>Scootaloo carried on saying "Yeah. Just stop and let them come to you and take your shorts off real slow so they can enjoy it."
>Sweetie Belle said "I bet that would make them happy."
>Apple Bloom added "Oh I'm sure it would!"
I was nonplussed as I asked "And what about the exercise we're supposed to be getting?"
>Scootaloo put her hand on her cheek and said "Oh gosh, that's a good question!"
>Sweetie Belle added "And we wouldn't want Anonymous running around half naked out here either."
>Apple Bloom declared "Oh man, that would be embarrassing!"
>Scootaloo then proclaimed "Oh I know! We could let them into the van!"
>Sweetie Belle informed "With a happy girl on either side of him!"
>Apple Bloom added "With a blanket covering them so they don't get embarrassed!"
I was getting a little heated and looking for an escape, so I said "T-that still doesn't help with exercise."
>Scootaloo was completely undeterred as she said "Oh exercise happens pretty naturally from there. First the girls slip off your underwear and hand it over to us..."
>Sweetie Belle continued with "And we hang them on the rearview mirror."
>Apple Bloom went on with "So they don't get lost."
>Scootaloo then proclaimed "Then the girls take turns on you!"
>Sweetie Belle informed "Which is a GREAT workout!"
>Apple Bloom then offered "And a LOT of fun too!"
"I-I-I-I.." I stammered.
>The cheerleaders were leaning with big smile in anticipation of me giving in.
I calmly deadpanned "I don't think so."
>In unison the three of them said "What?"
"I told you 'no'" I stated.
>At this point my Queen, senpai, Rainbow, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie all burst out laughing HARD!
>Even Fluttershy was hiding a smile behind a hand.
After around 30 seconds of continuous laughing with no end in sight, I raised an eyebrow and asked my Queen "Some context please?"
>The girls slowly got the laughing under control and my Queen responded "Basically they've been talking smack to us all week about how we MUST be doing something wrong because

>>42915277
>The girls slowly got the laughing under control and my Queen responded "Basically they've been talking smack to us all week about how we MUST be doing something wrong because they got Billy on the first day."
>Rainbow then added "And you just shut them down SO hard!"
"Well I'm not inclined to say anything bad about Billy, but it seems fair to note that we are different people. But I'm sorry you girls had to put up with that over me. May I offer hugs with manners as consolation?" As I got up and got it up.
>The girls eagerly took their turns hugging me until Sweetie Belle pointed at my crotch and exclaimed "What is THAT!?"
"Say Rarity?" I asked
>Rarity brightly answered "Yes darling?" as she approached me.
"I'm worried I might be a little to sarcastic just now." I admitted "Could I please ask you to answer your sister's question?"
>Rarity lustfully declared "Oh with PLEASURE darling!" And then she hugged me from my left side, wrapped her left leg around my left leg, her heated crotch pressed firmly into my leg just below my hip. Her left hand went to my chest with her fingers fully splayed out and her right hand on the far side of my head.
>I put my left hand on the small of her back.
>Rarity ANNOUNCED "My dear sister. THAT is his COCK! And we've told him it's good manners to keep it up around us!"
"Thank you Rarity." I said. "I figured since you ladies were angling to become my Sisters-in-law that you'd likely see it at some point anyway. So no need to hide it."
"Also family approval helps towards a 'yes' answer too."
>The girls all smiled at that.
>Apple Bloom then had a flash of insight and asked "Well Brother, is there anything else WE can do to help get you to a 'yes' answer?"
"Why I'm so glad you asked Sister." I said. "As it happens there are quite a few questions I have that your younger counterparts seem forbidden from answering."
>Apple Bloom warily countered "We're under the same restrictions."
"Of course you are." I said with a smile. "That was an easy guess. But you see, when the girls are forced to refuse to answer they feel bad about it. And then I feel bad about making THEM feel bad."
Then my smile got darker as I said "But I don't think I'll have the same issues with you three. Additionally you also already have experience with the entire process! So I KNOW you have what I want."

>>42915279
>Apple Bloom said "I'm sorry, but that will have to wait for another time. We came to collect you for something else at the front of the school. Rarity I'm sorry, but could we have him briefly please?"
>Rarity quietly pouted as she disentangled herself from me and backed away
>Wait, ALL of my girls were backing away!
>Something was up and they knew what it was!
>Oh well, they wouldn't let even the cheerleaders hurt me so I remained calm.
>Apple Bloom came up to me and said "Anonymous, for reasons related to school morale we need to stress test you now."
>And then she scooped me up in her arms effortlessly and held me in front of her.
And I calmly said "Well I knew you had super strength. I will admit I don't know what powers the other two have though."
>Annoyance quickly flashed on Apple Bloom's face. Then she smirked as she said "You're gonna find out."
>Then she THREW me twenty feet into the air!
>Twenty.
>Feet.
>Then Scootaloo caught me while I was 20 feet up!
>She was flying!
>She had sprouted cherubic wings on her back that were flapping like the dickens.
>And she was taking me higher.
"Flight. Very cool." I said. "And may I say those wings look nice?"
>Scootaloo looked a bit surprised as she said "Thank you. But aren't you scared I'm going to drop you?"
With a confident smile I said "Not really."
Then I exclaimed "Pull the lever Kronk!"
>Scootaloo dropped me from sixty feet up.
So naturally I exclaimed "Wrong lever!!" as I fell.
>I crossed my arms and legs in a relaxed posture as I fell, giggling at my own joke like a maniac.
>Fifteen feet from the ground I was surrounded by a white glow that safely slowed me down and left my crossed feet hovering about 2 inches from the ground.
>Sweetie Belle asked with some irritation "Are you going to stand properly or should I just drop you?"

>>42915282
"Sorry." I said as I uncrossed my legs and assumed a standing posture.
>She set me down.
"Also telekinesis is very nice and much harder to deal with if I'm honest."
Then I looked at Apple Bloom and declared "I assume the stress test is over and that I passed?"
>Apple Bloom replied "It's over, but I don't know if you passed. You were screaming as you fell."
"I was telling a joke from the movie 'The Emperor's New Groove". On Youtube, look up 'Pull the lever Kronk' and you'll get several clips from that movie." I said with some smugness.
>The cheerleaders found and played the clip, shared some glances among themselves, and looked at me.
>In unison they said "Okay, you passed."
>Apple Bloom stated "But there's something we need to do before bringing you to the front of the school.
>Scootaloo informed me "There's a crowd of folks over there taking pictures, and you're on information security."
>Sweetie Belle had produced a garment bag from somewhere and declared "So you have to wear a disguise."
>The first part of the disguise was a modified baseball cap that looked like something from the Disney store. It had large white cartoon eyes on the front while the rest of the actual cap was blue.
>The bill of the cap was bright yellow in the center that darkened to a burnt orange towards the edges.
>There was also a strip of translucent burnt orange cloth that was attached to the cap and the sides of the bill. I assumed it was to make taking pictures of my face difficult. It went down to the bottom of my neck.
>I was also given a jacket that was mostly blue with the chest area being bright white.
>And some cheap blue gloves, which helped hide my skin color unless you looked at my face from the front.
>I was then led out to the front of the school through the front doors.
>There was a crowd of folks from the bottom of the steps stretching out to the street in a very loosely packed fashion.
>They were mostly looking at something above us.
>It was a banner that I couldn't read from this angle.

>>42915285
>This reeked of a set up.
"Do I want to know what the banner says?" I asked
>The cheerleaders cheerfully said in unison "It says 'The King says SEND MOAR!'"
>As I groaned, my mind went racing.
>There was more planned!
>The front of the school was to act as a stage plainly.
>But a stage for what?
>My only clues were the word 'King', and the way I was dressed.
>Blue body and hands, white chest, and a yellow bill
>Fuck.
Keeping an even voice I asked "So does anyone want to tell me why I'm dressed like Zazu from The Lion King?"
>Rainbow quickly declared "I KNEW he'd figure it out!"
>Suddenly senpai was in front of me and addressing the others with "Remember girls, we WILL touch, stroke, tweak, and above all GROPE the Zazu."
>The other girls around me took their cues to do just that!
Quietly I said to senpai "That,.. that is SO not what I said for you."
>Senpai just smiled and spun away to stage left and the rest of the girls followed her.
>Instantly I was in line with the cheerleaders in what looked to be center stage.
>Apple Bloom, the one with super strength, put her arm around my shoulder.
>The implied message was clear.
>I wasn't getting away from this.
>And it would be over quicker if I went along with everything.
Through gritted teeth I said loud enough for the cheerleaders to hear me "Fine. I'll play along and be Zazu for you."
>The cheerleaders smiles got a little wider at that.
>Apple Bloom began to address the crowd "LADIES AND WONDERCOLTS! MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE."
>The crowd got quiet and focused their attention on the stage.
>Apple Bloom continued "We're here today to introduce you to our new KING OF THE FRESHMEN!"
>Scootaloo took it from there. "Now some of you sophomore, junior, and senior ladies may have noticed six new toys here at the school."
>The crowd started to murmur a bit on the cheerful side.

>>42915286
>Sweetie Belle announced "Well it was the King here whose decisiveness got those toys!"
>That got some whoops, hollers, and cheers and lusty chuckles.
>Apple Bloom said "He was quick about it because he wanted to get back to his SEVEN girls!"
>The crowd had reactions like "Did she say SEVEN? Woah!", and "Never hear of a guy having that many! He must be something!"
>As the crowd was reacting, the girls walked onto the stage in a line behind us to cheers.
>Scootaloo Said "But he's actually kind of modest and shy. We had to trick him up here."
>I nodded bashfully.
>Sweetie Belle then added "But we know he's gonna do GREAT things! So can you help us encourage him?"
>The crowd shouted back "YEAH!"
>An instrumental version of "I Just Can't Wait to be King!" starts playing over the PA system.

>Apple Bloom stretches her hand out towards the horizon and sings "You're gonna be a mighty King, so enemies beware!"
I responded in a matching voice while sweeping my hands to indicate my body "Well I've never seen a King or beast with quite so little hair!"
>Apple Bloom released me, but I was immediately grabbed by Scootaloo who took off into the air! "You're gonna be the main event! Like no King was before!"
>Scootaloo dropped me and Sweetie Belle telekinetically grabbed me and set me down safely while singing "You're brushing up on looking down!
>Fluttershy looked at me and sang "You're working on your ROAR!"
I put my hands up in protest as I sang "It's thus far a rather uninspiring thing."
>The girls and cheerleaders ALL sang "Oh we just can't WAIT for the King!"
>The girls surrounded me as I sang "We've rather a long way to go young ladies if you think.."
>Applejack brushed my shoulder with her finger while singing "No one saying do this."
"Now when I said that.."
>Senpai stroked my side as she sang "No one saying be there."
"What I meant was.."
>Rainbow grabbed my butt and sang "No one saying stop that."
"Look, what you don't realize.."
>Pinkie and Rarity came from either side, pointed at my crotch, and sang "No one saying see here."
I futilely tried to cover myself with both hands as I exclaimed "Now see here!"

>>42915289
>My Queen rudely thrust her hips in the air with her fists at her side as she sang "Free to pound it in all day!"
"Well that's definitely out." I sang.
>Then the girls spun in and suddenly I was a centerpiece. My Queen and Rarity were by my shoulders. Applejack and Rainbow were ducking by my waist. And senpai and Fluttershy were kneeling by my hips.
>Pinkie? Oh she jumped up on my back and clamped my sides with her knees and my head between her D-cups!
>And they ALL sang "Free to do us all his way!" with arms outstretched.
>The girls spun away.
"I think it's time that you and I arranged a heart to heart."
>Suddenly the cheerleaders were next to me singing "Kings shouldn't need to dress like little hornbills for a start."
I started walking towards the end of the stage singing "If this is where the monarchy is headed count me out!"
"Out of service!"
"Out of Canterlot!"
"I wouldn't hang about!"
>As I expected, a white field appeared around me and I was floated back to center stage.
"These girls are getting wildly out of wing!"
>The girls were spread across the stage encouraging the audience to participate as they sang "Oh we just can't wait for the King!"
>Then the girls all quickly hugged me as the drumbeats for the elephant footsteps happened.
>I didn't hate that.
>Suddenly Apple Bloom picked me up by the hips and placed me on her shoulders as the cheerleaders sang "Everybody look left." And spun once to the left.
>Then they sang "Everybody look right." And spun once to the right.
>"Everywhere you look he's standing in the spot light!"
"Not yet!"
>The girls and many audience members sang "Let every creature go for broke and sing!"
>"Lets hear it in the herd and on the wing."
>"It's gonna be King Simba's finest fling."
>"Oh we just can't wait for the King."
>Apple Bloom tosses me twenty feet up to Scootaloo.
>"Oh we just can't wait for the King."
>Scootaloo drops me off in a TK bubble just above the banner and next to my Queen, who was waiting for me.
>"Oh we just can't wait for the King!
>My queen and I pose with an arm around each other's waist and the other outstretched.

>>42915293
>We hold the pose for about ten seconds after the song is finished so folks can take photos.
>Then Sweetie Bell lowers us to the ground.
>We do various group and individual bows.
>Finally it seems to be over, but I should make sure.
"Is it over? Are we done?" I ask with some urgency.

>>42915294
Hello everyone! It's Tuesday and time for another installment of How to be Dense!
This week we have more fun with the cheerleaders!
Turns out they have superpowers!
(Nothing terribly fancy. Didn't need to reinvent the wheel for them.)
And we revisit a song!
But questions are also starting to loom!
Why, and how, do the cheerleaders AND the disciplinary committee have superpowers?
Why was CHS attacked?
Why is CHS pushing for a King?
And why does everyone seem to want/expect Anonymous to have sex with the HuMane 7?

Next week we have a very polite and unhinged rant and the start of a group date
Next Tuesday on How to be Dense!

>>42915253
>no new years theme
No sense of celebrations.

>>42915481
>wine bottle

>>42915546
No feelings of festivities. Please restart the thread.

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>>42915552
Please restart your day then post again.

>>42915296
Can’t wait for the next part

I know everyone loves the mane seven but I really think that green girl is hot
Forgot her name

>>42915973
Wallflower Blush.
She will eventually have a walk-on part in How to be Dense.

>>42915973
Cauliflower Crush

>>42915254
Still no nude version anywhere?

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Has a smutty green of Stellar Flare ever been made yet?

>>42916995
I don't even recall greens about pony Stellar Flare

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new

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>>42917265

>>42917265
>>42917266
She was a skater girl
She said see you later girl

>>42915973
>>42916346
Hall Power Rush

>>42915973
Mallhour Busch

>>42917265
>>42917266
Ray sitting in her pocket is a nice touch, though I'd be worried about him getting hurt if she falls.

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>>42917618
>I'd be worried about him getting hurt if she falls
>if she falls
Anon, I don't think you realize who you're talking about, just look at her!

Surely this year will the pogo pinkie animation come out?

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Okay, looks like switching browsers got the captcha to work again. I'll make this post really quickly then pass out now that it's past midnight.
>>42919041
Yes, expect it this month without a doubt (January). Much more likely in the first half too.
>>42915296
>>42917265
>>42917266
Great stuff, fellas.

>>42919297
>spoiler
Holy shit

>>42917616
>>42915973
Beerhall Putsch

>>42917407
Ball Fowler Hush

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>>42912656
Reminder that there will be a EQG Stream this sunday!
We'll watch the first movie along with at least 8 hours of related content, and we'll play UT2004 CTF + Gartic Phone!
>Countdown
https://www.tickcounter.com/countdown/9000453/eqg-stream
Hoping to see you there!
If you're afraid you'll forget, send an email to eqgstream@gmail.com with whatever you want and I'll make sure to send you reminders when the stream is coming up

>>42920300
I’ll be there

>>42920997
Cute tomboy

>>42921352
Nice

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>>42921930

>>42921930
>>42921939
Ooh neat, where are they?

>>42922537
i just took a theme and concept from someone's suggestions, and just drew upon what seemed interesting from various references.

There's an NSFW thread here if anyone wants >>>/trash/80316973

>>42921930
>>42921939
>tfw will never be saved from a deserted island from vampire sunset on a raft
>or better, trapped on one with her