Previous: >>42937813Greens:https://ponepaste.org/11227https://ponepaste.org/11309https://ponepaste.org/11463https://ponepaste.org/11575Thread Question: Anonmare the Family Mare was religious as a human. What are the funniest stories her foals could misinterpret? (Can be any religion- what if Anonmare was the last practicing Sumerian polytheist?)
>>43033752>Mare is Jewish>Begins the Grünschild dynasty
>>43033752Why is anoncolt black
tall anonmare
>>43033752>Mom: 21 years old anon>Filly: 37 years old anon>Colt: 35 years old femanon
>>43034174go home transformer man
iwtci hag anonmare
Anonpony family for good luck. Congrats on another thread anonmarebros.
>>43034172I like the way you think>>43033799That makes me think of those overpriced hippie vitamin gummies that're like 15 bucks for 7 of them
>>43034174I'm interested in your thoughts on all of the anonpony threads, genuinely. I'd like to know your reasoning, what motivates your persistence? I've got a bunch of speculations, but I want to hear your own opinion, Anon.
>>43034304Thank you! We all love a good Anonmare.
I need a moment of tranquillity with a good natured anon mare.
>>43034967>no hooves
>>43034986>No hooves>The anonmare is standing on four of them?????
>>43035243I'm talking about the monkey
>>43035274That's not a nice thing to say about a bro. At least the nohooves thing was technically correct. Anon(guy)s and anonstallions can be friends in their shared love of anonmares.
>>43035693cute anonmare
>>43035317Yeah we're apes, not monkeys
Pre bed
>>43034513It's a ritualpost, I can guarantee that the anon that posts that is another anonmare enjoyer.
>>43036991Nah, it's someone who has these threads rent free in their mind.
Have a brick.
>>43037475OH SHIT! Free brick!?
>https://ponepaste.org/11461Any plans to continue? It's been a while.
>>43037869I hope this story gets finished someday
>>43037475OUCH! That brick hurt me head...
>>43037869
>>43038349Sad
>>43038729It made my day being asked, though. Kind of a depressed Hearts and Hooves otherwise. I'm procrastinating on another project but I haven't forgotten about the green.
>>43038854Fear not, as long as I keep going on tangents that make me go "heh that'd be kinda funny" I'll keep the thread alive with the shitty spa date that never ends
>>43033340https://ponepaste.org/11575>You start to trot out but stop, getting yet another Trix to Ass encounter,"Oh shit! Almost- hey watch it! Almost forgot....">The blued steel and lacquered walnut stock, tucked neatly by your sleeping bag, they call to you and you call out in triumph as you raise them high:"My motherfuckin GUN! ...Aight now how am I gonna carry the ammo? My bags are...">"Probably in 14 separate pieces inside the spa's water system?""Yeah- which itself is in 14 separate pieces all over the county, heh...">"Ha ha... crap.""Yeah, my bags were bargain rack rejects... Sorry about your hat and cape though....">You sling the gun like you did before. Now, what about the ammo? Box is too bulky to get a good grip, too awkward to balance on your back reliably even without the gun...>Shit. You're almost lost in thought, broken by Trixie answering with a scoff: "The cape was, admittedly, rather cheap of make and material... The hat, though. You've no idea how expensive a GOOD hat can be, especially when it's embroidered!">Did she forget you know Rarity? Rarity is->"A GOOD-GOOD hat, for everyday wear, not some gossamer and lace fashion item to be worn once to a congregation of sycophants and ne'er again!""Whajaksdja- was it that obvious!?">Trixie says nothing, just trots up beside you with waggling eyebrows and her whole back half shaking from side to side like a kid that was told to sit still but physically can't so they settle on the technicality of their FEET not leaving that spot>It's>Weird?>Probably meant to be seductive but the eyebrow waggling is pure comedy"Trixie, I can't- the fuck are you doing? Having a stroke?">"Oho, if we catch Bulk at the right time we could BOTH have a stroke. WINK.">You cease your ammo finagling, feeling like a complete fucktard as you notice the box is metal, has a latch, and a carry handle.>So close the box and carry it already!"Trrrmphie, mmmph ffpfpfmy-">Carry it AFTER you're done talking, fucktard>P'tooie"Trixie.">She tries avoiding your gaze, fails, and gives her best Dumb Bitch Eye Flutter.>"Ye-e-e-e-s?""Trixie. You don't have to start acting cute or talking about sex just because we're dating.">She holds the blinky-blushy face for a few seconds before audibly deflating. "Sorry, you got flustered for a sec and... nevermind.">Her face is cherry red and you feel a wide-on coming back"Damn, that desperate? Been a while for me, too...">Basically a fucking lifetime but you don't know if you can tell anypony THAT>Before either of you can continue the awkward pathetic flirting, your ears prick towards muffled arguing outside your tent>Angry murmurs, pounding too- probably stomping on the ground, or running, or->>Davenport roars from outside- "QUIT PLAYING TIDDLYWINKS AND GET OUT HERE BEFORE SOMEPONY STRANGLES SOMEPONY!"
>>43033752>https://ponepaste.org/11463I noticed the story this is referencing wasn't in the OP story list so here it ishttps://ponepaste.org/11239
>>43036984Anoncolt thread got some amazing anonfamily art. It brings a tear to my eye seeing everypony together...
>>43040931Anonmare looks tired, like she just got done making that baby>>43040937>How do I even comebackSimple, make your mom real proud so she can be like "Did you? When? I didn't feel anything-"
>>43038924You deserve a medal.
Anon forgot that winking is the sign of sexual desire among ponies
>>43041218>Simple, make your mom real proud so she can be like "Did you? When? I didn't feel anything-"You could also say I was inside her way more than you ever will.
>>43042075>The next day>The foals go downstairs to find dad sleeping on the couch>Mom walks by, kids ask what happened"Your dad thought he could beat your record but didn't think of how either of us were going to piss like that."
>>43042457She's getting them from the marble factory next door
>>43041735;)
>>43042457
>>43043247>>43043744So she's getting them from Cloudy Quartz's pussy?
>>43039282>Well that can't be good>Leave the ammo! Take the gun, don't waste time getting it off of you, emergency emergen-"GAH FUCK!">That would be the zipped tent entrance (tentrance) you rammed (I'm about to be rammed HELP HELP) into.>Not hard enough to damage anything, but you might've gotten a black eye if it were wood.>Trixie looks at you. Then the tent door. Then you.>No head movements. Just slow, steady eye shifts."I panicked ok!? Come on!">Her horn ignites and the zipper moves, while she stares directly at you.>Slowly, annoyingly, the tent comes open while you realize you've been trotting in place like an incontinent schoolfilly>You stop with an awkward laugh and get down low, ready to move as soon>As>The>Tent"TRIXIE WHAT THE FUCK C'MON">Opens!>Off you go, complete with a zippy sound effect->>"WHAT'S THE HOLDUP!? COME-OW! WATCH THAT LE-E-E-G!""GAH!">-Right into Davenport, who stumbles backwards and nearly falls until you grab and brace him. Seems to have a splint on his back right leg.>Wait a sec, you touched your whole body against Davenport>Davenport, the pony who got launched into his own shit, the shit guy, the Davenport covered in shit, That Davenport>God>Fucking>Dammit>Hey wait he doesn't smell awful- and his mane is shiny- and-"Davenport where the HELL did you get a hot shower!?">Trixie darts right behind you upon hearing 'shower.'>>"PINKIE BROUGHT SHOWERS YA IDJITS. Most of the water went to cleaning injuries so don't get your hopes up...">You and Trixie deflate>>"Speaking of Pinkie, GO STOP HER FROM DYING!" he shouts, gesturing in the direction of-
>>43044171>Oh for fuck's sake>To your right, off in the distance, you can hear shouting. Two female voices- no, three!? What?>The camp has fairy lights and a couple campfires, but the rest of the bathhouse is pretty dark now. Emergency lights must've died by now- poor fireflies.>Still, lotta ground to cover from that general angle and Davenport apparently doesn't know exactly where the fighting is coming from, either.>Sweep left to right->Right to left->Nothing there, nothing there, wait- it's coming from the grottos->You overlooked it at first, but on a second sweep, by the dim light of the last few poles, you can see Pinkie sheltering in the ruins of one of the soaking cubicles. She must've just now dared to peek out of cover.>You can't tell what she's hiding from, other than it's a female voice- Flitter>Must be Flitter. She's the only female you can't account for right now.>Keep watching those cubbies, watch for a shadow or someth- There! Swooping down just after Pinkie does some kind of Tom and Jerry face and pops back into her hidey hole->Yep>Yep that's Flitter>Making strafing runs at Pinkie with->With Bulk as a weapon.>It'd be fucking hilarious if->Okay it is kind of hilarious, he's screaming like a girl while being swung like a claymore>But you can't let Pinkie get put out of commission>But also, Flitter is a force to be reckoned with and the only power multiplier you have over her would be lethal force via grenade.>You can't do nothing, you can't just try to talk without insurance- You do not want Horse Snooki to smack you with Ponny Bravo.>What to do, what to->There's a certain neighborly cow gnawing on a haybale a few strides from your tent. Worth a try."HEY, MOORIEL!">"Yep?""You think you could tank a hit from Flitter swinging Bulk?">She contemplates for a moment, then: "Not sure anyone could- but he wouldn't dare let her hit me. Ayep, let's go break 'em up.">Wait a sec- Trixie stopped breathing down your neck. You kinda need her crowd control skills, in more ways than one-"TRIXIE! Where are you!?">Your ears angle towards a soft 'eep,' which becomes a bigger and guiltier 'eep' when you find Trixie hiding in her sleeping bag."C'mon, first place I looked? I thought we were cool with Pinkie now-">A nose pokes out from the bag. "Trixie may have ceased hostilities with a certain Pinkie Pie, but that does not make Pinkie Pie less fearsome- nor does it make less fearsome that which would openly challenge Pinkie Pie!">Wut>>"Trixie I don't speak Neigh Orleans creole or whatever you were just-">"UGH! Trixie doesn't want to fight Flitter! Please?""C'mon, Mooriel's going to be our vanguard. Though I think between the three of us you're the most capable of physically knocking Flitter out.">More noncommittal noises. A nose disappears back into the bag."It'd be great and powerfu-u-u-ul!">Grumbles and whimpers. A blue head peeks out, locks eyes with you, and the rest of the pony follows.
>>43043982Yep, straight from the source!
Inspired by a picture in the previous thread
>>43044856To be fair, opossums are immune to rabies so it's actually cleaner than picking up a random stray cat. They also eat ticks and other annoying bugs and now I'm thinking of a bigass barn opossum that hunts giant magic ticks.
>>43044856adorable!
>>43033752
>>43044739nice drink anonmare
>>43040931cute anonpony family
>>43045596Arizona tea is the last pillar holding up the economy. I dread to think what will happen if the price increases.
>>43044856This is great kek, I love how happy she is with her new best friend forever.
>>43044856Tiberius!
>>43045005Opposums are based as fuckImmune to rabies, generally friendly if not threatened, eat pests and can survive on trash scrapsHell, I'd have one as a pet if I didn't live in an apartment shithole and could actually afford a home for the little dude to meander about
>>43047114sleepy anonmare
>>43042367>didn't think of how either of us were going to piss like that.The problem does not exist.
>>43047114Does anonmare snore?
>>43047768No, she's so fat she s'mores
>>43046509Who is this pone on the right?
>>43048340Okey Doki Loki, one of Jargon Scott's anonmare x shitcorn foal OCs
>>43048721What a name, lol. I love her.
>>43050142As a skunk
pre bed
>>43050563Get anonmare her couch!
>>43050985Couch for the fat cooch!
>>43051502working anonmare working very hard on work stuff
>>43044175>And so, a cow, a mare, and another mare are trotting through the dark, a soft blue glow the only light between their origin and destination>It's surprisingly quiet away from the camp, with only hoofsteps and the occasional sounds of distant conflict breaking up the calm>Well, that and->>"Why is The Great and Powerful Trixie expected to perform!? And without her costume, or-">She keeps complaining>Like, a lot>Doesn't help that it's taking several minutes to cross a football field, but any faster than this and you'll trip on something.>>"And furthermore-""TRIXIE! It's simple- Mooriel tries to scare them into stopping, and you punch Flitter if that doesn't work. Simple!">>"And how is Trixie expected to reach a flying-">She stops in her place, her eyes screwed upwards at her own horn>>"-Oh right. Magic. Duh.">For some ungodly reason, you kept walking even when Trixie stopped, and your boldness is rewarded by faceplanting right into some kind of soft wall."MMMMMMF- OW! MMMF! HLLP!">Aw fuck- your face went right in! Feels like the cotton candy crap again! And it collapsed tight around your neck! How the fuck!? You're stuck!>The ground underneath you is still slick, so maybe put your hooves on the wall? No, forelegs! Distribute the force so you don't->Crunch>Fuck that made it worse- you pushed your head farther up! And the wall is like fucking quicksand with a spine so of COURSE the hole your head is in basically moved with you!>You're reared up a bit now, you can just kiiiiind of yank your forelegs free and->Nope>Fuck>This is just like that time Pinkie found you in her washing machine!>Actually, it's worse- you had a legitimate reason that time!>Well, if it's like the cotton candy, try punching in and pulling your neck down?>Cronch>Cronch>Yerrrg>HnnnnngOW>GACK! NO! The malevolent fondant foundation has hardened in an attempt to cut your throat! Stay still!>A big bovine mouth clamps around your tail and yanks you out of the soft, leather-crispy substrate"The fuck is that? A taffyberg!?">Softer hoofbeats behind you. Trixie catching up- Christ, you can HEAR the tsk tsking even in the way she walks!>>"Oh for- even Trixie knows better than to- what the? That wasn't there when I was diving!">"Ho-o-o-w on Earth can you tell?">>Trixie points at a set of heavy, armored hoofprints, and follows them with her nose to the ground until she's right at the edge of the 'berg. "Because Trixie walked right through this spot!">You all ruminate on that for a moment"Alright, makes sense. Maybe a lot of sediment gathered here when the water drained? There's... yeah, that pink spot is a lot pinker than the rest? Some of those poles were still working... I dunno, could also just be more Pinkie Pie bullshit.">"Yep.">>"Indeed... Are you hurt?" Trixie asks more rhetorically than anything, leaning in close to examine you herself. "No fresh cuts it seems- nor any reopened.""Yeah, I think I'm fine. Neck hurts though."
>>43052048>And it collapsed tight around your neck!>You're stuck!Oh Celestia that would be a pretty grim way to die. Stay alive mares!
>>43052091Pinkie could make a killing selling her bath bombs as chemical weapons, but unfortunately the spa's laundry detergent is a made-in-house trade secret
>>43049446Cheers, Anonmare!
>>43052790CURSEOFMAREBITS FROSTBITE
>>43053250Better than curse of marebits hotfoot
>>43049316>>43049446that's a filly
>>43053894A filly is just a short mare with a big head
>>43054153ready for the equestrian wild west!
>>43054864I wish I could hold her filthy, unwashed self in my lap as we watch compilations of Family Guy funny moments
>>43055272>And now I, Princess Quaglestia, will use the Elements of Giggity to cleanse Princess Lois of her virginity!
>>4305486432y/o Anon Mare distracts herself from the crippling reality that she let her life turn out exactly the same as it once did on Earth.-Manehatten, Equestria, 8/16/2001
>>43054395tired anonmare
>>43055676Man why you gotta hurt me like that
Pre groceries boop
>>43056152Are (You) Anon Mare?
>>43056393Servant Anonmare! Bring us some chicken tendies!
>>43033752Someone posted this in the anoncolt thread, is it finished yet?
>>43056988Doesn't seem like it, sadly.
>>43056872Anonmare can only afford chicken toughies (made with beak and feet)
>>43057430It'll do!
>>43054864she's just like me frfr
>>43058260>50-somethingunf
>>43052048>Aight, back to walking!>Nothing noteworthy happens the rest of the way>Just you, the reassuring heft in Mooriel's steps, and the alluring swing in Trixie's hips>Unf>Coming up on the grotto now. Where once there was the nicest fucking bathtubs you've ever seen, now there's only walls toppled haphazardly like dominos. Beyond Trixie's light, you can make out lumpy outlines where globs of confectionary war crime have settled.>The handymare in you weeps silent tears for the ruined facades and blown pipes. FUCK, come to think of it->>Trixie mirrors your thoughts before they reach your mouth: "Wait, if the spa was built right over the hot water tank, how long do you think Ponyville's water is going to be out?">You prick your ears up towards Mooriel muttering. You miss most of it but she definitely said something like 'cops' and 'fuel.' Trixie's ears turned, too, and she seems scared. Nothing major, but you're sure you saw her tense up at "cops.">Anyway, came here for a reason- where the hell is the commotion?>The group trots forward a bit, you swivel your ears all around, but-"Huh. Haven't heard the fighting in a minute or-">Right as you say that, the shadows against the closest wall shift. Stepping closer, Trixie's light reveals the two pegasi you're looking for...>But no Pinkie!"Alright, break it up-">Flitter shoots towards you and shuts your mouth, speaking in a harsh and panicked whisper. "SHUDDUP! SHE DISAPPEARED! WE PICKED THAT FALLEN THING UP AND SHE'S NOT UNDER-">The ground rumbles and derails her train of thought. Bulk's head is darting every which way. Trixie is now hanging off of you. Mooriel can only mutter an 'oh dear.'>>>Confetti bursts from a broken pipe, and out comes The Pink One, ammo case in her mouth and a bunch of rope and bandoliers tied around her body. "TIME FOR A SEARCH PARTY, BABY!">That fucking cricket again. Breathing. Somewhere, someone shits themselves. Probably Bulk. And then the deluge of words begins...>>>"Yeah sorry, so anyway Flitter saw me sneaking Bulk some sugar (not a euphemism it was just sugar) and went on the war path, I had to play whack-a-pone for a minute or two before I could find the stage exits-""What-">>>"I went back to camp to hide behind you guys but you weren't there cause Davenport sent you to help me (he's really nice) and then he was like 'we gotta find a way outta here' and I was like 'well doesn't the reservoir connect to the rest of the Ponyville water system?' and he was like 'yeah' so I was like 'yay I love search parties they're my fifth favorite kind of party' (free cupcake to whomsoever can guess my favorite party :D) so anyway since you girls are already here I figured I'd just bring some rope and those dynamite things and we could head on down!">You're not 100% sure what happened next, though that's normal for Ponk Shock victims
>>43058260UNF
>>43057430What about chicken averagies? (Made exclusively out of the skin)
>>43058368No such thing. Either they suck and they fall under toughies, or you get KFC/Bojangles skins and it's food of the gods.
>>43058260She's so damn hot what the hell!
>>43058891comfy sofa for anonmare
>>43059397Kek.
>>43059397literally me
>>43047322Opossums fucking rule, but they only live like, two or three years, so they're a very sad pet.
>>43061850happy anonmare with football :D
>>43058324>When the ringing and jibberjabber finally subside, there's a big hole in front of you. Everyone's gathered around, Pinkie is hopping with anticipation, Trixie is dazed and foncused- CONFUSED.>And there's something heavy on your flanks. Besides your flanks themselves, of course->It's YOUR saddlebag! Or at least, a perfect copy- and the shot shells are in there?"Pinkie-">>>"Rarity always keeps spares of our bags for 'accessory emergencies.' Weird, huh?" >She bats her baby blues innocently, and you cannot for the life of you tell if she's bullshitting you.>Both about Rarity having spare bags for all, and about Pinkie thinking it's weird.>Flitter, having just blinked the confusion out, says "Alright, we'll lift you guys down there but I'm not going the rest of the way if SHE'S going.">Bulk, apparently having flown off, flies back with a flare. Too plain to be Pinkie's, must be from the suit or the emergency kit.You whisper to Pinkie while he wrestles with the igniter- "Huh, you're surprisingly cool about Flitter hating you-">>>She returns a look of utter bewilderment, "HUH? What? No! She obviously LOVES hating me- that makes us FRENEMIES silly!">Right behind her, Flitter's face scowls like she stepped in dog shit, shaking side to side so slowly you can practically hear her vertebrae creak like a rusty hinge.>>>"See? She loves not loving meEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA">The entire party screams, ducks and covers as the flare assaults your dilated pupils-"Oh fuck I can see the veins in my eyelids! DROP IT ALREADY!">>"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT DROPPING IT NOW!">You open your eyes and blink while making wet animal noises, waiting for your eyes to readjust to the dark."Fucking hell, Bulk! Warn us fir- wait, Trixie, why aren't you-">Your marefriend (holy shit) is not cowering or dazed, instead staring down her nose at the rest of you with her usual smirk.>"The Great and Powerful Trixie works with explosives- her eyes have developed defenses against overstimulation!">>"Is this a bit? Are you- fuck, you're not going to tell me are you?">>>A sheepish attempt to shrink away from you. "Trixie noticed him lighting the flare and covered her eyes... Why didn't you!?">>Fuck, she's right."Alright. Well, Miss Cunning and Observant, since your eyes aren't shot to shit-">"Yeah, yeah, lemme-" she gets down on her belly and cranes her head over the edge of the pit, "huh- it's not nearly as deep as Trixie thought.">She shimmies forward and down, and you hear a hollow, metallic knocking. "Looks like a maintenance tunnel running right next to the water main! Pinkie was right!">Hot damn"Alright! So all we gotta do is get to the water plant and tell someone!"
>>43062336>You wince, and get the sense that everyone in the dark is doing so as well.>Hunched over, eyes shut, eventually, with one eye open to the ceiling-"Well, shit- half expected something to explode or something. Ha...">Another duck and cover. Another held breath. Another single eye, opened slowly."No? Well shit, let's get down there before our luck runs out!">You and Pinkie start lowering your rumps into the hole. It's a short drop and some sliding down a muddy gravel ramp, careful not to bang your head against the piece of pipe that had been connected to that river pole.>Your adrenaline spikes when the shotgun strap gets caught on that pipe for a second. You shimmy it off with little trouble, but it leaves you with shaking legs and icy veins.>In no time at all, you find yourself in something not unlike a sewer walkway. Except way cleaner and not horrible because even the shit parts of pony society are usually nicer than on Earth.>Before anyone can start arguing over going forward or backward, you see a massive cow ass lowering itself into the tunnel."Uh, are you sure you want to-">>"Dooooon't mind me girls!""Well I don't mind you, it's just it's a tight tunnel-">>"Well, if you're planning on sending a rescue team through them, it stands to reason I'll have to cross them sometime. Might as well dooooo it now!">She talks while she climbs, punctuating occasionally with grunts and scrabbles and squishing sounds, eventually getting her whole body in the tunnel.>Not as tight of a fit as you thought. Funny, there's JUST enough room for her to turn around. Almost like....>Nah. That's fucking stupid.>>"Let's head for the water heater- it's gotta have some crew on it, right? And I'm cooooooooold from being wet and dirty for a day and a half!">Trixie starts to open her mouth, but shuts it and huddles closer to you>Unf
>>43060493yummy spaghetti
>9
>>43063308Very busy anonmare!
>>43063308Busy at the kitchen doing nothing?
>>43063705Hey someone has to make sure that paint dries! You never know, living in the same town as Pinkie and Discord...
>>43064053Rude.
>>43061259cute vest, anonmare!
>>43065032Birthday mare!
>>43065032totally very happy birthday anonmare!!!
>>43066032>rape
>>43066926anonmare on holiday!
>>43067453Christmas has come early for Anonmare
>>43067992cute!!!
>>43044856
>>43066692very serious anonmare
>>43062338>So begins the hour of boredom>Trixie is in the lead with her light, Mooriel is taking up the back, and Pinkie keeps randomly hip checking you and waggling her eyebrows at you>At least when that's happening, it's something->Otherwise, nothing to do but walk, jump at shadows, and politely ignore how bad you all smell>Oh, but occasionally you're treated to....>A SMALL PUDDLE! or perhaps her ladyship would prefer A STEAMING PIPE?>It really has been an hour hasn't it?>You could've walked halfway to Canterlot by now>Stupid fucking plot-sensitive geography, stupid fucking transdimensional interiors>Why is it that every building is bigger on the inside!?>You're not even going to question how it's possible, just WHY is EVERY building like that!?>It's not just the spa or the waterworks tunnels- Sugarcube Corner, Carousel Boutique, the treebrary->Oh, wait, there's ONE building that's as small and shitty as it looks- YOUR HOUSE.>Huh>Actually, not pissed at that. Kinda nice not having magical nonsense infecting your residence.>Plus, it makes your house unique, doesn't it?>Feh. Unique. Like it's a sideshow attraction->Come one, come all, to see the magnificent physics-obeying hovel! Marvel at how this sweaty fat bitch stores all her things!>Lose your mind and your lunch as her sanity somehow survives the ordeal of... not having... to heat... a huge interior?>Okay, you're not Trixie, you don't have her showmareship, calm down>Christ, Trixie probably COULD make a show out of your house- come to think of it, did her wagon do that shit? You never saw the inside of it...>(Are you suuuuuuuuuuure it wasn't in a season you don't like?)>Squint>Turn your head to the left>A very pink mare batting her lashes like she does when she knows she's being cunty>(I have a cunt so I'm always at least a little bit cunty, silly. It's just math- I'm part cunt! Just like you and Trixie and Twilight and-)"Pinkie are you psychic or is this an element bearer thing?">>>"Yes.">Goddammit>Wait, shit, that was out loud!>Trixie is looking at you with fearwilderment (dang it you beat me to it!)>Mooriel is..... unfazed? Huh.>Just another reason to like her.
>>43069739Oh no! Metal fork in microwave! BOOOM!
>>43069186Pretty much the most omnipotent Pinkie I’ve seen in a green. Perhaps Eldrich in nature.
>>43070002It's ok, exploding will cook the food even faster!
>>43070092But the microwave will be destroyed and anonmare needs it to cook food
>>43070433Pinkie Pie probably keeps a prison full of microwaves she uses to punish bad food
>>43069739Nachos?
>>43070918Sad sack nachos- cheese just lazily piled on top
>>43071972Delicious.
Lol ok
>>43072034
>>43072483Thank you, my dear.
>>43072497She made nuggets for the numget
>>43071396Business Anonmare! Investing in the tendies.
>>43072912Unfortunately, most ponies don't buy tendies so now Anonmare is sleeping on Dyx's basement couch
>>43071662Cute!
>>43073870nice
>>43073870Thirsty Anonmare!
>>43069186>Clip>Clop>Clip>Clop>Yep>Clip>Clop>Whole lotta nothing happening.>Clip>Clop>Occasionally you pass by some tighter side passages, or a little side area carved into the wall, lined with pipes and valves and the occasional locker.>Clip>Clop>What few signs you've passed are clearly some alphanumeric code for pipes and valve lines, you've yet to see ANY directions towards major nodes>Or Processing>Or EXIT>Or even the damn->Hold up."So, Mooriel-">"Yep?""You suggested the water heater.">"Yep.""Pretty sure we were IN the town's hot water tank. Spa was built over it, then we sank?">Trixie's ears are pricked up. She's listening intently, almost seems... nervous? Hard to tell from just the back of her head, but there's subtle movements like she's trying to look for something.>"Ayeahp, I 'member you saying something like that. I dunno-o-o-o for sure, but that'd make sense.""So-">"So what?">>>Pinkie is suddenly on Mooriel's head, craning forward to look her upside-down in the eyes. "So shouldn't the water heater be UNDER the big hot water tank?" she says, without a hint of negativity. Like a kid saying water's wet.>Mooriel looks a little pissed now. "You accu-u-u-u-u-using me of something or something there?">Fuck. Eyes forward- Trixie's tensed up.>Something's gonna give soon. Just be careful, you all know each other, you can defuse this. Just->God. You never thought you'd utter these words even to yourself.>What>Would>Twilight>Do?
>>43074950>GAG.>Actually- Twilight would probably make it worse.>She'd try to help by attacking a problem or something.>She'd stir the pot without even meaning to.>Yeah. Now is not the time for reading from some psychology journal or ancient friendship philosopher's memoirs.>What Would AJ Do?>....Eh, assume she's right (even if she is) and piss everyone off by being all correct about it, but in a down home sorta way instead of a nerd way.>More sounds of arguing between Mooriel and Pinkie. Rude words relating to mothers have been uttered. Trixie is starting to wince at every word.>Fuck!>What Would Rarity- (EGADS! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW WE ARE COMMUNICATING AT THIS MOMENT, DARLING, BUT YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE IMAGINING ME IN SOME RANK DRIPPING TUNNEL! P.S. I hope the saddlebag satisfies your... ugh, spartan taste.)>Yeah. That's- Rarity wouldn't be down here in the first place. >Yep. >Also, one point for that being an element bearer thing and not a Pinkie thing?>>>"OH YEAH? WELL YOU ACT LIKE YOU'RE FILLET MINGON BUT YOU'RE BARELY ARBY'S!">Alright, panic time imminent!>Uh, uh, fuck- What Would Fluttershy Do?>Panic. Next pony->Pinkie. Pinkie just called Mooriel unfit to 'work' at the worst Taco Bell in the world. Jesus fucking CHRIST, NEXT!>That leaves Rainbow Dash. Uh.....>Hey! There's a much larger passage up ahead, branching off to the right. Smoother, with proper concrete instead of carved rock and wet sticky dirt.>Sign's relatively legible and intact- kind of. MAIN B-?>Well, it would be legible if Trixie's light weren't flickering in a breeze that makes your head itch.>Wait->Breeze!?>You're underground! There shouldn't->A gnarly sound, in the darkness ahead. The kind that makes your horsebrain want to bolt. The entire group stops dead in their tracks, causing Pinkie to tumble forward onto the ground.>>Trixie glances over her shoulder at you, wearing the same worried face as you. "Anon, load that thing please. Mooriel- this larger tunnel. Probably leads to something, yes?">"I-i-i-i dunno- shouldn't we go together? W-w-w-w-hy split up?"
>>43075023>The idea of using this in combat so soon puts ice in your veins, but needs must.>You drop your saddlebags to use as a rest, lean the gun against one, grab a shell and->Well>Fuck>This isn't working->>"Anon?">"W-w-w-hy are we standing and fighting!? Even Pinkie's going all straight-maned!">Another blink in the light. Another flash of a cold itch. Another godzilla-ass growl.>Hooves are shaking. You miss the chamber.>Once, twice, thrice, GAH>Breathe. Slow is precise, precise is fast.>>"Mooriel- Anon and Pinkie fought an ALICORN.">"Dodged one! And you never fought a-">>"An ursa wouldn't FIT here! A bear might- and Trixie HAS fought a brown bear!">NOW, the shell glides in. Pump forward. Ready to fire.>Reach out with your magic, keep ready to fire while you load the->Hey! Your horn is working again! A little, at least. Your field of influence is small and weak. Enough to pull a trigger, even if you have to keep loading by hoof and mouth.>Wait- your horn is working again??>You realize now, that breeze was the first time in an hour or two that your horn itched. Or, rather, it's like->>"Mooriel, look, that tunnel CLEARLY leads somewhere important! You were right! Go! We'll be right behind-">"Kid, y-y-y-you're crazy! Stick tog-g-g-">Another flicker. Another itch. Another sound, closer.>No. Not itchy. More like a leg you sat on wrong: Pins and needles fade as the blood comes back; but it flares up when you try to put weight on it->Another flicker. Weight on your half-asleep horn- not the weight of your body, but magic! A surge of magic from Trixie's horn!>Trixie has been casting spells! Wait, why->Something horrible. A sound like an eagle breaking into your walls to steal your copper wire.>As soon as Mooriel hears it, it's like her higher brain functions shut down, and she bolts down the larger tunnel, screaming about chupacabras.>A few seconds later, a crash and an 'oooooof' echoes through the tunnels>>"Ok, that'll buy us a minute or two. You loaded that thing, yes?">As soon as you answer in the affirmative, Trixie nudges you in her magic field, getting your little weapon emplacement turned around towards where Mooriel went."Trixie- I know you did something! What the fuck!?">>"Well I couldn't just stop the group for nothing and ask you to load your gun.""That doesn't answer SHIT, Trix! What the fuck even was that!?">>"Heh, took some inspiration from you. Simple shadow spell to deepen a storage bay into a long tunnel. A TK field to mess with my voice, and good old-fashioned ventril- HEY! Keep ready to fire that!">"O-o-o-o-f. Ugh. Did I hear someone say they did that on purpose!? Soon as- bleagh, soooooooon as I find my hooves-"
>>43075147"Wh-what!? Trixie, I don't wanna shoot Mooriel- The fuck are you even on!?">>She takes your cheeks in her hooves, "Look, you were right to question her about this place. It doesn't add up- we SHOULD be going lower, and it's been way too long to just turn back and go the other way!">That is true, but it's not damning on its own. After all-"Fuck- Trixie, I don't- Really? It was a fifty percent chance, she just happened to make the decision! We'll get somewhere eventually-">>"Look, Mooriel is up to something. She knows WAY too much about drugs, she's less scared of blood than even YOU, and through the suit's communication network I was informed she's even had Pinkie Pie-">>Frantic looking around. She ends the sentence in a whisper quieter than the grave: "dumping bodies.">Hold her gaze. Her face is more scared than ever, but her eyes are steady.>Before you can answer, hooves clatter in the shadows. Mooriel's moving.>>"I want answers, that's all. You with the gun for insurance, just in case it's ten times worse than I feared and she-">A large body stumbles into something metal, moves side to side a bit, then out of the shadowy alcove->An almost jovial voice rumbles out, "Yo-o-o-ou actually got me! Ha ha! Ha." as a scowling, stomping cow beelines for..... PINKIE!? "You'd better have a flank-slappingly hilarious reason for doing that, rat." She snarls.>>>Oh shit. Pinkie is still Pinkamena'd. She's even shaking. "R-r-r-rat!? I only wrote a little bit down in my-">"YOU WROTE IT DOWN!? ALRIGHT, YOU LITTLE- oh. Heh. Uh...." Mooriel finally glances at you and Trixie. "Kinda... forgot you two..... heheh... concussion and- oh, that's the bomb launcher isn't it?">>"Yes, fully loaded too. Trixie will have answers now. What's your deal!?">"Kid, you have no-o-o-o idea what you're doing." She sighs, and continues in an almost offensively even tone. "Look, it was a clever trick, I respect it, just drop this manure and let's move-""Mooriel. What the fuck did you have Pinkie do?">>>"Buried dead-WOAH!">A raised hoof and a nubby horn close to her neck stops Pinkie from answering. "SHUDDUP, PIE. OOOOH, I'M-">You rack the pump, cancelling Mooriel's queued actions and establishing your authority. God, even in a world without guns, that shit just works.>Doesn't even matter that you just threw out a shell when you have 8 more."Mooriel.">No response, save the narrowing of eyes.>A standoff, then. You with the gun, Mooriel in position to strangle or gore Pinkie. You can almost hear the spaghetti western music.>Wait- why hasn't Pinkie done... something? (repeat pan repeat pan oh Nonnovar we're stuck in a repeat pan no mark or recall can function here, is it not too late for the mercy of Hanna and Barbera? lay down your-)>Fuck.
>>43074429I cant believe Anonmare swore! What if the fillies hear that word!
>>43075555Then they'll be a lot cooler
>>43069186>pinkie knows about the mlp cartoon>pinkie knows that anonmare used to be an anon>pinkie knows anonmare disliked certain seasons and refused to watch themToo powerful
>>43076166anonmare will take that vault that has lots of oats inside!
>>43076538funny looking weapon
>>43076727Yeah, inside her mouth, cuz she a fatass
>>43077137Anonfilly is very angry that Anonmare is not listening to her
>>43077495Deep down, she's jealous of Anonmare's ability to not be bothered
>>43077923Kinda weird for a pony to have a red solo cup
>>43078159im sure there is more off screen where Dyx brings her alcoholic beverages to drink
>>43077004>The Mane 7 were gathered in Anon's yard slash workspace>They were quite surprised to be invited to an unveiling of... some prokect>Even more when she proposed making a proper event out of it>Just a year before, none of them could have seen themselves being so... neighborly>Especially not Anon>But saving the world together tends to change ponies>Regardless, Applejack had provided the cider, Pinkie Pie the desserts, Spike had roped the cutie mark crusaders into running a taco stand...>Rainbow Dash pulled some strings here, conveniently forgot a few things there, ensuring the entire property was the one part of Ponyville not currently drenched and gloomy>Even Fluttershy spent the entire week in intense ceasefire negotiations with the local ants>Nothing was ruining this backyard picnicue funstravaganza>The meal was served, games were played, but eventually nopony could contain their curiosity as Anon finally went into her shed and came out with...>"Anon, is that ANOTHER infantry-scaled repeating cannon!? I thought we agreed you'd lock those up outside of emergencies!" Twilight said>Anon cocked her head in confusion, but laughed off the accusation."No! I can see why you'd think that, but this is just an experiment in magical force multiplication!">She drank up the resulting confusion for a moment, then elaborated-"A wand? Duh?">>Rainbow Dash hovered closer, peering intently at the object. "Not that I don't think it's hilarious- I do- but even I'd think twice before flaunting the Princess THAT hard!">Anon shook her head."Dashie, Twilight, I swear this isn't a joke or another tirade about gun control. Everything in this device is the way it is because that's what I've found to work best. Look-">She gestured at the gunstock and grip,"Having this big tail portion and protrusion gives a lot of leverage and a lot of good angles to hold onto. And this-">She lowered the wand so she could tap the glassy square on top"-isn't anything as crude as a scope or optic. It's a programmable glass spellbook- look, it's got stores of reactive ink you can use to draw all sorts of runes and circles and they won't burn up on use. It's like a spellbook and a scroll and a wand at the same time!">A few polite oohs and ahhs from the non-magically inclined crowd followed, but Twilight's jaw was on the floor.>"A-anon, this is amazing! Imagine how many unicorns never reach their full potential, with tuition costs and time and- You might have just revolutionized the very study of magic! Just one question...""Yeah?">"What's the tube on the, uh, bottom?""Oh, that's a grenade launcher."
>>43078407kino
>>43079478mecha anonmare!
>>43078801Anonmare always win the snowball fight.
>>43080426Not even trying yet she still gets all the stallions.
>>43080186suspiciously shaped gift there
>>43080853love beeg anonmare
>>43081117if anonmare doesn't look down then she shouldn't fall and it will be all fine
>>43081401Wil E Coyote falls is advanced toon physics, is she truly ready?
>>43080645I didn't notice until you pointed it out
>>43081739lel it's quite noticable when its the odd one out of the square/rectangle gift boxes
>>43082961Dumb and Dumber and Dumbest
>>43083207Nyx isn't dumb!!
>>43075148>Seconds pass in minutes, through a lazy river of adrenaline>You're doing your best to not shake too much>Mooriel is made of stone>Pinkie is practically a wet sack of straight mane>Trixie is right beside you, doing her best to not shake *too* obviously>...The fuck do we do now?>The question hangs in the air. Nobody said it but everybody's thinking->"We both know y-o-o-o-o-u can't shoot me without hitting Ratty Pie!">Shit, she's right, what to do what to->>"Mutually. Assured. Destruction." Trixie's still shaking, but her voice is smooth and steady as time itself.>Mooriel's facade cracks, and overcorrects into a scowl>The scowl holds for a minute. A long goddamn minute.>Part of you wants to strangle Trixie, but the fact that she was right about Mooriel->All you can do is hold the gun steady. Think- if you shoot it right behind her, maybe she'll take the full blast and Pinkie will only get winged a little?>Fuck, then you'd have to drag her->Mooriel's cracking a smile. Even chuckling a little.>A real smile, with her eyes too, not just a psycho grin. What!?>"Hee hee hoo ho-o-o-o-o-o-o you two are nuts! First you got me with the classic paint-a-hole trick, and now greenie's the coldest bitch I ever met! Alright, I was gonna let you in on it anyway, 'fore the damn spa blew up.">She makes a big show of shoving Pinkie right at your gun, and walks a little out of the way of your gun without getting any closer.>You glance at Trixie. She's as confused as you are.>"Alright, we standing down or not? Not my first time getting held up, y'know.">You didn't even think this far ahead, you have no idea how to->Hm"Alright, we'll make this simple- lay on your legs and I'll empty all but one.">"All but one, huh?""If I really wanted to kill you, you already gave me your hostage.">"Ha! Alright, hoss, layin' on m'legs.">You wait a second while she gets down, not wanting to immediately throw your cards out, before pumping out the tube.>7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1->You hold the bolt open on the last shell. Little show of good faith, give her a second to rethink her actions if she tries something stupid.>Progress! Progress apparently looks like a cow going full loaf with Pinkie lying between you, muttering something about Tex Avery."Alright- so, what the FUCK is going on with you and, honestly, why are you still cool with me after.... well, my marefriend roped me into tryna kill you?">>"NOT KILL HER, JUST GET-""Shuddup, Trixie! Seriously- why should we trust you after starting this?">"Simple: taking things to-o-o-o personal is never good for business.">...>Oh for fuck's sake, Mooriel is staring right at you. She really expects-"You'reworsethanpinkiepie ALRIGHT, and what business is that!?">"An entirely legitimate one-""Mooriel, I still got one in the tube. Push my hoof forward on this thing and it's ready to fire.">She sighs and shakes her head at your saddlebags. "The hay you think the leather for that comes from?"
>>43083382Dios mio.
>>43083713Cute anonmare!
>>43083713I want to cum inside Madragon's anonmare
>>43083961I read this with the FAITH's Father GarcÃa TTS voice
>>43084374fishing time :D
>>43084374did she bring her master bait?
>>43086329cute!
>>43086329Anon and Nonette
>>43086329me and my mom
>>43087279But the plot twist is that the tall one is you and the babby one is your mom.
>>43083382"Fuck, I always assumed it was pig leather? There's no way you're skinning ponies.">>"Yes, Trixie assumed it was pigs. Possibly assorted Everfree beasts as well, but mostly pigs.">A long pause. Pinkie is still out, now she's reciting the script for Steamboat Willie.>Yep, every single musical note.>"No-o-o-o-o you theatrical fools, how would I get away with disappearing taxpaying citizens so often! It's- wait did you say pig?""Yeah.">"...Shit. Yeah, it's pig.""So you mean to say: you run all the pig-related industries?">"At least in P-o-o-o-onyville, but we all talk, yeah.""....FUCK, so THAT'S why I saw Pinkie dragging a skinned pig out behind my house!? That was good bacon! Gave me the shits but it was worth.">>"Oooh, we should go to Nawlins and get a crab po'boy together andWait, YOU KNEW PINKIE WAS DISPOSING OF PIGS!? AND ONLY NOW-">You put a hoof to her mouth"Yeah, this was a few months ago, before we were even friends. Didn't remember til' just now. Besides, it's Pinkie. She-">>Now Trixie closes your mouth. "No no, you're right, that's all you had to say." She glances back at Mooriel, "Hold on- you're telling Trixie that you're the prime supplier for a material used in basically EVERY industry to some extent- books, armor, clothing, accessories, tools-">"Yep.">>"So, you *can* operate openly and this is just some Weird Rich Creature Boredom thing, right?">"Y-o-o-o-ou would think." She responds in a weary voice.>>"No really, why are you not one of the most well-known entrepeneurs in the country!? This makes no sense!""Taxes? I'd assume it's-"
>>43087696>"Shut your mouth! I pay my damn taxes, or I'd be dealing with the ERS AND the cops! It's just, as far as the government knows, Ponyville Porkers LLC is nothing but a city-owned corporation that handles the sale of truffles and rental of truffling-related services and equipment..." there was a bit of a marketing sing-song in that. Probably has a lot of practice saying it."But why is anyone in the government out to get you!?">"Because I'm suspicious! Because I CAN'T operate in the open without ponies getting a hair up their shitholes about it! And because of THAT, my operation looks 10 times more suspicious to anyone who gives us more than a passing glance!">>"Really? But-">You grab Trixie's face with both hooves"Trixie- most ponies aren't us. They're not asocial retards who keep trying to make eating meat work. They're not travelling performers who get in fights with... did you say a BEAR!?">>"A bear stole my sandwich once, so I took it back.""...Right. Most ponies are dumb motherfuckers. Head-in-sand nerds who hate blood as much as they love not being eaten by things that'll only leave us alone if we kill a few of them.">>"It didn't ever seem to occur to those boys that they could've died luring that ursa...""Yeah. Hell, take Davenport like a day ago! Dude fucking lost his shit over me having a weapon despite him serving in the.... wait, is the coast guard even part of the navy? I don't think it- nevermind!">Mooriel watches with a slowly brightening expression. God, you are intimately familiar with how lonely it is being the only idiot with half a working brain in this town...>>"Bunch of conceited, bleeding-heart hippies who fill their days with pointless busywork like the running of the leaves, or..."".... or truffle hunting. Goddammit, that purser bitch actually DOES have an important job?">Mooriel is ecstatic just hearing you work this all out, but Trixie's face is much darker->>"Trixie cannot live in such a world and humbly requests the leather matron skin and cure her at the earliest possible convenience."
>>43087560no
Pweb
>>43085783lol anonmare cant see with her massive mane!
>>43085211Beeg hips, Anonmare!
>>43088805For you
>>43085024anonmare is working very hard!
Anonmare is princess cadence's bitch sister. The sour apple to her sweet strawberry
>>43089421comfy
>>43089528Strawberry Sunrise?
>>43089737She Strawberry Surmises that Celestia is a cunt
>>43088067Sorry anon you have no say in the matter. You are anonmare. Your mom is anonfilly. She is legally your mom too, so you can't squirrel out of it by some bullshit legalese.
>>43091010Threesome with Anonmare and Trixie!
>>43089528The Princess of Love, Princess Celestia's adoptive niece Cadence and Celestia's other adopted niece, Anon. No title, adopted just to get the one that actually matters.
>>43091041Biggest plot twist would be that Anonmare is the true ruler of Love, but she thinks that's some gay/woke shit so she dumps her job onto Cadence.
>>43091010>spa_girls.pngLove it but they should also have nasty sparkly pink splotches from all the bath bomb sludge. Ponyville's water system is filthier than the bayou right now.
>>43091221I didn't know how to translate that to vector style, looked weird. If you have an example, I could try to add it.
>>43091383I can barely draw a straight line myself. Wish I could help.
>>43091010Nice work!
>>43090594evil anonmare!
>>43092170Cool bandana hat.
>>43091977She looks at you the way I look at tacos
>>43093146Why is her daughter orange?
>>43093478Mom ate too many carrots while pregnant
>>43094110Anonmare could solo defend Canterlot from the changeling invasion with a M-16
>>43094539Y'know, Twilight never tried just sitting down with her villains and hitting them. Maybe she should've.
>>43093146ear nom nom!
>>43095186The ear is the second tastiest part
REEE!
>>43096433>eats hot carpet
>>43095758Looks possessed
>>43087698>Everyone laughs for a bit, before remembering you all were trying to kill each other a second ago>It makes the standoff continue a little longer>Well, continue is a strong word>Everyone's still tense but your hoof is off the trigger>Mooriel breaks the silence. "So-o-o-o-o.""So... We... we cool?">"Hope s-o-o-o-o.">You glance at Trixie; she shrugs."Not gonna try and kill Pinkie?">"Eh, I was never gonna KILL her, just beat the snot out of her. I'm not THAT much of a psycho-o-o; even if I were, bodies lead to the kind of heat that grills your rump 'fore you know it.">Trixie scans Mooriel's face for a moment, and visibly relaxes.>Since the crisis seems over, you safe your gun and start picking up the ejected shells while Trixie talks->>"For what it's worth, the 'paper trail' was only accessible because Trixie had access via the suit. She is told Pinkie's cave is normally impossible to break into.">Mooriel pauses for a moment. "Eh, honestly? I knew she could be trusted. It's just... she didn't write down 'I got rid of a dead pig,' did she?">>"Correct- it was vague enough that Trixie immediately assumed dead ponies.">"Of co-o-o-ourse. Welp..." She glances down both ends of the tunnel. "Something magic is going on, right? Has to-o-o-o be.""Mmmfhrdhr-">Ptooie! You spit that shell back into the box."Sorry. I think I heard her say a repeat pan? Which... I think that's a cartooning technique to save money with a scrolling background or something? Uh... not liking the implications there.">You all glance at Pinkie, who is now alternating between foaming at the mouth and chanting 'ia Jabberjaw! ia Speedbuggy!'>You pause with the last shell in your mouth. Jabberjaw? Wasn't that some crummy Scooby Doo knockoff!?>"We should've been there hours ago. Any idea what to do about that? Or Pinkie?">>"Thrice-damnation! Trixie is on lamp duty, she is NOT carrying her!">"I'd prefer not to-o-o-o myself... M'wet enough already, y'know.""Alright- this is either gonna hard reset her brain or fry it completely. Wish me luck.">You stow your ammo box and sling your gun before walking the short distance over to where Pinkie is self-moistening on the moist muddy... mground?
>>43097009"Hey, Pinkie?">Tap her on the shoulder"Y'alright?">>>"lordjabberjawcomestodestroyusallaaaaaaaaa""Fuck.">Hope this works.>You take a deep breath and summon the best Frank Welker Impersonating Curly Impersonation you can."Eh, I get no respect! No respect at all!">>>"LE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP!" Pinkie rises into the air, shaking like a caffienated wet mop, and falls onto her hooves. Her mane, repoofed. Her pink, slightly brighter."You alright now?">>>"I hope so! We almost got eaten by an annoying musical fourth dimensional shark! Where'd you learn the incantation to repel Him!?">Trixie and Mooriel share a cascade of confused, fearful and relieved glances while you get up in Pinkie's face."I watched a lotta Boomerang as a kid. Can we fucking go now? Is the repeat pan done?">>>"Wow.""What!? Yes or no, Pinkie!">>>"Oh, yeah, I think the distances have collapsed properly... It's just...""WHAT!?">>>"What does watching a pony throwing a boomerang have to do with lifesaving esoteric magic? Is this what it's like when I start having combos?"
>>43096822silly billy anonmare
>>43097011Love this damn green keep em coming!>>43096280Darn cute Anon out on the town
>>43097275Anonmare is getting cheetos all over the cover!
>>43097521Shit, they charge extra for that
>>43097011why is there a floating text saying "gifs.com" in the bottom right corner?
>>43098185Fuck if I know, I got it from derpibooru
>>43098185Thats uhhh... Uhhhhhhhhh... The name of the camerapony that recorded it, yeah! Gifs Com(piler). He just signed his watermark *dries some sweat*, it's nothing to worry about!
>>43099053Queen of the ugly cunts!
>>43099348She hold her own wee anonfilly!
>>43099998"Look world, I got laid 11 months ago!"
>>43100464mpv > VLC
>>43097011>A_Few_Minutes_Later.mp3>A little arguing, bumping into each other, and yelling about which side the alcove was on is all it takes to get you back on track>Same marching order as before. Trixie in front, Mooriel in the back."Trixie, keep that light as bright as you can. I need to check something...">She shoots a questioning glance back at you, but says nothing and complies>You start looking at the walls as close as you can without stopping>And uh>You don't like the implications here->There are larger pipes running the entire length of the wall now. Green, yellow and red.>You look back and you can see pink glitter on the ground that you couldn't before>Hell, you can barely make out the glittery outline of the hole you climbed in... maybe 100 yards back?>But you DEFINITELY walked for an hour!>Your observations must've been more obvious and/or frantic than you intended; Pinkie gives you a look almost, but not quite, like motherly concern->Wait>It's Pinkie! She's psychic! Or, at least, she's weirdly good at using a power all seven of you SHOULD have? Fuck->Ponko? Panko Panera? Pringle Pee?>Hello? We need to talk about recent events!>Stare at her harder! Catch a glimpse of Mooriel's concern out of the corner of your eye.>Shit, from their perspective you're just scowling and staring at Pinkie. Come on!>You really don't want to scare the shit out of Trixie any more than you already have. How does this psychic crap work!?>Nothing?>Fuck.>You really need to discuss what the shit has been going on today, preferrably without traumatizing your future wife and your future part time Actually Legitimate Business Mob Boss>That harmonic brain shit might be shorted out, but Pinkie's huddled up close. Must've FINALLY took the hint!>She yelps as you stick your hoof into her mane and pull out...>No, you don't need a rubber chicken>No, you don't need a mallet>A chem light! Pinkie's been holding out!"Hey, I'm gonna sit with Pinkie for a bit, make sure she's alright. Pulled a glow stick out of her mane if you wanna keep going without us.">>Trixie looks at you like you just took a shit on her carpet. Maybe not that bad, but- "Yeah, no. No splitting up. Especially no leaving Trixie alone with the cow she tricked into slamming into a wall.">"Hey, I said it was co-o-o-ol. No hard feelings.">>"Just the same-">"Fair enough."
>>43101058>>>"Sorry, my mind is kind of closed off right now," Pinkie whispers. "Stress from trying to hide us from Jabberjaw.">You lean in and whisper back-"Jabberjaw? You're really sticking with that? Okay, and how exactly did you pro-">>>Pinkie's poker face plummets to a pout of pure... ptrauma? "Later, please!" She darts her eyes at Trixie."Trixie and Mooriel were IN that tunnel with us, dummy-">Raise your voice, just slightly louder than a normal speaking voice. Almost a little shout, even:"THEY WALKED FOR AN HOUR TOO!">>>Crickets again. Are they in the fucking pipes now?!>>Bump into Trixie as she stops to look at you, her face now one of serious worry. "Anon? We've been in here for maybe a few minutes?">What.>Look to Pinkie. Recieve the most sympathetic 'told-you-so' expression possible."But- we talked about being lost! Not going down, then you freaked out about Mooriel and pulled that painted tunnel trick!">>"Yes, that's-" Trixie's face twitches for a moment. Half her mouth tries to frown. An eyelid throbs. "-That's all true, but it happened in five minutes?">Look around. Everypony is stony-faced."Heh. Alright, maybe my head's still fucked up, right?">Trixie looks past you, probably at Mooriel, sharing that look of tired fear. She's thinking, 'oh no, she really is brain damaged.'>>"Let's just... keep going, and get you to a doctor, okay?""Yeah. Sure.">Little more walking. Little more pondering.>Pass some actual side tunnels. See some actual working lights. Catch a whiff of a real-ass sewer through one of the corridors.>Yeah, no. The consuming shadows and weird cave quickly gave way to artifice and planned infrastructure.>Still sticky and occasionally sparkly from the flooding, but yeah.>What the fuck is going on? Was Pinkie full of shit or did you actually get stuck inside a repeating hallway?>If so, what makes that piece of fuckitechture different? You KNOW a lot of buildings really are bigger on the inside!>Maybe you ARE losing it. Severe horn damage? Little bit of psychotic euphoria from getting hold of a deadly weapon? Stress of dealing with Pinkie's antics, and keeping Trixie from getting you both killed with her fat mouth, and->Pass some maintenance closets with lights and equipment. One even had a half-eaten soggy pink sandwich, left behind in an evacuation.>Yeah. Ran. He definitely ran, you didn't hurt anyone when you flooded these tunnels. Definitely couldn't have been work crews down here looking for your group or trying to fix the water. Nope, not at all!>Fuck. Maybe you ARE fucked in the head!>How many ponies were in the spa!? Way more than what you saw on the platform, and that's just in the hot tub!>Are there dead schoolfillies in the spa complex!? Is that your fault? There weren't any bodies floating in the water, but Pinkie springing her campsite kinda stopped anyone from searching the rest of the building.>Pinkie? Hello? Could REALLY use some lighthearted interjection for once! No?>Fuck.
>>43101239>Up ahead- an actual four-way junction, glowing harsh orange from its dim but durable lights.>The pipes split off, one color to each pathway. Green dead ahead. Red left, yellow right. Looks like->Yep! Right on the wall, there's some actual fucking signage! And you can read it!"Okay, let's see-">Trixie and Mooriel both look at you, both slightly annoyed and deeply worried. The hoity toity concern of a tard wrangler->>"Anon. Please, take it easy, we're-""I'M GOING CRAZY DOING NOTHING HERE! FUCK, WHERE IS EVERYPONY? DID ANYONE DIE!? I-I-I-I">You-you-you-you're not helping your case right now.>Trixie sits down, right in front of you. Takes a deep breath and->There it is again. A little pause, a straining in her expression.>>"Anon, look. I noticed you looked behind us- you saw the hole where we climbed in, yes?""Yeah...">>"And was it.... well within view? Or was it so far away that we could've walked for an hour?""...I could barely see it, but-">>"Was that because it was far, far away. Or because-""Because the shitty flare burned out and all we had was the glitter reflecting a... tiny amount of light. Blue light.">>"That's... right. Okay. See?""But my legs hurt like I've been-">>Her face darkens again. "I'm sore all over, too. It'd be weird if we weren't.">That edge in her voice. She's... desperate.>Yeah, that's the word. Desperate. Like part of her doesn't believe this shit either, which->She WAS there. She deals with weird shit all the time, probably more than most ponies! Okay, gonna sound paranoid, but IS she an imposter?>You hadn't watched the show in years before waking up in the body of an orphan filly. And the show has proven to be both unreliable at the best of times, and highly sanitized. Like no shit, Pinkie the Character never had crazy sex parties where she submerged in a hot tub for hours on end->But you distinctly remember some shapeshifting bug fucks with some shapeshifting hive shenanigans.>Ok, fuck, you don't KNOW anything and you're definitely losing it, but you can't just attack her out of the blue. You don't want to. You have no proof of anyth-"WOAH!">You're grabbed in a field of blue and draped across Mooriel's back. "Lo-o-o-ok, just take a breather, I'll carry you.""But-">"No-o-o-o buts! You're light as a pillow to me, and besides, I can find the way from here.">>"Oh? Have associates in the moo-nicipal water service?">"Ya joke, but yes, yes I do. Red pipe is outgoing from main boiler. They're thicker cuz they're double-walled. Keeps the heat in better.">A lurch. Flexing muscles in your new seat. The cow is on the prowl.>Okay, whatever, free ride on a cow. Except, she's slightly unsteady. Like she's more tired than she claims?>Yes. There's a slight shakiness to her gait as the group goes down the left corridor. Is she as tired as you? Then why->Fuck. Trixie said it'd be weirder if everyone didn't feel like shit, and, yeah. Even Pinkie looks exhausted and she DIDN'T spend all of-
>>43101361>Pinkie.>Pinkie looked like she was trying to stop you from questioning this- right after you started moving again.>Pinkie's usually right, but->Why the fuck hasn't she interjected at all!!? Pinkie? Hello!? Oh fuck, what if SHE'S the imposter!? Trying to turn you against->Okay, no, you got nothing to do right now but stare at sewer walls and hope Trixie doesn't dump your paranoid ass before your first goddamn date.>Time to figure out how Pinkie does that shit. You can check on your friend AND get confirmation she's not an evil clone!>Or, conversely->No, stop second guessing yourself, just->Glance at Pinkie super hard. Focus on the feeling you had when the elements linked to you?>Those gems floating before you, reforming out of dust.>Twilight's gay little speech. All the virtues of pony culture, and the magic of friendship to bind them.>Like embers of love. Like strings playing the heart's song->Strings!>Pluck the string connecting Understanding to Humor!>Oh wow that really is exhausting, and now you can't STOP hearing the heavy metal polka coming from Pinkie's heart->Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck is this what it's like to be Pinkie no wonder she's weird oh god is this going to be forever now
>>43101362>Be Pinkie>Something got your scent, just as you dropped into the water access tunnel.>You felt the backrooms, the fourth wall, the stage exits- all your shortcuts twist into a moebius strip. Infinity forwards and backwards.>An old voracity hangs in the air. Only one entity you know of->Jabberjaw. One of the thousand sons of Hanna-Barbera, Sires of Monsters.>He seeks revenge for that cultist you snuked. And you blundered right into His hunting ground!>Okay, play it cool. Thrashing and blood in the water is the last thing you need.>Anon always knows stuff- but she's not aware of Him! Oh no! That was your plan A, B and C!>What to do, what to do!?>You could pray to the Great Dane! The oldest of His siblings, and the nicest! You leave a gi-huge-ic vegetarian turbosandwich out for His consort, every night!>Except->No. You realize, with leaden heart, that you cannot cry out loud enough to be heard without drawing the enemy directly to you.>The Living Chariot? No. He is a friend to machines, and you kiiiiinda technically allowed Trixie to kill that cool diving suit. Best not to involve him at all...>With no exit strategy, all you could do is try to subtly-SNEAKILY twist the geometry around you. To nudge your path out of His path.>Yeah. That'll work- you can still touch the strings behind the stage. Just gotta be careful.>A whole freaking HOUR of parry and pirouette and misdirection follows. All the while, the rest of the group is ignorant. They're barely aware of how weird it is that this tunnel is so long.>Anon even tried reading the corrupted signs on the walls! You know what she did? Shrugged it off, assuming it was water damage or poor maintenance!>Sigh.>You envy them. It'll just be over if you buck up. What you wouldn't give to not spend your last hour fruitlessly fighting the beyond.>No, that's quitter talk! Keep heaving!>Oh no, the Strings are all bunched up around Mooriel's head! Climb up, quick, loosen that knot!>Act casual! Don't give them more reason to argue, it just makes you all tastier!>Trixie's doing some dumb voice trick- WHY?>Her light's flickering and- oh no>You KNOW unicorn magic doesn't flicker like that! Magic gives off light already! It'd just get BRIGHTER if she were casting a spell! Or maybe a little dimmer, she IS good at sleight of horn after all.>Something is->{HE snuffs the Light.}>EEP!>Comeoncomeoncomeon WORK, BITCH!>FASTER! THE WHOLE WORLD IS SPINNING HEAD OVER TAIL!>Why do you taste mud, old bathwater, and a subtle hint of your No. 12 model bath bomb?>Oh. Mooriel sprinted into the wall so fast you fell off.>Well.>Guess you're all gonna die. Time to panic and cry!
>>43100464traffic worker anonmare
Pre bed smoke wif cigarette
>>43104429But can she be comfier?
>>43103628Hmm, is this anonmare? She's looking different today.
>>43105471Meant to post that in Kinderquestria um I mean I did write Flitter in my green so it's totally relevant yep uh huh
>>43105729Ahh ok, must be a teaser lol
>>43105965Nah I'm just incredibly stupid
>>43106263Cool beanie amd sexy socks, Anonmare!
https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2026/3/15/3783490.png
>>43108010Qt indeed!
>>43101484>RISE ABOVE!>With a gasp and a shake and a little dance, you overcome your despair!>Okie dokie lokie>You sorta... lost a bit of time there>The last thing you remember... Right! Mooriel about to give you a hoof sandwich!>You nearly got gotten by an Outsider. One of the older ones. Not as old as the Mouse, but old enough to be bad news.>And yet, you live. The Outer pressure crushing your poofy spirit has receded?>One second, you were stuck in a twisty tunnel lobster trap with a hangry shork coming at you from sidereal.>The next, you're still alive and Anon is apparently some kind of ancient monster slayer with a magical boomerang. An invisible boomerang she doesn't even need to throw. Cool beans.>You're still a little out of it but Anon is definitely in your face yelling about->The repeat pan. Yeah. You felt the tunnel snap back to reality."Oh, yeah, I think the distances have collapsed properly... It's just...">Silly Nonny>Boomerang. Ha!>That's silly! Unless.....?>Alright. Everypony still thinks you're in shock from Mooriel's threats. You're totally not! No way! Just like you're totally fine after the shark attack nopony but you even saw coming!>Just as expected, Mooriel and Trixie are forgetting the hour they lost. Making excuses while Nonny argues over blatant "lies" that aren't exactly lies but more of a coping mechanism.>A coping mechanism that lets them remain hopeful. A hoping mechanism, if you will.>Anon, though- she remembers everything!>And she's... ok? Mostly? Little frazzled and Twilynanas about it, but compared to you?>Trixie and Mooriel probably think she's crazy by now, and she's looking re-e-e-a-a-ally hard in your direction. Wanting something. Probably emotional support.>Sorry Nonny, it's better this way. No harmono-tele-jokepathy (working title) either!>It's a lot of work tuning and de-tuning the ties that bind, but you had to close them off. Imagine if Twilight got hit with this level of 4th dimensional toxicity! >It'd be at least a class seven purple synchonicity! That's enough to turn Canterlot into a crater and cancel 4 years of Hearthswarming!>More>HA HA HA HA you suffer your lonely vigil in silence! Just like Nana Pie!>Ah. Classic Nana Pie.>Oh look, we're making progress! Finally, some damn proper tunnels!>More pointless arguing from the blessedly ignorant. Bo-o-o-o-oring!>Just keep silent and act shellshocked, the last thing you need right now is to take sides in an argument where everypony's right for the wrong reasons.>Oh jeezy-weezies, it looks like Anon might attack somepony. Alright, then, might as->Oh! Trixie just put her on top of Mooriel! Convenient! You can continue not talking about almost dying!>...>Mmmmmaybe you ARE traumatized.
>>43108273>More concrete tunnel. More big red pipe.>Huh. You've had nothing to do but feel bad for Anon and replay the battle in your head.>Something isn't quite adding up:>Nonny mentioned being 'a kid' when she got that boomerang.>Kid. Which is Goatse for 'foal.">Which implies Anon was already mentally capable of Seeing Outside. Maybe even before getting her cutie mark!?>Welp. You KNEW there was a reason she puts the fear of Megan in you!>You still don't know the EXACT reason but you're certainly sure there is one!>...Hey why is your brain throbbing? Are you finally dying of a stroke? You haven't eaten nearly enough fried fruit pies for that!>The doctor even told you exactly where the redline was for your diet! Teehee!>[HEY PINKIE JUST MAKING SURE YOU'RE NOT SOME KIND OF EVIL CLONE, I THINK THIS IS CONFIRMATION? OW HOW DO YOU DO THIS SO MUCH-]>Wow! And ow! Anon forced open a connection! A tiny, temporary one, more like Spike barfing a letter across linked esoteric strings than any real telepathic link, but it's a start!>Your money would've been on Fluttershy being the first to do that, since she already talks to animals. >But Anon, much like her cutie mark, is a giant enigma.>Like her very existence is making ponies question what even is possible in the first place. Which brings you back to a constant point of contemplation: how DO they get the cheese filling inside of every carrot dog?>"Your money is on" is not a euphemism by the way.>You now owe Gummy 13 jars of pickled frogs, a pocket watch and a trip to scenic Manehattan's scenic sewers to 'trawl for some strange.'>'Always Gamble On Green' turned out to pay big bits, huh?>Considering he ditched you without even trying to fix the suit, you can probably get him to forget the pocket watch, but where the hell are you going to hire a giant sewer gator prostitute at this time of year?
>>43108278>kid. Which is goatse for foal>goatseWhat did she mean by thisGoatse(ks) is canon?
>>43108660Well, goats exist, and Faust said everything reproduces 'the usual way' so yes, goat sex is canon.
>>43108975>goatse is canon in universe>there's a famous photo of either mr cake or shining armor spreading his ass cheeks wide, and you can see a wedding bracelet on his right hoof>pinkie is aware of this, and maybe even aware of the IRL equivalent
>>43109773Is it the reee sound?
>>43110261I think scientifically speaking, the most annoying sound in the world is a baby crying. But a lil faggot is basically a baby so 'reeee' is close enough!
>>43109489Does Twilight Sparkle still brush Anonmare's mane even after she grows up?
>>43110834I like to think ponies just brush each other a lot
>>43033752hey frens, are there any anon x anonmare greens youd recommend? longer the better
>>43111759Very nice mare socks.
>>43112767Hehe anonmare :D
>>43109489Brushy wushy
>>43113899Detective Anonmare Holmes on the case!
>>43115060Argh, you scared me coming so close to my face!
>>43108278>[Obviously in a sewer, duh!]>Yeah-OW that makes sense. Guess Twilight's not the only pony who overcomplicates stuff.>Seriously though, whatever Anon is doing hurts! Does it hurt her->[Yeag(sic)]>Good to know! It kinda hurts the others when you try doing this. Normally you just take a little peek from time to time, but the last day or two with Anon it hasn't hurt at all!>Hm, no response?>You glance over at Anon, who is still draped over Mooriel's back. She winces as the exact moment your brain registers her.>Right.>Should close this connection soon then, but not quite yet!>It obviously hurts you both waaaaay more when she answers than when she recieves, so you need to make this question count!>D'oh, you really really really want to get more info about that boomerang, but there'll be time for that later! Maybe you can invite her to the Cave of Cabinets!>More important for right now-now, why was she worried about somepony being an evil clone!? You get the paranoia, and the hazy sense that she wasn't being completely crazy, which->Yeah no that just makes it supremo importante!>{You don't get a message, instead a fleeting series of images. Dark wings, hungry insects that mimic ponies, a swarm to block out the sky!}>Owwwwwwwwww yeah that's gonna be a problem at some point. But at least she can be sure her ol' pal Pinkie isn't one of them! Or if she is, then she's always been one because your elements are still synchronizing like normal.>Oh wait if you ARE one are you gonna usher in the bugpocalypse!? Are you a sleeper agent!? Is that why you look so different from->[PINKIE I'M SHUTTING US UP NOW OK CALM THE FUCK DOWN]
>>43116759Hoof touching, oh my!
>>43117248Anonmare is art.
>>43116464What video games does Anonmare play?
>>43117791All the hottest horse games. Call of Study, Cattlefield, Horseframe.... Fat Princess....
>>43118356Oh dear, that's not good.
Anonmare learning to bake with Pinkie!
>>43118663Yummy cookies Anonmare baked up, now I want some!
>>43118089Is fat princess supposed to be a ponification of team fortress?
>>43119711It's an actual video game irl
>>43119711>>43119945Yeah that was the intended joke, a real game that sounds like it's making fun of Celestia
>>43120241>making fun ofY-yeah, that...
>>43121039I love doomscrolling, I love the depressing feeling!
>>43120664She's a weapon stronger than Metal Gear with that cool cool totally real mech suit!
>>43117165I want her to do this with my face instead of the book
>>43121915You want to be crushed to death under the weight of thousands of damned hayburgers?
>>43121982Who wouldn't?
>>43122242me
>>43121891Sundownie
>>43116210>Be Anonmare again>Just Anonmare>Alone in your head>Blessed, horrifying, lovely, damnable silence>At least in your own head>Well, not SILENCE, since, y'know, all....>THIS>Is still going on>But no Pinkie, no slight echoes of the others' songs>Where were you?>Oh right- it's only quiet in here>Out there? Well->"Alright no-o-o-ow there, uh-" Mooriel's voice vibrates her sides. Her sides that you are draped over, perpendicular to her head. "The crewed part of the boiler is at the bottom of the complex- so-o-o we're gonna be going down a few bends. Lemme take the lead so the gals at the door don't get-">The vibrations and flexing muscles and slow, powerful gait of this terrifying half ton grandma are doing something to your crotchtits. A panicked dart of the ol' sensor orbs reveals a smug ponk and a red-faced yet hopeful Trixie.>"Hayso-o-o-os Aurochrist girlie, ya really need to get laid. ANYWAY-" She glances at Trixie, "Do me a favor and absolutely DESTROY her back there when we get outta here, yeah? I can hook you up with-">Distant, aggressive murmurs. Tapping on the ground- not like a dance, more like banging on a surface?"Shhh! I think I hear something! Ahead!">>Trixie looks like she's about to shush you, until her ears prick up. "...Yeah. Multiple voices, at least one male and female? Probably-""Sounds about right. Douse your light, we might be able to get closer?">>Trixie complies and all becomes near pitch black, though some tiny part of your psyche can still tell where everyone is. "Okay... why did we want-">Your beefy sofa rumbles as its owner speaks: "Great job, no-o-o-o-w I can't see m'own whiskers.. Y'know I could just-">Almost like, if you squint, you can still see their eyes clear as day? You lock eyes with Pinkie's baby blues>"Seriously. I can't see for shit y'know, and with me y'don't even need to sneak up on them.">Fuck. Convenient, yet unsettling- did connecting to Pinkie do this to you? Try waggling your... eyelids? She's waggling back! Little shit!"Okay, okay, look-">Crickets. Some day you will replace Ponyville's water supply with Raid."Figure of speech and you know it! Fucking bugs. Anyway- I wanna know what we're dealing with, duh. You say we can trust the door...heifers? But we don't know who else is down there!">>"A sound tactical analysis, yet Madame Commandant has forgotten a crucial piece of-">Trixie doesn't get to finish her sentence, as you prove your rudimentary nightvision by sliding off of Mooriel, trotting right up to her and executing a perfect, regulation Prench kiss."Y'know, we can just hug the wall and keep going forward, dummy.">"Plus there'll be lanterns at the do-o-o-or, though they might SMELL you horny little rabbits from a mile off..."
>>43121982UNF
>>43119505very cool anonmare
>>43123926That's anonteen
>>43123926long legs for a mare
>>43124062Barely legal 18yo anonmare?
>>43123926Cute!!!
>>43124880
>>43125234Aww, waggling her wee tail. Makes my heart warm.
>>43123116>It's surprisingly hard being stealthy on hooves>Without rubber horseshoes, you can only soften the harsh clip-clop, not eliminate it>But the geneeral Dank Sewer Noises, the darkness, and the arguiung will mask what remains>You hope>Oh you hope, as you creep down and down>Left turn, down ramp, left turn, down ramp>Stop. Prick your ears. A female voice, downstairs. Long 'O's and gravelly voice suggest a middle aged heifer: "We to-o-old you, we ain't seen anypony, anycow, anywh-o-o-o. Get LOST." Then- scraping of hooves. A metal door slamming, latching.>Now a younger female voice. Higher. Rambling in frustration. The few syllables you can make out have a sort of... Joisy tinge to them?>Thick... Jersey... accent. Wait- you only know one mare with a Jersey accent.>Which would mean the male voice belonged to... Bulk!?>Fuck it. YOLO. Faster faster faster>Ahead- that is, ahead on the path, but slightly below you due to this being a staircase- you can hear the flapping of wings.>The information registers far too late: Before you can turn the next corner, you smack right into a->Well, it's definitely male. And he was flying very low. So when your rounded muzzle hit the bottom of his chest?>Let's just say you, uh, slid into something that causes certain... feelings... in your current physiology. You can't see for shit right now, but... pheromones or something? Instincts? Very LOUD parts of you just KNOW your nose is touching something that should be touching other parts of you. Further back- no, even farther than that.>You're too busy spiraling into another rumination of your apparent bisexuality, and what being living proof of reincarnation but also being a slave to new biological imperatives means for your sense of self, to do anything. Except breathe. And imagine what Trixie would look like, riding him while his mouth takes care of your needs, and the two of you are making out extra sloppy style, and then Flitter brings in the sweet and sour sauce, pulls Trixie off, grabs you and puts you on his cock and says 'you're having his foal or I'll pour this into your eyes' and it makes you cum harder than you've ever- wait what the fuck is wrong with you? It's NOT EVEN SPRINGTIME GODDAMMIT STOP THINKING ABOUT GETTING PREGNANT>Meanwhile, Bulk answers in the universal language of screaming like Rarity at a funeral for her fainting couch, only calming down once Trixie makes a light, and even then he just goes "oh it's just youwaitwhatgetouttamycrotch"
>>43126051>You wake from your freak-ass freak fantasy with a start, and stumble backwards into Trixie which soon becomes Trixie's loving embrace.>Flitter, who you realize has been staring at you and Trixie this entire time, wearing nothing but a smirk and the unmistakable scent of an aroused freak, finally breaks the awkward silence. "HA! Knew you'd be open- seriously, come see us after we get outta here, maybe aunt Flitter can teach you a lil something-something.""Uh-">>Trixie looks into your eyes for just a moment, wiggles her eyebrows and responds for you: "We'd love to. We were thinking about it since we got to the spa.">"Great! We live right off market street, it's the anchored cloudhouse- just swing by after 8 on weekends. And if you really want to get on my good side, bring a-" she looks pointedly at Bulk, "male friend for my sister. No pressure though. Oh, and, uh, might make you sign some forms.. just in case you get knocked up and there's something crazy like a silphium blight or something. Sorry if that's-">Coughing from Mooriel's direction. Very meaningful and annoyed coughing, almost like she's->Flitter takes the hint. "Right, yeah, not the time and place, got a little carried away. Stress and all... wait a minute. Anon, Trixie... How did-">The absurdity of tackling a guy's ballsack and, not only not sending him to the floor, but somehow coming out of it with tentative orgy plans, finally wears off. Everypony remembers they're stuck in a glorified sewer, trying to get to the..."HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE AHEAD OF US?">"Woah woah woah, no, how the hay- wait what do you mean how did we get here first!?">>The shadows shift as Trixie's light shakes with her head. "Trixie's Fertile and Attractive Marefriend was quite clear: How did YOU get here before US?">Flitter doesn't answer. Several seconds of open-mouthed hate-confusion. Bulk finally speaks up: "It's been... a couple hours.">>"Wh- no! 20 minutes, tops! We lost a few when Trixie.. uh.. pulled a prank on Mooriel...">Bulk gets close, looks her in the eyes. "It took me and Flitter 20 minutes to get here.""I told them it'd been at least an hour. They thought I was crazy.">A deep, seething breath from Flitter. "OHHHH, one of Pinkie Pie's FAMOUS shortcuts I bet!">She stomps towards Pinkie, who is still keeping to herself at the rear. Bulk offers up meaningless platitudes to the tune of 'babe, no' and 'babe, c'mon' but you know who wears the dick in their relationship.>Mooriel tries to intervene, "Wo-o-o-o-ah there dearie, why don'cha save it for-">A swift boop shuts her up. "Can it, grandma! And save the Whinnyapolis act for the farmhoo-">What shuts Flitter up is nothing so elegant as a fast, accurate boop. No, it's more like being slammed into the wall by a pissed-off cow who's got way too much shit on her mind to take this crap from a two-bit cloud monitoring floozy.>Goddamn. Wait, what's that feeling?>Sigh>Of course that turns you on too.
Anonmare x Mooriel x Tixie fanart when?????
>>43126420Mooriel doesn't swing that way, Anon just likes big and/or violent mares
>10
Preeb
>>43127005Wealthy anonmare!
>>43126936That is a lot of Anonmares!
>>43126082>Trixie's Fertile and Attractive Marefriendunf
>>43128810I hope thst's not my card...
>>43129161anonmare stepped on a lego brick, that gotta really hurt.
>>43129334Look where her hooves are. I don't think she *stepped* on one
>>43129459Ahh! Oh my.
>>43130698Cute anonpony family
>>43125505Clean Anonmare! No dorito stains for now.
>>43131692very cool anonmare
>>43132505Anonmare has some nice bras and panties
>>43133311sleepy smartest anonmare!
>>43128975It is!
>>43128975It's actually Prench, it's pronounced 'gay-fayge'
>>43135906Anonmare wants her tendies now!
>>43127890anonmare mlem face
>>43136240Don't forget the sauce and fries!
>>43135341Me and my anonmare wife
>>43137566very smart anonmare will learn to do the strongest magic in no time
>>43033752Imminent anonmare rape
>>43139354>[distant, panicked reeeeeeeeeee]
>>43140392Very cool green hoodie, anonmare!
>>43126082>The dust settles, as Flatter peels out of a flitter-shaped divot in the wall, floats gently to the ground and reinflates after a couple seconds.>You can almost see the stars around her head as she stumbles and mumbles incoherently, the scowl and edge in her voice returning gradually>Mooriel starts pawing at the ground, head lowered. "Stay down if ya know what's g-o-o-od for you.">To her credit, Flitter regains enough presence of mind to simply take off. There's not enough clearance in here for aerial superiority but it does mean Mooriel can't bull rush her.>The two of them start circling and boxing at each other, Flitter in the air and Mooriel rearing up.>Through all of this, Pinkie remains oddly quiet.>Bulk is chewing his forehooves, likely debating the age-old question of survival vs pussy. Good luck with that, bud.>Trixie just shoots you a questioning look while cow and pegasus bloody each others' noses. You whisper back,"Fuck, I got nuthin'.">A gross cracking sound calls your attention back to the fight. Yet, there's no mangled pony or cow on the ground.>Or anywhere.>Flitter and Mooriel straight up disappeared. And you->Wait>You're down three, not two>An odd sensation, like pressure in the air, draws you down the stairwell, to the door Flitter and Bulk must've been at before.>You can just barely hear confused shouting, in the chords of Ponk, Moo and Jersey, beyond.>Everypony shouts all at once, "DAMMIT PINKIE PIE!"
>>43132892anonmare on the computer :D
those are anonfillies
>>43142933Playcolt Bunny
>>43142933anonmare got those flanks whoa niceee
>>43142933Hot.
>>43110117PERKELE!
>>43144394Aero-non-tic mare
>>43141504I beg you man, please. You're once again falling into the hard to follow hole.
>>43144793Yeah I felt like shit yesterday, I oughta rewrite that post
>>43144793fwiw, I don't have trouble following now, it's clearer than some of the early posts. Alas, I feel the plot has been stretching out too much lately. There are still funny moments, it's just slow. We've been walking through this sewer for a literal month now kek.>>43145018Don't beat yourself up Anon, it's still a good read and I want it to reach conclusion at some point. I believe in (you)
>>43145277cute anonmare
>>43145277>rape
>>43145794proper windy indeed
>>43145039>walking through the sewer for a month>in-universe it was an hour>in-perception in-universe it was 10 minutesIt compounds! There's a world above ours where it's been going on for a year!
>>43146396Nah it really was an hour, Mooriel and Trixie just refuse to believe their own experience
>>43146743From what you wrote, the perception of those unaware of the more esoteric (read:cartoon logic) shit (trixie/mooriel) is genuinely 10 minutes. As if the memory of it lasting a minute was supernaturally overwritten so it lasted only 10 minutes. Pinkie is aware of the cartoon logic/cosmic horror, anonmare is an outsider to this reality (being an anon), so she also id aware.Anon knew about the repeat pan that pinkie caused to try and survive the jabberjaw. Once the pan had collapsed, only pinkie and anon kept the awareness of it happening, trixie and mooriel genuinely believing it only was 10m, but not by choice, with a very vague feel that it might actually have been an hour, but that's exactly the type of feel you'd dismiss as just being tired/distracted/whatever. Like that whole SCP concept of some ideas being so antithetical to the mind that they erase themselves the moment you stop thinking about them, thus you forget it (the whole antimeme thing).The mere idea of reality bending so it the same pipe travel lasted 1 hour, and not 10m like it should have is so eldritch that the default is to forget it and assume it genuinely was 10m.
>>43146768Okay that's 100% right, for some reason I thought>in-perception-in-universe 10 minutesmeant it only lasted 10 minutes realtime, hence the correction post. Pardon my retarded(ness)
>>43139354She is powerless to stop me burying my face in that chest fluff
>>43146396>World above oursI shudder to read my life as a fanfic....>Why is DTanon suddenly playing death stranding 2 for the past 2 weeks what happened to Darktide>I wanna know how he keeps eating at Golden Corral and not getting cholera. Very unrealistic.>Why does he jerk off to Derpy so much? Why must these sections be so DETAILED?
>>43147796"Anon is just an average Joe in universe, and cholera is pretty much eradicated in the more modernized cities, so he can't get cholera unless he drank shit or somn.""And he keeps eating at the same place because that's what he likes. Imagine liking going to Splukkies every other day cause you can afford it and the food is good.""As for why are the Derpy masturbation scenes so detailed? This is a wankfic (the universe equivalent of a clopfic), what did you expect?"
Prebbed
>>43145986I didn't know the moon had a bank in Equestria
>>43148665It doesn't. Filly manifested there through sheer little shit willpower.
>>43148685She's strong!
>>43141504>Yep, that sure is a big door. Heavy. Riveted steel- must've cost a fortune to make without heavy industry.>The sign up top, big bold letters: MAIN BOILER- WATER/POWER EMPLOYEES ONLY. A smaller sign, in childish pink crayon, reads "but you shouldn't be in the tunnels without authorization or a good reason anyway so that sign was kiiiiiinda pointless :3">Pinkie. Damn, she really has been working for the cow mob.>Alright, what else? A few signs on the side. Pointless, unimportant crap. OSHA warnings. A soaked and tattered evacuation plan. A clipboard hanging on a hook with... softball signups? Huh.>Trixie puts an ear to the door while you peer closely at a red diamond shape on the right; seems to be warning of fire or hot surfaces."Yeah, no fucking shit? It's a giant underground boil-">>"SHHH! Trixie can't hear! Listen-">You press your right ear to the door, in a manner that conveniently allows Trixie's nose to touch yours.>Listening- for what? It's a whole lot of flap flap flap fla->Wait>You both peer up at Bulk, flapping his tiny wings as loud as a drum. He stares blankly at you for a second before floating off with a blush and a squee.>Okay>Second attem->The thunk-thunk of a heavy lock working inside the door. Ice in your veins. Imminent danger.>Legs faster than your brain. You wrap Trixie in a foreleg and kick off the door in what was meant to be an awesome dodge roll but was more of a weird backwards flop.>It was barely enough- no sooner do you hit the ground, than the door flies open and slams the wall hard enough to crack the concrete. The wind of the blow tickles your hooves. The ice gives way to post-crisis shakes.>>>A ponk looms over you. "Hiiiiiiiiii Nonny!! Bye Nonny!">She pronks neatly over the two of you, paying no mind to how she nearly atom smashed your ass. Flitter reluctantly flies after her and grabs Bulk.>Slowly, trembling like a deer in headlights, you get to your hooves stumble around for a bit."W-w-w-hat? What are we doing- why did-">More hooves. A bell. The source: Mooriel, who pokes her head out the door. "Boiler's a no-go for evacuation, but knoooowing Pinkie she can lead the others through the rest of the tunnels. There'll be a supply elevator or some such. Now-">>"Excellent- let us make a Great and Powerful exit, stage.. uh, THAT WAY!">She does, indeed, try to trot that way (that way being up the rampystairwellthing you came down)>Mooriel gets that flat, depressed, i-am-sworn-to-carry-your-burdens kind of look. You take the hint and...>Well, you try to grab Trixie with magic but all you can muster is a tug on her tail. It stops her in her tracks well enough at least.>>"OH COME ON, WHAT NOW!?""Seriously.">"Has to dooo with WHY the boiler's a no-go. C'mon, gonna need you two or-" Mooriel shouts back at the boiler room, "WHAT'D YA SAY IT WAS?">Mutter mutter mutter.>"Yeah? Uh huh. Shit-" The old familiar cow pops back out of the doorway. "Yeah, the town's gonna blow. Get in here!"
