>What is Flutterrape?Flutterrape is a collection of stories about ponies trying and failing to have sex with Anon, the only human in Equestria. While the title implies that it is Fluttershy trying to rape Anon, others may follow in her stead and attempt their own versions of rape. There are different versions of Flutterrape, but most are light-hearted comedies about the ponies failing in their attempts to get into Anon’s pants. Just because your story has Anon in it, doesn't mean it fits in this thread. Check other threads (AiE, RGRE etc) about story content before posting.>It's been 12 years, how is this thread still alive?A perverse mixture of necromancy and spite.>How do I start writing?Use your imagination, you nitwit. Additionally, brush up on your grammar and abandon your standards.Writing Guides:Clever Dick's Tips For Short Stories -- https://ponepaste.org/1274Driverbang's Writing Guide -- https://ponepaste.org/1275Navarone's Writing Rules -- https://ponepaste.org/1276For additional information, lurk or ask. You could also check out the T:EM/P/O or /bale/ threads for further writing advice, unless they're dead.So many threads have died, but only Flutterrape has remained. We shall always remain. We are bound to the fate of the board as a lich is bound to its phylactery. Welcome, anonymous.////Masterlist: https://ponepaste.org/user/FlutterrapeGeneralAuthor List: https://ponepaste.org/1270FIMfiction Group: http://www.fimfiction.net/group/211640/flutterrapeRequest Bin: https://ponepaste.org/1268Thread Archive: https://desuarchive.org/mlp/search/text/Flutterrape/previous thread: >>42804668
New thread! New thread!
only in ohio bruh :skull:
>>42841436THE SIZE OF THOSE EARS
>>42841452No, fluttershy. Big ears are not my fetish.
>>42841436Good lord that ear is consuming her face.
>Ears.
Yeeeah, work that grill baby.
>>42841436This is the universe where it's My Little Fennec Foxes
>>42841808She's going to fly away with those.
>>42841436Wow she's ear-redeemingly ugly
>>42841808Me when a mare is talking (I'm listening and learning)
>>42841946>When you genuinely have the oven on at home but some random pony is propositioning you for sex.
>>42841935Who exactly is this blue hoodie guy?
>>42842159Someone only boomers would know.
>>42842315He looks familiar. Do you have a name?
>>42842315>boomers>26 year olds remember him
>>42842159Lurk moar
>>42842347Fuck you, I don’t lurk. I don’t hide. Speak up if you want to be useful.
>>42842337That’s a tired mare
>>42842398>Doesn't know Carlos from The Magic School Bus>Doesn't know how to save images on his Fisher Price phoneYou have to be 18 or older to be on this site
>>42842674Knew it. I just don’t remember names that much. Knew it was the magic schoolbus. Haven’t seen that show in a while. Also, this phone sucks ass. I press the save button. And it doesn’t save. Not even to files.>Save to photos.>Nothing happens.It’s bullshit. Also, I am young. Yes. But not that young.
>>42841946Blah, blah, blah. Just talk your ear off.
>>42842674>spoonfeeding newfagsGood grief
>>42842696Proof fucking positive every one of these idiots with a flag is a fucking retard beyond definition.
Who doesn't know carlos?
>>42842674Smartphones are the number one leading cause for tech illiteracy.
>Darkness falls.>The glow and crackle of burning buildings surrounds you.>All about you confused and defeated ponies run to and fro, a screaming chorus of defeat, fear, and estrus.>Ponyville is reduced to ruin. The defeat of Equestria is imminent.>After reading about the mysterious "humans" from beyond the veil, Princess Cadance foolishly decided that they should invade this "Earth" and conquer humanity to be MARED.>Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Twilight Sparkle, and Shining Armor made sure that Equestria's army was dressed to the nines for this war of subjugation.>Magic, check>Weapons, check.>Armor. check.>Potions, check.>Poison joke, check.>Crystal Heart, check.>Alicorn Amulet, check.>Elements of Harmony, check.>They weren't taking any chances on this war, they would give the whole nine yards.>One country after another they would conquer Earth and take the humans as breeding slaves to be MARED.>Ponies were faster and stronger than humans, they wagered.>Plus they had magic and flight.>The only aspect where human stamina outperformed ponies was during mating, and that's what they were there after.>The humies would easily crumple over against the formidable Equestrian invasion force.>So they thought.>Little did they anticipate the connection portal would open up to one of the most Darwinian shitholes in Earth history.>War, famine, and plague had ravaged this landscape for ages.>The passage of time did little to tame the savagery of the humans who inhabited this domain, if anything they became even worse.>A truly desolate and inhospitable wasteland, except to those native there.>The scum of the entire human race made this hellscape their home.>And they were the first line of resistance to the Equestrian pony armies that sallied forth to conquer Earth.>Also the last.>Truly the realm of the most savagely insane and evil humans to ever grace the planet.>Florida.>Meth addicts, swamp dwellers, alligator rapists, bad drivers, golfers, retirees.>Equestria's military cohort was driven back in shambles to their world.>Fear and confusion gripped the ponies even further when they witnessed "Florida man tries snorting friendship dust to see if it will make him high" on the news.>As word spread across the rest of the USA, the Floridians were reinforced by conscripted units from across the country.>After word reached national news it was only a matter of time before a computer programming wizard managed to hack Equestria's magical communications network>For spamming Celestia's letters with anti-pony slurs, of course.>You gaze upward, filled with American(and human) pride.>Once again, war was the country's greatest export.>You feel a hoof paw at your side.>"Umm, Anon, so I know my side lost the war, but, now that we're together, I thought we could, umm, you know...">You glare down at Yellowrat."Shouldn't you be hanging from a noose right now?">She grins up at you smugly.>"Pegasi can fly, silly.">Fucking peggers.
>>42843249What other defeated horses are about?
what is flutterrape?
>>42843249So what do you do when the pony's teats aren't that big?
>>42842897>>42842893I am no coward. I will not lurk, hide, or keep back a question. I am not like you. I do not cower if I don’t know something. I ask. And that makes me smarter than you ever will.
>>42843831The description is up top, but basically. Flutterape is a mlp fanfiction genre where someone tries to get in Anons pants. Usually via dubious means. This could be comedic or serious. But usually it is comedic. This originated from stories of fluttershy being a creep and branched off to other characters.
>>42844130Reddit is down the hall and to the left
>>42844174I came here for flutterrape specifically. Also, I have no clue how to use Reddit. And I don’t want to figure it out. I am in Fourchan now for good. FOURchan. Let’s get back to talking about flutterape, shall we. Your stupid arguments bore me.
>>42844174>he says this while on the reddit s0yb0y general
Flaggots really are the scum of the earth.
>>42844180alpha response desu
>>42844227>Asks questions.>Uses intentional features.>Is kind to other anons and answers questions.Oh yes. I am the Scum here.
>>42844227It’s faggots not flaggots learn proper grammar newfag
>>42844267>Too stupid to figure anything out on it's own>HAS to stand out on an anonymous websiteYep. Scum. Go back to whatever discord server you crawled out of and then kill yourself.
>>42844327I am devoted to my pone. Asking questions with my fellow man is the greatest ability mankind has to offer. It’s sad you will never understand that. I hope you rethink your own actions and words. I hope you change for the better, anonymous.
>>42844339I hope you fucking die newnigger. You aren't special for choosing to be retarded. You aren't some profound genius because you refuse to google shit. Cancer like you is what killed the internet.
>>42844351>>42844339
>>42844351I am on a run with my dog. Cold air in my lungs. Crunchy leaves underfoot. I am smiling. I am happy. I choose to act dumb because it’s funny. Being underestimated is truly a wonder. I pity you, really.
>>42844360I hope you get hit by a bus and your dog gets rabies.
>>42844371I hope you win the lottery and live a good life.>>42844359lol.
Rarity cannot rape. I WANT to fuck her.
>>42844484Thats her way of Raping you. She makes you want it. Dont fall for that trap, anonymous.
>is wakes after FINALLY getting you >she stares on unsure how to go on
>>42844484Fluttershy won't like that. She'll put on a Rarity costume for you.
>>42844513Nice gif
>>42844513Neckbeard fat sky-rat.
>she'd cook you breakfast, with her butt
>>42845065What you wake up to on a Sunday morning. (You didnt let her in).
>>42836261Still have yet to make that BatPony green. But I promise it’s gonna be good. Maybe.
>>42845065Dangerously anthro.
It's Tuesday and another installment of How to be Dense has dropped.https://ponepaste.org/11423
>>42845551Will check it out when I can.
>>42845490I think it hit the point.
>You are Anonymous.>And it is night time.>Cold air. >Starry sky.>Silent town.>And most importantly, a severe lack of ponies up and about.>While you don’t really hate ponies. Not really.>It can be tiring dealing with so many… well, the polite word would be suitors. >You just don’t like to fuck around.>That is why night time is the best to be wandering these streets.>Most ponies, besides the stalker of a princess that is Luna, dont come out at night. >And what a wonderful night it is.>One of the few things you do like about equestria compared to your… previous home.>You walk the street. Eyes on the sky. Peaceful and unbothered->”Hey handsome~” >… was that in your head…?>You look down.>And there it is. A waist high pony.>I guess it makes sense you didnt see her. She is quite short.“Err… Hello?” >She looks up at you with a self assured smirk. One that you have seen many times before.>Looks like it’s going to be one of those kind of interactions…>”Lurking under the stars I see.”>She begins to circle you with a prance. Eyeing you up.>She seems to be… huh, how didnt you notice it until now. It’s a batpony. >Blue hair. Purple-ish bow in her hair… and on her tail it seems. And a choker. Huh, never seen a choker on a pony. Thats new.>Other details you miss. It is a dark night after all.>Oop, you have been staring. Hopefully she doesn’t take that as you being interested in her. >”Interested, hun? I don’t blame you. You must have never seen a mare like me~”>Damn it, before you could speak. Although, she is somewhat correct. You have only seen batpony nightguards. So seeing one out of uniform is new->Stop staring at her and speak, Anonymous.“Uh, I guess I have never seen a batpony that wasnt in uniform. Im anon. Nice to meet you miss…?”>You extend a hand to her as she smiles up at you. Eyes half lidded. >”Lucky Roll… and it seems I have gotten lucky tonight~”>She reaches up with a bat wing and uses the end to run it up your arm from your hand.>You pull your hand away.“Uh, sorry miss. I am not really interested in that. Im just out here for a nightly stroll.” >You give a halfhearted smile full of teeth.>She rolls her Eyes and steps closer. Still with that self assured smirk.>Whelp, you tried. Seems you will have to take drastic measures soon.>She puts a hoof on your thigh. >”I don’t believe that for a second, honey. You look like you buck bats~ and heres one right in front of you~”>And there it is. >She takes her hoof off you. Her eyes look up at you lustfully. You would think they have hearts in them if you didn’t know better.
>>42846568>”You buck bats, dont you?~ Why not give in, baby?~ I don’t take no for an answer, stud~”>She keeps repeating something about fucking bats. The tip of one of her wings touching her bottom lips. >Is she drooling?>You raise an eyebrow. Is she trying to gaslight you? She keeps looking into your eyes and repeating words about fucking bats.>Oh shit! Is she like a vampire or something!? Is this supposed to be like hypnotic? >Ha! A pony already tried that. Didnt work.>”Buck bats~ Buck bats~ Buck bats~”>This is kinda getting annoying, honestly. >You take a step back.>She takes a step forward.>Okay. Drastic measures now it seems…>This is getting too rapey for you.>Shes got big ears…>And batponies always brag about their heightened senses…>You have a perfect plan, anonymous.>Her eyes dart off your own when you put your hand near her ear. The palm facing up. She looks at it in confusion. >”What the?”>You crash your other hand down on the other. Palm to Palm. Making a clapping sound that will soon echo through the neighborhood and off all the houses.>But before that happens, the batpony instantly recoils back holding her hooves over her ears and doing a very… weird screech.>”EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!”>She falls back before writhing on the ground. >Sheesh. You look around awkwardly. >Okay, time to get out of here. >You jog off into the night. Feeling somewhat bad for her.>But you stay unmolested, Anonymous.
>>42846568>>42846570Finally. I completed it. While on the shitter and standing nakado in the mirror. WOO HOO!!!
>>42846570Brilliant play by Anon. Buck off bat.
>>42846741Truly, an intelligent anonymous.
>>42846583Flutters watched the entire time. She’s very proud.
>>42847100Genuinely made me check my windows. I should stop roaming my house naked. I can’t help it. I am fucking hot.
>>42846570Good stuff
>>42847278Gracias, Amigo.
>>42846570That was hilarious, thanks anon!
>>42847474Glad I can make you laugh. :D
>>42847503Is anon going to be introduced to the batpony world? Is this the way my stories are going.
>>42847503News Flash is a biased source.
>pg6
>>42846568>And a choker. Huh, never seen a choker on a pony. Thats new.Stop bringing the choker incident up, you'll make Fluttershy cry again
>>42848145Bullying is necessary.
>>42847956She’s sick in the head.
>>42848583And she'll slip in your bed tonight
>>42848679I wonder if sleeping with a bear trap next to me is a good idea...
>>42847777Quads Confirm.Fake News.
>>42848750I think you should get a mare trap instead.
>>42848145>You'll make Fluttershy cry again.Good.
>>42848145Lucky Roll stole fluttershys choker confirmed.
>>42848755That probably burns her the most. Being called Fake News. She hates that mare.
I want to fuck Rarity. She cannot rape me.
>>42849011>Rarity trying her best at sending subliminal messages.
This mare is a Police Officer.There is no need to be alarmed or upset.Simply lie on your back with your hands behind your head and do everything the nice Police mare tells you to do.
>>42849082I choose to run away
>>42849082Hmm… wait a minute… is that a tag on her hat!? Thats a costume! They don’t even have police in ponyville!
>>42849082All rapist ponies can be subdued with a roundhouse kick.
>>42849194Roundhouse kick ponies. Punt ponies. Launch ponies. Blind ponies with flashlights. Throw cheese at ponies. Discombobulate ponies. Hogtie ponies. Vocally berate ponies. Put tennis balls on the horns of ponies. Dump water on the wings of ponies. Close the door in front of ponies faces. Dropkick ponies. Wet Willy ponies.
>>42849199Shotguns also work.
>>42849207You gotta go nonlethal in equestria. Otherwise you go to pony jail.
>>42849256
>>42849297Please don't shoot! I have no idea where that shot will go.
>>42841935my wife is not ugly, carlos
>>42849383This post was made by butter colored hooves.>>42849297Woah! What do you want, Derpy?
>>42841436Requesting Sour Sweet.
>>42849450Who? Got a pony pic for that one?
>>42849450Yeah. What kind of pony is she? I have been itching to make a green. Give a picture.
>>42849450That bitch aint even a pony. No green for her.
The fuck are we doing on pg7 get your shit together ladsCan't let that chaos snake come back I don't have my descaling knives out right now
>>42849727Nobody posts greens! Nobody wants to have conversations! What do we fucking do!?
>>42849745Sorry anon it’s a work day, I’ve enjoyed your green if it’s any consolation
>>42849745Uh, shit, file for divorce!
>>42849531Oh yeah?
>You are Anon.>And you are at the Grand Galloping Gala after receiving an invite from Twilight Sparkle.>Well, "invite" is an understatement.>Apparently Spike can send letters to other individuals than Celestia.>And Purplesmart wrote in her letter to you that if you refused to go she would use her sway with the monarchy to have you arrested and extradited to Zebrica for a month-long "diplomatic mission.">Which- you can't believe you're actually conceding this- sounds about 10x worse than being stuck with Butterquiet.>You're here under duress.>You've only just showed up and already all eyes are on you.>Some keep their gaze fixed on you out of suspicion, the other rough half convey their thoughts through their gaze that they have... another idea.>Humans especially have a bad rap here after last year's Gala. A group of expert thieves managed to work out how to use changeling magic for themselves.>They transformed themselves and slipped through security with stolen guard uniforms and fake IDs.>Equestria was preparing to cede a massive tribute of gold bullion to Yakyakistan. It was gone the morning after.>Hundreds of billions of bits worth of gold.>Rumor has it that they high-tailed it for Griffonstone before they could be found and arrested. Those Anons and the gold was never seen again.>The princesses pulled every string they could. By the skin of their teeth they just barely prevented a war that likely would have killed hundreds of thousands of ponies(unfortunately).>Turn around to see a guardstallion already sidled up right behind you.>He austerely looks your over before moving in even closer.>You two are practically sharing breath as he fixes his eye to yours.>"Don't try anything funny tonight, human. I've got my eye on you.""You and everypony else here. Don't think you're gonna score with me. I don't play hoofball for that team, faggot.">"I-I!">He pulls backs and sputters, stupefied.>You have to stifle a snicker with his jaw hanging almost to the floor and his eyes wide as dinner plates.>He's blushing hard, too. Red as a beet.>"Th-that's not what I meant, idiot! We haven't forgotten about what YOUR type did last year. If I catch you stealing anything I will haul you straight off to the dungeons.">He closes the distance again and bores into you with his eyes again. Apparently he thinks this makes him seem intimdating.>"You know what happens to humans when they're imprisoned with a bunch of criminal mares?""Yeah every fucking guard that has stopped me has threatened me with this same damn story. I get the point by now.">He narrows his eyes until they're almost slits.>He grumbles as he trots off with his gaze still fixed on you. He tries to be quiet but you can at least make out a slur.
>>42849849>Turn around and find the nearest aristocrat who looks like they know their way around here.>Some monocle-wearing faggot with a tuxedo."Hey, yeah you. I need help with-">He screams at the sight of you.>"A human! Don't hurt me! I only have 1000 bits!">Shields his face and cowering in fear.>Not gonna lie, 1000 bits is probably more money than you've ever seen in one place.>You almost consider it for a moment before deciding to play it safe.>Not trying to get sent to the dungeons with yet another charge on your record, though.>You were pretty familiar with the prospect of roughing up the weaker stallions in Ponyville when you were short on extra dosh, but 1000 bits sounded like it was approaching felony territory.>You'd be stuck performing a lot of "favors" for the Twilight and the princesses to have them drop that.>Last time Celestia offered you a deal you tried to argue that was quid pro quo, but she laughed you off and reminded you that she was princess over all Equestria.>Life in this hellhole isn't fair."Actually I just wanted to know where they were serving alcohol. Hopefully I can get sloshed so I don't have to remember this horrible night.">"Alcohol?">Fuck. So they're not serving booze here.>Whirl around and prepare to head off into the opposite direction when you bump into another equine mass.>Tall, lanky unicorn, pink hair. Reeks of perfume.>Off to a bad start already.>"Oh, monsuier! Excuzes moi, belle homme!">And she speaks hairy armpit cheese-snarfer on top of that."Uhhh, oui? Parlez vous... uh, normal?">"Oui!">"Tell me, handsome, do you believe in... love at first sight?">She's biting her lip, her eyes are half-lidded.>She starts stroking your hair with one of her front hooves.>Already off to a bad start.>Wait. Lightbulb goes off.>You get a devilish idea.>You wonder if your memory of Earth history might be useful here.>You grin at frog-eater pony."Guten Abend, mein kleines Pferdchen.">She drops the foreleg she was holding up to touch your hair. In terror, her eyes shrink to pinpricks.>She throws herself to the ground and covers her head with her front hooves, she's trembling now.>"NON! Sil vous plait, I surrender!">Goteem.Here's what I got so far for a GGG green while we're trudging along. More to come later.
>>42849850Noticed I made a couple fuckups so I'll focus on cleaning those up as I update the story. Will probably post the completed(or at least improved) version on the next FR thread.
>>42849813Why thank you.>>42849814But that makes you more liable for unwanted mare advances!>>42849831… Yeah. Saw that too. But I do not know that character enough to write her.
>>42849850I like it. But how tall are these ponies?>stroking your hair.>sharing breath. Gotta keep an eye on heights. But I like it so far.
>>42849892Oh shit that's a good point. I guess I'll just say for now that the guard was uniquely big and Anon had Fleur beat by just enough so that she had to tilt her head back to look at him. But I appreciate that being pointed out.
>>42849903Yup. Also like the potentially closeted guard. Anons rizz power knows no bounds. You write other stuff?
>>42849911Still working on the duel story but I cooked up the green where they invaded Florida if you caught that one. Used to write fanfiction back when I was in high school so I guess I'm benefitting from prior experience.
>>42849919Oh yeah. I remember that one. I liked it. I have no prior writing experience. lol. Besides the past few flutterrape greens I have made. If you see the poster with a derpy flag. It’s most likely me.
>>42849850If only Anon was with those other Anons during their Ocean 11 heist. To be swimming in gold.
>tfw Fluttershy is raping Anon in your restaurant again>tfw you'll be the one who has to clean it up
>>42850232What a miserable wagie.
>Page 9"Welp, (You) know what that means.""Get undressed.""Now."
>>42850642You forgot to bump
And we’re already back on 8
Who should I write about next? I want to write but I do not know of whom I should write.
>>42851106Luna trying to get through to Anon in his dreams?
>>42851115Thats a nice one. Wanted to brush up on my Shakespearian aswell.
>>42850232Make Anon clean it up, he's the one who showed up.
>>42851073I think people in this thread want to have sex with Eris.
>>42841436This is incredibly gay. What the fuck is this fanfic shit?
>>42851325If you didn’t read it, it’s basically You, anonymous, trying to not get raped. It’s called Flutterape but it is not only fluttershy that can go after anonymous. Usually comedic.
>>42851356I think that’s a bot. Fluttershy has employed those for reverse psychology nonsense.
>>42851382Nah.Just another demoralization troll.
>>42851410>>42851382Whatever keeps us from the clutches of Eris…
>>42851301You can't have sex with a tube worm.
>8RUN PEOPLE! RUN!
>>42851986Close call
>>42851115Luna green coming real soon. Writing right now.
>>42851106>>42851115>>42852151>You are anonymous. >Your back is sore and your legs are… you know what actually. Your whole body is fucking sore. It was a rough day.>In front of you is your bed.>No alarms.>No night time visitors.>The whole house is locked up.>You are safe.>You fall forward.>And now you are lying down on your bed. Wrapping yourself in the blanket.>Pillow tucked under your head. >Eyes closed. >Goodnight, Anonymous…>You open your eyes.>But you don’t really, do you?>This isn’t your room. You’re not in your bed. And you aren’t awake.>This is a dream. And dreams are not something you usually have. >This can only mean one thing.>”Greetings once again, Anonymous.”“Oh my gosh.” >You whisper to yourself pitifully as the princess of the night speaks behind you. Your hand holding the bridge of your nose between your fingers.>One day. One day is all you ask for.>Maybe if you stand there and don’t turn around she will lose interest. >”Anonymous?” >Dont turn around. Any attention is good attention to these mares. >”Anonymous.”>She says sternly. Her metal shoed hoof hitting the ground. >Seems like you are in a room with marble ground or something.>It is a dream after all. >Her dream.>“ANONYMOUS.” >The Royal canterlot voice booms at you from behind.“What!? What is it!?”>You turn around to find her angry expression. >She straightens herself out as you look at her. Giving herself a seductive smile and wearing half lidded eyes.>She is also wearing lingerie. And a bed that you wish you didn’t recognize as her actual bed sits behind her.>The sight in front of you is one that could quell a stallion and fire them up all the same.>But you are no stallion. “What do you want?” >You ask. Deadpan and to the point.>Her veneer fades in confusion for a moment. >She rebuilds it and holds it for a moment. ‘Come hither’ plastered all over her face.>You raise an eyebrow at her. >She pouts and hunches. The lingerie disappearing like a mist.>”Is that seriously not enough for you?”>She squints at you like you just broke her entire understanding of courting someone of the opposite gender. >”You continue to break our entire understanding of courting with the opposite gender, anonymous.”>Huh, bingo.“I have already formally and informally said no to your many advances, Luna.”>You cross your arms at her. No gadgets for you today. Or tonight rather. You can’t really control this dream it seems.>”So it would seem…”
>>42852253>She smirks once more. Self assured now. >”No matter. You have nowhere to run from us- me.”>Shes takes a step forward like a wolf on the prowl. >”All ours. For the night, at least.”>Oh shit.>Shes matches your steps backwards.>This is bad. No gadgets. Nowhere to run. You can’t distract her in her own dream. And you can’t harm her because that would land you in jail…>She licks her chops.>Hurting her would land you in jail…>Youre in a dream…>Your cautious look morphs into an excited expression. >This is a dream! And a Dream come true!>You match her grin and step forward. >”Did you finally find your sense, dear anony-“>Before she can even finish that sentence, you lift your knee high. Crashing it into her chin.>The hit shocks her and probably made her bite her tongue. A very weird sound coming from her vocal cords as she recoils back. “Ha! No laws!”>She stumbles away and spits blood onto the ground.>She huffs like a bull.>”If we have to beat you into submission, we will!” >She rears up as she speaks.>Not that you are listening as you take a running start, jump into the air, tuck your legs, plant your feet on her barrel, and push!!>She launches as you perform a perfect dropkick. >She yelps as she hits a wall.>You ‘oof’ as your body hits the floor. >You recover quicker than her as you get up and move to her. >She practically squeaks with wide eyes as you grab her and press her back against your chest.>”What art thou intentions!?!?” >She yells as she panics. Her wings stretched out to the sides.“Youre time is up. My time is now!” >You proceed to pick up the princess of the night and suplex her over your back. >Her head hits the marble floor of the dream world-“You cant see me!” >You yell dazed. Jolting up in your bed. >Mission accomplished.“My time is now…”>Your head plops back onto the pillow as you head back to sleep.>You, anonymous, get your dreamless slumber once more…>Thou art, Princess Luna. >Thou hast awakened… to a wet bed.>Beaten in thy own dreams…>Yet, pray tell, wherefore dost thou enjoy it so?>Something more for thee to think on, one would surmise.>As thy hoof trails lower to… finish what thou started…
>>42849849>>He closes the distance again and bores into you with his eyes again. Apparently he thinks this makes him seem intimdating.Doesn't it?
>>42852255What?
>>42852254She liked being hit, because of course she did. Such an insatiable beast.
>>42852274She likes the feeling of being tamed and bested in battle…
>>42852255Come on, Nonny. Don't be a pushover.>>42852253>>42852254Good work.
>>42852306Thank you very much. :D
>>42852255Just makes his smell more potent.
>>42851619Yeah, I tried telling her that.Didn't seem to deter her much.Chaos noodles, man.
>>42852617She’s stubborn
>>42852617Stick them in a magic lamp.
Hey I think this dude can help us with batponies
Its that time of year, guys. Beware the snowpone.
>>42853621I'm sorry man. He's gone home to mamma.
>Are those wedding bells I'm hearing, Anonymous?
>>42853709Yes, and I'm crashing this wedding with no survivors.
>>42853711>So who is the lucky mare?
>>42853717There are no lucky mares and if there was I would only be marrying her so I can make you watch me file for a divorce against her next week
>>42853727>D-divorce?!
>>42853717>"YOU, BITCH!"
>>42853730Haha yes! Divorce!Divorce ALL the mares!
i am up to friday shenans do not die
Here's this until I manage to become more skilled at using GIMP
>>42853621We need em.>>42853697Funny enough, I hella abandoned a snowpone story a while back.
Your dick will dissolve into oblivion...
>>42853858Them and Spitfire are the only mares I'd let rape me. It's not even rape at that point, but I don't care.
>>42853872>Anon loves his Spit-pie!
>>42853858Isn't that the opposite what they want?
>>42853939They both can just regenerate your cock for you, Anon.
>>42853697They are more interested in cuddling for warmth than they are in cuddling for sex.I think.
>>42854090Um… I don’t know how to say this… I am detecting a severe lack of males in their camp and it’s worrying me.
>>42849849>>Equestria was preparing to cede a massive tribute of gold bullion to Yakyakistan. It was gone the morning after.Those were true Equestrian patriots, not thieves.
>>42854090Boy that's how they get the sack with you. Do not believe their lies.
>>42854453They left the country with that gold though
>>42854474It’s not like we- they have good coats, anon. They need your warmth.
>>42854090I don’t believe that for a second
Mare on top.
>>42854952Of the garbage heap!
>>42855023[This Anon was violently raped for this post]
>>42855059You wish you freaks. Y’all smell like trash.
>>42854719Shave their coat off and make your own coat.
Oh dear.Page 7.Let's cuddle.
>>42855568She does look soft
>>42855346Truly innovation at its finest.
>>42855346She moves in with you and cuddles you for warmth until her coat grows back in.Shenanigans ensue.
>>42855655She's oily and combustible.
>>42855891Only when she wants to be.Fuckin' chaos noodles, man.
Mare on her way to drain your balls...
>>42855984Pinkie doesnt use condoms… I would know.
>>42855984Why’s she so lewd
>>42855984Pinkie then proceeds to make balloon animals out of the condoms. She has no idea what they're actually for.
>>42856614Canon.
>>42857022Who’s this angry pone? Are ya going to a funeral?
>>42857022Coloratura is so hot
>>42857120FOOL! To speak highly of a mare is to invoke her sexual wrath!
>>42857314She wouldn't dare ruin her public image. She can never have any kind of relationship.
>>42857764She will sing a ballad of love and how every sex position is a declaration of love and partnership. Mares everywhere will lose their minds and demand you get with her. Thus making your life even more annoying.
She cannot rape. I want to fugg.
>>42858076
>>42858094No need to be jealous, Flutters.
>>42858076>>42858114The moment you go for you Rarity is going to reveal she's actually Fluttershy in a Rarity suit. Then rape you. Don't fall for your vices.
>>42858279Hah! yeah right. As if that would happen...
>>42857814Whats more annoying? A bunch of mares tryna get with you? Or a bunch of mares tryna matchmake you with someones else?
>"Oh, Hi Anon!">"Why am I in a cloud over your house?">"Next to your bathroom window?">"Oh c'mon, you know I just like to hang out!">"No, don't be silly!">"I would NEVER watch you take a shower from the clouds!"
>>42858394Guys, get the cheese. It’s rainbow dash again.
>>42858394>You step away from the door.>code red… orange, blue, yellow and the rest of the colors you don’t care to list right now.>You walk towards the kitchen of this small rundown ponyville shack.>The distinct sound of hooves on wood ring out as the blue horse gets impatient.>”I know you’re in there, anon!!”>You open your fridge, your salvation sitting right there next to a half empty ketchup bottle.>A golden square, made for the express purpose of defeating these tiny bundles of sunshine.>As you walk back towards the door you unwrap the geometric weapon of pony destruction from its plastic wrap.>You open the door by 45 degrees.>”Oh finally, you ape. Now are you gonna buck me-“>The great weapon flies from your hand. The distinct sound of American Sliced Cheese on an animals face cuts off the skittle pone.>Rainbow Dash writhes on the ground, her not so dexterous hooves clawing at her face to get the cheese off.>”AHH!! BUCK YOU, ANON!! NOT AGAIN!!!”>You close the door and go about your fuck ass business in the sanctity of your creaky house(Old green I made that seemed applicable)
"TWILIGHT!">Be Rainbow Dash.>Panicking as you've been hit with cheese yet again.>Its getting tiring.>You're at Twilight's treebrary in a panic.>A slice of cheese stuck to your face.>Its a little warm out and its starting to melt."TWILIIIIIGHT!">Twilight opens the door with a sigh.>Rolling her eyes at the sight of you with cheese melting down your muzzle."I-it happened again!">You sway your head side to side, walk backwards, neigh, nothing seems to work.>Twilight uses her magic to lift the cheese slice off your face before it can melt into your mane.>You drop to the ground, heaving.>Sweet CELESTIA what a trial that was!>If that was there for any longer, who knows what could've happened!>"Thank you, Twilight! That was so scary!" You huff, "I've got to find out where Anon buys his cheese...">Twilight deadpans.>"Rainbow Dash, its just cheese.">You look at her, bewildered."JUST CHEESE!?">Twilight sighs defeatedly."Its impossible to get it off once he throws it on your face, Twilight!!">"I highly doubt that, Rainbow Dash.""Oh YEAH!?" You get in her face, "Well how about I throw a cheese slice at YOU and see if you can get it off!">You zip past Twilight and go straight for the kitchen.>"H-hey! Rainbow Dash, get out of my refrigerator! Whats this all about, anyway!?">You grab a cheese slice, still wrapped in plastic and turn to Twilight."Anon!">"Anon?""Yes! I was sitting on my cloud, waiting for him to take a shower so that I can watch him, and he throws a slice of cheese at my face!">"...What?""Yup!" >You unwrap the cheese and toss at Twilight's face.>She catches it mid air with her magic, expertly re-wraps it and places it back in the fridge."No fair.">"Rainbow Dash, why are you trying to watch Anon from his bathroom window?""Are you joking? Hes... A-are you joking!?">"Y'know what, we're going to Anon's house, and we're going to resolve this. Anon is a fully grown stallion and I'm sure he can understand that you're a mare miserably in love.">Your eyes narrow."How do I know you're not just going to try and charm him with magic or something, huh?">"What?""Ohhh yes, I remember your 'want it need it' thing!">Twilight blushes.>"D-don't be silly! I would never do that! Again... Now, we're going to Anon's house so we can talk about how he should be nicer to you, and how you're going to stop trying to watch him when he wants privacy.""I never agreed to this!">Your tail is grabbed by her magic and she drags you our of the treebrary.>No matter what, you'll NEVER stop trying to catch a glimpse of those perfect, round cheeks of his...
>>42858521>>>Be Twilight.>Approaching Anon's front door with Rainbow Dash in tow.>Once at his door, you knock gently, but loud enough for him to hear.>His response comes swiftly.>"NO!">After yelling a simple "no" he begins following it up with several expletives and slurs.>You shake your head and knock again.>"For FUCK sake!">Finally, the door opens.>"Oh, Hey Twilight. Why do you have /her/ with you?">"Can't help but notice you don't have any cheese in those sexy hands, baby~.">Rainbow Dash gives him bedroom eyes.>You put your foreleg up, stopping her from speaking anymore."Anonymous, Rainbow Dash is here to apologize to you for invading your privacy. Shes also no longer going to be spying on you from your bathroom window.">"WHAT?!">Rainbow Dash yelps.>"Thats like, the best part of the day!">"The fuck makes you think I'll believe you, purple?""Anon, listen, I-">As you speak something catches your nose.>What is that smell.>Its... musky.>Strong.>Sorta similar to your brother's when you were a filly but he just stank.>No, this is different...>Oh Celestia what IS it??>"The only reason I'll even give you the time of day, Twilight, is because you're one of the few in this town who isn't completely retarded. Hurry up and spit it out.""Uh, ahem. Yes, of course. Now then," You lightly shake your head, regaining your wits, "Rainbow Dash won't invade your privacy anymore, and you need to start treating her more nicely.">He crosses his arms and leans against his door frame.>"Yeah I highly doubt either of those will happen.">"Yeah Twi." Rainbow makes oogly eyes at Anon, "He knows he'd miss me watching him~.">You roll your eyes and breath deep.>As you do you get /another/. whiff of whatever that intoxicating smell is.>Its not a... good smell.>But STARS above its just so...UGH!>Anon and Rainbow go back and forth as you lose your thoughts, staring at the human as this scent invades your mind and begins to make him seem...different.>Another whiff comes to your muzzle.>It was his house... his scent...>Oh.
>>42858527>Your heart thunders in your chest.>Sweat forms on your brow.>Everything about him just seemed like it was so much more appealing now.>The way his cusses at Rainbow Dash, the way he throws up both of his middles fingers... those veins in his neck."Hng...ng....">"You know you'd love to have me in the sack, Anon! I'm a wonderbolt, think of it!""I keep fucking telling you, I DON'T FUCKING CARE!">Your mind floods with thoughts of him over you. >On top.>You on top.>You on bottom...>Between his legs...>You bite your lips as your hind legs begin to quiver."I... I...">Anon and Rainbow pause their argument as you stammer and struggle a response.>"Way to go, Raindumb. You broke Twilight.">"Shes just trying to figure out why you wouldn't want me, thats all.""IHAVETOGO!!">You teleport away. >Clearly theres something going on in that house that causes some effect on mares.>And by Celestia, you're going to find out what...
>>42858528This is amazing. I love it. I think I also made a twilight green a while ago. Her weakness is tennis balls. (He also makes the cheese himself from mare milk “donations”).
>>42858618>You sit at your creaky old shack on the edge of ponyville you call home.>Book in hand- fuck you, you read books now. No internet, asshole.>As you turn a page of the book a blast on your (not so sturdy door) blasts it off its hinges.>You frown and close the book. Putting it down on the table next to you as you get up from your nice comfy chair.>In trots the chipper ourple autist named twilight sparkle.>”Hello anonymous. I see you were reading something from my library… not that I was watching you through a window or anything.”>She awkwardly chuckles to herself like the dork she is.>You would find it cute if she didn’t always->”So… since we both like books so much. I think thats grounds for a stable relationship. And as we both know-“>You would find her cute if she didn’t always try to get in your pants at every moment she could.>She continues to list off reasons why she is compatible with you. Blah blah blah.>You roll your eyes as you step to a drawer. Not even listening to her ramblings and rants.>”And sex is a healthy part of a good relationship-”>Yup, there it is. The getting in your pants part.>You open a drawer and take out a little gray case. Something you have been cooking up for a while.>As twiggles spriggles continues to rant on, you open the case. A small greenish yellow sphere of sophisticated material.>An artifact made by your hands for the express purpose of nullifying the magical properties of a unicorn.>You grab it in your hand before turning back to the severely distracted purple piece of shit.>You walk forward as she speaks.>”Oh? Are you finally agreeing!?”>Her tail wags like a dog. Her eyes sparkling. Her smile goofy and big.>After a moment, her eyes sharpen as you move close. Now predatory rather than cute.>”Guess you won’t need those pants will you?~”>As her magic fires off, the little spurg about to rip your pants off, you grab the base of her horn firmly.>”Oh! Ohhhhhhhh~”>Her legs twitch and she leans forward with a far off look. Her eyes rolling back.>”Oh Yeah~… you know just how to treat- OUCH!!”>She startles as you spear the tennis ball on her horn. The ball stopping any magic she could have used from coming out the tip.>”What the buck, anon!?”“Fuck you purple nurple!”>You quickly, with grace, pick her up and drop kick her out of your house. Off the porch and into the grass.>She yelps as she flies bouncing harmlessly like a marshmellow on the grass.>You quickly put your door back in place as she is dazed.>Once she realizes what you are doing, it’s too late.>Shes outside, her magic nullified.>And no amount of knocking on your door will change it.>Threat neutralized. Return to book
>>42858528What a mess. This Twiggles didn’t even stop Dash.
>>42858633Looking forward to reading this later
>>42857814Her reaction to Anon trying not to come to her concert.
>>42859363>She brings the concert to him. >No one in the audience but your house.>You look out the window and it’s just a light show.>Your rickety house has no chance of keeping the sound of her songs out.“This motherfucker is griefing MY BASE!!!”
>Page 9Really?
up
>>42859776
>Is reclaiming the holy lands your fetish?
>>42860354I’m going to need some context Flutters.
>"The more you say no, the more you're really saying YES."
Man… I am so hot and sweaty. My skin is so slick from playing just dance… if only I had some mare to use as a sweat absorbent seat…
>>42860759This is bait, and all the mares are going to fall for it.
>>42860759
>>42860816We’ll go on Fluttershy. He’s asking for it. Most definitely isn’t a trap.
>>42860704Ew, a hobo.
>they come to your house to play your games n eat your drugs
>>42860759>>42860793>>42860816>>42860927>It is just an animatronic in underwear with pitfall traps around it.
Page 7!The worst is averted!Also it's Tuesday and How to be Dense has been updated!This week, a song and the psychology of Anon's penis!https://ponepaste.org/11423
>>42861440Pitfalls still work on pegasus?
Boop
>>42861718What is going on with this school? Everyone is weird.
>>42861721Their wings will be so hard they can’t fly. Duh.
>"WE ARE GOING TO CUDDLE, DARLING!"
>>42863051Spike, she delusional! Go get her.
>>42862920Can't fly if you clip their wings too.
>>42863051No thanks
>>42859387>Throws cum at her
>>42862769>What is going on with this school? Everyone is weird.This is absolutely true!But you also have to keep in mind that Anon is a freshman and it's still only the first week.And it's hard for him to look around when seven girls want his... attention.But answers will come in the second (of three) act.You just may find it harder to notice with all of the sex happening at that time.The age swaps probably help make it weirder too.I mean Anon and the HuMane 7 are freshmen.The Dazzlings are seniors.The Crusaders are junior cheerleaders with a van called the 'Pussy Wagon'.
>>42864614Not just the girls, the guys are also off. With what little we’ve seen of them.
>>42864745>Not just the girls, the guys are also off. With what little we’ve seen of them.Also fair. There are basically three guys thus far in the story. Background, Big Mac, and Billy.The background boys are being recruited into harem relationships due to the gender ratio disparity. This was seen in the weight room and gets another mention in next week's installment. Basically most 14 year old guys being offered sex will take it and Anonymous is an outlier in that regard. Is there more to it?Absolutely!That will be explained in the beginning of act 2 as well after one of the girls finally beds Anonymous first.Billy is next and Billy is dead.Billy was the Crusaders boyfriend and the circumstances around his death will be an important story element in act three.(Billy Blanks was an OC I used in Duties of the King, where he was just a mini-me of Anon for the Crusaders to pursue. Here he has been aged up for the Crusaders. Well.. until he died of course.)And then Big Mac. When Billy died, the Apples pulled Big Mac out of general circulation and restricted him to the farm for his safety. Big Mac is aged down and will be entering CHS in two years.Now it's true that we didn't see a lot of Big Mac, but that was intentional. What happened between Anonymous and Big Mac will be told as a flashback in (Say it with me!) the beginning of act 2.Big Mac will also appear in an epilogue on his first day as a freshman!And technically three more CHS boys will appear in act 3.Also page 7 bump!
>>42865152And the ones that try to murder you.
Cuddles.
>>42865488Stop.
>>42865673
>>42865682Now go away.
>>42865484Oh, those guys are like stormtroopers in Star Wars.Or Red Shirts in Star Trek TOS.Or Assholes from Spaceballs (Spaceballs 2 has just completed filming!!!)Most interesting thing about them is why did they appear on the 2nd floor?That will be answered in Act 3.
Goddammit.This fucking bitch again.>https://tantabus.ai/images/65227
>>42866040So tired of waking up to this.
>>42866040I'm green idiot.
>>42865900>Spaceballs 2 has just completed filming!!!After the History of the World sequel, I have no hopes for this to not be a humor-designed-by-committee trainwreck
>>42866573I do vaguely remember that trainwreck.I turned it off after about 20 minutes and never went back.With that said, I DO have hopes for Spaceballs 2.I encourage folks to look into it and make their own call.I can tell you all of the original surviving cast are reprising their roles.That includes Rick Moranis coming out of retirement for this.The kids of deceased cast members John Candy and Dom DeLuise have parts.Even famous bit players in the original like Tim Russ and Micheal Winslow are in it
Shes putting together a team
>>42866604This will be anons greatest trial.
>>42866604Proof Celestia takes part in eugenics.
>>42866637All the more reason to never go to Canterlot.
>>42866604Albinoshys
>"Thank you for agreeing to this, Anon.">"Fluttershy and I have been meaning to spice things up in the bedroom.">"I'll just be watching you two from this chair in the corner."
>>42867385Dude, Fluttershy’s dead. We’re in the tail end of 5th gen.
>>42858528MOAR.We need additional twilight around here. Continue the green good sir.
>>42868085Might be able to this weekend but, idk. Depends if I work or not. Also my truck had a catastrophic failure and...fuck. So, maybe.
>>42868087Fluttershy drove your truck off a cliff?
>>42868252OF course it was her...>"Is a fiery and terrible car crashing death your fetish?"OF COURSE!!
>>42868252Checking if his fetish is grand theft carriage (which anon's truck is classified as under Equestrian law), carriage accidents, insurance claims, hospitalized mares, or mares in prison. It's a bundled guess.
>8
>>42866987True. But then again, they have the best pizza. (They actually have pepperoni). So I might take the risk again. You either live in fear, or roll the dice.
>>42868363How about I commit roadkill on her rabbit! How does that feel flutterbutt?
>>42868363She's one of the main playable characters so I'm sure she'll just respawn at the hospital anyway. Even though that would kill a background pony.
>>42869203Need to find a better weapon. This one can’t even beat clouds.
>"Rape is an art.">"Let us paint..."
>>42869920And most art belongs in the dumpster. Like you.
>>42869935>"Talk dirty to me some more, Anon sweetie!"
>Page 8
>>42870029I know you’ve not been paying your taxes on that animal shelter you built.
>>42870029Also the help you have at the animal shelter are a bunch of donkeys and burros that don’t even speak Ponish.
>6
>9
>>42871176>>42871520>"Veggie-boy is doing all the heavy lifting here, saving y'all from the clutches of us wicked, lustful mares..."
>>42871587APPARENTLY NOT ENOUGH TO SAVE MYSELF FROM YOU! BEGONE, ORANGE!
>>42868087Sorry to hear that anon
>>42871711It didn't kill me so thats something. I was going about 55 on the highway when it happened, breaks went out and I had to turn into the gravel to stop. Waited over 2 hours for a tow truck only to arrive at the shop for them to tell me they can't even look at it that day. Next day, find out they can't fix it and to take it to a dealer. Towed it again, only to find out my truck is gonna be out of commission for at least a few weeks. So now I'm looking to get a beater so I don't have to burn $$ on a rental. Fluttershy was thorough when she did this. The stress effect was expertly calculated. No doubt this is an attempt to break my will and to get me to sleep with her to relieve said stress. IT AIN'T GONNA WORK, BITCH!
>10
>>42871742such a devilish mare!
>>42872218
Has this ever happened to you?You forgot to lock your door before bedtime and you woke up covered in mares…
>>42872962You learn that day 1 and never fail to remember.
>>42872424Pure evil.
>>42872424She’s a monster
>>42873175Shot on sight!
>>42872424>>42873605>"LAter, Anon!""Later Carl!">You get in your trusty pickup and start it up.>You sit for a moment, enjoying the sound of that sweet V8.>With a content sigh after a hard day's work at the jobsite, you put it in drive and make your way down the highway.>"Ohhh~ cars are fun, Anon!""Yeah, they- WHAT THE FUCK?!">Fluttershy. >Passenger seat."How the hell did you get here?? Twilight told me I was the only one who can go through the portal!">"I begged her to do it again for me. And now we're back together again, baby!">You check the road, red light coming up.>Good.>You can stop at the light, and toss this little demon out and roll off as soon as it turns green."Well sorry to say, you won't be here long!">She nods.>"I know~.""What?">You press the breaks.>Nothing.>You press it harder, nothing again.>Fluttershy holds up a pair of snippers and a few cut up wires."WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?">"I cut the breaks, Anon. And in moments we'll die together, and forever be pressed together in a mass of flesh, gore and burning metal!""NOOOOOO!!">You swerve.>Losing control of the truck and driving off a bridge."FUUUUCKK!!!">"Yay!">>>You awaken.>In a daze.>"Oh, girls! Hes coming too!">Thats a familiar voice...>"Come back to us, Anonymous! Please!">Thats also a familiar voice...>Your eyes open, and the room around you slowly comes into focus.>The blur fading as 5 colorful faces surround you.>"Well I'll be, sugarcube! You gave a mighty big scare.">"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash chirps. "You AND Fluttershy!""Wha... what?">Twilight uses her magic to pull back the curtain to show Fluttershy in the hospital bed next to you.>She looks longingly at you, biting her lip.>"Don't you worry dear, I've already made you another suit, and I took the liberty of getting your current measurements in your sleep.""Fuck...">"Okay, girls!" Twilight says, "We each get a day to stay with Anon and Fluttershy until they recover, who wants the rest of today?">"OH! OH! Me me me!">"Very well, Rainbow Dash.">"YES!""wait...n-no...">"Okay everypony, lets go get some icecream!" Pinkie says, jumping in place.>They all leave, save for Rainbow Dash who pulls the curtain to seperate you from Fluttershy's gaze.>She gets up on the bed, laying across your chest.>"You'll be here for weeks~.""Ughhhh...."
>you find her digging in your trash
>>42873983What is she after?I mean, I'm all for just heaving her into the pony laundry (nearest pond), but why is she doing that?
>>42873981I’m surprised Fluttershy knows how to cut a brake line.
>>42873983Stick her in her own trash bag.
>>42874001she's after the oats you threw away!
>>42874372I mean, they had mold on them, but whatever.
>"Good morning, stud~!">"Its just me, your favorite blue pony in alllll of Equestria!">"Get out?">"Aw, c'mon, babe!">"You know you love it when I'm around.">"I see that bulge in your undies each morning~."
>>42874410That’s just morning wood.It’s just a daily function check.
>>42874622>"Need to check if the baby gravy is just right?">"I'll help you with that this morning, baby boy.">"Or every morning~."
>>42874629>"'Baby boy'?">Anon chucks an open bottle of water at the mare>The body paint washes off immediately, the blue smearing into the familiar buttery yellow>"God dammit, Fluttershy!"
>>42874631>"RAINBOW DASH WE'VE BEEN EXPOSED!">Fluttershy awkwardly tries to fly off from your window while a blue flash exits your underwear drawer.>Along with most of your underwear.
>>42874635She steals your underwear for two reasons.>she likes the smell>she hopes it forces you to walk around with fewer/no layers of clothing onYou notice that Rarity's price for replacing it has crept steadily upwards.
>PAGE 8
>>42875567>Page 6>"Welp, looks like I'm raping Veggie-boy.">"C'mere and take yer clothes off."
>>42875818>That anatomyGross
>>42872424Wait a minute is this the work of our elusive Inkspill Anon?
>>42876004It could be
>>42875196Like I'd go to Rarity for that. Don't trust her.
>>42876514>You're so cruel.
>>42876576The ball measurements were not necessary the first time.
>>42876638>"Ah??">"Whatever do you mean, Anonymous??""Rarity, those measurements you took of my testicles, ie; cradling them in your magic, feeling them up, and pressing your muzzle into my crotch and deeply inhaling WAS NOT required to accurately tailor some underwear.">"Oh such nonsense dear, it truly is!">"I thought you stallions kept those sacred as gems!""Sure, yeah, but that doesn't mean you get to molest me during a fitting!">Rarity scoffs.>"Oh you~." >She waves her hoof."I'm serious!">"Anonymous please, how am I supposed to make you something comfortable and accommodating if I don't know /every/ detail! You still haven't let me measure it when its hard!""Never will.">"D'ohhhh! You're so cruel!"
>>42876656Figure out where Fancy Pants gets his pants. Don't need Rarity. He does wear pants right? This isn't a weird pony thing?
>>42876656Looks like I'm gonna learn how to use one of these bad boys instead of going to Rarity
>she disguises herself and follows you to work
>>42876916Aren't you a little short for a human?
>>42876923Probably one of those Hobbit people. Smells like she lives in a dirt hole.
>>42876916>Go to lunch>Return to cubicle>Shes eating your oats.Little shit.
>>42876959Complain to MR.
>they come over to light candles
>>42876576Puffy cheeks
>>42877377Keep it out of my house.
A quick jaunt up from 10. Merry Christmas you filthy animals.
>>42878221Maybe next time Fluttershy shows up on our doorstep with another fetish guess we should toss a belt of firecrackers in a kettle so she thinks she's about to get her guts pumped full of lead(and not cum)
>>42877377Not this Kikes bshit again. Hey Anons we need fire extinguisher over here! And prodably Aryanne or Grzegorz Braun
>>42878246Need to introduce her the idea of a shotgun first.
>>42878251>Fire extinguisherYou mean Flammenwerfer
>"So here you are now on page three,">"Perhaps you'd like to come in me?"
>>42878984This sucks.
>>42879017"Are you threatening me?"
>>42870510Die.Just…die.
>>42879050OH hey cool, hm hm heh.
>>42878984You stay in your cursed woods hag.
It's Tuesday and How to be Dense has updated!This week the second bet check starts and it feels like a real good match with Flutterrape!Next Tuesday, ERECTION!https://ponepaste.org/11423Also page 9 bump!
>>42879963Anyone going to challenge his king title?
>>42879963Well that sounds promising
>>42880191In act 3, he'll have to establish and defend it is what I'll say.
PAGE SIX!Why do you let things like this happen?
>>42878984I could use some new potions to repel pegasi.
>>42880919NOOOOOOOO
>>42880920Why are pegasi always like this...
>>42881003Don't act like you don't know. In fact, they KNOW you love the attention.
>>42881063Stop swooping me!>>42881003Don't listen to that retard.
>>42881109
>>42881003>flutts just watches and cracks open a cold one
>>42881278>Implying she won't fly into a fit of rage from some other pony touching her Anon. She's Kindness not Generosity (cuck).
>>42881118Swat her out of the sky with a cannon.
>>42881343She's just checking if cuckqueaning is your fetish.
>>42881653That would probably break her if it was
>>42882010If only it was, just to hurt her. But naw, no thanks ponies.
The denizens of this thread haven't been MILF'd in a while.Let's rectify that.
>>42882384I just said I ain’t into cucking.
>>42882587That won't stop any of them.
>>42880919Right.Round two, then.
>>42882880I don’t know who is making that rule, but no donkeys in striped face.
>>42882902>"Would you prefer me, Nonny-kins?"
>>42883352A tranny ain’t better.
>Riiiight Anon.>You /don't/ want to be raped.>Wink!
>>42883593Pretty content grilling in my backyard not being hassled by ponies. Or anyone for that matter.
You know I haven't seen the ammunition store in a while. Could use a restock.
>mfw I draw ponies specially NOT raping me
>>42884244Make your dreams reality king.
>>42883593Do you want to be raped?
>"Get those clothes off and take your medicine, you cheeky monkey!"
>Page 6>"This is happening.">"Clothes off. Now.">"The hat stays on."
>>42884993Shove the hat down her throat.
>>42884786Break the brush over her head.
>>42884244Starting is AJ is an interesting choice. I'd figure Rarity would be the easiest one to beat.
She cannot rape me. Its impossible.
>>42886107We know that's you Rarity. Just admit it
>>42886121You're wrong, Anon. I must have her.
Stop posting about mares who aren't Fluttershy
>>42886168
>>42886168It's not as if Fluttershy is the only mare who wants to rape (You).She also has other threads.Read the OP for more details.
>>42886200Ew god, I bet she stinks like pungent musk and dirty clothes.
>>42886212Good news is that she sucks at everything. So beating her is easy.
>that'll she do if you're gone
late night boop
>”Are you okay?”>”Rape?”>”You want rape?”
You all should be grateful you only have to deal with Fluttershy as your rapist. Some Anons have it much, much worse.
>>42887129Don’t live near trailer homes to avoid trailer trash.
>>42886998Got get yourself raped.
>>42886655She's going to ruin that corpse.
>>42887848100%
>>42887848Three words: post-mortem priapism.
>>42888107Anon, being the clever fool, fakes his death. Just so he can play out the ending of Vampire Masquerade Bloodlines.
Roll up those newspapers, Anons. Stay vigilant, stay strong.
>>42888628Those eyes. It's like they're infected with parasites.
>Anon get himself out of a situation with Fluttershy with this clever technique
>>42889211You think that would stop her?
>>42889429What's going on with the legs?
>>42888628Going to need two newspapers for this.
>Page 8>"Just can't get enough of me, can you, Anon..."
>>42889211I don’t think that will deter her
>Pg 5 safety boop
>>42890464Chestlet.
>>42890757She’s not gonna take that well
>>42891309Good save
>>42891309Do mares still want him if he already has a son?
>>42891694>"Dunno what your fetish is anon, but DILFs are one of mine!"
>>42891913Is that what happened to your dad?
>>42892222>this anon's corpse was later found in the back 40 of Sweet Apple Acres>ponice suspect a transient griffon is responsible, based on Apply family testimony
>>42892355I ain’t dead, threw some grapes and her to escape.
>>42841436It’s been years since I last tuned into threads like this.
FUCK YOU, ORANGE!
>Be Anon.>Chilling at your house, chilling.>You are chill!"Love these lazy Sunda-">>>Be Anon again.>Falling from twenty feet high onto a shipdeck."WHAT THE FU-">*POMF*"OWE, FUCK!">"Welcome aboard, Anonymous!">You look up and your eyes are met with Princess Celestia's.>Shes wearing a captain's uniform and giving a cheeky salute with her wing.>If you weren't so pissed you'd think it was cute."How the fuck??">"I teleported you, silly!">She giggles."...WHY!?">"Because I'm going on a fun cruise across Equestria and needed some sea worthy eye-candy!""Look at your guards!">You point to the two guards leaning against the ship railing, green in the face and vomiting into the ocean.>"Oh please, they don't even have their sea legs.""How are they even sick, can't they fly?">Celestia stares at you."Ugh, nevermind.">"Indeed. Anyway, welcome aboard the SS. Dawn wood!""I hate you.">She laughs a hearty laugh.>"Oh Anonymous, you're such a kidder!">She playfully punches you across the shoulder.>Her alicorn strength making the hit hurt a hell of a lot more then she thinks.>You roll your shoulder and rub where she hit."HNgggg....">You growl, hating this whole fucking situation."How long are we gonna be at sea, exactly?">Celestia stop laughing and taps her chin.>"Hmm...">You sigh.>"Me if I know, hm-hm!""Hate. You.">She rolls her eyes.>"Oh don't be such a stick in the mud, first mate, Anonymous! Wheres your sense of adventure?""I lack the qualifications to be a first mate.>She tilts her head.>"Hm? Oh, oh! Oh heavens, no!">She laughs.>"I meant you'll be my personal mate for this entire journey! You'll share my bed, eat with me each night, preen my wings-">You attempt to jump overboard and you're teleported back onto the ship as soon as you jump over the rails.>"Brush my coat, be my personal seat when I eeeeat~.">She bites her lip and flutters her eyes at you."God dammit I hate sailing."
>>42892607Careful with your choice of words.
>>42892762It's probably all fake. Anon is going to find out the whole thing is smoke and mirrors 'cause Celestia doesn't have any sea legs, but still wanted to play.
>>42892762I hope pirates plunder her booty.
>she walks up to your house like this
>>42893206Go home and take that shit off before the baby Jesus sees you and starts crying!
>>42893224>”Would you fuck me?”>”I’d fuck me.”
>>42893206I mean I’m impressed she can walk in the heels
Bump.
>>42893228That’s generally the problem here.
>>42892762>Feels pain when getting hit by the supreme jobberThis Anon has never taken a knock in his entire life. He's made of jelly.
These mares are gonna be sorry they tried to mess with me when I unga bunga and bash them over the head with my caveman club
>>42892607>"Sure thing, sugarcube.">"Bend over."
>>41146166 I wonder what did happen to the sink though, she never did end up telling anon.
>>42894120Hmm, mare sandwich.
>>42894407Now that I mention this, is horseradish a little too on the nose on a mare sandwich?
>>42894682Unga bunga caveman make mare sandwich!
>>42893972No fair, anon. Plastic bags are horse kryptonite
>>42894407>>42895122You dumdums are just askin' to get double-teamed by Lyra and BonBon, or worse, Pinkie and Limestone.
>you gave Lyra a hoofshake, or handshake with horses equivalent is, and she went home used her magic to recreate your hand, AND NOW pleasures herself with it
>>42895450I didn't need to know that
>>42895450Without my consent?
Hello everyone! It's Tuesday and that means How to be Dense has updated!This week, ERECTION!Next week,Didn't we DO this song already?https://ponepaste.org/11423
>"Oh my!">"What's this doing here?"As if she didn't know.
>"Hey Anon, did you get me anything for Hearth Hearth's Warming?"
>>42895351>>42895857>>42896040
>>42896040Coal. Stole it off some reindeer.
>>42880919>>42882880Hey I saw some wildlife footage and these guys really like zebras maybe you should meet them instead
off 8 also wtf are these new captchas jfc
>ponies learn that anon refuses every advance on him>they start using him to get over fear of rejection and practice pick up lines
>>42897082>if he says no, it doesn't matter because it was impossible from the start>at first he was amused and somewhat flattered by the odd knock every couple of days>a week later he became confused at the nearly daily knocks>days later he was annoyed at the multiple interruptions through which were becoming routine>then>cue to the gigantic line of mares outside his house>then there's the grandstand being erected( and already partially occupied) and the fair around it>booths that opened nearby sold breath mints, flowers, perfumes and such. Musicians offered their services to aid those that wanted to try serenading. Another couple of ponies were advertising bets on whether the next rejection would be bore Anon, make him laugh, cringe, snap, faint, etc. The one with "dies" has better odds than "accepts". Lots of options of food, dolls, and hoof-stitched merch to those that came for the show.
>>42897133>anon asks them to stop>they disregard it as a gift of rejection to everypony outside >soon there are visitors from all over Equestria to watch this fascinating creature refuse even theit most charming, the prettiest and the distinguished no matter how witty, sweet or imposing>some came to be entertainend, some to learn, about pick ups, about the mind of mare, about the alien>but anon takes a while to answer the door now, soon there are bets for when he will stop answering it>the day finally comes a month later>as the sun sets the grandstand clops their hooves for what they consider the show finale: anon went a whole day without answering the door, bets are over, booths announce sales to liquidate whatever hasn't sold yet, the crew to disassemble the everything has been called>most of the line goes away>but for some mares in line, there HAS to be SOME answer>they prepared themselves and waited their turn, anon WILL see her, either to reject or to grant her victory
>>42897198And that’s when the fire hoses came out.
>>42897198>that line of mares has collapsed to a circle not far from anon's door>as their impatience and frustration feed their thoughts, their thoughts feed their vocal chords and reciprocrate echoes of desire, planting into each other's ears the seeds of despair that will stretch their branches to poke the veils that contain their sanity, only to dry in the boredom they would find within their wait deep into the night, to meet the sparkle of madness and together feed the fire of their infernal lust>the council has reached an agreement >yes you see, anon doesn't open the door>because >he accepted our advances to the next stage>the talking is over, finally>now>he wants us to break in any way we can>and then attempt to get physical with him>the circle of mares becomes a line again
>>42897216
>>42897226Oh dear
>>42897226What terrifying escalation.
>>42897236Makes my water hose look tiny.
>>42898191I'd be horny
>>42898264I eat food vaguely shaped like Fluttershy in the morning. Nothing kills the libido faster than that.
He looks like he fucks Rarity
>>42898625Only in her fantasies.
>>42898808Nuh uh
>>42898281>eating "flutterbutter" until you're so fat you can't see your penis anymore
I want to fuck this pony. She cannot rape me.
>>42898830What's your game in this?>>42899331Wait, a moment are all these posts you Sweetie? Why!?
Somebody please tell Rarity to stop doing this in my window! I'm not seduced, okay? It's friggin' Christmas, and I'm trying to decorate the tree, and the little angel on top doesn't need to see that kind of behavior!
>>42899583Makes sense
>>42899583>Why!?"Cutie Mark Crusaders interspecies matchmakers, yay!"Huh, were there ever any greens like that, maybe around the time of the CMC CheeriMac shipping disaster episode?
Shes so hot. I want to fuck her.
>Anon, lets face it.>I'M the only mare for you, stud.>Twilight? Nope, shes such a nerdy dork and she can't handle your fiery spirit.>Fluttershy? No way, shes way too sensitive.>Pinkie? Hah! Shes too much of a spazz to appreciate you like a real mare should.>Rarity? Please. Way too fancy. She'd try to change you.>AppleJack? Pfft, shes too busy to take care of her stallion.>Me on the other hoof...>Well, lets just say I've got the goods, the time, annnnd the /tightest/ body for a big boy like you~.
>>42900635>"Nice try, but we all know who the best mare for Anonymous really is.">"Happy Hearth's Warming, Anonymous.">"Now, come and fill my stocking."
>>42900696
>>42900635Fluttershy ain’t sensitive, she’s a freak.
>>42901258Clearly Dash just isn’t aware of Fluttershy’s usual activities
>>42898830>>42899331>>42899583>>42900557BUSTED
>>42900214I could see Fluttershy trying to get them to make her the target, but Sweetie wants it for Rarity.
BOOM! Headshot!
>>42902085Rude
Why is shit so fast today
>>42902085I think you missed the head.
>>42901817I'm sure she encouraged her behavior. Gave her bad tips.
>Once again, Fluttershy is disappointed you didn't gift yourself to her.
>>42904239I sent her a 180 lb. lump of coal, so there.
Page 7 means sexy time for Eris.
>Incoming Lyra from pg6>Oats sighted...
>>42904607That is a nice outfit
>Day Heart's Warming was yesterday in Equestria.>Be Anon and be mighty upset.>Taking out the trash from the result of a lame holiday.>Some lovely dovey happy holiday that pretends to be Christmas.>Yeah you prefer a jovial fat guy over three perverted reindeer.>But that adventure was Warming Eve.>Right now you are going to throw away all this trash.>Useless presents.>All the ponies in town say they want to cheer you up.>But this is all junk to woo you with.>'Oh look at my gift, it's a picture of me Lyra. Big dumb Lyra. Please keep it close to your bedside so I can use it as a portal to your room.'>She's going to be jumping into a pile of trash when she Mario's it.>Fluttershy is trying to help.>"I hate this one the most.">Fluttershy takes out a book from Princess Twilight Sparkle.>'Alicorns and Human Mates.'>"It's so aggressively exclusive.""Bias. Also you want me all to yourself. So don't get all that high and mighty. Throw it in the cart.">"So what are you going to do with all this?""Hitch you.">She beams with joy."Up like a common mule and make you pull it to the dump.">"Yay.""Let's see candy from Bon Bon that is made from the combine 'love' of her and Lyra. June Bug gave me a record of her repeating 'I love you' and other nonsense over and over. Got a wine bottle from Strawberry Sunrise, bourbon from Berry Punch, and whisky from Spoiled Rich.">Fluttershy tossed them with the rest.>"No applejack from, Applejack?""Dash drank them.">"Oh right, that explains when she suffered from the love sickness spell in the drink and kidnapped AJ.""Yeah, I'd probably suffer from some kind of love triangle poison if I drank all their drinks.">Take out another present, a full spread of Mrs. Cake.>Done in classic water colors created by melting down the magic from pegasus feathers pulled from the most powerful weather mages.>Toss it in the trash."Is Mr. Cake a cuck?">Fluttershy gives you the saddest 'you idiot' tone.>"Oh Anon. The foals.""Right. I'm sure that's how genetics works.">"Your jeans has nothing to do with that, but you do look good in them.">Roll your eyes.>"Where's my gift?""I used it to fight off the reindeer.">"At least you used it, instead of burning it like last time.""That's all the presents and the wrappings. Stuff Eris' body in the pile and we'll head into town.">Slap on the hitch to the pegasus and start to whip her."Mush, mush bitch.">Like the Grinch, you push a small animal to breaking point with an overbearing load."Ride on! We'll bring back the 'good' cheer of Ponyville, and show them my appreciation.">Ponies wave as you ride past.>Smile and jolly.>The snow sparkles.>Truly it is that time of year, unless you're from Australia.>But that place is fake anyway."Ponyville, you've brought me once again all your cheer. This pagan holiday is just short of a wicker man. Until that day I'm a sacrifice to your freaky goddesses, here is your sins to witness.">Scorch earth the presents.
>>42905075>Twilight Sparkle is mighty upset.>"Anon, that book was a first edition.""Your works aren't of any historic value.>Cadance is there with her sister in law.>"Anon! You didn't burn my gift did you!?">Put on your gas mask."Sure, why?">"Those candles were supposed to make you fall in love with the pony you first see.""Like all these other ponies with love spells?">"O-other love spells!?">The bonfire turns violently pink.>Cadance's yells out something dumb.>Before the gayest mushroom cloud erupts, run as fast as you can.>All the ponies that come to witness the spectacle are caught up in the gay old atmosphere.>Young and old, gay to not gay, ponies have love at first sight.>Mr and Mrs. Cake kiss each other for goodness sake!>So much debauchery.>Not you though, you left all pagan good cheer behind.>Including Fucking Fluttershy on the cart.
>>42904239>Fluttershy hands you a present attached to her rump and tells you to open it
>>42905145Begone yellow.
>>42905145I don't open the present, use Fluttershy to bludgeon those pesky reindeer.
>>42905145Sounds about right
Working on a green right now. Hopefully, I'll be done by tomorrow. If I decide to make it lengthier it might take a little longer. I'm hoping the thread dies soon so I can post because I don't want it to be buried and forgotten
>>42906002>I don't want it to be buried and forgottenUploading it to ponepaste should help prevent that fate.
>>42841946Real. When mares talk you love listening.
>>42906188Shut up, Spike
>>42906188I love ignoring mares while they blabber.
>>42906579You get lost in their eyes too?
>>42895703The CMC are going to make this boy run and never look back.
>>42906588Yup.
>You awaken to the sound of knocking on your front door.>Its Hearth's Warming.>Which means it can be any of the same bunch of insane fucking ponies at your door this morning.>GReeeaatttt."Ughhhh... fuck...">You groggily get up from bed and lumber to the door, stretching and groaning all the way.>The knocking persists."I'm fucking on the way, Jesus!">You've stopped saying the words; "I'm coming" for obvious reasons.>Only a week ago Lyra heard you say that and assumed you had an orgasm because you knew it was /her/ at the door.>The absolute delusion.>Finally, you arrive at the door and lean against the wall while lazily opening it up.>"Happy Hearth's Warming, Anonymous!">Oh good. >Candy ass."What?">You reply, monotone and with a growl.>She giggles.>"I was just here to wish you a happy Hearth's Warming and to ask if you had found a mare yet?""No.">She narrows her eyes and grins.>"Ohhh don't be bashful, Anoooon~. Who is she?""What makes you think theres suddenly a mare in my life?">"Well I felt a very strong pulse of love coming from this house last night~.""Well that-">"Anonymous, my sweet lover~ Whos at the door, baby?">Cadance's expression went from elated to immediate suspicion. >"Anon...w-whose that?">You sigh heavily, knowing the shit storm thats coming.>Queen Chrysalis comes next to you at the door.>She rears up, kisses you on the cheek and draped her forelegs over your chest, hugging you.>"Oh, good morning, princess~.">Cadance's eyes went wide as her iris's shrank to pinpoints.>Chrysalis smirks as she really begins to rub it in.>"Ohh Anonymous, I'm so glad we found each other last night in the forest. The way you carried me in those arms~.">Chrysalis whispers in your ear, licking the rim.>"STOP IT! Get off him!""Cadance, calm down!">"No, Anonymous! Shes controlling you! Its what she does!">Chrysalis doesn't bother reacting to Cadance and her outburst. She merely rests her head on your shoulder.>"Hm-hm. She doesn't approve of us, baby.">Cadance growls and her horn flares up with power."Yeah, I know. Cadance, relax.">"No! Chrysalis release him from your spell!""Theres no spell!">"Explain how this even happened!""Ugh, fine. I was taking a stroll through the edge of the park along the forest line, I saw Queen Chrysalis stalking around the trees and...">Picrel."And thats how it happened."
>>42906671>"Oh yes, and it happened many, many times last night.">Chrysalis turns your head towards hers and you share a deep kiss with her.>Your tongues lash and meld as her long serpentine appendage slithers in and around your own.>Much to Cadance's disgust.>"N-no! NO! Your love is meant for a MARE, Anonymous!!">You break the kiss and roll your eyes."Listen Candy I can appreciate your obvious racism but all the mares are fucking idiots and psychos.>"Like she isn't?? She foal-napped me, hypnotized my husband, and tried to take over the world!">Chrysalis smiles smugly and nods along."Yeah, yeah I know. But-">"THERE ARE NO BUTS! How did she hypnotize you!"She didn't hypnotize me! I WANTED to sleep with her!">"WHY??""Are you kissing? Look at those green glowing eyes, that sexy voice...">"Mmm~ love you too, baby.">You share another passionate kiss.>Cadance grinds her teeth, absolutely furious at the very notion of Chrysalis, much less that actual happening, of Chrysalis being the one whom you end up with.>"This isn't over! I'm going to gather the elements of harmony and everypony else!">In a flash, Cadance is gone.>"Shes so jealous. I could feel her lustful rage from here.""That doesn't surprise me. At all.">Chrysalis swoon and feints a faint into your arms.>Her eyes meet yours."I am a little curious. What is it about me that made you so quick to want to hook up?">She giggles a sultry giggle.>"Are you joking? Great physical pleasure, more power~ from each time as well?">She holds your cheeks.>"Don't sell yourself short, stud.""Fair enough.">With your Bug Queen in your arms you go back inside, kicking the door shut behind you.>You spent the rest of the morning balls deep fugging the bug.>Cadance and probably every other pony will hate it but, its better then...>Fucking Fluttershy.
>>42906671You're getting harmony nuked
>>42906675Where's the fly swatter of harmony when you need it?
>>42906675Never a bug, you get bugs on your crotch.
>>42906675You mentioned her sexy voice, so my foggy memory demanded that I look up her VA.Kathleen Barr.She also voiced Trixie.She also provided the English voice for Maetel (Galaxy Express 999).And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.And lots of others.
Page Nine means Eris Time.The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
>>42906972Her voice does get that weird alteration for the bug.
*cough*
JESUS CRAP PAGE 10!!
>>42907848Well yeah we hit the bump limit
>>42907863
With my last breath I say fuck you Fluttershy!
>>42907889>"Sniff my skids, yellowrat!"
