Come one and all to the meta-writefag and help raise the quality of MLP fanfiction! Featuring: Celestia, the Barbarian!ITT: The woes of inbreeding, good HiE remains elusive, it's okay to do the most awful things imaginable if you feel bad about it afterwards, the moon, shitpost summaries, unintentional troon comedy, Celestia manipulates events so Anon never reincarnates in Equestria, gigaslut virgins, pone vidya, raising your brother's rapebaby, you need a doctorate to fuck horses, getting triggered, anon learns about women's degeneracy, the signs of SS&E's faggotry, so much SEEEEEEEX, Twimom, I must mention genitals in my comfy SoL story, PaaL just ain't worth it, Holiday writing, pony migration, Rarity is a terrible mom, and a 47k long Terminator crossover.>/fimfic/ Secret Book ClubThe one hundred and forty third books are Tower of the Fallen Star and Succession:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/2432/school-dazeIf (You) want to participate, read up to and including "Chapter 7: Mad World" by December 14th.Past bookclubs: https://ponepaste.org/11255>Recommended stories:Tired of authors crossing over a dozen IPs? Fed up with downer shipping? Well, we've compiled the best of the worst in order to bring you our absolute average!New Starter Kit - http://mlpficreviews.org.uk/starter/Old Starter Kit - http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png (embed)>Common fic abbreviations used by the thread:https://ponepaste.org/7317>A list of reviews made by the Anons in this thread:http://www.mlpficreviews.org.ukUse the commands ">review <story link>" and ">discuss <story link>" to add reviews to a story.Userscript for extra features: https://ponepaste.org/8619>An in-depth writing guide for beginners:https://eznguide.neocities.org/>Additional material for authors:Rhorse's Horse Behavioral Notes - https://ponepaste.org/932Politics and the English Language - https://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit/Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop - https://poneb.in/g4VpEg4fSetting a story in motion - https://youtu.be/ufO8LbwTdu0Purdue Online Writing resources: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/index.html and https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/creative_writing/writers/index.html>Can you pre-read my story?Post it on Google Docs or HackMD with comments enabled and give us a link.>Various reviews and riffs:Fillyanon's Bookshelf - https://ponepaste.org/5555Notkickass222urmom's Reviews - https://pastebin.com/u/notkickass222urmomIHeartShinzakura's Reviews - https://ponepaste.org/user/IHeartShinzakuraAppleanon reads fics - https://poneb.in/wmGX7FPmDeluxe Big Master Review List - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1z9Bz7UnEbxo-svlXa2tV49PJkP-yFuR7pRXiBUn-IeUA Guide to Rational Fics - https://files.catbox.moe/3jzrfm.pngThe Royal Canterlot Library's Top 16 Fanfics - https://royalcanterlotlibrary.net/top16/Previous Thread: >>42848680
First for best duo!Enjoy this conveniently packaged Tuna: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/144948/the-princess-of-books
>>42866133Dang. Missed an embed...
>>42866134Third for best trio!
>>42866156Damn I can't believe Twilight got her pregnant lesbians
>fic is 99% ai written>apparently very little human intervention>still dies
>>42866296>still diesWell yeah?
>>42866306For human-written fics I can understand, since writing a chapter is a lot of work, and people get busy, or lose motivation after months/years on the same project. But with ChatGPT doing most of the work, you'd think they'd be more likely to keep going to some kind of reasonable conclusion.
>>42866320Why would a writer that uses chatGPT for everything care about what they pump out? At least human writers put some effort while AI writers just like playing pretend until they get bored
>>42866320They're already incredibly lazy, you're surprised they're lazy in other ways too?
>>42864604>Why do we need the fishbowl?For the grimdark. No, really. The author said in the comments the original inventor of the spell explicitly made it malicious because there's no rational reason to make a spell that inefficient and impractical. Now, why no one in a thousand years ever tried to improve the efficiency is a different question.
>>42866133>The one hundred and forty third books are Tower of theYou fucked that up OP
>>42866794I fuck up a lot of things.
>>42866296>train an ai on fimfics>train it so well it starts canceling its own fics partway through
>>42867074>starts writing inane blogposts on its own
>>42867057Why does the moon have craters like that
>>42867074Like an AI needs help being convinced to kill itself.
>>42867261>cratersAnon, I...
>>42867261It’s from my penis wenis (:
>>42867261>pointing out luna's celluliteRIP Anon
>>42867405But Celestia is the fat princess!
>Rarity is a terrible momLike we needed confirmation on that.
>>42867261>not recognizing lunar mariaThey're just moon phase themed
>>42867905Her name's Luna, not Maria
>>42867961Well, Maria was also in space for most of her life so it's an understandable mistake.
>>42867961I liked Lauren's original plan of calling her Selena.
>>42868003You mean Selene?
>>42868309If you die in battle during a full moon this is the first thing you see after btw.
>>42868314>full moonAnon, I...
>>42868332It takes a while to die, okay?
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/583749/the-river-the-woodsI want to like this, I do. But holy fucking SHIT it badly needs a proofreader
>>42868521Be the change you want to see in the world.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/387047/farmer-bruener-has-some-poniesI decided to start reading this again after dropping it several years ago since I noticed that the author was still updating it extremely slowly. The biggest problems with it are 1 Trying to focus on to many characters and 2 which is partly downstream of 1 having the story be paced such there isn’t much time in which we see the characters develop relationships with eachother. leaving the interaction that are shown feeling somewhat hollow and unbelievable. From what I’ve read so far there’s together between the humans and ponies over a dozen sorta main characters which all can go several chapters between appearances and then only get a scene in which they are in with a few thousand words at max in which a given characters dialogue is only a little fraction of that. The story is also just kinda boring, since it’s mostly characters that aren’t particularly deep or fleshed out and that the reader hasn’t had much time to get invested in interacting in a context and plot that has not been established and presented to the reader in a manner that inclines them (or at least me) to be particularly invested in what happens in it.
>>42868589>The story is also just kinda boringA 200k PiE fic hasn't gotten to the "feds find out there's aliens" part of the plot yet?
>>42861466>https://www.fimfiction.net/bookshelf/600138/now-reading>(This is your one week warning!)>review is slated for the 22nd
>>42868682He just wants to make sure we know.
>>42868681That’s some early chapter. I don’t remember precisely and I don’t care enough to go check what one it was. So far in the plot the affair is being handled locally and interpersonally by the state governor and other local forces and individuals that happened to come into contact with the ponies early. At first it seemed like the author was setting up the federal government or at least the fbi as an antagonistic force since they wanted to take the ponies away but then the problem was mostly resolved.
Bump
>>42869002Say that to my face, you fucking son of a bitch.
>>42869002
>>42869002Look at her go!
>>42869356I used to do that a lot as a toddler.Any good stories about the Princesses being kids?
>>42869488Bug on a Stick. Without the epilogue.
>>42869488https://www.fimfiction.net/story/390701/bedtime-for-princessesThis, I guess?
>>42868589I have decided to drop the fic again out of spite.
>>42869911You should continue it out of spite
Whatcha working on, threadboys
>>42870421Put my big Romance/Horror on hold while I deal with my Jinglemas story.Finally figured out a good angle for it. Now I'll get to it as soon as possible and get it out of the way.
>>42870421My first horse words story. I'm super nervous but I promised myself I'd see it through before the year was over.
>>42870477Make sure to put it in the relevant groups once you post it.
What are some good fics with good scenes with Luna in her observatory? In particular I interacting with some other character in the observatory. I’ve stumbled across a few in my time reading mlp fanfiction and there is something special about them that I like.
>>42870673I can find some Tunafics with Luna stargazing with Twilight's telescope, but Luna generally doesn't seem to have her own observatory.
Thanks.
>>42871063You're welcome
>>42870673The epilogue of this is largely about Twilight showing Luna a telescope for the first time,https://www.fimfiction.net/story/922/common-skyhttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/70272/becoming-one-with-the-nightChapters 1 and 10 have scenes with Twilight and Luna stargazing.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/429016/vertigoThe premise centers around a stargazing picnic.
>>42871555>showing Luna a telescope for the first timeI feel like she'd know what a telescope is
>>42871564Being a pre-S2 fic, its Luna is less than good.
>gay foalcon incest aislopI'm not sure the author even read this before posting. It starts out talking about the grassy meadows on the outskirts of Cloudsdale, then describes the characters' appearances and gets every single detail wrong. And if you've forgotten exactly what Thunderlane and Rumble look like in canon, you can just scroll up half a page and look at the cover art.
>>42866133I made outlines for MLP episodes one time. Thoughts?
>>42870421My Jinglemas story. A couple days ago I was worried I wouldn't finish it in time, but I had a breakthrough yesterday. I wrote 1,000 words and feel like I'm on track again.
This is like a new record for how bad the spam's got, kek.>>42870421I'm trying to finish another chapter of my Queen Chrysalis anthology in the next few days. I've been sitting on the new artwork to go along with it for a while. Each chapter of that story is intended to be right at 2,000 words, and it's hard to get the tone I'm wanting, but fun.
The board's a fucking mess tonight.
Fics where Rarity is raped?
>>42872952https://www.fimfiction.net/story/438721/
>>42872952https://www.fimfiction.net/story/481104
Fics in which stupid liars are made to suffer for their stupid lies?
>>42873355https://www.fimfiction.net/story/35169/
>>42873358I have that one in my dropped folder.
>>42873355https://www.fimfiction.net/story/10997
I hate adverbs so much. Remove adverbs.
>>42870421Going through my annual>ok, [current year] was a waste but [next year] is gonna be my yearstage of coping
Hey, for the other two guys who wrote something for the Anthology.Considering nobody else is going to participate, would it be okay if I publish my entry separately?We could all publish simultaneously and put "part of the [Conspiracy] event alongside __ __" and we link the other stories, too.
>>42873668For maximum schizo, you should include a link to a fourth entry that in reality just leads to a 404.
The general is dying...
>>42873737The Freeverse lives on...
>>42873778It’s okay, the Colonel will be just as good.
>>42873778Everyone is busy writing.
>>42867873I've seen stuff where Rarity is secretly Sweeble's mom and the most parental of the CMC older sisters, and it just doesn't fit for me. She's got the energy of an exasperated older sibling that got dumped with their baby sister, not a parent living a lie.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/585665/the-robot-chronicles-twilight-vs-deep-state-equestria>guy tries to praise his own story on a sockpuppet but forgets to log out
>>42873602You can easily grow to like adverbs and look upon them fondly if you only try.
>>42874075No, it doesn't matter if you delete your post. We saw your typo, Anon. We saw, and we'll judge you forever.
>>42873946Anon, this is the clearest case of deliberate shitposting I've seen yet.
I commented here a bit ago that I noticed what seemed to be an uptick the past few years in human turned into foal fics so I decided to check and I was right there have been almost two dozen popular ones that got a fair amount of views published in the past few years.
>>42874081There is no stupid on purposeThere is only stupid
>>42874084You noticed it too, huh?Age regression going mainstream is bad.
>>42874103Mainstream in what, our tiny little continually slowly dying corner of the internet?
>>42874109Yes, and that's a bad thing.
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/568477/quarantine>determining the contents of a story based off of the readers vote at the end of each chapter for which of two options for some aspect of the story the author chose to let them vote over they prefer the most. This sounds like a terrible way to write a fic.
>>42874326Go easy on the nested clauses, there.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/413761/the-power-of-freedomJust started reading this. Pretty good so far. It’s been one of the highest and often the highest rated crossover fics on the site for a while now so I wanted to see what it’s like even though it will probably never be finished.
>>42874326I will say it was pretty great seeing the readers/voters completely shut down the garbage ship the author was trying to push. Though that only worked because the author built it up so much beforehand that he couldn't weasel out (the male character all but says outright "have sex with me now or I'll dump you and find someone else")
>>42873668It'd really suck if your 9k+ word fic never saw the light of day (or the darkness of /fimfic/, as it were), so I'd say sure, go ahead.My short entry was written with much difficulty, and it doesn't stand on its own (nor would it stand in the anthology, really), which is why I'd probably rather not publish it as a standalone. Maybe I'll change my mind when I look at it tomorrow, but the point is, you should post yours.And shame on everyone who didn't deliver. Boo!
>>42874693>And shame on everyone who didn't deliver. Boo!I just didn't jive with the theme at all in the end. If we do this next year, I'll echo my suggestion in the discussion:>I think a focus on genre, or a prompt, would work best. The thought of releasing this for a holiday is also good, because that chooses the theme and deadline naturally.I don't know, a genre or prompt would've been better than a vague theme, I think.
>>42874716If we start right now, we could have a romance anthology for Valentine's.
>>42874726That would be easier to write than conspiracy theories, sure. I'd write about the Cakes if we do that.
>>42874726romance anthology but it's straight only.
>>42874726Much as I like the idea, I know I'm not going to have time for anything more than a 200 word shitpost between now and then.
>>42874769Tunafag destroyed
>>42874693>the light of day (or the darkness of /fimfic/, as it were)This place is more the one vendor with edible food in an Indian street market.
>>42874788Man I could go for some butter chicken...
>>42868705>a state governor not leveraging first contact with a magical alien race to run for President and make it a national issueMy suspension of disbelief is shattered.>>42870421Shifted back to the archmage fic and am now working on the ending. Since no one saw the big exciting climatic fight between the archmage and Celestia, the author has to try and piece together what happened from the aftermath and and the change in Celestia's fighting strategies pre vs post.Gotta get this thing finished so I can meet the August deadline. I'm really not looking forward to the looming cover art issue.>>42873668I'm fine with that if the others are.>>42874693>And shame on everyone who didn't deliver. Boo!I know. 1/3rd of the people who voted for the prompt actually participated.
Are there any good first contact horse fics
>>42874951Could you define first contact more precisely? Basically any HIE or POE fic could technically qualify as that.
>>42874943>>a state governor not leveraging first contact with a magical alien race to run for President and make it a national issue>My suspension of disbelief is shattered.Closed loop think no I will not explain further.
>>42874966PoE but it's about first contact. I don't want to see Travis, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to fuck Rarity, within ten feet of any mare.
>>42874983I can’t think of any good ones that fit what you probably mean by first contact and that are not indistinguishable from most other pony on earth fics.
Where is the club?It's over...
Leather jackets and smoking hay in,>/FSBC/I'm late again, sorry. I fell asleep while reading this fic, which might be saying more about my sleeping habits than the story. But about the story, too.Right off the bat, my biggest issue was that it's kind of very loosely pony-themed. As soon as the first chapter ends and we're out of Ponyville, the fic turns into an all-OC cast ("Cheeri" has a bit in common with the FiM teacher, but she's mostly an OC, leaving basically just Luna's scenes) story happening in a 'bad district' with all the crime and abuse that goes on there. It's not the most immediately inviting. I did have a "why am I reading this instead of a better non-pony story?" moment of weakness. The overall feel of the world and the lack of pony terms doens't help there.But that's not a fair question to be asking in the first place! For one thing, it's still a ponyfic, with A LOT of the old fandom references typical of the period—from general human culture to direct FiM references to show staff names to fandom nods. The characters have, after the 'comedy' was toned down, started growing on me. Really, though, once again the [Comedy] tries mucking up a perfectly serviceable SoL story, which is particularly bad when the comedy is almost never funny.It's not written too well on a technical level, but for an early 2012 fic, being readable is acceptable. I've had some issues with scene pacing and simply following what's going on, but that could've been caused by me not being too interested in the story of all these OCs at first. It's gotten better, anyway. The story does seem to have a pretty well-planned core plot that the author is writing around, giving at least the impression of a focused story. The romance plot is actually going on far, far better than I expected at first. They're cute, and unlike some of the other stories we've read recently, that, too, appears to have been planned out beforehand.I'm not too taken in by the fic yet, but I certainly like it more than I did at first.Also! Sorry for not giving the exact chapter number last time. I stopped after 6, even though 7 was a valid choice as well.[Voting]We're finishing the fic next week, so here are some suggestions:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/116344/foal-of-the-foresthttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/134645/a-taste-of-the-good-lifehttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/755/on-a-cross-and-arrowhttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/92300/crisis-on-two-equestriasor maybe 2-3 15k word fics by The Descendant since he made a mediocre impression last time.>>42875487I was sleepy.
>>42875496For the good things:- It's great to have a story focused on Cheerilee, and I liked her in this.- Some Screwball passages are kind of cute.- You can see it was made with good intentions and genuine warmth.- It's a nostalgic read: you can see early fandom style and references from the era, even if they're not always well executed. It's loaded with 80s pop culture references too.Now, the story itself is one of those cliché setups: cheery teacher moves to a rough school to teach misbehaving kids. At first she's overwhelmed, but then she learns there's a heart of gold under those kids, and that it's just hard lives and society that made them what they are. Slowly she chips at their armor with patience and care. There are quirky staff members, but also a big bad administrator who set her up to fail because he doesn't believe in those kids and just wants the school to close.It's a well-worn premise, and honestly, I could see it working great for an MLP story with strong characters and scenes and if adapted to the universe.It's harsh to say, but that's not the case here.First: holy fuck, this was painful to read. I would have given up around Chapter 3 or 4 if it wasn't for the club.The writing is at best unremarkable, at worst heavy and a chore to get through. The author LOVES adverbs.I suppose >>42873602 was about it? Because yeah, TOTAL ADVERB DEATH.Sentence structures aren't varied and feel unimaginative. I'm alright with some stylistic quirks, I know the show uses them too, but the author also loves alliterations and seems to believe they're the peak of writing, which leads to some forced and painful ones. There's some LUS too, but it didn't bother me as much, except for some pretty bad instances when mentioning the princesses.It's already rough, but the bigger problem is that the author also tries to inject humor. I wouldn't call it hit-and-miss so much as miss-and-"I'll let this one slide."This I can let slide:>She furrowed her brow, sucking on the quill before moving it to the side of her mouth. Cheerilee had the skilled tongue of an earth pony who wrote more than half of the village combined. She missed having marefriends she could joke about that with.This, not so much:>Luna smiled at Cheerilee's obvious shock. "Thou beholds the original Canterlot jailhouse, made to house only the most malicious malefactors and menaces.">The teacher shivered. She tried to imagine what terrible deeds placed ponies inside these walls.>"Really, it only ever housed Claimjump Clem; he was arrested on 47 counts of sheep-napping, 121 counts of salting in public, 42 counts of dry-and-disorderly and 198 prison escapes.">Cheerilee blinked several times. Is that Luna humor? Does Luna humor exist? Have pony scientists discovered it yet in the Large Fun Collider in Geneighva?>Luna smiled. "He had the most roguish hat."1/2
>>42875500 (I fucking hope I didn't fuck up the copy paste this time)Maybe I'm just dead inside and a bitter man now. I really tried to give myself brain damage and enjoy this as >"muh KINO EARLY FANDOM SOVL," but I just couldn't do it.It doesn't help that I didn't like any characters except Cheerilee and maybe Screwball, and Screwball's story isn't that well integrated or developed anyway. The other teachers and students are mostly bags of cliché tropes, which *can* be made endearing, but that wasn't the case here. The romance between Cheerilee and Red fell flat too and not believable.The story as a whole has weird tangents that are half-baked and badly executed, which is a shame because some had potential.- Screwball's arc is the best one, but it still needed better handling.- Discord is just bad in this.- The Lyra subplot; about how she was picked on as a filly and moved to Ponyville from Canterlot because she's a lesbian, culminating in Cloudkicker (one of her bullies) being the reason nopony bothered checking if ponies were really dying in a cave-in, was eye-rolling. I know it uses the trope where adults are useless and the kids have to deploy what they learned to save the day, but still. It was bad.The problem is that we get these tangents while the main meat of the story, how Cheerilee saves the school and the students with her love and optimism, is badly paced and resolved with a Rocky montage (a literal one). It wasn't soulful. Just easy.I KNOW some of it is cliché and tropey by choice, to fit the kind of story the fic is drawing from. We even get a big>"What did they become?" bit at the end. I still find the execution either bad or lazy.I do think forcing myself to finish when I would have normally dropped it sooner tainted the whole thing, and some readers may find certain passages charming.TL;DR: It ain't Onizuka.
>>42875500>a story focused on CheerileeYeah, I'm sure there are better ones out there, but it is the best fic with her that I read, I think.>if adapted to the universeI think the characters are fine, and the scenes aren't too awful, but this was the thing missing the most.>this was painful to read. (...) The writing is at best unremarkable, at worst heavy and a chore to get through.It is not pleasant, definitely. The last time a fic put me to sleep was... more than a year ago. Probably two. But if you can look past that (and the errors/missed words), it really isn't too awful. I'd even wager it's significantly better than the average highly rated fic of the era. That is not to say I liked the prose; I very much did not.>LUSThat's the one I'll defend a tiny bit, though! It's cute! I mean, it's objectively not good, sure, but the fic doesn't overdo it too much, and a bit of LUS in your 2012 fic only improves the nostalgia.>the bigger problem is that the author also tries to inject humorRight? It's awful! [Comedy] is probably just as bad as [Human] when it comes to the negative impact it has on a story.>>42875509>but I just couldn't do it.Neither could I. There are several "KINO EARLY SOVL" fics, but this ain't one of them. If that's what you're looking for, it's okay-ish, imo.>fell flat too and not believable.I mean, there's also week 2. But anything will look better after that Twicord fic from two weeks ago, so maybe I'm being biased.>I still find the execution either bad or lazy.I don't think it's lazy. I do genuinely think that the author tried his best, and simply wasn't good enough. It relies on cliches to prop itself up, but there was more effort put into planning and realizing this story than what you can usually expect in a random 2012 fic. It's not good, but it's just about "ok" for now.
>>42875601>That's the one I'll defend a tiny bit, though! It's cute!I pointed it out because it's fun to flag as early fic syndrome, but it wasn't that bad. There are just some that were pushing it. I'm too lazy to check so I'll caricature, but I remember things like "The Queen whose sister guided the stars" or similar for the princesses.>[Comedy] is probably just as bad as [Human] when it comes to the negative impact it has on a story.Kek. I think I can tolerate it more than some here, but it was bad in this one.>I don't think it's lazy. I do genuinely think that the author tried his best, and simply wasn't good enough. It relies on cliches to prop itself up, but there was more effort put into planning and realizing this story than what you can usually expect in a random 2012 fic. It's not good, but it's just about "ok" for now.You're right. I wouldn't call it ok since I would have dropped it without the club, but despite how critical I was, I can't bring myself to call it awful either. For how much I memed about "muh early sovl," you can still glimpse warmth and amateur passion in this.
>>42875496Also, fuck.>Sorry for not giving the exact chapter number last time. I stopped after 6, even though 7 was a valid choice as well.>>42875500>>42875509Are for the full fic, because I'm retarded, so sorry for the light spoiler.
If I had a nickel for every fic that takes place in the past with ponies clearly meant to be the ancestors of the main six I could probably by a can of pop or something.
>>42875496Damn some of these ponies are mean. Ch1 was rough since it was just cherilee trying her best to stay positive while losing everything because the administration hates her or something, as if a different teacher could somehow make the ponyville class more successful. But most of the ponies in this fic are straight up bad apples. It does get better though once the story settles in and some ponies can start being nice again. Luna is definitely a highlight of ponyness in this and so is Twilight. I think my biggest problem so far (I only read 30~% cuz i mismanaged my time) is that having a character who talks oddly like screwball is greatly diminished when the general writing is so technically bad and fully of errors that every character has pretty common scuffed dialogue. Ironically the author probably paid the most attention while writing Screwball's lines. Also there's way too many music references and perhaps references in general.>Principal PlaceholderKek>Cherilee crashes out on red glareWhere'd that come from?>cheri thinks screwy shouldn't play role playing gameshuh>>42875496>very loosely pony-themed. As soon as the first chapter ends and we're out of Ponyville, the fic turns into an all-OC cast ("Cheeri" has a bit in common with the FiM teacher, but she's mostly an OC, leaving basically just Luna's scenes) story happening in a 'bad district' with all the crime and abuse that goes on there.Yeah definitely agree. At least we get glimpses of acknowledgement of this from the princesses who are still trying to show these cretins some harmony like Celestia trying to force feed them money kek>The overall feel of the world and the lack of pony terms doens't help there.yeah, aside from mentioning how good Cheri is with her mouth and every colt mentioning her flank at some point, there isn't many more mundane mentions>once again the [Comedy] tries mucking up a perfectly serviceable SoL storyall my homies hate [Comedy]>I've had some issues with scene pacing and simply following what's going onabsolutely agreed. In particular the intro of the 2nd teacher showing up at ponyville replacing Cheri, but then immediately flashing back to when they I guess where Cherilee's teacher and spied on her and Lyra? Of course, none of this is helped by the author just dropping words>a pretty well-planned core plot that the author is writing aroundTrue, more than most early fics seem to have>The romance plotfug, haven't started that i guess unless it's just red glare actually getting his act together
>>42875500>For the good things:>- It's great to have a story focused on Cheerilee, and I liked her in this.>- Some Screwball passages are kind of cute.>- You can see it was made with good intentions and genuine warmth.agreed. Screwy definitely stepped her game up when it was needed and Cheri was being introduced to the school.>but the author also loves alliterations and seems to believe they're the peak of writingoh yeah, I somehow didn't make a note of that. Twilight might as well be a Zebra from a different town than Zecora where they speak in whole sentences of alliteration>Have pony scientists discovered it yet in the Large Fun Collider in Geneighva?kek I didn't mind this one but it really seems at odds with THIS equestria. There are simultaneously scientists researching fun with extreme budgets and school zones and administrations that exist to ruin the lives of ponies>>42875509>It doesn't help that I didn't like any characters except Cheerilee and maybe ScrewballYeah, I also liked the princesses and the pegasus math mare, but they barely show up so yeah I agree>- The Lyra subplot; about how she was picked on as a filly and moved to Ponyville from Canterlot because she's a lesbian, culminating in Cloudkicker (one of her bullies) being the reason nopony bothered checking if ponies were really dying in a cave-in, was eye-rollingwhat the kek, I haven't got to that yet but wew>I do think forcing myself to finish when I would have normally dropped it sooner tainted the whole thingwait what, you mean the whole fic?
>>42875756>when the general writing is so technically bad and fully of errorsfucking kek
>>42875773>wait what, you mean the whole fic?Yes, I'm retarded and didn't see we only did the first half this week.>>42875679
>>42875790to be fair to you, this was the op that also had me looking around for a bit:>/fimfic/ Secret Book ClubThe one hundred and forty third books are Tower of the Fallen Star and Succession:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/2432/school-dazeIf (You) want to participate, read up to and including "Chapter 7: Mad World" by December 14th.
>>42875500Late to the club, and I don't have much to say that hasn't already been said, but I'm going against the generally positive reception of Screwball. I absolutely cannot stand characters with tortuous speech quirks in fics. Granted, I can barely tolerate when writers go all the way with Applejack's accent, so my tolerance for this sort of thing must be low, but it's just a pain to translate every sentence back into plain English. Bomber Jacket could benefit from less lines, too, for the same reason. Can't bloody well stand it, it gets on my tits, innit?Miscellaneous note: the fic is non-pony in an uncanny, almost-pony-but-not-quite way, which makes the unponiness stand out even more than it would in fics where a departure from pony themes is part of the premise, like the ones from last week. Feels like those parts in the show where they fall back on Equestria being like America, but more so. Some of the one-to-one ponifications of human concepts were agonising.>"They’ll send me to the frontier, or move me to an inner-stable school where kids carry pies to class."Some of you ponies are alright. Don't come to Home Econ tomorrow.
>>42875989Cream pies for teachers.
>>42875989>I absolutely cannot stand characters with tortuous speech quirks in fics.Not a Homestuck fan, I take it
>>42876277I'm vicariously aware of Homestuck, but my only meaningful experience with it was when I told one of my Steam friends I didn't really care about it and he dragged me into a group chat struggle session where they all laughed at me for not liking it. I suppose I still haven't fully recovered.
>>42876288Jokes on them, they're all scarred for life now.
>>42876288Homestuck is proof that tumblr culture was never good.
Should I feel bad that this fic I'm writing is basically just an adventurous romp and has little depth in terms of character development
>>42876540Probably only if you don't tag it SoL
>>42876547But it's an adventure.
>>42876540Art is suffering, so you should always feel bad about your writing
>>42876540Character development is one of those 'writing rules' that you're free to bend or break if it's for a good, thought-out reason. Static characters are fine, if the narrative isn't supposed to be about how they learned and changed from the events that took place in it.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/413761/13/the-power-of-freedom/xii-preparation-is-keyStill reading this.I really like how it treats dream valley in its story as some ancient numinous (at least that’s the vibe I get) higher civilization of lost magical arts and knowledge. Such ancient fallen societies are always a favorite trope of mine in story telling.
I wanted to write a Hearth's Warming carol with a rhyme for "harmony", so I consulted a rhyming dictionary. Its best suggestion was "sodomy".
>>42875509>Cloudkicker (one of her bullies)A rare non-Winningverse personality Cloud Kicker. You should cherish it, anon.>>42876540As long as the plot's fun, character development's not that important. Especially if they're canon characters.>>42876547>adventurous romp>tag it SoL>>42877235The only full rhyme that works is some one syllable word with -ar and money:>tar money>bar money>star money>far money>car money
>>42875496well I finished this weeks reading>Sluice's letter was kino>The teacher meeting was a good scene but the montage was trash>prunecrop got promotedAnd why does the demolition of Luna's school have nothing to do with her? Actual grimdark school systemWow yea the romance is badHe brings her sluice's letter and helps her write a test and now they're like a thingConsidering she thought he was a rapist the first day it makes no sense>discord calls screwball a bonerWtf>the school has a parking lotThere's some good ideas here, but damn are they buried under some shit. The radio couldve been kino but instead she tells blueblood she's gonna make him go bananas on the moon and fluttershy yays a lot>the leather jacket is ClintThe idea that he became the families most cherished heirloom is kino
are there any fics about the struggles of a transgender pony but the happy ending of the fic is the main character detransitioning and being happier for it?
>>42877666my diary desu
>>42877333>-moneyparsimony
>>42877802Say that out loud. Parsi-money. Does that sound right to you? It's barely even an eye rhyme. You ought to feel very silly.
>>42877333>>You're right, Mitch H is the only one who could pull it off and he wouldn't be in here.I still remember Reviewfilly dropping the Daetrinlogy because Twilight, specifically, didn't get enough character development in one of them.Fluffventureanon hasn't got a chance.
>>42877896I should buy some of those toys. The mares always look so happy.
>>42877666I don't know what would be more kino: the fic or the blueballed troons in the comments.
So the real takeaway from Days of Wasp and Spider is that cops are fucking idiots that make every situation worse
>>42878631Well, it's that no amount of safeguards will save you from the consequences of enslaving a species that's actually better than your own, but it has lesser takeaways like that one, yeah.And that prestressed concrete is a versatile construction material.
>>42878724That's the most manly looking woman I have ever seen. I say that having spent many of my teenager years on a futanari forum.
>>42878725That's puberty for you.
>>42878664>will save you from the consequences of enslaving a species that's actually better than your ownTheir fault for designing them that way.
>>42878664>no amount of safeguards will save you from the consequences of enslaving a species that's actually better than your ownI can think of several historical examples of this past present and future no I will not say what they are.>>42878725> I say that having spent many of my teenager years on a futanari forum.w h a th a t wa t w at w h a
I just finished a story of two thousand and some words about Queen Chrysalis falling over herself:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/582238/2/tall-tales-of-the-one-true-queen-and-her-many-children/gravid-gravitationsHow are you guys lately?
>>42876650This story had a pretty good first chapter but got worse as the story progressed. Link, Zelda, and ganondorf initially started off fairly well characterized but drifted into Mary sue schlock. Also the author for some reason has this fixation about “muh racism bad and illogical” that is presented in a smarmy self righteous manner as is it’s obvious when it adds nothing to the story and in fact waters down and detracts from the main plot point centered abound the three tribes as the heartwarming myth plays out and the main characters with their story being interwoven into that. It doesn’t even make sense to frame it like that since that’s not how it was framed in canon nor were the ponies depicted as seeing it that way. To be honest the first chapter works fairly well as a standalone Zelda one shot fic. If you just read it as if it’s that and not read the rest of the story you will probably find it more enjoyable.
>>42878917Finished the outline for my Jinglemas story.Now to ignore it until three days before the deadline.
>>42878784>Their fault for designing them that way.I thought the ponies were created by the elements, in a process the dogs didn't really control or understand
>>42879081Yes, in the sense that the Stones did the heavy lifting, but no in the sense that the Stones were used with intent and created them the way they were designed. The Stones have significantly less agency than the Elements, which are more "magic do what you will."
>>42879081>in a process the dogs didn't really control or understandIs it really sci-fi if they're NOT tampering with shit they don't understand?
>>42878917When she's going to beat them to death in a fit of inbred rage
>>42879356Does this mean Luna's actually a dude and that Celestia fucked a dragon and hid the baby inside another world
>>42879449It means she found a cool costume from a dream or something and felt like trying it on.
>>42879449>>42879452Maybe from here
>clopfic on topOkay sure>Sexy bounty hunter catches up with a pegasus thief and he overpowers and impregnates herOkay cool>Also she's a ghost Huh?
>>42879369In the next chapter, she's going to brush her magic where she's planning to sit and pull one to safety before slamming her butt on the ground. She's also going to wonder why ponies say they could "just eat you up" to babies, since they're generally too big for that after just a few months.I'm really liking how I'm writing these. The paragraphs are big, and there's no dialogue so far.
how does one stop being terrible at writing?
>>42879885Practice.
>>42879885The usual answer, as seen above, is "just do more of it", but I feel that fails to address what people are really looking for when they ask, which is "how can I get better, faster?" My advice would be to step out of your comfort zone and keep challenging yourself. If you wish to see what complacency brings, you need only look at the sinbin.
>>42879927Good point. I should elaborate.>>42879885Write something that isn't fanfiction. Start a blog or something. This is like when artists talk about "practicing fundamentals" even if they really just want to draw porn the whole time.
>>42879885Reading a lot helps. I'm talking mainly about published works as opposed to fanfiction. Find authors that you like and pay attention to how they write and try to adapt that into your own style.Consider also journalling, writing down thoughts that come to you in a notebook or word processing app.
>>42879885You don't. I'm terrible. You're terrible. We're all terrible.
>>42879885Sell your soul to a demon
>>42879885Not sure honestly, I try to write in a way that would be compelling to me and emulate what hooks me when I myself read. I guess you just write how you best think to write then absorb constructive criticism and feedback from yourself and the people who read your stuff
>>42879885You don't.
I did not know that Daetrin's post-pony writing career included (one?) litRPG book with smut, but it being about a fox girl (the good kind, not the furry kind) makes it slightly less morally bankrupt.
It's happening, bros.
>>42880739Link? All I found was https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17212754-the-demon-of-cliffside which doesn't appear to be litrpg nor about a fox girl
>>42880794It's https://www.amazon.com/Blue-Core-Book-Inadvisably-Compelled-ebook/dp/B093ZDK97MShould be on Royal Road as well, but I got there from Paul reviewing his Sunless Sea / Cultist Sim-inspired Weird Fiction story. I might actually read that one. It's really impressive how great his (Daetrin's) taste is.
>>42878904Yeah, I got hooked on SlaveMaker. The main forum for it was a futa one.
>>42880758He already knew we were shit
I forgot how educated this thread ishttps://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40282317/#40282885
>>42881434Clearly we need to do a survey for education levels.https://strawpoll.com/e7ZJajeYWg3
>>42881468Getting my degree was such a shitshow it killed my desire to get a Master's.At least until I hit 40.
My new favorite example of "author makes a fool of themselves completely unprompted in a blogpost" is a slopthor who posted a "certificate of writing ability" that chatGPT made for him with his real name on it after it "trained" him to write.https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1132982/certificate
>>42881586>Brown
>>42881586>diaper faggotry and outright pedo shit>AI broThat tracks
>>42881586Oh, I know this guy. He got upset because the discord would bully him for humanizing ChatGPT and calling it "her"
>>42881603Nah but bro is a fucking unc :skull:https://youtube.com/shorts/nBja5FJaCoMI feel bad about bringing up a technically-not-writing topic, so here's a story I enjoyed recently.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/267789/something-like-laughterI can really relate to the whole thing of wanting to make friends/interact with someone but just kind of hanging out on the sidelines like a bitch and hoping it spontaneously materializes one day instead of just saying something, so maybe I just liked it because it hit close to home.
>>42881709People need to stop writing stories about how sentient robots deserve rights, because it's starting to make these idiots not realize it's not the same.
>>42881714Fucking kek. I thought he was an early 20s NEET.
>>42881714Why is he like this when he looks old enough to be my dad
>>42879885Read. Not just "good" fanfics but actually published novels. Things a professional editing spent weeks combing through. Then you let whatever idea you have sit and stew for a while. Give it at least a few weeks to percolate and develop before you actually start writing it. That gives you time to realize how bad some of the ideas might be or how this direction or that is better. When you actually do start writing, wait until the next day to read what you wrote. Looking at it with a fresh mind can help you pick up on grammar/spelling issues or larger plot problems that may have happened.
A while ago someone made a joke about Twi mistaking LaTeX for latex or something similar, and when it was pointed out they're pronounced differently they said that would be part of the humour too, and I've now realised they thought LaTeX was just pronounced with a different inflection or accent and not with a completely different sound.
>>42881468
>>42882308I forgot to actually type out my post because of the stupid ass new captcha shit. At this point why not just fucking shut down the whole website and sell the domain name to an Indian already because it’s not like this is going to attract MORE posters.Anyways who are the doctors here and how smart actually are you?
>>42882252\begin{smugness}\begin{superiority}I can't understand why you don't just appreciate my joke for the cheap gag it was, but boy does it make me think I'm smarter than you.\end{superiority}\end{smugness}
>>42882315I like the new captcha
>>42882315>Anyways who are the doctors here and how smart actually are you?Ph.D. in CS here, and not smart enough to understand the new captcha apparently
>>42882329It feels like something you'd see in an analog horror video.
Man, it sucks having to broadcast signals into space to get smart enough beings on the support line so I can post now, this new captcha sucks.
>>42882328But your cheap gag hinges on the idea that Twilight would mix up -tek and -tex, which makes zero sense and literally only works in written form. Unless you're implying a meta universe in which the characters only exist in written form, your joke is bad and you should feel bad.
The new Captcha is literally kino and if you're filtered by it you are so dumb that preventing you from posting is factually improving the website.
>>42882363This reminds me that I fucking hate how Voices of the Void devolves into quirk chungus reddit tier garbage with its setting despite the kino autistic gameplay.
>>42882368I haven't got it wrong yet apart from the first few times where I didn't press next so I'm inclined to agree with you
>>42882368This one is also faster than previous ones.
>>42882364Actually, the premise is that Twilight assumes that Luna is mixing the pronunciations up. I don’t even think I can count all the ways I’ve heard LaTeX mispronounced. Go back and reread it and you’ll see it makes perfect sense that way (unless you’re an autist, which is looking likely). Also,>works in written formAnon, I…
>>42882414>Go back and rereadHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
>>42880810Neat. I just finished book 1 of his posthuman sysapoc scifi thing—it was fun.https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/83315/systema-delenda-est
>>42883164Who invited Derpy
>>42883188She just keeps showing up.
>>42883327Well tell her to go home to her family
>>42882359>"Complete this test to confirm that you are a human.">Half of the site's users complain about it.There's analog horror here, but it's not the captcha.
>>42883456Literal first grade tests that they're failing lmao
>>42882368I don't even know how it works exactly. I'm not sure if I'm doing things right or just lucky.
>>42883493>just do a test for first graders to get permission post on the horse fucking board of a Mongolian basket weaving forum bro ^:)
>>42883526To filter out the particularly stupid people.
>>42883544And how's that working out, hm?
>>42883544>filter out the particularly stupid people.Eugenics
> Le me> Make a story in G4> It's good. It makes me happy.> Eventually, G4 ends, and so does my story.> feelsbadman, but this isn't my first rodeo. This happened to Bionicle before, it ain't the end of the world. These things happen, and all stories end.> Eventually, G5 is coming out> They say that it'll be expanding on the G4 canon.> Sounds... Good? Let's see how this goes> It releases> It's abysmal dogshit> There's a skeleton of what could have been AMAZING in there, but the writers play chicken on whether they want to hop on the G4 train or make this series stand-alone, making it feel like "hey gaise, remember the time when the Twilight Sparkle? Remember the celestias? Here they are! Are they important? Shut up and buy our shit."> I could write a better story than this, come on.> In fact, I do. Or really, I am. In the process. It expands on my G4 fic, but it's just so much better because I chose what I want the story to be and stuck with it.Maybe if I grow some testes, I'll upload some story on fimfic. Really, I just wanted to encourage y'all to re-write G5 to your tastes. don't be afraid to change so much about it!
>>42883614I want to rewrite g% where Sunny, Izzy, and Zipp are sisters who are products of a secret eugenics program to create an alicorn to reunite the tribes.
>>42883589Eugenics are good. If the losing side of WW2 hadn't made them one of their talking points we'd be openly adopting them nowadays and for the better.
>>42883614>"by story is really good">hasn't shown it to people Oh no no no Anon...
>>42883614>Really, I just wanted to encourage y'all to re-write G5 to your tastes.No.
>>42883589Actually it's eumemics.>>42883587The quality of the posts remains bad, so imagine how much worse it could be without the filter. Actually I should check /pc/ to see if it's gotten better, some people there might be legitimately challenged by this.
>>42883621That sounds sick as fuck. Just remember, you can have whatever story time you want, but try to maintain the tone.>>42883636I get you hate G5. I hate it too. But isn't that WHY we should re-write it? Make it better?>>42883635Yeah pretty much. It's only good because I like it, and I'm too much of a massive pussy to upload anything.
>>42883644>I get you hate G5. I hate it too. But isn't that WHY we should re-write it? Make it better?No, it's not. I won't be limited by what paid hacks shit out. I'll ignore it. I would maybe write a fixfic for Tempest Shadow at some point, because she's an interesting character and the film could've been better, but that's about the extent of the itch for me.
>>42883651This but with G4. I exclusively write OC only AU fics so I'm not limited by Hasbro's mistakes.
>>42883651>she's an interesting characterWe get it, you're circumcised.
>>42883651If you don't want to write on what some paid hack shat out, why not change it to something that suits your liking? Literally everything can be changed. G5 could be your canvas, and anything you don't like, leaves. Anything you do like? Stays. Hate Pip Petals? BOOM. she's gone. Never existed. You can write a story without her. Want less technology? BOOM. Earth Pony society now centers entirely on agriculture and shit. This goes for anything. Nobody cares about G5 canon, so you can make your own. Better than Hasbro or whatever.
>>42883668>Tempest Shadow works for evil because he promises to give her a new horn>Sentinel Prime steals cogs from unactivated, defenseless Cybertronians to create a weak, slave underclassHasbro movies just keep going with the circumcision metaphors, which is odd for such a Jewish corporation. >>42883670Sometimes the only way to correct something is to destroy it or, in this case, ignore it.
>>42883676>which is odd for such a Jewish corporationThey say: Write what you know.
>>42883676>has seen TFORare based moment from you.
>>42883664You should aspire to be something better than that.
>>42883676Finally, an interesting post.
>>42883676No. Big sis taught me that there's always a way to BUILD a solution rather than destroy it. There really is a recipe for goodness hidden in the broken pieces of G5, though marred it may look from the bastardization of out of touch corpos. I CAN fix G5. I've been doing it for a while now, although never really sharing with the community. I get my wisdom teeth pulled, so I'll have plenty of free time. It's about time I put my new keyboard to use.
>>42883725Why not write clop about a ponified version of your sister instead?
>>42883621Isn't Sunny implied to be Celestia's descendant or something?
>>42883725The only hard element I struggle to correct in G5 is the sheer smallness of the world. I want to do a G5 fic and part of me just wants to ignore that entirely and just handwave the rest of Equestria as desegregating over years and years as they look more towards Sunny as their superior alicorn goddess, because if ponies are anything it's natural royalists.
Fics about the divine right of alicorns to rule?
>>42883916https://www.fimfiction.net/story/197090
>>42883916>>42866134
>>42884466Cute!
>>42883897Twilight's reincarnation.
>>42884466Any comfy married fics?If you suggest My Little Marriage a new anthro clopfic gets to the featured box.
>>42884562https://www.fimfiction.net/story/500819/
>>42884563Not a marriage fic. You should have linked ToD instead.
>>42881468Can you post country stats? You can see the statistics as the poll creator
>>42884540She's still alive though
>>42884562Married as in getting married or already married
more luna suffering stories are happening in the anonstallion thread
>>42884887Already married, if possible
>>42885062>anonstallion threadof course luna would be suffering in there
>>42885062Quit killing Luna's kids. Is that so hard?
>>42885904My headcanon is that Luna would be a good mother. My headcanon is also that most of the mares in the show would be good mothers.
>>42885927Which wouldn't be the good ones?
>>42885958Spoiled, Celestia, Rarity.
>>42885958We've already discussed why Chrysalis would be bad...
>>42886027What if she has hopeful, non-inbred offspring?
>>42886113She should give them back to their parents.
>>42885927I like it when fics make Luna the sister that's actually good with kids.
>>42886014All proven in canon to be ineffective parents, yes.
What fic?
>>42884887>fics about getting marriedMine. Hopefully I can clear out my backlog so I can start it next month...
>>42886367Mine.
>>42886367I'll share stories in my "finished reading" that I can not remember much of anything from, I think that kinda fits.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/368526/the-color-of-the-starshttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/367121/inoculationhttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/174393/ds-mhttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/30847/believing-storieshttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/145711/hard-reset-2-reset-harderhttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/472137/the-earth-is-not-a-cold-dead-place
I just want to write slice of life familyslop and marriageslop but the Plot gets in the way.
>>42886428Happens to a lot of marriages, I've heard.
>>42886433>I want to love my wife but her ass is just too fat!
>>42886428Sometimes it does, but I don't mind.
>>42882252>make autistic word processing/typesetting program>name it latex so it has a catchy, memorable name to attract users>I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as latex, is in fact, the capital Greek letters tau, epsilon, and chi, or as I've recently taken to calling them, lahtech.>>42883614>re-write G5 to your tastesWhy do that when I can just do HWE fics? It's the same shit, just with a way better setup and setting.>>42886422>D=S-M I still remember that one because it has a literal train wreck that immediately precedes the ending's. Like a kind of meta foreshadowing.
>>42886702Kingdom Hearts has a keyblade called the Xblade where the X is actually the letter Chi so it's literally pronounced Key-blade.
>>42886702LaTeX isn't autistic; Lamport was merely standing on the shoulders of autists. Knuth is the true autist. True autists use plain TeX, and they pronounce it with a voiceless velar fricative.>inb4 someone chastises me for not recognizing the copypasta
>>42887107My favourite KH keyblade name has to be No Name being called that because Luxu and the MoM were both different kind of idiots. One of the few good things to come out of Back Cover.
Fics with very rapid changes?Pic unrelated.
>>42887753Mine because I panicked and put a 5 year timeskip in the middle.
>>42887753https://www.fimfiction.net/story/57463/twilight-sparkle-night-shift
>>42887753>>42884563
The pomodoro method undeniably works, but only in intervals of 40 minutes or greater because my brain has a slow load time.
Any fics where Cadance is actually a changeling and has been all along
>>42888372https://www.fimfiction.net/group/202642/folder/26584/princessesMaybe https://www.fimfiction.net/story/155581/sisters-forever
>>42880810How sure are you that this is Daetrin? The timeline looks right, but I just finished Systema Delenda Est and it was kinda mediocre. It was decently written, but was mostly lacking in emotional punch, and the main character demonstrated a truly impressive lack of character development throughout the story. It had a good number of fight scenes, but only about 1.5 of them were good (the one good one was REALLY cool though). I can think of more memorable scenes from Daetrin's Apotheverse fics than from SDE, and Apotheverse is half the length and I haven't read any of it in years. I stuck with it partly because I wanted to see how the main conflict of the story got resolved, but it wasn't nearly as clever as I was hoping. I was also hoping for a reveal of how the System actually works, which didn't happen at all.On a related note, has anyone read any "normal" sysapoc stories? I saw a review on SDE saying "this really puts the 'apocalypse' in 'system apocalypse'", which makes me wonder what the hell everyone else is doing. I had been thinking that sysapoc was a sort of anti-litRPG (in the sense of anti-TCB, i.e. "litRPG but it's a bad thing"), but it sounds like maybe sysapoc is litRPG + postapocalypse, and SDE is anti-sysapoc.
Halfway through the second Days of Wasp and Spider. As far as heinous dehumanizing crimes go, I'd say it's hard to beat liquefying babies to turn them into prototype robotic processors.
>>42889024Well, DoWaS beats that. Arguably, babies aren't people until they've developed from a food-into-shit-converter into something more resembling a person. Naraka specifically waits until they can spellcast (I think 3-6 years, definitely speaking) before harvesting them. Also, they don't retain any processing capability: the only neural tissue is that required to activate the horn. A real computer would do the processing. So, between those two details, it's even more dehumanizing.
>>42889062I dunno, turning a three year old into mechanically separated chicken inside a metal barrel seems almost more heinous than doing it to a newborn.
>>42889066It's more fun, though.
>>42889066That's literally what he said.
>>42888835>How sure are you that this is Daetrin?Like you said, the timeline matches up, and I'm taking Paul Asaran's word on it. It doesn't appear to be common knowledge, but he said that:>When Daetrin brought up the fact that they also wrote original fiction under a pseudonym, they informed me that Chasing Sunlight was not their best work, but it was their favorite.And Daetrin mentioned that if someone asks him, he doesn't mind pointing to his non-pony works.So unless Paul decided to make shit up for absolutely no reason, it really should be Daetrin. I would like to go through at least one to check if the style is consistent, but you saying that it reads worse is concerning. Could be a matter of writing out of the pure desire to create vs. writing for money, too.
>>42889393As someone who also does original fiction, your first works in it will come out a little awkward even if you're good with horses. My best stuff so far has always been when I was reskinning pony characters and stealing from other fics.
>>42889404>your first works in it will come out a little awkwardSDE is his fourth story on RR. He also has a self-published book on Amazon from 2012
>>42887107I never played past KH 2. How was the rest?
>>42888032The only good thing about Pomodoro is that it forces you to not let your breaks get too long. The real fix is to love what you do so much that you do it for fun, but it takes a few years of torture before you get there.
>>42889494'Firsts works' lasts until you're at least 7 works deep.
>>42889532Gameplay wise some of them are really fucking good. Music remains incredible throughout. Story wise you will never stop wanting to murder Nomura in the most painful way imaginable (except for BBS, that one's good).
>>42889543For me, it works because I like writing with more structure. I feel more comfortable writing with a stopwatch and cataloging how long I write daily, and how many words I wrote on that day. I consider that fun.>it forces you to not let your breaks get too longThis is true, but I notice it more when working rather than writing in my free time.
>>42889404I did 'original fiction' before I did horse. I like horse better. Horse makes me happy. Original fiction makes me miserable.
>>42889094Do not mechanically separate the chikun
>Alicorn updated after five yearsHoly shit
>>42889737I would like for this to happen to me and some dead fic I like one day. I have had several instances of some fic author posting a new chapter after months or years of unofficial hiatus and saying they will write more only to go radio silent and never finish the fic.I don’t know which is worse, the aforementioned, or watching a fic or fic series have the time between chapters slowly drag out longer and longer as the story slowly mutates away from the original core premise until it may as well be a different story and then also never get finished.
>>42889761https://www.fimfiction.net/story/413761/the-power-of-freedomI go on fimfic after posting this and see that this story just got updated today after over a year. Shortly after I decided to drop it. It’s like I’m being toyed with.
>>42889779It's me. I'm the cold and cruel god that's toying with you emotionally.
>>42889761I like to dream that one day I'll open FimFiction and Skirts will have returned to finish Austraeoh.
>>42889800The way he decided to fuck off near the end of the 8th fic of all places makes me so mad
>>42889809Sounds like he should have stopped at 7
>>42889728Original fiction makes me money.
>>42889809Skirts has always been a mentally ill person whose ramblings people (himself included) mistook for an artsy persona.
>>42889823There's more to life than trying to figure out how to monetize what used to bring you joy.
>>42889809He took a two year hiatus while writing Ofolrodi, came back, and I guess just burnt out on the whole thing. Damn shame.
>>42889816He should've stopped at 1. Take a drink every time you see "forelimb" or "pendant" in all 8 fics for a fun game!
>>42889836I need to eat, anon.
>>42889864That's what a job is for.
>>42889858
>>42889906Just write it all at once.
>>42889906Perytonia is an excellent fic that was published quite rapidly. Lost and Found is good.LOYALTY was published all at once, and is a decent fic.I also enjoyed GTG a lot.
>>42889906I'm not seeing the drawback on a good short story that gets published quickly. Good implies the story didn't need to be long. I'm taking away is that a good long story takes time, which is obvious.
>>42890023Oh yeah, and Cypress Zero was fine.
>>42889893Go on and connect the dots.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/585914/keys-to-the-kingdomGot one more fic out before the year's end.
Fics where Harmony is an actual character and not a vague force and also where they're not a villain?
>>42890643StN
>>42890905Finally, Dad Luna.
>>42887753https://www.fimfiction.net/story/525993/second-fleshHas Dash absolutely horrified by Twilight using a clone to tank damage before immediately strapping her own to the table.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/522286/the-twilight-theoryEvil!Twilight Any% Speedrun [No Dark Magic Corruption] [No Who Wants to Live Forever?]>>42889779>Nov 2023>June 2024>Dec 2025That's just his yearly update, anon.
>>42890643Behemoth
Yeah, I feel nothing,>/FSBC/This fic is a little infuriating in how, at best, it is merely "ok". I could spend the next 2000 characters talking about the plot points and characters, but desu, last week's discussion basically covers that as well. There were no shocking reveals (not that you'd expect them), massive quality shifts, etc. And >>42875509 already summed up everything in the second half, too—I'd have to more or less paraphrase his opinions to say anything.Well, the one thing I should mention is that the references get a little unbearable, and needing to marathon this half made me lose most of the fondness I had for the story in week 1. Also, I'm taking back the comment about the romance. To me, it felt cute in week 1—perhaps owing to the juxtaposition with the TwiCord fic we read before it—but as the fic continued, I was cured of those opinions. If you told me uncomplicated and clichéd stories full of reference "humor" are your guilty pleasure, I could imagine (You) liking this fic. Especially if you're a Cheerilee fan! Again, this is not bad-bad, and having a decent amount of thought put into it raises it from the muck. 900 updoots on a 2011 fic of this quality is probably about right. I'm not sure if I agree with the anon who clubbed the whole fic last week that "it had potential". From reading it, I was constantly thinking about how all the effort spent on it went towards ensuring it meets this exact level of quality. The author is very eager to rest his pen on any cliché or writing shortcut in range. Perhaps this was more or less the best he could've done. That's fine. It's still better than a great amount of stories on fimfiction.I am maybe a bit too hard on the fic. Not everything needs to be overrated trash or a hidden gem. If I had to put it into numbers, I think it's a 5/10.Next week... Well, it's Christmas! If you have any Hearthswarm'y fic suggestions, now is the time to share them! Otherwise, we could reread some kind of a nice oldfic. There's no better time for that, either!
>>42891421https://www.fimfiction.net/story/93573/the-most-inappropriate-hearthswarming-stories-for-foalshttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/72777/a-canterlot-carolHere is two that could maybe be read.
>>42891421I'm retarded and I posted the full review the previous week, so I guess I'm just going to link to it. Sorry again about that.>>42875500>>42875509Don't have anything more to add, except I also remember a passage where Celestia is making faces at a prostrating Cheerilee, and the idea she's doing that to each pony that does so is funny.
>>42891421>>42891450Did we ever read this one?https://www.fimfiction.net/story/56826/yes-apple-bloom-there-is-a-santa-hooves
>>42891421I liked the song.
Nice club.Holy ESLkino:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/585873/awareness-of-the-danger
>>42891421>"Then she stopped treating me like a stalker."Even red acknowledged that she did a random 180 on him>Orchid Petal the milf>"He was aiming for Cloudsdale."Unexpected kino, or maybe kek "tie me to a rocket and fire me at cloudsdale!">earning a cutie mark mid crisisKino morale boostOverall, the romance sucks, discord sucks, the writing is full of errors, cherilee's OCness sucks, the references suck the climax mostly sucks and yet, despite all that, I liked it when cherilee was just interacting with her students. I actually liked the kids by the end, and they certainly fit into the story better than the twolot kids since this is an oc fic. And the kid's part of the ending was fine, just all the dumb shit from discord and the adults sucked. Also I did not care for Screwy at first but aside from constantly bleeding, screwball is definitely cute and I ended up liking her.>>42891421>This fic is a little infuriating in how, at best, it is merely "ok"Yeah, it could've been a lot better with a few changes and any sort of proof reading pass>Well, the one thing I should mention is that the references get a little unbearablePersonally, they always were. Music references are probably one of the worst for me and that's like half of Cherilee's character>and needing to marathon this half made me lose most of the fondness I had for the story in week 1I actually ended up liking this week significantly more>but as the fic continued, I was cured of those opinionskek>>42891459Yeah the entire cave setup is retarded. In a city full of ponies with mining cutie marks none of them can tell a cave in just happened? The only safety personnel for the entire cave is inside the cave where they would also get sealed in if there was a cave-in? When someone runs into town screaming about a cave-in, nobody believes them? This town would've actually killed itself off by now I think. And the cave-in should've just been caused by the student's rockets and discord shouldn't have been in the fic. As it is, he's just some sort of agent of fate. His entire plan after getting freed was to meticulously fuck with Cherilee so she gets closer to some faggot oc and then he can get put back into stone having played his part.>Screwball's arc is the best one, but it still needed better handling.>The problem is that we get these tangents while the main meat of the story, how Cheerilee saves the school and the students with her love and optimism, is badly paced and resolved with a Rocky montageCompletely agreed. The classroom sol was the best part. ultimately, everything else detracted from the fic>>42891525Oh yeah, I skipped the two songs kek. Being written like a screenplay was just too much. And I skipped the weird epilogue previews also>Captcha image was a crescent moonoh yeah, Luna was also a highlight as expected. Glad she took over as head of education at the end
>>42891450>>42891516These all look suitable. If that's all, I'll add https://www.fimfiction.net/story/71244/our-gifts and we'll have a respectable amount of words for next week.>>42891459>I'm retardedWe all are. Always. I wouldn't say you missed out on much by reading it in one go.>>42891525The bookclub hour was looming near so I glossed over it a bit. It's good that someone enjoyed it.>>42891581>spoilerAt least we're reading fics. You could be doing your part.>>42891585>I actually liked the kids by the endI didn't like them too much aside from Screwy, but they are written to be likeable. Screwy is cute. She doesn't save the fic for me. And I got used to "Lee's" OC-ness.>Music references are probably one of the worst for meThe fic goes all-out with those, but it makes some sense with Cheeri being so strongly influenced by her 80s phase. It's all the arrows in the knees and Eastwoods that were the most grating for me. I didn't expect to read about Hemingway-pony.>Yeah the entire cave setup is retarded.It is, yeah, and Discord is really bad here.>And I skipped the weird epilogue previews alsoIt was a little too much.
>>42891969Reshiram looking ass
>>42891300Fics where anon gets new material?
>>42892247>AiE
>>42892364I repeat the question
>>42892369The HIE genre is not for the faint of heart. It’s not just about sending humans into the world of Equestria; it’s about transcending the boundaries of fiction itself. Just as you wouldn't expect to stumble upon a Shakespearean play in a high school drama class, or find the nuances of a Tolstoy novel in a community book club, you simply cannot expect mere /fimfic/ posters to grasp and master the profound depths and soul-stirring complexities of the HIE genre. It's the apex of storytelling. Too intricate, too delicate, too soulful for most to comprehend, let alone capture in writing. The problem isn’t with the genre. The issue lies in its towering grandeur, which is just too monumental for the average writer. We don't lack good HIE stories; we lack the literary giants to pen them.
>>42892212No ass in that pic
Any fics like this?
>>42892458Pathetic.
>>42892458https://www.fimfiction.net/story/500819
>>42892458Every Buster Knutt fic
>>42892470So what fanfic do you goon to tunafag? What do you jork your schlork to hmm??
>>42892496Twilight's Plan
>>42892496If you want some good Tuna, you don't have to be so coy about asking for it.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/252132/approaches-to-preeninghttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/381107/over-the-moonAs for other collected horse smut,https://www.fimfiction.net/story/430453/under-the-maregna-cartas-dominion-or-even-a-princess-must-bow-before-the-law (at least, the chapters I like)https://www.fimfiction.net/story/531051/to-soothe-the-neurotic-beasthttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/467286/double-trouble (this guy can't seem to miss)https://www.fimfiction.net/story/560047/absencehttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/366290/luna-visits-a-stud-farm
>>42892529That's top shelf Tuna, but more entertaining than hot to me.
>>42892530I suppose it is my fault for taunting a person who has no shame and thinking it will agitate them.
I have never seen a hie fic where the human is a lawyer. Though I have seen two pony on earth fics involving lawyers. I dropped both of them.
>>42892572>"Welcome to Equestria, Anon," said Celestia. "I'm sure we can find a place for you in our society. What did you do on Earth?">"I was a lawy—URK!" Blood sprayed from a fresh slash across his neck. He collapsed to the floor.>Celestia's eyes narrowed. "Your kind isn't wanted here."
>>42892572You know who was a lawyer, anon?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOYrCHi7yjM
>>42892247It's literally true though.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/479815/everyday-life-with-guardsmares>few chapters in>huh this isn’t actually that ba->gay women drama from mares that are supposedly battle hardened from being on the front lineFailed to learn my lesson again about thinking that AIE stories might be good. I will certainly most definitely absolutely assuredly learn it this time and not repeat the cycle!
>>42892947Fell for it again award!
>>42892947AIE cannot be good because to be good Anon must be a character, and if he is a character then he is no longer anon. Shrimple as.
Does Artist actually have cerebral palsy
>finally adding to my Eris story againIt feels good to make progress. I even had the perfect idea on how to open it months ago, and I'm finally writing it.
>>42893089Unclear, though I've heard there's evidence that she doesn't. What is clear is that she's more interested in being treated specially than she is in acting like a decent human.
>>42893188Sometimes I want to write a story about not infantilizing disabled folks but I also fear interacting with her in any capacity.
>>42893237That's why God created alt accounts.
>>42893237Don't be a pussy.
My creative juices have started trickling for the first time in weeks. I even thought up a new OC, a story about or including whom I will never get around to writing. WAGMI
>>42893237Sometimes I want to write another story about not allowing mentally disabled people to poison discussions.
>>42893277Good. I hope I get the juices flowing so I can finish my Jinglemas story.
>>42893737Maybe teaching the masses to read and write was a mistake.
>>42892955I keep running into this whenever i try to make a quick green and i end up getting invested in the story and i find myself limited by the fact i started with an anon character. I just need to stop doing that
>>42893744>juices flowingAnon, it's Jinglemas, not the Summer Sin Celebration
>>42892947I skimmed through some of the rest of the chapters of this story and jesus christ is it boring. What is the point of writing AIE if there’s no self insert wish fulfillment of any sort? No happy mares falling in love or anything? It’s entirely antithetical to the existence of the genre.
>>42893960Ok there are technically mares falling in love but it takes ten times as long to get to the same point as other fics.
>>42893960It's a ficcization of ongoing greenslop. What did you expect? This is the fandom equivalent of Japan's light novel to manga to anime Isekai pipeline.
>>42893089>>42893089She does seem very devoted to her retard roleplay. And more in denial about having a fetish than SuperPinkBrony (tbdesu, if I were into diapers or retards, I'd deny it too).
>>42894038You are hereby banned from communicating anything to anyone for any reason for the crime of making up retarded terminology and words that rot my brain and make be want to exit this for forsaken plain of existence.
>>42894054Wait does SuperPinkBrony somehow deny he's a diaperfag?
I posted my Derpy conspiracy fic.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/350674/the-muffin-connectionA shame we couldn't get a collab going this year.Here's hoping that suggestion for a Valentine's project works better next year.
>>42894121That's two fics posted by anons that are conspiracy centric but not part of the collab.
You know the sinbin is the sinbin when their is niche fetish shit in it.
Is this really as good as it gets for finished sfw hie romance longfics? I’ve read a few of the more highly rated ones and they were all pretty mediocre.
>>42894193You expected anything less? I think the only one good there is Sun & The Rose
>>42894194>sun and the roseI read about 90% of that and then dropped it shortly after the climax of the story. Wouldn’t recommend.
>>42894164Least a few of them aren't HiE.
>>42894126Twice is just a coincidence. You don't have to worry about it until the third time.
>>42894118He doesn't, but he claims it's not a fetish, or at least used to.
>>42894310>I'm into it but it's not a fetishDishonesty is what gets you your ticket to Equestria rescinded. Someone should tell him that.
>>42894365>no visible age difference between the kids even though there should be a three year gap from oldest to youngest
>>42894428Bat ponies have litters.
>>42894429That defeats the point of the shitty joke.
>>42894441She's also pregnart, again
>>42894442>took her years for the second pregnancy
One sentence horror story.
>>42894551His pull out game is only matched by his low sperm count.
>>42883655wtf, same
>two anon stories in the sinboxWAGMI
>>42895014That's below par for the average Fimfiction day. Is nature healing?
>>42895079I rarely see anon stories on the sinbox though?
>>42895207There's one right now.
>>42895385One below it also is, was posted above
>>42892572>I have seen two pony on earth fics involving lawyersWas one of those the Daring/Indiana Jones fic where SCOTUS holds a full trial with witnesses and everything like it somehow holds original jurisdiction over interdimensional custody cases?>>42892947>reading deadficsHow many times do you have to be taught this lesson, anon?>>42894038>ongoing>>42894121Guess I'll toss together some kind of cover art for my griffon one, then.>>42894193Add "wilson:>80 views:<5000" (and -#equestria-girls if you don't want barbieshit) and see if any of those tickle your fancy.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/585969/the-pacifier-that-straightened-smiles>STORY TRANSLATED USING CHAT GPT AIKnowing this, the long description is obviously ChatGPT's artificial voice, at least that final paragraph.I wonder if this will stay up. I guess it will. I noticed the author had 44 stories, and every single one I checked had this same disclaimer. At least he or she notes it, and at least machine-generated text is smaller than machine-generated images.
>>42894365Fics with sexy batponies that are /also/ good and have interesting details about batpony society?
Anon, do you believe the resurrection of the flesh as promised by Jesus requires the preservation of the body, or are you chill with cremation?
>>42895578I want to die in a giant badass explosion.
>>42895597I think you should be upgrading from Christianity to the next major iteration of that God then.
>>42895504>translated>over 1,000,000 words in total>all published in the past 6 months>no links to the Polish originalsNeat trick. Have ChatGPT generate a fic in Polish, then have it translate the fic to English. Don't mention that it's generated (which is against the rules), but do mention that it was translated by ChatGPT (which is fine AFAIK). Now you have an excuse for why your gptslop sounds like gptslop and trips every detector in existence. If mods get suspicious, just send them the original Polish version—odds are good that none of them speak Polish well enough to recognize gptslop in that language.Can't say for sure whether this is what the author is doing, but the few chapters I looked at sounded way more like ChatGPT than I would expect from a translation of human-written text. The main evidence against comes from this blog post: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1130863/recomended-reading-order>1. Claims that the first story written was "Game of Growing Up", which was not the first story published>2. There are at least two stories on the list that haven't been translated yet ("Akolitka Spirali - Opowieśc Siostry Angel Shores Część Trzecia: Budowa Drugiej Spirali" and "Akolitka Spirali - Opowieśc Siostry Angel Shores Część Czwarta: Powrót do Spirali")
>>42895850who the fuck writes stories in polish
>>42895859Anon this might surprise you, but there's an entire country full of people who speak Polish
>>42895862I know that dumbass, I'm from the same general areaso, who the fuck writes stories in polish? when it comes to literature english is much more varied compared to the peasant languages around here and especially for something like MLP you'd have to use borrowed words that sound wrong for half the ficnobody writes anything in the local language
>>42895862Horrifying. Will they be okay?
>>42895931Clearly you don't know the history of Poland.
>>42895504>>42895850Jasny chuj. I thought he is on drugs or just has an autistically niche fetish, but reality is much worse.
>>42895859I haven't been a part of it since 2013, but the local community has remained active basically throughout the whole fandom history. In 2013, fic discussion was centered mostly on English "classics" translated into Polish (Fo:E and grimderp especially) and Polish fanfics. Granted, it could be blamed on the fact that knowing English at a level that'd allow you to read fics was a very uncommon skill in 2013. That has changed.>>42895867I don't like it much, but Polish is a very refined language with a rich history. Furthermore, Poles are generally a proud nation convinced of the superiority of the Polish language. Even among the highest-educated social classes you can run into plenty of people who claim that our language is better. There was a recent paper that showed Polish performing the best at AI prompting across all tested languages. As soon as the paper came out, you couldn't go half a day without someone casually bringing it up as a fun anecdote. Well, duh. It only confirmed what everyone "knew" already! The paper itself, once you read it, honestly admits that the presented evidence is insufficient to draw any hard conclusions from.There is academic pressure to read English articles, but those same people read exclusively in Polish for leisure. And if we're talking about non-English material, deliberately picking an English translation over a Polish one for private reading would be considered highly eccentric. Language nationalism is alive and well in PolandThe point being, I can definitely buy that Polish fandom produced a fair amount of horsewords.
Didn’t know this guy was still doing this. In fact I forgot about the guy who made fics with that one image over and over again until he posted this.
>>42896152And every single one of them sucks.
>>42896152What even is that fucking image
Finished both Days of Wasp and Spider and the sequel.Helium for worst dad 2025
>>42896195Isn't it a Mexican wrestling mask?
>>42896297ButWhy
>>42896267Nice, that was a fun one.
>>42896358Yeah, it was fun how 95% of the population died off in a nuclear exchange and subsequent winter fallout.And also that Celestia and Luna really wanted to be cummed inside.
>>42896152>>42896301I assume he does it for sort of brand recognition, not realising that his brand is basically a bucket of horse manure.
>>42896388One of those brightly colored tree frogs.
