New Year Edition Previous Edition: >>42870347 Fauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/ Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives: https://ponepaste.org/1046 Have a broken Pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.in Remember: not to save anything of value on Pastebin ignore all attempts at early new threads Thread question: Will our new years resolution make you a better husband?
>>42925349God damnit. That's supposed to say YOUR
>>42925349WE
>>42925264>>42925349>>42925402>>42925413"Human colt can't write for shit. Exposes male hivemind"
>>42925264Did her spell turn him into a nerd?
>>42925413WUZ
last thread didn't deserve it, we had good shit going on
last thread killed my herd and now I want revenge
>>42925825None of this would've happened if Celestia didn't give stallions rights.
Prince Anon, the ruler of the kitchen.Bake the noble mare a meal they won't forget.Then help the butlers to clean the castle.
>>42925264Honestly ENM has a lot of potential in more clothes-oriented AUs.
do you think that in some villages colts are rare enough to be considered a special occasion?
>>42926058I'm pretty sure those villages would need colts to even exist, anon
>>42926058You mean like when they're born? Could be, depending on the severity of the gender ratio. Imagine there being a unique festival for your birthday.>>42926075They could be brought around on a circuit for really small villages, like how traveling priests would do religious/legal/burial work.
>>42926058They have a festival that's kind of like tying the Maypole.
>>42926151>a unique festival for your birthdaySounds like a birthday-in-december setup.>itinerant stallionsLarge hers of females and small herds of males that travel between them is how irl horses work, isn't it?
>>42925264>that picYou're mocking us now.
>>42926330Colts born December/January waiting a whole year for birthmas
>>42926058Equestria is a big place, theres alot of small villages and hamlets that stud out the few males they do have, i heard in old times earth pony settlements used to buy stallions like cattle.
>>42926330I mean the point of the festival would be for the whole village to celebrate that you exist
>>42927044So, like a double-birthday party?
>>42927044Do we have a wicker mare?
>>42927050Yeah, one to celebrate your birthday and the other to count down the years till you're legal
All i want from a mare or a herd is three things. A house, cleaning supplies to keep the house clean and a field to grow a garden of flowers to give to her or them.
>>42927131Yes. It was kind of like that new Divinity trailer, but it involved squash soup instead of damnation.
>>42927391>Pick me colts>On my Yakyakistani parasprite enthusiast forumThanks, CELESTIA.
>>42927465It's always a bug. Don't fall for it fillies. I'd hate to rescue you all from pods. Again.
>>42927465Sounds to me that that colt will be "pickin me flowers" amiright?
>>42925264Genuine question.Is anal taboo for mares or they really like it?In the same vein, what mares think of anon butthole?
What Female:Male ratio do you favor for your stories?The numbers from S1 gave something like 10:1.Later seasons was something like 3:1.Is the stallion population 25%? 10%? Less?
>>42927745S1 numbers, gotta love extremes
>>42927830That's verging on the "we're going to war to get some dick" range.When you get to RGREquestria, are you looking forward to having an armed detail escorting you everywhere?
>>42927745I think 4:1 ratio makes the most sense while also keeping the rgre feel natural and fun
>>42927830>>42927869Many of the stories I have rattling around in my head have more extreme numbers, 10:1 sometimes all the way to hundreds to 1. Ongoing crisis, increasingly militarized society, banditry, class stratification, males becoming quasi-religious icons. Lots of juicy tension.>>42927949However it really is true that 4:1 is the magic number for a nice, lighthearted time.
Guys what should my profile pic be?Me in socks with a game controller?Or me at work? (I'm a social media manager for a haycart dealership and my bosses are so clumsy they always drop bits for me to pick up).I was also thinking of a pic of me jogging, and yes, it counts as 'jogging' even if it's just to Taurbucks for another Pinkety Colt Drinkety, tyvm.
>>42927869Sounds like a fun green to make, i cant write for shit, but im very fond of the idea of whoa posting with some equestrian going after earth for catching themselfs some males, since the earth powers are kinda in a caothic state en, i see it kinda works, more with magic bullshit being op like always
>>42927869>out with the guards to buy vegetables and socialize>strike up a conversation with a random mare in the market>this is the statistical equivalent of a random guy getting chatted up by a perfect 10 celebrity supermodel>she just stares at you and whispers "wh-why are you doing this?">smooch her cheek and lift a little tail as you stroll off>guardsmares have to put up with you nuking some poor girl's brain every time you go out in public
>>42928196a mare typed this larping as a stallion to marefish some loser neet mares for bits
>Find a stallion live streaming a game>Join his game and start screaming slurs>He starts fucking crying and sobbing because he can't figure out how to mute me (dumb colt can't into technology lmao)>He's actually acting hysterical over hearing the zigger word>Kick back and laugh as his simp beta mares that moderate his stream try to calm him downLmao coltoids are the worst
>>42928556Sister, please stop harrassing colts on the ponynet, you have royal duties to attend to
>>42928570Lmao shut up simp
>>42928556Get a real job mare. And no being the moon princess isn’t a job you mooch. Your sister does fine running the kingdom.
>>42928614>"Have you had a nightmare since I've returned? No? You're welcome."
>>4292861441.102.86.172Lily ValleyPonyville, Equestria31 Haybale road
>>42928556>>42928647>Wake up>See stallion>Day ruined
>>42928647Peeping mare.
>>42928695Luna's mad because her goon cave suffered a catastrophic collapse and she lost all her porn
>>42928977delet this. if that's okay with you.
>>42927949>>42928121The ratio detemines the "normal" herd size. 4 mares seems like the perfect setup, where nobody gets lonely, but nobody gets lost in the crowd.Although, having 6:1 means you have an excuse for the entire Mane Six to form a herd with Anon, like in all those trash wish-fulfillment fics.
>>42929162>The ratio detemines the "normal" herd size.Nah. There's only so many mares the average stallion can handle, and past a certain number, you've got mares only getting maybe an hour of attention over a week. 3 - 6 mares per herd is the optimal range, with the societal ratio doing more to determine relations between the sexes than anything else.
>>42928202>MARED, the story of humans helpless against invaders from another world!If I ever find enough motivation, I've wanted to write a story where ponies abduct human men. They jump to a parallel world, and are careful to take only 0.001% of the males. The real problem is that there are also thousands of other parallel worlds doing the same, and they're unknowingly depopulating the human males.
>>42929162Lets say (you) land the mane 6, for whatever reason/s they choose you as their stallion. Where do you live? the 6 of them have pretty different lifestyles
>>42929188>Pre-season 3You live with the herd's alpha, assuming they don't decide to all move in together since they're a herd now.>Post-season 3The castle
>>42929196>the herd's alpha>Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack are always abducting you, trying to claim alpha status.
>>42929196The main six are inconsistent between seasons. It’s going to be a nightmare.
>>42928682Proxy crystals bitch!
>>42928977Failed mane extensions?
>>42929233Pinkie would circumvent them every time.
>>42930083>Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash are ransacking Pinkie Pie's room at Sugarcube Corner, having convinced Twilight Sparkle to distract the Pink Menace while they try to find Anon.>Meanwhile: Fluttershy blushes and tries not to giggle as Anon sits around on her couch, wearing his usual suit, along with the addition of a spiked collar and a headband with dog ears on it.Her ability to hide you from even the most powerful search magics is uncanny.
Stallion has gone to far with their freedom.We need to put them in their place before they ruin equestria even more.
>>42930260Step aside, mare
>>42925264Starlight and Trixie ca do way better than that nerd, loser Sunburst…
>>42930595>2-mare herd>colt has a cushy make-work sinecure with the palacethey're doing just fine I think
>>42928121>hundreds to 1How did they end up like that, and how bad does it get?
>>42930595Exactly, that's why Trixie is with me.
Do you think Celestia had prince anonymous made so her and the other princesses could have their own pet alicorn stallion? its not as if he has any real political power anyway
>>42930797I never understood this thought even if he is a stallion he's still an alicorn yeah his voice will never be equal to the sisters or other alicorns but he's still an alicorn.
>>42931120simp hooves typed this
>>42931141If I was an Alicorn I would make a spell that detects if you entered Equestrian land and once detected you would be teleported straight to Yakistan.
>>42931168Just make one now. No need to be an alicorn.
Prince anon is having a tea party with his stuff toys in the garden.I hope no villeins try to kidnap him and force him into their herd.
>>42931859they did this to prince anon
>>42931859>i sure hope that i'm not foalnapped by a gorgeous female villain that will emotionally manipulate me into developing a crush on her and her lackeys>i definitely want to be here, where several noblemares keep sending their daughters my way to develop a friendship that can (hopefully) flourish into a marriage>and i certainly enjoy how they all are just yes-mares that will just quietly discard anything i do or say without being upfront about it>it would distress a lot if i'm taken out from my golden cage enjoyable life>be servant>the young prince is being whimsical again with his nonsensical theatrics>and i definitely don't want to be the one to actually do it, no ma'am
>>42930731>How did they end up like thatUsually some unstoppable, emergent phenomenon of magic which also tends to steadily increase the average magical power of mares while leaving stallions unchanged.>how bad does it get?Numerically, as bad as warrants the stories I want to tell.Qualitatively, on the very extreme end: everything to do with males becomes a lottery ticket. Every form of power, hierarchy, and organization is inseparable from the capture male reproductive utility and the extension of reproductive benefits as an integral function of the client-matron relationship.For example: a young filly is found to be perhaps a little too good at math. She is put into a special education pipeline, unbeknownst to her she is pitted again the other clever fillies there. She studies hard, and places well amongst them at each test, and she moves on to each new stage of this pipeline with an increasingly narrow selection of the original peers. She is admitted to an elite university in the Parsley League, called Horsevard, where she continues to excel. She graduates, a young Horsevard mare, and with offers from the big Equestrian finance houses moves from Chamomilebridge to Manehattan to become an intern at Goldmare Saddles. She works exhausting hours alongside other interns, doing frankly frivolous analysis 20+ hours a day, to produce reports seldom read, until it is determined that she is among the biggest go-getters amongst the clever fillies who are all quite good at math. The department subjects her to a battery of further interviews, including a culture fit in which she is introduced to the department's stallion. Goldmare is a very, very prestigious company: every department gets their own. He's the sixth stallion she has ever met in her life (partially the fault of the grind), and this interview is the most male attention she has ever received. They hit it off well enough, and she emerges a Goldmare mare. Pay aside, she gets full medical, dental, vacation time, a company card, access to the company blimp, special hotel privileges when traveling. Maternity leave is a given. Most importantly, she's put in last place on the stallion roster (performance and seniority are a factor), in a department of 28 mares. She's in the 99th percentile of access. Once a week or so, her manager will take a few of them out for a night on the town with the stallion. He's available for socializing during breaks in the office, and if that becomes a source of competitive tension, even clever mares are fungible. Her friend is an administrator at a small office, with an acceptable apartment a ways out from the city core, with a bit of a grueling commute, but a modest quality of life. She expects that, in her 30s, with her parents' help, she'll have saved up enough for a session with one of the government studs raised at the Preparatory. She has her groceries bagged by a filly who must weigh the risks of a illegal street stud.
>>42931874And then Celestia wonders why her sister is such a marecel
>>42932346I love my tiny butted Marecel
>>42932602
>>42932628Gets mogged by a 5/10 earth pony.
It must be nice being a princess since you'd never have to share your stallion with another mare.
>>42931859>they kidnap the stuffed toys instead>ponirism
>>42931874The Two sisters bullying the prince recreationally
>>42933733No wonder Sombra turned out the way he did. Gay.
>>42933438A harem of colts.
My roommate just burn down our house trying a summon spell to "get us a human stallion husband".I don't even like the books or the TV show.
>alicorn anoncolt appeared in the middle of nowhere>after a few hours of wandering he happened upon starlight's cult>she saw he was an alicorn without a cutie mark (yet) and took him in>mostly out of good will!>she also wanted to use him as an example that even alicorns can be equal>anon gets an equal mark and thinks that the mental changes it causes is just how magic horses feel all the time
>>42934618>Blank flankShe'd definitely have Anonicorn sleep in her house "for his protection"
>>42934618>"But what about the staff!">"The staff was just a piece of wood I found in the desert!">"But what about Anon?!">"Anon was just a stray I took in also from the desert."
>>42934618
>>42934983this is so god damned adorable
>>42934990thanks, i gave him the cult cut and desaturated nasty palette
>>42934983He looks so clueless but perfectly content to be there
>>42934983>Be Anon>Pegacorn>Chilling at Sugar Belle's bakery>Starlight had to go to "The Cave" to do whatever the hell she does>You're eating a cupcake right now>Tastes fucking terrible>Not quite dirt, but not quite cardboard>Maybe you still have human tastebuds and you just gotta get used to horse food>"Goodness, you must've been hungry, kiddo." Sugar Belle exclaims>Realize you've eaten like eight already"Yeah, they're alright.">Take another bite>These are kinda grainy, you realize>Horseworld is a trip
>>42935016Man, your introduction to Equestria is Our Town. What a horrible start.
>>42934618>>42935016>>42934983>Anon accidentally called starlight "mom"
Imagine being so hot that two nations go to war over you.Who would be the /RGRE/ version of Helen of Troy?
>>42935420>Imagine being so hot that two nations go to war over you.This is just Celestia vs. Chrysalis, easily
>>42934852>>42935299>>"Anon was just a stray I took in also from the desert.">Anonicorn hears thisI want some angstkino
>>42935420I hate to say it, but Shining Armor or Blueblood seem to be the obvious answers here.
>>42927869>Be Anon, a highly prized owner of a dick.>No, seriously, there's practically no males here, the ratio is somewhere around 200 mares to 1 stallion.>The crown doesn't know what to do with you since you're an alien.>Thus, be escorted by security detail everywhere you go for now.>Three shifts of four cute mares.>They think they look imposing with their sunshades and suits.>Adorable colorful lil' fuzzballs playing tough.>It's all a facade, though.>After all, they have almost stopped complaining about you coming into their quarters to tuck the previous shift in into their widdle pony beds.
>Mares?>After MY virginity?>Heh, too slow..
>>42936837Anon, you're going to cause riots.
>>42936837Oh what's the problem, not like an offspring can be made from such a union.
>>42936837Ok coming for me, a guy with a derp hatred for the CIA or any secret service agency, i wanna pet the mares in black so hard their manes are a mess, also goodnight kisses and bedtime story until they are asleep.What are you all looking me like that? I might be a genocidal maniac with a gun-nut (not that type of nut ya bloody bastard) tendency but i DO have a soft spot for the cute mares...
>>42935446Chrysalis doesn't have a legitimate nation. Just a single hive.
>>42937884Don't let her hear you say that, anon
>>42936837>around 200 mares to 1 stallion.Yeah, this is definitely in the "troublesome" range.For example: When dragons find out about Spike, you'll have dragonesses regularly trying to kidnap him.>Isn't he, like, 10?He won't be a kid forever. Best to grab him now, before anyone else lays claim to him.
>>42937928Oh no, I sure hope no powerful mares come and take advantage of my naivete and deflower my young body, I would HATE that
>>42937936>he acts like an adult>close enough for me>t. average noblemare
>>42937900W-W-whats she's is she doing to that poor mare?!
>>42937928>>42938032>Celestia reviewing notes for the day's affairs>Griffon dignitaries, new school opening, banks increasing overnight rate a quarter percent, underground magic lab with ties to nobility discovered researching spell to make underage colts virile, new law about recycling tin cans, railroad maintena->wait>wait a minute>Celestia's eyes narrow
>>42938705To the moon with them!
>>42938931Yeah, fuck them bankers!
>>42937928>>42927869the Problem with extreme gender ratios past 20:1 is, that after that point the quirky gender dynamics stop being somewhat optional and challengable and start being more a thing of actual survival for society. Only getting worse the harsher the ratio.Telling such a society about our 50/50 split would make you a top priority biology research project.
>Finally get the human summoning ritual to work>He isn't trad at all>He's the brattiest colt I've ever met>Doesn't wanna cook>Doesn't like to wear long socks>Doesn't want to eat pussyYou lied to me /mlh/
>>42939453Sounds like a filly cheaper out on her summoning materials like a typical wagey.
>>42939453It's time to learn how to correct a humie, anon
>>42939486With bananas?
>>42939453You think that's bad?>at work, nothing going on, boss went home early>stupid fucking redditor coworker whips out his DS to play his bing bing wahoo bullshit>about to beat him to death with a stapler when he gets fucking raptured out of reality>hasn't returned>get hit by a truck on the way out to my car>wake up as a pikachu, my dick looks like some nightmare spike from hell now>stuck exploring dungeons with some dipshit bulbasaur rescuing retards who got lost down hereI hate my coworker so much, our isekais got mixed up
>>42938032>Be Anon, these ponies act too much like children for your taste.>Turn down mares.>Be Noblemare.>MAD.
>sunset lost anon to this
>>42939351>after that point the quirky gender dynamics stop being somewhat optional and challengable and start being more a thing of actual survival for societygiving me darkfic ideas rly
>>42940551At the 200:1 level, it's not just different from our world, it's unrecognizable compared to the show.>A "family" is 200-600 mares sharing as little as 1 stallion.>That stallion is possibly state-mandated, part of the Princess's program to keep everypony from literally going to war over dick.>A foal may never even meet their sire. Even if they do, it is probably as another face in the crowd.>Any tendency to homosexuality in stallions is met with coercion against it at best and some sort of mind-altering magic as an expected matter of course>Stallions are rarely seen in public. You'll never never have "a night out with the boys" in this Equestria.
>>42940761>Enter Anon.>Doesn't give a flying fuck about pony beauty standards, all mares look cute to him>The main coercion tactic is not even a coercion tactic: the mare has to make puppy eyes and say that she really wants a foal of her own>Walking hug dispenser with a rate of 1000+ mares per day>Every foal he sires has 1:1 gender balance>BUT>Every foal born is an alicorn, and as bratty as Anon can get, and the only ones who can possibly hope to rein them in are either mom mare or Anon.>Discord has been munching on popcorn non-stop watching Celestia and Luna agonize over whether they should open the floodgates of the Anon Breeding Program.
>>42940372I'd be upset too if I lost to a goldfish.
>>42940761>A "family" is 200-600 mares sharing as little as 1 stallion.tbf there are maximum sizes of organization like this. You would have smaller core families, and that family would have satellite engagements like studding or whatever. Being part of immediate management of a male would be fiercely contested ground. It's likely that many mares would simply be SOL and never have a chance at meeting a male.
>>42941185Many mares get the baster blaster.
>>42940761I wonder if colts even know their mother.
>>42941570Probably, if only because a mare who has a colt has brought something incredibly valuable into the world and it preserves the incentive to try.
>>42927497Mares say it like they have never been tricked onceHorny and desperate and it happens
>>42927745Depends how horny i am?Theres a couple of mangas that get it almost right. The 1000:1 has this dude fucking everything, his neighbors his classmates, his senpai.Super horny but peak wish fulfillment On the other hand, theres this one thats like 4:1, guys have small cliques of followers but their not putting out for every single dame. Much better for writting and getting into the mood to make lore. How nightclubs exist, workers rights, male only traincars. The works. Then again back in the realm of pure horny, we do have world of reverse gender roles on the doujinshi sites. And our lad whoring himself out to rich girls was kino. Almost gets in trouble with his teacher? Seduce her too!
who do you think would be the quickest to understand Anon's insane mareculinity being caused by RGR? I feel like Derpy Hooves might be the one to be totally okay with it lol
I just want everyone to know that your all loser for believing that Equestria has a 20:1 population.It's really 3:1 population.T. someone stuck in Equestria
>>42941953>T. someone stuck in Equestriapost amres
>>42941953Post hooves.
Mares will send unsolicited pics of their clit but I'm the weirdo when I follow up asking to see their ponut too
>>42934983>>42935299>>anonicorn looks at starlight>she had just gotten done drying herself off from her bath>and her cutie mark is uncovered"Mo- uh Starlight how come you have your cutie mark covered up with a fake equal sign?">starlight gives anon a demeaning smile>"Oh Anon, some ponies are just more equal than others!"
>>42942273Give her a helicopter ride.
>>42940952>anon sperm makes 1:1 sex ratio foalsThat's enough to get a drop of your semen go for a king's ransom in some kind of black market.>every foal is an alicornAnd now we're speedrunning Equestra Societal Collapse (100% run).
>>42941830links/names for some good ones?
>>42942329NTA but my hands down top pick for mega-harem / wish fulfillment artists is Akatsuki Myuuto. He's been pulling stuff down from nhentai and sadpanda lately, but if you can find them, his Lovemare and Lingua Franca series are GOATed. His current Succubus Sisters one is also great, but smaller harem. All his other stuff's good too, he has a crazy output.
>>42942289>Give her a helicopter ride.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S98CmLnjYsA
>>42942319He's never allowed to masturbate.
>>42942697Ge's got thousands of mares vying for him at any time. When would he ever have time to masturbate?
>Elements of Harmony turn Sombra into a colt>Tirek, Storm King, Discord all also stripped of power and turned into colts>All of them get Epstein'd by Mane 6
the masculine urge to watch the mare you love valiantly duel an evil rogue to the death for your hoof in marriage
>>42942854Imagine de-aged Sombra, all full of little colt emotions as you re-enter puberty, rendered powerless and hopelessly outclassed by the Mares around you, being sentenced to have your life indefinitely extended by the alicorns to serve as a crown breeding stud as punishment for your crimes.
>>42942854>SombraHis whole goal is to get back to life. I'm pretty sure any of his foals would have a stronger claim to the throne of the Crystal Empire than Cadence. He'll be fine.>TirekHe's spent thousands of years in Pony Hell. If nothing else, it's not boring. He's also been shown that he knows how to just chill out when there is nothing he can do at the time. Unless "Epstein'd" involves getting his adrenochrome harvested, he'll be okay, too.>Storm KingTotal brat. Recommend corrective rape. He needs to learn to be obedient and not be so poorly-written.>DiscordHe knows all the flaws of the Mane 6 and how to turn them against each other. Now he's fucking them. Between him and coltified Prince Anonymous, Equestria will crumble from within.Come to think of it, de-aging and seducing the Mane 6 sounds like something Discord would do, anyway.
idk how you write fags ever have the confidence to post your stuff I get so iffy about my own stuff. Speaking of which I hope sunburst Anon returns soon.
>>42943535It's not that hard, just type it out in notepad, split into post-sized chunks and post 'em.Even in the worst case scenario you can just pretend you never posted that if you didn't namefag.Easy-peasy lemon squeezy.
>>42943535>Post green>Get yousSimple as
>>42943535I can't even get the writing done, I hate everything that comes out even though I like the big idea
>>42943925>Post bait>Get even more yousSimple as
>>42944229>Samefag three autistic meltdowns at once>Get a constant stream of yous from anons defending your various positionsSimple as
>>42944174>I can't even get the writing done, I hate everything that comes out even though I like the big ideaSameThat's why I'm a promptfag, I get the idea out of my head and hope anons like it enough to write greens of it
>>42944261>He isn't simultaneously pretending to be four different schizos for years at a time while regularly getting blamed for the actions of four other schizos who might also be the same person, or may not even exist at all.You are like little baby.
>Be Prince Anon>Force to go to Flurry Heart birthday>One of her friends is drunk and hitting on you>Reject her for being drunk>She then force a kiss on you then puke all over the floor>See a flash and hears hooves running away>Flurry apologies and take friend to guest bedroom>You're not looking forward to tomorrow papers and the protest of stallions "defending" you.>Something something RGRE
>>42944576Hopefully no pictures were taken when it happened.
Guys we need to band together and stop stallion from coming into our fruit farm forms.Apple is a shit fruit btw.
>>4294529812345 Peachway Rd, middle of nowhere Equestria
>>42944576>kiss then puke Very polite of her
>>42942289So to speak.
>>42945305Can't even scry.
>You are anon but you usually go by different names. You’ve gone by Inco, anon a mis, Nomen nescio the list goes on.>Point being is that you don’t stick to the same name or the same place for very long. It's a fast way for someone who’s looking for you to find you.>If someone was looking for you using one of your fake names that was bad enough now imagine hearing your real name in a dark alleyway at 2 in the morning.>You remember that night with some clarity after hearing your name you didn’t even bother to turn around to see who said it.>You broke out into a full sprint but it was too late. You felt something smash against your head and you crumbled to the ground.>After that it started getting blurry and you couldn’t really make much out in the way of words but you remember being hit with a flurry of blows followed by yelling before it all went dark.>You shot up in bed sweating but looking around you realized that there wasn’t anything there. It was that nightmare again, it's been recurring since you got here.>Getting out of bed you groaned and looked outside your window, it was still dark out so there wasn’t much you could do since most of the hor-ponies get up when the sun is up.>Checking the nightstand you take out what looks like a pack of smokes but in reality is candy cigarettes. Apparently ponies here couldn’t get tobacco because it was outlawed due to its ‘harmful effects.’>Opening the pack you realize your down to the last one and out of frustration you just groan and take the remaining fag in hand and leave the empty pack in your nightstand. Getting those things in the first place was a challenge of its own.>Many ponies here look down on smoking or even the pretend act of it, especially book smarts. You still remember her yelling at you when she found out you smoked. >”What if a colt or filly caught you smoking? They might pick up on your bad habits!” >You tried to argue with her for a good while saying how it’s mostly chocolate and bubblegum and having one every once in a while wouldn’t kill you. She was also really worried about you not appearing very stallionlike.>Stepping outside onto your porch you sat down on your chair and started to think to yourself: It's the strangest thing you’ve been here for only really a few months yet you managed to save up enough cas-bits to afford a house. It’s a bit on the smaller side considering your size but hey having somewhere to sleep is much nicer than bumming off book smart forever.>Christ it was annoying trying to live by yourself at first since most of the little ponies here thought purple nurple kicked you out and were forcing you to fend for yourself. >You probably sounded like a battered housewife trying to tell them that she didn’t make you leave and you wanted to get your own place.
>>42945672>As you rocked back and forth in the chair you heard the snap of a branch being pulled back followed by hitting someone, you jumped out of your chair dropping the candy cigarette but as you were on edge you soon heard a familiar voice.>”Owwww-Don’t cry, Applebloom fillies don’t cry.” stifling a laugh you walk over to the bush you heard your mystery guest hiding in who also seems to be trying to hold back some tears from the sound of things.“Hello mysterious guest, do you want to stay hiding in the bush all day or actually tell me what you're doing here?” >The ‘bush’ responded back in a shaky voice. “Ah your ah sleepin that’s right! You should head on back home anony.” shaking your head you shove your hands into the bush you soon pull out an applebloom who seems to be as shocked as you are tired.>”Anony! What are you doing up so early and also in front of your house…”“I live here? Besides, what are you doing up so early? The sun hasn’t shown its ugly face yet.” >Applebloom seemed to take some offense struggling a bit in your grasp while you walked back to your chair. “Hey now just cause you're a stallion doesn’t mean you should say mean things!”“Oh yeah sorry about that I forgot the sun is a touchy subject. Still you haven’t answered my question. What are you doing at my house this late at night?” you sit down and place the tiny gang stalker on your lap.>”I was missin you.” She sounded defeated as she said it. “You ain’t come by the farm in a few days now and I missed hearing your stories.” “Sorry but I've been busy with work, kiddo. Listen, come back another day and I'll-.” >Before you could finish what you were going to say she practically shoves her face into your chest. “N-no just can I just stay with you at least until the sun comes back up please.” she looked up from being nuzzled in your chest with pleading eyes, fuckin cute ass ponies.“Sure you can but you have to tell me why you actually came here. Applejack's probably worried sick about you.” You’ve been oddly good at telling when she lies, granted she doesn’t lie much but when she does she looks like she ate something horribly sour.>”I had a nightmare again..”“Was it about the timberwolves?”>”Yes sir.” You started playing with her mane and thought back to the day she’s talking about. It was the same day you showed up in Equestria right after you woke up from that back alley beatdown.First time writing I'm so sorry if some of it sounds like shit but overall it's a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to writing more.https://ponepaste.org/11671
>>42945675>First time writing I'm so sorry if some of it sounds like shitnah it's good, setup's definitely interesting
>>42945675Not bad. Some typos here and there but it's greentext, who cares.I'd say there's a bit of meandering before getting to the 'hook' of the story but if you want to shoot for a slower-paced story, then absolutely go for it.Don't worry about the quality too much just yet, you ain't gonna write your magnum opus the first time around. Just continue writing (and reading!) and you'll get better at it.
>>42945675>”What if a colt or filly caught you smoking? They might pick up on your bad habits!”>Next scene instantly introduces a fillyApplejack is going to have a word with anon once Applebloom picks up a bad habit.
>>42946125But she's cooler now!
>>42945389Cherry berry is here to help.
>Be prince anon>Sitting at day court with your mom>Two noble stallions are arguing about who wore same matching bow tie first>Mom tries to solve this as a friendship problem>You got to pull one of your move to get them to stop and get the line going"Those bow tie are out of season anyway, why not wear a tie.">Both stallion stop and looked at you>They look at each other and started talking about the latest tie in season>Another problem solved in this backward world.
>>42945675>First time writing I'm so sorry if some of it sounds like shitHave a (you) for actually putting your stuff out there, better than myselfParaphrasing what others said: practice makes prefect. Just continue doing it and you'll steadily improve
So anyone know the best way to win a stallion heart?
>>42947319Unsolicited clam pics
>>42947319Acepromazine
>>42947319If it's one of them humans, banana bread. Go get them mare.
>>42947476>banana breadI hate that this would work on me
Would you let a noir detective mare ramble about how your foal chasing legs could melt a cheese sandwich from halfway across the room?
>>42946578>t. didn't get the reference
