New Year Edition Previous Edition: >>42870347 Fauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/ Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives: https://ponepaste.org/1046 Have a broken Pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.in Remember: not to save anything of value on Pastebin ignore all attempts at early new threads Thread question: Will our new years resolution make you a better husband?
>>42925349God damnit. That's supposed to say YOUR
>>42925349WE
>>42925264>>42925349>>42925402>>42925413"Human colt can't write for shit. Exposes male hivemind"
>>42925264Did her spell turn him into a nerd?
>>42925413WUZ
last thread didn't deserve it, we had good shit going on
last thread killed my herd and now I want revenge
>>42925825None of this would've happened if Celestia didn't give stallions rights.
Prince Anon, the ruler of the kitchen.Bake the noble mare a meal they won't forget.Then help the butlers to clean the castle.
>>42925264Honestly ENM has a lot of potential in more clothes-oriented AUs.
do you think that in some villages colts are rare enough to be considered a special occasion?
>>42926058I'm pretty sure those villages would need colts to even exist, anon
>>42926058You mean like when they're born? Could be, depending on the severity of the gender ratio. Imagine there being a unique festival for your birthday.>>42926075They could be brought around on a circuit for really small villages, like how traveling priests would do religious/legal/burial work.
>>42926058They have a festival that's kind of like tying the Maypole.
>>42926151>a unique festival for your birthdaySounds like a birthday-in-december setup.>itinerant stallionsLarge hers of females and small herds of males that travel between them is how irl horses work, isn't it?
>>42925264>that picYou're mocking us now.
>>42926330Colts born December/January waiting a whole year for birthmas
>>42926058Equestria is a big place, theres alot of small villages and hamlets that stud out the few males they do have, i heard in old times earth pony settlements used to buy stallions like cattle.
>>42926330I mean the point of the festival would be for the whole village to celebrate that you exist
>>42927044So, like a double-birthday party?
>>42927044Do we have a wicker mare?
>>42927050Yeah, one to celebrate your birthday and the other to count down the years till you're legal
All i want from a mare or a herd is three things. A house, cleaning supplies to keep the house clean and a field to grow a garden of flowers to give to her or them.
>>42927131Yes. It was kind of like that new Divinity trailer, but it involved squash soup instead of damnation.
>>42927391>Pick me colts>On my Yakyakistani parasprite enthusiast forumThanks, CELESTIA.
>>42927465It's always a bug. Don't fall for it fillies. I'd hate to rescue you all from pods. Again.
>>42927465Sounds to me that that colt will be "pickin me flowers" amiright?
>>42925264Genuine question.Is anal taboo for mares or they really like it?In the same vein, what mares think of anon butthole?
What Female:Male ratio do you favor for your stories?The numbers from S1 gave something like 10:1.Later seasons was something like 3:1.Is the stallion population 25%? 10%? Less?
>>42927745S1 numbers, gotta love extremes
>>42927830That's verging on the "we're going to war to get some dick" range.When you get to RGREquestria, are you looking forward to having an armed detail escorting you everywhere?
>>42927745I think 4:1 ratio makes the most sense while also keeping the rgre feel natural and fun
>>42927830>>42927869Many of the stories I have rattling around in my head have more extreme numbers, 10:1 sometimes all the way to hundreds to 1. Ongoing crisis, increasingly militarized society, banditry, class stratification, males becoming quasi-religious icons. Lots of juicy tension.>>42927949However it really is true that 4:1 is the magic number for a nice, lighthearted time.
Guys what should my profile pic be?Me in socks with a game controller?Or me at work? (I'm a social media manager for a haycart dealership and my bosses are so clumsy they always drop bits for me to pick up).I was also thinking of a pic of me jogging, and yes, it counts as 'jogging' even if it's just to Taurbucks for another Pinkety Colt Drinkety, tyvm.
>>42927869Sounds like a fun green to make, i cant write for shit, but im very fond of the idea of whoa posting with some equestrian going after earth for catching themselfs some males, since the earth powers are kinda in a caothic state en, i see it kinda works, more with magic bullshit being op like always
>>42927869>out with the guards to buy vegetables and socialize>strike up a conversation with a random mare in the market>this is the statistical equivalent of a random guy getting chatted up by a perfect 10 celebrity supermodel>she just stares at you and whispers "wh-why are you doing this?">smooch her cheek and lift a little tail as you stroll off>guardsmares have to put up with you nuking some poor girl's brain every time you go out in public
>>42928196a mare typed this larping as a stallion to marefish some loser neet mares for bits
>Find a stallion live streaming a game>Join his game and start screaming slurs>He starts fucking crying and sobbing because he can't figure out how to mute me (dumb colt can't into technology lmao)>He's actually acting hysterical over hearing the zigger word>Kick back and laugh as his simp beta mares that moderate his stream try to calm him downLmao coltoids are the worst
>>42928556Sister, please stop harrassing colts on the ponynet, you have royal duties to attend to
>>42928570Lmao shut up simp
>>42928556Get a real job mare. And no being the moon princess isn’t a job you mooch. Your sister does fine running the kingdom.
>>42928614>"Have you had a nightmare since I've returned? No? You're welcome."
>>4292861441.102.86.172Lily ValleyPonyville, Equestria31 Haybale road
>>42928556>>42928647>Wake up>See stallion>Day ruined
>>42928647Peeping mare.
>>42928695Luna's mad because her goon cave suffered a catastrophic collapse and she lost all her porn
>>42928977delet this. if that's okay with you.
>>42927949>>42928121The ratio detemines the "normal" herd size. 4 mares seems like the perfect setup, where nobody gets lonely, but nobody gets lost in the crowd.Although, having 6:1 means you have an excuse for the entire Mane Six to form a herd with Anon, like in all those trash wish-fulfillment fics.
>>42929162>The ratio detemines the "normal" herd size.Nah. There's only so many mares the average stallion can handle, and past a certain number, you've got mares only getting maybe an hour of attention over a week. 3 - 6 mares per herd is the optimal range, with the societal ratio doing more to determine relations between the sexes than anything else.
>>42928202>MARED, the story of humans helpless against invaders from another world!If I ever find enough motivation, I've wanted to write a story where ponies abduct human men. They jump to a parallel world, and are careful to take only 0.001% of the males. The real problem is that there are also thousands of other parallel worlds doing the same, and they're unknowingly depopulating the human males.
>>42929162Lets say (you) land the mane 6, for whatever reason/s they choose you as their stallion. Where do you live? the 6 of them have pretty different lifestyles
>>42929188>Pre-season 3You live with the herd's alpha, assuming they don't decide to all move in together since they're a herd now.>Post-season 3The castle
>>42929196>the herd's alpha>Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack are always abducting you, trying to claim alpha status.
>>42929196The main six are inconsistent between seasons. It’s going to be a nightmare.
>>42928682Proxy crystals bitch!
>>42928977Failed mane extensions?
>>42929233Pinkie would circumvent them every time.
>>42930083>Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash are ransacking Pinkie Pie's room at Sugarcube Corner, having convinced Twilight Sparkle to distract the Pink Menace while they try to find Anon.>Meanwhile: Fluttershy blushes and tries not to giggle as Anon sits around on her couch, wearing his usual suit, along with the addition of a spiked collar and a headband with dog ears on it.Her ability to hide you from even the most powerful search magics is uncanny.
Stallion has gone to far with their freedom.We need to put them in their place before they ruin equestria even more.
>>42930260Step aside, mare
>>42925264Starlight and Trixie ca do way better than that nerd, loser Sunburst…
>>42930595>2-mare herd>colt has a cushy make-work sinecure with the palacethey're doing just fine I think
>>42928121>hundreds to 1How did they end up like that, and how bad does it get?
>>42930595Exactly, that's why Trixie is with me.
Do you think Celestia had prince anonymous made so her and the other princesses could have their own pet alicorn stallion? its not as if he has any real political power anyway
>>42930797I never understood this thought even if he is a stallion he's still an alicorn yeah his voice will never be equal to the sisters or other alicorns but he's still an alicorn.
>>42931120simp hooves typed this
>>42931141If I was an Alicorn I would make a spell that detects if you entered Equestrian land and once detected you would be teleported straight to Yakistan.
>>42931168Just make one now. No need to be an alicorn.
Prince anon is having a tea party with his stuff toys in the garden.I hope no villeins try to kidnap him and force him into their herd.
>>42931859they did this to prince anon
>>42931859>i sure hope that i'm not foalnapped by a gorgeous female villain that will emotionally manipulate me into developing a crush on her and her lackeys>i definitely want to be here, where several noblemares keep sending their daughters my way to develop a friendship that can (hopefully) flourish into a marriage>and i certainly enjoy how they all are just yes-mares that will just quietly discard anything i do or say without being upfront about it>it would distress a lot if i'm taken out from my golden cage enjoyable life>be servant>the young prince is being whimsical again with his nonsensical theatrics>and i definitely don't want to be the one to actually do it, no ma'am
>>42930731>How did they end up like thatUsually some unstoppable, emergent phenomenon of magic which also tends to steadily increase the average magical power of mares while leaving stallions unchanged.>how bad does it get?Numerically, as bad as warrants the stories I want to tell.Qualitatively, on the very extreme end: everything to do with males becomes a lottery ticket. Every form of power, hierarchy, and organization is inseparable from the capture male reproductive utility and the extension of reproductive benefits as an integral function of the client-matron relationship.For example: a young filly is found to be perhaps a little too good at math. She is put into a special education pipeline, unbeknownst to her she is pitted again the other clever fillies there. She studies hard, and places well amongst them at each test, and she moves on to each new stage of this pipeline with an increasingly narrow selection of the original peers. She is admitted to an elite university in the Parsley League, called Horsevard, where she continues to excel. She graduates, a young Horsevard mare, and with offers from the big Equestrian finance houses moves from Chamomilebridge to Manehattan to become an intern at Goldmare Saddles. She works exhausting hours alongside other interns, doing frankly frivolous analysis 20+ hours a day, to produce reports seldom read, until it is determined that she is among the biggest go-getters amongst the clever fillies who are all quite good at math. The department subjects her to a battery of further interviews, including a culture fit in which she is introduced to the department's stallion. Goldmare is a very, very prestigious company: every department gets their own. He's the sixth stallion she has ever met in her life (partially the fault of the grind), and this interview is the most male attention she has ever received. They hit it off well enough, and she emerges a Goldmare mare. Pay aside, she gets full medical, dental, vacation time, a company card, access to the company blimp, special hotel privileges when traveling. Maternity leave is a given. Most importantly, she's put in last place on the stallion roster (performance and seniority are a factor), in a department of 28 mares. She's in the 99th percentile of access. Once a week or so, her manager will take a few of them out for a night on the town with the stallion. He's available for socializing during breaks in the office, and if that becomes a source of competitive tension, even clever mares are fungible. Her friend is an administrator at a small office, with an acceptable apartment a ways out from the city core, with a bit of a grueling commute, but a modest quality of life. She expects that, in her 30s, with her parents' help, she'll have saved up enough for a session with one of the government studs raised at the Preparatory. She has her groceries bagged by a filly who must weigh the risks of a illegal street stud.
>>42931874And then Celestia wonders why her sister is such a marecel
>>42932346I love my tiny butted Marecel
>>42932602
>>42932628Gets mogged by a 5/10 earth pony.
It must be nice being a princess since you'd never have to share your stallion with another mare.
>>42931859>they kidnap the stuffed toys instead>ponirism
>>42931874The Two sisters bullying the prince recreationally
>>42933733No wonder Sombra turned out the way he did. Gay.
>>42933438A harem of colts.
My roommate just burn down our house trying a summon spell to "get us a human stallion husband".I don't even like the books or the TV show.
>alicorn anoncolt appeared in the middle of nowhere>after a few hours of wandering he happened upon starlight's cult>she saw he was an alicorn without a cutie mark (yet) and took him in>mostly out of good will!>she also wanted to use him as an example that even alicorns can be equal>anon gets an equal mark and thinks that the mental changes it causes is just how magic horses feel all the time
>>42934618>Blank flankShe'd definitely have Anonicorn sleep in her house "for his protection"
>>42934618>"But what about the staff!">"The staff was just a piece of wood I found in the desert!">"But what about Anon?!">"Anon was just a stray I took in also from the desert."
>>42934618
>>42934983this is so god damned adorable
>>42934990thanks, i gave him the cult cut and desaturated nasty palette
>>42934983He looks so clueless but perfectly content to be there
>>42934983>Be Anon>Pegacorn>Chilling at Sugar Belle's bakery>Starlight had to go to "The Cave" to do whatever the hell she does>You're eating a cupcake right now>Tastes fucking terrible>Not quite dirt, but not quite cardboard>Maybe you still have human tastebuds and you just gotta get used to horse food>"Goodness, you must've been hungry, kiddo." Sugar Belle exclaims>Realize you've eaten like eight already"Yeah, they're alright.">Take another bite>These are kinda grainy, you realize>Horseworld is a trip
>>42935016Man, your introduction to Equestria is Our Town. What a horrible start.
>>42934618>>42935016>>42934983>Anon accidentally called starlight "mom"
Imagine being so hot that two nations go to war over you.Who would be the /RGRE/ version of Helen of Troy?
>>42935420>Imagine being so hot that two nations go to war over you.This is just Celestia vs. Chrysalis, easily
>>42934852>>42935299>>"Anon was just a stray I took in also from the desert.">Anonicorn hears thisI want some angstkino
>>42935420I hate to say it, but Shining Armor or Blueblood seem to be the obvious answers here.
>>42927869>Be Anon, a highly prized owner of a dick.>No, seriously, there's practically no males here, the ratio is somewhere around 200 mares to 1 stallion.>The crown doesn't know what to do with you since you're an alien.>Thus, be escorted by security detail everywhere you go for now.>Three shifts of four cute mares.>They think they look imposing with their sunshades and suits.>Adorable colorful lil' fuzzballs playing tough.>It's all a facade, though.>After all, they have almost stopped complaining about you coming into their quarters to tuck the previous shift in into their widdle pony beds.
>Mares?>After MY virginity?>Heh, too slow..
>>42936837Anon, you're going to cause riots.
>>42936837Oh what's the problem, not like an offspring can be made from such a union.
>>42936837Ok coming for me, a guy with a derp hatred for the CIA or any secret service agency, i wanna pet the mares in black so hard their manes are a mess, also goodnight kisses and bedtime story until they are asleep.What are you all looking me like that? I might be a genocidal maniac with a gun-nut (not that type of nut ya bloody bastard) tendency but i DO have a soft spot for the cute mares...
>>42935446Chrysalis doesn't have a legitimate nation. Just a single hive.
>>42937884Don't let her hear you say that, anon
>>42936837>around 200 mares to 1 stallion.Yeah, this is definitely in the "troublesome" range.For example: When dragons find out about Spike, you'll have dragonesses regularly trying to kidnap him.>Isn't he, like, 10?He won't be a kid forever. Best to grab him now, before anyone else lays claim to him.
>>42937928Oh no, I sure hope no powerful mares come and take advantage of my naivete and deflower my young body, I would HATE that
>>42937936>he acts like an adult>close enough for me>t. average noblemare
>>42937900W-W-whats she's is she doing to that poor mare?!
>>42937928>>42938032>Celestia reviewing notes for the day's affairs>Griffon dignitaries, new school opening, banks increasing overnight rate a quarter percent, underground magic lab with ties to nobility discovered researching spell to make underage colts virile, new law about recycling tin cans, railroad maintena->wait>wait a minute>Celestia's eyes narrow
>>42938705To the moon with them!
>>42938931Yeah, fuck them bankers!
>>42937928>>42927869the Problem with extreme gender ratios past 20:1 is, that after that point the quirky gender dynamics stop being somewhat optional and challengable and start being more a thing of actual survival for society. Only getting worse the harsher the ratio.Telling such a society about our 50/50 split would make you a top priority biology research project.
>Finally get the human summoning ritual to work>He isn't trad at all>He's the brattiest colt I've ever met>Doesn't wanna cook>Doesn't like to wear long socks>Doesn't want to eat pussyYou lied to me /mlh/
>>42939453Sounds like a filly cheaper out on her summoning materials like a typical wagey.
>>42939453It's time to learn how to correct a humie, anon
>>42939486With bananas?
>>42939453You think that's bad?>at work, nothing going on, boss went home early>stupid fucking redditor coworker whips out his DS to play his bing bing wahoo bullshit>about to beat him to death with a stapler when he gets fucking raptured out of reality>hasn't returned>get hit by a truck on the way out to my car>wake up as a pikachu, my dick looks like some nightmare spike from hell now>stuck exploring dungeons with some dipshit bulbasaur rescuing retards who got lost down hereI hate my coworker so much, our isekais got mixed up
>>42938032>Be Anon, these ponies act too much like children for your taste.>Turn down mares.>Be Noblemare.>MAD.
>sunset lost anon to this
>>42939351>after that point the quirky gender dynamics stop being somewhat optional and challengable and start being more a thing of actual survival for societygiving me darkfic ideas rly
>>42940551At the 200:1 level, it's not just different from our world, it's unrecognizable compared to the show.>A "family" is 200-600 mares sharing as little as 1 stallion.>That stallion is possibly state-mandated, part of the Princess's program to keep everypony from literally going to war over dick.>A foal may never even meet their sire. Even if they do, it is probably as another face in the crowd.>Any tendency to homosexuality in stallions is met with coercion against it at best and some sort of mind-altering magic as an expected matter of course>Stallions are rarely seen in public. You'll never never have "a night out with the boys" in this Equestria.
>>42940761>Enter Anon.>Doesn't give a flying fuck about pony beauty standards, all mares look cute to him>The main coercion tactic is not even a coercion tactic: the mare has to make puppy eyes and say that she really wants a foal of her own>Walking hug dispenser with a rate of 1000+ mares per day>Every foal he sires has 1:1 gender balance>BUT>Every foal born is an alicorn, and as bratty as Anon can get, and the only ones who can possibly hope to rein them in are either mom mare or Anon.>Discord has been munching on popcorn non-stop watching Celestia and Luna agonize over whether they should open the floodgates of the Anon Breeding Program.
>>42940372I'd be upset too if I lost to a goldfish.
>>42940761>A "family" is 200-600 mares sharing as little as 1 stallion.tbf there are maximum sizes of organization like this. You would have smaller core families, and that family would have satellite engagements like studding or whatever. Being part of immediate management of a male would be fiercely contested ground. It's likely that many mares would simply be SOL and never have a chance at meeting a male.
>>42941185Many mares get the baster blaster.
>>42940761I wonder if colts even know their mother.
>>42941570Probably, if only because a mare who has a colt has brought something incredibly valuable into the world and it preserves the incentive to try.
>>42927497Mares say it like they have never been tricked onceHorny and desperate and it happens
>>42927745Depends how horny i am?Theres a couple of mangas that get it almost right. The 1000:1 has this dude fucking everything, his neighbors his classmates, his senpai.Super horny but peak wish fulfillment On the other hand, theres this one thats like 4:1, guys have small cliques of followers but their not putting out for every single dame. Much better for writting and getting into the mood to make lore. How nightclubs exist, workers rights, male only traincars. The works. Then again back in the realm of pure horny, we do have world of reverse gender roles on the doujinshi sites. And our lad whoring himself out to rich girls was kino. Almost gets in trouble with his teacher? Seduce her too!
who do you think would be the quickest to understand Anon's insane mareculinity being caused by RGR? I feel like Derpy Hooves might be the one to be totally okay with it lol
I just want everyone to know that your all loser for believing that Equestria has a 20:1 population.It's really 3:1 population.T. someone stuck in Equestria
>>42941953>T. someone stuck in Equestriapost amres
>>42941953Post hooves.
Mares will send unsolicited pics of their clit but I'm the weirdo when I follow up asking to see their ponut too
>>42934983>>42935299>>anonicorn looks at starlight>she had just gotten done drying herself off from her bath>and her cutie mark is uncovered"Mo- uh Starlight how come you have your cutie mark covered up with a fake equal sign?">starlight gives anon a demeaning smile>"Oh Anon, some ponies are just more equal than others!"
>>42942273Give her a helicopter ride.
>>42940952>anon sperm makes 1:1 sex ratio foalsThat's enough to get a drop of your semen go for a king's ransom in some kind of black market.>every foal is an alicornAnd now we're speedrunning Equestra Societal Collapse (100% run).
>>42941830links/names for some good ones?
>>42942329NTA but my hands down top pick for mega-harem / wish fulfillment artists is Akatsuki Myuuto. He's been pulling stuff down from nhentai and sadpanda lately, but if you can find them, his Lovemare and Lingua Franca series are GOATed. His current Succubus Sisters one is also great, but smaller harem. All his other stuff's good too, he has a crazy output.
>>42942289>Give her a helicopter ride.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S98CmLnjYsA
>>42942319He's never allowed to masturbate.
>>42942697Ge's got thousands of mares vying for him at any time. When would he ever have time to masturbate?
>Elements of Harmony turn Sombra into a colt>Tirek, Storm King, Discord all also stripped of power and turned into colts>All of them get Epstein'd by Mane 6
the masculine urge to watch the mare you love valiantly duel an evil rogue to the death for your hoof in marriage
>>42942854Imagine de-aged Sombra, all full of little colt emotions as you re-enter puberty, rendered powerless and hopelessly outclassed by the Mares around you, being sentenced to have your life indefinitely extended by the alicorns to serve as a crown breeding stud as punishment for your crimes.
>>42942854>SombraHis whole goal is to get back to life. I'm pretty sure any of his foals would have a stronger claim to the throne of the Crystal Empire than Cadence. He'll be fine.>TirekHe's spent thousands of years in Pony Hell. If nothing else, it's not boring. He's also been shown that he knows how to just chill out when there is nothing he can do at the time. Unless "Epstein'd" involves getting his adrenochrome harvested, he'll be okay, too.>Storm KingTotal brat. Recommend corrective rape. He needs to learn to be obedient and not be so poorly-written.>DiscordHe knows all the flaws of the Mane 6 and how to turn them against each other. Now he's fucking them. Between him and coltified Prince Anonymous, Equestria will crumble from within.Come to think of it, de-aging and seducing the Mane 6 sounds like something Discord would do, anyway.
idk how you write fags ever have the confidence to post your stuff I get so iffy about my own stuff. Speaking of which I hope sunburst Anon returns soon.
>>42943535It's not that hard, just type it out in notepad, split into post-sized chunks and post 'em.Even in the worst case scenario you can just pretend you never posted that if you didn't namefag.Easy-peasy lemon squeezy.
>>42943535>Post green>Get yousSimple as
>>42943535I can't even get the writing done, I hate everything that comes out even though I like the big idea
>>42943925>Post bait>Get even more yousSimple as
>>42944229>Samefag three autistic meltdowns at once>Get a constant stream of yous from anons defending your various positionsSimple as
>>42944174>I can't even get the writing done, I hate everything that comes out even though I like the big ideaSameThat's why I'm a promptfag, I get the idea out of my head and hope anons like it enough to write greens of it
>>42944261>He isn't simultaneously pretending to be four different schizos for years at a time while regularly getting blamed for the actions of four other schizos who might also be the same person, or may not even exist at all.You are like little baby.
>Be Prince Anon>Force to go to Flurry Heart birthday>One of her friends is drunk and hitting on you>Reject her for being drunk>She then force a kiss on you then puke all over the floor>See a flash and hears hooves running away>Flurry apologies and take friend to guest bedroom>You're not looking forward to tomorrow papers and the protest of stallions "defending" you.>Something something RGRE
>>42944576Hopefully no pictures were taken when it happened.
Guys we need to band together and stop stallion from coming into our fruit farm forms.Apple is a shit fruit btw.
>>4294529812345 Peachway Rd, middle of nowhere Equestria
>>42944576>kiss then puke Very polite of her
>>42942289So to speak.
>>42945305Can't even scry.
>You are anon but you usually go by different names. You’ve gone by Inco, anon a mis, Nomen nescio the list goes on.>Point being is that you don’t stick to the same name or the same place for very long. It's a fast way for someone who’s looking for you to find you.>If someone was looking for you using one of your fake names that was bad enough now imagine hearing your real name in a dark alleyway at 2 in the morning.>You remember that night with some clarity after hearing your name you didn’t even bother to turn around to see who said it.>You broke out into a full sprint but it was too late. You felt something smash against your head and you crumbled to the ground.>After that it started getting blurry and you couldn’t really make much out in the way of words but you remember being hit with a flurry of blows followed by yelling before it all went dark.>You shot up in bed sweating but looking around you realized that there wasn’t anything there. It was that nightmare again, it's been recurring since you got here.>Getting out of bed you groaned and looked outside your window, it was still dark out so there wasn’t much you could do since most of the hor-ponies get up when the sun is up.>Checking the nightstand you take out what looks like a pack of smokes but in reality is candy cigarettes. Apparently ponies here couldn’t get tobacco because it was outlawed due to its ‘harmful effects.’>Opening the pack you realize your down to the last one and out of frustration you just groan and take the remaining fag in hand and leave the empty pack in your nightstand. Getting those things in the first place was a challenge of its own.>Many ponies here look down on smoking or even the pretend act of it, especially book smarts. You still remember her yelling at you when she found out you smoked. >”What if a colt or filly caught you smoking? They might pick up on your bad habits!” >You tried to argue with her for a good while saying how it’s mostly chocolate and bubblegum and having one every once in a while wouldn’t kill you. She was also really worried about you not appearing very stallionlike.>Stepping outside onto your porch you sat down on your chair and started to think to yourself: It's the strangest thing you’ve been here for only really a few months yet you managed to save up enough cas-bits to afford a house. It’s a bit on the smaller side considering your size but hey having somewhere to sleep is much nicer than bumming off book smart forever.>Christ it was annoying trying to live by yourself at first since most of the little ponies here thought purple nurple kicked you out and were forcing you to fend for yourself. >You probably sounded like a battered housewife trying to tell them that she didn’t make you leave and you wanted to get your own place.
>>42945672>As you rocked back and forth in the chair you heard the snap of a branch being pulled back followed by hitting someone, you jumped out of your chair dropping the candy cigarette but as you were on edge you soon heard a familiar voice.>”Owwww-Don’t cry, Applebloom fillies don’t cry.” stifling a laugh you walk over to the bush you heard your mystery guest hiding in who also seems to be trying to hold back some tears from the sound of things.“Hello mysterious guest, do you want to stay hiding in the bush all day or actually tell me what you're doing here?” >The ‘bush’ responded back in a shaky voice. “Ah your ah sleepin that’s right! You should head on back home anony.” shaking your head you shove your hands into the bush you soon pull out an applebloom who seems to be as shocked as you are tired.>”Anony! What are you doing up so early and also in front of your house…”“I live here? Besides, what are you doing up so early? The sun hasn’t shown its ugly face yet.” >Applebloom seemed to take some offense struggling a bit in your grasp while you walked back to your chair. “Hey now just cause you're a stallion doesn’t mean you should say mean things!”“Oh yeah sorry about that I forgot the sun is a touchy subject. Still you haven’t answered my question. What are you doing at my house this late at night?” you sit down and place the tiny gang stalker on your lap.>”I was missin you.” She sounded defeated as she said it. “You ain’t come by the farm in a few days now and I missed hearing your stories.” “Sorry but I've been busy with work, kiddo. Listen, come back another day and I'll-.” >Before you could finish what you were going to say she practically shoves her face into your chest. “N-no just can I just stay with you at least until the sun comes back up please.” she looked up from being nuzzled in your chest with pleading eyes, fuckin cute ass ponies.“Sure you can but you have to tell me why you actually came here. Applejack's probably worried sick about you.” You’ve been oddly good at telling when she lies, granted she doesn’t lie much but when she does she looks like she ate something horribly sour.>”I had a nightmare again..”“Was it about the timberwolves?”>”Yes sir.” You started playing with her mane and thought back to the day she’s talking about. It was the same day you showed up in Equestria right after you woke up from that back alley beatdown.First time writing I'm so sorry if some of it sounds like shit but overall it's a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to writing more.https://ponepaste.org/11671
>>42945675>First time writing I'm so sorry if some of it sounds like shitnah it's good, setup's definitely interesting
>>42945675Not bad. Some typos here and there but it's greentext, who cares.I'd say there's a bit of meandering before getting to the 'hook' of the story but if you want to shoot for a slower-paced story, then absolutely go for it.Don't worry about the quality too much just yet, you ain't gonna write your magnum opus the first time around. Just continue writing (and reading!) and you'll get better at it.
>>42945675>”What if a colt or filly caught you smoking? They might pick up on your bad habits!”>Next scene instantly introduces a fillyApplejack is going to have a word with anon once Applebloom picks up a bad habit.
>>42946125But she's cooler now!
>>42945389Cherry berry is here to help.
>Be prince anon>Sitting at day court with your mom>Two noble stallions are arguing about who wore same matching bow tie first>Mom tries to solve this as a friendship problem>You got to pull one of your move to get them to stop and get the line going"Those bow tie are out of season anyway, why not wear a tie.">Both stallion stop and looked at you>They look at each other and started talking about the latest tie in season>Another problem solved in this backward world.
>>42945675>First time writing I'm so sorry if some of it sounds like shitHave a (you) for actually putting your stuff out there, better than myselfParaphrasing what others said: practice makes prefect. Just continue doing it and you'll steadily improve
So anyone know the best way to win a stallion heart?
>>42947319Unsolicited clam pics
>>42947319Acepromazine
>>42947319If it's one of them humans, banana bread. Go get them mare.
>>42947476>banana breadI hate that this would work on me
Would you let a noir detective mare ramble about how your foal chasing legs could melt a cheese sandwich from halfway across the room?
>>42946578>t. didn't get the reference
>>42947534Does she want me to make her a cheese sandwich?
off topic and a bit late sorta but>>42942329i wouldnt know good, but the junk food i like would beTeisou Gyakuten Sekai, world of reversed gender rolls Mugen Mousou, Teisou Gyakuten Abekobe Banashi| a tale of reversed gender roles, girls und panzerA Parallel World with a 1:39 Male to Female Ratio is Unexpectedly NormalRebirth of the Emperor in the Reverse World, Chinese.Dungeon Shima de Yadoya wo Yarou! - Souzou Mahou wo Moratta Ore no Hosoude Hanjouki.lost interest in it but, even if its edgy the "need to hide my boner" was peak in: Virgin Knight: I Became the Frontier Lord in a World Ruled by WomenDanjo-hi 1:5 no Sekai demo Futsuu ni Ikirareru to Omotta?: Gekiomoi Kanjou na Kanojo-tachi ga Mujikaku Danshi ni Honrou Saretara, not as horny as the 1:39 one that has a adults only version but still pretty ok.im dreaming of a story inspired by bits and pieces. trying to cobble it together, not really the imaginative myself but after reading here for ... however long its been, id like to give back one day.slim pickings for men/colts, but not so bad that everyone is throwing themselves at anon, the new local ayyylmao. ponies that are dtf are actually kind of degenerate freaks and we slowly learn why the rules are the way they are. im trying to get the balance just right. yes you can get laid, but the threat of just getting SWOOPED or whatever variant of kidnapped and >rapped is always there. something bigger than just a small oneshot.im baking but. not fast enough that i can throw the crumbs out each thread? lol not quality enough to be prose and not short enough to be a greentext slamfire. such a hellish world. maybe a harem/herd? but im not sure. self improvement anon tries to get laid but not in a skanky way. pinkie pie is a THREAT/TREAT both a pink meringue and mmenace kek, trying to offer treats to our little lardass as he tries to lose the weight.
>>42947808>Danjo-hi 1:5 no Sekai demo Futsuu ni Ikirareru to Omotta?: Gekiomoi Kanjou na Kanojo-tachi ga Mujikaku Danshi ni Honrou SaretaraWhy is it that 90% of manga use their elevator pitch as the title?
>>42947866Somehow, the Japanese are even lazier than Americans and can't be bothered to read the summary, so they made the summary the title.
>>42947866because somehow less is more and more is lesswith the 1k look a-likes, you end up with a world of grey on greyeverything looks the same
>>42947808how do you dip into wish fulfillment without it sounding like an average HFY story.or some of Trash's HMFA stories.writing is fucking hard.cant even spell fucking fulfillment off hand without spellcheckfuck me
>>42947866 (cont.)>p7They're talking about implementing polygamy. Future tense. That doesn't make much sense, unless the 1:5 sex ratio is recent.For 1-1 pairings, you would need to have each married woman have at least 6 children, otherwise your population is collapsing. In times where infant mortality is higher, you would need something like 10-15 each, with the corresponding risk to life and health that brings. Men would already have 3-4 wives as a normal thing. nitpick nitpick nitpick
>>42946303>she starts hiding them in her bow>her face when she's nodding at Granny and they tumble out
>>42948028those are some fucked up numbersat some point your just breeding stock until the problem goes away, not even in a kinky way. humping every girl is time, and just turkey basting is way faster.poor anon, dragged away into a cellar to just breed endlessly for the tax breaks and state mandated goth gf
>>42948124Do you think Granny would make her smoke them or just get on her behind for it?
>>42945675>At first you thought you were dead since you didn’t feel that pain in the back of your head anymore followed by waking up in what looks like a Louisiana swamp. Maybe the guys who beat you down expected you to get eaten by alligators but if that was the case why not throw you in a river?>All those questions aside you explored that forest and found it at worst annoying because of the bugs and humidity then as you smashed one of those weird round bug things that kept following, you heard a scream in the distance.>Two thoughts rushed into your mind one being great you might be near some form of civilization the second thought being oh great the people you're more than likely going to meet is some slack jawed yokel who by the sounds of it might be eating someone or being eaten.>Well if they were eating anyone, maybe they’ll be full now and won’t eat you. Taking that risk you began running towards the screaming if you were lucky maybe the hillbilly died and left his truck’s keys somewhere. >To your surprise when you kept running you found a scene out of a national geographic episode, wolves encircling a tiny baby horse. However the wolves that you were used to seeing were made out of meat and these ones seemed to be made out of sticks. >You were about to turn to leave the baby horse to their fate but something kept nagging at you from leaving. Maybe it was seeing the baby animals in those shows getting eaten or maybe there was a conscience inside of you just really deep down.>Checking your suit pocket you found your lighter, some brass knuckles and a flask not really a survivalist's wet dream but you're creative if nothing else. Grabbing a nearby stick you look around for something flammable you could wrap around the stick like someone's t-shirt that they left behind or anything. >No dice though, then you looked at your suit’s sleeve ‘Is it really worth ruining a 3000 dollar suit for a dumb horse?’ as you battled with yourself internally you looked over at the little horse again to see it being snapped at and backed into a corner.>Fuckitwe’lldoitlive.mp4>Ripping the suit’s sleeve you wrapped what you could around the stick then doused it in whatever you had left in the flask and lit it up with your lighter. Now the only question was how were you going to get there since it was a bit of a drop all things considered.>No normal steps down, can’t really climb down since you're only using one hand and it might be a bit too slow since those things are getting really close. Jesus, are you seriously considering jumping off a cliff to protect a dumb animal? >Oh look at that your legs are already moving, it seems your brain didn’t get the heads up but the rest of you did since by the time you realize what you did you see those 3 wolves looking up in horror seeing an ape midair while carrying a stick of fire screaming at them.(1/5)
>>42948127I was talking about the women.At 1:5, a couple has to make up for the 2/3 of the population that isn't reproducing. (Assuming that you don't have 60%+ of children born to single mothers. Ask the black community how that works out.) The married woman needs to be pregnant all the time, or else it's like limiting couples to only one child irl. (Ask china how that works out.)
>>42948142>Once you did land you managed to stay up right absolutely shattering the fuck out of your ankle. Once face to face with these things you realize they’re a lot bigger than you thought but you're in too deep gotta commit.“AHRAGHSHDAWERHRSA!” >Not really words per say but good enough Anon, ape rage seems to not only help confuse them more but scare them since you also start swinging the torch around like you're trying to bash in someone’s head.>The wolves whine as you begin to limp forward screaming more unintelligible things then they make a break for it running deeper into the woods. Leaving you alone with a sprained ankle, an oddly colorful horse and a stick on fire.>If this is what you get for trying to be the good guy maybe this type of shit wasn’t for you after all your suit now has a tear in it and god knows when you’ll find a good tailor who wouldn’t charge an arm and a leg.>Looking back at the horse it was laying on the ground cowering in fear covering its face with its hooves.>”Please don’t eat me Mrs.Monster I don’t taste mighty good!”>The horse just spoke. Checking yourself over once you're pretty sure you haven’t had a stroke and you sure don’t feel dead. Furthermore the pain in your foot is pretty real so this can’t be a dream either.>Oh shit it’s looking up at you now, oh god it looks like it’s about to start crying, say something.“I’m not hungry.”>What the fuck was that Anon? >The baby horse still looks scared you can do better than that.“I’m not going to eat you I promise, scouts honor,” You’ve never been in the scouts before but that doesn’t mean you can’t use their good name to your advantage. >The little horse looked like it wasn’t going to cry anymore but still looked terrified of its own shadow.“C-can you help me home?” You debated on what to do since none of this made sense, the wolves made of wood, talking animals also why did she call you Mrs.? Then you looked at her again and she was still shaking like a leaf.>You weren’t a nice person. Not by a long shot you’ve scammed folks, robbed people, lied, cheat, stole, etc doing good things wasn’t in your nature. In another life you probably would have left her there to fend for herself since you gotta look out for numero one.>At least that’s what you keep telling yourself while you pet this tiny pony until you feel the warm sunlight hit your face. None of it felt real walking into this town of ponies, then finding out aside from humans not existing the gender roles were also reversed here. (2/5)
>>42948139>Would Granny Smith make Apple Bloom smoke a candy cigarette?Probably. The old nag seems like the kind of troll who would do that.
>>42948146>For the first few days you expected to wake up to reality in a swamp or tied up in a chair in a Chinese restaurant's backroom or even expected not to wake up at all. It never came though you're still here making a new life trying to be decent.>That’s enough reminiscing for today you’ve gotta get ready for work soon. Thank god for Mr.Cake he took pity on you when you were asking around for work plus you're pretty sure he’s paying you a bit extra something about stallions looking out for stallions.“Alright the sun’s up you need to get home.” You start to nudge her to move but realize that not only did she fall asleep on your lap she seems to have latched onto you as a sort of safety blanket.>You really should wake her up since knowing the little shitheels at her school might see this and tease her about falling asleep in some stallion's lap. On the other hand she looks so peaceful that you don’t really want to wake her up and ruin this.>As you have this internal debate with yourself you see Applejack walking up your little pathway at first with a concerned look on her face but once you lock eyes with her she seems to calm down.>“Mister Anon I am so sorry about her bothering you again I’ve been trying to talk to her about not waking stallion durin their beauty sleep in all but-” You put a hand up and wave her over to you.“It’s fine Appletrax, I don’t mind her coming over when she needs to. I just didn’t want you worried about where she ran off to.”>”I’d wish you call me by my right name Mister Anon.”“And I’d like it if you dropped the mister title.” she frowned at you saying this.>For some ungodly reason you and Applejack have been at odds since you’ve been here not like you're at one another’s throats but rather you try to steer clear of her because she’s the embodiment of honesty and you're a con man.>She’s very adamant about you being a great influence for Applebloom and someone who she can trust to be around her sister but time and time again you try to explain to this dumb little pony that she really shouldn’t put all her trust into you since she doesn’t really know you.>As you two are preparing to argue about ‘trust and honesty’ again, you feel something stirring in your lap and you both watch as Applebloom raises her head up slowly, blinking and looking around.>”Good Morning sugarcube did ya sleep well?” Applejack giggled while Applebloom looked around and soon shock and embarrassment seemed to take over. She quickly hopped off your lap and tried to stand straight up.>”I ah don’t know what ya mean! Let’s go home!” Applebloom turned her head and gave you a polite bow before she started running on the path back home.>”I’ll catch up with her in a second, I just wanted to thank you.” She looked towards the direction Applebloom ran off too and shook her head smiling.(3/5)
>>42948149“Thank me for what?” You don’t feel like you did anything special. All you did was sit in your chair and pet a pony that’s not really praise worthy.>”I know Applebloom talks to you about her nightmares. Celestia knows I've tried to help her but it seems you do something and she feels all better so thank you.” You're getting a bit choked up here.“That’s very kind of you-” >”I’ve even asked Twilight and she mentioned something about paternal DNA? Something about it running in stallion’s of every species. Either way I just wanted to thank ya for being there for her. She ain't the most mareish filly but she’s tryin her best.”>You don’t know whether to be annoyed because she ruined a tender moment or laugh either way fuck these gay little ponies for making you care.“Thanks Applejack.” With that she tipped her cowboy hat and began her own walk home. With that done you stood up stretched and walked back inside.>You still had a few hours before work so for now you could sit back relax and not worry about any more interuptio->KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!>Jesus christ whoever was at your door either was dying or you owed serious money to. Actually that second part did scare you a bit so going to a window you peeked open the blinders to see who it was and low and behold purple the 8 pages is standing at your door looking agitated.>Opening the door you're met with a tsunami of word vomit the likes of that the Japanese are still recovering from to this day.>”HI ANON SORRY TO BOTHER YOU BUT I NEED A FAVOR MAY I COME INSIDE THIS IS URGENT!” You managed to piece only that set of words together since the rest all mangled together like each thing she was saying kept tripping over one another.You were a bit weary about letting her in since right now she gave you that homeless crackhead who stabs you for your shoes vibe but she is a decent friend some days she pushes it sometimes but you can do her a solid and hear her out."Sure, come in, just sit down and relax, you look badshit insane.” While letting her in you walked into your kitchen and checked your fridge and grabbed an apple cider you planned on drinking later but instead put it on the coffee table in front of her she probably needs it more than you.She takes the drink and starts to down it faster than you could blink but it seemed to help since the hairs that were standing up seemed to fall back in line slowly.>“Thank you Anon, sorry if I scared you. I've been up all night trying to figure out what I’m going to do.” You tilted your head confused “Not trying to be a dick here but if your having a problem why not go to your friends I mean Applejack was just here a minute ago I could probably run and get-”(4/5)
>>42948153>”NO THEY CAN’T KNOW!” She shot up from sitting like she’d gotten a surprise colonoscopy and was inches away from your face. “Anon please you can’t tell them I need this to stay a secret!”“Christ in a handbasket, did you kill someone?” You very gently shoved the purple terror away from your face. It seems your question at least somewhat snapped her out of her spiral.>“No! No nothing like that, it's just.” She sighed heavily and looked you in the eyes almost pleading silently. “Can you promise not to tell anyone what I'm about to ask you?”>You felt like this was starting to get above your fictional paygrade. You don’t hate Twilight but getting involved in whatever this is sounds like it’s going to not only take your whole day but there's a good chance a friendship lesson is inbound and you sure don’t need to hear one of those.>On the other hand she’s been decent to you, she’s helped you get acclimated and let you bum in her castle for a while. Rubbing your temple you look at her and she’s got those puppy dog eyes and looking at it you knew your fate was sealed.“I promise I won’t tell anyone what you ask me here.” >”Thank you Anon.” She smiled once she had made her promise. Taking a deep breath she asked. “Can you be my date to the moonlight prance soirée?” >Taking a finger you make sure to clean your ear since you're pretty sure you misheard her. “Sorry I think I misheard you, could you say that again?” She looked more nervous but quickly spoke again.>”Would you be my date to the moonlight prance soirée? Please?” >So she did say that and you weren’t losing your hearing. Now the question is why you? It couldn’t be some weird power play thing of her flexing that she’s porking an alien or would it be called truffling here?>Either way that isn’t twiggles style if anything that would be skittles agenda but then if not that why you? I mean she’s a princess it can't be that hard for her to get a date with prestige like that? >Sure she’s not the greatest at speaking to stallions. I mean those self help books she pretends not to read definitely show that but still it can’t be impossible for her right?“I’m not saying no but I am curious. Why me? You're a princess after all, wouldn't it be easy to toss a stone in a crowd of stallions and pick from there?” >”I wouldn’t throw stones at stallions! But I should be honest with you about why I asked you at least.” You looked intrigued that she was planning on not saying anything until you asked this is out of character for her. (5/6)(I thought I could do it in 5 but the 3000 limit cucked me.)
>>42948155>Well from what you know about her I mean you haven’t shown your true colors to these little ponies and don’t plan to. You notice her taking a deep breath before she speaks.>”So me and Celestia were talking and she asked if I had found a special somepony yet and I didn’t want to say I didn’t so I lied but I was going to admit I was lying when I noticed she was so happy for me that I couldn’t admit what I said was wrong. Afterwards she invited me and him to the moonlight prance soirée saying that she couldn’t wait to see him and that was weeks ago and now I'm panicking because if I asked any other pony they might tell Celestia before I do and-”>Cutting her panicked ramblings you grab her face and look her in the eyes you hear her gasp but you have to do shit like this to stop her from spiraling since she’ll start going into every minute detail.“I think I got most of it so correct me if I get anything wrong but you lied to Celestia, need a fake date to also lie to her and you didn’t ask anyone else because you're worried they can’t lie to her right?” She nods her head in your hands “What makes you think I can lie to her? I mean she’s the pseudo-god? Eternal ruler? Whatever she is, she's pretty high up there and I'm just some dude. What makes me the best choice?”>”I-I guess you're right sorry for bothering you Anon.” She’s about to magic herself out of your grasp and leave when you tighten your grip ever so slightly.“Relax I didn’t say no I’m down to help you with this I just wanted to know why me? I mean wouldn’t she think something's up with you dating an alien?”>”She might congratulate me because you're an alien.” She says with squished cheeks. Releasing her cheeks you smile. You forgot that these little bastards, as cute as they are, can be deviants. “First things first, when's the soirée?”>”Tomorrow” she smiled nervously.“Tomorrow? You’re fucking with me right?” She just held that awkward smile she was doing before, taking a deep breath you sigh heavily. Might as well start looking into getting a new suit made since you still haven’t gotten around to fixing the old one and it still has stains of swamp water and blood.(6/6)(Thanks for all your kind words I appreciate you guys being nice and giving a new fag a chance I hope you guys enjoy it since I loved writing it.)
>>42948142>these ones seemed to be made out of sticksQuick! Get a pig to blow them down!Or, however that story went.>>42948158Interesting so far. There are so many ways for this to go wrong. I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I'm sure it will be an entertaining disaster.Will the rest of the mane six be invited to the party, or will it just be Anon and Twilight?
>>42948153>MAY I COME INSIDE^:)
>>42948523So forward with her demands~
Boop
>>42948575Dinner first.
>>42948575You need to stop booping the stallions, their now calling it rape.
>>42949546they're saying stare-rape is a thing now, dummyimagine taking anything a stallion says seriouslycouldn't be me
>>42949554>t. average stare-raping mare
>>42949611If Harmony had not intended for us to stare at balls, She would not have put them on the outside.
>>42949554>stare-rapeI thought only Fluttershy could do that, what changed?
>Rape?>anon I never raped you>you begged me to sleep with you after you heard me sing>c'mon, be a good boy and just listen to my voice
>>42949631stallionism met human feminism
>>42949636Doesn't work when your magic gem is broken moron.
>>42949636I wonder what she'd do if she met a deaf anon
>>42950078sonata would drown him in her tits while laughing at adagio for being flat
>>42950401Fish don't have tits silly.
>>42948146>“I’m not hungry.”Had me actually laugh in the middle of class
>>42944229I've written greens and posted bait before and let me tell you, the 4 or 5 yous I got from writing a green that took me several hours meant more than however many dozens I've gotten from weak bait
>>42950697true seeing even 2 people like a story somehow makes me smile for the whole day
>>42950697Making people mad is genuinely the only way to have fun around here these days.
>>42948158You're doing pretty good anon
>>42950762Now a days I can’t tell if the people being mad are just performing.
Raped my brother again. Couldn't help it, he's just so rapeable.>arguing about something petty and insolent as per usual>Tell him to stop it or else>"Oh what, you gonna rape me?" he says>I doI'm unsure if he's goading me on purpose now
>>42951564>CadenceOnly Chrysalis would spell Cadance's name wrong, you imposter!
keep getting raped by mares. feels bad.
>>42951619>Colt using the internetCringe if true
>>42951619>Prince>Stallion in politicslaughingstallions.scroll
>>42951624>>42951895Shut up I'm an alicorn and you aren't, dumb marecels. My voice matters!
>>42952274Make humans real and assign them to mares you dumb slut
>>42951564wait a minute are you doing this bit?cause if so, keep going
I can't believe that Celestia declared a war of liberation on humanity after diplomacy falled throughShe said that all human men taken from earth will be assigned to a mare/maresDo you gals think we could all be monodykes if enough humies get brought over here?
i pooped myself and it was the stallions who caused it we need to restrict their rights even more
>>42948158>Stepping out of your humble abode you now have 3 things you need to check off before tomorrow rolls around. First let the Cakes know you won’t be able to come into work tomorrow. The question is should you bother telling them the real reason or make up something.>Secondly get a new suit and try and maybe see if you can get the old one repaired even if you don’t wear it as often as you used to. It'd be nice to have the old girl looking new again.>Thirdly do some research about this party, you may not have frequently visited many fancy ‘soirée’s’ in your time but you know there's probably unspoken rules at these types of things so try and learn as much as you can.>The first thing you should do is probably head over to the fancy clothes store and see if Rarararara is willing to do a rush order since you’ll need this ready by today. She also might be the best per-pony to ask about this party.>The walk over to the boutique is uneventful aside from a few hello’s and hi’s from some of the town’s people, thinking back to that first day you arrived you remember how the ponies were terrified you were stealing Applebloom to eat her.>That was a fun day especially when you revealed that you were in fact a guy. Poor Applebloom went through so many ranges of emotions eventually culminating into embarrassment and apologetic since she kept thinking you were a girl monster that saved her.>You were ready to put boot to ass when you heard those little shits that dared her into going into the evil ass rape forest teased her for getting saved by a colt but thankfully some teacher pony stepped in and handled it much better then you would have.>Oh hey look at that you're already here, knocking on the door you heard a familiar voice in that elegant tone, “ah Anon is that you? Please come in.” >Letting yourself in you have a clear look of confusion on your face on how she knew it was you and once she sees you she has a small laugh before explaining. “Darling I told you that you need not knock, this is a business after all.”“Yeah but you still live here it feels strange not to knock.” >”Do you knock when you enter Sugarcube Corner?”“No but-”>”Then you need not knock when it’s me as I said my door for you is always open darling.”>You really don’t know how these ponies don’t get their kindness taken advantage of. If someone like her existed back home, you probably would have robbed her blind. Now you feel guilty about what you were going to ask her.>”Is there anything I can help you with Anon?” “I need a new suit and if you might be able to could you try and fix up my old suit.” You awkwardly dug your foot into the ground holding out your previously white suit.>”It’s not problem darling I can get it done by-”“I need it before tomorrow.” After saying that she looked a bit taken back.(1/3)
>>42952401>”Tomorrow? Are you attending something?” You promised Twiggles to keep this a secret from her friends and honestly you do get it, if people back home heard you pretended you had a date and begged some girl to be your fake date you’d never hear the end of it.“Eh, sort of basically the cakes asked me to attend some fancy party and do some advertising for them. They’ve been really good to me so I agreed but I realized now I need a suit and maybe some help.”>”You truly are one of a kind Anon, what's the name of the party?” She began to take out a sewing tape and start wrapping it around your waist while you spoke.“The moonlight prance?” as you said that you felt the tape tighten around your waist slightly followed by a shocked gasp.>”You're attending the moonlight prance soirée!? That’s wonderful Anon. I've heard that event is the bee’s knee’s! You know, not even some of the highest ranking Cantalot nobles were given an invite, apparently only the princesses themselves handed out the invites so this is once in a lifetime opportunity!”“Wow, I must be the luckiest guy ever.” Fuck my life.>”I can absolutely get a new suit ready for you and if you’d like I can make it fit the colors of the soirée as well. However I don’t think I'll be able to fix your old suit by tomorrow so I apologize.” She seemed a bit disheartened with that last bit.“Rarity you’ve already done a ton with making me a new suit from scratch more than I could even ask for, don't worry about fixing it up if you don’t have time.” Taking the little pouch you had at your side you began to take out some bits when you felt some magic try and put the bits back.>”You don’t need to pay me Anon. I enjoy working on clothes especially for new models such as yourself. My reward is your presence.” “Please I insist beside Mr. Cake gave me the money to get a suit anyways plus you're doing me a huge solid.” You hand over a good portion of the bits in your pouch. >She takes it albeit begrudgingly. You knew if you didn’t lie she wouldn’t have taken the money from you since last time she did the same thing when you had clothes made for you and you still held some guilt about it.“I should get going since I still have to head to work but thanks again.” As you begin to leave you stop yourself and decide to have a little fun ra’s a good pony she works hard she deserves something to brag about.>You take her gently by the face and plant a small kiss on the cheek and it seemed your kiss didn’t go unappreciated since she seemed to be a whole new shade of pink. (2/3)
>>42952406>Leaving the boutique you head on down to the Sugarcube Corner to begin your shift and figure out what your excuse for taking the day off tomorrow is going to be. Thinking back on that kiss you didn’t have too much of an issue with it as you thought you’d have. Are you going native?>Pushing those thoughts away you find yourself standing at the door of Sugarcube Corner you can smell the scent of freshly baked pastries, opening the door you're a bit surprised to not see anyone at the front.>Then you hear the sounds of struggling, shuffling and grunting digging into your pockets you quickly slip on the brass knuckles you managed to keep hidden from the ponies here.>Apparently stallions aren’t allowed to own weapons or was it just frowned on? You can’t be bothered to remember right now since that was months ago when you first asked about it and it was mostly idle chatter then anything.>That doesn’t matter now though since if someone is robbing this place they picked the wrong time this gig was too sweet to pass up. Your bosses like you, the pay is good and you don’t really have to do much except be nice.>You creep ever closer to the source of the noise, hearing it get louder and louder until you find the closet it originated from and right as you prepare to open it up and get ready to slam someone you heard a moan.>”Put another bun in my oven you-”>You had your hand right on the handle but you took it off very quickly and as quietly as you could and snuck back to the front of the shop.>Once there you found a chair next to one of the tables and sat down rubbing the sides of your face trying to not think about your bosses in the other room trying to make more twins.>After 5 or so minutes passed you heard the sounds of hoofsteps coming so in the interest of not embarrassing your bosses and having them wonder if you heard them you stepped outside and waiting a little bit you entered back into the store.(3/4)(I hate the 3000 character limit.)
>>42952409>”Good morning, Anon you're in earlier than I expected.” Mrs. Cake had a goofy smile on her face not hiding her own satisfaction.“Well I actually did need to ask you guys something but I take it Mr. Cake is sleeping in?”>”Y-Yes he is, you know stallions need their beauty sleep.”“Well I’d hate to wake him up so I guess it’s alright if I ask you but would it be possible if I had tomorrow off? I know it’s a bit late but-”>”Of course you can, Anon I’ll let Mr. Cake know you’ll be off tomorrow." She responded with no hesitation.“Aren’t you the least bit curious to know why?” Why are you asking this? You just got the greenlight to take off work tomorrow, don't trip yourself at the finish line.>”You're a good pony er person? Either way you’ve been a lot of help here. If Mr. Cake was here he’d say the same thing if you need the day off to do whatever stallions do then I think we can survive.”“Thanks Mrs. Cake.”>”However Mr. Cake might be interested in knowing, I know how you colts like to gossip.” She gives a small laugh and turns to head to the back of the store.(4/4)(To the Anon's reading this thank you for all your kind words they mean the world. Sorry this one took a bit longer to come out I've started college so it might take a little bit longer but I don't intend to stop.)
>>42952416>ywn get pounded unconscious by your cakewifewhy live
>>42952629I guess that's why they call her Mrs. Cake
>>42952629ucu
>>42952347fake news, they shut down the portal years ago
>>42952365>Luna inventing the first ever shitpost.
>>42953250>Luna prays to any and all gods that might exist that in the 1000 years she was gone, ponies forgot why outhouses have a crescent moon carved into their doors
>>42953587Discord will always be around to keep the dream alive.
Prince anon got foalnapped by a dragon.Are you a brave enough mare to save the prince?
>>42954164Like that slut didn't let himself get kidnapped.
>>42954222nice trip but there no way the prince wanted to be foalnapped.He's alway with a royal guard every time he goes to Canterlot street for some shopping.
>>42954164Further reports says that some greedy griffons have just snatched the prince from the dragon.
>>42953587>>42953789can these ancientfags triforce?
>>42954699New reports says that some sirens scooped up the prince from dumb griffons when they got distracting arguing over a bit.
>>42954164Why should I care about some nohands slut coltoid?
>>42952416>Giving a wave to the happy couple you close the door behind you and once a good enough distance away you groan loudly. >Work itself wasn’t bad. You liked seeing and even talking to some of the ponies, you were used to the occasional weird comment but that wasn’t what had you rubbing your temple. >Mrs. Cake wasn’t wrong most of your shift was spent trying to appease Mr. Cake with gossiping he asked what you’d be wearing, who you're going with, what color shoes you planned to wear with the color of the outfit?>At first you were worried about telling him so you told a half truth that you got invited by the princesses because of your alien status. Surprisingly that was the least important thing to him; he cared more about how you’d dress and act.>You did manage to learn something about the dance from him you found out that this was a recently made event and it was made for someone called Luna, she’s the princess of the night you remember faintly the history lesson twilight taught you but aside from her being blue and sisters with Celestia that’s all you can really remember about her.>Cutting your thoughts short you finally reached Rarity’s place you prepared to knock but stopped yourself and instead let yourself in. Walking inside you see a beautiful dark blue suit with stars littering it, some even making constellations.>”I believe I outdid myself once again but I’d love to hear your opinion darling.” you turned to see rarity coming down the stairs smiling at her work.“I don’t know what to say, this is amazing. Thank you.” >“Of course darling it was my pleasure working on clothes for you is always a treat.” “Do you mind if I try it on?”>”Please be my guest.” With her permission you gently take the suit and pants and even just feeling the outfit you realize how high quality the fabric feels. Something like this probably might have matched your suit in price or even beat it out twice fold.“You mind turning around while I change?” She gave a small gasp realizing her mistake and quickly spun around giving you some privacy.1/3
>>42955504>Slipping into the suit the first thing you notice is how well it fits you, not too loose and snug enough to not have any hanging or loose ends. “How do I look?” Rarity turned to look back at you.>”Simply ravishing darling! How does it feel? I hope it’s not too tight. I tried to adjust the suit to your unique form.” She started to float a mirror over towards you allowing you to really appreciate it.“It’s perfect you’ll hear no complaints from me.” you give a small flex testing to make sure nothing rips.>”I’m happy to hear that however dear I do have a question if you would mind answering it for me.” “Shoot.”>”Do you know anything about the pony of the hour?” “Yeah her name is Luna she’s the sister of Celestia and uh she’s blue.” You tried to sound confident with your answer but it’s clear she wasn't buying it.>”Yes, while true there's a bit more to her, I ask since if you're going to be catering she might come up to you and speak to you and I wanted to warn you about her in advance.” You raised an eyebrow.“Warn me?”>”Sorry that may sound a bit more rude then I meant what I wanted to say is she’s a bit intense. She's old fashioned. Sometimes she says things that lack ah how do I say? Tact?” “What is she racist?”>”Racist?”“Or is it specist here?”>”No! No. I don’t think she is at least, she just has very controversial thoughts about stallions. It's complicated, she seems like a nice pony, just sometimes a bit rough around the edges.” “Well it can’t be that bad she’s the princess of the nation I’m sure she can control herself for one night right?” Rarity just gives you a smile similar to one you’d see a doctor give to a child with a terminal disease.
>>42955508>Be the princess of the night, the one who fought countless battles alongside your sister uniting the 3 tribes due to your strength and your sister’s diplomacy. >You’ve slain dragons that rival the size of a small village, packs of timberwolves that could classify as a small army and even defeated the lord of the chaos Discord with your sister’s help of course. >However you face a battle worse than any of those before you’ve never been one to flee from a battle that is the way of the coward, however you're considering breaking this honor bound rule of yours.>”We’re having this party and that’s final sister. You need to start associating with other ponies outside of the castle. It's not healthy to sit inside all day and do nothing.”“How dare you! We don’t just sit inside and do nothing, we enter the dream realm and fight nightmarish creatures helping our dear citizens rest easy.” >”I had some of the maids of the castle watch over you and they told me how you sat in the same spot for hours watching ponies walk by and made rude comments about them.” “The ponies today have no backbone! Especially the stallions nowadays if you even give them a wrong glance they turn away in fear as if we had struck them. If they could even experience what their foremothers had to deal with-”>”This is what I meant dear sister, you have to come to terms that the world is changing. I love you and I want you to be by my side again but you have to accept that things change and by extension ponies as well.”>You grew silent, you wanted to snap back at her and say how the world is changing only due to weakness taking hold but you stopped yourself. This wasn’t coming from your sister with any ill intent you knew as such but it’s hard to accept this new reality.>”Please dear sister give this event a chance, maybe you’ll make a new friend who could help you acclimate to things.” Your sister always was a stickler for this friendship ideology you remember when she first mentioned it during the conquest of the tribes.>It was such a ridiculous notion thinking that these ponies could unite together. They hated each other longer than they had written language but somehow your sister did it she managed to convince the tribes that uniting as one was a wondrous idea.>Maybe it was that feeling of inadequacy that made you fall down that dark path of Nightmare Moon or maybe it was the desire for war you once held. Whatever the case, you know that you must try not to fall into it again.>If not for yourself for your sister she’s trying everything she can to help you and pushing her away is what lead to your fall from grace.“Alright dear sister we agree to attend this soirée and will attempt to find companionship amongst the ponies of it.”>”Thank you Luna.” 3/3
As a human, I am going to put on my extra long socks and wear shorts when I go out now.
>>42955571Make sure the shorts are a size too small.
>>42955698I did, I'm gonna walk through Ponyville now
>>42955737>Local human ends up snuggled by all his neighbors in the middle of town>More at page 3
>legga
>>42955813This reporter can confirm, will try to get a one on one interview.
>be Brave Heart>"Stop buttons mashing.">when you heard that prince anon got foal napped by a dragon, you knew that no noble mare or guard would risk their fur to save him>"Then stop picking the OP characters.">You told the princess you will save the prince with no reward requested>She told you to get him some snack on the way here>"Their not OP, you just suck at this game">so you got him a dozen doughnut for him to eat after you save him>When you got to the dragon lair ready to slay her, she greeted you and took the doughnuts and brought it to the prince and her hatchling who are playing the an old fighting game on the crystlecube>"Ha take that you scaly">"fuck you living tinder">turn out it was their play date that the princess and the dragon scheduled.>So you're just sitting in their 'living room' with tea in your hooves>"It's so nice seeing Cinder playing with someone else around her age and not on the crystal computer""Y-yeah>you hope your moms don't find out about this.
>>42956479darling
>Fondles Lighthoof's ass
>>42955511please continue, I hope that spaghetti with marecel Twilight and sexist Luna is going to be pretty damn goodchecked
>>42956479Now to play Mare Kart and see the flames really fly.
>>42955511>Chud Luna
>>42955571That won't get you married. Just raped because you tease mares.
>>42957451The plan is to tease them. Maybe I should secretly grope them aswell
>>42957508Please don't. You don't want your hips to hurt, don't you?
>>42957508You're like a monkey playing with the tiger's tail.
>10The lady will be mighty upset fellas.
>>42955511The Moon Princess is the savage mare from the past that the future needs.
<--- Dreaming about stallions losing all their rights like the good old days
>>42958799She was still single then too.
I can't believe that prince anon is dating a fucken Zigger.We need to remove all Ziggers and save prince anon from them.
>>42959380The one from Ponyville? The only one in the entire country? How!? She lives in the middle of the woods.
>>42959600We can't let her ruin prince anon innocents.Go get your friends and a bunch of pitchfork and torches. We are going to kick that zigger out.
>>42958799>>42959052>Luna acting like one Stallion putting his hands on her face and saying "I love you." won't send her back to her sunhat tipping days.
>>42959888cannot argue with trips>t. luna
I hate hippogriff/seapony stallions so much.Pick a race you stupid fucks and not a seapony you don't have a dick to pleasure mares with.
>>42960317>she doesn't know
What level of rgre do you guys like in your stories? Like a 1950's inspired rgre or medieval rgre etc.
>>42960647If we're going with the culture of the show, it would be like 1920s America.
>>42960647this >>42960663 + Luna being medieval like hell
>>42960663 (cont.)It's the males as the rebellious sex, in RGRE.It give "flappers" a different connotation.
>>42955511>Hey hey people Anon here you're currently sitting on a train trying to tune out the encyclopedia dramatica next to you. You tried to pay attention at first but once she started going off about chief slap-ahoe you drifted off to other things.>Your eyes wandered off but caught something off in the distance, ivory towers with golden spires that looked like they were ripped straight from a fairy tale. You’ve been to big cities but something like this doesn’t even come close to those.>You aren’t sure for how long you stared but it had to have been a while since before you realized it the train came to a stop. Looking over it seems Twilight was watching you the whole time smiling.“So when do you plan to tell Celestia the truth?” >”Well, running through all the possible scenarios in my head if I told her before or during the party it might ruin the mood of it but if I wait until the end when every pony goes home I can tell her the truth.”“So you plan to lie to her the entire time during the party?” Saying this you notice the unease on her face grow.>”Yes? No? Anon, maybe we should go home. I don't know if I can do this. What if she gets mad and doesn’t want me as her student anymore? What if she decides to banish me or-!” “Easy girl,” you wrap an arm around her trying to calm her down. “One little lie isn’t grounds for crucifixion besides everyone lies about something. I'm sure Celestia herself has lied before at the very least you plan to admit your lying.”>While you hold onto her she seems to stop freaking out but still seems nervous about something since she seems to take deep breaths like she’s huffing in something. Might just be a breathing exercise.>”Maybe you're right I’m just nervous about disappointing her.” Her ears drooped like a dog.“Relax, I know I’m right. Besides, think about it like this if she’s disappointed now imagine how she’ll feel when you actually find the right one and bring him home.” 1/4
>>42961020>Taking another deep breath you catch her smiling at you. “Thank you Anon I don’t know what I’d do without you.” you feel a small sense of warmth after she says that. “Look at me I’m relying on a colt to help me with my feelings when it should be the other way around.” >It takes self control you didn’t know you had in you to not pinch her right now but instead you decide against it since you have a better punishment for her.“Well before we head to the castle how about we get something to eat since I doubt they’ll have anything I can eat there.”>”Sure that’d be great, we still have some time to spare, where do you want to go eat?” You grin hideously as if the devil himself sat on your shoulder.“How about that griffon place I read up on while on the way here? I heard they have some great burgers.” Twigs and sticks always was sensitive to meat; her wings would scrunch up and she’d try to use magic to mask the scent.>”Well maybe? But are you sure you want to go there? I mean I’m sure there's another place that sells something you could eat.” Time to bring it home, Anon.“Aw I guess I was really looking forward to trying it since I don’t get to eat out at many places since it’s hard finding food I can safely eat. We can look somewhere else though.” Giving a fake deep sigh in the corner of your eye you could see the inner turmoil of her wanting to be a gentlemare.>”I guess we can go there, can we order out however?” “Of course we can find somewhere nice to eat afterwards. You know the city so you can show me around.” You’re an asshole not a monster.“Now let's head out.” Saying this you lift purplesmart off her hoofs and begin carrying her under your arm. >”Anon! Put me down, ponies are watching us.” she tries to wiggle out of your grasp but you hold steady.“It’ll be faster this way. I see how slow you ponies walk. All you gotta do is be my little gps and tell me where to go.” She tries using her wings to slip out of your grasp and you use your free hand to pin her wings down.>As you do you hear a small moan come from her after. Reacting very calmly you put her down and raise your hands in a surrendering motion. “My bad..”2/4
>>42961021>”Anon you look amazing.” You smile giving the suit one last look over making sure it wasn’t wrinkled anywhere“Thanks Twi nice dress by the way, did rarity make yours as well?” Her dress seems to match yours with stars littering it.>”Actually this is the same dress I wore at the Grand Galloping Gala. I didn't ask Rarity to make me a new one since I was worried she might ask where I was going.” You make an approving sounding noise, who knew twig was actually smart about not leaving any paper trails.>Walking up to the front gate of the castle Twilight pulls out some paper and hands it over to the guard. She looks at both of you, her eyes clearly lingering on you until Twilight coughs loudly.>”Sorry you're free to head inside, have a great night.” While walking by you swear you feel eyes still lingering on you. >”I’m sorry about some ponies Anon, some never learned it’s rude to stare.” You notice she started to walk closer to you, almost tripping you.“I don’t mind people looking besides you're here so I know I'm safe.” Giving her a small ego boost before the start of the party is a good call since she’ll probably be the target of every one of these ponies questions.>You don’t hear much from Twilight after that she's oddly quiet but anytime you try to look at her she seems to be looking elsewhere. Maybe she’s just nervous about this whole thing and you can’t blame her.>You're about to meet godx2 for the first time and lie to both her and her sister’s face. Hopefully they serve some booze since you need to lighten up with how heavy this feels. >Interrupting that last thought Twilight opens the doors ahead and before you is this giant ballroom with a fountain of two ponies spraying water out of their horns right in the middle. Around it are the obvious fancy noble types but what throws you off is the batponies.3/4
>>42961024“Twiggles you didn’t tell me bat ponies exist?” >”Batponies? Oh you mean the thestrals! I did tell you back on the train Luna was the one who actually helped smooth over their transition into joining what was early Equestria she defeated their tribe’s leader in ritual combat the battle between her and chief slap-ahoe was legendary.”“Sorry I must have dozed off during that.” Your eyes linger on the bat ponies and one of them takes notice of you and begins to whisper something to the others around her. Ah shit did you do something wrong? They’re walking over here.>”I take it your Miss Twilight, am I correct?” The thestral you were looking at earlier walked up with her whole gang behind her. >”Yes I am, it's nice to meet you, miss?”>”Ebony, Ebony Moon ma’am.” You hold back a laugh. Fuck if names could cut that’d be the one to slit a wrist.>”It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Moon. Are you enjoying the night as well?”>”As much as guarding our lady and her sister can be ma’am.” Oh these were guards not party goers that explains why they walked over to you since this is the first time they’ve seen or maybe even heard about you.>”I hope she’s doing well. Where is she? I haven't spoken to her since last nightmare night.” You notice a quick shift on the bat pony’s face quick enough that if you blinked you’d have missed it but that was a look of hesitancy.>”Lady Luna will be arriving soon; she's currently preoccupied with her current affairs.”4/4I hope you guys are having a great weekend! I do wanna let you guys know I might slow down with college starting up so I apologize if I don't post for some time I promise though I will finish this.
>>42961031kino is coming >I might slow downdoesn't matter as long as you eventually deliver
>>42961031Pick up the moon horse.
Due to yesterday riot of ten mare trying to kick out Zacora out of equestria and most being injured by the wild life of the everfree forest. those ten mare now must do one year of community services and are going be house arrest for six months.
>>42961031>thestralsDropped the story right there.
>>42961426She didn't even know they showed up in the forest.
>>42961031>Bat poniesI'm in I love those cuties.
>>42961429And the bat ponies will drop you.
Where is the Straw Berry mare?
>>42945675Keep at it, your good far better than me.
>unf, fuckable little humie teasing mares with his socks>must correct
>>42962807Maaan, I ain't even doin' nothin'..
>>42962807I’ll make you wear the socks.
Do not threaten mares with a good time.
Jesus fuck.>>42963390>>42963249
>be prince anon>Flurry Heart is over with her friend that kissed you while she was drunk>said friend is apologizing for her action constently>Equestria time has publish a pic of her kissing you one the front page>Activist all over Equestia went to protest agenst her action and trying to ruin her life unless she marry you or sent to prison.>You know the best way to save her from those protersters and her image as a "kiss rapist">you went to the balcony as see all the activist in front of Canterlot castle with mares and foals in the mix>you use the Canterlot voice that aunty lune taught you to address them"EVERYPONY, THIS YEAR SPRING FASHION IS GAY AND LAME.">the crowds was silent before started the demand you head on a platter>You head back inside and see Flurry Heart unimpressed while her's friend confused>something something rgre.
Weird question but does anyone have any rgre stories about a merc anon at all?
>>42963804The first one that comes to mind is Preunification Anon, but I don't remember if he was actually a mercenary in there.https://ponepaste.org/5508And it hasn't been updated in a long while
>>42963804I don't know if you'd work with a lot of ponies if you're in that kind of business.
>"STALLIONS could be here," she thought. "We have never afore been in this neighborhood. There could be STALLIONS hither and thither." The cool wind felt good against her bare coat. "WE HATE STALLIONS!" she thought.
>>42963526I do like the idea of an anon prince having to resolve trite crisis with banal machinations. Maybe Celestia and Luna were thinking of marrying him off to someone but they realized how many stupid conflicts he nips in the bud.
>>42963526I wonder how many times Anon has cranked his horse hog to the memory of the first mare to force herself on him
>>42964275Is she fueling her carriage by feeding the mares pulling it tavern food?
>>42963804I think their was one with some diamond dogs but I can't remember the name.
>>42964275She's free to love mares. Don't think anyone would care.
Saw this and thought, you know, if Anon had a son in RGRE, this is probably what you'd get. Human male libido mixed with stallion whimsy gets a colt incapable of not flaunting their body all the time.https://www.youtube.com/shorts/HpyFucOckkU
>>42937216>Dang it!>He got away again.>How does he even do that fancy trick of his anyway?
>>42965967>Weeb!Anon constantly escapes mares grasp in various anime tier ways
>>42965967Disguising herself as Applejack is an interesting choice.
>>42961031“Sister we have given it thought and decided against it. We shall retire to my room for the night, as we can not leave our poor citizens defenseless against the horrors of the night.”>”Luna, open this door before I take it down myself!” “Nay, we shall not and we implore you dear sister return to your ponies and attend to them as we shall be as well.”>”Don’t you say nay to me! You get out here now Luna!”“We say nay!” Be Luna the harbinger of the night currently locked in fierce battle with your sister. You thought yourself stalwart in the face of danger but this trial ahead of you is treacherous and fraught with peril.>”Luna I am seconds away from teleporting in there and dragging you out here by your tail. This party was meant for you! You even agreed to it!” Your sister’s words while true paint you in a horrid light.“I have reevaluated the current situation and believe that I am not fit for such a thing but this is your birthright! You are better suited for such a thing.” As you finish saying this you feel the magic behind your barrier falter for a moment and soon your sister is directly in front of you.>”We are going to that party and having fun now, come on.” Ow- ow ow! “Gentle sister! You're ripping mine tail off! We shall walk on our own, we promise on our honor as a gentlemare.” Your sister lets go of your tail and walks behind you awaiting for you to attempt escape.>”Please Luna I really just want you to at least go out there and socialize at most for maybe 10 minutes, then you can go back to your room but please at least try to talk to ponies.” Looking behind you again your sister’s eyes were disquietude.“We apologize dear sister, we just believe this to be a fool’s errand not many ponies in our nation truly speak to me in the same way they speak to you and it breaks mine heart.”1/3
>>42966405>”Then let's change that tonight.” As your sister says this you both make your way down the grandiose staircase and are met with a sea’s worth of eyes upon you and your sister responding back to those said eyes with the same courage you showed against chief slap-ahoe you began to speak.“Greeting our dear subjects, mine greatest apologies for the delay, the issues of the night never truly rest but we arrive now and sign such a night with our sanction may the moonlight prance soirée begin!” >The crowd stomps their hooves in approval and soon your eyes lock onto the strangest thing you’ve ever seen. Some mysterious creature standing nay towering over your little ponies they seem to be next to your sister’s apprentice. >”Oh my I think that might be Twilight’s date.” Looking over to your sister you see a smile befitting a proud guardian who would hold over their ward’s success. “What is that thing?” >”Well firstly it’s a he and from the letters I received his name is Anon and he’s a hyuman.” “A what? Hyuman? I’ve never heard of such a thing before nor have I seen one.”>”Apparently he’s from a world not of our own they offered to send him back but from what I heard he’s quite happy here.” “Hm I am unsure of such a creature, what if they are an invading force sent from the beyond attempting to acquire information upon us and prepare for an invasion. Wait, did you say he?”>”Yes there's quite a bit twilight has told me about Anon, granted most of her information has been from him but he’s quite a treasure trove of information.” >Unsure why your eyes refuse to move onto any other ponies in the room they seem almost gravitated towards this Anon. One side of you worried that maybe this creature was more than it let on and was the start of an invading force however the other knew that colts are ignorant creatures and thinking they could do much else then complain was derisible.>”I see you staring sister, why don’t I introduce you to him and it lets me ask Twilight about him.” You're about to voice your disapproval when she’s already pushed you forward with her magic alongside her.2/3
>>42966407>Be Anon currently at an unknown amount of drinks in, why? Well pony drinks suck ass compared to booze from your world takes a lot more to get wasted now that raises another question. Why are you drinking so much Anon? Well I’ll tell you why voice inside my head.>After your meeting with the popo you and Twilight started walking around talking to a bunch of ponies but all through out the night these fucking little horses have been taking digs at you.>They keep taking digs on how long your legs are and calling you a filly catcher. You're like 90% sure that means they're calling you a pedophile. At first you thought it was maybe a one time thing but Jesus every time you leave a group someone says it.>You haven’t told Twilight since you know she’s a good pony and she’d probably white knight the hell out of you and these coneheads aren’t worth it for now you just need to get through the night and you’ll never have to see those assholes again.>”Anon are you alright you’ve been drinking quite a bit?” Aww look she’s worried and shit.“Relax Spackle it takes a lot more to actually get wasted. I'm just enjoying myself and speaking of which I think you might need a drink soon.” She looked at you confused until she heard a familiar voice behind her.>“Twilight, how are you doing this wonderful night.” You watch as Twilight takes a breath and turns around trying to hide her nervous expression.>”Princess Celestia, I'm so happy to see you. I'm doing great and this is my totally real and definitely not fake coltfriend Anon!” The trio looks at you and attempting to look formal you give a half bow almost spilling your drink.>”Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Anon I hope this night has been fairing you and Twilight well.” “It’s been a nice night. Twilight sure is popular.” You take a sip and chuckle with Celestia following after.>”I am glad to hear that and please allow me to introduce to you my sister Luna.” As she says this looking over you see an albeit still tall but smaller blue alicorn. You also notice how her eyes seem almost glued to you not saying a word.>”Princess Luna, how are you doing? I haven't talked to you in a while.” Twilight tried to help lift Luna's eyes off of you and onto her.>”I am doing adequate Twilight Sparkle. We believe it has been approximately 164 days since our last communications and we quite enjoyed nightmare night.”>As she says this you and Twilight's eyes lock for a brief moment carrying confusion and concern to one another.>”I am sorry but I do need Twilight for but a moment Luna would you mind staying here and keeping Anon company until we return?” >”We shall hold here until your return dear sister and watch over Twilight’s beau until further notice.” >”Perfect, we shall return soon!” saying this Celestia teleports away with Twilight and soon leaves you and blue moon behind.“So uh your blue huh?”3/3
>>42966411Okay Luna, now just don't scare the bros
>>42966411She's blue and a little black.
>>42966411>this is my totally real and definitely not fake coltfriend Anon!oh Twiggy you spergy qt
>>42960317It's been bugging me for the past days, how would the hippogriff society be like within the RGRE setting? How would it differ from the seapony society? How would the ability to switch between influence interpermeability between the cultures, and what overall impact could this all have?Would those more vulnerable seek the relative safety beneath the waves or would there be a seasonal migration between the two sides of the realm? Would those spending most of their time underwater be seen as cowards or would those choosing to live mostly in the hippogriff form be seen as reckless or slackers?
>>42965834Kek that butt flash at the end. Little tart knows what he has.
>>42966411>pony drinks suck ass compared to booze from your world takes a lot more to get wasted nowExact opposite of my headcanon. Ponies are herbivores, so their alcohol tolerance is going to be impressive, almost Irish. Maybe they are strong, but Anon doesn't notice because of how sweet they are. Ponies also like sweets, so their booze might be like drinking (drugged) candy.
>>42967671I usually go with salty. Salt licks.
>>42966411>you and blue moonBro I bet like, um, I bet like mares LOVE when colts sing to them. If it were me I'd bust out>BOM BA BA BOM BA BOM BA BOM BOM DA DA DING DA DA DANG DING A DONG DING BLUE MOON BLUE MOON BLUE MOON>DODO DODODOD MOON MOON MOON MOON MOON DODODODOD
Lunch break almost over, you survive till im home now
>>42961031>I might slow down with college starting up>I promise though I will finish thisi said that same exact fucking line when i wrote The Preservation of Innocenceover 2 years later I wrote the latter half as a summary
>>42966411>>They keep taking digs on how long your legs are and calling you a filly catcher. You're like 90% sure that means they're calling you a pedophileholy fucking kek
>be princess celestia>your nephew prince anonymous is putting on a musical>you're glad that he's embracing some colty hobbies>you look at the flyer he gave you and read it>"The Day-Mare cometh" followed by "Day-Mare: fighter of the Night-Mare"
>>42968608Hey now, there's always the chance that he's taking a sociology degree.
>Be prince anon>Doing prince thing that are very boring>Like attending cousin Blue Blood's birthday>Which you're doing right now>It's nothing but noble stallion gossiping about other stallion or stallion things>You counted how much bunches of banana there are SIX TIME>The you hear the window smash and screams from the other stallions.>You look and saw burlap sack go over your head>Your being foalnapped and taken away from this boring party.>Who ever your foalnapper is, their getting a kiss from you.>Today going be a good day in RGRE.
>>42968950there are work meetings i've been at where I wish this would happen to meparticularly if it was a qt mare
>>42968950>"Huh, I imagined the prince would struggle more than none at all.">"Not that I mind it, makes my job so much easier."
>10live dammit
>>42969092>>42968950>trying to write ransom letter for prince you've kidnapped>he keeps rolling over it to make out with you
>>42967449I can imagine Anon and his mare wife having to pull Anon Jr from school and homeschooling him because he was making out with too many fillies... and teachers.
>Be Prince Anon>Not really though, since there was such a worry of the prince being kidnapped there were a number of mirror clones>Be one of the lookalikes>Having recently been snatched by some kidnappers they learned the hard way when trying to ransom you>"We've got the prince. If you want him back th- Hey, she hung up on me!">"Call her again.">"... Straight to voicemail."
>>42969092Meanwhile
>>42970081That seems kind of cold that the crown would just abandon you though
>>42966744This is Luna we’re talking about all she knows is how to scare the bros.
>>42970432>mirror clones
>>42970432To be fair it could be a changing since it’s probably easier to get a changing to work for you then a stallion.
>>42970623Have we ever considered that maybe Luna is afraid of the bros?
Mare these day don't know the best way to court a stallion, all they do is walk in front of them and show them the good.Now we have stallions accusing random mare of sexual assault when they did nothing at all.
I CAN'T STAND MARES THAT ARE EATING UP MY GARDEN. GO TO A CAFE AND EAT THE FLOWERS THERE.
>10>againguys where r u
>>42972009Doin your dad
>>42972009Studying, wishing I could be a househusband to 3 mares and stay at home.
>>42972039>t. picrel
Odd question but does anyone know why Ponepaste doesn't let people delete their paste's?
>>42972547So writefags can be reminded of how shitty their older greens are
>>42972553:( I just wanted to clean up muh ponepaste
>>42972371>extracting my tongue from my dream-apparition Nightmare Moon's ponut, carefully removing the muzzle with the initials "property of N.M.M." from around my snout, calmly trotting to the maximum length of the leash in my apparition's hoof, decorative golden attire jangling gently across the vaguely realized regal chambers>looking up at Luna's horrified face and asking if there is any *possible* way I could be of service to her highness?>no? then would it be too bold if I were to ask if this appeared to be a nightmare?>'to all except myself' a-ha, yes, quite the wit your highness truly>forgive the impropriety then but please *do* get the fuck out of my dream
>>42972547It would be antithetical to the purpose of the site, which was to save everything forever after losing so much to deletions. It prevents the content from being at the mercy of a site like pastebin nuking bins for horsesmut, or writers going into SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING crashout.
>>42972721Luna knew it wasn’t a nightmare, but still she wanted to see.
>>42970081>They call one more time>Luna answers>"Luna, we have the prince. If you ever want to see him again, arrange to pay us... A million bits.">"Put the young prince on the phone.">The kidnapper brings the phone to you"H-hey auntie Luna.">Luna doesn't say anything for long enough that you thought the signal had died>"You shall receive nothing from the crown, criminals.">"We're going to kill him if you don't pay up.">"So be it. You do not have the prince, you have a clone.">Luna hangs up>You turn to one of the nearest kidnapper mares"Are you gonna kill me?">They didn't say anything, but they had that look a pediatric oncologist gets when they have bad news for parents"Aw man..."
>>42973061>Not forcing him to do porn to then use as blackmail against the crownThe state of criminals nowadays
>>42973078Hey now there's an idea!
>>42973078At that point the market would be more profitable
>>42973378Certain mirror clones are more popular than others.
>>42973061One of the clones is a mastermind villain trying to capture Anon.
>>42974004I can imagine changelings and disgruntled clones both trying to replace Princeanon and constantly foiling each others plans while the original stays oblivious.
>>42966411>Hey your purple and an alicorn that must mean your name is Twilight and if you're Twilight then that explains why you're currently shaking like a leaf in the wind right now terrified of what’s about to happen.>”Twilight.” Snapping back to reality, you look at the princess, and she seems to be standing by the balcony, waiting for you to stand next to her. Not wanting to keep her waiting, you shuffle over, and when you do, you can see all over Canterlot.>”You know Twilight I’m grateful for you and your friends.”>You tilted your head, confused. Why is the princess mentioning this now?>”It’s because of all of you that I get to have my sister back.” She seems to take a deep pause before she speaks again. “I am worried for Luna. I fear that she might be isolating herself again.”“Princess, if there's anything I can do to help, please let me know.”>”Actually, that is one of the reasons I brought you out here. I have to ask you for your assistance, Twilight.” You watched as Celestia now, instead of looking out towards the city lights, looks to you. “I have been thinking of making Luna leave the castle and attempt to socialize with other ponies.”“Aren’t you worried she might think you're trying to get rid of her?”>”I am, and truth be told, I don’t want her to go, but I feel as though she’s only getting worse when she stays here and only has me to talk to.” You don’t remember the last time seeing Celestia this troubled.“Well, I wouldn’t mind having her come to Ponyville and stay a while. Maybe she does need a change in scenery since it did help me.” You try to smile and give a small nudge to Celestia, which in turn makes her crack a small smile.>”Thank you, Twilight.”>“Of course, princess, anything for you.” That sense of unease you had was finally gone. Maybe the rest of the night wouldn’t be so bad.>”Onto more happy news, how are you and Anon? I’ve been holding back from telling anyone in the castle the good news since I’m sure dating an alien is quite the hooful.” Oh no, that pit in your stomach is back and deeper than before.>”I know a gentlemare never kisses and tells, but have you gotten around to doing a full body inspection yet?” She nudges you and continues, “bumping flanks?” Oh dear Celestia, you have to tell her the truth.“P-princess, I have something to admit.”>“If it’s regarding his size, then worry not about sharing such a thing to me. While I appreciate the idea, I would never want to ruin the sanctity of your-”“Me and Anon aren’t dating!” You have to stop her now before she keeps going and murders you from embarrassment.1/2
>>42974359“I lied, princess, when you asked me if I had found a coltfriend and said yes when I didn’t.” You hung your head in shame, preparing for what comes next.>”Twilight?”“I was caught off guard when you asked me, and so I said yes without realizing it, and once I realized it, I was going to take it back and tell the truth, but then you said how proud you were, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell the truth until now.” You were starting to hyperventilate; your lungs were putting in overtime until you felt a gentle and soft wing wrap around you.>”I’m sorry, Twilight, I didn’t mean to put pressure on you. I was just asking because I wanted to know how you were doing. I enjoy reading about your friendship letters, but I also like hearing how you're doing as well.””It’s not your fault, princess, I’m just embarrassed. After all, I’m a princess, and yet.” You hold back from what you were going to say next. Once you tell her this, she might never look at you the same way. “I’ve never had a coltfriend before.”>”Twilight, is that all?” You raised your head, confused. “Twilight, I’m going to tell you something that I’ve only ever told my sister.”>”I haven’t had a coltfriend since I was in my two hundreds.”“What? You? How?” You then quickly slap a hoof over your mouth, realizing what you said and how unintentionally mean it might have sounded.>”It’s fine, Twilight. Dating is difficult, especially once you become a ruler, let alone an alicorn. Many stallions are very intimidated by ponies such as us.” Celestia chuckles while you do your best statue impression.>”What I’m trying to say is I asked you about finding a coltfriend since someday you might not be able to date as easily as you could before, like how it is for me and my sister.” When she said that last part, her voice trailed off.“What was your coltfriend like?”>”He was sweet for a time.” She paused. “He would make me breakfast in bed and even preen my wings. Then one night I caught him standing over me, attempting to steal my magic.” Celestia grew silent after that.“I’m so sorry, princess.” You put a wing out and pat her on the back.>”It’s fine, Twilight, it was so long ago I’ve forgotten his name. I just wanted you to experience love in the way I never got to.” 2/3Fuck the 3000 character limit.
>>42974361>It’s happening; you feel your eyes watering. Oh Celestia, no, you're about to start crying like a colt. Quickly, you hug Celestia, trying to both comfort her and yourself.>“Thank you, Twilight.”>The hug lasts for a time, but eventually you and her let go, and Celestia begins to speak. “I believe this was a great talk. Thank you, Twilight. We should return to the party and check in on how Luna and Anon are doing.”>With a bright light, you and Celstia are soon transported away and find yourself at the top of the staircase where Luna and Celestia came down from and made their announcement to the party.>Something is off, however. You notice the crowds of ponies that were once in their own individual groups now all huddled around something, and you share a look of worry and confusion with Celestia.3/3sorry this one is shorter then the others I promise the next one should be a lot longer then this and hopefully doesn't take too long.
>>42974368first off fuck i love your posts dude please keep writingsecond>Fuck the 3000 character limit.been there myself, what i do is i use https://wordcounter.net and then paste the whole thing in there, and select ~2700 characters worth of text and paste it for each reply, then keep doing that in chunks of 2700 characters till i reach the endsometimes i'll shorten it if i really want each post to be less cut off, like i don't like to cut off a line of green text then finish it in the next but obviously you're smart enough to know how this workswishing u luck, been there when it comes to time crunch kinda stuff, hope the green gets finished tho because FUCK its addicting
>>42974368That last experience really soured Celestia's idea on dating ever again huh.
>>42974359>first question is "How are you and Anon?">second question is whether they've fucked yet>third question isn't even a question, just her "subtly" trying to prod Twiggy into telling her how big his cock ishorny ponies are a blessing
>>42974502>i have a thousand years of experiencei would rather go home at this point
>>42974648Luna has no experience, anon. Just saying...
>>42974502Says she doesn't date, clearly still bounces on dick.
>be prince anon>a bunch of nerdy mares had wrought some fanfics about you>you're not sure if you should be disgusted or amused.>how you got your hooves on them, you'll never tell>your reading them with your dragon friend Cinder who laughing her ass off"Oh Muddy Water, we can't be together my family want to keep the bloodline pure.">"HAHAHA hold on. Let me catch my breath.">Cinder lifted herself from the floor to sit up right.>"ooh, you got to tell me how you got these pure gold fanfic.""It's a colt secret.">Cinder roll her eyes.>"You said that last time, can I get a hint?">you look across the cave and see Brave Heart chatting with Cinder mom."Let just say being a prince has their benefits.">Cinder shake her head before pushing you arm.>"Alright mister no tell, keep reading that trash.">you just nod before going back to where you were."OH Anon, I will fight your mothers, sisters and your father just to be with you.>be Cinder>from all the boys you huned out with, that your mom keep capturing to spend time with you>anon is your favorite colt>with him enjoying being away from the noble life he lives.>Let just hope he dosn't get his hooves on your journal.>last thing you want is him reading you saving him from another dragon twice your size.
>>42974654>Luna bangs someone>the first thing she does is go out on the royal balcony and shouts to the ponies below>"REJOICE! I HAVE HAD THE SEX!"
>>42975514Celestia is off to the side with pom poms.
>>42975514>"REJOICE, CITIZENS! THY DARK PRINCESS HAS ENJOYED THE INTERCOURSE WITH HER CHOSEN STALLION, AND HAS SHED HER VIRGINITY!">Meanwhile, in Celestia's tower, the white mare herself gasps.>"She beat me to him?!"
>10
Guys, this thread has gotten to my head.I have noticed so many RGRE innuendos in my daily live.I am stud-ying or "pumping" iron. I basically have a mare seductively wiggling her eyebrows in the back of my head.
>>42974469That would suck the only person interested in you was just trying to syphon your magic. I'd probably of just gone off the deep end.
Stallions love to buy useless junk and wounder why their poor.
>>42976065kekwill put that in my notes that I'll never use
>>42975514>citizens down below start cheering and sincerely congratulating her
>>42975769>>42975514>Luna's now free of administrative position on wizardhoof imageboard
[Warning, this is a total self-insert, so it's gonna suck, also first time writing] >Be ADA>Stationed at Ft Sill>Basic? Ft Sill. AIT? Ft Sill. First duty station? Ft Sill.>Easy to say, you've been pretty pissed off>"Yeah, you heard about Spear?""What about him?" You took a swig of your monster inside the ECS. "Is he finally getting separated?">"Actually, yeah. He got married.">You took your eyes off the LCD screen. "We talking about the same shitbag Kowatasi?" >Ho nodded. "Yep, he married one of those Equestrians." "Probably for BAH." >You stop then took off your headset and turned the chair to Ho."Aren't they those... Aliens?">"Oh shit you weren't there, they're here for some joint op with uh... Fucking... I forgot but yeah, they're here. Not with us, though.""Then how did he meet her?">Ho shrugged. "Fuck if I know man.">Eh, not like it matters to you
>>42977268A little confused, but keep going.
>>42977204Luna probably thought sex would make her lose her witch (wizard) powers.
>>42976821I still write down most of the green ideas I get even though i'm p much ded
>>42977268>Be ADAAnon is a tard?
>>42977268>>42977907I think I need a guide for all those acronyms
>>42977717>nay sister if we lay with a colt our magic could weaken and thus leave Equestria undefended!
>>42978630Like it did the last thousand years. Oh wait, she wasn’t there.
I can't believe Prince anon is playing O&O with Spike, Big mac, and Discord. he such a faker.
>>42979088Pics or you're lying.
>>42979221>asking for pic>on an anonymous naepones image formBAKA
>>42979400>Mare lies through her teeth for fake points.
[DFAC: Dining Facility, ECS: Engagement Control Station, BAH: Basic Allowance Housing, AIT: Advanced Individual Training, LCD is just the screen on manstations]>Be at DFAC>On 24 hr shift>Shit sucks>You grabbed a mug with a hot coco packet inside and headed for the coffee>Except it ran out>Your head hung low>You go for the hot water instead>You need your fucking hot coco fix>It's near Febuary, meaning cold as shit in Oklahoma >No hot water either>Can't have shit in Fort Sill..."God mother fucking shit damn it..." You muttered. >"Pardon me, is the hot water unavailable?" A voice asked from behind."Yeah, it's empt—" You turned around.>What the fuck.>What stood in front of you was a woman of fair skin, standing at 6'7... Maybe higher.>Her hair was black, but with a tinge of blue that melded in so well it might as well be natural. Not to mention her hair was floating, shimmering, as if a piece of night sky had been snipped and glued to her head."Uh... Yeah. Like I said, empty." >"Ah, that is most unfortunate." "Yeah shit sucks.">You wondered who this chick was and why she was here. She wore a flowing black dress with blue accents and white dots that glistened.>"Have a pleasant day, Sgt.Aggot.""You too...">You watched her leave, after another minute of confusion. [][][]>Be Luna>Oh horseapples you did it!>You talked to Anon! Your fated lover!>Cadence was right, he really was your type.>But Earth's military has so many rules... And brute forcing your problem won't end so well...>What to do?
>>42979768>[DFAC: Dining Facility, ECS: Engagement Control Station, BAH: Basic Allowance Housing, AIT: Advanced Individual Training, LCD is just the screen on manstations]I assume that this is going to save a ton on the character limit in the future
>>42979768Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned some interesting military terms.Also watching you Sister navigate human society is truly fascinating.
We need to keep fake gamer colts out of our gaming community. they bring nothing but death and destruction to every game group with mares hoping that they will date them if they "help" them in the games.I lost many of good friends because of them.
>>42979768So much for picking up your waifu bridal style.
10
>>42981048Good for Raven for sticking to her guns
>>42981048I’m cute?
>>42980440Those friends were bots.
>>42981845I would of saided her friend where the SRGs seeing if she is threat to equestria or not.
>>42981048That is a well dressed pony.
>new local hobby shop open>check if they have the newest ponypet TCG packs>notice a fake gamer stallion also in the shop holding a O&O book>shout at the stallion for being a faker>stallion start to cry and run out of the store>all other mare cheer after the stallion has left>owner let you take a box of ponypat packs for free>today is a good day
>>42982643https://youtu.be/0aBUfpnE86U?t=133
>>42982643>Marecels bully stallions and then wonder why theirs's a mare lonely epidemic and before you ask yes my sunhat is well kept.
>>42982643>"She yelled at me, Anon.">Be Anon the human.>Want to play D&D again, but all you got are silly stallions to work with.>"I never felt so embarrassed.">So here you are, brushing his mane to help him calm down.>"I was just looking for the new edition for our game too.">Really hope you don't have to tie a silly bow on this tail.>"Like I'm happy to GM for you all, but that was so stressful.""How ab--.">"No Anon.">He gets real serious real quick.>"I don't want you punting another mare. It's not right.""Fine.">Keep braiding the little dork's mane.
>>42983135>Get to go to RGRE>Have to be an emotional sponge to a bunch of bratty coltsMonkey's paw type shit
>>42983037I didn't want to be a marecel, I just wanted to be left alone.
>>42983145Imagine the poor stallions. They have to control the violent urges of the alien ape. Good friend, but colt is he ever on a short fuse.
>>42983801>worst angry outburst anypony in Ponyville's seen is a screaming match>and those were from the mares>imagine everypony's surprise when Anon's patience ended>they were confused by seeing him start to roll up his sleeve>some mares even catcalled>any subsequent catcalls died on their lips when his fist connected to the offending mares face before he walked away>now he's simply known as the brattiest colt in town who only the mareliest mare can tame into a proper househusband>Anon wasn't even mad for himself>he'd been insulted worse on french mime discussion boards>it was only when the mare started hurling slurs, or at least, what he thought were horse slurs at the stallions who had tried to "take him under their wing">he didn't think much of those insults either>but it did make the stallions cry>and they'd been the only halfway decent ponies to him
>>42984267He's a bucking bronco.
>>42984267>>42984466The "I can fix him" crowd is going insane
>>42984634Nothing wrong with Anon, he just really protective of his friends.
>>42982643If a mare yelled at me I think I'd straight up evaporate out of existence
>>42983525The mare doth protest much.
>>42984267Honestly I think Anon would catch a lot more flak. Yes he's a stallion, but he is an /alien/ moreso than anything else.
>>42974368>You're drunk, tired, and standing next to a big blue pony. You definitely must be Anon if this is the case.“So uh you're blue huh?” You continued to drink some of the colorfully gay drinks they provided.>”Our coat is a midnight azure with the stars themselves lining our mane.”“Cool.” Checking your cup, it seems you finished another drink, and you must begin to hunt again for another one.>Without saying another word, you walk away to go get a new drink, but you feel something hold you still, and looking down there’s a strange light blue magical aura around your waist. Looking for the original source, you find it.“You mind letting go of me?” You try to shrug off the magic, but it holds you still.>”That I cannot do. My sister requested me to watch over you, and so I shall. It will be much easier if you stay here and not move until your mare returns.”“Yeah? Well I’m thirsty, so protect me from that.” You shook your cup, emphasizing your point.>”I have watched you, and it’s clear you're not. If anything, you should watch how much you have been drinking.” Then muttering under her breath, “Stallions especially can’t handle their ale.”“Listen.” You stop yourself from calling her a bitch, barely catching it. “Miss Luna, I just require a drink, we humans can handle liquor.” You explain, trying to be as formal and posh as drunk you can.>”A stallion should be able to wait on their mare, especially if they should be worth their weight in salt.” After saying this, she looks you up and down. Ah shit, she’s trying to call you fat, isn’t she? Looking around, it seems other ponies have also taken notice of that too.>”Princess, maybe you shouldn’t speak to stallions like that.” Oh hey, it’s Ebony. Aww, she looks so nervous saying that. She’s trying to defend you, what a sweet thing. Weirdly, her eyes kept shifting around to the other ponies nearby.>”For what purpose? His size is larger than most ponies here. My words ring true, do they not?” She sounded defensive, even pointing at you. You hear a small gasp from some of the ponies in the audience.>Trying to keep your cool, you ignore her and look for Twilight. If anyone could handle whatever this is turning into, she probably could do it. However, your eyes look into a sea of rainbows, unable to find your shade of purple in it.>Then you start to hear the ponies in the crowd surrounding you murmuring about something you can’t pick up on much, except it sounds like they are ‘concerned’ for your feelings.>These two-faced assholes, not even moments before when you were with Twilight, they kept calling you a fillychaser with long legs, and now they wanna pretend to care. Bite me.1/8Sorry for the spam in advance.
>>42985344“Miss Luna.” You turn back to her and notice her face stiffened, with Ebony bracing for what’s to come. “Your words amuse me, but I must attest I am more than my size. I have a great intellect." Ok Anon, look at you using big fancy words while getting shit faced. >”I am wary of such a claim. I have met many stallions in my lifetime, and many have showed me the brilliance I had fully expected to find from any stallion.” She grew quiet on her last words. “Which seems to be lacking if at all.”“Then dear princess, please, if you would allow me to play a game with you to show you my aptitude.” As you say this, you reach into your coat pocket, sliding your hand over the brass knuckles and instead grabbing a pack of playing cards.>”A game? Of course, what had I expected?”“Of course, if you're worried of losing, I understand not many would take a chance to be defeated by a stallion.” You made sure to emphasize stallion at the end.>”I am the princess of the night! I have defeated countless armies and monsters the size of castles! I am not worried about facing a mere stallion, let alone an alien one at that.”>Hook line and sinker, time to show why you were run out of towns. Looking around, you see an empty table and make your way over to it, with Luna following behind you closely.“As you can see, this is a pack of playing cards, and if you’d like, you can inspect the deck and the cards to show I haven’t tampered with it.” Sliding the deck over to the other side of the table, Luna lifts the deck, looking it over.“The rules are simple. I'll take 3 cards from that deck, and 2 of them will be queens and one will be the ace. All you have to do is pick which of the three cards is the ace, it's that simple.” She gives back the deck, and you open the pack.>”Is this truly the pinnacle of stallion intellect where you originate from?” She scoffed.“Of course not, this is just a fun game, princess. It's been some time since I played this with anyone, so I hope you don't mind being my first.” You watch her thrown aback after what you said.>Everyone has something that throws them off their game. Some people need to have their ego stroked, while others need to start talking about something you couldn’t care about. Whatever it is, having someone lose their focus is perfect for what you're going to do.>”Watch your tongue, you philanderer!” For our dear princess, it seems not much is needed aside from some mild flirting.“Dear princess, I have no clue what you mean? I’m just enjoying the chance to play a game from my home.” Following that, you open the pack and take out 2 queens, revealing them as the queen of spades and clubs, respectively.>She takes both cards, checking them very closely to see if there's anything wrong with them, and keeps looking at you, almost expecting you to do something. You just smile and pull a single red ace from the deck and slide it over to her side.2/8
>>42985349>”If you intend to deceive me during this little game, be aware that I have faced a creature who embodies deception and chaos, and yet we still were able to defeat him and his tricks.” “Princess, you think so little of me. I swear on my honor as a stallion I will not lie during our game.” You put up your right hand and your left on your chest.>Her eyes narrow once more before sliding back the three cards, seemingly passing whatever inspection or test she attempted on them.>“Furthermore, if you attempt to cast anything in the way of magic, I shall know.”“Oh you don’t have to worry about that, princess. I promise no magic shall come into play either. In our game, everything you see is very real, and no magic trickery here.”>”Begin.” she commanded.>You didn’t say another word. You grabbed the ace and queen of clubs in your left hand and put the queen of spades in your right and began the trick. You tossed down the ace in the middle and the queens at its side.>Following that, you slowly slide the cards around, with Luna’s eyes staying tracked right where the ace is. After a few more seconds of sliding, you stop moving the cards and put your hands by your sides.“Oh princess, I forgot to mention something. I hope you don’t mind, but I think 3 games will suffice.”>”Care to explain?”“Well it is getting late, so me and Twilight must be off. I'd hate for us to miss our train home, so I’d like to keep the games short, and in the case you win one and I win one, we can decide a winner with the third.”>”Tis an acceptable reason.” She looked towards the cards again and laid her hoof on the card on the far right. “This is the location of the ace.”“Tsk, sorry princess, you're wrong.” You lift up the card to reveal the queen of clubs in its place. “I guess I'll take game one.”>You watched as her eyes popped out of her skull, clearly confused, looking back at the card she swiped it up and started casting a spell on it, almost hoping to catch you cheating.>”Impossible, you cheat! We watched the card leave thy hand and lay upon the middle, you swindler!”“Princess, how would I cheat if you watched me the whole time, along with this crowd of ponies around us. If I did, would they not have seen it?” You watched as Luna looked over to her guards, and each one either shrugged unsurely or looked away in embarrassment.>”I know your game, charlatan. Do not conceive even for a moment you will deceive my eyes once more!” She stomped her hoof on the table, shaking the table, which scared some of the little ponies around you.“Of course, princess. Now shall I start the next game?”3/8
>>42985352>She grit her teeth and nodded, so this time you took the ace and the queen of spades together in your right hand and the queen of clubs in your left. As you prepared to throw down the ace in the middle, you stopped and looked at Luna dead in the eyes. “Miss Luna, if I may call you that, your eyes remind me of the oceans back home, very beautiful, but I know if I look too deep I think I may lose myself in them.” You watched as the anger in her jumped out of the driver's seat, and instead confusion grabbed the wheel and is barreling down a gorge.>”D-Do not attempt to distract me, you libertine! Must I remind you of your arrangement with Miss Twilight.”“I only wished to compliment beauty when I see it. I meant no ill will by or of it.” With that last word, your hands stopped moving the cards and you laid your arms by your side.>”Wait, I demand a redo! I was distracted by your blandishments!” Her eyes looked quickly to try and figure out where the ace lay.“I asked if you wished for me to start, and you agreed. I only did as you told me to do so.” You swear you can see a vein begging to pop right out of her skull.>She didn't say another word, instead just looked at the three cards and planted her hoof on the card on the left. You didn’t say a single word; instead, you calmly flipped the card to reveal a queen of spades instead.>”Prepare the next game, Mr. Anon.” She didn’t raise her voice; she didn’t need to, the tension did that for her.“As you request, princess.” You take the ace in one hand and the two queens in the other and lay the ace in the middle, with the queens surrounding it. Her eyes didn’t waver; instead, they held tightly onto the ace while you moved the cards around.>You didn’t bother trying to trick her this time. You know that for a fact, if you tried that same trick, she’d catch on, and god knows what she might do. Sometimes winning just means surviving another day.>Your hands stop moving the cards. You and her know the ace lies right in the center, but before you can put your hands by your side and let her pick, you see a familiar face belonging to your favorite purple dweeb.>”Anon? Are you and Princess Luna playing something?” You watched as Luna turned around to see Twilight and Celestia, who made it past the crowd of ponies you had surrounding you. As she turned around, you started to brew a devilish idea.>”Dear sister and her ward, we hail your return and urge you to watch as we defeat this treacherous beguiler!” As she speaks, you keep your hands low, close to the cards, but not touching, rather instead waving to twilight with them.>As you do so, you watch her eyes follow your hands' strange movements. As an added bonus, it seems Celestia isn’t even focused on you, but rather her sister and the crowd around you, so this makes what you have planned even better.4/8
>>42985358>”You sharper you act behind my back!” She turns around, pointing an accusatory hoof at you, then watches as you lower your hands to your sides. “Princess, I promise I’ve only acted when you could see me.” You finish with a smile on your face.>Her eyes shift from card to card, eyeing each one up, then looking at you to see if she can prod a reaction, but hold your smile and clearly pisses her off more. Eventually, her hoof presses on the card furthest to the right.“Sorry, princess, but the ace was right in the middle. Like I said, I only acted when you could see-” You were preparing to dig a thumb into the wound, but you could see that dangerous look in her eyes. One more thing, and she might jump right over this table.>”Maybe we should start heading out, Anon. It's getting late, and we might miss our train.” Twilight could also see the rage building on Luna and threw you a get out of being murdered free card.>“Your right, sweetheart, princess, if I may be allowed to say one more thing before I leave.” The air grew heavy for your next words. “You were wonderful. Of all the people I played with, you probably gave me the best run for my money, so thank you.”>You picked up the cards and quickly made your way out, with Twilight stuffing the cards back into your deck and shoving the deck into your suit’s pockets. Thankfully, no guards came rushing after you, and you didn’t feel the earth shake, so maybe you managed to at least smooth things over a little bit.>”Anon, what happened?” Twilight looked concerned for you.“Me and the princess had a minor disagreement about something, and we decided to solve it with a game from my home, and I won.” You tried not to sound too smug, but it’s clear you have a bit more pep in your step than usual.>”What’s the game? I don’t think you told me much about card games from your home.” Yeah, for good reason.“It’s just following a single card and making sure you pick it. Like I said, nothing to write home about. Instead, how did your talk with Celestia go?”>”Well. I told her the truth about us, and she actually took it quite well. She wasn’t mad at all; honestly, I feel a bit silly about everything now.” You ruffle her mane and smile at her.“Look at you being a good noodle, I'm proud of you.” She sighs playfully.>”Anon, I know it was pretty last minute, and I’m not too sure what happened with you and Princess Luna, but thank you for coming with me. I don't know if I could have done this by myself.”“I really didn’t do much except get wasted and play card games. You did most of the work, but thanks.” The two of you are quiet for a bit after that, but soon both of you share a look and start laughing.>Soon the laughter dies down and your eyes wander the streets. During the day, you were the center of attention of every and all the gay poners, so you didn’t get to enjoy the actual city, but now?5/8
>>42985361>You start to see small similarities to the city streets you use to wander, and for a moment you feel almost at home, if it wasn’t for the occasional pastel colored pony looking at you wondering what you are. >Then your legs stop, unable to take another step forward, instead forcing you to turn and see the street that looks like it was ripped straight from some of your old stomping grounds. Ponies lined up coming out of bars, drink still in hand, others coming out of places that couldn’t be anymore stereotypical of a casino.>You swear you can even catch the faint smell of tobacco in the air, or maybe that’s just a mild case of psychosis taking over. Whatever the case is, you can’t even bring yourself to move an inch, instead content to watch.>”Anon, are you ok?” Twilight at first sounds concerned, but soon realizes what caught you. “Oh, I’m sorry, Anon, you had to see this. I never liked walking past this street when I lived here.” She gives you a small nudge, and you soon start walking with her again.“What is that place?” You asked, trying to quell the enthusiasm in your voice.>”It’s a part of Canterlot that even the princesses struggle to control. It's called the Sunset Strip. Apparently, this is the only place in Canterlot you can legally gamble.”“Is gambling illegal in Equestria?” You ask, mildly concerned, since you might have just committed a crime right in front of the leaders of the nation.>”No, it’s perfectly legal in other places, it's just in Canterlot it’s been located solely to one place only.”“Any reason why?”>”Well, from what I remember back in the day, many concerned stallions, some even being from powerful noble families, were raising Tartarus about places like this opening up all over Canterlot, and eventually Celestia relented and ordered that any casinos had to be opened only on this street.”“Wow.”>”I know it’s disappointing, and I’m sorry you had to see this personally. I don't like this place. I've seen how some stallions act when they first get here, and it’s like some switch is turned in their head and they go from being modest to.” Instead of finishing her statement, she just shakes her head.“Well, I’m just glad I had you to keep me safe from wandering off into such a dangerous place. Thanks for protecting me, Twilight.”>“It’s not a problem, it's a mare’s job to protect her stallion.” She quickly catches herself and begins to try and stammer out an explanation, but you cut her off.“I’m your stallion now? At least buy a guy some dinner.”6/8
>>42985363>You are the biggest and the largest of all your little ponies, and if that’s the case, you must be Celestia, and if you're Celestia, that explains why you're currently following your sister, who hasn’t spoken a word since her loss against Twilight’s fake date.“Sister, please speak to me. If you're upset, let me know. I don’t want you to handle this alone.” You try to plead with your sister, but are met with no answer. Instead, she walks into her room, but instead of shutting the door, she waits for you to enter.>Not wanting to waste this opportunity to understand what’s happening, you step inside quickly and watch as your sister casts a spell to help soundproof the room. Oh dear, you, this is what you were worried about. She’s preparing to go off on the most sexist, speciesist tirade you will ever hear in your life.>“Sister, this night was wonderful! Simply amazing! I had a roaring time. I felt truly amongst my peers this night!.”>You couldn’t predict this at all from the way Luna looked earlier. She seemed ready to strike somepony down. Instead, she seems overjoyed; she's even spinning and tapping her hoofs in joy.“I’m sorry, sister, I thought you hated the party. You seemed unhappy when you left.”>”Nay, dear sister, to be forthright, I was incandescent due to that Anon creature and his trickery, but it’s the strangest thing. All throughout it, despite my defeats and his deception, I enjoyed every moment of it! I felt as though I was back in the fields facing a rival general.”>Seeing the joy from your sister warmed your heart since her return. She hasn’t had many moments where she was as ecstatic as this; the only other times that came close is nightmare night.>”It’s the most curious thing. However, the one named Anon, during our game, he never shrank despite my words. Most stallions in his position would have broken down into tears, yet he held steadfast.”“Well, from Twilight’s letters, Anon isn’t like the stallions from our world. Apparently, in his world, the roles are reversed, with the stallions or males of his species taking on the more dominant roles.”>”Stallions left unchecked to rule? It must be chaos over in his world. That explains the reason for his desire to stay here. All good stallions know their place. After all, it is under a powerful mare.” 7/8
>>42985368>You held back a laugh. You love your sister, but she really is an antique of the past some days. On another note, hearing that she had fun was great. Maybe this party idea wasn’t a failure. It’s baby steps, but still steps. >”And another point I must bring to your attention about this Anon. Are you aware of his coquettish behavior during our duel? He attempted to seduce me, but in truth he used it as an advantage to deceive me! Miss Twilight must be aware of his behavior and correct it post haste.””Dear sister, you brought up Anon quite a bit. Am I to believe perhaps you made a new friend?” You smile, ready for what you just did.>”Friend? HA! I laugh at the mere notion of friendship with a stallion. Many of them are far lacking in the levels of intelligence required to even speak to somepony of my magnitude.”“Yet you lose to a stallion?” You held back from laughing as Luna quickly shot herself forward, almost pressing her face into yours.>”Who’s side are you on, sister?”“I just wanted to ask.” That seems to satisfy her, as she pulled away from you and took a more refined look again.>”To answer your question, no, Anon is not our friend. He is our rival, a stallion that must be put in his place, and sadly, if Twilight Sparkle is unable, then I shall be the one to dominate that whimsical beast.”>You look out the window towards the direction of Ponyville from the letters Twilight’s sent about Anon. He doesn't seem like a bad fit to be Luna’s first friend. You just hope he’ll be able to put up with her more colorful antics.8/8(I hope you guys enjoy it! I'm considering writing them out to be longer but the main thing is if I do more then likely it'll take longer to get them out.)
>>42985373Anon will be giving in to his earthly vices once more it seems.
>>42985638Anon is a shark and he smells blood in the water. That blood just happens to be drunk mare scented. >>42985373Perhaps it's a good thing Celestia didn't inform dearest Luna that it was a ruse of a date.
>>42985373pretty good, anonwill you ponepaste your green when you finish it?
>Be you>Secret Formula>AKA Anon>Be mudpony>Live innacapeshit world>You supply the criminal underworld with various chemical concoctions>Your most common, and annoying, customer is the Mane-iac>Thankfully because you don't go trotting around waving your criminal record around like a moron you haven't attracted the attention of the Power Ponies>Who would have guessed that being quiet keeps you from getting your teeth kicked in by superheroes?>Anyways, you have to get ready for your date with your marefriend Twilight
>>42985072>Anon is in jail.>Breaks out when he hears one of his boys crying.>Goes back to jail when he's done mare flank kicking.
>>42985373>be me>post >>42986083 before finishing 8/8>mfw I finish itkek
>>42985373Nice green bro
>>42986090>Be Secret Formula>Innargrcapeshitworld>And also a pony>Try to get into selling potions n shiet nigga>Mare supervillians come to you for concoctions>Except they always say it "con-COCK-tions">Make jokes about you using your cum in your products>Fuckingdisgusting.wav>One day, Mane-iac comes by>Probably wants more "Shampoo That Makes You Stop Thinking Gay Thoughts">"Another bottle of the good stuff, Anonymous! Extra not-gay!">Called it>Hm, none under the counter"Gonna have to whip up a quick batch. Gimme a minute.">"Oh, take your time, take your time. Can't rush art, as they say, hm?">"How about you add a little, eh, SPECIAL SAUCE, this time, Anonymous, hm?">Hilarious>Right when you're passing through the doorway to the back area, you let out an EEP! from a smack on your ass>You whirl around to glare at Mane-iac, who's smiling that stupid fucking smile>"Or should I say, some of your...Secret Formula?">Fuck
>>42986576now there's a mare who knows what she wants (to not be gay)
>>42985344>Sorry for the spam in advance.there are a handful of anons i think about from this board during my day to day life, mostly purp, glimmy fart fag, and the cherry berry sledding game guy, but i've officially added you to my rotation of /mlp/ board characters to think about whenever I'm thinking of fuck all
SLIDIN'SLIDIN'
>>42987324
>Be Prince anon.>Get ready for noble mares trying to be your special somepony for heart and hooves day>Mom won't let you be single on that day to lock yourself in your bedroom.>You left your room and already see a noble mare coming up to you.>"Hello m'lord, how is one doing this fine morning.""I'm doing quite fine,">There is a stagnate pause as the noble pull out roses and a heart shape box.>"Would m'lord be interested to be my special somepony for this heart and hooves day?">Wow she went straight to it."So lovely for you to ask but I must denied, I have planes to do that day.">That plan is to run away from here and hide in ponyville in Twilight castle.>The noble look defeated as she put away the gifts for you.>"Well I hope m'lord have a pleasent day.">The noble walk away as a guard come to your side to escort you to the throne room.>Celestia you hate this month.
>>42988371Imagine if your mom was Cadance. She’ll be so mad.
>>42988371>"M'lord, did you just say that you have planes to do today?">"I wish not to anger you, but your failure at basic speech does implore that I ask you: Are you a plone fucker, or just retarded, m'lord?">"Please answer sincerely, for my family has been plagued by many deformities, an unfortunate side effect of my father's insistence on keeping very close... familial relations with us all.">"He would never forgive me were I to lie with one of questionable breeding, and pop out another bow-legged dummy with eyes as wonky as a mailmare's."
>>42988481“Well I’m royalty just like you so…”
>>42988323Double boop her!
>>42986576Evil mare making a booty call.
>>42988481>>42988660Considering the presence of actual mind-magic, I could see something along the lines of the Bene Gesserit existing; making sure colts are born to the right noble families and seeking to correct genetical bottlenecks.Question is: are these Ordo Familius males or females.
>>42989251Actually, if the gender ratio has existed since ye olden times, it could be interesting to explore how that has shaped spirituality pre (or even during) the two sisters.
>>42987952
>>42988481Plone fucker and retarded.
>>42988450Who is Prince Anon's parents? Is he a herd baby, a secret love child, did the princesses make him out of dirt??
Question, I'm normally not in these threads, but has anyone ever made a story where Anon or maybe even Twilight discover that Discord is the cause of all this? Maybe in the distant past? And may possibly just be waiting to switch it back when he feels it would be the funniest? I can't help but imagine a bunch of stallions awakening from the feminization only to fall right into the mental crisis of (Restored) Nature Vs Nurture. Anyway, yeah.
>>42987378>glimmy fart fagTHE GLIMMERNIGGER IS IN YOUR HEAD TOO! i am not crazy, it´s normal, i fucking hate him, hate hate hate hate ahte hate! GEEEET OUUUUUUTTTTTTTTT OOOOF MYYYYYYYYYY HEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
>Be pony.>The weird human is over talking about something.>You're to busy looking at human legs and see him wearing socks.>Wounder if human would sleep in bed with pony.>Feel human hand touch pony head.>"Your such a great friend pony.">Chuckle and say 'you too.'>Human Leave and now your sad.>If only you ask human to sleep with you.
>>42990521There are a few with the premise of "The RGR is artificial", which I assume is more important than the "caused by Discord" part. Neither of them have gotten to the "switch it back" part.Twilight Prince (Redux)https://www.fimfiction.net/story/546883/the-twilight-prince-reduxI wrote a review with spoilers here:https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/41355506/#q41358565Anomaly in a Mares World:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/485439/the-anomaly-in-a-mares-worldI wrote a review with spoilers here:https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/42870347/#q42897781If you're going to read one, read Twilight Prince (Redux). I hated both of them and they're both bad, but TP(R) is still the obvious superior.
shy first kisses with nervous fillies!
>>42990521>discord behind it alldo princesses know?
>>42991072>The story is about Twilight turning herself into a dude>The results are that Twi, like many mares, is basically a troon who "was a man all along", and also that the story's destiny is Twi maledomming ponies in some hyper harem. gaaaaay
>>42991711He did more than steal their tails that one time.
>>42991941The most cruel prank.
>>42991711Celestia for sure, having been the matriarchal figure for 1000 years probably ended up adapting to the new paradigm. Having existed in a harsher more brutal age where even mares needed to be just as strong and violent, she probably perpetuated the role even as things became more peaceful. Thus the stallions ended up going softer and the mares stayed relatively the same. Being immortal she probably didn't notice the change until it was too late, more than likely chalking up any fru fru ness to the nobility being nobility and not the entire stallion population becoming sissies.Luna and the Crystal Empire, being relatively time capsuled are the last vestiges of pre-Equestrian society when the world "made sense."I wonder if RGRE Celestia ever feels like the Celestia from that one fic-let where Stallions have to defeat their fathers and fuck their mothers to be officially considered as REAL Stallions.
>>42992183I remember that fic it was funny
>>42992183>>42992236posting here just for you guys
>>42992276the suicidal thoughts truly carry you through this one
>>42992183>>42992276Never knew I needed thisThanks for sharing this work of art, anons
>>42992276stop making feel oldalso for those interested it was put into AI voice back in early '21 by clipperhttps://youtu.be/58ZsCcIAs2M?si=PlAkhc1KFQgmTeT2
mare
>>4299291Need dominant marewife to put me in my place.
Prince Anon is a fake noble, he is nothing more that a filthy commoner.Who with me to remove him from Canterlot.
>>42991007Was this written by a cavemare?
>>42993157Are you that small teats pegashit who he told to leave him alone at the aquarium?
>>42993257Do you know how many mare that got rejected by prince anon?It's a lot, so she might be able to get a large mob.
Prince Anon and Prince Blueblood tally up how many mares they've rejected every day as a fun game.
>>42993580Quality rejects get higher points. The more prestigious the mare that was rejected, the more points. Rarity got Blueblood the win.
>>42994015
It's Friday. Don't forget your mares will be coming home exhausted and eager for your company.
>>42994713I just want to make Mares happy by making them home cooked meals and seeing them get emotional after being single for a long time
>>42995130>Really want to make mare wife happy.>Sadly can’t fulfill husbando duties.>On the account of being kidnapped by villain of the week.Feels bad man.
currently reading anon and birbfilly on ponepaste because one old rgre thread recommended itpeak family comfyusers of tranime and mangoes board of 4channel always try to shill me Yotsuba series, should I read it for similar family content?
>>42995130>seeing them get emotional after being single for a long timestrange thinking about how much of the fantasy requires the miserable desperation of mares as its basis lol
>>42995785Well if the roles are reversed...
>>42993580>one shudders to imagine what inponish thoughts lie behind that mask
>>42992923Trampled to death by potential mare wives.
>>42995785This thread is fueled by projecting
>>42995360Thanks for reminding me of that fic.Just read through it again
>Waking up late on a Saturday with mare wife.>Don't have to go anywhere.Living the dream.
Why can't human males be real? I want to smother one into my chest fluff.
>no cute mare to make you sniff her maremonesIt hurts.
>>42998715Must be reading a fun sci-fi novel with no annoying forced into it.
What should I do to get prince anon to notice me?
>conscripted to be the royal wing preener by divine decree
>>42999383Be a zebra mare
>>42999386I doubt she's going to enjoy that. I have no idea what I'm doing.
>>42999417I want to talk to him, not foalnap him.
>Be prince anon.>Going about your day by going on a walk around town.>You notice a crowd surrounding something.>When you got there they slip like the red sea and you see what they where looking at.>A mare in stripe face juggling some bowling pin>You started laughing which cause the mare to stop and stare at you.>She yelps and run away as the guards chase after her.>Today was not a boring day.
>>43000210Celestia upset the prince saw such crude humor.
>>42999684She'll teach you, if you know what I mean
>>43000719No thanks.
>>43000984>implying you get a choice
