny in this town bucking NUTS!?""C'mon dude, what are you hiding?">For a second it looked like Bulk was going to come up to you and tell you; instead, his eyes went wide and he flew off with another 'yipe'>A steely blue foreleg taps you on the shoulder. Flitter managed to sneak up on you, it seems.>"The fuck's going on here? I've been circling this whole time and you and the cow are playing grabass with my husband? You still need me on lookout or not?">Huh, you never realized she had a New Jersey accent. Or whatever the pony equivalent is.>Wait- husband!?>Noticing your shock and embarassment, Flitter claps you on the shoulder. "Woah, he and I are pretty open. It's the 'me stuck in the air' part that's got me pissed, so what's going on?""As long as you can find that buried pole again-">She nods"-Then no, land for now. Sorry, I just wasn't- actually, do you know where Pinkie's scuba gear might be?">Her face screws up real bad at that. Come to think of it, you've never seen the twins that angry before.>She raises her voice to just below proper shouting, shooting Bulk an aside glance."That scuba tank better not be anywhere in the spa, the owners were VERY clear on that!">>>Perhaps noticing the higher-than-normal level of confusion on your face, she elaborates: "Pinkie wanted to be able to throw surprise parties in the whirlpool, but that meant being able to stay under for a long time. Aloe and Lotus told her to buck off with that...">Leaning back out, yelling in Bulk's direction- "AND THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE END OF IT, RIGHT!?">She starts tapping her hoof, waiting for Bulk to man up and get down here.>To his credit, he's not avoiding her, but his approach is made with all the speed and fanfare of a condemned to the electric chair.>Tappa>Whimper>Tappa>Whimper>She raises her eyebrow when he stalls about 10 paces from the platform.>He covers his mouth with trembling hooves, like a schoolfilly or something>A swish of a steel blue mane and his façade finally cracks. "OKAY! OKAY I THOUGHT IF I SNUCK HER GEAR IN SHE'D DO A STRIPPER PARTY, MAYBE EVEN PUT OUT!">>"YOU WHAT!?">Holy shit you can actually see steam coming out of Flitter's ears
>>42895396>We now go live to the Domestic Disturbance Derby!>Flitter!>Bulk Biceps!>One will bask in the glory of winning an argument!>The other will languish on the couch, or maybe some strange pony's bed, considering their open rel->Bulk zips away!>AND THEY'RE OFF!>WilliamTellOverture.mp3>An early start from Bulk! Will he leave Flitter in the dust?>>No! Flitter is hot on his trail! "GET BACK HERE, YOU SACK OF GLUE!">Bulk maintains his initial lead with a half-assed defense: "BABE IT WAS BEFORE WE WERE DATING!">>But Flitter keeps up without a sweat! "WE'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR FIVE YEARS YOU SHITASS!">Bulk counters with a hard sprint- "BABE, YOU KNOW I-">>Oh, but Flitter makes a daring drift maneuver! She overtakes him at the first turn! "DON'T 'BABE' ME! I DON'T CARE IF YOU FUCK OTHER MARES, IT'S PINKIE WHO'S THE PROBLEM! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THAT PUSSY'S BEEN!">Bulk Biceps manages to keep a stumble from becoming a trip! "PINKIE IS SUPER CLEAN! She takes health and safety way more serious than you'd think!">>But Flitter capitalizes on that wide opening! "YOU'RE REALLY SAYING THAT WHEN SHE PACKED ENOUGH HORSEAPPLES IN THOSE BOMBS TO PUT US IN THIS MESS?">Bulk's not out yet! "FRINGE CASE! MY FAULT! I ADMIT IT! JUST CHILL!">>They pull out of the second turn, neck and neck! "She's also AMISH! AND a ROCK FARMER! They worship a weird rock! They'll fuck ANYTHING it tells them to!">"So what!? I'LL fuck anyone YOU tell me to!">>"Oh, you're REALLY GONNA GO WITH THAT? HUH?">He's on the backfoot now! "A-A-A-Applejack's a farmer and you never care if-">>It's to no avail! Flitter matches every turn! "SHE RUNS THE SECOND BIGGEST BUSINESS IN TOWN! YOU KNOCK HER UP AND YOUR ENTIRE BLOODLINE'S IQ GOES UP BY TEN THOUSAND PERCENT!">OOOH, Bulk hit a protruding piece of candycloud! He's in a spiral! Flitter has him by the scruff!>>"YOU STILL DON'T GET IT! THAT PINK FUCKER IS GONNA GET US FIRED ONE OF THESE DAYS! NOPONY WANTS TO DEAL WITH HER!">Flitter has him by the ear! She's dragging him back to the starting line!>Bulk's still got some fight in him! "I thought we OW agreed on OW a TRADITIONAL marriage- Pegasopolis WATCHIT style! What's the big deal?">> "The big deal? THE BIG DEAL!?">OOOH, she tosses him on the platform like a sack of wet blankets!>Come on Bulk, one last chance to counter- "Pinkie is respectable! No drugs! No STDs!">>"First off, I don't trust any mare who can be THAT insane WITHOUT help! The real problem though, Mister 'I'll fuck anyone you tell me to'?">It's getting hard to hear her. Folks, I can almost SEE the aura around her going pitch black!>>"The REAL problem is you'll dick down ANY mare in town but your own sister in law! When's Cloudchaser getting that fat dick, huh!?">"She scares the buck outta me and I go soft! Come onnnn!!!">>"No! Do you have any idea how many stallions would KILL to have a threeway with twins!? What the fuck is wrong with you?">And just like that, Flitter takes the championship!
Pweb
>>42895292NTA, I deliberately held off mentioning this because I didn't want to affect the story's style in the middle, but I guess someone else already did that. Chaos is part of its charm and the writing contributes to that. The downside is it sometimes leaves the reader confused and requires re-reading some parts.The expanded parts are clearer and the added character interactions are great on their own. I'd say continue with the story for now, and rewrite the whole thing at ponepaste stage if you feel like it. I'd read it again in upgraded form.
>>42896284Princess of the Unknown
>>42896284>"What are you princess of misses princess anonymous?">"The unknown">"That doesn't make any sense.>"Exactly!"
>>42890975(Don't worry, Trixie's POV was always gonna be the next thing, this isn't more rewriting old stuff)>>42886181>Be Trixie>You're cool>Everything's cool>You laughed yourself breathless at the skank and gigolo air show, and got to amaze the crowd with your basic TK right afterwards>In hindsight, that scuba kit was right out in the open, but only its owner or a trained salvager would've thought to look underneath that floor panel>Yep>Got ple-e-enty to take your mind off of your future tomb filling with water I mean whaaaaaaat>Ha ha>No, the day is starting to get to you>Be strong, Trixie>Don't let the rubes see your fear! Do something!>You swivel your ears, looking for gossip or whatever. Anything to occupy your mind.>The Fat One is still awestruck by your greatness. T'would be great if he'd leave you alone and stop reminding you of that time he nearly killed you!>The couchmonger is checking the equipment you helped dredge up.>Bulk and Flitter are off on the far side. Seems their fighting has turned to planning the make-up sex.>Weren't they loudly yelling about their open marriage? Could be an opportunity.>Anon's over there, too- Bulk is glancing at his watch, Flitter bops him on the head->Anon... The only pony who seems to actually care about you these days.>Well, time to shoot your shot. Walk over there, bump her rump, whisper in her ear!"Oh, they're totally gonna hatefuck. Think we could get in on that?">She gives you a blank stare in return. Shit! Be cool!>"You and me? With him? Or her?""Yes.">"You travel too much- you saw how she reacted to Pinkie. Flitter's scared of your exotic cunt.">DAMMIT>She's out of your league and she knows it, she's just too nice to say it!>You can't just ask her out- she's technically your landlord, and you don't have any money for a date!>No, your only hope is to get into an orgy and somehow impress her!>>>Buck, you're stupid. So stupid that you start laughing at your stupid thoughts-"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAi'mactuallyavirgin-">Smooth. Smoother than your brain, even.>She's staring in shock. Damage control, NOW!"I totally COULD have gotten laid, y'know, but silphium costs money! Don't want to be squeezing a bastard out on the road, y'know?">Uh huh.>You fucked that up, you just know it, but thankfully the couchmonger approaches to save you from this humiliating conversation!>>"Couldn't help but overhear you ladies-">"Heh, uh, bad idea to sleep with work contacts, y'know?">Damn>You practically leave a lit runway to your marehood and she shoots you down, even when she's so horny she thinks the celibate guy wants to fuck.>That's ok. A friend is still a nice thing to have, even if you'll forever wonder if you could've been more.
Important PSA
>>42896284she'd be the best teacher around!
>>42896742This story freakin rocks my man.
>>42897560wow! look at her go!
>>42898206I do say, gentleponies. This mare is quite fine in taste!
Rainbow Dash going too far pranking Anonmare!
>>42898674Rainbow Dash breaking her neck because Anon put bars over her windows like an inner city liquor store
>>42867575>"I just think they're tasty">Twilight couldn't believe this>Even after she explained how they're poisonous to equines>Anon still ate them>Even weirder, she didn't get sick
>>42899174how does the pinkie sense work and how can anonmare get her own sense
>>42899393The Pinkie Sense is magical arthritis where instead of feeling stormfront in her joints she can feel The Plot happeningAnon already has her own senses in the form of being able to see through toon logic visual comedy. See, for ponies, just crouching in a bush actually does hide you- but not from Anon, your bright-ass fur remains visible.
>>42893311>pre-giving head
Merry Christmas fellow green mare lovers!
>>42899748You smell like 14 year old expired old spice shampoo you fucking wallet
>>42899752>"You fucking wallet"
>>42899752I know what you are
>>4289977615 year old old spice shampoo now you notebook
Merry Christmas to all anonmarechads!
>>42899889she smokin :D
>>42900967not the choco drink D:
>>42901748I thought it was whiskey...
>>42896742>Davenport reacts about how you'd expect.>>"-took a vow of celibacy! I was wondering why the hell you're gossiping about dates right now!">Funny how Anon doesn't know that about him, but you do>Huh, he used that 'hell' word Anon uses a lot>You suppose he and Anon have a working relationship, plus ponies often mimic each other in subtle ways. Herd psychology and all that.>...but if he's close enough to her to do that, why does she not know- nevermind>In all fairness, you basically offered to sleep with him the night you rolled into town. Anon is neither that desperate nor that blunt, so it's entirely understandable that she'd not have been informed.>Well, that thought has run its course. Shall we persue another, or contemplate mortality?>Ah, Anon is asking around about dive volunteers. This should be distracting for a while.>Swivel your ears for more scuttlebutt!>Pinkie Pie bought a unicorn scuba helmet? Sure.>Pinkie Pie did it so her gator could ride in the extra headroom? Possibly the least unhinged idea she's ever had."YEP, THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE PINK MENACE ALRIGHT!">A chorus of other beings agrees with you. Suspicious? Possibly->Wait.>Unicorn helmet.>You, Snips and Anon are the only unicorns here. Anon's strength has been flagging, and the hayburger orb child is too short to wear the suit properly>Oh no>You?>Stuck underwater?>With a glass bowl separating you from drowning?>Contemplating mortality it is, then!>Force your way to the center, as far from the water as you can!>Pass Anon, who is about to ask if you can-"N-n-n-no.">"But I-" (haven't even said anything, you assume was her intended statement?)"Trixie has retained use of her ears.">Settle down right there, next to the large and sturdy bovine female.>Ignore how your teeth are chattering IT'S THE ROOM NOT YOU OK?>BUCK>TRAPPED IN A CONCRETE TOMB>BUCK>WATER'S RISING>BUCK>JUST LIKE HOOFDINI BUT AT LEAST HOOFDINI LEFT A LASTING IMPRESSION ON THE CROWD>BUCK>WILL YOU EVEN MANAGE THAT MUCH?>BUCK>THIS PHILISTINE TOWN HATES YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE ART>BUCK>Ignore how nopony has been accosting you save that idiot busybody! It's panic attack time!>BUCK>BU->(There is rather a lot of this)
>>42902037Ah yeah it is with the whiskey glass, oops!
>>42902899so drunk ;(
>>42903070She's only sad because the bottle broke, dw
>>42903635but the bits wasted on that hurt
>>42903658She was supposed to be hurting her liver, not her wallet :c
>"Dammit Twilight just sign my fucking petition"
>>42904442funny luna, has anonmare (or filly) interacted with Woona?
>>42905311Woona has been disgusted and terrified by Anon's dreams of being tied up and sexually abused by her (Woona doesn't want to tie ponies up, that's nightmare moon shit)
>>42906036Great, one signature for 'throw a pie at Celestia," 999 more to go!
>>42904442very cute, I love this pic
>>42902335>You're not 100% sure what happened next>Anon followed you, talked to you>She tried to psych you up>First with rational explanations>Then with genuine, though ill-advised, comparisons to your idol>It all kinda went in one ear, out the other>Then she left>She's over there, on the edge, to your left>Talking to Davenport, inspecting the gear>And>You're just sitting here, rocking back and forth>Pathetic, aren't you?>Anon is a great friend>Despite how exhausted she must be from this absolute disaster of a day, she volunteers without a second thought?>Heh>Maybe things will be alright>Anon will stop the water, then we'll have all the time in the world to wait for rescue>Feels like it's been at least an hour- rescue could get here before the water reaches your hooves anyway!>You'll be in your own bed by tonight->Well, considering the tie-dye filth on your fur, maybe sleeping on your own floor is a better idea>But it'll all work out, that's the imp->"OWMYFUCKINGHORN!">Ice in your veins, snaps you out of your funk>The source of the noise: Anon>Anon is in a blind daze, stumbling about, right on the edge-NO>Your horn glows as you reach out to reel her in. Bad angle, heavy mare, panic mode!>It's not enough, but it buys time for your bovine pillow to get up and run>Mooriel grabs Anon's tail, muttering some no-doubt adorable Whinnyapolisism you can't quite make out from this distance>With a bit of effort, she drags a green sack of flailing limbs back to the center and parks it under her barrel>Phew>A minute or so passes>Anon seems half-asleep. She keeps looking around with an unsteady head; you're not sure how much she's actually *seeing* right now.>She's frothing at the mouth a little>Her face twitches rather harshly->Wait>Her horn is smoking. Did it spark a little when her face seized up?>Yes it d- that's a red tear. That's blood out her eyes->Intermittent consciousness, seizures, involuntary gathering of Power, crying blood>Oh buck, you recognize this. Thaumic burn- she's exhausted to the point that her horn is quite literally burning fat reserves directly, and destroying membrane tissue in the process.>She'll cripple or kill herself if this isn't dealt with>There was a first aid kit on the wall, wasn't there?>Yes!>You rip the box off its mounting, and you don't treat the box or its lid much better>Frantically tossing aside packets of dewormers, splints, bandages, OTC painkillers that don't do shit->No no no"Comeoncomeoncomeon even the cheapo premades have one!">There!>At the very bottom, beneath a packet of colloidal silver leaflet, your prize:>A pneumatic hypodermic, filled with a bright red solution. Flecks of blue and streaks of silver float within.>Every unicorn in Celestia's school is informed of these. Shake it up, then pull the tab out of the base to "arm" it.>"Alright there, flyboy, give her the shot-" Mooriel calls out. "-Oh, it's you. Thought Bulk was handling the first aid."
>>42904442How much mooney (moon rocks) does the bank of moon have?
>>42907670Approximately one moonillion
>>42908471'Bout tree fiddy
>>42908704sleepy with the debussy book lol
>>42909024She should've finished on de Bach
>>42899748is anonmare okay here?
>>42909646Is Anonmare ever ok?
