First for HIE!

>Ponyville's only Foal Services worker can barely keep up with the rampant molestation
Are they participating?

>>43134447
It's a community activity, Anon.

>>43134408
Based

>>43134450
I'd like to think that they're the one Ponyvillian with a moral enough center that seeing Scootaloo doesn't immediately trigger unreasonable amounts of lust or uncontrolled violent aggression.

>>43134400
I haven't been mentioned in the OP in a while. I guess I spend too much time on /a/ to be funny here nowadays.

>>43134561
You know, despite this being an anime website, I always forget /a/ exists. Maybe it's because I don't watch FotMs, but /a/'s so broad of a topic that I can't reliably find anything that interests me on there. It's like if fimfic wasn't just turned into genfic, but into the digital equivalent of Barnes & Noble.

>>43134587
The events are pure sovl but I mostly stick to a few threads for things I follow outside of them. Except for /pc/. Do not visit /pc/.

>>43134627
>do not visit /pc/
Am I missing something? This just looks like a regular general
>>>/a/287043161
hot dang is that big post count emasculating compared with ours

>>43134648
The only emasculating thing over there is the amount of troons ERPing while avatarfagging with cute anime girls

>>43134674
...And how is that any different from this place?

>>43134674
I've been in /a/ for over a decade and a half and I've somehow managed to avoid roleplaying faggots.
I suppose it's mainly thanks to sticking to threads for old series, and bailing on threads for newer series once they become too popular.

>>43134674
that's rich, coming from a flaggot.

>>43134648
In terms of consistency over time it has the highest concentration of mental illness and ritualposters of any thread besides dbs, and most of them don't interact with the rest of the board which makes it particularly bad as a microcosm of its own degeneration. You have some people genuinely talking about the series or appreciating cunny but way too many spammers, idiots, and trolls. It was particularly bad during late Idol PreCure; the series falling off a cliff in quality broke a lot of people and towards the end you had three simultaneous threads all going to bump limit and all equally terrible, but overall it's simply too big to be good. The series is simultaneously too popular and too insular compared to the rest of the board. It's likely filled with literal children too given the proven overlap with r/precure which is filled with kids. Admittedly it got a little better now, but still not worth being on even with all the Arcana fanart posted.
>>43134682
Honestly I've never seen actual roleplay, the closest is the ironic "we're all lolis here" on buyfag.

>>43134754
Ironic?

>>43134834
There was a point where I understood what m00t had said about wanting to be the little girl.
But in the past decade, I am no longer sure.

>>43134834
We can't let them know the truth, anon.

File: luna's readjustment scrapbook.png (1.34 MB, 1280x1978)

1.34 MB PNG

18th for best duo!
Enjoy this conveniently packaged Tuna: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/368429/sparkle-date-me

>>43135610
I remember that one, it's cute.

>>43134459
What about Rainbow Dash?

Is there a fic where all the mane 6 are stallions except Twilight?

>>43133896
Asked you not to be mean about it, now everyone will know I'm a pleb
https://youtu.be/qqPOeC-tnKI
>sugar belle improving as a baker doesn't preclude her cutie mark from influencing her baking. not only meaning that her intrusive thoughts weren't proven wrong, but if anything, were proven right
So what if her fears were right? She followed the recipe to the letter so they came out the same, her glutton daughter spat that shit out, but they tasted different to Sugar Belle. So in that case what changed and evolved was not her baking, but her senses. The product is the same but her worldview isn't. Even in that case, the end result is that she doesn't feel tied down to her cutie mark anymore. She achieves peace of mind either way

>>43135778
Yeah, it's called Get Better Taste, You Raging Homo

File: image.png (52 KB, 922x266)

52 KB PNG

Hello

>>43135803
What a faggot

>>43133909
I'd like to extend a very big "kill yourself" to you.

>>43135764
Dash has brain damage from crashing. Notice how the only ponies nice to Scootaloo in the show have some form of brain damage.

>>43135893
Why?

>>43135778
https://foalfetch.net/story/53511
I didn't know it had been deleted.

>>43134676
Here they ERP as fillies

>>43135981
For recommending dykeshit.

File: glacierclear smooch.jpg (889 KB, 2045x2991)

889 KB JPG

>>43135632
That they are!

>>43136494
Wait, glacierclear?

>>43136494
Me on the right

File: 852113__suggestive_artist(...).jpg (748 KB, 1833x2812)

748 KB JPG

>>43136519
What about Glacierclear?

>>43137341
>Kas posting mls

>>43137392
Look closer, that's femanon.

>>43137395
...which is what makes that mls, yes.

>>43137392
Glacierclear drew it for me eleven years ago this month.

>>43137392
>>43137439
What does divegrass have to do with this?

>>43137621
>could have met a girl, done the dirty, and raised a child halfway to adulthood already
Usecase for chasing fetishes rather than realizing them?

>>43137679
He wants pregnant mares, not pregnant women.

>>43137621
You're a woman?

>>43137698
With emphasis on the pregnancy. He hasn't shown any interest on what happens afterwards, from what I remember.

>>43137714
Kas can look after the pregnant mares, and Fae can adopt the foals.
I will be in charge of impregnating the mares.

File: They didn't leave room fo(...).jpg (759 KB, 3000x4000)

759 KB JPG

>>43137751
Why aren't the pregnant mares raising their kids? Are they assholes?

>>43137698
Ahem:
https://derpibooru.org/images/3126279

>>43137778
Maybe it's a case where he wants them in situations in Equestria but doesn't want them to be anthro or semi-humanized?

>>43137785
Kassaz was always fetish first, then pony second (or third).

>>43137793
I can respect that.

I should write a Buutton Cheerilee Sweetie version of that manga where a mesugaki tries to get her shota childhood friend to like her over their oppai teacher.

>>43137751
Some day Fae will write a pregnancy fic and it'll be like entering a bizzaro world.

>>43137772
It's Ponyville, they're all assholes.

>>43137820
You could just write something that's normal.

>>43137877
Sir, this is an mlp fanfiction thread.

File: peggle sis.png (565 KB, 900x585)

565 KB PNG

>>43137827
I'm fine with pregnancy, I just like family stuff first and foremost and "x character decides to take in a child" is easier to work with in terms of setup. Celestia finds a trash baby takes less setup and expectations from your audience than say, Twilight got knocked the fuck up by Big Mac after he solved some hard math equation or some shit. You have to do a lot more work for something that's not your intended focus, you know?

>>43137886
Yeah, but just think of all the ways the parents to be will be fantasising about having a kid. All the plans and ideas and worries about how they'll be a family.

File: need to breed you.jpg (159 KB, 1280x908)

159 KB JPG

>>43137911
Oh no I am 100% down for that shit, but that also sounds like something you do in the sequel for an already finished shipping fic, y'know? Traveling Tutor had that and it was fun. Journey With A Batpony does it too, I think, but at like several hundred thousand words in already.

>>43137927
This stupid meme needs to die already.

File: 1774656856807377.jpg (34 KB, 735x478)

34 KB JPG

>>43137796
You can respect that?!

>>43137968
I need to breed you

>>43137968
This anon isn't very breedable.

>>43137993
I have no womb and I must cream.

>>43137886
Yeah, we know you're a lazy maggot who only craves hedonistic instant satisfaction, a cog in the slop machine with no aspiration to express your humanity.

>>43138030
Haha, yeah.

>>43137980
It's honest. I can respect the honesty.

so what's the deal with the bizarre users registered graph? it had to be bots right? but why

>>43138340
Recently? Isn't it still discord based registration?

>>43138340
hownew.ru

File: Screenshot (232).png (70 KB, 1289x681)

70 KB PNG

>>43138369
this whole strange stuff. 13,000 new users in august 2024 to just 180 a year later
>>43138371
I dont post in this thread and I dont read blog posts on fimfic because I only care about reading the fics and not about hearing retarded author drama. my account on fimfic is 14 yrs old.
I only read stories but I saw this graph and I just wanted to know why

>>43138387
>this whole strange stuff. 13,000 new users in august 2024 to just 180 a year later
There was a huge bot problem so they made it discord registration only.

>>43138389
people using them to bot upvote their stories? how could there be be 13,000 bots registered in a single fucking month just for upvoting stories? are the retards publishing fics on this site really so fucking full of themselves that the problem was that bad?

File: chompers.jpg (278 KB, 1924x1727)

278 KB JPG

>>43138393
The bots were LLM training crawlers, SEO spammers (look them up) and scammers. The scammers were only reduced, they still register through Discord and try to scam users in various ways, usually "commissions." None of these three problems are unique to FiMFiction.

>>43138407
ah ok, figures. thanks for explaining.
>99% of new registrations were malicious bots
dead internet is so real

>>43134587
I find that if you're here, you've hit the point where you're too busy for anime and read manga at best. Half of my fic reading is done on my phone during my commute.

>>43134627
My only exposure to PreCure was Slavemaker 3.

>>43134754
>proven overlap with r/precure which is filled with kids.
How are these kids even on Reddit? Isn't it a show for Japanese little girls? How did English speaking kids find it?

>>43134940
Me too. I've had that exact same sentiment. These days, I think it's to do with wanting to have sex appeal.

>>43138577
It's on Crunchy. Some of them might have even watched Glitter Force too though they'd be older now. It has Sanrio overlap. Youtube. Zoomers and gen alpha in general are online as fuck and precure is huge. You should not be surprised.

>>43135803
>anon complains about being high IQ in South America
Sounds interesting?

>>43138577
>How are kids even on on one of the sites that tries to market itself to kids the most?
Anything that has a dedicated app is targetting the zoomies.

>>43138586
>precure is huge
I had no idea. Even in Japan, I had no idea.

>>43138574
There's gotta be at least one person out there eventually who was or will be first exposed to it through Asanagi making fanart of it.

>>43138597
I wouldn't know. I've used an ad blocker since 2007 and my mobile phone is only used for phone calls and like 3 websites.

>>43138599
It's the second highest grossing magical girl franchise ever beyond Sailor Moon, and I'm pretty sure it will surpass it eventually. Helps when you're shoving out slop every week for over 20 years. It has had a damn stranglehold on the genre and what it's defined as too.

>>43138622
Wasn't Sailor Moon only like 90 episodes and a reboot?

So is Precure any good?

somefag made 1h comic dub of Lil' Miss Rarity
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ha9JXcQTAac

>>43138622
I remember posting in the precure general on /a/ asking them why they liked the series and I can’t remember exactly what they said but it was something about just liking the genre and cute little girls but not in a pedo way.
Though I suppose me questioning someone for looking a little girls show is a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

File: IMG_6490.jpg (194 KB, 1079x1070)

194 KB JPG

>>43138592
He probably meant this. High iq people in less developed countries loathing their own people is a somewhat common pattern. I have seen this a lot with Chinese in particular.

>>43138687
I found the same. I was hoping it would mention IQ specifically.

File: IMG_0899.jpg (29 KB, 224x382)

29 KB JPG

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/540211/ascension-abdication-or-abduction
Im finished reading this and celestia is very unlikable in this fic. She is a devouring mother, especially in relation to the MC. He is justified in hating her. And my previous complaints still stand. In addition the authors writing becomes increasingly exhaustively descriptive. The story could have easily been a third shorter without reaching the point of brevity compromising quality. The development of the MC’s relationships with a lot of the other characters lacks sufficient believability, and the rgre and sexually loose equestria shit isn’t entertaining at all. Again don’t read this slop.

With every HIE fic I’ve read regardless of overall quality the pattern always holds that the sfw slice of life moments are usually enjoyable but the overarching plot and many additional story and writing elements are somewhere from unsatisfying to abysmal dogshit.

Also the MC has a lot of weird parallels with the Greek god Boreas for some reason. I highly doubt this was intentional though since the match isn’t coherent enough. Some particular details are there and some aren’t. Some examples:
>both wear a cloak
>both connected to the cold, the north, storms, and ice/snow
>both characterized as temperamental young men
>Boreas impregnated a bunch of mares as a dark maned stallion, and the MC has a black mane.
>boreas has a myth about trying to take someone’s cloak off while the MC wants his cloak on
>above normal mortals (mc’s an alicorn)
The story implies a sort of masculine storm god vs chaotic/smothering Mother Earth god archetypical dynamic. I also doubt this was intentional since the author is a degenerate that probably wouldn’t choose to insert something like that into their story deliberately.

File: b7a9a.png (773 KB, 801x586)

773 KB PNG

>>43138671
I would only ever watch it if I had ran out of all other Magical Girl shows to watch. I've seen an embarrassing amount of them and they're almost always painfully average.

>>43138737
I mean I feel like you got precisely what you order with a fic like that.

>>43137886
You had one where Celestia was pregnant, technically.

>>43138754
Eh sure. But I have read significantly better hie fics. Ones that I would still consider not especially good. It still could have been better.
Hie longfics are like junk food or fast food. They are of a nature such that they are just good enough to incline you to continue consuming them. Even as you come to dislike what you are consuming and don’t know why you continue.

>>43137679
>Usecase for chasing fetishes rather than realizing them?
The saying about getting powers if you ignore normal life is true.

>>43137698
This post reminds me that I've dreamt of myself in a relationship with a woman a few times and felt horrible for cheating on Rarity until I woke up, kek.

I don't want to contribute to the problem, but I also can't recognize this world as one worthy of children. I'm hoping to live through the coming violence and be a family man afterwards, I guess. Owning horses would be nice.

>>43137714
It's just not what I choose to write about, for the most part, but as I get better I'm writing longer stories where more happens. My commissioners are the reason I'm getting better at writing longer stories, kek.

Also, I just went and reminded myself I have a Trixie story not too far off from some of this.

>>43137911
>Yeah, but just think of all the ways the parents to be will be fantasising about having a kid.
That's easy to write, yeah.

>>43138586
>Zoomers and gen alpha in general are online as fuck
This is another horrifying aspect of having children in the modern age: Most every child having an unhealthy addiction because the right dealers benefit. If it won't be "iPad babies" and the traumatizing shit they've seen, preventable illnesses caused by "vaccines" mandated, or getting killed by boys whose mommies really wanted girls instead, it feels like it'll be something else that tries its damnedest to destroy healthy children.

>>43137392
Also, what are mls? What's an ml?

>>43139095
Don't make me fucking cry anon.

File: 3 spooky mares and Athena.jpg (2.04 MB, 2500x1649)

2.04 MB JPG

>he "knows them when he sees them," but can't recognize them when they're pointed out
hue

File: IMG_6485.png (107 KB, 340x315)

107 KB PNG

>>43139140
>tfw you will never sit around a table conversing with a bunch intelligent, conscientious, pretty mares

File: 770775.jpg (51 KB, 600x430)

51 KB JPG

>>43138760
My greatest regret is having all those people talking about Sunset Shimmer coming out of a Horse Hole and Sunset asking them not to call Celestia that.

>>43139226
Not having a scene of Sunset asking them*

>>43139124
From despair or amusement?

>>43139301
Despair. I'm at the point where I could afford kids, but I'd rather retire early than face the Hell my body compels me to ejaculate into life.

Virginity comes in handy.

>>43139310
>Despair.
As figured.

>I'm at the point where I could afford kids, but I'd rather retire early than face the Hell my body compels me to ejaculate into life.
It's an unpleasant topic, but things get worse if the only people having children are those too stupid to control themselves or think ahead at all, as in "The Marching Morons" or "Idiocracy" which it inspired. It was strange at Mare Fair chatting with people on both extremes of age and being in the middle, seeing how it starts and where it leads. Some men have always chosen to be bachelors for their entire lives, and I fault no one who chooses this, but that feels socially irresponsible these days. Society collapses without maintenance. If I lived in a healthier society that wasn't at threat of being overrun with foreigners, I'd feel no need, but a healthier society would ironically make the whole thing seem more appealing regardless. I keep reminding myself that I've got time, and continuing with my distractions.

>Virginity comes in handy.
Indeed.

Is there such a thing as a normal pregnancy fetishist

Ngl i thought most of you were just lesbians. You come off that way.

>>43138633
It's a manga, about 200 anime episodes, a handful of movies, and a remake that's more faithful to the manga and therefore worse because the manga was kind of ass as bloated as the anime was (kinda like Saint Seya). And it came early enough and was lucky enough.
As for your other question, there are a handful of seasons that are good, and then most languish in good enough to alright territory of being decent slop if you're a fan of the genre with some highlights and no massive lows. And then a few are bad. Last season just divembombed off a cliff and never recovered. This season has a good pedigree but I need to catch back up with it. It'll probably be a massive success for Toei regardless of its quality because they hit the most slam dunk viral design of the entire franchise that blew up even outside of fans.
>>43138671
I assure you it's at least 50% in a pedo way. Even some of the teenage girls into it are into loli.
>>43138740
Magical girls is a weird fucking genre because its origins are so steeped in being slop designed for merch. If you genuinely asked anyone for a serious list of the best series you're only getting two (Cardcaptor Sakura and Doremi) played straight ones, maybe three if they feel like glazing Heartcatch PreCure, and the rest will all be parodies/deconstructions/edgy takes/horny takes/any other kind of different approach.
Anyway watch Princession Orchestra.

>>43139095
Magical Lesbian Spawn

>Kassaz complains about le foreigners but refuses to have children of his own to sustain his ageing society
>but he would let them die of measles anyway
It's actually so funny that people like him are real.

Why is the website shitting itself today?

>>43139586
knighty forgot to renew his pony loicense.

>>43139531
Oh. That's not what Glacierclear's artwork was depicting at all. It's just a woman admiring a mare's fertile figure. Not all affection between members of the same sex must be homosexual.

>>43139545
You know exactly which "vaccine" I meant.

>>43139591
>the guy who draws lesbians totally didn't draw lesbians this time
>he totally didn't go out of his way to draw the female version of the character most often represented as male to make them lesbians
>this is clearly depicting [headcanon]

>>43139711
Shhhhh, let him enjoy his stealth autogynephilia art in peace.

>>43139711
Glacierclear's a girl.

>this is clearly depicting [headcanon]
It was my request, so yes.

Fimfiction is using Cloudflare now?

>>43139525
>kinda like Saint Seya
I always meant to watch that. Did it age well?

>>43139391
I want kids but more importantly I want to be able to be financially stable enough to have kids.

>>43139854
I'm in my late 20s and earning so much that I'd rightfully be considered rich. While I consider women, I would never have obtained my current wealth if I had one. I'll probably give my virginity to a whore (either literal or gold-digging), retire in my 40s, and die having never known a normal relationship. It sucks, but I have never seen a happy couple past their mid-20s and I see nothing worth working past my 50s.

>>43139739
Post her tits. Until then she's a guy.

>>43139869
My grandparents were very happy with each other.
>>43139768
>now

>>43139869
I'm happy with my wife. She asks me to write fanfic about her OCs.

>>43139845
Take this with a grain of salt, but SS is in a fucked up position where after decades the (pretty mediocre) manga still isn't actually finished, and the series is a clusterfuck of different spinoffs / adaptations / side content. I believe it's literally this month's news that the author is finally starting work on the promised remaining portion of the series. But in terms of quality Vs how much of the franchise you need to already know to enjoy something I'm pretty sure the original anime is the peak of it. It's probably at least alright. Going any further than it is a rabbithole I've been repeatedly advised to avoid by those who do dwell in it.

>>43139911
Watching/Reading Lost Canvas as its own thing has also been suggested by some people, as well.

File: IMG_6586.jpg (388 KB, 791x1024)

388 KB JPG

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/360053/the-train-ride
>Herman always believed that ponies were an exceedingly friendly bunch, and he figured it was in their nature to be open and kind to all strangers—even to those of different races. But what if he was wrong? What if there was another explanation?

He mentions this fact in his memoirs, but shortly after he sends them to be published he is informed that the Royal Guard wants him for questioning in Canterlot.
>Additional notes:
-Equestria Girls is not canon

Going to read this since it seems like an unconventional HIE fic.

>>43139869
I'm in my mid-40s and have been happily married for many years. My parents are in their 70s now and they're coming up on their 50th anniversary in a few years. It's not easy to find someone who's worth being married to. Better to stay unmarried than to marry the wrong person. But if you find the right person, it's great.

Whores aren't worth it. Psychology is a huge part of good sex, and if you don't have a fetish for whores, then sex with them isn't much better than jerking off.

>>43138737
It's written by a furry what did you expect?

File: 09b3dff19f898e6d429590cc2(...).jpg (57 KB, 736x755)

57 KB JPG

>>43140110
Girls are nice because their tummies are warm and they'll wrap their arms around you when they're cold.

>>43140206
And then they put their ice cold feet on your calves.
Those fuckers...

File: King_Grover_with_the_Idol(...).png (2.59 MB, 1920x1080)

2.59 MB PNG

>tfw you add a fetish scene that's horror to 95% of potential readers but you still find it hot so it's staying

>>43137714
Why would he? The mare's not fat anymore.

>>43138737
>Boreas impregnated a bunch of mares as a dark maned stallion
interesting. Does that mean that King Grover got some mare action when he was getting the Idol of Boreas? He's even got the dark hair thing going on.

>>43140257
>Does that mean that King Grover got some mare action when he was getting the Idol of Boreas?
Why do you think Griffinstone is so depressed once they lost it? Equestria is the #1 sex tourism country out there.

>>43140257
>a fetish scene that's horror to 95% of potential readers but you still find it hot
Please, no more Spike.

File: IMG_7193.jpg (1.15 MB, 1170x1772)

1.15 MB JPG

>>43140261
>the idol of boreas was an enchanted item that attracted ponies to the griffons
>griffons used this to trade and extract from ponies
>griffon society collapsed once they lost the idol and the ponies became less inclined to trade with them and tolerate any parasitism from them.

>>43140267
>Spike fetish
Applejack in bride of dicksword be like

>>43140159
Anon the quality of furshitter media is extremely variable.

>>43140110
The problem is that "if you find the right person" is the biggest "if" of all time. I was at university at the peak of Me Too. In my view, woman are extremely dangerous. My odds of even just having a conversation with a good one are slim to none.

Good tips about whores. I'll take it. Fortunately, I'm really good at jerking off. I spent a while in the /h/ threads that make challenges out of it.

>>43140613
Thankfully you'll never reproduce.

>>43140613
>In my view, woman are extremely dangerous
Honestly anyone who doesn't recognize this is a retard who deserves to get MeTooed.
Look at relationships from any sort of objective lens and it's incredibly obvious they're not remotely worth the extreme cost and risk involved.
And what do you even get out of it? If you're lucky you get to watch your kids be mindraped by modern society, your wife will divorce you, turn them into troons, and you won't be able to do shit about it.
>b-b-but what if you find one of the good ones
Loads of men far smarter and more socially adept than myself have thought that and paid dearly for it, I don't have main character syndrome, I know I'm not immune.
>b-b-b-but you need to continue your bloodline to save the white race and stop da joos
I owe my bloodline nothing, I didn't ask to be born, and I'm not going to risk my cozy life to try and save a culture that's intent on killing itself as quickly as possible.

I haven't been able to keep up with the thread or the bookclub (or anything, really) all week, but as I said, this week's anchor will be posted as normal, if maybe slightly late, so don't panic.

>>43140813
If I ever get the chance to reproduce, I'm taking it. My personal strain of autism must proliferate at all costs, and the cycle of trauma must continue.

>>43140613
>>43140813
I mean it in the most honest way possible, but you should really just try talking to people. Whether it's hard or easy, people out there aren't all trying to fuck you over. Making people believe otherwise is perhaps the worst consequence of the internet.

File: 890489.png (2.24 MB, 2906x3000)

2.24 MB PNG

A Twice and Future Darkness, in
>/FSBC/

So. This happened. Well, to be honest, I've got roughly 10 minutes to think through the fics AND write this, so maybe I'll keep it shorter and come back with more well-thought-out opinions later, after reading last bookclub, too. But I think there's some value in the first impressions.
So, of course, there are comparisons to AOaFD. It seems that CiG can't let go of this topic, haunting him more than the dreams are haunting his characters, and this is, overall, a very solid attempt at putting it to (digital) paper. It's not perfect though, and that's infuriating when so many of the perceived flaws are things that, I think, really shouldn't be a problem for someone like him.

Man, I'd really like to read the original version of this. I'm sure that some people are going to complain about the pacing, and while I love the tense atmosphere that he weaves here, I think it could have been more effective with fewer words. Hell, I won't go back to AOaFD in every sentence, but my initial impression is that The Archetypist is less well-realized of the two stories. Again, I love the psychological horr— well, not quite horror, actually, but the unsettling nature of it. But the idea here clearly is to sell that these changes are not definitely good or bad. Or, if not 'sell', then at least plant this thought in the minds of Twilight and the reader, make them question their assumptions. And that is something AOaFD did better. Without the epilogue, the story is too one-sided due to Twilight's perspective narrating it, and the ending cannot be read as anything other than a tragic finale. Even with her giving up on her dream for her friends' "benefit". And with the epilogue, intriguing as it is to ponder it, the story lacks the bite and punch of this fic's "prequel". Which is a shame, and not the end of it.

(Sorry for extra delay; I had to verify email for this session and go through 17 extra layers of captcha)
(1/2)

File: 1269203_small.png (3.36 MB, 2000x2667)

3.36 MB PNG

>>43140843
(2/2)
There are also some rather disappointing flaws. Twilight is lonely and needs a relationship and/or sex. This is a somewhat big plot point in the first few chapters, mirroring her arc from AOaFD. But then that doesn't really get . and we abandon it halfway through. Yes, residual jealously for Starlight's affection remains present, and yes, it is alluded to in the epilogue, but for something built up early, it just doesn't justify itself. Yeah, CiG likes to include sex, and usually you can roll your eyes at this, but here it's just so completely unnecessary that it crosses over to being a mistake. It's also pretty wild to not give the fic [Horror] nor any red tags.
Characters in this are OK by CiG's standards. An annoying thing there is that clearly this was intended as "AOaFD but Discord instead of Luna"... and then neither Luna nor Discord are explored sufficiently. Like, holy shit, CiG, how can you mess that up when this was your entire prompt!? Of the rest of the cast, I do not mind how they act once the dreams get too tangled in reality, but early AJ is just completely off here. This compounds with her farm-burning undermining the ambiguity of the fic, no matter how much CiG tries to work through it with the epilogue and all. And a lot of the fic is like this—good ideas and partially-excellent execution, marred by flaws that shouldn't have made it to the full story when it's the at least the third time he's writing it.

That said, it also can't be understated that it's late-CiG writing about dreams. So yes, the writing is lovely and evocative and captivating; the scenes are tense and gripping, their pacing strong throughout; and the topic of dreams is always so interesting that you can't really go wrong with it. I don't think I can favorite it, even though I'd like to do so, and I'm upset at the story because of it. Aaaaa!
All in all, I'm not sure where I land on it, and I'm already 10 minutes late, so I guess I'll ponder it as I read the posts from last week. [Voting] soon-ish.

>>43140843
>AOaFD
I didn't realize when this was picked that there would be any relation between this fic and that one. All I know is that I read the first chapter last week and found it unappealing. Now, maybe, I have a specific reason (beyond my general dislike of CiG): I am one of AOaFD's relatively few downvotes. I'm not going to rehash that here (see >>41375679, which is me even though it's angrier than I remember being) but it makes the fact that I bounced off this fic even less of a surprise.

File: quilt of lunas.jpg (398 KB, 2160x2160)

398 KB JPG

>>43140843
This fic blows chunks, lol. Thumbs down for not enough Luna. And Applejack was there, too.
I’ll admit it was an engaging read, I did go through the second half of the story quite quickly, but a lot of the motivation was just to see what part of the train would twist and buckle next.
After AJ burns down her farm for no reason, they don’t even mention it to Luna as a reason to be concerned. Not that Luna cares, anyway, she’s already done a 180 offscreen. Applejack is exactly as unforgivable as the epilogue shows, but they don’t even mention that Pinkie dreamed the Cakes right out of existence!

I’m finding this story easy to compare to Lost Cities and obviously AoaFD in the way it tries to springboard off FiM as a setting to tell a story that demolishes FiM as a setting, sabotaging itself in the process. And it didn’t have to be this bad. Like I mentioned last week, the characters could’ve been sharing their dreams and worries, etc. There was no reason for AJ to be obliterated like this. Likewise, Fluttershy is almost as bad. She’s better because Sphinxshy (imagine being indecisive about how to spell that) is at least fun, and Fluttershy is a bad character to start with. Regardless, even canonical assertive Fluttershy shares no character traits with Sphinxshy.

The story isn’t even devoid of ponyness. My favorite scene was the one where Twilight recognized that all of her friends preferred their new, more focused selves, and turned on Discord. Her monologue on friends changing was real. And then she ruins the scene by sewing her eyes shut for no reason. Why not ask Rarity to make her a living blindfold, like the cover art? Well, the scene was already damaged by her offer to *permanently* regress everypony and everything to S1. And Applejack was still there, too.

There were other good things. Trixie was weird, and good. Starlight was mostly good. I can get her identity crisis, going from spurned student prodigy to cult leader to supervillain to friendship student. I mostly liked the coda.

>>43140843
Dummy anon, you could have waited another 40 minutes. DST only happened here, it already happened overseas. You're now early from their POV.

>>43140843
https://www.youtube.com/live/Sbi145cMxDw

>>43140931
>Thumbs down for not enough Luna.
based

>>43140843
Don't have a forward this time so I'll just get right to my chapter comments.

Ch10:
>absolute refusal to discuss dreams
I'm really struggling with this. It's not the good kind of tension, especially dragged out this long. Why hide the dreams? To me that implies they are afraid of telling others what their "true" selves are, and I can't square that with them (at least the mane 6) being friends. Are they not close friends here? Is this a universe where they're only work acquaintances? The dreams are the real story here. Make them hard to understand, but completely shutting us off from them is a mistake. It's the same as a mystery where the MC asspulls a bunch of evidence at the end to solve it.
>Applejack non-argument
You still don't get to consciously decide to have a dream or nightmare. Why is Applejack the one to be Twilight's foil? Applejack's awfully convinced that her dream will never change, either. Or she just doesn't care at this point. For someone whose livelihood revolves around planning ahead she sure is throwing all of that out the window like a CEO with stocks to pump at the end of a quarter.
>Twilight bottles emotions
It'll be fun to finally watch her crash out (post read: I'm mad this didn't happen).

Ch11:
>fanta Starlight
Oh, so this is why she didn't want to touch the flower in the last chapter?
>discussing change
So I guess Twilight's motivation is "change bad," then. Whoever said that this is a fic about Twilight not wanting her ascension last time is probably correct (post read: nope).
>Could a pony turn into a butterfly?
Come on now, don't be so blatant. The bit earlier with "no pony could make that" and her eyes were just the right amount of telling, and you had to go and piss all over that (post read: just crude misdirection).

Ch12:
>Starlight says goodnight
Twilight just needs to dream that Trixie doesn't exist, it's the perfect solution. That or Trixie is Twilight and Twilight is Trixie
>heirophant
Whoever questioned if tarot was heavily involved in the theme of the story last time, the answer is yes, you don't have to reread the story.

Ch13:
>Twilight flies to SAA
I was half-expecting her to fall to the ground wingless after the end of the last chapter.
>charnel
This metaphor sticks out like a sore thumb.
>I wasn't a fast flier back then
Unintentional slip that this narration is coming from the distant future? (post read: nah)
>fire
I'm initially assuming it's arson. Wow, okay, fuck you Applejack (to be precise, fuck you author).
>this was all Discord's doing
Pure cope, Twilight. It's not going to be like that. I'm gonna start skimming now because I just want to see the train crash at the end.

>Ch15:
>Fluttershy
Called it. (post read: would have preferred something wingless but sphinx probably means something)

1/2

>>43140982
Ch16:
>Discord
I would have preferred him to never show up again. Interesting that he has the same issues with change as Twilight, though. I don't understand how they're going to get out of this mess (at least in a satisfactory manner). The elements obviously aren't going to work now, even if they wanted to wake up from this walking dream.
>Rarity
Of course they're still friends after all this. Why? Shouldn't that be the final nail in the coffin for Twilight's misery, if you were going for horror? (post read: turns out the author wasn't intending to write horror or tragedy or dark, which explains the mess that is the tone of the story)
>Pinkie
I can't believe she would kill an entire family like that.
>missing elements
Time for Starlight to be a hero I guess. And Trixie too. (post read: lame, gimmie Applejack failing to be an element the same way she failed to be a friend)

Ch18:
>Twilight gives climatic speech accepting change and them immediately goes back to wanting the old world
All this buildup just for this climax? Twilight decides it's okay to stay dreaming? And I didn't even get a proper crash out. At least there's Fluttershy saying that she's finally no longer scared while being described as scared.

Coda:
>author's note
Coward.
>...our choices were still what defined us
Can I get a reason why Applejack would commit crimes to be free of her "prison," then? Even just a hint. That's the interesting story here (since it's completely opaque to the reader), not Twilight freaking out over changes.

At the end here, something I realized I hated was the fact you can just dream yourself different without any work, and that the text implies that's perfectly fine. There's no struggle, no obstacles in their path to change. What's the point of anything when you can shortcut to being the best at creating fashion, or not being afraid of social interactions, or owning a bakery? It reeks of the standard wish fulfillment fetish porn plot. Just dream yourself happy, Twilight, it's as simple as that.

For all its flaws, I'll probably remember this story better than if it were to have less issues, and at the end of the day that's better than being forgettable. And Trixie being a sapient animated cape and hat is some kino shit.

2/2

File: lamias mentioned in the fic.png (194 KB, 769x817)

194 KB PNG

>>43140951
Isn't it that we've been "late" for the last couple weeks and now we (euros) caught up with the burgers?

>>43122565
>'Unbinding dreams' is super interesting to think about, and honestly something I'd like to see explored in another fic.
Have I got the fic for you!
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/289892/a-once-and-future-darkness
>rubs me wrong
It should, and that's a good thing. Them being 'okay' with it is the [Horror] part more than the changes themselves. I mean, we see it happen to Twi, and the fic does pretty well showing how she internally approaches it. It is the same with the others. This uncertainty /is/ the fic.
>AJ seems to come across as oddly tribalist
Yeah wtf. And you're right that Twi's weirdly too unicorn supremacist here. Actually, this might be a CiG "problem" in general, but he's based and can't let go of unicorn Twilight, which she is here to a far greater degree than she is an alicorn. Which, yeah, is the point and her dreams, but still.
>Not... bad? I guess? But just a bit too far removed from her typical self.
It's crazy how much he always tries to push the boundaries of "in-character" whenever he writes them. Like you say, FS is kind of far, but I can get her, in the context of this fic, at least. AJ, well, not so much—especially after the farm burning. That's too far. I don't think it is AJ.

>>43122610
>loathe dreams as a literary device and find them extremely lazy
Boo! Shame! Boo!
>the amateur quality of the first-person PoV prose
I have genuinely no clue what you mean by that. It is, quite possibly, the least amateur story the bookclub has read in many weeks, and its faults (of which there are several) stem from other things, trying to get fancy being one of them.
>>Ponyville Starbucks
>Fuck that, fuck you, fuck off.
You know, I don't think it's too good to nitpick your play-by-play and argue them a week later (especially when you're clearly upset by the fic and not actually engaging with the story), but this one I'll strongly second. There was no reason to do this, and then making it a recurring location was even worse. It kept taking me out of the fic, too.

>>43122623
>Cheeky reference to "Spideres"
Well, yes, but also CiG presumably feeling clever for subverting expectations, moving the plot forward, AND referencing a classic fandom meme, all in one stroke of the, uh, keyboard?
>>Fluttershy searching for new friend
>Waiting for it to turn out to be a feral version of herself.
I really like this plot point! Yeah, this was the scene where it clicked for me that it's her, but the misdirection with starting this plot thread early was really good, imo. And then the realization and the reveal later also work nicely.
>The voice is grating and clumsy
wtf.

I see I might need to go a little faster. Sorry to everyone whose posts I overlook!

>>43140843
>Trixie dreams herself out of existence, Rarity loses her teats and Luna turns into a giantess
kek. I think if we had gone just 1 more chapter in week 1 the club might've been a bit different. Twilight seems to get some of her act together in it and actually talks about her own dream a bit. And ultimately, I think we are supposed to think all of what we thought in week 1. We are supposed to watch the world spiral out of control with Twilight, seemingly the only one who cares and seemingly the only pony that doesn't have a dream that they wholeheartedly want to come true. Thus she's the one who is the most critical of the changes. And ultimately decides she doesn't want to rip her 5 best friends' (and all of Equestria's) dreams away from them then caves to her own dream by sewing her eyes shut. It also does a good job of building up a lot of tension as we follow twilight through the changes without ever really releasing the tension at any point which contributes a lot to the horror vibes it gives off. Even the final scene is just Twi and AJ going their separate ways.
Anyways, I like the fic as I always have. I think the 2 week split makes week 1 seem pretty rough when it's isolated like that. But week 2 with ponies (the m6) actually talking about the changes directly and at least showing up to try to stop them and with Discord backing down the plot actually shows up again which certainly helps. I think AJ could've had a better dream than becoming free of her family and friends, but idk, even that has its place making everything feel so wrong. I guess when AJ becomes something other than a pony she just turns into an ass.
>guards aren't surprised by 2 soaked mares leaving Luna's room
based
>"Luna was right all along,"
>Flutterape
>Starbucks again
>"You'll do it?" "For you, yes."
Kino, I'm glad they actually got together at some point. And them all doing it for Twilight, just for Twilight to keep it all for them was pretty kino.

>>43140999
>all in one stroke of the, uh, keyboard
That's not the thing that's getting stroked, Anon.

File: luna intro drawing.jpg (141 KB, 1500x840)

141 KB JPG

>>43140845
>Characters in this are OK by CiG's standards.
That's a weird way to average "several important ones absolutely appalling" and "good characterization for characters whose characterization is generally unimportant"
>then neither Luna nor Discord are explored sufficiently
Discord was explored sufficiently, at least.

>>43140982
>post read: just crude misdirection
It wasn't crude misdirection, the initial surface implication that Rarity wanted to be like a butterfly was blended with the actual fact that she wanted to capture butterflies really well. Rarity is definitely one of the good ones here.

>>43140996
>All this buildup just for this climax? Twilight decides it's okay to stay dreaming? And I didn't even get a proper crash out. At least there's Fluttershy saying that she's finally no longer scared while being described as scared.
Hey, that part was good. And Fluttershy is obviously scared of being scared again.

>There's no struggle
This is just wrong. The fic clearly shows that everypony getting their dreams has a high potential to hurt the ponies around them, and that hurting hurts the dreamer back. That is the cost to Twilight, front and center, as she's the perspective character, but several of the non-Applejack characters are shown to see that they're hurting Twilight and their other friends and it affects them. At worst, it does a worse job of conveying the idea from AoaFD that the ponies don't necessarily want to live their dreams and were being twisted into living them.

File: I dont have pictures prep(...).png (2.5 MB, 1600x1800)

2.5 MB PNG

>>43122652
>that's how well the whole thing flows
Yep, that's CiG. He has the 'writing' part of story writing down pretty well. The 'story' part is more contentious, and it depends on how much you can go along with his idea.
>dramatic tension throughout the whole thing that's more at place in a horror fic
Yeah, I think this should be tagged horror. The atmosphere is certainly there already.
>Applejack's interactions left a bad taste
Yep, yep. That's CiG at his... not worst, maybe, but certainly the lower end of the spectrum as far as his characterizations come.
>I think he thinks his scenarios are more impactful than they really are
I think he's trying to see you the feeling of importance and impact. Maybe that's a little pretentious. Also: damn, those are some impressively detailed notes.

>>43122669
>Which is interesting, but not much of a plot.
And then the story is "find Luna", which goes about the same. We're just observing what happens, and this would probably be a very bad fic if CiG was slightly worse than he is.
>It's clearly a problem, but nopony cares.
>everyone else seems happy to accept
Wouldn't you be? They do get their actual dreams realized, and everyone else seems to enjoy it, too. So what if it's unsettling and dangerous? Isn't that a fair price to pay? I think those are the questions the fic is asking Twilight and (You). Twilight has a problem with it because her dream is things not changing and being under her control, which is why the plot happens in the first place. Everyone else, though? They're fine like this, or so they think. You've read AOaFD; you should be familiar with the argument the story is making.

>>43122683
>Cold in Gardez was trying really really hard to be elegant and fancy, and it was tiring to read so much of it.
I suppose it comes down to taste, but this fancy and bullshit always appeals to me and "tiring to read" is just about the opposite of the impression I've had regarding the writing.
>ponies kind of mean to each other! His profile says (...)
Both valid complaints, yeah, and while this isn't him at his worst, it should be a lot better. I don't think CiG likes writing ponies all that much.
>start being nicer and more helpful to each other
Kek, I wish.

>>43122701
>They're always like this.
All The Mortal Remains is perhaps the most "simply good" fic he's written. He doesn't reach his highest highs there, but he also avoids any large errors, and the fic is quite good as a result of that.

>>(gildaposter next post)
>still have the immediate follow up thought 'this shouldn't be happening'
Define "shouldn't".
>AJ in general seems very ooc
Yep, yep.

>>43122721
>Celestia
What? How about, I dunno, the whole THESUNTHESUNTHESUN obsession Twi has here as a secondary problem (though it's partially misdirection from the real problem she had, and that was good).
>complains the whole time too about how everyone elses business is such a big problem for her.
You were this close to getting the fic early!

>>43140845
>Twilight is lonely and needs a relationship and/or sex.
Yeah I kept trying to somehow read this into something about the dreams or the archetypes but really Flutter should've just raped some sense into her early on, also part of Trixie's dream must've been becoming a harem protag which might've been part of Twi's struggles
>but early AJ is just completely off here. This compounds with her farm-burning
yeah agreed

>>43140931
>I’ll admit it was an engaging read, I did go through the second half of the story quite quickly
Yeah, the first week was just Twi sulking around too much. The 2nd half has actualy things starting to happen
>but a lot of the motivation was just to see what part of the train would twist and buckle next.
I think that was the point and honestly that tension might be the fic's strongest point
> And it didn’t have to be this bad. Like I mentioned last week, the characters could’ve been sharing their dreams and worries, etc. There was no reason for AJ to be obliterated like this.
Agreed. If week 1 spent less time with Twi just wandering around and more time without Equestria just immediately 100% accepting this random shit happening it would've been far better. It should've been a gradual process that we got to see. I think the biggest problem the fic has is that no one cares. If they did care at some point it would've been more compelling
>Twilight recognized that all of her friends preferred their new, more focused selves, and turned on Discord
kino
>And then she ruins the scene by sewing her eyes shut for no reason
She was giving into her own dream
Although now that I write that... Was Twilight actually dreaming of that? It feels like she only ever dreamed of the desert and the bright sun. All of the cult stuff is her reading the book Discord shot with the arrow I think? Perhaps Twi could've gotten away with just being kino and wearing a blindfold forever instead of being freaky and sewing her eyes shut
>Why not ask Rarity to make her a living blindfold, like the cover art?
Oh, yeah exactly. That would've been cool

>>43140982
>and I can't square that with them (at least the mane 6) being friends. Are they not close friends here?
Yeah again this idea would've been better if there actually WAS some panic about the changes and more ponies actually opened up and had to ease into accepting the changes. As it is, we follow literally the only pony who didn't immediately hop on board 100% and yeah AJ in particular gets slaughtered by this
>(post read: I'm mad this didn't happen)
I mean she busts up her bathroom and then crashes out when the elements finally get together
>Twilight just needs to dream that Trixie doesn't exist
Trixie did that on her own kek

>>43140843
I realized the main thing I didn't like about this story was how selfish everyone was, and that made them feel mean and out of character. All of the mane 6, not only Applejack, want to stay as their dream selves for selfish reasons even if it's worse for other ponies. Applejack shouldn't hate her family so much and Pinkie would never want the cakes to disappear so she could take over. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Dash all only want to stay because they feel more fulfilled personally. Twilight is really horrible in this story because the whole time everything she does is through the lens of how it can benefit her or how other ponies make her feel personally uncomfortable. The author Cold in Gardez might have done that on purpose but it also seemed like he let it happen too casually and naturally. Ironically Discord showed more care for other ponies which was only at the start when he claimed he was honestly trying to help make dreams more interesting.
The other person was right that Twilight's mental issues were about Celestia and it became really obvious that was the case. It was fine but I wish Celestia actually appeared in the story.

By the way I used the Vinyl flag last week but I switched to Cadence because she's awesome.

>>43141101
>I wish Celestia actually appeared in the story
Same, but I bet she dreamed she was retired lmao.

>>43140996
>It reeks of the standard wish fulfillment fetish porn plot. Just dream yourself happy, Twilight, it's as simple as that.
I think this is one of the most important parts of the fic though. We follow Twilight, the ONLY pony that doesn't do exactly this. At no point in the fic does she explicitly want her dream. Even the sewing, although extreme, seems to be her accepting it. But she never wants a world too bright for her eyes. Also it's surprising Celestia has literally no part in the fic considering Twilight's dreams

>>43140999
>This uncertainty /is/ the fic.
Yup
>And then the realization and the reveal later also work nicely.
kek at Flutter eating the bird right next to Twi
>>43141083
>and this would probably be a very bad fic if CiG was slightly worse than he is.
kek, I can definitely agree with that

>>43141101
>I realized the main thing I didn't like about this story was how selfish everyone was, and that made them feel mean and out of character.
Yeah, if there was any push back to the dreams at all the story would've been very different. I think it could've been more pony with simply more ponies talking to each other, but at the same time the tension and suspense is the best part of the fic so it would've just been a completely different thing
>It was fine but I wish Celestia actually appeared in the story.
kek yeah I would've liked to see her as well. Both to see Twi's interactions with her and to see what she was dreaming

>>43141083
>All The Mortal Remains
>quite good
It's not. It's boring. It's a good idea stretched it out to twice the length it deserved. I groaned the moment that I realized it was going to slowly work its way through the M6, each having one scene with a sentence each of information. Everyone calls this CiG's best fic, but that's really not a compliment. He's a competent writer but a bad storyteller.

>>43140843
>But the idea here clearly is to sell that these changes are not definitely good or bad.
Aren't they bad though? They aren't "friendly" at all and that goes against the ideas of the show. The ending seemed like Cold in Gardez wanted it to be tragic but it was more tragic that the characters were so weird and unfriendly from the start.
>>43140845 >Twilight is lonely and needs a relationship and/or sex.
This was really weird too! I liked how in the ending she finally tried to start being nice to Trixie and stop worrying about herself.
>So yes, the writing is lovely and evocative and captivating; the scenes are tense and gripping, their pacing strong throughout;
I didn't like it very much because it was too pretty for the ugly story he was trying to tell.
>>43140931
>Not that Luna cares, anyway, she’s already done a 180 offscreen.
Yes! Even Luna becomes really closed off and unhelpful for no reason, like Twilight when she destroys a sink and then *keeps lying* to Starlight Glimmer that everything is fine.
>She’s better because Sphinxshy (imagine being indecisive about how to spell that) is at least fun, and Fluttershy is a bad character to start with.
Fluttershy in the show is a sweet and kind pony who isn't the "master" of her animal friends and doesn't eat them.
>>43140982 >Why hide the dreams? To me that implies they are afraid of telling others what their "true" selves are, and I can't square that with them (at least the mane 6) being friends.
That reminds me that Cold in Gardez didn't even bring archetypes up again until the very end and it still didn't make sense :p
>At the end here, something I realized I hated was the fact you can just dream yourself different without any work, and that the text implies that's perfectly fine.
This really goes against the show because the point of friendship is that you can only become better or whatever with the help of other ponies, and now everyone can just do things by themselves and doesn't need to be friendly.

File: 1744159-smol.png (1.71 MB, 1500x824)

1.71 MB PNG

>>43122787
>the story is carried hard by me just really liking the idea of (...)
Well, yeah, it definitely helps a lot if the fic's premise works for you, but I also think part of the appeal is the writing delivering on that premise and being really good at writing the atmosphere.

>>43122787
>probably the weakest character
I'd swap that for 'definitely' but I'm not posting this sentence another time. I was just disappointed a lot by how her arc was handled.
>There's no reason for her, as panicked as she is about this, to not want to bounce ideas around
You're both right and Twilight is acting probably the worst out of them all, but I think CiG was trying to show how the changes happening to the ponies are not something the ponies themselves care about—he just does a subpar job with it.

>>43122847
>a million people have already talked to death about Twilight getting wings being bad
In fact, CiG did this himself more than once before this, too!

>>43123032
>the atmosphere from blending dreams and reality is definitely one of them
This is one of the things the fic just takes wholesale from AOaFD, though. And yes, it's still excellent here, maybe a little better, even, maybe slightly worse, but it's a little lazy for a 5-years-later quasi-rewrite.
>they’re only blind to changes being made to themselves, and quite concerned about changes made to others
I don't think it's really an idiot ball. As far as dream premises go, it's totally fine to go with this, imo.
>characters being too mean to each other doesn’t go far enough
Yeah, actually. This is the thing I'm quickly starting to dislike here a lot more after the initial high of finishing the story has passed. And it's even worse when the prequel didn't need to do this to have this story, so why change it for the worse? This should focus more on ponies realizing their dreams negatively impact their friends and that, in the end, even though they'd get what they want, they could end up in a worse place because of what happened to their friends.
>much rather the tension be built from (...)
Kek, I should've finished reading the post before writing the above.
>I did like the theatrical Luna
It is a shame she has such a minor role here. Like, come on, CiG! You have 50k words to work with and this is where you ended up with Luna? Really?

>>43123757
>It's a slow burn horror-ish thing, perhaps too slow.
Yep. I liked the pacing, but I can see why some people would think it's too slow. I don't think it's poorly paced, however.
>and not capitalize on them in the main story
Absolutely inexcusable, imo.
>Guys do you even into horror?
Yep, this, basically. (I hate saying "+1", but here it was necessary)

>>43141135
>I liked how in the ending she finally tried to start being nice to Trixie and stop worrying about herself.
It's a lot easier liking Trixie when she can't talk back

>>43141076
>several of the non-Applejack characters are shown to see that they're hurting Twilight and their other friends and it affects them
Where?

>>43141123
>At no point in the fic does she explicitly want her dream
She panics at failing the test of staring at the sun (sure, that isn't technically her but what other purpose would that embedded narrative serve other than her dream?) and overcomes her weakness to become a hierophant. She wants to be good enough to look up to Celestia without flinching. Twilight may never explicitly say she wants her dream but her actions say otherwise.

>>43139891
Mine clearly have never been.

File: manesplosion.png (412 KB, 1000x1247)

412 KB PNG

>>43141196
>Where
Rarity is the most obvious: in the conversation where she agrees to help Twilight, she plainly sees Twilight is hurting.
Sphinxshy is also another fairly obvious one: she outright questions whether she's a bad pony for taking what she wants, including erasing the familiar shy pony her friends rely on her being.

File: 1857383.png (823 KB, 800x800)

823 KB PNG

In hindsight, I should've started with responding to this week's post, but alas. I'll do it later, I hope.

>>43140931
>I’ll admit it was an engaging read,
You weren't too high on AOaFD iirc. Would you say this is better? Well, you're also quite vocal in your opinions about shortfics so I'd assume so, but imo this isn't an improvement on that story, which in itself is embarrassing.
>they don’t even mention that Pinkie dreamed the Cakes right out of existence!
Do they know? This implication is left clear to the readers and it's a big part of the "here's how this goes wrong" argument, but in-universe it doesn't appear that anyone connected the dots?
>And it didn’t have to be this bad.
I'd agree with this as well. Almost all of this fic's problems were easily avoidable.
>canonical assertive Fluttershy shares no character traits with Sphinxshy
Yeah, to a degree, but you can easily imagine how FS would get from point A to point B and end up there. This is why I don't mind her, and liked her parts in general. AJ is just kind of all bad.

>>43140982
>I can't square that with them (at least the mane 6) being friends.
Yep, this should've been more of a fic's focus, rather than something that we get reassured about a couple times in the fic. Maybe he'll write it better in 2029 and AOaFD/Archetypist #4.
>I'm mad this didn't happen
But it did?
>just crude misdirection
No. This is, like the implications in FS's earlier parts, a very good way to clue the reader into what's happening ahead of time and make you feel slightly unsettled / question yourself / wonder how Twilight will take the truth.

>>43140996
>All this buildup just for this climax? Twilight decides it's okay to stay dreaming?
The climax was one of the better parts of the fic. The betrayal that's not quite a betrayal, and the sacrifice Twilight makes with full awareness of the consequences. That was really good.
>>author's note
>Coward.
Yep, I agree. Write it or not, but don't do this nonsense.
>and that the text implies that's perfectly fine.
What? It doesn't. It does the opposite of it. To spell it out, the obstacles are that even if you get what you want, other ponies doing the same will completely upend your life and possibly not be worth it. AJ is a good example. She got her dream, but is she better off? What about the Cakes? Or Twilight, whose real dream required permanently paralyzing the lives of everypony else? That's the conflict.
But yes, cape!Trixie was cool, too.

>>43140019
Remember reading this years ago and thinking the whole story was a nothingburger

File: Screenshot_20260329-100830.png (499 KB, 1080x4234)

499 KB PNG

Mid fic, would not read again. This guy is too full of himself, even more than I am.

Two weeks of reading and nothing happened. Nopony did anything. What was even the conflict? Twilight being a stubborn nostalgiafag? With the abandonment of archetypes, everyone just becomes stereotypes.
>Seamstress become spider
Woah!
>Animal lover become animal
Woah!
>Typically wacky character has mundane inner world
Woah! I'm TRULY blown the fuck away, brother.

You can tell he just wanted to go
>Look at this now!
since RD and Ponk got maybe a few paragraphs. He couldn't think of anything cool enough to write about them.
>inb4 the story is actually about accepting change
What change? We get a rehash of the first Starbucks scene to show us how little has actually changed. Equestria is still running fine, business as usual. Twilight still isn't good friends with half the M6, Twilight still gets no dick, Starlight should still shut up. They've taken the long road back to status quo.

He never delivers on half the shit he sets up. Luna was just there for exposition and visuals, we never see Twilight interact with Celestia after going full Solar Zealot, I was promised rape and got perpetually blueballed.

The characterization is also shit. How, on God's green Earth, do you make Discord a boring character? Didn't get you horny enough to do better?

Honestly, this whole thing feels like merely a vehicle for his visuals, he's like the Micheal Bay of FimFic. The only good thing to come from this fic is the fact that I'm riled up enough to go work on my own prose works now, so thanks, I guess.

You guys seemed to enjoy my notes last time, so I'll keep that train going.

File: Screenshot_20260329-100851.png (461 KB, 1080x4092)

461 KB PNG

>>43141261

File: Screenshot_20260329-100912.png (367 KB, 1080x3383)

367 KB PNG

>>43141264

File: Screenshot_20260329-100951.png (666 KB, 1080x5637)

666 KB PNG

>>43141268

>>43141273
Forgot to add: RAAH, I'M ANGRY! ANGRY ABOUT WRITERS!

I'm not reading all these posts; did Rariflag acknowledge the fic's massive flaws or is he being an aesthetics cuck again?

>>43141303
Both.
Funnily enoug I don't think anyone really liked Archie.

madhat886 has been in this fandom since 2012 and been writing this entire time and everything he does is fucking ass.

>>43141325
I remember reading it years ago and being unsatisfied with it.

File: IMG_6587.jpg (47 KB, 640x369)

47 KB JPG

>>43141244
Well I just finished it and I kind of agree. The story is kind of anticlimactic, and doesn’t build and release and resolve tension in a satisfying manner. things more just happen and then dissipate in an unsatisfying manner without much conflict some time later. Though I suppose that that is emblematic of the fact that the story is about an old fart and not some cantankerous, disagreeable, adversarial young man like most hie stories. A disposition that colors how all of the characters act and relate to eachother and how the setting operates.

I think this story is good enough that it I would recommend it for the bookclub. It’s still much better than most hie and is of a good length.

Also Herman is basically pic related.

File: pixie cut mooncat.jpg (1.47 MB, 1500x1500)

1.47 MB JPG

>>43141233
You don't remember correctly, all I said about it was that I liked it but I read it too many years before the club for it to remember much else. I don't intend to read it again, but I didn't downvote it and I did downvote Archetypist.

The dreamblending is probably of the same quality between them, although it's quite different in AoaFD than Archetypist. Luna is better written there, and there is no Applejack so I expect that Archetypist is worse.

>but you can easily imagine how FS would get from point A to point B and end up there.
No, I can easily imagine CiG demolishing her character but there's no path from Fluttershy to her eating her animal friends or basically turning into a cougar on the prowl for succulent mares. Fluttershy is too two-dimensional of a character to stretch that far: Sphinxshy is an OC. As another example of replacing Fluttershy with an OC for the sake of the story, I'll point to TWOLOT.

>>43141662
Unrelated question but tunafag what non-AU fics do you think have the best Luna writing and characterization?

CIG is still the best of us.

File: why is twilight so fat.png (120 KB, 566x674)

120 KB PNG

>>43141864
9DD
Apotheosis
Cuori Intrecciati
Twilight's Plan, sans the typos
Twilight, Good Night (the AU tag here doesn't have anything to do with Luna)

File: 45039.jpg (139 KB, 1125x732)

139 KB JPG

>>43140843
This was a great fic! I think I'll favorite it now

Not exactly what I expected, but I really enjoyed it nonetheless. It's not quite the surrealist dream horror I was expecting at the beginning, but still a tale that's dramatic, evocative, and full of madness. I haven't read the others' reviews yet, I'm expecting you guys to be fuming over the ending the way the comment section to the last chapter was. It's a bold decision that isn't going to please everyone, but it did please me.

I love stories told from the PoV of a character who's going insane or being corrupted (long as it's not mindless misery porn), and this turned out to be one such story. One that turns conventional morality on its head and creates a situation so twisted that passing an ethical judgment becomes all but impossible. All along, we've been following the perspective of Twilight who tries to struggle against the shifting reality around her, getting immersed into the perspective of her friends who have accepted it, all to arrive at an inevitable conclusion. Discord in this fic has unwittingly managed to corrupt and warp the Mane 6 (and perhaps the entire Equestria) beyond repair, defeating himself in the process.

The last chapter (not the epilogue) in particular is basically perfect. It manages a dramatic, emotional climax and the only resolution there can be, with perfectly evocative sentences and great pacing that doesn't linger for too long. And it's super poetic how M6 end up using the Elements on Discord to protect the warped chaotic Equestria he's created and is now trying to bring back. And Discord's stance (and Twilight's for most of the story) is one the reader might hold and hope for, yet it's framed in such an antagonistic light that defies giving you what you want because the characters are just that far gone. And it's perfectly believable, because we've been shown time and again they're that far gone throughout the story.

(cont.)

>>43141973
I suppose there is one thing I can lightly criticize the fic for, and it's the matter of the princesses. Luna is pretty blatantly sidelined here. I personally don't mind (if anything, I like that CiG put only the bare minimum effort into justifying her place in the story and dedicated himself fully to the main conflict). But it's understandable if any Lunafags reading this feel like Luna ought to have a bigger role in the story. But hey, at least she has a couple of really cool scenes, and CiG calls her perfect at one point, so he's tried to cover his bases!

The more important issue is the Sunbutt-shaped elephant in the room. For all the subtext of Twilight's newfound obsession with the sun, it's curious how it never explicitly translates into Celestia, who never even shows up. We know she stopped raising the sun at some point, so something's happened to her, but nothing more. I'm not sure I really consider it a flaw, but a glaring omission nonetheless. Though the fact that, for all her musings about the sun, Twilight never once thinks of her mentor's well-being, works well to establish the warping of her character.

Okay actually now that I think about it, there is a more signfiicant flaw, and it's doing nothing explicit with Twilight's pent-up sexual frustrations that are continuously brought up throughout the fic. They're not completely superfluous, seemingly existing to enhance the uncomfortable feel of her situation, and maybe, upon some more thinking, I might be able to puzzle out how they fit into the subtext, but for now I wish it was a proper plotline (that obviously ends with Twilight banging Fluttersphinx)

(cont.)

>>43141982
Some smaller observations:
>the epilogue seems pretty unnecessary if not tacked-on, it adds very little, maybe just spells things out for some of the slower readers in the audience (tho I guess it does let us know that Twilight somehow isn't truly blind and her sight has perhaps evolved past the material)
>like I said, it's not really horror because, despite the reality-warping nature of the fic's events, it almost never tries to scare you; the only legitimately unsettling moment was Trixie taking off her faces, I wish the fic slipped in more of that
>Fluttersphinx is cute! Would feed her pigeons
>>43141135
>Aren't they bad though?
They're bad from our (and old Twilight and Discord's) perspective, but our perspective no longer matters in this discorded hyper-individualistic world where they're happy with their new warped selves. Like I said, it's the kind of situation that twists conventional morality into a pretzel.

File: IMG_2749.gif (3.64 MB, 288x480)

3.64 MB GIF

>>43141935
Do you think her characterization and writing still hold up minus the

G

A

Y

or do you believe that to be a fundamental and/or true quality of her character and are basing your recommendations off of that position?

>>43140845
>It's also pretty wild to not give the fic [Horror] nor any red tags.
I'd say [Horror] not being there is appropriate, but lack of [Dark] is puzzling. I guess he thought it doesn't fit because, technically, nopony gets seriously physically hurt, and even Twilight's blindness isn't an actual disability.
>>43140996
>At the end here, something I realized I hated was the fact you can just dream yourself different without any work, and that the text implies that's perfectly fine. There's no struggle, no obstacles in their path to change. What's the point of anything when you can shortcut to being the best at creating fashion, or not being afraid of social interactions, or owning a bakery? It reeks of the standard wish fulfillment fetish porn plot. Just dream yourself happy, Twilight, it's as simple as that.
I think some of you guys just hated the fundamental premise of the fic and tuned out at some point. What it gets across is that you can dream yourself whatever you want, but there's a price. You have to be willing to sacrifice yourself and transform into a completely different being, potentially abandoning your previous life altogether. Every major character in the story lets their desires warp and twist them into a different person, and the things that were once cute little dreams effectively consumed their entire personality. This even applies to Discord to an extent, as in his final moments he was absorbed by a desire to bring everything back to the way he was comfortable with.
>>43141021
>And them all doing it for Twilight, just for Twilight to keep it all for them was pretty kino.
Oh yes, that just makes the ending more poetic. Everyone's actions get ricocheted back onto them.

Also, I completely missed "Ponyville Starbucks" during week 1, thought everyone was just making a comparison, then saw it's actually in the story during this week. Wtf CiG

File: twilight and fluffy luna.jpg (185 KB, 1280x828)

185 KB JPG

>>43142015
Yes, and I think your bigotry here exemplifies how retarded you are for seething about lesbian pairings, even more than your general stupidity for seething about them in FiMFiction. You could change Twilight's pronouns in all of the fics to he/him and it wouldn't change anything about the fact that Twilight's character is the ideal one to bring the best Luna that Luna can be. That's one of the reasons they're the best duo.

>>43141882
Most of the writers in this thread aren't as good with words as CiG, but I think at least half of us are better storytellers.

File: 1123481.png (2.23 MB, 1920x1080)

2.23 MB PNG

>>43142102
If prose mattered for shit Patrick Rothfuss and Andrew Hussie would be the pinnacle of writers, and they are not.

>>43142111
Homestuck has good prose?

File: G22VQJDXoAAg8dv.png (457 KB, 1347x1125)

457 KB PNG

>>43142144
Once upon a time Hussie was a good writer. Not good at things like pacing, characterization, or ignoring idiotic whims because he's obsessed with basic baby metatextual takes like "Good stories have to balance character moments with plot progression" or "Readers don't like bad stories", but the man knew how to make the monkey part of your brain satisfied.

So many people wouldn't hate it as much as they did if it wasn't, at one point, really really good.

>>43142066
>Twilight's character is the ideal one to bring the best Luna that Luna can be.
lol. lmao even.

>>43142154
>he's obsessed with basic baby metatextual takes like "Good stories have to balance character moments with plot progression"
I thought Homestuck ceased to have any meaningful plot progression by the late chapters

File: G6IFFB6awAA8eEW.png (301 KB, 680x570)

301 KB PNG

>>43142166
Yes, and late Homestuck isn't a good story.

>>43142164
This is entirely your fault for engaging with the Tunafag in any meaningful way.

>>43142062
>You have to be willing to sacrifice yourself and transform into a completely different being, potentially abandoning your previous life altogether
You know, my dislike of the fic makes a lot more sense when I think about it being basically an ID fic. I'm disappointed I was too slow to clock that for myself, but at least I know it now.

I'm not even clubbing but I feel the need to comment on this guy's ridiculous cock-sucking of CiG:
>>43141083
>this would probably be a very bad fic if CiG was slightly worse than he is.
It sounds to me like it's a very bad fic, then! His posts are full of qualifications about how the characterisation is poor, and the pacing is poor, and the premise of ostensible friends being irrationally unfriendly is a poor choice, but the prose, the /prose/ is so good it makes up for everything! When people are talking about "watching the train twist and buckle", you're taking it for granted that they mean watching the world in the story, but they might well be referring to the fic itself.

Other anons have already made the points that good prose can, in fact, not make up for everything. However, I've read plenty of CiG's other work including AOaFD, and let me tell you that his prose is not even that fantastic! CiG's pretty skilled, sure, especially for horsewords writers in current year, and his big vocabulary is admirable. Unfortunately, he has a lack of self-restraint when it comes to writing, probably the same lack of restraint that comes with an ego stroked by years of being high above a low bar. You can see this most obviously in the way that he'll randomly bring up sex, but it's also evident in how he can't stop himself from using these $20 words or flashy turns of phrase that totally distract from the flow of a sentence. I wouldn't accuse him of abusing a thesaurus, since I'm convinced he genuinely knows what these words mean. The issue is that I can hear him patting himself on the back for applying them as much as he possibly can. Chrysflag
>>43141261
>he's like the Micheal Bay of FimFic
makes a very good point. CiG's writing can be expressive and detailed to the point of tackiness. His readers are dazzled by bold and evocative diction, regardless of whether it fits whatever mundane or trashy subject he's talking about, and it seems like CiG impresses himself, too. Repeat this constantly for a whole story, and you have a song where the entire thing is in forte, or a painting that's nothing but highlights.

CiG also uses a lot of the same technical devices and never tires of them, even within the same story. For example, conspicuously hiding information from the reader only to reveal it a few paragraphs later, introducing new elements causally in dialogue without exposition, or unreliable narrators that are comically blatant. These devices are obviously not bad in themselves, and many readers find them impressive, but when you see the same little trick pulled for the third time in a chapter it starts to chafe.

>>43142219
Something that might bother just me in particular is how his main characters are so often slightly irritable and slightly superior, and oh-so-desperately in need of more sleep or pills or a bath. You see it all the time in pop-culture modern writing, and it always smacks of the upper-middle-class authors projecting themselves clumsily into the work. It's one step above "coffee, amirite?" Honestly, it wouldn't grate on me so much if you couldn't tell by his writing that he's convinced that he's a master author at work, like how Chrysflag said last week that he thinks his scenarios are more impactful than they really are. To tie this back around to prose, the way he writes many of his characters is broadly pretty repetitive, and it becomes more noticeable when you look beyond the immediate scope of a paragraph, where aesthetics rule.

CiG's best work is in his short stories and more fable- or fairy-tale-like fics i.e. the fics that engage with canon the least. I don't know why he bothers writing pony, other than having a larger audience, when he clearly finds it so limiting and does everything in his power to write his way around canon characters. Rariflag says so himself here:
>>43141083
Now, one might respond to everything here by simply saying "Oh, but CiG's making a deliberate aesthetic statement as an /artist/", and to that I would answer that CiG isn't particularly sophisticated as an artist. Chrysflag and Gildaflag are right to be critical.

>>43142154
>Hussie was a good writer
Not really, no. He was just very good at tricking people into thinking that, because if you lay down 1000 different 'plot hooks' and then fire off 100 of them they'll think you're masterfully crafting an intricate narrative when actually you're just tossing out bullshit nonstop and then tugging of what works of it and by the end you'll never manage to actually address everything. And early Homestuck really suffers from being a wasteland of nothing happening that just pokes your lizard brain with the cool capstone animations but if you actually think critically about it the schizophrenic bouncing around for the sake of 'setup' that has a minuscule payoff is a terrible way to write anything. It wastes hours of your time with the vague promise that everything will be worth it eventually. He's a lot better at shorter stories (see the first intermission if taken in isolation) but those make the random bullshit nature of his writing even more apparent. Problem Sleuth will forever remain his best work and it's not that good.

>>43142219
I'm not even clubbing but I feel the need to tell you to choke on your nearest doorknob.

>>43141973
based fic enjoyer
>>43141982
>but for now I wish it was a proper plotline (that obviously ends with Twilight banging Fluttersphinx)
agreed
>>43142001
>the only legitimately unsettling moment was Trixie taking off her faces
Surely you meant Twilight casually sewing her eyes shut

>>43142219
>You can see this most obviously in the way that he'll randomly bring up sex,
Sex is just another part of life, dude. Only Americans have a problem with it being brought up because of their deep-rooted puritannical inclinations.
>>43142219
>the Micheal Bay of FimFic
Surely there are horsewords writers more worthy of that dishonorable title.

>>43142239
>everything will be worth it eventually
And it was not lmao

>>43142253
>rent-free
But also, there's never even any sex in the story, so it's constant referencing only detracts from the reading experience.

>>43142299
>there's never even any sex in the story
Pretty sure there's sloppy feral lesbian sex between either Twilight and Rainbow or Fluttershy and someone, speedreader-kun.

>>43142299
>you can't reference one of the most base animal compulsions in a story that's all about becoming entrapped and altered by your inner wants
Genuinely stop repressing yourself just because your parents mentally abused you. Grow up.

>>43142460
>sloppy feral lesbian sex
Show me and I'll tribute

>>43142253
CiG turns a completely normal part of life into Chekhov's Blueballs. He makes you expect a climactic explosion where he sprays delicious, hot words all over your face. Instead you get smacked by a soggy breadstick from Olive Garden.

>thread full of anons who've never written anything worthwhile seething at the guy who made Lost Cities
The secondhand embarrassment is unreal. He's more talented in his sleep than you'll ever be awake. Cope, seethe, and dilate.

File: shoecrown.png (1.07 MB, 1280x1187)

1.07 MB PNG

>>43142493
>“You’re thinking too much, egghead. Stop.” Dash pressed forward, and their lips touched.

>That was true. Confused thoughts tumbled through Twilight’s brain, melting in the heat. Rainbow Dash’s body was like a furnace, hotter even than the heavy summer air. Another kiss came, longer, and then Dash’s lips found her cheeks and chin and neck, each gentle caress followed by the sharp touch of her teeth.

>Twilight Sparkle was not a foal – she knew about love and romance and sex. She was a sexual creature, as all ponies were, and though she had never been in an intimate relationship, she knew what they were about.

>Still, she was pretty sure this wasn’t how they started. Ponies didn’t just indulge their carnal fantasies out of nowhere. That thought niggled at the back of her mind even as she gave in to instinct, and her lips found Rainbow Dash’s skin. It tasted like sweat and rainstorms, and the pegasus let out a long, shuddering breath.

>“Yes, like that,” Rainbow Dash exhaled. Her breath tickled Twilight’s ears. “Harder.”

>Okay, harder. Her teeth nipped at Dash’s neck gently. The muscles beneath her skin flexed in response. Dash’s wings flapped weakly, batting at Twilight’s shoulders. It only drove her further.

>She could get used to this. She bit again.

>“Yes!” Dash screamed. “Yes! Do it, Twilight!”

>She could do it. Twilight pushed Rainbow Dash onto her back and straddled her. She bit again, just above Dash’s collarbone, and something hot and coppery flooded her mouth. The pegasus howled.

>Everything was hot. Dash’s body, the taste of metal, the summer air. It cocooned her, burning away reason, leaving only sensation. Only the wild, grunting animal. She opened her mouth wide and closed her teeth on Dash’s neck. A spray of blood painted her face.

>“Yes,” Rainbow Dash somehow spoke despite her ravaged throat. She stroked Twilight’s mane with a gentle hoof. “Don’t stop. You're not done yet.”

>Twilight didn’t hear her – it wouldn’t have mattered if she did. All that mattered was Dash’s body beneath her. It held something precious, something that fluttered and beat and ran but could never escape. She bit again, savaging her friend, until with a final, wet roar she rent the pegasus’s slender chest apart, and there it was. Beating, showering her with blood. She lowered her teeth to Dash’s heart and—

>>43142590
Wait that’s that these people are arguing about? I didn’t read their posts lol. Lost cities is one of the most solid fics on the site.

>>43142590
Hope he sees this, bro

File: If you know you know.gif (842 KB, 888x522)

842 KB GIF

What fics do you think give off the same vibe as this song?

https://youtu.be/hWNKIGIBffc

>>43142612
To be fair they're arguing about The Archetypist, which while by the same author is a story in a weird fucking spot where it's exactly the perfectly wrong length for what it's trying to tell, so half of the stuff in it works great and the other half fails horribly. I think Cold struggles with truly long stories. It's not surprising one of his most acclaimed works is an anthology.

>>43142683
I mean which author out there is good at long fics? Even the most praised longfics on the site are usually part of some unfinished series, usually.

>>43142723
The guy who wrote RaF

>>43142590
I'm glad you know my work so well that you can recognize my writing style on an anonymous imageboard. I must have made quite the impression on you.

File: watercolor luna looks.jpg (3.71 MB, 2208x3724)

3.71 MB JPG

>>43142723
Luna-Tic Scientist, Dromicosuchus, iisaw, The Hat Man, Mitch H, PaulAsaran, Phoenix_Dragon, Daetrin, Skywriter, and Monochromatic.
>the most praised longfics on the site
Just by numbers, this is pretty much exclusively caused by having a frequent update schedule and as a very weak relationship with story quality.

>>43142753
You forgot about me

>>43140843
I just can't get a more thorough post written up for some reason so I'll largely just ramble/reply.

Re-reading this really made the tribalism stick out for me. I hate it. A lot. I never really like when fics try and say the girls aren't really all that close, but the bit about Twilight never really being super close to AJ in comparison to Rarity and Starlight (fuck all the way off CiG) just irritated the piss out of me. I mentioned Estee before and the whole bit with Twi/Star visiting the farm after the fire cements my feelings on that. Straight up saying that not only Twi isn't /that/ friendly with AJ, alongside the implication that she gets on better with unicorns? Repugnant, just like the reverse with AJ in Triptych (long).
>>43140931
>Trixie was weird, and good. Starlight was mostly good.
Agreed, especially with Trixie.
>>43140999
>AOaFD
Hah, I've read that before. I should probably re-read it and see if I'll leave a like this time.
>>43141138
>>Guys do you even into horror?
>Yep, this, basically.
Can not agree. As a reader I find it horrifying, but Twilight, as our POV character, constantly has her should-be understandable reactions treated with a negative slant, or come from a negative feeling. Why do we need to learn of Twilight's unicorn supremacy when witnessing Trixie/AJ for the first time? This is a batshit change but I'm more focusing in how awful Twilight's thoughts are. In the comments CiG outright says he disagrees with the story needing a [Horror]/[Tragedy] tag, and that the story's biggest focus is the question of how our dreams really reflect us as people.
His characterization choices make this impossible because the changes are so extreme, and our POV character is either shown to be viciously resistant to change (and this is shown as inconsiderate multiple times)/addicted to keeping the status quo or outright letting her own prejudices fuel her reactions. It's an introspective story that fails because it didn't do right by the characters in any metric, nor is it a horror because even with the Coda acknowledging dangerous/bad dreams we're supposed to see some of the good in the situation because the story wants to ask a question.

What's the next book club fic?

File: fluttershy smirk.png (55 KB, 708x633)

55 KB PNG

>>43143185
Isn't one.

>>43143185
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/500819/

>>43143013
This got brought up back when the Secreter Club read it. It's likely there is something wrong with CiG on a psychological level.
Not to say that he's crazy, but he may have some lingering trauma from his time in the army. That's why he focuses so much on dreams and what meaning they may have. I have not read all of his fics, so I can't talk about how prevalent that theme may be, but Darkness and Archie form an interesting window into his mind.
Also, apropos of nothing, CiG deleted his blogpost teasing the Archetypist saying it was the best thing he had ever written.
lol

>>43143194
what do you consider the best thing you've ever written, /fimfic/?

>>43143200
A greentext, it's the only work I dared publish yet and it receives positive replies when I update it so it makes me happy

File: Screenshot 2026-03-29 9.0(...).png (391 KB, 607x536)

391 KB PNG

>>43143200
Chapter 3 of my Twipie fic.

>>43143200
I'm unreasonably proud of trolling the incest thread:
>>42147167
>>42147170

>>43143200
I'unno. K'awka, probably.
I hope the sequel will be enjoyable too, even if I'm taking it in a different direction.

Are we planning to do another exquisite corpse this year?

>>43143200
I'm pretty happy with my Tempest Shadow anthology, but also some of my really short works. My stuff with Queen Chrysalis and Eris is fun, but I still need to finish my works with the latter. I don't know, I feel the need to write longer and more substantial stories now, which I'm slowly doing.

>>43143337
The Anthology was a bust, so I'd be down for another corpse.

>>43143235
Why is Twi selling fish?

File: Screenshot 2026-03-29 9.0(...).png (400 KB, 607x536)

400 KB PNG

>>43143380
Your guess is as good as mine.

>>43143380
Gotta fill Equestria's coffers somehow.

>>43143257
Why did I immediately clock the Quechua
Why did you use Quechua for your title

>>43143385
This is adventure kino tho, maybe they're from the same universe. Waterquestria or sumshit

>>43143417
They're from the same theme, you can put them together and they both move. China got a whole line of Horse Lego that's actually fairly good. But then China is always getting good merch. Who knows if they're getting good fanfic.

>>43143417
>My friends and I have to find the 13 Treasure of Equestria.

>>43143412
Do you like bread?
The short answer is that I'm Peruvian and I spoke a teensy bit of Quechua when I was little. I like it, and I wanted to include it in some way to make the fic sound exotic.

>tfw you end up cutting the very scene of the fetish fic you wrote that first inspired you to write the story to begin with because it no longer fits

>>43143200
Whatever I'm currently writing. If we're talking finished, it's a toss up between Statistics, which I'll always adore for its uniqueness, and S.S. Gale Clipper, which I like the plot of more, even if it's more of a "standard" plot.

>>43143337
>do another exquisite corpse this year?
I'm gonna bow out this year. Want to focus entirely on all the unfinished fics I have sitting around.

>>43143235
Do ponies eat fish?

File: Reef.jpg (1.68 MB, 1684x2120)

1.68 MB JPG

>>43143200
Cypress Zero, used to be it for me, but now it's Reef: big sci-fi adventure versus small fantasy tragedy. Reef's among the prettiest words of mine I repeatedly enjoy. As much as I love vast worldbuilding, keeping it subtle in a smaller, more fantasy setting, is just how I find it best to write ponies.
>>43143228
Based
>>43143337
>Are we planning to do another exquisite corpse this year?
As much as I want to make up for my bullshit with the conspiracy anthology, I'm going full-time into farrier business. Would like to see one happen, though.
>>43143498
I say yes, but mostly for regional diets. Preferably pegasi.

>>43142239
Ah, the Steven Moffat method. I miss Doctor Who.

>>43143547
Moffat could at least hold down a coherent story for an episode or maybe two, in spurts.

>>43143200
The best thing I ever wrote is one of those stories that really only makes sense to me and is filled with oblique references to my personal life.

Great, my general died because some faggot started sliding.

>>43143200
Some non mlp related ideas I have had and written as disconnected blurbs.

>>43143538
Oh you’re the author of that? I didn’t know you posted here. I have that fic in my favorites bookshelf.

File: Meanwhile in Canterlot.gif (1.65 MB, 800x800)

1.65 MB GIF

>>43141021
>Rarity loses her teats
Right, that was also a thing. Seeing this first thing in the day is a good comment on The Archetypist as a whole.
>seemingly the only pony that doesn't have a dream that they wholeheartedly want to come true
The Sun one? I maintain that's a misdirection. It is her dream, too, but the "joke" is that she *is* actively pursuing her true dream all fic—setting everything back to how it was and locking everything under her control. I've mentioned this a few times, but I'm pretty sure that's what's happening and people wildly overestimate the importance of the sun cultist fable. CiG fucking loves hiding the "true plot" in plain sight like this, see also Ponk vanishing the Cakes (which most readers also seem to have COMPLETELY missed). The ending we get is Twi sacrificing her dream's complete fulfillment for her friends' sakes.
>(next Twipost but I'm hitting the 5-reply limit)
>part of Trixie's dream must've been becoming a harem protag
Oh right, that thing! Yeah, CiG also goes there for some reason and no payoff, either. It's so bizarre.
>Although now that I write that... Was Twilight actually dreaming of that?
Oh hey, you also got there! Nice.

>>43141076
>That's a weird way to average
Yeah, I'm more OK with this FS than you are, so for me it does average out to 'OK'.
>It wasn't crude misdirection
>that part was good
>This is just wrong
Yep, yep. This fic does have some really good parts, which only makes its flaws more frustrating. I'm 99% sure I said more or less this exact sentence yesterday, too, but frustration at all the 'might have been' spots is the main thing I'm taking away from this after the very pretty atmospheric writing.

>>43141101
>he let it happen too casually and naturally
This is another common problem with CiG. I don't know if he's incapable or simply unwilling, but his fics are almost always showing a much more uncaring, selfish characters than anything resembling canon. It gets really bad in some of his fics. You also mention this in your next post, and yes, you are completely right. I may have gotten a little desensitized to it as "just a CiG thing".

>>43141261
>This guy is too full of himself
He is. That's both his strength and problem. The kind of pretentiousness that stems from it is interesting to read and unpack (at least for me), but I acknowledge isn't not a very universal taste.
>What was even the conflict?
How realizing everyone's dreams makes people around you worse off, and if it's a tradeoff that ends up with everyone being better off or worse. And on a personal level, yes, it's about Twi grasping with nostalgiafaggotry. If you want to be mean, it could be CiG speaking through her. He manifests quite a bit of persistent character through various MCs of his fics.
>Ponk got maybe a few paragraphs
I really like how Ponk's terrifying dream gets swept under the rug in-universe.
>never delivers on half the shit he sets up
Some of it, yes, other things are red herrings.

File: TwilightSparkle_huh_looki(...).png (12 KB, 389x435)

12 KB PNG

>>43141303
I did, yes. I am who I am so of course I got dazzled by the atmosphere and aesthetics here, but yes, this is a very flawed story. Somehow MORE flawed than his previous attempt to do the same prompt 5 years earlier.

>>43141973
Oh hey, another anon liking it! Good! I was disappointed that I couldn't make myself like it, so it's nice that it worked better for at least a few people.
>I'm expecting you guys to be fuming over the ending
Say what you will about /fimfic/, but anons aren't quite that bad. There is a lot one can justifiably hate about this story, but desu, hating specifically the ending is a "failed the reading comprehension test"-tier opinion. It's good, really good, even.
>passing an ethical judgment becomes all but impossible
Only if you're weak. First of all, you can approach it with the classic assumption that an objective morality exists, in which case this is easy to solve. But of course that's not what CiG intended. Even then, you can still pass judgement from the perspective of each characters and what they knew and were believing at any given point in the story. Was Twilight right in the finale? I would say no, and she should know that her final sacrifice is misguided. She knows that Discord remained unchanged, so she SHOULD have trusted his judgement over hers. Not doing that was wrong of her.
But of course that would've made for a worse story, so the fic goes with the obvious "tragic" resolution that it was building towards. But yes, I think this whole conflict in general is written very nicely.

>>43141982
>Sunbutt-shaped elephant in the room
I really don't think so. It'd be nice to see her, but she's not really important. Just like the sun cult never met Celestia, Twilight's obsession is completely one-sided. Celestia can exist or not, she could reproach Twilight or forbid her, but it wouldn't have changed a thing. Twi is obsessed with Celestia's impact on her life, her presence, not the actual pony.
>doing nothing explicit with Twilight's pent-up sexual frustrations
Yeah, it's particularly bad here. Also the Trixie harem as was mentioned earlier. It doesn't really have anything to add; it's a CiG thing.

File: pbbt.gif (334 KB, 535x796)

334 KB GIF

>>43142219
>ridiculous cock-sucking of CiG
Anon I don't even like this fic all that much. I enjoyed reading it because it's pretty and ambitious in spots, but I ended up not even leaving an updoot, and my bar for that is quite low.
>full of qualifications about (...)
Yeah, that's called having a slightly more nuanced opinion. I liked reading it. There are some really good things about it. But there are also glaring flaws that I tried to honestly point out. Like, yeah, the prose here is building a very immersive, tense atmosphere, and that can make a story with many flaws worth reading [for me]. I will also readily admit that I enjoy his pretentiousness. You can argue if it's good writing or a wide assortment of tricks employed to make the fic read "better than it is", but it works. You can also decide this prose is too "much" for you and that you hate how tacky or fake or whatever it is. You'd not be wrong to do so. But I also won't claim to dislike it just for /fimfic/ updoot points.
>You can see this most obviously in the way that he'll randomly bring up sex
And yes, I also complained about that, in addition to some other recurring problems with CiG. It doesn't immediately make the fics where he does this very bad.

>>43142226
>how his main characters are so often slightly irritable and slightly superior
You're also right about that! I cut this semi-rant from an earlier post, but the more CiG you read, the harder it gets to shake off the sneaking suspicion that he's projecting himself onto the characters more than what is acceptable. It's most often Twi, but the others, too. I sometimes get the same feeling from his writing as you do, but even if you don't think this writing is good, it is, once again, interesting to read [to me]. His technical writing is good enough to sell all of that semi-pretentious nonsense in a way that I like engaging with. But that is also exactly why I kept on guard when talking about the fic, to not let him get away with too much just because I'm dazed by pretty words and clever construction.

>>43143013
>Twilight never really being super close to AJ in comparison to Rarity and Starlight
It's fine to point out that some of them are closer than others, but the "that mudpony is barely my friend" bit was bad, yes. At least AJ still somehow showed up for the finale, so maybe CiG was just bad at expressing what he meant there?
>introspective story that fails because it didn't do right by the characters in any metric
It's not as much about the characters as the idea that CiG had. Like you say, it tries to ask a question, and it does it by showing actions of (debatably in-character) ponies faced with this unusual situation. The horror, for me, is precisely that it's NOT strictly and obviously a bad thing; the horror is that ponies COULD want this, at least in certain circumstances. I also don't think the fic fully succeeds in asking the question like it wanted to, but that's a separate thing.

File: TwilightSparkle_PinkiePie(...).jpg (528 KB, 1407x1000)

528 KB JPG

>>43140843
>>43143185
[VOTING]
Of course I forgot all about it, so here I'm throwing in the last couple suggestions we got:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/478767/kaidan
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/301077/broken-symmetry
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/1451/the-monster-mash
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/330387/spikes-dragon-code-for-cuddling
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/62270/lunas-librarian-twilights-moon

>>43143547
We need a Moffat 2 to cleanse the disaster of RTD2.

>>43143194
He did have a blog before(? around?) the time he published the Archetypist talking about his relation with dreams and his struggle to reconcile the things he dreams enjoying with his morals and which one is his real self. Personally I think it's a skill issue. If you're incapable of jerking off to rape and torture in fiction while also condemning those things in reality you simply have a weak brain and an improper perception of the world.

>>43143200
Probably my last tragic yurifag story. It may not be perfect, but I'm mostly satisfied with how it went and that it managed to do the things I wanted it to do. But I look back fondly to my fic about a big hole in the ground, too, even though I don't plan on doing anything like that again.

>>43143337
If there is enough collective /fimfic/ will to do something, I'll contribute almost regardless of what it is.

>>43144117
I vote for anything without yuri

I just think it's funny Everypony's mind got altered without their consent and we must agree this was a good thing.

>>43144121
>If you're incapable of jerking off to rape and torture in fiction while also condemning those things in reality you simply have a weak brain and an improper perception of the world.
Am I reading this right? I think you're being hyperbolic. But taken literally, you're claiming that people who cannot jerk off to rape and torture have a weak brain. That's the sort of thing I'd expect to find in the private DMs of Tumblr feminists.

>>43144117
Cuddling.
Kaidan is great, but I'd love to read it closer to spookier times.

File: IMG_2913.jpg (21 KB, 583x526)

21 KB JPG

>>43144121
>If you're incapable of jerking off to rape and torture in fiction while also condemning those things in reality you simply have a weak brain and an improper perception of the world.
I think I get the point you are attempting to make but also jorking your schlork to that kind of stuff still isn’t good.

File: IMG_0834.jpg (42 KB, 600x600)

42 KB JPG

>>43144117
I guess I’ll vote for cuddling.

Also
>broken symmetry
>narcotics tag
Can anyone name a single fic with this tag that is worth reading?

>>43144189
One day, I'll write about a pony dealing with a salt addiction, and it'll be worth it.

>>43144224
Twilight eats a lot of salted fast food for a reason.
Not only is it addicting but it makes her arse fatter too.
I expect this is probably a clopfic of some kind.

>>43144117
Seconding Kaidan for spooky times, but I'm not sure about reading a Spike fic.
Though it's kind of funny going from a fic that ignored him altogether, to one focused on him.

>>43144093
>Only if you're weak. First of all, you can approach it with the classic assumption that an objective morality exists, in which case this is easy to solve.
Perhaps I should say "passing an ethical judgement while maintaining integrity". Objective morality is inflexible, so it easily falls into the trap of worshipping a theoretical principle at the expense of someone's suffering in practice (say, if you revert everything back and ignore all the suffering that would cause). However, on the other hand, if you don't revert anything back as Twilight chooses, then you have to make peace with the ponies' previous identities being effectively dead. Either choice requires a degree of compromise and hypocrisy.
>She knows that Discord remained unchanged, so she SHOULD have trusted his judgement over hers.
Two problems with that:
>Twilight doesn't know if the elements will work if the bearers' heart isn't in it
>Discord is clearly being desperate and contradicting his previous statement about not being able to fix reality, which, aside from making him less trustworthy on its own, carries a potential danger of reality becoming even more warped if he attempts any more reckless meddling
>>43144078
>The Sun one? I maintain that's a misdirection.
I don't think it's just a red herring. All the transformations in the fic are subtler variations of ponies being discorded, their true essence warped in some way. For Twilight, like you said, her admiration of Celestia the pony transforms into an obsession with Sun the space object.
>Ponk vanishing the Cakes
Didn't first half mention that they were having another baby and left? I don't think Pinkie did anything.
>>43144117
I vote for either of the horror anthologies. Monster Mash seems to prioritize quality over quantity, so I'd be leaning towards that one, but for now it seems Kaidan is the only way we'll be able to clutch out a W here

File: old war luna dodges explosion.jpg (3.8 MB, 2560x2560)

3.8 MB JPG

>>43144252
>Didn't first half mention that they were having another baby
Yes
>and left?
No

File: IMG_5378.png (439 KB, 1889x1070)

439 KB PNG

Whenever I’ve read HIE fics it’s always felt like a type or multiple types of archetypal story was trying to emerge but it was always bogged down and diverted from that due to the narrow interests of the authors and readers wanting to utilize it for certain self insert wish fulfillment fantasies and trying to write a certain plot instead of actually actualizing the archetype. I can see the outlines of it but I’m not schizo enough to disambiguate it fully.
>inb4 you’re just trying to justify consuming slop haha hie enjoying plebeian kys

>>43144289
It only really works when it's a pre-existing guy who isn't trying to fuck a horse. Sun and the Rose even had a major part of the conflict revolve around the English knight who, tragically, does not want to fuck a horse.

>>43144289
The HIE genre is not for the faint of heart. It’s not just about sending humans into the world of Equestria; it’s about transcending the boundaries of fiction itself. Just as you wouldn't expect to stumble upon a Shakespearean play in a high school drama class, or find the nuances of a Tolstoy novel in a community book club, you simply cannot expect mere /fimfic/ posters to grasp and master the profound depths and soul-stirring complexities of the HIE genre. It's the apex of storytelling. Too intricate, too delicate, too soulful for most to comprehend, let alone capture in writing. The problem isn’t with the genre. The issue lies in its towering grandeur, which is just too monumental for the average writer. We don't lack good HIE stories; we lack the literary giants to pen them.

>>43144295
You only say that because a pre-existing guy is usually an actual interesting character rather than a generic self-insert.

>>43144301
Yes, I usually only am interested in things because they're interesting.

>>43144117
Dykeshit is a no-go obviously, Kaidan doesn't appeal to me
Monster Mash has the better premise, but I'm not sure if I'm feeling 2011jank
Dragon Code For Cuddling looks funny, but no way it's 57k words funny
Decisions, decisions...
I'll go with Monster Mash, a lighthearted anthology never hurt anyone

>>43144307
>Kaidan doesn't appeal to me
May I ask why?

>>43144237
Huh, that actually might've been interesting. Would he have been unaffected because the archetypes existed because of the biological properties of ponies being communal, diurnal herbivores etc? Or would he have been affected because he was born and raised as a pony among pony society and culture and thus would've had the same archetypes?

>>43144144
You're reading it wrong. The inability to both enjoy a fetish in fiction and separate it from reality is what denotes weakness. Merely not being aroused by torture to begin with just means you have bad taste.
>>43144182
You're literally the person I'm addressing with the post. You believe that the sexual consumption of fiction inevitably leads to a corruption of the spirit and in doing so you prove that you yourself are or at least believe yourself incapable of not suffering from that weakness.

>>43144001
Aw, sweet. Thanks for reading, anon.

>>43144311
[Death] [Profanity] [Horror] [Thriller] stories don't really catch my attention, especially when played straight. I can enjoy some psychological horror or adventures where a character dies but the tags as they are just make me think of Friday the 13th and I'm not exactly itching to devour paragraphs of that

File: luna gaze.webm (262 KB, 896x984)

262 KB WEBM

>>43144318
>downing a shot of Everclear and bragging about how it doesn't hurt energy
That's not strength. Training yourself to no longer enjoy hurting yourself would be strength.

>>43144313
I think the Coda mentions a gryphon. No idea if it's a regular one, or a pony who turned into one.
It's kind of hilarious that Spike never gets brought up and Twilight doesn't seem to give a fuck about her lil' bro. I remember carcinoGeneticist getting really pissed off about it, but what are you gonna do.
Personally, I want to believe he realised what was coming and simply dreamed himself out of the story.

>>43144391
>Personally, I want to believe he realised what was coming and simply dreamed himself out of the story.
actual CHIM moment kek

File: 3456770.jpg (802 KB, 2048x2048)

802 KB JPG

>>43144391
Authors and forgetting Spike exists goes together like peanut butter and jelly.

>>43144332
If it's any consolation, it's not really what the story is about. It's each of the M6 & company telling horror stories to each other, and it's those stories that contain those themes. I cannot remember the use of profanity, so it's possible Dash's story had lots of F-bombs, but I'd be lying if I made any statement about it. It's been a while since I read it.
Nonetheless, I don't blame you for not wanting to read it, I just want to make sure you get a better idea of what the story really is about.

File: come marevar, friend or t(...).jpg (99 KB, 798x1024)

99 KB JPG

>>43144396
That's ZERO SUMMING you fucking CASUAL. CHIM is having enough individuality and ego to realize you're merely a subset of Anu the godhead but also having enough ego to specifically survive it.

>>43144398
Reminds me of how in Heart of an Author, Fluttershy writes a mystery novel for Twilight to read, and early on Twilight notices Spike is missing, and Fluttershy is startled and says she forgot Spike existed.
Odd for the animal lover to forget about that, but it was hilarious, so I let it slide.
Also, fuck Heart of an Author.

>>43144413
That one feels particularly egregious since Fluttershy's very first scene is her coming out of her shell to coo at Spike, and later on tries to kidnap several baby dragons.

>>43144401
>Anu the godhead
Typical of the Sharmat to confuse shadow and substance.

>>43144370
>reading comprehension

File: ponyville serves a noble (...).jpg (119 KB, 784x1024)

119 KB JPG

>>43144441
Excuse you, plebian! As Seht himself put forth, it has always only been Anu. To quote:
>Our lessers know the Source as two forms: Anu and Padomay, but this binary is without merit. One of the Lorkhan's Great Lies, meant to sunder us from the truth of Anuic unity. Our father, Sotha Sil, would have us know the truth: there is no Padomay. Padomay is the absence of value. The lack. A ghost that vanishes at first light. A Nothing. There is only Anu, sundered and known by many names, possessing many faces. The one.

>When Anu broke itself, it did so to understand its nature. In its sundering, the values that swam in its vastness thought to know themselves. The et'Ada Gears gave themselves many names and set their will to building

>>43144415
To be fair, there were reasons for that.
I did not like those reasons.