>Lookie here sugarcube. You don’t have to be a dangerous omnivore and supplement your diet with the flesh of poor defenseless critters. All you need right here is some pastries and some apples. Then you’re set for life. Well don’t just stand there, help me whip up a batch for all of us! Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie are stoppin’ by and they’ll be grinning ear to ear when they hear I changed your diet in an afternoon.
>>43106893Anon want steak
>"See Anon you don’t need to eat meat. You can eat fruit and all sorts of other delicious delicacies that aren’t derived from the broken dreams of a poor dead animal. I can even enchant the food I make for you to have the nutritional properties of meat so you get all your vitamins. What do you say? Do it for me?"
>>43106893>>43106904BITCH, I DID NOT EAT THAT DEER FLUTTERSHY WAS LOOKING FOR! THAT DUMBASS RAN OFF INTO THE WOODS LIKE THE DIPSHIT HE IS!
>>43106893That's all good Applejack, I'd be a pony once I go to Equestria so I'll enjoy the hayburgers and other equestrian luxuries.
>>43106893That's it, I'm moving to Manehattan Hope (((griffon))) diaspora is tolerant to fellow omnivores
>>43106908>"But it's been weeks, and Mr. Deerly would never abandon his family like that. I know that you were the last one to see him too. Please just tell us where his family can find him, Anon."
>>43106893Don’t tell Fluttershy, but I actually raided her chicken coop earlier to make tendies.
>>43106893What part of "I need a varied diet of meat and plants in order to live" don't you ponies understand?
>>43106930>Anon's not actually the one eating all the animals>It's Fluttershy that is using Anon as a scapegoat
>>43106967>"Uh, you told me those were hay tendies. I mean, they had to be, they were super good, like, they were honestly some of the best tendies I've ever had.">"They were made of hay, right?"
>>43107033Yeah, of course. What else would they be?
>>43106893Yes dear…
>>43106930>Mr. Deerly would never abandon his family like thatSo he didn't.>I know that you were the last one to see him too.How's that? Do you have video evidence we can look at? Or did some other pony tell you they saw me with Mr. Deerly, in which case they'd be the last to see him too. Look, Fluttershy. I didn't murder and eat Mr. Deerly. And we live under the rule of Celestial law, so even if I did do it, it wouldn't be right to punish me for it without evidence. Contact the authorities and have them do their job. We don't live in a pre-diarchian tragedy.
>>43106930We literally see Fluttershy feeding fish to other animals, I don't see the point of this.
>>43107033Yes but the sauce was my cum. Sorry to lie to your Dashie.
>>43106904>>43106930>>43107033bruh put me in duh PTS doe like, I wanna be famous like cheef queef
>>43106893Applejack would never say that, maybe Fluttershy would
>>43107274Yeah but that's season 1 Fluttershy who hasn't been flanderized yet.
>This shit againFuck off.
>>43106893>>43106904“Thats nice ladies.” >continues reading this book
ham sangwich
>>43106967NOOOO! scootaloo!!!
>>43106893is applejack a virgin because if so then she's not a true country girl
>>43108356>braising saddles
>>43108232Are you such a brainlet you can't understand the difference between sapient animals and not?
>>43106904>Celestia wiggles her rump slightly from side to side. Each swing counts down the passing seconds as she eagerly awaits your answer–her eyes following your every move.>She’s almost cheek to cheek with the smiling short stack that’s floating by her head.>”I’ll give you a chance to think about it. Take as long as you’d like, I set aside quite a bit of time for us today.”>So, Sunbutt paid for you to come all the way out here just because she wants you to try out her new meat enchantment…>She even had the castle servants prepare a feast just for you. The long dining hall table is covered in a hearty spread, with enough food there to feed every pony at the Apple family reunion twice.>And while it is true that you do miss eating meat, you’re also kind of tired of being seen as a test subject all the time.>Especially by creepy princesses that like to stare at you for way, way too long.>You get enough of that shit back home from fucking Twilight whenever you catch her trying to watch you sleep.>Or from Luna when you catch her watching you in your dreams.>Though to be fair, you do dream about streaking in random places way too much.>Like at the last Apple family reunion.>You’ve been in Equestria for a long time now though, and by this point, you miss the taste of meat enough to give this enchantment thing of Celestia’s a shot.Sure. I’ll give it a taste.>Just as long as she doesn’t make it weird.>"Wonderful." Celestia prances in place on the tips of her hooves. They echo in the empty dining hall.>“I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you say that. I’ve actually been working on this particular spell for quite a while, so I’m very interested to see what you’ll think.”>Her horn glows golder still, and the magical energy surrounding the floating plate of pancakes intensifies until a bright flash of light follows the end of the spell.>When you open your eyes back up, the stack of pancakes smiles and starts talking to you.>"Hi there, Anon. I'm Mr. Pancake! Do you want to be friends?"Uh…>Before you can answer, Celestia says, “See? It’s almost just like a living creature!”>She then takes a butter knife and stabs him between his blueberry eyes.>Mr. Pancake gasps.>He only starts screaming when Celestia smiles and twists the knife, boring a hole in his head.>"This way, you get all the thrills of eating meat--the hunt, the carnage, the killing!--but without any of the guilt that comes from hurting any of Equestria's creatures.">"It hurts!" Mr. Pancake wails.>"Oh?">She spins the plate around so that he's facing her malevolent grin.>"Does it really?...">Seeing her predatory gaze bearing down on him as she licks her lips, he stops screaming, if only for a second.>She speaks through grit teeth:>"Now die, Mr. Pancake!">You watch as Celestia growls and then sinks her teeth into him. She lifts him up off the plate, letting it shatter on the castle floor.
>>43109378>Holding him in her mouth like a rabid dog, she shakes him around, his screams reaching you in choppy waves as he is ripped apart.>Soon Mr. Pancake is silent. Celestia ceases mauling him. Her chest is heaving, a shred of his corpse still hangs limply from the side of her mouth.>When she smiles at you, her lips are glistening with stickiness from his syrupy blood.>”See? Isn’t this much better?”>Does Celestia think you’re some kind of savage? Is she just as retarded as Linky is back in Ponyville?>You open your mouth, unsure of what to say at first, before settling on something innocent-sounding:Did you... have to make him feel pain?>You hope she doesn’t notice that your feet are pointing towards the door.>"Oh, Anon." Celestia chuckles, and wipes some crumbs off of her face.>"I know Mr. Pancake seemed like he was actually alive, but he was just a pancake that I had enchanted. He couldn't actually feel any pain at all, he just believed that he could."So can you enchant him to believe that he can’t feel any pain?>"No.">Silence for a moment. Celestia swallows, her mouth dry. A shred of Mr. Pancake’s face is still stuck to her cheek.Yeah… This isn’t going to work.>”You need to taste it before you say anything.”I need to go.>“You said you would taste it.”Nah, I really can’t. I’m actually feeling really sleepy right now, and Twilight hates it when I take naps where she can’t watch me.>"Can you just give it a chance for me?">When you open your mouth again you hear her horn sparkle, and a piece of Mr. Pancake flies into your mouth.>Meat…>You chew slowly, then not so slowly. Celestia watches you the entire time.>At first it tastes kind of like pork chop sandwiches–it was even hot too–but the flavor of this fluffy pancake meat keeps changing the more you enjoy it.>Chicken, pork, beef, lamb, fish, venison.>Just one bite is enough to make you feel like you’re home again.>As you swallow, you slowly raise your gaze up from the floor until you lock eyes with Celestia.>She’s been staring at you this whole time, and licking her lips like you’re Mr. Pancake.Can you…>”Hmm. Can I what?”Can you... make it so they aren't alive?>"No."Work with me here.>"I can make it so you can't hear their screams."Okay, deal.>”Wonderful.”>Now swinging her rear with full abandon, she casts another spell. The plates of food that line the great table of the dining hall all call out to you with some variation of “Hi, Anon!”>Except for one–”He’s gonna kills us!”--who is quickly silenced by Celestia.>”That crepe can wait his turn,” she says, staring daggers at the now-silent plate. “Now, before we start, I’ll have to go and get the earplugs.”I also want you to keep your sister out of my dreams from now on.>"Fine. But you have to wear this when you eat.">She lifts up a scrap of a loincloth--no bigger than a dishtowel--with her magic.
>>43109384>You want to say no, but you think of the porkchop sandwiches.…Deal.>Her entire face is turning red; she starts stammering. "And m-make cavepony noises for me the whole time…?"I'll do a few grunts.>”I want lots of ooga boogas!”A few grunts, that’s it.>”Well, okay, for now.” She wipes her chin; she’d been drooling. “Just make sure they’re loud or I won't be able to hear you over all the screaming."
>>43109386Coomers need electrotherapy
>>43109378>Mr. Pancake gaspsHeavens, anon, how could you make me laugh like that
>>43108784She’ll crush your face under her ass.
>>43109936YEEEEEHAWWW
>>43109386Okay this got a laugh out of me thank you very much.Can you post it to ponepaste, or the sun general.
>>43109936
>>43106893>supplement your diet with the flesh of poor defenseless crittersOkay but what if I hunt and eat dangerours carnivorous animals then?
>>43109999>*Dies of vitamin A overdose*
>>43109999You’ll destroy the ecosystem. Prey without predators leads to everything falling in disarray. Predation means resources are kept in check and biomes flourish. Therefore it would make more sense to hunt some ungulate in Equestria, although preferably one thats too stupid to talk or maybe an ugly yak or buffalo.
>>43110323How many predators can a single human at peak physical fitness bring down in a day? Unless one is using magic, firearms or masses of traps and snares, most of the predatory wildlife in g4 can sneak, fight or breed their way out of existential danger.Their own abilities shalk keep any potential hunter in check, and one does not need that much meat daily if he is hunting for himself (with a stable food source).
>>43109386Celestia pines for the sounds of agony and anguish of battle, and damnit this is the next best thing
>>43110323>You’ll destroy the ecosystemCome on mate, a single man hunting on his own without tools of mass destruction cannot possibly destroy a whole ecosystem
>>43109378>>43109384>>43109386great onesurprised more people haven't seen it before
I'm going to eat Yona and nobody can stop me. But, honestly, why would anyone WANT to stop me?
>>43110439>”a single man hunting on his own without tools of mass destruction cannot possibly destroy a whole ecosystem”
>>43106893>this fucking trope again
>>43109386Kek
>>43106893Horses are generally herbivores, but they are still opportunistic omnivores.Humans are omnivores.
>>43109386>The earplugs don't work.>"Oh God... oh God...">It's muffled slightly, but you can still hear all the food on the table, hear them fearing for their lives.>Most of them don't scream anymore, choosing to accept their fate and suffer in grim silence instead.>Unless you grab one of them.>"Aaah!" Like this pickle you’re currently holding in your hand (you hope it tastes like sausage.)>You set your teeth on the end of him that's screaming, making sure that you're getting the head this time, and chomp his top off, silencing him in an instant.>He tastes like six different kinds of pork; you don't know all the names of what's in your mouth but it's all cooked and seasoned to perfection.>You’re really hoping that Twilight can replicate this when you get back home because Celestia's spell is amazing.>"Oh God..." The food mutters to themselves, watching you eat. "Oh God...">"Look at me," Celestia says to them, as soothingly as she can while she's also got one hoof down in her crotch.>She only breaks out the Royal Canterlot voice if--"Look At ME!!!">If they don't listen to her.>But she tries to send them to their dooms with all the sympathy she can show, while also touching her own marehood.>"I gave all of you the gift of life, didn't I? As far as I'm concerned, that means I am your God.">"Oh God...">"Yes," she moans, rubbing her pussy with one of your dirty spoons; you had disemboweled some pudding with it earlier.>You're eating with your hands, by the way. Celestia got rid of all the silverware pretty quickly after you disrobed and put on the loin cloth.>She gave you one other spoon, for ice cream.>But after you were finished with it, her ass just ate that thing up like it was a lollipop. The silver handle was currently sticking out of her ponut like it was the stick.>So, even though she was next to you at the head of the table, she definitely wasn't sitting.>"And this handsome beast here,” she says while caressing your arm, “he's death. For all of you.">You grunt like Tim ‘The Tool Man’ Allen in response, then wipe some grease that was on your hands off on her flanks.>Celestia moans and whinnies. Collapsing forward on the table, she cums all over your dirty spoon.>She mumbles in a daze, “He’ll kill you all… for me…”>She can say that, but it’s not true. You're actually getting really fucking full.>You haven’t made a dent in the huge spread Celestia prepared for you, and it's cold in the dining hall, especially with your bare tuckus exposed.>She teleported all your clothes away somewhere, you don’t know where.>After taking out your earplugs, you begin looking for an exit.>Luna suddenly appears in the doorway behind Celestia.>Her eyes take in a lot, darting rapidly from the table to the talking food to her sister to the spoon handle that's bobbing up and down in her sister's twitching ponut.>Her shock only fades once she gets a good look at you, naked.
>>43111338>"I thought I had left the dream realm..." she says slowly, her eyes filling with stars as they begin trailing up your bare legs.>Seeing your shivering ass makes her smile. "But where else could I find something so dreamy?">Celestia scrunches her blazing-red muzzle and angrily turns on her sister.>"What are you doing?” Luna shrugs. “I told you breakfast was cancelled today!">"Forgive me for interrupting, but it doesn't look cancelled," Luna says, smiling.>"Get out!">"Maybe I will–”>”Now!”>”If Anon chases me….">She giggles and catches your eye, Celestia fuming all the while. Is that an out? It sounds like she’s giving you an out.>”He’s not going anywhere,” Celestia says, grabbing hold of your bicep and pushing her cheek against it, rubbing herself against your arm. “Anon likes it here, with me. Tell her.”>You shrug. Then you bend your arm into a chicken wing shape to push Celestia’s face off of you, more, until she’s back on her side of the table.>"Now don’t be greedy, sister,” Luna says. “I’ll have you know that Anon loves to run around naked.”>Luna sighs in bliss before you can say anything in your defense.>“He even dreams about it.">"Like you don't.">Celestia turns to you, not knowing that you were busy planning a crafty escape at that moment.>“Back me up here.”>You nod, do your Tim Allen caveman grunt, and, when Celestia moans, you stand and shove her backwards into her chair.>Her ass lands flat on the seat.>She gasps.>Her eyes grow as wide as dinner plates.>She sits rigidly, back straight, not moving at all, not even blinking or breathing.>Her lips tremble silently. Her eyes shut tight.>A deep rumbling comes from within her, bubbling up from her depths, building and building until, slowly, she cranes back her neck and lets out a whinny that pierces the heavens.>Your feet can feel the floor getting sticky on Celestia’s side.>Luna’s horn glows and soon your eyes and ears are filled with her sparkly nightblue magic; teleportation: it feels like you’re about to float out of your chair.>The world blinks. A second later, your feet touch down on one of the plush rugs that line the hallways of Canterlot Castle.>The dining hall door is not far. A bunch of servants and even a few guards, who had all gathered outside to eavesdrop, quickly make themselves scarce once they see you and Luna appear.>It’s quiet now, with just you and her. This is the first time in a while that your ears haven’t been filled with either screams or Celestia’s moaning.>Her face heats up as she stares at you. Her eyes could burn a hole through your loin cloth.So… maybe I should explain.>”You don’t need to tell me what happened,” she says, sighing. “My sister’s love life has always had its… issues.”>Following a flash of magic light, Luna shows you that she has your clothes; they are held within her nightblue aura and floating next to her face.
>>43111342>”I found these in my sister’s bedroom, by the way,” she says, smirking at you.It’s not what you think.>”Like I said, you don’t need to tell me anything.”>You reach for them, but she pulls back.>“But…” she says, turning around and flicking her tail back your way, “you do have to… Catch me!”>She takes off down the hallway, giggling and looking back to see your stunned face as she trots away.>Sometimes stealing sniffs from your boxers, always shoving the crotch against her muzzle when she does.>”Come on, I’m leading you towards the exit anyway,” she says. “Unless you’d rather go to my chambers now…?”>You don’t have time to move when the dining hall doors burst open and Celestia is standing there, regarding you with a crazed look in her eyes.>”I,” she pauses, wiping some drool off of her bottom lip, “have never cum so hard in my life…!”>You can still hear some of the food screaming behind her.>“Help us!”>“We’re in here!”>“Oh God… oh God…”>Celestia stares at you, knowing that you’re about to run.>”Luna should know better than to play with my food like this.”…What?>”You’re not going anywhere.”>Run.>You go streaking after Luna, with a full stomach, and Celestia following in close pursuit, still limping a bit from having her asshole torn by your dirty spoon.
>>43106893But can I turn Angel into rabbit soup if he acts like a cock gobbler again?
Dude I would shoot myself if I broke Applejack's heart this scenario is too much for me
>>43111454The scenario is nonsensical, unless you are a muslim. Applejack does not loath fluttershy, and she has a dog.
>>43111761The ponies themselves (or Pinkie Pie) says their diets are strictly vegetarian. Winona is a dumb dog and dogs can already eat plant matter. They likely don't care if stupider species eat meat, but something more conscious i.e. humans would scare them. Like I don't give a shit that right now some hyenas are disemboweling a zebra and laughing at it.
>>43110004Wait... do carnivores have more vitamin A in their muscles than herbivores?
>>43106904>I reposted it again!>Mom look!
>>43106904make a steak subsitute that tastes like steak nigga
>>43106893If I don't get meat I literally die. At least let me get some fish, Fluttershy gives them to her critters.
>>43112551No, but they do in their livers. You can get too much vitamin A if you eat their livers. Liver is nice if you actually cook it properly and only eat it around once a month. Pregnant women shouldn't eat liver.
Why do so many people get offended at the idea that maybe the vegetarian ponies would like you to also eat vegetarian when you live with them?
>>43113140Because it literally contradicts show canon.
>>43113270
>>43113270Which show? Because you're certainly not talking about MLP
>>43114126wasn't there a scene where a table full of food is pulled away from Applejack, including a ham sandwich?
>>43106893Has anyone ever actually made apple piroshki with apple slices that have their skins on them like Applejack does in oppic or does everyone use apple jam?
>>43106893The ponies would at least let you eat fish.
>>43114141https://youtu.be/oE8gwUDlLWw?si=JxopcXrraRwticNL&t=126
>>43114167I feel like her way wouldn't be sweet enough
>>43114126>>43114138>>43114170
>>43114170Fishsticks are close enough to tendies I guess
>>43114126>>43111306The ponies themselves might generally be herbivores, but that doesn't mean that they would want everyone else to be herbivores.
>>43106893What if I specifically kill and eat critters that can defend themselves and are an actual threat to others? What then, huh? Would you complain if I chowed down on the hydra down by the swamp you been complaining at city hall about?
>>43115795Reminds me of eating deathclaw steaks, mutant hound chops, cooked crab meats, and so on in Fallout 4. I feel old now.
>>43115824>I feel old now.>in Fallout 4.
>>43115832That game was released over a decade ago, and even the last patch before the next gen update came out of nowhere was years ago.
>"H-horses would never eat me-- ACK!"
>>43115856That one is so much more terrifying with sound. You literally hear the last chirp.
>>43115824You missed radscorpion steaks.
>>43115964True, but I did say "and so on".
>>43114126Why would an indian complain about vegetarianism?
>>43114126Pinkie is lying here because she eats a ton of pastries, which includes eggs.
>>43117073Tons of vegetarians and vegans don’t include eggs or even milk sometimes. The obvious takeaway is they don’t eat the flesh of living animals.
>>43115208It's just a ragebait thread, we've been having these for years
>>43117084>they don’t eat the flesh of living animalsMost humans don't eat animals alive, either.
>>43117106We eat trillions of microbes and those are living.
>>43111306>zoofag facts nobody asked for
>>43106893Never ask>a man his salary>a woman her weight>Applejack what she raises the pigs for
>>43118247Why is Applejack raising so many anons moms? That's yer ma over there!
>>43117073Eating eggs, milk, and honey is vegetarian.
>>43118249>Ignore the intent, and embrace pedantry.
>>43118247Truffles are hard to find, anon. Pigs find them easily.
>>43118247>Applejack what she raises the pigs forAnon loves apple trees but can't figure out where they get all the fertilizer from. For shame!
>>43118237Get a load of this guyHe doesn't want horse facts
>>43118746I think Apple Bloom produces enough fertiliser for the Apple family alone
>>43108356pic>>43109386kek
>>43118247Or the sheep or cows. Faust and the writers just put “farm iconography” and didnt think of the logic behind it.
>>43119086The sheep and cows could still make sense. Wool and milk. Ez. Same for chickens: eggs.
>>43119415Yeah, the pigs are the only one that isn't immediately obvious but they serve as a way to deal with bad apples that would otherwise rot out a compost pile.
>>43119415But she harvest apples. I’m supposed to believe she can somehow raise Apple Bloom, take care of Granny, kick trees, sell the apples, pick the apples, do home chores, see her friends, eat, pee, sleep and take care of multitudes of other animals some of which are still sapient?
>>43119451They have other workers who help, like this mule who Twilight's giving the fuck-me eyes to.
>>43109978what's this from?
>>43119845Nigga u stupid
>>43119851Forgot I had this thread open and bumped it by accident.
>>43118277What intent? It's not "technically" moment, the core difference between vegetarianism versus veganism is being able to eat eggs and drink milk. We literally see Twilight non-consesually milk the cows in the s01 episode, and see Pinkie cracking eggs for her baking.
>>43118765Apple Bloom is a little shit machine. All of the CMC are, especially Shitty Belle and Scootapoo
>>43119848Secret horse files, it's a game>>43120395This.Vegetarianism encompasses a variety of different structures. Lacto-ovo can eat milk and eggs, lacto only does milk, not eggs, and vegan is the most extreme stricture, refusing all animal-based products. Some folks used to call lacto-ovo-piscine a stricture, but they've largely been kicked out of the tent as "not vegetarian" for eating fish.
>>43118247extra bits from the griffons
>>43119848>being this newWhat's it like?
>>43121442>kicked out of the tentImagine the purity spirals that must exist in vegan/ vegetarian ism.What a bunch of douchenozzles.
>>43121872It's really the vegans that are holier than thou, the other strictures tend to be more laid-back
>>43121442HOOOT DAMN>>43121870Being normal, am I supposed to start using 4chan knowing everything? twat
>>43121945I think that may have been a bad example, but if you had just lurked more, you might not have lacked critical information>admitting being a normiejeez anon do you want your opinion to be entirely discarded from the get-go?
