Ptoeey EditionPrevious thread: >>43017268IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiEActive list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERXMaster list (new and improved!): https://ponepaste.org/11293Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7gStories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY>rope's HD remastered thread archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0>If a pastebin link is broken you can copy the string at the end of the url of a poneb.in link so pastebin.com/mVG33ERX becomes https://poneb.in/mVG33ERX>PiE Corner>Remember to tag all PiE Stories.PiE Author List: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNyPiE image archives: http://derpy.me/PiE_PicturesBrowser Pony Author List: http://pastebin.com/ZCGjtftk
First for dancing with Moonwife!
Second for kissing moonwife!
Third for anons who made it to Creaturequestria
Fourth for skywatching with Moonwife!
He knocked up a fucking donkey, I shit you not
>>43091045I wonder what it would be like actually kissing a poner.
>>43091087Sonata would never taunt Anon like this
>>43091169is Anon okay?
>>43091206yes he's getting some neck exercise
Working on any stories today anon?About a quarter of the way through a Fluttershy lewd adventure
>>43091282not really, I feel like I slightly OD'd on greens >>43091061Would still be interested in random satyr greens, though. Are there any about satyrs in normal human world? What about EqG (excl. that comic)?
>>43091291I imagine she'd love to read some greens and have a laugh with her father after a long day of cello/violin practice with her mother
>>43091317I wasn't implying that normal human world should be *this* human but meta-stories are also my favorites so lolololo
>satyrs and fluttershy lewdswtf I love /mlp/ now
>>43091319I've got nothing for now but I'd enjoy greens where she's a different creature too, for example Octavia secretly being an octopus in disguise like a changeling (makes sense since octopi tend to do that, right?) and thinking Anon will run away when she reveals herself but he instead plaps her octopussy and marries her to have half-human half-giant octopus children
>>43091346>octomare>nopony suspects a thing
>>43091369Nopony at all...
>>43057245>>43057247I'm waiting patiently for the finale
>>43091282niceI wrote a shitpost in a random prompt thread. then I kicked my feet up and spent the rest of the day patting myself on the back for doing it>inb4 it gets no (You)s
>>43091507I backtraced your ip to find out which green you wrote, just so I can go out of my way to NOT reply to it!
>>43091514that's a lot of effort you went through in order to not do something, but since I know that I have no (You)s I must conclude that you did indeed do all of that
>>43091406Are there any other fics like this?
>>43091675just recently someone made an anon-in-a-zoo fic (first part is the zoo, epilogue/2nd part is trying to establish communication between hooman and ponies)rgre
>>43091282I wish
>>43092052They don’t have cars
>>43092153Humans don't have cars? Of course they do! Do you even watch the show?
>>43091004Tripfags in equestria
>>43092467just a bunch of OCs
>>43092895What were his crimes this time?
>>43092895>”this is not the ass eating I thought!”
>>43093128>"So THAT'S what it means, doesn't it?">Be anon, who just slipped up big time>Gave away the gag after a great two weeks>But maybe you can still save it?"What? No, it doesn't, Twilight! It means, uh, I like you, my very good friend!">try to stifle a snicker>fail>"AHA! You're lying!""Oh come on, Twilight! It was funny. Even a boring bookhorse should be able to see that!">"Well, that nonsense ends now. As Princess of Friendship, I'm officially declaring 'The Finger' to be a friendship crime. If you do it again, there will be consequences!">Is that a thing?>Can she even do that?>...>She's not a real princess, she's too purple"Yeah, right, Twiggy.">Give her The Finger and moonwalk away>"Goodbye, my very good friend! Hahahaha!">"This is your last warning, Anonymous!">Please, what could possibly happen?>Friendship Crime, your ass>two days later, on the run in the Everfree:>>43092895
>>43093128Being a faggot
>>43091282will you be posting this?
>>43093758Whys it look like her shit
>>43094077a hungry man thinks of bread
>>43093758*palate
>>43093966if i like it enough, yes.
Does anyone have any grumpy hermit anon fics?
>>43094432I do
>>43094433Could you name some so that I can look them up?
>>43094668Why does he have butt-wings?
>>43094814extra power
>>43094668>"Mine are bigger."
>>43094668Those are some big wings!
>>43096607Small Chrysalis
>>43096720soon to be flat chrysalis
>>43096607DO NOT-
>>43095723>”If you were smart you’d be dead too.”
>>43091038Wrong color
>>43098404YOU'RE THE WRONG COLOR
>>43098530What’s wrong faggot not enough cheese on it
>>43095947>”No way, hags.”
>>43099505Shit Anon, she's the lightest mare we got in stock. You need to do some work if you're struggling already.
>>43099550Dash would be the lightest, look at the size of flutters ass
>>43099697this
>>43099697Dash is all lean muscle, which is heavier than regular fat. Fluttershy flits around her cottage all day and at best lifts heavy bags of dog food.
>>43100353I've seen Fluttershy lift deez
>>43101016deez what
>>43101204deez adorable baby bunnies
>>43101397i see
>be anon>die>see this https://derpibooru.org/images/3774620>wat dou?
>>43101479i've seen Fluttershy lift her tail
>>43091406Well hey, I appreciate your patience, anon. Let's put a bow on this."... So I think it might be best to shelf this. Only for now, though! I've thought about it and the points Rarity and the others made were right, I really haven't spent enough time with Anon, both in terms of socializing him with other humans and just... spending time with him in general. I think I want to get to know him better before I add a human cub to my home.">Fluttershy has been wilting with every single point you've made in this lecture, but you have to be strong>(You) are Twilight Sparkle, and convincing your friend to put a pin in breeding your humans has been one of the more difficult tasks of your life>You were already well aware of her enthusiasm for the idea, given that it was her brainchild in the first place>But now that you've had certain... interests of hers pointed out to you, the reasons why she wants to personally view the proceedings are a lot more obvious>You really aren't sure what to make of her inviting you to do so with her>Was that just the obvious courtesy, given that your human would've been involved in the process too?>Or>And you really don't care to consider this too thoroughly>Did she think she was picking up on a vibe from you that suggested you'd also be into that sort of thing?>Definitely going to need to do some kind of self evaluation to figure that out>Either way, no matter how sad of a face she makes (and she really is a professional with the way she's actively making her eyes shimmer but not flow over with tears, wow)>Your hoof has been put down>You swear you hear her murmur something about how the cub would've been welcome at her cottage before she finally gives off a great sigh and bows her head>"Okay, Twilight, that's fair. If we did get Anon and Rose to make a cub they would be far too busy taking care of it to really socialize outside of their family unit, after all. Human cubs can't even walk when they're born, can you believe it?">You can't, that kind of helplessness sounds like it'd make rearing a child incredibly difficult, especially outside of civilized society like wild humans practice>You're briefly fascinated by the idea of studying wild human social structures, but feel like it might be a little bit of a slap in the face to Fluttershy to peruse that kind of material after denying her this>Still, despite her making those dewy eyes at you to try and make you reconsider, you part ways amicably>Leaving you alone in the Library>Almost>A few moments after the door clicks, your human's head peeks out from underneath the very couch Fluttershy had been occupying during your meeting>You make eye contact with your human for several moments before he slides some scrap paper your way>'So we're good, right?'
>>43101760"I'm fairly confident that she won't broach the subject for a few months at the very least, yes. I really doubt she's going to permanently table it, especially if you're right about her having a human fetish.">Anon fully slides out from underneath the couch at this point, brushing some sweat off of his brow with his forearm and giving off an overexaggerated sigh of relief>The sight of which is... eerie, to say the least>It's been only a few days since he hoofed down his carnivorous ultimatum >Since he revealed that he was significantly more sapient than the average Equestrian human>Seeing him act so equine is still jarring>His 'human act' was incredibly convincing, granted he didn't have to commit to the bit that often with how often you were out of the Library>Still>The proceeding 24 hours was quite a jumble>At first you were convinced you were having some kind of breakdown over the Castle Renovation Project being put on ice>Before realizing that if you were going crazy over it you probably would be trying to banish Rainbow to the moon over it or something like that>You lept to your next conclusion for this whole prank in Discord, but he vehemently denied it>The Draconequus found humans to be incredibly dull, lacking the ability to react to his types of pranks in an interesting way unlike Ponies>Your last ditch effort at denying reality had been a very thorough bubble bath using the Poison Joke antidote>Beyond embarrassing yourself after realizing you were scrubbing the equivalent of an adult stallion and seeing everything>(You swore to never reveal that to Fluttershy)>You also struggled a bit in a debate with Anon about whether or not that constituted as an attempt at murder>'If you see sapience developing in an organism and your first (it was technically third!) instinct is to try and remove it, that seems like trying to force ego death to me.'>The entire conversation had been fascinating>Also a bit mortifying as you really couldn't paint your actions in a light that wasn't a little murder-y>It was the first conversation you had with your human>Certainly not the last, as you discussed other topics of intrigue>Such as the history of weather control>The possibility of another entity or entities that held sway over the seasons like the Unicorn council had over the Sun and Moon before the Royal Sisters took over their mantle>Even shared speculation over the true cause of the Everfree Forest's wild growth>Ultimately, it was those debates that had convinced you to keep Anon's nature a secret from the public at large>While you did assure him that no, it was incredibly unlikely that the scientific community would try and dissect him to get at his brain and try and find out what made it different from other humans>(Why kill the specimen when they could just use magic to scan for those sorts of things?)>They absolutely would want to study him>Likely take him away>And...
>>43101761>You enjoyed talking with him>You never really took advantage of your time in Celestia's Gifted School to engage with your peers>And so you never got to enjoy these kinds of intellectual discussions>To say nothing of speaking about your favorite books and getting a very fresh, new take on their plots>Like your own little Book Club, except Dash isn't here this time to make loud fake snoring noises whenever you're trying to discuss a non-Daring Do novel>Even if it was a little frustrating having to wait for Anon to write down his responses instead of responding vocally in real-time>(And when they done with their studies they absolutely would make him engage with society like a regular sapient creature, and living with you would probably be discouraged like he figured, if only for the optics)>So, you enjoyed a secret friendship with your human>Maybe in time you'd introduce the real him to your friends>Fluttershy would absolutely be last on that list at any rate>You aren't sure what she'd do if she found out Anon was as sapient as you or her>(Either be mortified at what she was attempting to do...)>(... Or forego Ruby entirely and try and substitute herself)>As you physically shake your head to try and dispel that unwelcome mental image of your friends, your stomach grumbles in protest"Sounds like it's about time to get dinner started. Spike's staying with the Crusaders tonight in their treehouse, so it's just you and me tonight. Any ideas?">Anon considers the question, scratching at his cheek in a way you've come to associate with deep thought>And scribbles down a response>'I'm thinking... lasagna.'When I thought of Anonfield at first, I figured, 'Lets make some Garfield jokes with the serial numbers filed off, send Spike to Abu Dhabi, that sort of shit'. But I feel like I fucked it up by making Twilight and Anon's relationship so distant. Jim Davis insists that John can't understand Garfield's thought bubbles, he just innately understands Garfield to the point that he can guess at what he's thinking. So, we work towards bringing the human and pony closer. This'll about do it for the 'main story' of the green, but I'll definitely revisit the concept in the future for less partioned, simpler snippets.
>>43101761>especially if you're right about her having a human fetish.Fluttershy would never have something like that; she's too sweet and innocent>>43101764>except Dash isn't here this time to make loud fake snoring noises whenever you're trying to discuss a non-Daring Do novelwow, what a fucking BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH
>>43101764pretty good, anon
>>43101764Extremely shit.
>>43101848Cute horse, perfect horse
>>43101782>Fluttershy would never have something like that; she's too sweet and innocentShut up, Discord
>>43102859Tavi wouldn't do that to her cello.
>>43102859Octavia's discipline might be harsh but it works. Only she can train that lazy ape>>43102918She's probably being careful with it
>>43103110>just little taps with the cello
>>43101764I wonder if she'll ever catch on how Spike kept getting mailed around.
>>43104381>”…boop”
>>43105279Jealousy has a color
>>43104640Idgi
>>43106227Anon doesn’t top
>>43106795Answer the question
>>43107029She's complimenting your detective skills, anon.
>>43107073Next thing you know a pizza delivery is going to show up at the door that she used your bitcard to buy.
>>43107425Does Luna send crypto to the moon?
>>43102918It’s not hers
>>43107817Very well. Tavi wouldn't do that to ANY cello. She has too much respect for the instrument (no shit).
up
what a thrill
>>43091380I hope this finds you anon.>u.smutty.horse/mdkbbnthyqx.wav
>>43109143wrong gameWOAH HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>43109142What’s wrong why is he sad
>>43109699>”I need to move.”
>>43108387Don’t be rude anon
>>43108387Where the fuck is the rest of ABs body
>dead imagedump threadIts over.
>>43111524we had a writefriend finish a green literally this thread
>>43111760we deserve better schizos
I've been trying and failing to find an old story that was posted here over a decade ago. I was hoping one of you would be familiar with it and point me towards it. All I can really remember about it was that it involved Anon getting with Rarity and some point, a jealous Rainbow Dash has a public meltdown about it when she sees then together at some festival.
>>43112669Now that I think about it, it's also very possible that it was actually posted in one of the old Flutterrape or Rainbro Dash threads
WHERE'S THAT MONSTER LUX ATLUX IT'S BEEN OVER A DECADE
>>43112669Wait? Was there werewolves in it?
>>43113904This is sweet
>>43114253Not that I remember. I just remember that Anon had rejected some initial advances by Rainbow, with an agreement that he would tell her if he changed his mind about ponies, only to quickly turn around and get with Rarity with no notice, which is what triggers Rainbow's big crashout. She also happens to be drunk when it happens. Afterwards, I believe she kidnaps him and is subsequently rescued by Rarity. That's as far as I remember.
>9
>>43114636I feel like I vaguely recall that but nothings ringing any bells, sorry Charlie
>...'User interface'?>Gotdangit, Anon, yall told me this was the internet! Now ah' got some hooey little square poppin' up askin' if'n ah' wanna customize my face!>Anon ah appreciate y'alls attempts on explainin' human tech doo-dah's and such...but dang it if these ain't the most confusing Apple's ever..
>>43116590When are we having sex
>>43116702All that depraved /d/-tier stuff like hand holding and prolonged eye contact.
>>43114926I need to write an Anon The Fool series. Or someone does, anyway.
>>43117347Anon has a outie
>>43117664Anonymous as Desmond Doss?
>>43117664English literacy should be required to make fan art
>>43117983Bait or mental retardation?
>>43091393>strangeboner
>>43117983Reckless is ESL, anon.
>>43117675>”You are brown”
>>43118384Uh, no?
>>43118384Picture taken seconds before Anon's savage mauling.
>>43118387Fuck you dweeb
>>43118396She looks sad rather than angry.
>>43118944Looks shocked to me, like he just suddenly snatched her up and said that. So yeah, I'd expect that shock to turn to anger right quick
>>43119594Has there ever been a story where everyone wants anons hot /fit/ body without realizing that everyone from /fit/ extremely gay
>>43119899Why do they do this?
>>43120262Because Pinkie's just a massive pervert. And Fluttershy. And Twilight. And Rarity. And Rainbow...
>>43106019She'd just be some regular horse called "Mare" then. That would be silly.
>>43120222>Lyra took her meds
>>43120275If we unironically have people called Hugh Mann, ponies can have the odd mare called "Mare"
>>43121027>”109 kingdoms!”
>>43120913Not if this Hugh Mann is out there observing the ponies.
>>43120222>diapers in fog
>>43122054Cute dog.
>>43121864Hwhat
>>43112669I've been obsessively thinking about this post for a bit now, please tell me someone can find this fic because both me and the original anon are probably dying to read it
>>43122900Holy shit Luna just imposed her sister
>>43123303I thought it might have been Kissing Booth, cause I know that's a Dash green where she also has a meltdown.it's not tho..
>>43123780I feel like feeding every green on ponsepaste into Grok is our only hope for finding ancient stuff these days.
>>43114636If you could precisely remember a string of three or four words, the answer would probably be just a grep away.
>>43091004Ok everypony, I think it's all time we discussed 'the issue'. >"About time!" Hollers Rainbow Dash, with her other friends more or less agreeing. >Save for Fluttershy, who shifted anxiously in place, wishing she could go home. >"Um...can I leave now..? ...If..if that's ok...?"No. >You state. >"Yes Twilight, sorry Twilight...">"Consarnit Fluttershy, hush up and let Twilight adress the gol-darned elephant in the room.">Rarity cringes. >"Must we bring racial crudeness into the mix now, Dear? It's hardly relevant to-">"I aint- >"I'M CONTRIBUTING TOO!" Yelled Pinkie. GIRLS. ENOUGH. >All eyes are finally on you. Ponyfeathers! Look, we aren't here to argue with eachother or TRY TO GO HOME WITHOUT FIXING ANYTHING. >Fluttershy bites her lip. We came here to discuss something very serious!>"Yes, Twilight, I completely agree with you darling. It's about time we discussed the....err..."The picture. >"Yeah!" Rainbow stomps her hoof against the floor of golden oaks, earning some mild irritation from you. >You spend alot of money on varnishing...>"All he does all day long is sit around and look at that picture of his!">She begins to fly, gliding up towards the ceiling of your library home. >Then spreads her forelegs as far apart as she can. >"AND I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE'S LOOKING AT!>"As do I..">"Second'n that!">"Um...it would be nice to um...to see what it is..." >"Ohhhh wowie WOW so we all-"Yes, Pinkie. We all agree. We need to confront Anon and finally figure out what in Equestria he's looking at all day.---->You are truly Anonymous in Equestria. >Day 4005. >You sit, hunched over on a public fountain. >You've got it in your hands. >Your most precious polaroid. >Every day you look at it. >It's the only thing left that gives you any strength. '>The only thing left from earth, to remind you earth was even a real place. >Your fingers gently touch and glide over the glossy surface. >It's been six hours. >You can look at this all day. >Or you could. >But Carrot Top is bothering you. >"Sooo.......about that photo..." No.>"But I want to see!"No. >"But...."No.>Normally stone walling like that works. >You walk away. >But the trouble only deepens. >Carrot top is following you. >Try to lose her.>Duck into an alley. >"HIYAANONNYMOUSHOWAREYACANITAKEALOOKYLOOATYOUR-">Leave alley way and Truffle Shuffle past Carrot top. >You're walking, fatly, across ponyville. >Ponies keep gathering. >More and more of them. >Until you're running. >Hordes and hordes of equestrians are chasing you. >You haven't sweat like this in highschool. >You tuck your photo into your pocket, begin to sprint like naruto. >Running through wheat fields.>Endless wheat fields. >So many ponies behind you.>They want your precious thing. >This isn't fair. >It's the only thing left from home that's just YOURS. >That you didn't have to share!>Your private piece of earth. >Why can't they just- LEAVE ME ALONE!
>>43124480>You stop, heaving. >Every last pony in ponyville is here. >Looking at you, determined, yet blank in expression. >The kind of vacant stare a retarded animal gives when it has made a unified decision to do something with no forethought. >You slowly back away.>This immediately has them all descend upon you like hoardes of quarterbacks. >Every last bone is crushed in your body. >"AHAH!" Twilight yells, slowly wriggling herself out of the pile. >"Good job Everypony!"Nooouuuhhgghhh,,,,>You wheeze. >All of them, shattered to pieces, your bones. >They're naught but dust. >Blood is in your lungs. >"Anonymous I do apologize for how brutal-">"Heheh, brutal," Rainbow chuckles, "kind of an awesome word..">"...as I was saying...I do apologize for the brutality of this affair." Rarity says from somewhere within the pile. >"But really now, you brought this on yourself!">One by one they all get off your RUINED body. >They surround you now in one large, observant, panopticon of technicolour. >Twilight shakes her head, tskiing her tongue.>"I hope you learned your lesson about not showing us your photo, Anon.">"Now, if you'd please...">You're levitated in the air with her aura.>Several ponies cheer. >"OH YEEAAHHHHHHH!" Bulk biceps is in favour of this, apparently. nnNnNNnNnUuHHOOOUUHHGGHHHHHHH,,,MMNHHH!>"What?">Twilight is searching your pockets with her magic. NnnHH SSSTOOOPPPPPUUHGHH>Wheeze, cough. YOU DOND UNDERSDAND.......IT'S NOD DOO LADE....>All your teeth are absolutely fucked.>Sweat is dripping down your ass. >"Anon! Stop trying to...">Twilight's consternation at your abject insubordinence is replaced by elation. >"Ah! There it is!">"SHOW IT SHOW IT SHOW IT."NNNUOOOOOOOUHHHOOOHOOOOOOOOHHHHH>Slowly she levitates the item out of your pocket. >"Finally, we can put this whole mess behind us....alright, everypony! Here it is...!">It's held up for all to see.
>>43124496>"It's...">"It's um...">"Anon," >Where once there was cheering, delirious yells of support, there is nothing but silence. >"What is this??">Twilight breaks the silence finally.>Tears cascade down your chees. >It's all over. My favourite picture.
>>43124499Somewhere in the crowd, DaisyJo says "Oh my!"
>>43124499What am I looking at here
>>43124948Something is wrong with that cow's udders. It could be an infection, an injury, or something else.
>>43124954I get that, but why is that anon's picture.
>>43125089Subversion of expectations. The reader thinks it's going to be his family or something sentimental and sappy, but instead it's... bloody cow tits.So instead of feeling bad for Anon you remember, "Oh yeah, he's a retard"
>>43124496>"Heheh, brutal," Rainbow chuckles, "kind of an awesome word.."damn, she right thoRainbow Dash is so cool you guys>>43125089i don't know but bro needs to get a grip
>>43125094So you're saying that this is like the AiE equivalent of Cow Tools?
10 bump
>>43125097
>>43124499it's one of those jokes that's really fucking bland at first but the more I think about it the funnier it becomes
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/428031/pinkies-politeness-practiceif my equestria was like this fic i think i would be so fucking jaded i would make a weapon that causes the most violent suicide possible
Fanfic where Anon body swaps with twilight
Fanfic where anon gets laid but different this time
>>43126098When sex is so freely given and taken in settings like that, I'm always curious what actual intimacy looks like in societies like that. but most authors are writing that sort of story with one hand and not thinking about broader stuff like that.
>>43126098I remember when this was being posted in the Casual Sex threads back in the daypls come back Ephemeral
>>43126542Just leave the phone out and go take a shit.
>>43126113I'm pretty sure FR had one
>>43126948I know what you're talking abouthttps://ponepaste.org/5973
>>43126950yeplove the implication of that one ending in a "date" for Twi and Anon
>>43126113Fag.
bump
>>43128438>oc
>>43128769Anon would never do that
>..Oh, Celestia..there's that bumbling green oaf again. *sigh*..Easy, Cherry, just mind your own business..
>>43129165>SELF DESTRUCT ACTIVATED
>>43129677Big Mac is a sizelet?
>>43129824Turns out it was one of them ironic nicknames.
>>43130035lil shid
>>43091004>
>>43130035I finally understand why women hate incelslook at this little freak, so self absorbed with no sense of shame, staring at (you), mouth full of oats without any thoughts or concerns even faintly being considered or feltwhat a freak
>>43130366in all seriousness how the hell do you even design a controller for hooves? Just an arcade stick?
>>43130925holy cute
>>43131108
>>43130925Which hornse is this
>>43132018Why?
>>43132333It's healthy for you and you'll have more energy for mares after you wake up.Also, nice trips.
>>43132411Yeah, well, nice dubs.And I ain't sleeping unless ponies give me NyQuil.
>>43130733I imagine it'd be two bowls with an indent to to stick your front hooves in that lets you move it on the x and y axis.Left hole controls UDLR. Push down for L1, right hole controls XABY, push down for R1. Push both for START/PAUSE.Something like https://youtu.be/Gqf6x4RfKDc but with a hole for the hoof to rest on, rather than a bowl.Bonus to this. This wack ass keyboard seems to be pretty good for people with chronic dexterity issues or old people with arthritis, so fancy that.
>>43132018Funny, horses sleep less hours than a human, so this scenario would actually be reversed. She'd be worried sick that you've been asleep for 10 hours (horses sleep for like 5h) but is unable to do anything that'd jeopardize the gangstalking.
>>43132437The owners of "Misha the house horse" had to keep her out of the bedroom. She wanted to hang out with them in there, sure, but she'd keep trying to wake them up during the night to make sure they were okay
>>43129850Like calling Anon a friend
the mare of /you/r dreams
>>43135841I don’t get it who is this
>>43137274What is that item?
>>43137441A very thick quesadilla. That's fear sweat rolling down her face.
>>43137441It's anon's class, formerly filled with choccy milk, and now mysteriously empty. Twilight claims she knows nothing about it
>>43138886How does she react if anon starts sucking on her horn during his dream
Postan in dead general
>>43140371She could at least wrap the front of his face
Postan in living general
>>43139603>”that’s cool, I’m progressive ”
>>43142375Do not be mean to fillies
>Smithers, who is that go-lucky young Gallahad in 7-G?
>>43137463Anon can shit quesadillas out his butt.
>>43142246reminds me of pilotredsun
>>43143376Pon is a stallion
>>43144918Do NOT be mean to derp horse
>>43145830>Twiggy is racistNobody's surprised
>>43094668Damn. I remember that fanfic. It was called the Bible iirc. Good read.
>>43146306
>>43146306Nice hand cuck
>>43146306>aislop
>>43146306What’s wrong with his had
>>43147756why would you NOT like a cute amre touching you gently?
>>43147940Anon has tasted his own boop medicine, and it is bitter.
>>43146749GIGA BOOP
>>43147756YOU CAN'T POST THAT, IT'S NOT THURSDAY YET!
>ponies weaponizing anon to fuck with other ponies
>day number 45 >You've been banned from many many businesses. >So you do what you must do now, in cover of darkness. >Take out the paint roller. >And the...whatever you call the shit you use to stick up wallpaper. >>>>Tomorrow >Eating brekky>"Anon!" Knock knock knock >"Anon, I know you're in there!" >SLAM SLAM SLAM >"ANON YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" Awright awright....>Put down your bowl of cereal, pull on your pants. >Open door Hey Piggy Twiggy wassup blud. J>"What...? Why are you talking like tha...and don't call me that...! I-oh...never mind! That's not why I'm here." >Twilight grips you with her aura and begins shaking you like a British nanny >"YOU NEED TO STOP! " >"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!"TWIHHIIIGGHH-LLUYIGHT IM GETTING DIZZY- >"Stop it! Stop doing what you're doing RIGHT. NOW. NO MORE!"
>>43149365Stop posting, this is bad.
>>43149365WhattttIOOOIRUwgwghgggffgh>Casual throw up on twilight. >That gets her to release you. >"Ew! Eewwww! Ew ew ew!" >Twilight cringes. >"I swear to Celestia we should've put you in a statue..." >Wipe mouthI don't understand the felicities of the common man, but surely I must sire myself a future worth remembering. >Twilight deadpans >"Just...stop. ok? Stop. I know what you've been doing and it's going way too far. "Whatever do you mean, twilight? >"I know it's you. I know it's you! You're the one who's been 'redecorating' people's houses! With that...."Oh...>Reach into pocket You mean this? >Display a polaroid >>43124499>"Agh!" Twilight averts her eyes. >Take the opportunity to do the dinosaur and BTFO into ponyville. >"Hi Anon!" Hey Pinkie>She's running along next to you. >"Y'cant keep putting that picture up everywhere y'know I know you really really like it and it's really weird and kinda interesting but a lotta ponies don't like it and you keep putting it on sugar cube corners doors and windows and now daisy jo won't sell us milk anymore and OOHHHHH speaking of do you wanna get a milkshake I-" >Lolno.wav >Show her photo >"Eep!" >She crashes into some trash cans. >WIN. >finally reach your destination >"Oh no you don't!" >Rainbow dash is chasing you down. >"I am gonna MESS. YOU. UP. ANON!" AWHHHH FUUUUUGGGGKKNHHUuhhh....>Run. >Rainbow dash is speed thoughC'Mon! What'd I ever do to you! >"YOU PUT A COPY OF THAT STUPID PICTURE IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY DARING DO BOOKS! MY PARENTS THINK IM A WEIRDO LIKE YOU NOW!" >FWWSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH-display photo >"OH COME ON-" >Fwip >Rainbow steers off course and crashes....somewhere. >Keep running>Pass by houses, with copies of your favourite photo wallpapered all over them. >Your work is growing. >It's near in sight. >The mirror pool.
>>43149412>Just need to..>"That's more than enough." >A voice descends upon your personage like thunderous sunlight, gripping the very edges of your mind and causing you to retract inwards. >Out steps Celestia from behind, for whether she has taken hold of you by magic, you can not say. >The photo is lifted from your pocket. >Celestia cringes and incinerates it. >Then proceeds to search down and burn the other five hundred copies you'd been carrying on you. >"Anon," she looks down at you, eyes piercing like knives "we must talk." >Hours later >Innacastle >Sitting on the floor >Celestia thinks you're retarded. >She's out a paper hat on you. >"I must admit, I did find it rather humorous...." She clicks her tongue "but you cannot go around terrorizing ponies for no good reason. It makes me look bad." But it's my favourite picture.>"I thought you did not want anyone to see it...?" Yes >"So.."Yes>"...right. well...perhaps there is some sort of compromise...?" Maybe...but could you look at something for me? >"Oh! Well, yes I suppose I- oh damn it. " >>>Later >Sitting in ponyville town square, on the fountain. >Throwing bread at ducks. >"HWEANK!" The loaf makes a thud as it impacts the creature. >"Y'know that isn't good for them right...?"
>>43147940Affects my allergies
>It's been a year since I posted my last green.Fugg :DDWhy does my beautifully smooth brain struggle so hard to write stories?Well, time to carry on the annual tradition of saying I'm gonna writefag and then disappearing for a year.
>>43149858>Day 473 of being a social parasite innaquestria.>Be Anon.>Be chilling in the treebrary.>You are currently engaged in honing the craft you have been mastering your entire life.>That is, the craft of being a total NEET.>So far, you have spent your entire existence in Equestria shirking every responsibility and dodging every job opportunity.>And, by Celestia's sweet ass, were you good at it.>You have contributed absolutely nothing to the society which had adopted you, after you randomly woke up on the outskirts of town one day.>You have not earned a single bit in your entire time here, not even a fraction of one.>You have only been financial drain on your gracious host, the compassionate pony known as "Twilight Sparkle".Suddenly, you hear the sound of the front door to the library slamming open.>"Anonymous!">That sounded a lot like a certain Purple Smart.>And she sounded *very* angry.>Surely, she couldn't be upset at such a kind and thoughtful soul such as yourself?>Oh crap, did she find out you used the pages from that book with the two gold horses on it to practice your origami?>It looked super old, so you thought nopony would miss it.>When she was trying to find it the other week, you had the sad realisation the world will never get to see your sweet fucking origami - lest you face the wrath of the violet nerd.>Your thoughts are swiftly interrupted as you hear another bellow echo throughout the hollow tree.>"Come here, right now!">You should probably go there, right now.>You cautiously tread down the steps and towards the fuming unicorn mare."H-hey... twiggles... is there something wrong?">"Something wrong?! You lied to me Anonymous! And don't call me "twiggles"!""Okay! I'm sorry! I'll buy you a new book!">"Why would you lie to me about being from another world and never being able to see your parents again?!""Wait... what? What do you mean?">"I thought I was finally getting you to open up to me, only to find out you told me nothing but lies.""I don't understand what you're talking about; I *am* from another world.">"If that's true, then how was I able to run into your parents this morning?">Your parents?>They're here in Equestria?"You met my parents?">"Yes! And they've spent the last year, worried sick, waiting for you to come home!""Home? And you're saying my parents are in Ponyville?">"Of course they are! And I've brought them with me - they're waiting outside."
>>43149862>On cue, an older mare and stallion peek their heads around either side of the still open front door.>"Long time no see, sport. Why dontcha come on home with us?">Said by... your "father", apparently.>"We have so much catching up to do!">And presumably that is your "mother".>Keeping your eyes on the two strangers, you lean towards the book horse."Hey, um, Sparkle... you know my parents aren't horses, right?">"Oh nonono, fool me once, shame on me but I'm not falling for your tricks again!""Twilight, I've never met these ponies in my life.">"I don't know why you ran away from home, Anonymous, but I think it's time you went back to your family.">Before you could protest anymore, Twilight uses her magic to push you outside where your "parents" are waiting.>"We can reconcile at a later date!">And with that she shuts the door.>"Aww, I'm so happy to see my baby safe and sound!">The middle-aged mare rears up on her hind legs and hugs you around the waist.>You feel another set of forelegs wrap around you from the other side."Let's go home, son.">The stallion smiles at you warmly.>At this moment, you only have one thought in your head:>What the hell is going on?Okay, that's all for now. Give me some ideas of what (you)r pony parents look like, so I can write the next part.I hope this comes off as interesting to you as the idea did in my head. Hopefully this idea hasn't been done already, too.Not sure how well I did with the speech, as always feedback would be appreciated.
Hope there are other anons watching the Artemis II stream.
>>43149866Crap. That "Let's go home, son." should be green.
>>43149866>What the hell is going on?My thoughts exactly.
>>43149866This is awful.
>>43149458That was awesome, well done writefren. Who knew cow titty was so traumatizing.>>43149858Did you write a cloud watching green with dash? You seem familiar, Mr anonymous
>>43150136Chris Hoofson with dateline
>>43149368>>43150140>Noone believes me when I tell them everything is awful
