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Yeeeah, work that grill baby.

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I hate chiggers

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>>42908350

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>>42908354

>>42908391
Well that one anon got his wish, can’t wait to see his green

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>>42908350
>>42908354
>>42908391
Ponies and changelings can't rape you if they're too busy fighting with each other. Nice call on the Divide and Conquer strategy, Anon.

>>42908439
>Turning the rape war into a race war

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Hey Candy, check this out.
>PLAPPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAP

>>42908616
Drones turn into Anon just to rile Candyass up. Anon is pretty sure his dick doesn’t look like that, but doesn’t correct them.

>>42908754
>Anon has never willingly looked at his own dick
>because that's gay, and Jesus wouldn't like that

>pg8

>>42908956
Splitting open to spit out eggs made him question the validity of their disguise of him.

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>Lets face it, Anon.
>You don't like these ponies because they drive you insane.
>I don't like them because they've foiled my plans.
>Think about it...
>How can we get back at them and benefit each other at the same time?
>Sleep with me~.
>Your pent up lust and need for love will empower me, and you get to ruin their fantasies of capturing your lonely heart.
>Not to mention, that prissy Princess Cadance would be completely beside herself if she found out.
>We both win, they suffer~.
>What do you say, big boy~?"

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>>42909595
>Right."
>"Time for firmer measures, then."

>>42909595
>>42909623
Well yes they do drive me insane. The other issue is that I am not attracted to any of you.

off 7

>>42908439
Ponies have a real bad win/lose ration against changelings.

>Look down at Fluttershy, in a changeling costume.
>She's also looking at a list.
"What's the hold up?"
>"Just a lot of different fetishes that a changeling can fulfill. Though I'm pretty sure an ovipositer is not a thing. I know my animals. Not something you can just have."
"Gross. Also they are shapeshifters, they can grow any kind of weird limb."
>Fluttershy looks up at you.
>Takes off her costume and smiles at you.
>"Is this your fetish?"
"Um?"
>"A changeling disguised as me to fail to get your love again?"
>A smirk crosses your face as your snort.
"You got me. That's funny."
>"I still need that changeling you got hogtied there. Need to drop it off to the guards."
>Changelings taking the form of Chrysalis to woo you.
>Layers of deception right there.
"So is that like wearing chitin face what you just did?"
>"Probably, but they always wear our skins. So we really don't feel bad about it."
>Pony racism ftw.

>>42910698
Okay that was pretty funny

>>42910827
Who taught you that dance?

>>42911055
SHE LEARNED IT FROM YOU OK?!

>>42911123
Stop peaking on me in private. I was having fun.

>>42908430
Took me a little longer than I thought

Based on a very short green I once made but I wanted to expand upon the idea a lot more

>Be Anon
>And be very, very anxious
>Before you lies several dozen cords running between magical arrays and mana-charged crystals directly into a smooth, seedlike pod
>The pod is large enough to cradle a full-sized pony and glows a sickly green through its glassy interior
>You had purchased the pod, dubbed a 'Hollow Lotus', for no small sum
>Apparently, a hive of Changeling's once took to engineering what you can only describe as a Rube Goldberg machine with the intent of subduing prey more efficiently
>The idea is simple; when placed into the pod the subject is lulled to sleep by magical arrays which are inlayed with enchanted silver and form the characters for 'sleep', 'dream', 'relaxation', 'calm' and a dozen more
>In other words, it makes you very sleepy
>Then, the pod emits a barely audible frequency that puts the subject into a form of heightened REM sleep for an indefinite period of time
>Furthermore, the subject's temples is embraced by thin tendrils which send slight electro-magic-magnetic impulses into specific regions of the brain, allowing for impossibly high accuracy, consistency, and clarity within dreams
>All of this for one simple task, to allow for intense fantasy dreaming
>Why (you) may ask?
>To harvest love efficiently and automatically on an industrial level scale
>It's called a 'Hollow Lotus' because the love stems from an even faker source than the usual brand of Changeling manipulation
>At least that form of love harvesting requires a second party to play the role of manipulator
>With this machine however, the love is completely "self-milked" in a sense, making it more hollow than anything else
>And the Lotus part comes from a very strange re-occurring similarity between Equestrian history and Greek Mythology
>Nonetheless, you've acquired what is one of the last remaining pods of the few that were ever made
>Changelings could never engineer such a device without kidnapping lead magical and engineering scholars from Canterlot. But, only a few were made before the Royal Guard tracked down the missing persons, raided the hive, and disposed of most of the pods. Most being the key word here. Either because of some pervy nobles wanting it for self-use, a general who wanted to reverse-engineer nightmare pods for interrogation, or the Office of Decommissioned Magical Artifacts misplaced some paperwork, some stuck around
>And your grubby little human hands got a hold of one
>Which brings us back to your house and your plan

>>42911271
>For once and for all you'd like to deal with your Fluttershy problem
>Short of murder, suicide, and murder-suicide, this is your final plan
>To lock Fluttershy into a state of euphoric dreams where she can be fully satiated with fantasies of you and your /little/ anon
>This way, you'll be left alone while she can be perfectly happy and none the wiser
>Secondly, you can use the love harvested from the pod to power your electricity
>That was a whole other thing you had to set up, but long story short, you can convert love energy to electricity and use it power a scrying orb connected to a type-writer that's both been imbued with the same dimensional frequency as yourself (Thanks Twilight)
>Something something, orb is vibrating to connect to Earth internet but needs electricity
>You're so close to shitposting again!
>So, you need to invite (gulp) Fluttershy inside and stick her into the pod!
>Which... is probably going to be really easy, just say something along the lines of "Watching ponies climb into glowing, humming pods is my fetish"
>So for now, you go to bed early at... 2:37 am
Fuck me, it'll be an exhausting morning tomorrow

>Screaming foals, Crowing roosters, and singing birds wake you up as Celestia beams down sunrays at 299,792,458 metres per second
>Truly, morning people were given too much power
>Groggily, you get up and do your usual routine of shit, shave, shower before sitting down to eat a bowl of cereal
>You'd actually very much like to finish said bowl of cereal before Yellow Rapist arrives, but you know that's not how the universe works
>*Knock* *knock*
>(sigh)
>Getting up, you walk to the front door
>Okay, it's /go/ time
>Opening the door you see Fluttershy in a clown getup, but with a massive frown accentuated by thick red lips
>She has a white-painted face with heavy black liner circling the eyes with a single painted teardrop sitting just beneath one eye
>her costume is oversized and slightly shabby with a pale blue and dusty red colour scheme
Uhh... you've already done clowns before. And jesters. And harlequins.
>"But I haven't done sad clowns yet, Anon. W-well? Does it do anything for you? I'm oh so very saaaad. hic… sob… nobody laughs at my jokes... boohoo... doesn't that make you want to rut me and make me cry out louder...?"
...Maaaaybe? Would you like to... (sigh) come inside so we can test this a bit more?
>You flinch back at her reaction

>>42911276
>Her eyes widen larger then you've ever seen before, she leans her head forwards and moves her gaze upwards as she does. Her voice comes out in a breathy hiss
>"You mean I can come in... with permission? You won't yell or punt me afterwards? I can look around? I can s-sit on your furniture? I can take deep breaths? I can mentally rearrange furniture? Icanplanoutwherecribscouldbe? Icanimagineallthedifferentspotswe'd-
Shut up! Just... come inside
>You hold the door open and let Fluttershy walk in
>Of course, she takes a whiff of your backside as she passes by that sends a shiver up your spine
>Closing the door, you walk over to the living room where you have the Hollow Lotus primed and ready
>Fluttershy momentarily stands still, looking the machine over
>"Umm... what is this? Oh! I mean... boohoo, this weird machine makes me so sad."
>Right, she's still committing to that clown bit
Y'know Fluttershy, while the sad clown thing got me going just a little bit I think you crawling into that there pod would REALLY get me excited.
>"Are you sure? Because I don't really want to give up on this fetish guess quite yet. It worked well enough to get me inside your house. ...Um... hic, "But Doctor, I Am Pagliacci!"... wait, I messed that up..."
>This time your frowning just as hard
Fluttershy, get inside the fucking pod
>"S-sorry!"
>Fluttershy, still in her clown getup, climbs into the pod
>She leans back into the reclined seat surrounded by green-lighted magic circuitry
>It pisses you off whenever you think about how close this society is to actual computers and satellites
So, how are you feeling?
>"It's comfy! Oh, I mean, it's sad and awful! I hate it"
Fluttershy, you can drop the sad clown thing, I-, y'know what? Doesn't matter.
>You shut the lid and activate the machine
>You can see how it was obviously the first model of its kind as the loud whirring it's giving off is far from comforting and sleep-inducing
>However, you give Fluttershy a thumbs up (An act she perceives as an innuendo for sodomy) and she gives you a lustful grin and relaxes into the pod
>Soon, her eyes begin to droop as she falls into her deep slumber
>Not long after that, her hind legs twitch occasionally as you can hear the faintest moans escape her
>Success!
>You look at the readings on the side terminal and everything appears to be within expected parameters
>You race to your scrying orb hoping against hope it doesn't blow a fuse and see it's starting up
>Eyes bulge, sweat forms, knees shake, hand tremble....
YES FUCK YES BABY LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
>Pulling up a chair, you sit down at your new 'puter and get to work shitposting on your favourite little image board
...What the FUCK is this new captcha?

>>42911286
>Days pass
>The pod hums continuously as Fluttershy remains inside dreaming up whatever
>Luckily, the pod slows down pony metabolism and provides nutrients using the same green goop Changelings use when they... egg-inject you? Rape you? Whatever
>Point is, besides stocking up on some changeling goop every now and then (God knows how much is still splattered over Canterlot during the failed takeover) you can pretty much leave things be
>During the last few days things have been great
>Instead of avoiding everybody staring at a wall inside like you've been doing, you can avoid everybody stating at a screen like you used to do!
>And boy oh boy have you been staring!
>You've never felt like a truer poster than you have until now
>Posting on /v/ despite not having played a video game since arriving in Equestria. Posting on /fit/ despite never taking advantage of the fresh food and clean air here, /adv/ when you have no world experience even after getting isekai'd, /lit/ after calling books gay to Twilight, and so much more
>Nobody really questioned Fluttershy's sudden disappearance as it's not too uncommon for her to go unseen for extended periods of time anyways
>Yup, everything is just perfect! What could possibly go wrong?

>Be Luna
>And confound it, be confused
>The last few nights has seen a steady rise to a new anomaly within the Dreamscape
>It's viscous and pink, like a tumor pressing against the cells around it
>It wouldn't be too much of a concern if it weren't for the fact that it's growing. And growing fast
>So far all attempts to expunge it have been met with failure
>Blasting it with magic (Your go-to method) surprisingly didn't work
>Whatever punctures you made were quickly sewn back together and further attempts at storming its walls began to yield less and less results
>It's almost adaptive
>Next, you tried diplomacy, a tactic your sister is overly in favour of in these times
>You still feel dueling that Diamond Dog union rep would've been the better move instead of negotiating "safer" mining policies. Stupid mutts should know that black lung can be cured with simple bloodletting, not prevented with respirator masks, whatever those are
>Nonetheless, you tried communicating with it
>Of course, this yielded similar results
>At first, it appears that your words did pierce it's sickly veil as its core stirred slightly. But soon it fell deaf to even your loudest cries
>Lastly, you tried simply dispelling it
>While the Dreamscape isn't necessarily your domain, as it is a naturally occurring space with the Noosphere, you are its sole keeper
>Thus, using your profound intellect and mastery of the night... you poked at the anomaly
>The Dreamscape is an ocean of thought, with no consistent form
>As its protector you can freely manipulate the space around you
>As such, you tried twisting the anomaly, crushing it, stretching it, tearing it
>Nothing

>>42911289
>At some point you must of got bored with the ordeal and did something quite unsavory for a princess
>You gave the thing a quick lick out of curiosity
OH! Oooohhh w-what is h-happenIINNGGGG! OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH I-I-I-I'M CUMMING I'M C-CUMMMMIIIIIIIINGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
>Like the most potent aphrodisiac stirred by the most hormonal teen laced with rose petals and oysters, the pink tumour was made up of the rawest lust you'd ever felt in all your millennia
>And that was just a quick sample
>The violent climax you experienced, or rather, are still experiencing forced your astral body back to your physical form lying in your chambers
>Your shrieks of ecstasy had been heard from across the castle walls
>Guards are banging on the doors to your chambers out of concern, but fortunately and debatably unsafely, you always lock the entrance while communing with ponies dreams. You find having unwanted visitors accidentally waking you during your duties to give you terrible migraines
>However, you left the door to your balcony open during this particularly warm night
>Celestia had flown in, no doubt jolted awake from your cries
>"Sister! Are you alright!? What's happening to-"
>Celestia was cut short as another spasm of orgasmic pleasure ruptured through your body
>Feeling yourself reach your peak once again, you let out a violent squirt of love juice out onto the open air, drenching your sheets and your sisters face quite heavily in the process
>Finally, as the last of the tremors fade away, you lie there twitching in a pool of sweat and vaginal juices as your tongue lolls out of your mouth and your eyes are glazed over in a euphoric half-sleep
>Celestia stands there dumbfounded as she stares transfixed at your body, feeling and tasting the hot liquid sprayed all across her face and mouth
...
>Okay, it's time to deal with this anomaly with a bit more care

>>42911294
>Be Anon a few more days later
>Time to take a break and leave your goon cave for the first time in about a week
>You had just finished baiting some Nietzschefag on /lit/ (You've never read any philosophy in your life) and felt now was as good of a time as any to go collect your gibs
>However, before you head out the door you look back at the Hollow Lotus
>While you'd been shitposting over these last few days it seemed to have gotten a little louder
>It's mechanical whirring growing faster, it's doodads blinking more rapidly, and... "Her" occasional moans getting a little more audible
>Now that you've turned off your dimensional scrying orb which had been sucking up more than a little bit of love-electricity, you REALLY notice the increase in power
>It's definitely louder than it was when you first booted it on
>While you're no magical engineer you surmise it's not from the machine failing or any faulty components, but from Fluttershy's own fantasy
>It looks like she's sucking up a bit more of the machines internal power than you thought
>Little pervert can't even be satisfied within her own dreams
>Luckily, there's a little fix that just popped into your head
>You'd been using what was already a fairly costly setup of magic-arrays (Which are expensive to install and not easy to maintain) and Mana-Charged crystals (Which are cheap to buy but you've been going through them fast)
>Why did Anon bother using an experimental changeling roofie machine to power a dimension scrying orb and not the arrangement of arrays and crystals previously mentioned (you) might ask?
>Because magic-to-electricity is somehow less reliable then magic-to-love-to-electricity. You'd blow a fuse and shatter the orb with that kind of setup
>Anyways, the idea. Jerry-rig /some/ of the electrical output from the Hollow Lotus back into itself to keep up with Fluttershy's dreams. You've been having to install magic resistors into your setup anyways because the thing's been generating A LOT of love energy from Fluttershy lately
>This way, you can stop relying on the old system to power the machine which powers your 'puter
>It's like recycling! But Real!
...
There! All set.
>After an hour or so you managed to move a cord here, rewired a thingy there, and presto!
>The Hollow Lotus is now drawing on it's own energy output while simultaneously keeping the power running to your orb. Lord knows Fluttershy is producing more than enough love
Who's a good little battery! You are! Yes you are!
>You say in a mocking baby voice while tapping on the pod's front door
>You walk out
>As you leave, Fluttershy stirs almost as if a small part of her could hear your voice reach her...

>>42911298
>Be Luna
>After the previous... incident, you decided to rethink your approach
>Clearly, this anomaly can't just be destroyed from within the Dreamscape
>So, you began to actually observe and study the thing
>First, as was already verified before, it's growing in both size and... density?
>Second, it is most certainly a dream but one of unnatural proportion and intensity
>You can only surmise that the dreamer is at the center of the thing, locked away inside it's pink, frothing interior
>After experiencing what was just the briefest exposure to its mass, you can only imagine what it's like on the inside...
>Third, the dreamer locked within is no mere pony
>You've dealt with night terrors beyond imagination and pseudo-sentient dream entities before, but you've never encountered a dreamer with such an intense will
>Could it be a lust demon that was summoned directly to the Dreamscape?
>At any rate, containment of the anomaly has been no easy task
>Doing any sort of damage or mitigating it's growth is near impossible as things stand, so you've been trying to isolate it from other dreams
>Just like a tumour, if left unchecked it'll bleed into the psyche's of other ponies and suffocate their thoughts with it's unbearable lust
>So, the only solution at the moment is to try and find it's source in the physical world
>Even if it were a demon, it's astral body should have an anchor point somewhere
>Normally, identifying and locating a dreamer is a simple task. However, it requires you to actually enter the dream
>So... you've set up to do just that
>You've injected high-intensity numbing agents typically reserved for surgery into every muscle fiber of your physical body
>You're wearing a dozen high-grade enchanted amulets that invoke emotions ranging from 'calm' to 'prudish' and even 'disgust' to mitigate it's mental effects
>You've spent the last twelve hours meditating within the Dreamscape to reinforce your astral body
>And you even have a guard situated next to your waking body to spray you with a bottle of water every several minutes
>You bring your astral self right before the tumour, staring at it's coalescing fleshy walls
>After bracing yourself, you push into the viscous, trembling pink mass and press onwards
>Layer 1
>A pink fog fills the space around you, with fibers of red threads sewn in all possible directions
>Through the pink haze, you make out sounds
>Subtle moans of oohs and aahs fill the air
>You press forward with a modicum of force and feel a slight heat
>Luckily, your reinforcements mitigate most of it's effects, but the fact that you feel anything is concerning
>You continue until you come up to what looks like the outer wall of a deeper layer
>Dreams are like onions
>They have layers
>You press into it

>>42911305
>Layer 2
>The colour shifts to a darker pink and the heat in your unmentionable grows more intense
>The sounds of moans become more drawn out and increase in volume
>Moreover, shadows of figures can be made out through the foggy haze
>Multiple instances of the same two engaging in acts of coitus can be seen
>But they never remain for long
>Through the fog, it's hard to determine just what you're seeing
>One of the figures outlines looks like a pony while the other stands much taller with strange proportions
>Every time you draw near they fade away
>The silhouettes take every position and form you can imagine and more
>You try to call out to one, but your response was a cry of pleasure that showed no indication of understanding or even acknowledgment
>After some time, you decide to move in deeper
>Layer 3
>The colour is now a bright red and the heat is unbearable
>Your hind legs buckle as you enter this layer and you can feel what was once a moilesture in your lower lips become a full on leak
>It seems this layer is the last before reaching the core
>The sounds of moans are now full blown screams of ecstasy and cries of pleasure
>You're beginning to understand this anomaly
>It's not just one dream, it's several hundred occurring within one mind
>Each is a distinct wetdream of unheard intensity
>The air is thick and gelatinous and it takes most of your strength to push through
>As you do, the walls of the place writhe and shift around you, squeezing and rubbing you all over
>Vaginal juices freely run down your leg and the guard stationed by your physical body is no doubt inhaling an intense musk
>With his strong body, toned from years of training...
>No! Snap out of it!
>With a final push you force yourself to the core of the anomaly
>A beating cocoon that's... green?
>Weird, you'd think it would be a shade of red just like-
>A figure in the cocoon stirs, an eye opens
>You lean forwards, struggling to see through the thick red haze in the air and the putrid green glow of the cocoon
...Fluttershy?
>Fluttershy screams in rage
>"...ANoN aRe yOu DReAminG AboUT otHEr MAreS ! ? ! ?"
>"Jusssst yOu aNd MEEEeeeEEee foREVeerrrrrrr!!!!"
>A blinding flash of light fills your vision and you're knocked backwards
>The sudden force flings your astral body through all three layers of the anomaly at once back into the open Dreamscape
>This ends up compromising your spell, forcing you to wake up abruptly

>>42911310
...Ngh... ugh... what?
>Bleary eyed, you look around your chambers and see the state of the room
>The thrashing of your body has disheveled your bedding, liquid of questionable origin has splattered on the opposing wall, and the guard stationed by your bed is in the corner of the room sobbing uncontrollably
>Your mouth feels incredibly dry and are lying in a pool of sweat
>The amulets you were wearing are scattered across the floor and it seems you're body literally sweated out and squirted out the numbing chemicals
Guard! (pant) Prepare a carriage to Ponyville at once! (Huff) And get me several jugs of water!
>The guard meekly salutes before fleeing your chambers
>Fluttershy, for some reason, is the origin of the anomaly. And she mentioned Anon's name...
>Well, you'll find out the truth soon enough
>...But maybe a quick bath first

>Be Anon once more
>Having come back from a leisurely walk you decide to get back to it
>After all, while you may take breaks here and there, you're here forever
>When you come to your front door you notice a strange sound
>Through the front door, you can distinctly hear the mechanical whirring of the Hollow Lotus
Ah fuck, is it breaking on me?
>Opening the door, you find the interior of you house illuminated by a strong green
>Looking at the pod, it's definitely brighter and louder than before
>Perhaps letting it power itself off of Fluttershy's own love energy was NOT the best plan
>You touch your scrying orb and see it flicker to life for a moment
>Until it cracks and shut off for good
FUCK! Nonononono!
>Your shouting caused the sleeping Fluttershy to stir
>Your head shoot back to the pod
>For a moment, the lights and sounds of the device grew erratic and unstable
>But now things have settled... until you hear a knock on your front door
Shit! Shit! Shit! Not now! (You say, whisper shouting)
>Opening the front door you see the Princess of the Night
>"Hark! It is I, Princess Luna! Sovereign of the moon and keeper of drea-"
>You quickly cover her muzzle with one hand to get her to stop shouting
>You expected resistance or something but instead she seems to go limp into your hand
>"Ooohhh, yes fair Anonymous... use thou strong grip to..."
>She shakes her head and blushes furiously
>"Ahem! Forgive me, I don't know what came over me"
>You give her a confused look before you look back at the machine from inside
>It still seems fine despite Luna's autistic arrival
>But now you still have two problems
>First, the pod is clearly unstable and liable to blow any moment, possibly killing Fluttershy and destroying your house
>Second, if you're discovered having bought and used said pod you're liable to capital punishment
>Thinking thinking, you can always get a new house
>Deal with Luna first
>Closing the door, you try to get Luna to fuck off

>>42911324
Um, hey Princess! How are things? Little late to be picking up a cup of sugar, ain't it?
>"Anonymous, now is not the time for such jokes, iT's tHe tIMe fOR yoU to PloW mY hiNDqUarTers LiKE nO ToMorrow..."
>Luna shoots a hoof up to her mouth
>"Goodness! Anonymous, forgive such a crude comment! I have no idea why ...yOU'rE nOt TaKINg me RiGht HeRe anD noW WIth youR HoT MonkEY DiCk!"
>Luna, having seemingly lost control of herself, lunges forwards knocking you through the door onto your back
>With her straddling atop of your waist, you see her eyes are bloodshot and she's drooling
>Craning your neck, you see the pod glowing brighter than ever and it's whirring sounds screeches through the air
>Luna pins you down, holding you in place
>You try to struggle, but you're no match for her strength
Luna! We need to go! That things about to blow!
>She either doesn't hear you or doesn't care
>She cranes her body forwards and mashes her lips against yours
>You feel her longue tongue invade your mouth and slither down your throat
>You try to thrash around some more, but to no avail
>Looking over at the pod once more, you catch a glimpse of Fluttershy's cradled body
>Maybe it was because of the sounds of crashing, the rapid meltdown of the machine, or her supernatural rapist senses... she opened her eyes for the briefest time at the exact moment Luna kissed you
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
>The machine explodes, but not in the way you thought
>Instead, a burst of pink smoke explodes outwards from the machine in all directions
>Fluttershy's dream, or dreams rather, had to be constantly fed into the machines database to ensure smooth consistency
>The shock upon seeing your kiss caused her psyche to have a violent breakdown, ending each dream violently
>The result: The machine overcompensated and actually tore a brief hole into the Dreamscape causing the fantasies to violently gush out into the real world
>Of course, dreams can't sustain themselves in reality so they dissipated just as quickly as they entered
>This ended up destroying the machine before it could blow up
>Hacking and coughing, you push off an equally dazed Luna
>As the smoke clears, you see another figure trotting up to you
>It's Fluttershy
>"Oh, Anon. I just had the most wonderful dream~! You were there, and you put your entire fist-"
My house!
>While the smoke dissipated, a dusty residue of pink dreamstuff cakes every inch of your house
>Of course, it has a distinct "Fluttershy" smell to it
>Luna gets up, groggy as ever
>"Where...? Oh, yes. Anonymous are you-"
>She turns her gaze over to the now dysfunctional machine
>Her expression sours
>"So! Thine true actions have come to light! This whorish machine that once sought to defile the dreams of my beloved subjects was the cause of all this! No doubt thou used it for some devious, villainous plot."
>Looking around you see no way of concealing or getting out of this mess, so you simply sigh and fess up

>>42911332
...Yes. I had used it on Fluttershy to power my computer... But in my defense, I had no idea she'd literally tear apart the fabric of dreamspace with her fantasies
>Fluttershy gasps and quickly comes up to you
>"Oh, Anon! Were you worried I don't dream about you? That there'd be another stallion in my heart? Poor thing. That's why you did all this, isn't it? You're the only colt I'll ever love, my sweet prince."
>She begins to stroke your head
>"Poor baby... tell you what, why don't you come to my place and I'll-"
>You pick her up and carry out to the front door
>"(Gasp!), I see you're very eager~. My dream started out just like this y'know- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
>You punt Fluttershy from your front porch and send her flying
>Turning around, you look back at Luna
>"Well, Anonymous. Thou will need to answer for thouests crimes. ...But seeing as Fluttershy is unlikely to press charges and that the inside of thouests house is wrecked, a lighter punishment will suffice
>"Thou will arrive at the castle at dawn tomorrow and help the cleaning staff for the duration of the month. Furthermore, you'll be subject to additional duties
What kind of duties?
"...iT's a SurPRisE.."
>Luna smiles, before flying away
>...
>Your house is wrecked, your stuck on maid duty, your shitposting machine is busted, and you might be subjected to a royal raping
>All because you underestimated Fluttershy's delusions
>Fucking Fluttershy

>>42911338
End.

Shit, meant to add this part to the last post. Anyways, here's my first long green. Upon reflection I realised I could've included more character interaction and had a bit more distinction between Luna and Anon's pov. Also, I had planned on doing a bit more with other ponies being influenced subconsciously by Fluttershy's dream tumour, justifying it's danger to the Dreamscape a bit better. However, I didn't know how to incorporate that well and just sorta scrapped the idea. Also, FUCK the new captcha. Dumping this shit was awful.

>>42911338
Never trust bug technology. It has...bugs.

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>>42911286
>...What the FUCK is this new captcha?

>>42911367
This was a good one anon, I really liked the original so I’m glad to see it expanded on.

>>42911367
>Also, FUCK the new captcha. Dumping this shit was awful.
it's literally just an IQ test

>>42911553
I had to do it like 12 times over, it got tedious real quick

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>>42911600
>>42911606
FILTERED

>>42908350
I hate when this pink horse eats all the goddamn pizza and uses the whole "I'm royalty" excuse. But you don't see me complaining about it, oh no us peasants are just supposed to smile and bear it.

>>42911607
Anon, I could solve it just fine. The problem was I had to solve it for each post which made dumping annoying. Even messing up once means waiting another 20 seconds or so for the captcha to refresh

>>42911653
Well your green was really good

>>42911635
Throw her into a harbor!

>>42911367
Poor Anon’s ass. All he wanted to do was shitpost and use Fluttershy’s degenerative nature for good.

>>42911653
He just has to smugpost because figuring out the captcha is his highest achievement in life and anybody who had to go through a learning curve is automatically a retard by proxy

>42911607
Obviously he wasn't filtered since he was still able to post it dipshit

>>42911338
The “additional duties” are brushing her coat and rubbing her legs.

Well the bug containment unit failed on Fluttershy. How about that mind control stuff Sombra used?

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>>42911635
Cadance deserves all the pizza and she also deserves seeing you get a marefriend (not a chigger)

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>>42912674
Too late.

>>42912674
It would be real interesting if you were Chrysalis this entire time trying to gaslight me into getting a bug.

>>42913137
Would be quite a twist

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Beware the nerd mare.

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>>42913754
I threaten her that if she makes a move I'm gonna molotov her whole entire book collection

>>42913773
Thats been accounted for, Anon. Theres only one way this will end. And its all according to her extensive autistic planning.

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>>42913785

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>>42913797
Indeed.

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>>42913829

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>>42913808
Do I at least get prince power when she succeeds Celestia and Luna or am I just gonna be locked up in the castle basement?

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>>42913837
You'll be given a title and nothing else. No authority, no sway, no pull. Basically you'll be like the first lady.

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>>42913871
Lame.

>>42913785
You guys give up too easily. I'm sure you think your book collection is safe. However, my purple nipple, you have lost your book collection before. I let him out. The ugly centaur. He's going to blow up your home again.

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>>42913917
Good idea

>>42913871
If you complain and whine enough, I'm sure at least Celestia would give you some power. The power to change out every guardstallion with a guardmare is far from reachable, though.

>>42913949
>Golly's switch-to-Trevor moment
"Hey if you're gonna encase a minor in stone again at least let me take a piss first!"
>Chryssy's switch-to-Trevor moment
"YOU WANT A GULLET FULL OF EGGS, ASSHOLE? YOU'RE GOIN' THE RIGHT WAY FOR ONE!"
>Tyrek's switch-to-Trevor moment
"Meth, magic, harmony, AHH SHOOT ME FULL OF FUCKING RAINBOWS ALREADY!!"

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>>42913993
Chrysalis is gonna make you eat all the eggs

>>42913993
Golly had a terrible case of kidney stones.

>>42914001
Oh dear

Hello everyone! It's Tuesday and How to be Dense has updated.
This week it's more fun with the cheerleaders as we revisit a song we've already done!
Wait, why do the cheerleaders have superpowers?

Next Tuesday we have an unhinged rant!
https://ponepaste.org/11423

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>>42913773

>>42915000
Your anger only makes me stronger.

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>>42913785
OP Magical Unicorn rape...

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>>42913808
She really is very clingy...

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>>42915280

Twilight is ugly and her mane is stupid. Anon CLEARLY likes Rarity way more.

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>Page 9

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>>42915324
Rarity does not rape.
Rarity seduces.

>>42915633
THEN she rapes, right?

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>>42915644
She prefers the term "surprise lovemaking"

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>you n Rarity

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>YOU REALLY WANT TO TELL ME NO!?

>>42915948
i thought she was using a cartwheel to fix a sink

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>the real reason Anon had a hard time finding love in horseland

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If theres one thing I love more then telling mares to fuck off, its fugging Chrysalis.

>>42915948
The standing on her tail really shows how much he really doesn't care.

>>42915978
Good.
You won't be missed.

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>>42915994
>"Are you sure about that, Anon?"

>>42916058
She’s already full of holes.

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>>42915994
Damn bugs.

>>42914671
Musicals are not the easiest thing to write in a story.

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>she’s having a hard time figuring out your picket fence

>>42916478
>Musicals are not the easiest thing to write in a story.
That's certainly true, but I had a blast with this song.
I didn't originally plan for this song to be in the story, again.
But I felt I needed some filler songs or else the planned songs could come across as to jarring.
And since I had already done this song "properly" at the beginning of the story, I felt much freer to do comedic character interactions with this version.
And it leads very organically into next week's unhinged rant.
Anonymous had wanted to be a background character when he came to school five days ago, and now he's being told to sing 40' off the ground in front of the school.
He is NOT the happiest of campers.

>>42912203
>He just has to smugpost because figuring out the captcha is his highest achievement in life
wrong, my highest achievement is getting digits while BTFOing OP as a FP
>anybody who had to go through a learning curve is automatically a retard by proxy
we had the new captcha for two weeks already, anyone who still finds it difficult to solve must be genuinely retarded

>>42915736
>"surprise lovemaking"
thank God it's not "consent accidents"

>”Happy New Year, Anon!”
>https://tantabus.ai/images/66703

>>42917054
>Throw snowball.
Direct hit!

Reposting an old favorite:

>It's New Year's Eve in Equestria, and so you've been invited to Twilight Sparkle's party at the Castle of Friendship.
>Well, dragged to her party, more like.
>Princess Twilight Sparkle is still dismayed at your continuing lack of progress in making new friends.
>In fact, she told you to your face that if you didn't come to her party promptly at 9PM, she would personally hunt you down and teleport you to the party herself.
>You hate teleporting.
>Four times out of five, it results in you tossing your cookies.
>So here you are, at a party full of candy-colored ponies.
>Only seven of whom you know personally.
>Eight, if you count Spike.
>Pinkie Pie, naturally, has been prodding you to join into the activities.
>Occasionally dragging you into them by the hand.
>Applejack has made sure you always have at least a half-full cup of cider in your hand.
>Not that cider does much for you anyhow.
>The only reason you're still wearing the garishly decorated party hat that Rarity presented you with is that Twilight gives you a look every time you try to take it off.
>Rainbow Dash was late to the party.
>Yeah, she can be late, but you can't.
>You didn't know Starlight Glimmer very well, and thus far she has awkwardly attempted to strike up a conversation with you three times.
>The conversations never went anywhere because your responses were equally awkward.
>So here you are in the corner watching the party, with a cup half-full of ineffective cider and pockets full of spaghetti.
>The magic hour of midnight is fast approaching, but you don't really feel like joining the pony conga line in progress.
>In spite of Lyra's repeated requests for you to put your hands on her.
>There are just a few stallions here, but they quickly cliqued up in little pools of conversation about stuff you really can't find it in yourself to care about.
>Seriously, the gender balance in this town is way out of whack.
>It's no wonder then that-
>"Oh, h-hey there Anon..."
>Speak of the devil.
"Hello Fluttershy."
>What a surprise.
>She wouldn't try anything on you with all these witnesses around.
>You hope.
>You have so far managed to steer clear of "spin the bottle" and "seven minutes in heaven".
>Even when Pinkie tried to shove you into the closet herself.
>"So... are you enjoying the party Anon?"
>Fluttershy is so shy and quiet that if she hadn't of spoken up, you might have forgotten she was there.
"I'm not really comfortable with big parties full of people- er, ponies I don't know."
>"Oh, I understand. You're the type that prefers intimate little gatherings."
>She looks up at you with a hopeful smile.
>"Like, just for two, maybe?"
>Yeah, the last time she had managed to get you alone had ended with you running away as best as you could with your trousers at half-mast.
>Under that shy and kind exterior, there lurks a wild pony full of desire.
"Depends on the pony."
>You keep your answers non-committal, in the hope that she will get bored and wander off.

>>42917595

>No such luck.
>"So have you... found a pony you like yet?"
"No, not really-"
>You clap a hand over your mouth to shut yourself up, but the widening grin on Fluttershy's face tells you that ship has sailed.
>"Everypony! The countdown has started!!"
>Twilight's enthusiastic announcement is met by a round of cheers from the assembled ponies.
>"Well, if you're not formally dating anyone, maybe you would reconsider my-"
>"HEY there Anon! Making any New Years resolutions?"
>Saved by Rainbow Dash, of all ponies.
"I hadn't really thought about-"
>Rainbow playfully pokes a hoof into your soggy midsection.
>"Maybe you ought resolve to get in better shape, dude!"
>Gee thanks, I needed that.
"I'll think about it."
>"Awesome! The magic hour is almost here, you'd better find a partner to kiss!"
"Wait, what?"
>But it's too late, she has dashed off to another corner of the party.
>True to her name.
"What is she talking about?"
>"It's an old tradition." Fluttershy explains.
>"At the stroke of midnight, every pony shares a kiss with someone they love."
>Suddenly Fluttershy's purpose in seeking you out at this particular time becomes all too clear to you.
>Your brain goes into overdrive as you try to think up a way out of this situation.
>"FIFTEEN!" a number of ponies cry out in unison.
"W-well, that's not what we do where I'm from..."
>You lie like a rug.
>"FOURTEEN!"
>The volume grows as more ponies join the countdown.
>Fluttershy looks at you inquisitively.
>"What do humans do on New Year's Eve?"
>"THIRTEEN!"
"Um, well, we find someone we... think of as a friend, and we..."
>"TWELVE!"
"...boop them on the nose."
>Wow, that was just lame as hell.
>"ELEVEN!"
>"We're friends, aren't we Anon?"
>"TEN!"
"Well, yeah, when you're not trying to..."
>You find yourself unable to complete that thought out loud.
>"NINE!"
"I suppose we are."
>You finish half-heartedly.
>"EIGHT!"
>"You can boop my nose, if you want to..."
>"SEVEN!"
>Well... if it's just a boop, that might be kinda cute.
>"SIX!"
>You find yourself imagining how cute Fluttershy's scrunchy face would look when you boop her.
>"FIVE!"
>Maybe Fluttershy doesn't have any lewd designs on you tonight.
>It would be a welcome relief.
>"FOUR!"
"Alright Fluttershy. Here comes the boop."
>You prepare your booping finger and slowly move it towards her nose.
>"THREE!"
>In her typically cute, timid way, Fluttershy recoils slightly from you, her eyes fixed on your finger.
>"TWO!"
>The sound of the ponies voices reaches a crescendo as the climax of the countdown inexorably approaches.
>"ONE!"

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>>42917596

>With a sudden smile and a gleam in her eye, Fluttershy parts her lips and leans forward, closing her lips over the tip of your finger.
>You stiffen at the contact.
>In more ways that one.
>"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!"
>Balloons and confetti drop from the ceiling as Fluttershy slowly sucks on your finger, leaning further forward until she has taken it in her mouth all the way up to the knuckle.
"FLUTTERSHY! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!!"
>Your protest is drowned out by a sea of cheering ponies, as Fluttershy slowly leans back, gradually releasing your finger from her mouth.
>The tip comes free with a soft pop.
>You're too shocked to move, a state which Fluttershy gleefully takes further advantage of.
>Poking her tongue out of her mouth, she slowly drags the warm, moist, quivering appendage up the length of your your finger and the back of your hand.
>Deciding that enough is enough, you start to pull your finger away.
>But Fluttershy seizes your wrist in both of her fore hooves with a grip kinda like iron.
>If iron didn't work out regularly.
>Fixing her eyes on yours, she starts sucking on your finger again.
"Dammit Fluttershy! I said boop, not oral sex! You made it weird!"
>"Hey Fluttershy! Does Nonny taste good?"
>Of all the times for Pinkie Pie to show up...
>Bouncing over to you with wild abandon, the pink party pony leaps up and wraps her fore hooves around your neck.
>"HAPPY NEW YEAR NONNY!!"
>Pinkie Pie sticks her tongue out and licks your face.
>She takes her own sweet time doing it too, in spite of your attempts to pry her off of you.
"Pinkie Pie! Fluttershy! Let me go!"
>You feel a pony grab your other wrist, and see Lyra gleefully rubbing your hand all over her face.
>"Happy New Year Anonymous!"
>She licks it too.
>Starlight Glimmer emerges from the crowd, rears up and wraps her forelegs around your waist, nuzzling your chest.
>"Happy New Year Anon!"
>It's as though someone threw a switch.
>More and more ponies converge on your position, adding to a growing cuddle pile.
>Almost all of them mares.
>Fluttershy has, of course, claimed the prime spot atop your crotch, which is beginning to feel very damp.
>Dammit, Twilight Sparkle planned this!
>You cry out for help as you slowly sink beneath a sea of equine, feminine expressions of affection.
>And it was all started by...
>Fucking Fluttershy.

>>42917598
Oh hey, good to see you

>>42917598
Anon knew he should of had an exit plan.

>>42917952
>https://youtu.be/8YJUZ0XYkn0

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Happy New Year, Flutterrape.

>>42917595
>with a cup half-full
at least anon is positive

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>>42917598
Climax inside the bug as the ball drops.

what is flutterrape?

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>>42918532
>It doesn't matter if you say no, Anon. You have a boner! That means you like it!

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Lyra wants only one thing from (You)...

>>42918548
A hairy horn? Weird.

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>>42918548
>That AIGen

>>42918548
I say we nuke this poster from orbit.
It's the only way.

>>42917595
>>42917596
>>42917598
>Twilight Sparkle threatens you with teleportation if you don't voluntarily step into the obvious trap she's laid for you
Absolutely diabolical

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>>42919010
This is the face of a mare that has succeeded in ruining a budding relationship

Happy new year

>>42919010
She needs to see you for it to work. Get out of town.

page 10!

How many of you woke up with a strange mare this morning?

>>42920394
I did not

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>>42920394
Yeah. woke up next to this thing. My body is really sore...

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>"But baby, don't you remember last night?"
>"The piano?"
>"Under the piano?"

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>>42921142

>>42921142
Why don't you go practice first. Like one of your friends. How about Rainbow Dash? I'm sure she would resist you.

>>42920578
The piano I dropped on you?

>>42921574
I think Nebulus did a funny one with her, in his FR shorts collections

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>>42921574
Sorry, Stacy, the femcel gets the boy

>>42921574
>>42921682
Found it!
>Marble Pie is a virtuous mare
https://ponepaste.org/7293#66

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>>42921777
Checked and kek'd

>>42921777
That alone really makes me want more Marble

>>42921873
She’s cute

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page 9.

>>42922463
This board is going crazy fast. Already at 9 again. Probably the work of that hairy chaos noodle.

>rgre dead overnight again
honestly just do it Fluttershy, I can't get any more raped than I already am

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>>42922921
Fluttershy's asleep. But Marble is here.

>>42922943
Marble can go lay with her little statues.

>>42922473
Overnight sliding is some shit

>9

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>You hear a very faint knock on the door.
"Well, time to suck today's dick."
>Upon opening, you're greeted not by a yellow whisperer, but a grey one.
"Uhhh..."
>"Uhm h-hi."
>She lowers her head and hides behind her mane.
"Hey. What do you want?"
>Nope, not trusting any of these horses.
>She looks at the ground.
>Her legs shake.
>She glances up and her face goes beat red as she tries to stutter a response.
"Spit it out."
>"Ah!"
>She yelps.
>"I-I was just wondering d-do you..."
>Her voice trails and she mutters the rest of the sentence.
"Jesus, you're worse then Fluttershy."
>You roll your eyes.
"What the FUCK do you want?"
>She sink down to the ground, quivering and covering her head.
>You tilt your head.
>Huh, shes really scared to death right now.
>Oh well.
"Yeah whatever, go away."
>She looks up at you with shock and defeat.
>Tears well up as she slowly gets up.
>God damnit.
>Why do these horses also have to be cute?
>You sigh heavily and speak with a more warm tone.
"Hey."
>She pauses and looks back, a single tear streaming down her cheek.
"I'm..."
>You lightly shake your head.
"Sorry, alright? What is it you want?"
>She wipes away the tears and takes a note from her mane and hands it to you.
>You unfold it.
>It reads; "Will you be my coltfriend?"
>You lets your hands slap your sides.
"No."
>She sighs, defeated, and walks away.
"Friggin horses."

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>>42924007
>"No"

>>42924036
Correct, deal with it.

>>42924007
That afternoon, this Anon received a visit from Pinkie Pie and Limestone Pie and a pair of brickbats.

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>fluttershred tears up your bed

>Wait, who's this horse?
>At your door is a grey mousy pony.
>Mumbles you think her name is.
>Oh there's Pinkie.
>"There you are, my sister has been politely waiting for you to answer the door."
"Did she knock?"
>"About an hour ago."
"Well I didn't hear it."
>Step over the weirdo and head to town.
>Before you can even escape your front lawn Pinkie Pie steps in front of you.
>"Hey. At least answer her. No need to be rudey moody."
>Not a clue what she's yapping on about.
"If there was a question, I didn't hear it."
>Pinkie forcefully flips you around and pushes you up to the house.
>Heels dig in as you are dragged along.
"Look Mumbles is clearly not into this."
>"Marble."
"She doesn't look like a Marble. Maybe a Limestone."
>"That's my other sister."
"Maud?"
>"No, that's a different sister."
"I thought you only had two sisters."
>"She got the Shining Armor treatment."
"Still she doesn't look pure white."
>"Anon."
>Pinkie frowns at your idiocy.
>"Not all marble look white."
"They should be."
>Marble starts to cry.
>Then she runs.
>Pinkie slips trying to grab her sister.
>"No, Marble. He's just being difficult. Get back here. Do you want to be alone with Limestone forever? Forever!? Forever!!!"
"She even cries silently. I think Fluttershy would bully her."
>"I would. Only you belong to me."
>Fucking Fluttershy.

>8

>>42925078

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>>42924768
Fluttershy needs to stop being mean

>>42925546
She didn’t even talk to her.

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It's always the shy ones you really have to watch out for.
You can never be sure what carnal desires are suppressed behind that demure exterior.

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>you turn fluttershys into a yandere
>anon, why do you keep going out with pinkie pie?
Well we're friends, and friends stick together.
> w-what about me? Are we not friends? Am I use l-less to you anon?
I'm speechless. I glance down at the opening of fluttershys cottage, there's a popped balloon there. Just lying.
I don't know why but my stomach starts to churn.
>answer me anon!
Fluttershy pushes me too the ground, I see the faintglint of something pointed and metal tucked underneath her wing.
>I've.. I've always craved for m-more anon.. I'm so so sorry.. These rabbits are sweet but their little pink noses are too fragile for me to g-grind on..
>please forgive me anon.
Now fluttershys mounted me, I freeze, I can't move, I don't enjoy this but my whole bodies gone limp.
>anon... If you need s-something to focus on, t-then look.
Fluttershy raises her hoof to my face, tilts it to show me better, and I see a carving of my name in red, dried blood chipping on the soft fur besides it.
>I l-love you so much a-anon. I- can't believe i-i lived this long wi-
>cue loud crash, surrounding trees shake and there's a dark silhouette that tossed and turned.
>only then did it kick in fluttershys stupid cum brain that you two were still outside for everyone to see. Especially for her friends.
>i-im so sorry anon! I-i can't do this!
>she runs inside her cottage, sobbing profusely, and slammed the doors shut, closing the blinds in sync.
>she's probably gonna fuck pinkie pies corpse next.

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I love having unprotected, scrupulous, and above all, loving sex with Chrysalis. Her bug-mare pussy is like heaven around my cock each time I fuck her. Shes amazing. Shes so hot. I love her sexy voice, and I especially love fucking her in Cadance's bed when shes out on royal duties.

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>>42926187
>>42926414
pink pony princess bait

>>42926464
Doesn't go well if my shade of green. Later nerds.

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>"Hello, Mr. Anonymous."
>"I am the regional tube steak inspector."
>"I'm informed that you have a tube steak that requires inspection and certification."
>"I need to check it for cleanliness, originality, hygiene, and proper fitment."
>"Please present your tube steak for inspection."

>>42926812
Oh. okay, sure thing officer I- WAIT A MINUTE!!

>>42926812
Sure thing officer. I have it out back in a safe location. I'll go get it. Stay right there.

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>>42926812
Is it too uncooked?

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>TFW pg1

>>42927278
Appreciate the save

>Be Anon.
>Not get bothered today.
>Pretty good.
>"Can you pay me now?"
"Sure thing Brick House. You are the best idea I've ever had."
>"Being a bouncer for no pony?"
"No pony showed up because you were at my front door. Fluttershy is scared of interacting with other ponies."
>"And the accessories?"
"Fake tattoos, scars, and jewelry sells it."
>"That's all it takes?"
"She's very shallow. Here's your bag of oats."
>"Sweet. See you Monday boss."
>Love a plan that comes together.

>>42927511
Now this is more like it

>>42927278
What’s he got to be so happy about

>>42927511
>Be Anon.
>Holding Brick House like a bride in your arms.
>He's shaking like a leaf.
"What, oof, the fuck, Brick!?"
>He stutters as he points towards the door.
>"B-b-b-bear!"
>Got to be kidding me.
>Drop him like a sack of unwanted children.
>Open the door, and you see a brown bear.
"The bear. You're scared of Harry?"
>Brick his chattering his hooves too his teeth at the sight of him.
"Don't be stupid, this guy wouldn't hurt--."
>It was at that moment the bear roared mightily.
>The house shook from the impressive display.
>Brick House screamed like a filly and vanished in a puff of logic.
"Wait! No get back here."
>Push back Harry as you run on to your lawn.
>Watch as your brilliant plan runs off towards town.
>A full length hoof written resignation letter drifts from the sky into your hands.
"Damn it. Harry what was that about!?"
>Smug bear shrugs deviously.
>"Is he gone? Good job Harry."
"Fluttershy, you whorse, I was employing him to keep you out."
>"And I employed Harry to bounce your bouncer. Here's your payment."
>Harry accepts a bag of bits.
>"I hope you lose all your hair, Harry."
>"Now then, I have a sizeable list of fetishes we need to catch up on."
>Fucking Fluttershy.

>>42927880
Thwarting ponies is always a happy thing.

>>42928068
This is why she’s so difficult to be rid of. She has resources she puts to good use.

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>Wake up.
>Triple S.
>You know the drill.
>Its time for some badass Celesti-O's.
>The BEST cereal ever made.
>You chomp away at the delicious, nutrient filled Os of sweetness and trace a p[ath through the maze on the back of the box.
>*Knock knock knock*
"C'mon, FUCK!"
>You were so close before that just happened.
>Frustrated, you slam the spoon down on the table and get up to answer the door.
>Upon opening, its Trixie.
>She looks up at you with a smug grin.
"Ugh, the fuck do you want?"
>"Trixie knows what you did."
>You sigh and cross your arms.
"Do tell."
>Shes so full of shit.
>"Trixie knows all about your little tryst with..."
>Trixie pauses, glancing side to side, searching all around as if who she was about to name would leap out of the grass.
>"Queen Chrysalis."
>Your heart skips a beat and your normal stoic demeanor falters for a moment.
>Trixie looks at you smug and triumphant.
"Oh yeah?" You clear your throat, "What evidence do you have?"
"Oh please, Anonymous, Trixie saw her leaving your home only a few days ago. Did you forget I park my wagon in your backyard every night so that Trrrixie can sneak into your home and sniff you in your sleep?"
"You do WHAT?!"
>"Don't change the subject! You know laying with a changeling is highly illegal~."
"Oh no. Pony jail."
>You mockingly wave your hands.
"Ooooooo~."
>"Indeed. And if you want to stay free-"
"If you call this shit freedom..."
>"You'll be Trixie's new stage assistant. And backstage assistant."
>You sigh.
>"Also Trixie's personal and /very/ intimate lover~."
"There it is. Yeah fuck o ff I'll take my chances."
>You slam the door.
>Not like the ponice will believe her anyway.
>Until then, you'll go back to eating cereal and thinking of Chrysalis's immaculate bug-horse pussy...

>>42928400
>slamming the door in her face
>not turning the hose on her first
Be better, Anon.

>>42928400
Anon’s gonna get fucked

>>42928400
Introduced her cart to a woodchipper. Also, don’t fudge roaches. That’s gross.

>>42928400
Good try

>42928864
Your mother must be proud.

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>>42928400
That cereal get you like
>picrelated

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>>42928909
>Middle of the night.
>Feel a light nudge on your shoulder.
"Mnngrrrr..."
>"Oh for the love of the sun..."
>Another poke. And another. Another.
"Huh, whuh? Nyeh?"
>You awaken in a heavy daze.
>Barely able to make out shapes.
>You look over to your side.
>Beside the bed, a white horsey figure with a flowing mane sits next to you with a pillow in her mouth.
>"Anonymous?"
>You shake your head.
>The image comes into clarity.
"Princess Celestia?"
>She gets all giddy at the mention of her name.
>"Good evening, Anonymous!"
"What?"
>"Oh, of course. May I sleep in your bed tonight?"
"...What?"
>"Please?"
>You shake your head.
"Why?"
>"Its storming in Canterlot right now... thunder scares me."
"Didn't you conquer the world and rule for a thousand years?"
>She smiles and nods.
"Yet you're afraid of thunder?"
>She nods again.
>You sigh and let your head sink back into the pillow.
"No, Princess. Go home."
>She climbs onto the bed and lays on top of you.
"Hng!"
>"Please, Anonymous!"
"Get me a restraining order against Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity."
>"I can't do that, they're national heroes!"
"Tought so. Go home."
>"...I'll give you a week supply of free Celesti-Os."

>>
>You awaken with Celestia's wings wrapped around you, and her hooves resting on your chest.
>This isn't ideal, but at least you get more of those sweet crunchy bites of paradise.
>And even better, you're not waking up next to Fluttershy.

>>42928996
It's not that bad an arrangement, so long as she doesn't get hoofsy.
And it would serve to keep the other mares away.
Probably.

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>>42929060
>Its been just about a week.
>Celestia had been practically living with you since that night where you let her sleep in your room.
>You wake up, there you are, wrapped up in her legs and wings.
>Go to bed?
>Shes nuzzling up close.
>Breakfast?
>She sits at the table with you, eating her meal while staring at you.
>This would be much more annoying if not for the perks of having the head monarch of all the land with you all the time.
>Free shit at the market, mares no longer trying to grope you, hell; even Fluttershy has calmed down a lot.
>Unfortunately, the time is coming to an end...
>There at the breakfast table, you pour out the last bowl of Celesti-Os from the week supply Celestia had arranged for you.
>"So, today I was thinking we can take a morning walk through the park. The trees look so lovely this time of year in the mornings."
"By the way, I wanted to ask, whos been raising the sun since you started staying here?"
>She froze.
>"Uh-I have! Yup, I just get up, raise it, and get back in bed and wait for you to wake up! Ahahaha!"
>She looks away, sweat forming on her brow.
"Oh, makes sense."
>She wipes her forehead with her wing and goes on about the plan of the day.
>"Anyway, I can also use a good brushing of my coat, would you care to help me with that, Anonymous?"
"Didn't we just do that two days ago?"
>"Well, a princess must look her best, don't you think?"
>She giggles.
"No."
>She tilts her head.
>"No? You like me looking a little... disheveled~, hm?"
>She flutters her eyes.
"No, I meant no, as in; no I'm not gonna brush your coat, or spend anymore time with you after breakfast today."
>She looked as though you just took away her cake.
>"W-what do you mean? You don't like spending time together?"
"Honestly its alright, I guess. I could take it or leave it. But, more importantly this is the last box of that week supply, so, y'know."
>You go back to eating as the kitchen screams in silence.
>The only sound being the light clink of the spoon on the bowl, and the crunch in your mouth.
>"I-I can get you more!"
>You pause.
>"I'll get you a lifetime, no! An unlimited supply! In fact, you can come live with me from now on! At the castle! You'll have a bowl of Celesti-Os served to you in a golden bowl every morning by a professional chef!"
"Since when does it take a professional chef to pour milk and cereal?"
>"Anonymous!"

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>>42929267
"Princess, calm down. We had a good little run, alright?"
>"But I don't want it to be just 'a good little run'! I want it to blossom into a loving relationship!"
>You let out a quiet sigh and take another bite.
>God this is good shit.
>"Anon!"
"I've given my answer."
>"B-but!"
>Celestia looks as thought shes going to have a panic attack.
>And then, just as quickly as it started, she returns to normal.
>"Well then, I suppose I'll have to withhold the /new/ flavor for Celesti-Os thats supposed to release next year."
>You freeze.
"What?"
>She sighs.
>"Such a shame. I figured since you enjoyed them so much I could give you first access and even alter the flavor based on your feedback."
"What do you-"
>"Too bad, I suppose you'll just have to wait till next year like everypony else."
"Whoa, WHOA wait a second here!"
>She narrows her eyes and smirks.
>"Hm? Whats wrong, Anonymous? You gave me your answer, did you not?"
"I didn't kno-"
>She gets up from the table and her horn begins to glow.
>"I'll just be teleporting back to Canterlot now."
"HOLD ZE FUCKING FROG LEGS!"
>Not sure why you suddenly became french.
>She looks at you half lidded, slightly tilting her head.
>"Whats wrong, Anonymous?"
"You didn't say there was a new flavor! And you'd be giving it to me FOR FREE for a whole year??"
>"Of course. My name is on the box, after all~."
>There was all out war raging in your mind.
>Can you trust her?
>How do you know this isn't some plot to get you to move in with her just so she can rape you??
>Wait, why are you asking this internally?!
"How do I know this isn't just some sinister plot to get me to move in so you can rape me or something?"
>"Anonymous, I've been sleeping in the same bed as you for a whole week. If thats what I wanted, I could've done it the first night."
"Okay, fair enough. But what about your sister, huh?"
>"Oh please, shes so inept when it comes to stallions."
"The guardmares?"
>"I'll have strictly only stallions assigned to any part of the castle where you'll be."
>You gulp.
>Why are you even THINKING of this?
>This is crazy!
>A draft lightly blows through the kitchen, knocking the /empty/ box of Celesti-Os over.
>Only crumbs fell out...
"Its a deal."
>She lets out a throaty giggle.
>"I'll make sure you won't regret this~."

>>42928996
Wait a damn moment, pegasi control the weather. She can control the weather! She’s lying!

>>42929368
Well yeah she definitely has ulterior motives

>>42929273
Now write about them getting married

>>42929411
Candy, that's bug horse. Celestia isn't afraid of the weather.

>>42929439
nuh uh shut up that's the real Celestia haha I love pizza

>Be Anon, surrounded by changelings on all sides.
>They're all still pretending to be ponies still.
"You're all really desperate for me to buy your disguises."
>"Apples apples. I don't know what you mean partner."
>I like cute animals. Like bugs. Yeah Anon. What are you on about?"
"Y'all should be embarrassed how bad you're at this."
>"Love pizzer and white ponies. Anon, stop being so ignorant. Just kiss a mare."
"I wouldn't do that even if you were the real Candy."
>All of Ponyville is like this, and you hate it.

>7
Board pretty quick for a Sunday.

>>42929273
Anon didn’t even ask what the new flavor was. Could’ve been grass flavored for all he knew.

>>42928996
>>42929267
>>42929273
>So easily manipulated he's cooperating for some shitty breakfast cereal that probably has way too much sugar anyway
This Anon is going to regret this. And he deserves it.

>>42930241
He's already slept with her, clearly too far gone.

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>he doesn't have a marefriend

>>42930962
What’s that?

>>42931184
fillyfriend, but older

8’s a bad spot

>>42931815

>>42931545
Those don’t exist. You can’t be friends with mares.

>>42932488
Well, you can, but you just have to remember that sooner or later she is going to try to get into your pants.
Be firm in your resolve, Anon!

>>42932540
Naw, I don’t feel like being friends with mares. Too much of a hassle. Just going to sit on my porch in my Sunday’s best, drink some apple juice, read a good book on this Daring Do thing, and have a delicious pie on the table as I read. A nice simple day.

Greetings all! Was this green ever finished or archived on some bin? I've been unable to find further mentions on desuarchive, but it might be because I suck at searching. Thanks in advance!
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40227489/#40245450

>>42932812
https://ponepaste.org/user/CrookedIronsights
I don't see the story.

>>42930962
mind your business

Yellow pegasus feathers scattered around your house.

Hello everyone! It's Tuesday and so another installment of How to be Dense has been delivered!
Gonna try something different this week and give a partial sample of the promised unhinged rant.

>I mimed opening a pamphlet and said "Warning! Possible side effects of attending CHS could include talking to pretty girls, musical theater, subject and predicate, getting your butt grabbed, understanding that girls have breasts, elimination of personal boundaries, food better than you've ever seen pictured, dubious maintenance closets, discovering that masturbation is a revocable privilege, learning obscure Norse mythology, pavlovian training, attempts to eliminate many forms of modesty with extreme prejudice, nicknaming, superpowered fights in the hallways, and death."

Next week Anonymous is forced to wear penalty shorts!

>>42933404
Forgot link.
https://ponepaste.org/11423

>>42932976
thank you! Seems the story is Reformed but Unrequited, but it is said "to be updated later" on the Fluterrape thread. It's been about two and a third years, so we can safely assume it's not getting finished.
Once again, many thanks for pointing me to the writer, I'll binge his stories when I have time.

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I want her to rape me like this
https://e621.net/posts/4299961

>>42933570
Jesus…

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>>42933584
that's what I said

>>42933570
Yep, your partner would have to be pretty noodly to make that position work.

>>42933692
>gay
this nigga is blind.

>>42933599
None of them are submissive. All freaks.

>>42933752
It’s super gay.

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>>42934104
TIL that penor->vagoo is gay.

>>42934233
It was bound to happen eventually

What do all these talking technicolor donkeys even want with me anyways?

>>42934952
They're insane.

>>42933407
I dunno. At this point I don’t see rape happening. He probably will just go along with it now.

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>>42929273
>A few days later.
>You're sitting in the dining area of Canterlot castle.
>The very same place Celestia herself said you'd be living.
>You sit at the edge of the table, adjacent to the end where Luna lumbers to and sits.
>She lets out a heavy sigh.
>"Late nights are becoming our most despised thing..."
"Tell me about it. Took me forever to fall asleep."
>Luna's ears perk up.
>"That voice..."
"I mean, my bed back in Ponyville wasn't trash or anything but, going from that to what they have here? Ohh boy."
>Luna stares at you, wide eyed.
"And don't even get me started on the decor. So... royal."
>"Anonymous??"
"Okay, rude. Don't interrupt."
>Luna leaps over the table and huge you tightly, nuzzling your chest.
"Hey, HEY!"
>"We knew you'd come around and accept our feelings!"
"I never accepted anything! ... Save for a deal for free cereal."
>She pauses her forceful cuddles and looks up at you, looking confused.
>"W-what? Cereal?"
>Just as she says that, a chef comes from the kitchen area.
>He held aloft a silver platter with a single bowel, a silver spoon, and a box of the almighty breakfast cereal.
>Luna remains in your lap, sitting like a dog as the platter comes to you, is set down, and the chef pours a bowl.
>"A-Anonymous? Why are you eating that?"
>You navigate your hands around Luna, grab a spoonful of the sacred sugary flavor bombs and navigate back around and take a bite.
"Mmmm..."
>"Anonymous!"
>Luna swats the spoon away.
"Yo, what the fuck!?"
>"Anonymous! Stop consuming this breakfast treat at once!"
"Excuse you??"
>"Anonymous..."
>Luna rests her weary frame against yours.
"..."
>"Why are you eating our sister's cereal when you could be eating my own?"
>The dining halls went silent.
>Moments pass.
>Day turns to night, night to day, summer to winter, winter to summer.
>You breath deep.
"You're referring to your vagina aren't you?"
>"Mhm!"
>She nods and smiles like a dork.
"Ugh."

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>>42935222
>You get up, causing her to slide off your lap and onto the floor.
>You grab your spoon off the floor and return to eating.
>"No! Anonymous!"
>Luna exclaims.
"Oh god, what now??"
>"You shouldn't eat after that utensil was on the floor!"
"Aw stop my immune system is great."
>Luna watches, nervous as she sees the spoon go from the bowl, to your mouth.

>>
>You lay in bed, sick as a dog.
>At your bedside, Celestia sits as a doctor checks your chest with a stethoscope.
>Giving the most concerned look, as if she was a mom watching her retarded son die of the sniffles.
>"Oh, Anonymous! I invited you here, and you got sick! I'm such an awful princess!"
>The doctor casually takes his tools and begins putting them away.
"Oh princess, hes just a little under the weather. Some extra sleep and-"
>"WE KNEW IT!"
>Luna comes barging in.
"Oh fucking god damnit why?"
>"Luna? Ugh, go away!"
>"We shall not vacate this area of rest and personal space, sister! Especially whe it belongs to our fare human, Anonymous!"
>"Luna, go to sleep! Don't you have a job to be resting for?"
>"Neigh! Anonymous is sick because of you bringing him to the mountains without properly letting his weak human frame acclimate! Hes a fragile sexy human, sister!"
"Ughhh what the fuck!?"
>"Oh please, Luna! As if you know anything about him!"
>The doc looks at you and mouths "good luck" before walking out.
"W-wait, doc! Wait! Give me some crazy good pain killers or something! C'mon DON'T LEAVE ME SOBER!"
>"See, Celestia! He needs painkillers?? Hes in pain!"
>"Its just a cold, Luna! All he needs is rest and proper love and care from his... well, me!"
>"Neigh!! WE shall provide him care and affection so he can recover!"
"Ughh why!? WHYYYYY???"

>>42935225
Anon done goofed. He allowed himself to be bought by cereal, and now lives with them.

>>42935225
ngl, I thought you'd go in a different direction and have the cereal be enchanted to make him more susceptible to Celestia and her advances. But good green though

>>42935225
It could be worse I guess, it could be Eris’s cereal.

>>42935391
The new flavor forces Anon to get an extremely painful erection that lasts for hours unless he bangs Celestia with it

>>42915969
I actually wouldn't tell Twilight no. I'd grab her by her juicy round purple ass and start humping her like a crazed animal until I emptied inside of her.

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>>42935638
Well? Here she is.

>>42935677
That's not Twilight Sparkle, that's an impostor.

>>42932194

>>42933570
Oh wow

>>42935677
Couldn’t even bother to put on a fake cutie mark.

>>42935905

>>42933404
holy gem
I feel like an ESL reading this, despite growing up and living in Great Britain.

>>42936795
>>42936795
"

>Apple Bloom added "So this is the 'King of the freshmen' that gifted his upperclassmen with six new toys eh?"
I responded with "Setting aside the rest of that statement for the sake of the fourth amendment, what do you mean 'King of the freshmen'?"

"

IDGI can you explain what she is referring to, I'm not American and the fourth amendment seems to be about stop and search?

>>42936875
4th Amendment guarantees American Citizens the right to be secure in their persons, effects, and papers, and prohibits search and seizure without a warrant issued by a court of law.

>>42936928
Thanks but I still don't get what bloom is referring to by six toys. Do I just have L reading comprehension? I used to mog

(You) got MILF'd!
>https://derpibooru.org/images/3230549

>>42937042
The darkest days are still ahead…

>>42933407
>I'm Fourteen
?!

>>42936531

>>42935002
>I dunno. At this point I don’t see rape happening. He probably will just go along with it now.
There will be a legit rape attempt. It won't go the way anyone would expect.
>>42936875
>>42936928
>>42936952
I can admit this one was very indirect. Aaand I just found out I quoted the wrong amendment! I meant the eighth which guards against cruel and unusual punishment!
(Thank you for helping me catch that! I will edit it shortly!)
Next a reasonable person would still likely ask what the hell am I referring to so I'll walk you through it.
On Anon's first day, before he even gets to class, he notices a maintenance closet with the sign crossed out and another sign posted below it saying "Rape Cafe #1. Boys welcome! Many positions available!"
Wednesday Anon is attacked. He takes down his attacker and then assists in taking down five more.
1 + 5
The police are never notified because they never interview Anon.
Anon also notices on Wednesday that CHS has far fewer boys than it should.
Later on that day we meet the cheerleaders and discover their lover Billy is dead.
From Thursday morning on there is a line outside that maintenance closet.

There are some darker undertones in this story. :)

>>42937372
>a line outside that maintenance closet.
A line of girls?

Also I think there was an error on exactly line 300 which it said to instead of too, just checked yep it was exactly line 300.

>>42937372
What I found strange was the boy on boy violence. Like you'd think with how few there are they would stick together to survive.

>>42937394
Yes. A line of girls.

The result I get for line 300 is
>Rainbow said "It must have been something to big for him to laugh or shrug off. Nothing any of us have experienced since we didn't shut down."

And that doesn't seem to track with what you are saying. Would it be possible to give the line intended here please? I'm very happy to have ANY readers and want to address concerns.

>>42937476
Yeah that WAS strange wasn't it? This one will be answered in the third act.

>>42937515
>something to big for him

>>42937515
btw I'm a new lurker, do you have a schedule for updates or should I just keep lurking and wait for you to post an update

>>42937542
I’m pretty sure it’s each tuesday

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>>42937542
>I'm a new lurker
Fresh meat...

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>>42937590
No! Bad pony! Leave the newfag alone!

>>42937542
Taking a moment to savor and enjoy this question. :)
Yes, I DO in fact have a schedule.
I post on Tuesday and I will further refine this to California time.
This story is first posted in the Fingerbang thread here in /mlp/ .
I started advertising here both because Flutterrape was the first thread to interest me on this board and because many of the antics seemed flutterrape-adjacent.
The reason I savored this question is because I took the name of Tuesday when selecting an author name due to my own personal autism. It's just dryly functional and that appeals to me.
(For comparison, the person that inspired me to start writing has the pen name Cosmic Butthole. Which is fine for them but seemed a bit to fancy for my own self. That said, check out their stuff!)
For this story, I'm managing to stay ahead on my writing so readers can get a nice cliffhanger ending with each installment.

>>42937540
Ok I had to look this up to double check. Now that I have, I can see that you are right! Edit will happen shortly.

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>>42937610
Too late

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>>42937646
HAH! Thats what he gets for saying he was new.

>>42937683
You're old.

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>>42937882
Better then being raped.

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>I make all this effort to look nice for you.
>And you can't even spare a few moments to watch the moon with me.
>Fine.
>Go away.
>I'm okay.
>Just don't stray too far....

>>42937895
Applejack's favorite victim everyone.

Actually I think I'll fuck Twilight and Marble both just to piss off Fluttershy, and maybe the princesses too just for good measure.

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>>42938336
>I'll get out of having sex with horses
>by having sex with other horses!

>>42938360
Better than fucking Fluttershy

>>42938336
I don’t think that’ll work out how you’re expecting it to