Come one and all to the meta-writefag and help raise the quality of MLP fanfiction! Featuring: E-rated clop!ITT: The fucking Emacs web browser, preparing excuses for why your entry didn't place, not wanting the site to seem completely degenerate, I’m sure some would call it good and enjoyable fluff, yuriniggers aren't even 3/5ths of a person, a story so good and so compelling that you needed, really needed, to write an unauthorized sequel, applying every tidbit of knowledge to horsewords, the Reading Rainbow of the genre, manly stallions, fetish stuff doesn't actually diminish the literary value of a story per se, Mary Shelly's Frankenhole, the inherent eroticism of a land based tax system, Flash Sentry having a sex life, legendarily and embarrassingly unsloppy, none of you are making it to Equestria, going straight to the top of the feature box, >the, mare is a gender, the retarded faggot who read a 400 thousand word heap of slop, not aroused by drilling holes into skulls, and /lit/ shit like Hegel!>/fimfic/ Secret Book ClubThe one hundred and seventy-second book is Kaidan:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/478767/kaidanIf (You) want to participate, read through chapter 8, "8th Candle", by Sunday, April 19th.>Recommended stories:Tired of adventures that meander for a million words? Fed up with super special OCs? Well, we've compiled the best of the worst in order to bring you our absolute average!New Starter Kit - http://mlpficreviews.org.uk/starter/Old Starter Kit - http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png>Common fic abbreviations used by the thread:https://ponepaste.org/7317>A list of reviews made by the Anons in this thread:http://www.mlpficreviews.org.ukUse the commands ">review <story link>" and ">discuss <story link>" to add reviews to a story.Userscript for extra features: https://ponepaste.org/8619>An in-depth writing guide for beginners:https://eznguide.neocities.org/>Additional material for authors:Rhorse's Horse Behavioral Notes - https://ponepaste.org/932Politics and the English Language - https://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit/Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop - https://poneb.in/g4VpEg4fPurdue Online Writing resources: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/index.html and https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/creative_writing/writers/index.html>Can you pre-read my story?Post it on Google Docs or HackMD with comments enabled and give us a link.>Various reviews and riffs:Fillyanon's Bookshelf - https://ponepaste.org/5555Notkickass222urmom's Reviews - https://pastebin.com/u/notkickass222urmomIHeartShinzakura's Reviews - https://ponepaste.org/user/IHeartShinzakuraAppleanon reads fics - https://poneb.in/wmGX7FPmDeluxe Big Master Review List - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1z9Bz7UnEbxo-svlXa2tV49PJkP-yFuR7pRXiBUn-IeUA Guide to Rational Fics - https://files.catbox.moe/3jzrfm.pngPrevious Thread: >>43156106
So are we going to do another corpse this year? When do we start?
>>43184964Didn't the last collab fail spectacularly?
>>43184997This thread's just racist against ants.
>no Tunaflag post yetDid he die? Are we free?
>>43185250I'm not tunafag but I can be him!
2+2+2th for best duo!Enjoy this conveniently packaged Tuna: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/247031/the-mare-who-once-lived-on-the-moon
>>43185255Well, you can definitely post Lunas!
A post Luna society.
>>43185373Is it time for a thousand years of prosperity under the best princess?
>>43185376Cadance?
>>43185380No.
>>43185406She dresses like my wife.
>>43185370Based!
holy fucking shit I am so tired of these captcha checks every 5 minutes is there no way to turn this off
>>43185467Yes, there is, goy.
>tfw you finally finish your fetish fic after a month of feverish writingWord count is just north of 75k. I thought the final editing would be a massive pain, but as I read through it, I'm not finding myself needing to do a ton of changes, so that's good.First chapter posts on Monday. I'm going to try a Monday/Wednesday/Saturday posting schedule as an experiment to see how engagement goes. It'll be fourteen chapters total so it might eventually grind itself into the update section of the feature box, but I'm still skeptical many will end up reading it given the niche fetishes involved.Deviantart will probably do good, though. The cover art's already reached the view count chapters of my previous fetish fic took a decade to hit.>review https://www.fimfiction.net/story/589406/child-of-love (even though the website doesn't work anymore)6.5/10. Flurry's evil for literally no reason. The author doesn't even make an attempt at explaining it. I guess naturally born alicorns have Goa'uld genetic memory or something. The story's fine, showing filly Flurry growing increasingly more despotic and obsessive over controlling the Crystal Heart as it progresses, then it falls off a cliff.There's a big climatic fight between her and Celestia, then she runs away and the story just cuts off. Sorry, it's a contest oneshot and you've reached your word count limit. It wouldn't have been hard to write a decent ending, either. Cut out some of the pointless filler with Flurry and her friends and put in a proper ending.I really hate these "this really needs a sequel" oneshots. Why can't authors figure out the proper scope of their plots?
>>43185623Well what is it?
Technical difficulties in,>/FSBC/Please ignore this for the next 3.5h; it's just that I will not be able to post or respond until much later, hence this timing. Apologies for the inconvenience.As for the fic, however, it is very good! I was a bit wary of the anthology format, but the author pulled it off well. Each of these is just a sweet little morsel of differently flavored horror, and it's really fun to both read each individual story and see how M6 pick what kind of story they want to tell. I will probably not have the time to discuss each in order, but I will say that none of them are bad and all could, more or less, be posted as individual one-shots—although, yes, some are very cliché, but here, referencing the different subgenres or styles is the structural frame of the fic, which turns it into a good thing. Oh, and the technical writing is quite decent. Aside from missing full stops at the end of some paragraphs (it happens 3+ times. How?), I've not run into any real errors, and the narrative voice is good—something that particularly stands out after the blandness we've been subjected to recently. Oh, and of course I like the kaidankai framing. I get that it's not too obscure (I have run into it at least twice in completely non-weeb media), but it's neat. I doubt the author knows any Japanese, though, or he wouldn't have written "kaidanki". It's kaidanKAI (怪談会) with the kanji 'kai' (会), here used to signify that it's a meeting or a gathering.One potential problem with a fic like that would be making it feel like original fiction, not fanfiction. In fact, the first short story kind of marks that as a possibility, with its all-OC cast. Luckily, we're saved from that by the rest of the stories, which use characters and places from the show (although the remark about Filthy Rich reads to me like in-universe they're still talking about the OCs, and we're just shown canon ponies instead—at least until Trixie's fic directly proves this idea wrong). I read them a few days ago, but the FS's dog story, Rara's DT ghost story, Ponk's gorefic, and Trix's Cellyfic all stood out to me enough to be easily remembered. Some of the others, less so, but based on how effective these four were at conveying what they set out to do, I think it's just that their themes resonated more with me, and the other four are also good. Tentative list:the Dog > DT's ghost > Cheerilee's 'tickle' > Tia's letters > Flim's hat > mirror monster > Everfree trip > zombies And yeah, even writing them like that feels wrong, because I do remember the writing in some of the lower entries being quite good and evocative. On a different day, I could easily imagine myself ranking them in a totally different order. And the inter-story segments maybe don't add too much yet, but they're fun, in-character, and Trix is great.It's disappointing that I must leave now, as I liked the fic and would like to say a few more things about each story.Next week, we're finishing this story!
>>43185903Gotta leave until noon, but I'll be back with bigger thoughts by then.I think it's a big point in favour of an anthology when the worst entries are just somewhat bland. And even if you were to dislike any of the entries, you know you'll get something completely different right after. Part of me wishes we could get a bit more of the narrator's voice in each story, but I suppose it works well enough.I'd say Starlight, Pinkie's, and Dash's were my favourites. The one about Filthy would be higher, if it weren't for that ambiguity.Plus, the overarching story of the kaidan is a nice way to tie it all together, and it's fun seeing the M6+ballast talk about the stories in way of critiquing, talking about the subgenres of horror, and general talk about storytelling while remaining in-character. It's really the cherry on top. And I always love it when Twilight's autistic.Oh, and that AN about the number 16 was a nice touch.
>>43185623>75k in a monthI've been averaging not quite two hundred a day this month so far, because I didn't get any done for a few days in a row, during my break month of all times. How the hell could you write good prose at that rate? I'm going to want to read this when you publish it.
>>43186205Most large webnovels are written with a sort of pseudo stream of consciousness style that reads fine despite not being particularly fancy most of the time. You want to be so immersed in reading and writing that prose just flows from your head in an already presentable state. Writing only 200 words a day seems rather tortuous. It seems unlikely that the time investment there is paying meaningful dividends. Like perhaps you spend 10x as long on words that are only 1.5x as good as they would be at a faster pace. At the risk of sounding rude, it's unlikely your writing is on the level of say William Gass or Fitzgerald; you may benefit a lot from finding the right state of mind to write faster. By the way, this is something of a famous historical story, but Dostoevsky wrote The Gambler (a 60k~ word novel) in only 3.5 weeks back when Anon was jerking off to everyone having to write things by hand. So this goes for famous novelists writing beloved fiction too. It's just a bit less common.
>>43186230NTA but I just want to gripe that that flow-state for me made me objectively better at writing and also required being a bit tipsy which I cannot do because I am an alcoholic and committed to my 8 years off the sauce.I miss writing.
>>43185903This story was cool even if it's not October. The first candle was the best but the others were good too. Except Pinkie's Cheerilee story. That one made me sick and I had to stop reading multiple times because it was so gross. Rainbow Dash was right about the DT story, it made me more sad than scared. The Flim Flam story was also sad instead of scary. That might be horror but I don't know. The Apple Bloom story was only cute and the reveal at the end wasn't even scary. Tbh a lot of these stories become unscary when there's an action scene like the mirror pony chasing Moondancer or whatever. Thinking about it the first one with the OCs and the Celestia one were the only actually scary candles. I would guess it's because they're more psychological instead of monster focused. It feels cliche to say that psychological horror is so great like how Rarity says but maybe it's just better for the medium of written works. The author's notes are cute although sometimes they're from an in universe perspective and sometimes an out of universe perspective. I disagree with some of his headcanons.
>>43186257This will be some unsolicited advice, my bad, but I'll just say it in case it's helpful in some way.There's a long history of artists associating their talents with drug use in some form, but in many cases I've observed these associations were largely psychological rather than being grounded in reality. There's a kind of psychological comfort in creating "modes" for oneself like this: instead of needing to be a good writer 24/7, you can divide it into "bad while sober" and "good while tipsy/drunk." Then you can relax while sober, and then feel a psychological power boost when tipsy - suddenly you have a reason to believe you're good. But this doesn't tend to, in my experience, actually increase quality. Usually, if you take output from such writers while not drunk vs drunk, an observer will not be able to distinguish the two. Whatever ineffable quality the artist perceives is not one that tends to be shared by others. Furthermore, there's some basic explanations we can imagine: like being tipsy makes one less stressed and critical, so even similar output can feel better in the moment. All of this is to say that your perception of being objectively better at writing while tipsy made not be the case, and you may be psychologically chaining yourself here. If you miss writing, it can be worth tackling these psychological walls. Of course, the human mind is unfathomably complex, and it may be that being tipsy does objectively improve your writing. It may also be the case that your belief here is strong enough to make it a reality even if the alcohol itself isn't doing something. But just based on all the alcoholic authors I've read about and their input, I think there's a good chance that you can force the flow state while sober... or at the least, you can write equally well, just maybe not as stress-free and breezily as the alternative.
>>43185903>Oh, and the technical writing is quite decent. Aside from missing full stops at the end of some paragraphs (it happens 3+ times. How?), I've not run into any real errorsI saw kind of a lot ha but I don't remember where they were :p>Luckily, we're saved from that by the rest of the stories, which use characters and places from the showThe OCs in the first candle were okay, in fact the story is scarier and more interesting because it's less related to canon characters. I mean even you say its the best one. >>43186192>Part of me wishes we could get a bit more of the narrator's voice in each story, but I suppose it works well enough.Yea there are certainly parts where things kind of happen between the lines and you have to pick up on it.>The one about Filthy would be higher, if it weren't for that ambiguity.Do you mean him being dead or Applejack imagining Filthy Rich and DT in place of whatever OC Rarity told the story about?
>>43186205>How the hell could you write good prose at that rate?Anon, I...
>>43186230>you may benefit a lot from finding the right state of mind to write faster. You ought to be aiming for quality over quantity in any case. Sure, you might not be Gass or Fitzgerald, but there's already an ocean of stream-of-consciousness trash that's in a "presentable state". Your writing will have more merit if you actually try and raise it up beyond the bare minimum of quality instead of merely writing more of it. >>43186310Definitely agree with the "improvement" coming with drug use being an illusion, or at the very least a substitute for simply relaxing and getting into a flow state while sober. It reminds me of how stoners think weed gives them incredibly profound ideas, but the real effect of weed is simply to make them /think/ that regular ideas are incredibly profound.
Hi there, its been a few years since I last posted here, but I finished a story yesterday and apparently people like it enough that it, as of writing this made second place on the feature box.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/589841/battle-of-the-blacksCheck it out.
>>43186230>that reads fineIt doesn't, not compared to more carefully written prose. This style is designed to be skimmed. If you try to slow down and appreciate it the way you would the work of a great stylist, it is unmistakably vapid.>tortuous1. (often figurative) Twisted; having many turns; convoluted.(from https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tortuous)You mean "torturous", I think:1. Of or pertaining to torture.2. Painful, excruciating, torturing.(from https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/torturous)At least you didn't mistake it for "tortious".>It seems unlikely that the time investment there is paying meaningful dividends.It depends on the effect you're going for. I don't write that kind of style because I don't like reading it. I'm more deliberate with my words because that's the kind of prose I like to read. For me, that time investment is worth it.>The GamblerScience fiction author Alfred Bester explained once that one of his short stories, Fondly Fahrenheit, was in his consciousness for several years before he figured out how to tell it. Once he did, putting words on the page was easy. When people asked him how long he had worked on it, the best answer he could give was, "Well, it took two days to type." I don't know anything about the genesis of The Gambler, but it might be similar.As long as we're telling stories about how long it took to write things: Rossini claimed to have written his opera The Barber of Seville in two weeks. Someone went to Donizetti and asked if he believed Rossini's claim. Donizetti snorted and said, "Of course I do! Everyone knows how lazy he is!"
>>43186360Allow me to restate, I am soliciting reviews please.
>>43186376It's FoE, so I'm not even going to try reading it. But I will note that the title sounds very racial.
>>43186383I assure you it has nothing to do with Fall of Equestria.And that was intentional. I wanted to call it Black on Black Violence but i didnt want it to get aryanned
>>43186358>You ought to be aiming for quality over quantity in any case.I was thinking that may be the natural takeaway, but I think it's not quite so simple even though it seems open-and-shut on the surface. I tried to gesture at it with my 10x and 1.5x figures, but what I mean is that the time spent trying to turn "quantity" into "quality" often barely actually improves quality. Most of the best writers out there just shit out text and it's good because they're savants. It seems rare for going slow and trying to "hone' text to actually result in low-skilled authors raising the quality of their output to a significant degree. Usually, it's like, a little better, but not enough to make a notable impact. I think that if one gets into really tiny time frames, there's definitely a crunch effect where quality starts dropping dramatically. It's like those sketch things artists do: 10 seconds vs 1 minute vs 1 hour or whatever. Definitely, telling an author to write a paragraph in 10 seconds can result in garbage compared to 1 hour. I think this crunch window is rather small. For most sentences (i.e. putting aside particularly complex or important lines that one can spend a lifetime contemplating), an author will probably "max out" their quality at like 1 to 2 minutes, and then any time spent after that will just be different shades of the same color. So, what I imagine for that fellow is, they're probably writing out a sentence, getting it as reasonably good as it's gonna be within a few minutes, and then just spending like an hour fussing over it instead of being satisfied.>>43186367I mean, do you think anyone in this thread is a great stylist? If that anon has the talent of one (hence me referencing Gass), then sure, take all the time one needs. But it's not pretty likely that a fimficcer penciling out their story is on the level of craftsmanship where their carefully written prose will be leagues above a stream of consciousness. I think it's very likely that their honed text will be fairly vapid too. This is largely amateur forum for amateurs, after all. And an amateur that is barely writing anything while fussing about quality that doesn't exist for them, would do a lot better to just go faster and get more experience that way. They'd be better off finishing their chapters and spending the time they would have been fussing over lines attending a writing workshop instead or something.
>>43186387You tagged it as a crossover with Fallout. Your long description has a character with the same name as a character in Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons, a character prominent enough that I've heard of him without having read the story. If it's not an FoE story, then you're going to have a lot of angry readers.>I wanted to call it Black on Black ViolenceThat would've been so based that I would've upvoted without reading it.
>>43186404Oh no, it's definitely a Fallout: Equestria fic. The two protagonists are main characters of separate side stories that i quite like. Im just saying it has nothing to do with the Caribou rape fetish nonsense that Fall of Equestria is.
>>43186358>stoners think weed gives them incredibly profound ideasI knew a jazz musician who tried to test this out as scientifically as he could. One night, he recorded himself soloing. While the band was on break, he went out back and got high. He came back and recorded himself soloing again. Same band, same venue, same audience, same night; he controlled every variable he could.While he was high, he felt like his solo was amazing, way better than when he was sober. The next day, when he was sober, he listened to both solos. He also played them for some other jazz musicians. Everyone agreed: The solo he played while sober was good, and the one he played while high was terrible.So it's worse than what you said. Weed doesn't make people think that regular ideas are incredibly profound; it makes them think that bad ideas are incredibly profound.
>>43186360Came for the title, stayed for the Blackjack. (I am racist.)Enjoyable for a bit of battle boarding between two characters. Not much else going on here, but feels like it could have been a scene for sure and all the essential beats you'd expect between them were hit. The dialog in the middle felt kinda trite, like what's the point of Blackjack coming into range to parlay if she's not gonna give him a chance to argue his case when he finally actually says he dindu nuffin?Upvoted, but mainly because I am racist and like Blackjack.
>>43186403Great? Not on the level of literary giants like Conrad, Joyce, Hemingway, etc. But you don't have to reach those heights for time to matter. You say you don't believe that all that time matters. Maybe you're even right about that; but there is still a big difference between a stream-of-consciousness style and a more careful one, because the stream-of-consciousness style spends about as much time per paragraph as an artist does on a ten second sketch.
>>43186310Well I won't argue there's a perfectly good chance the quality of my writing isn't strictly linked to inebriation, you've got me there.But I have struggled immensely to get anything onto the page whatsoever without booze, and that's not something that time and effort have improved at all. I miss the carefree haze, now all my efforts disappoint me.
>>43186459Reading your reply here, I think the term stream-of-consciousness may have given off a way worse impression than I intended. I've been ruminating on some talented authors I've been reading and I've been forced to accept their stream-of-consciousness is so high level that their natural output feels already literary and brilliant. So I have been developing a high opinion of this so-called "stream of consciousness" style which can sometimes evolve into something excellent. But you're right that a literal 10 second sketch timeframe on a paragraph would be bad. I definitely don't mean to be that extreme.
>>43186455Blackjack has the problem of trying to fix unfixable ponies, Black Light is absolutely convinced she's in the right at all times and is a complete combat pragmatist. Blackjack is kind of retarded, and Black Light will use her good pony weakness to hit her again and againSeriously fuck this new captcha
>>43186205You just make the words go.
>>43186467It's pretty plausible that without having your inhibitions lowered it's harder to motivate yourself. It may be a comfort to try to reinforce to yourself that the words aren't worse. Ideally there could be some kind of therapeutic solution here, like maybe lighting incense, or writing after a bath (as per Japanese tradition). Well, I won't force the issue, just something worth considering as you wait for your AA jail to open up. You only live once.
>>43185903Well I'm liking it so far. It almost manages to be cute/comfy just from the parts after each story, and part of that is that I think it manages to stay pony. Again this is mostly because of the parts between each story. I particularly like Starlight so far. As for the stories themselves, they're entertaining enough, and none have been too crazy which is nice. It manages to stay within the realm of pony sleepover stories I think. Anyways>calls the big bro a mareAm I missing something? Or maybe the dog barks at trannies kek>somehow we get applejacks interpretation of rarity's storyWeird. Wtf was rarity saying when the filly was talking about the cmc? whatever>rd has a moondancer story>trixie's subject is CelestiaKek>zombies rising just to run away from the cemeteryKek>>43185903>although, yes, some are very cliché, but here, referencing the different subgenres or styles is the structural frame of the fic, which turns it into a good thingYeah having the M6 talking about the stories afterwards is great>(although the remark about Filthy Rich reads to me like in-universe they're still talking about the OCsYeah that was weird, I think we just got the AJ version as she thought about it even though it was Rarity's story. But then, was it even Twilight going in to fix it? Or just some random non-alicorn? Who knows>zombies lastYeah Twilight's was unfortunate but I don't really mind. It seemed more like a build up to the joke that the zombies were just normal (undead) ponies running away from something in the cemetery under them. But I feel like it maybe fits Twilight to not really come up with anything scarier than that. The scariest stories she's probably heard of have been things she then proceeded to directly experience and fix. But this also assumes she's just never read a horror book>Next week, we're finishing this story!I assumed we were reading way more this week (word wise) and was disappointed when I finished quite quickly lol>>43186192>Oh, and that AN about the number 16 was a nice touch.I forgot that was an AN kek. I think it's gonna be the only worldbuilding in the fic too, but yeah I liked it>>43186308>Except Pinkie's Cheerilee story. That one made me sick and I had to stop reading multiple times because it was so gross.Do we have an actual pony in the club? The thing I would consider the worst that we read was the mare in tartarus getting raped by the corpses of all her seduced victims, but that's just me
>>43186205>How the hell could you write good prose at that rate?By focusing on writing instead of on how kewl and fancy your software is. I was averaging 2k a day when I took commissions. It's if anything impressive your prose is still so bad when you're so slow, but it's probably just because you're autistic so it's massively harder for you to do anything.
>>43186360>he finally admits he was Pippanon all along
>>43186403Shitty writers love to think that taking more time to write more carefully will make for better prose when actually getting more practice in writing will help you way more. They think they can hone a skill they lack the basic training to.
>>43186580No, the confusion was whether or not i was NMMflag.
>>43186593Which you were.
I write fastest when I'm nearly keeled over from sleep deprivation.
>>43186403>>43186477NTA but you're also seeming to imply that good writers are simply good by default and can just spew forth excellent writing from birth, and thus everyone who doesn't have such natural talent is wasting their time trying to be more skilled than they're capable of when they could be writing more of what they /are/ capable of. However, I think you're discounting how a writer can improve their skill over time, especially by writing more slowly and making incremental gains in their skill. Sure, these great writers can write masterpieces like it's nothing at the height of their careers or whatever, but it's usually after decades of learning and improving slowly. Also consider that most fanfic writers are in their teens or twenties, so even controlling for "natural talent" the average skill level will be lower due to a lack of experience.
>>43186609And I realised I never said it explicitly, but obviously what I'm implying is that writing slowly and carefully may be less productive in terms of words or even (quality * words), but it's far more effective at intentionally improving a writer's skill than writing quickly and easily.
>>43186601Not. Correct i was not NMMflag, I kinda miss his reviews
>>43185903I mostly hate oneshots, and this story sucks. Back when I read the first half of it, I couldn’t see how the M6 could be telling these stories. They were obviously assigned to the sleepover ponies haphazardly, and I had no hopes for the Kaidan framing being worth it. Except when reacting “wow, that was unexpectedly scary,” they don’t generally seem to be talking in their own voices. Rather, the author seems to be writing the comment section that they wish the story had. Their imagined comment section is, of course, better than the real one, but I still take offense at them using FiM characters mouths to write it. As for the stories themselves,> DogWhat? Surreal means "nonsense?” The dog injures its own vocal cords to speak better? The dog seems to provoke terror one minute and sympathy the next. The atmosphere seemed forced, probably as a result of the story being so compressed.> Filthy hauntsan story> MoondancerLike it said above, this was more of an action story, a fight.> Flim's hatHate the terrible no-dialogue gimmick. An metaphor. The only thing I appreciated about it was Starlight’s commentary on media illiteracy, but that is much too small to save it.> Cheerilee nomsTirst actual horrifying story. Seems like at least a little thought went into it, with the Thursday, Friday, weekend timing, although nopony commenting on Cheerilee's injured leg Friday was bad. I liked that it works as an addiction metaphor while also allowing Pinkie to interpret it as surface level body horror.
>>43186609>especially by writing more slowly and making incremental gains in their skillRetarded amateur mindset. You won't get better at running by spending five seconds on every step. Start writing.
>>43186609I'm definitely on the pessimistic side, and maybe in a self-serving way, but it's also what I see evidence for. It's pretty common for writers to have great first novels and then for the rest of their output to kind of vary up and down from that basis, but never being too exceptional compared to the rest. (This is distinct, by the way, from popularity - earning the public's eye can be pretty random). Usually when I like an author I'll look up their bibliography and check out their first work because I'm pretty self-conscious and obsessive about how good the greats were when they started. For example, I picked up Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe and was flabbergasted by his writing, so I checked out his earlier work - Operation Ares wasn't necessarily something to write home about, but The Fifth Head of Cerberus was already a work of immediate genius. Orson Scott Card is not looked upon kindly nowadays, but I remember at the time getting A Planet Called Treason and finding it just as excellent as his other works. I could keep listing examples, but what I can't list examples of are authors who I thought sucked but got a lot better, or had some famously poor first work. I can't really think of an author that started off mid then spent decades improving slowly until they started producing masterpieces. That's not to say they don't exist, but they are at the very least dwarfed by savants in my experience. Even when I read extremely long running series that span decades (e.g. Wheel of Time) I don't really feel like the author is improving much over time. Worst of all is the ages. It's not uncommon for me to find out authors started in their early twenties. (I don't consider teenagers here since yeah their brain is literally not finished developing). It seems to me age has basically no relevance on actual skill; old authors are more liable to have just spent their youth accumulating life experience or fighting in wars before eventually getting a lucky break with a publisher. All in all, I have a somewhat dim view of authors improving drastically. That is depressing for someone trying to improve (hey, me too), but it does seem that some immutable factor of the brain's natural verbal IQ has a bigger impact on writing than most other factors. It's still important to practice and get experience, of course, I'm not saying authors immediately start at their maximum power, but it doesn't seem to me they have a massive gestation period either. If I were to make up a number, maybe someone's first 100k to 1m words are a nascent period where even a good author can output garbage while finding their footing, but authors seem to settle into their natural abilities soon enough. If you have counterexamples of writers who sucked ass at the start and talk about their two decades slowly improving I'd love to hear them.
>>43185623All these evil flurry/rebel Flurry/lesbian Flurry fics are making me want to submit a fic to the ongoing Flurry contest where she's just normal but everyone around her keeps expecting her to grow up into some epic subversion of a princess and start speculating whenever she does or says something that can be vaguely interpreted as un-princesslike. But I won't do it because I'm too busy writing other stuff these months.
>>43186637Having to check which stories are in the first half...> Headless pone: an spook tale > Celestia letters: barely a story > Appleoosa zombies: zombies>>43185903I didn't find almost any of them memorable, except maybe Cheerilee's tickle for being gross, hopefully I'll forget it soon.About the M6 and friends being in character in the end-of-chapter commentaries, I didn't find them to ever read in character when they were "defending" their own stories to the comments at the end. Only the filler stuff about snacks, any of them saying the story was unusually scary or weird "for the pony telling it," and Trixie's braggadocio seemed in character.>>43186308In the realm of psychological horror, I think this anthology completely fails to deliver. For the Celestia candle, you have to really give the story all of the possible imaginary credit as to what was on the other side of those letters, because it really doesn't help you along for it. Compared to The Needle or even Familiar, I'd say every psychological candle in Kaidan falls completely on its face. And those stories and more had already opened my eyes to the idea that horror could function as a genre in written form (which is the whole point of Kaidan). It has shown me that body horror also works well in written form, potentially better than visual, but I already don't like it so it's not like it's going to get me to read more.
>>43186673I like to write her as well meaning and genuinely a good person, just unintentionally destructive.
>>43186673>Flurry! You evil yet?>No dad, I'm 12.>Come talk to me when you're evil!
>>43186647Maybe I still wasn't explicit enough. By "writing more slowly", I meant writing more carefully and consciously analysing your own writing, which necessarily involves writing at a slower pace than what the other Anon was suggesting. Only an idiot would assume that writing slowly per se would be somehow better. >>43186653Those are good points, especially about the age of authors, but you also can't assume that an author's first published work is literally the first thing they've ever written. Basically all of fimfiction.net is the kind of amateurish, fun, low-stakes stuff that writers write when they're starting out or learning, /before/ they set out to write something that's serious and also good enough to be published. I hate to sound all Reddit, but you're not seeing the learning process in many of these cases because it happens before the "data" is "sampled". You mention>I don't consider teenagers here since yeah their brain is literally not finished developingbut teen age is when I'd assume most writers first start learning how to write, which again overlaps with the age range of much of fimfiction's user base. You're right that there are plenty of examples of extremely skilled authors in their early twenties, but it's also relatively common within that group for those young authors to have had some kind of major formative experience that heavily inspires their writing. There's another discussion to be had about authors learning more or less quickly, and how that separates the intrinsically talented from the plebs, but I'd call that distinct from savant-ness. >of course, I'm not saying authors immediately start at their maximum power ... but authors seem to settle into their natural abilities soon enoughI can't really give much of an opinion one way or another, just because it's hard to say without much direct evidence inb4 >muh science but I'd agree with you that there's a tendency for authors to plateau in terms of skill, and often even get worse. I still think that neglects the intentional aspect of any artist trying to improve their skill versus feeling comfortable enough with their skill to make the art they want. Maybe an example of an author who improved over time would be Shakespeare? Most of his best-reputed works are from the latter half of his career.
>>43186707>writing more carefully and consciously analysing your own writingI can do that at 1k words per hour. Going as slow as the pregfag does is no more than a symptom of his mental retardation.
>>43186637>> DogI agree with this for the most part. The story was the rich filly's brother wanting to kill her to get the full inheritance. The dog was... there? He barked at the filly and was more than a normal dog, but why? I thought it might've been a past victim of the brother maybe and he turned a pony into a dog, but that doesn't make sense because he isn't a murderer, he only wants to kill his sis for the money. So the sp00k dog being next door is completely coincidental to the other part of the story I guess. And the dog was maybe trying to warn the filly? but then when he actually warns the farmer he can turn off evil mode and actually get the message across? then the dog is dead? Why was the dog in the story, or alternatively, why was the brother?
>>43186467I also have some anxiety about putting words on the page. It really might be true that inebriation helps you write just because it helps calm your nerves enough to actually write. I have found that it helps me to write things that don’t matter to me. Greentexts don’t matter to me, and I don’t have the same nerves if they’re what I’m writing. I’ve also picked a random word and written a paragraph where I use it properly and in context; it’s just practice using words and has no other meaning, so again, I don’t choke up.Or you could do coke. I bet you could write a lot words on coke.
>>43187010King wrote entire stories while high off his mind.
>>43186477I think you are underestimating the amount of effort most writers put in to revising and editing. It might be true that a good writer can spew lots of good words faster than most, but those words are usually not publication quality. A lot of writers spend as much time or more making revisions as they do initially putting words on the screen. There are lots of great books whose writing time was dominated by revisions. That goes back at least to The Aeneid (which Virgil requested be burned upon his death because he wasn’t done revising it). And even if a writer writes a book where everything comes out right the first time, that might not happen for later books Faulkner said that he didn’t change a single word of As I Lay Dying, but he also published like four different versions of The Bear.
>>43187017Was he coked up when did the Waste Lands? That was the best Dark Tower IMO.
>>43187037Yeah but editing is supposed to come after the writing, not during.
>>43185903i quite liked this so far. as much as the quality varies from story to story, there was only one that i actively disliked.as for each story individually:>dogpretty good. i liked the ambiguity on whether jade's dead at the end of the story or not, and the mystery on why the dog died is good. my only complaint is that the fic gives you pretty much no time to try to figure out the murder plot on your own. but at least once it does reveal its hand, it does successfully make everything before that point scarier.>ghostsvery much more sad than scary once you figure out what's going on. still a decent story though. although, you'd think diamond tiara would catch on eventually.>mirrorit seems like most people weren't crazy for this one, but i liked it a lot. it had me on the edge of my seat for most of it. although the ending left a bit to be desired. i don't think moondancer straight up getting gored by the monster would have been a better ending, but i think i wish it was resolved a little less "cleanly" so to speak.>hatonly straight up bad story. it's repetitive and boring and literally nothing thst could possibly be called scary happens. i also detest making an entire story a metaphor as a concept. if your story does not function without the reader going out of their way to interpret what everything "actually" means, then you have failed at creating a story. allegory is a crutch for bad writers.>tickledecent little body horror. not much to say about this one. but what was the point of showing that the teething ring worked to sate the tickle without having cheerilee injure herself if it's never brought up again? no scene where she says it isn't enough anymore, no scene where she considers it but just decides she'd rather knaw on her leg instead, it just dissapears from the story as soon as it cheerilee finds out it works. what was the point of having it in the story at all?(1/2)
>>43187133>forestthis one really feels like a classic campfire story.the formula of>character is doing scary task and is scared>they keep looking out for scary things and never find them>they successfully complete the scary task without ever finding a scary thing and are relieved>but it turns out there was something scary the whole timeis one that i can't think of any specific examples of, but it would genuinely surprise me if there were less than 10 classic scary stories that use it.still probably one of the lesser stories though. obviously, not a whole lot happens for the bulk of the story, and the reveal itself isn't that scary either. it's told in an effective way, but the monster just being a monster from another in-universe campfire story is kind of lame. i also actually wanted to hear the end of zecora's story about the tree.>lettersbest one of the bunch in my opinion. the nature of the letters and their author, and the way the evolve over hundreds of years, really is spooky. the whole thing's just executed really well. nothing bad to say here. good stuff.>zombiesi could tell by how much time was spent on the preperations for the zombies' arrival that the zombies weren't going to be the real threat. i was actually more surprised that the ponies actually did start fighting the zombies than that they stopped. still,>runnin'was pretty creepy. but as good as the ambiguity of some unseen monsters so horrible even the dead fear them is, i really don't like that the ponies just hold their ground. i think it would have been a lot more effective if they got to runnin' too.there's also the banter after each story, and it's pretty good. i probably wouldn't read an entire fic of just that, but as an addition to the end of each chapter of a horror anthology, it's really nice. i wonder if there's actually gonna be some spooky things happening in them near the end of the fic.over all, my ranking of the stories would beletters>dog>mirror>tickle>ghosts>forest>zombies>hat(2/2)
>>43187135>i also actually wanted to hear the end of zecora's story about the tree.that was the best part of that story kek
>>43186498Therapeutic solutions aren't a bad idea actually, thanks anon. It's definitely a confidence thing, like getting over how scared I am that what I write will reveal my inadequacy to me.>AA jailMm, the commitment to sobriety in this case is mine and indefinite, 8 years is just where I'm at now.>>43187010>write things that don't matter to mealso an unironically good idea. okay.
>>43186592>writing carefully isn't a way of practicing writing
>>43186653You haven't read Orson Scott Card's Homebody. It's another one of his early novels, but unlike Treason, it's shit. It's just barely publishable. If it were a pony fic, /fsbc/ would rip it apart.>It seems to me age has basically no relevance on actual skillI think that's the wrong way of looking at it. It's not age that's the determining factor; it's time spent writing. Furthermore, there isn't a linear relationship between time spent writing and skill; like a lot of things, you learn faster at the beginning.>I'm not saying authors immediately start at their maximum powerNo, certainly not. The longer you spend here, the more your power level increases.
>>43187045No, he was on cocaine in the 80s. He's said he doesn't remember writing Cujo and that parts of Misery and The Tommyknockers are metaphors for addiction. Of the Dark Tower books, only The Drawing of the Three was written in that period. But he hadn't been clean for that long when he wrote The Waste Lands.
>>43187156Not when it's to the point of only writing 200W/day and convincing yourself anyone who writes more can possibly be writing well. But in general worrying about the quality of writing as you write is a wrong approach. Words don't exist in a vacuum. You cannot actually judge how well a sentence flows, a term fits, a paragraph is constructed, or a scene works until you have the proper context of everything around them. So spending too long picking each word is simply a waste of time, because you can't actually know what's best until you have a full portion of text around it. That's why you should write first and edit later. Editing as you write is like inking and colouring before you're done sketching.
>>43187189>parts of Misery and The Tommyknockers are metaphors for addictionIt's really fucking evident as far as the latter is concerned. Even aside from one of the protagonists being a guy who struggles with alcohol and gets blackout drunk, the plot revolves around people making shit without understanding how it works. There's other stuff too that's not coming to mind right now.As an aside I'll never understand people who say the ending is bad.
Well, I've written 24,891 words this year so far, and my goal is 100,000 in one year. My average per day is 230 and my median is about 200. These are really brought down by all of the days I failed to write anything at all, a little over a full month by now. If we only count the days I've managed to write, then my average is 340 with a median of 300. My highest is 865.>>43186230>You want to be so immersed in reading and writing that prose just flows from your head in an already presentable state.Yeah, that's how I write most of the time. I rarely ever edit anything except misspellings and other basic mistakes. Of course, I reference my dictionary as needed, but that's while the words are still in my mind and nowhere else.>It seems unlikely that the time investment there is paying meaningful dividends. Like perhaps you spend 10x as long on words that are only 1.5x as good as they would be at a faster pace.I don't know. My post last thread about agonizing over a single word until I found the right one, "britchens" that is, was the highlight of my writing that day.>At the risk of sounding rude, it's unlikely your writing is on the level of say William Gass or Fitzgerald; you may benefit a lot from finding the right state of mind to write faster.Nah, it's not rude. That's one thing I like about commissions, the inability to take too long. So, rather than letting a draft sit around for years, I just get it done. Of course, my writing with the word "britchens" is for a commission. I keep thinking back to someone here saying Tolkien averaged only about 400 per day.>>43186257I can't claim to have noticed a difference between sober writing and not, but I don't drink heavily, a glass of whiskey at most, say.>>43186403>So, what I imagine for that fellow is, they're probably writing out a sentence, getting it as reasonably good as it's gonna be within a few minutes, and then just spending like an hour fussing over it instead of being satisfied.No, I can knock out a hundred to several hundred words in an hour or two, or less, it's just getting that going that's difficult some days. I've regularly hit my writing goal for the day with, say, half an hour to spare before midnight.>>43186572>By focusing on writing instead of on how kewl and fancy your software is.I got most of my customizations in over a decade ago, or at least a good chunk of them. You should stop to sharpen your axe occasionally; this would be equivalent to updating your configuration with features you've more recently learned. One feature has really saved my hands a lot of pain lately, but I only learned about it in the last few years.>I was averaging 2k a day when I took commissions.I'm only counting my story writing here. One day this month, I wrote roughly two thousand words, but about 700 of those were for a story and I switched to my other writing for the rest of that.
I think I do about 1k-2k words a day now, and that's a couple hours at night.
>>43187320Look at it this way: A short story is usually around 2,000 to 4,000 words. If you write 200 finished words a day, weekdays only, then you can write a short story in two weeks to a month. If you do that consistently, month after month, then you write between one dozen and two dozen short stories per year. That's faster than most writers can manage. So I don't think 200 words/day is really the embarrassment you seem to think it is. (It's not fast enough for commercial genre writers (mysteries, romance, SF, fantasy), but they're professionals, so they spend a bigger chunk of their day writing than most of us have time for. Also, they're writing novels, and you can go faster with those since you only have to figure out one set of characters, one plot, one setting, etc., instead of starting anew for each story.)
I write so slowly and carefully that I average 0 words/day.
(I fell asleep.)>>43187368>I keep thinking back to someone here saying Tolkien averaged only about 400 per day.If you're writing on Tolkien's level that makes sense. And I don't even mean in terms of prose. He put enormous focus on linguist concerns like creating languages for the other races and basing his word choice on concerns alien to most of us like digging through ancient German to find fitting words for creatures that evolved slightly differently from ours. If you're spending 90% of your day in foreign language dictionaries in a pre-internet era then your prose is going to be slowed down a lot.>>43187431NTA, but I wouldn't try to say 200 words/day or adjacent is embarrassing. Rather, I just mean it may not be as good for long-term growth and quality as some might imagine. It's easy to think of going slow as virtuous and beneficial for the long-term, but it may actually be denying oneself tons of valuable practice and output for relatively little gain. Just something to consider.I also think it's really important to remember we're talking in a context of online fimfiction. This is one of the best and safest places for writing quickly. Not to say writing is ever easy, of course, but the characters are all laid out here, there's tons of genre convention to draw from, there's little risk (well, I suppose trying to earn commissions introduces risk). I may be totally off base here, but I might suggest people try to throw themselves at some magnum opus and write maniacally for months to a year, just vomiting words out. That may end up with more improvement than they otherwise could have imagined going at a slower pace.I write 10,000 words a day. Not usually fimfiction though. Nor to say I'm an ideal role model.
>>43185903>General impressionsGood anthology. Nice framing device, and the author knows the value of one-sentence paragraphs for crafting atmosphere and pacing. I like that the fic doesn't waste time and immediately starts with the first story, saving the framing device for the end of the chapter. I would prefer if it wasn't explicitly announced who's going to tell next though, it'd be fun to try to guess whose story we're reading (I don't think I'd guess anyone but AJ, Shy, and Rarity correctly). Also have mixed feelings about character discussions. They're short and nice to have, but in some ways feel redundant. Nice touch with explaining how the stories aren't literally being told about their acquaintances in-universe (imagine how silly a creepypasta about moot or some shit would look IRL). Not sure I'm a fan of the lore dumps in Author's Notes, but I suppose it's better than trying to awkwardly shoehorn them into dialogue as exposition. >Spike absentI bet he's telling Big Mac and Discord the horror story of how he cuddled with everypony for 60k words. >the scripture had eschewed much of its arcane matrix in lieu of ominous warningsTwilight should've said "Rainbow Dash, stop using ChatGPT to tell your story".Now for the actual stories.>DogOkay. Kinda weak compared to others. Needed more hints to the dog's true nature, like the filly mentioning that someone used to live in that house before but disappeared since her brother visited them. The talking dog spook is effective though. One thing this story has over the others is that "unknown ponies in an unknown place" is arguably a better fit for horror than specific canon characters.>Filthy RichI liked Rarity's stated view on horror, so it's weird that to me this is one of the weaker entries. Probably because it doesn't really capitalize on that psychological desperation in the face of a shattered comfort zone. It's more bittersweet than anything (and may or may not be a rip-off of a movie I haven't seen)
>>43187501>Mirror ghostNow we're talking. I sympathize with RD's view (even if the author blatantly fails to capture her voice). Proactive protagonists who fight back can be really fun, so this was simple and sweet, without losing the horror aspect. >Flim's hatReally enjoyed this one. It's pretty laconic, not really delving into the specifics of Flim's insecurities, but it still works as a surreal psychological piece. I especially love Flim's dark, abrupt closing line. The thing I don't love is Starlight's explanation. She really needs to shut the fuck up when discussing these stories in general. Obviously, I'm not against analysis, but I feel like trying to chain the story to a single allegory takes away some of its magic, makes it mundane and pedestrian. I prefer "I can relate the imagery in this story to X" to "this story is a clear allegory of X and nothing more than that".>CheerileeMight be my favorite. Self-mutilation is so viscerally unnatural that it always makes for great horror when written well, and this one is definitely written well. It nails the feeling of an irrational compulsive urge that doesn't have an explanation but just is, and how it can slowly destroy your mind and body. Again, Starlight needs to shut up.>Forest95% suspense, 5% pay-off at the end. But it's a really good pay-off, something straight outta Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark. And the bit just before that, where Apple Bloom overhears the adults talking about something she's not supposed to hear, is top-notch in putting you on edge. (cont.)
>>43187510>Tartarus lettersSurprisingly, really solid. Manages to create a disturbing image of Tartarus as this horrifying, barely controllable force, without even showing that much. Great rising tension with a gut-punch of an ending. Starlight once again needs to shut the fuck up and stop ruining the mystique. On a meta level, it reads just a little bit like the author jerking himself off.>Appleloosa zombiesAlright for a short zombie story with a twist, the appuls are quite colorful for how little time we spend with them. I wish there was more attention on the horror of them brutalizing their own dead friends and family, rather than just the unknown threat at the end (although it is effective). Overall ranking for now:Cheerilee > Tartarus letters > Flim's hat > Mirror ghost > Forest > Dog > Appleloosa zombies > Filthy Rich>>43186308Pinkie...>>43186519>the mare in tartarus getting raped by the corpses of all her seduced victims,That's maybe conceptually worse, but the story doesn't linger on that. Unlike Cheerilee's story, which lets you get into her skin. It had way more of an effect on me than that rape paragraph, too.>>43187133See, this is why I don't like Glim's commentary, it boils the story down to a single straightforward concept rather than something to tickle your imagination.>allegory is a crutch for bad writers.I can guarantee you can find allegories in all your favorite stories.
>>43187541>I can guarantee you can find allegories in all your favorite stories.Look up Tolkien's essay on Allegory vs Applicability >I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence. I much prefer history, true or feigned, with its varied applicability to the thought and experience of readers. I think that many confuse 'applicability' with 'allegory'; but the one resides in the freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author.
>>43187541>I can guarantee you can find allegories in all your favorite stories.there's a difference between a story having an allegory, and a story being an allegory.
Why the hell do I keep typing "had" when I mean "and"? I've caught the error at least a dozen times when editing this thing.>>43185852If you mean the fetish fic, it's called Daring Do and the Curse of Avarice. Daring's trying to retrieve a magical artifact that unlocks an ancient kingdom's treasure that contains powerful chaos magic. A sadistic thief is also after the treasure. Cartoon fetish shenanigans ensue.>>43186205>good prose>implyingMy fetish fic narrator gives insane levels of detail when the fetish scenes happen, to the point each hoof's position is typically given, so that really bloats the word count out:>Her forehooves were raised and, in Daring’s opinion, looked to be up defensively. One partially covered the mare’s neck, while the other was just under her muzzle. The bottoms of the hooves were fully visible, as was the mare’s athletic chest and stomach. Daring was shocked to see what appeared to be an indent of the Medallion’s pyramid face on one of the forehooves. Her hindlegs were in the standard sitting position, which, like the pegasus before her, made her cutie mark nearly impossible to determine. Maybe a wood shield and with crossed spears?>One of her rear hooves was raised up, it’s bottom fully visible like the fore, while the other was planted to the ground. Her tail was just slightly visible from behind her, it’s form and cut mirroring that of her mane.Repeat this for all 30+ fetish scenes and you get a really high word count from describing body parts alone. It's probably not everyone's cup of tea as it leaves little to the imagination and might even be a bit monotonous to read, but I hate reading fetish stories where the narrator only gives the most basic of descriptions. If I have to paint the mental picture to fap to myself, I'll just make my own scene. The story is also fairly formulaic in its structuring, owing to the back-and-forth thing going on with Daring and the thief, so before I'd even write a chapter, I knew which scenes needed to go in it and how they needed to play out to setup the next chapter.Picking fetish scenes you find are hot and getting incredibly horny from them also helps a lot. I hit 5.6k one day because I was writing an asfr "freezing" scene involving Daring I've been using a version of for six years. It was getting so bad, I wasn't eating lunch and was instead writing fetish scenes during my lunch break because my horniness was making me lose my appetite.
>>43187686This is a similar amount of detail to my stories, so I understand you here.>It's probably not everyone's cup of tea as it leaves little to the imagination and might even be a bit monotonous to read, but I hate reading fetish stories where the narrator only gives the most basic of descriptions.I feel the same way, and I've had people who weren't into the fetish tell me they liked the focus on detail in mine.>If I have to paint the mental picture to fap to myself, I'll just make my own scene.Exactly.>Picking fetish scenes you find are hot and getting incredibly horny from them also helps a lot.I can also empathize with you there, kek.
>>43187368>I can knock out a hundred to several hundred words in an hour or twoAnon...
>>43187621>>43187555Allegory and metaphor are different things.
>>43187478Slow writers write slow because they have little time to write. Tolkien was a full time professor and researcher. Gaiman was busy doing whatever it is Scientology had him doing when he was writing just 500 words a night. If you have the freedom to dedicate a couple of hours to writing yet still come out to just 300 words there's legitimately something wrong.
>>43184443Look up Iceverse, the early stories that have Celestia listed as a character have her and Luna as children wandering the barren landscapes of the planet after a great catastrophe wiped out all the elder alicorns.>inb4 Ice StarJust giving you what you asked for.
>>43188087Has he stopped being a stupid child or is he still at it?
>>43188110According to his most recent blog, he suffered a concussion at the start of 2023. His recovery has been slow, and he has ongoing mental health issues. (I find this totally believable, because one of my coworkers got a severe concussion in a car accident and it took her six years to recover.) I think the answer to your question is, "He never was a stupid child, but his behavior may still be peculiar at times."
>>43188150He was a stupid child before Covid too.
QRD on Ice Star? His stuff just seems vaguely mediocre and he produces a lot of it.
>>43188415He was touched as a child so he decided everyone who likes loli should have their head on a pike.
>>43188621Pedophiles should have their head on a pike.
>>43188649>Luna poster>anti-pedoeerrmmm?
>>43188621Oh, i thought it was more something like Artist
>>43188621Didn't know he was cool like that.>>43188649B-based?!?
>>43188649 >>43188722Pretty sure he also thinks everyone who likes pony foalcon should have their head on a pike.
Speaking of Ice Star, is anyone here familiar with https://www.fimfiction.net/user/474842/Miro+MM, who's apparently been debating him a lot recently in their stories' comments? One of their stories was added to a group I'm in recently, and I can't tell whether it belongs or not. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/542456/three-bedrooms-in-a-disco-bin#comment/12417581 says that someone is "spamming the story into groups". (In my case it was added by https://www.fimfiction.net/user/336973/Booples, but I don't know whether that's the same account adding it everywhere else.)
>>43188767I'm more confused as to how a guy with that many followers gets so little traffic on his fics.
>>43187368>One feature has really saved my hands a lot of pain lately,Well?
>>43188817Might be because Iceverse is a huge cycle with dozens of loosely connected stories of varying quality and most people can't be bothered to read them all in chronological order. The Iceverse group is also the only place you can access that order (well, there's also a TV Tropes article, but it's pretty outdated nowadays).
>>43188649You're right, we should round up all the queers and kill them.
>>43189006Get over it, Q.
>>43188915I liked the Weedverse better.
>>43189067The Freeverse is the superior verse.
>>43189247The best verse is iambic pentameter.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/589615/daring-do-and-the-curse-of-avariceCommence the shilling. Prologue is now live. Fimfic didn't like the full size cover art, so I had to shrink it.>SynopsisEighteen hundred years ago, the ancient Kingdom of Tenuia was a mighty power. It basked in wealth and power few empires have wielded. Today, it lies in ruins. Ruins that still cling to the Kingdom’s secrets and its power. One artifact in particular, the Medallion of the Carta Portis, was said to be the key to unlocking the Kingdom’s secrets. Secrets linked to an old chaotic Equestrian foe that had nearly dominated the world not once, but twice before, both times bringing Equestria to the brink of ruin.It was a familiar story to Daring Do. There were always ruins of ancient kingdoms with hidden powers some amulet or ring could unlock. She had thought it would just another of these standard retrievals. That is, until she came up against a greedy, sadistic thief after the same prize and the powerful, ancient magics in the ruins of Tenuia that are determined to stop anypony—adventurer or thief alike—from greedily stealing its treasures.Content Advisory: Despite the synopsis and even the plot itself, this story is a fetish fic. Fetishes that broadly fall under the “cartoon physics” banner and include: flattening, compression, shape change, freezing, modulation, and disintegration. Oh, and mind control/hypnosis, as well.>Short synopsisDaring Do is after an old, ancient artifact from the Kingdom of Tenuia that’s linked to Discord. So is a greedy thief hoping to cash in on Tenuia’s famed treasure. Tenuia, itself, however, has some very cartoony surprises in store for the both of them.
>>43188815All I know for certain is that they wrote the ChiCom clopfic that was posted in a recent thread. It looks like they mostly write trollfics? It takes a special kind of person to write that much of that kind of stuff.
>>43189620I see "Daring Do and the Amulet of Graveeda" is in the similar section, kek.>>43188845Emacs has this concept called "Abbrevs" that let you type less. I don't know if Vim has them too, but I'd expect it to have something equivalent.
>>43189787The vim method is the Ultisnips package. I have no idea how it would be relevant to fiction, though.
>>43189620Fucking Starlight Nova, kek.
>>43189649Very esoteric form of trolling. 2deep4me.
>tfw it's now your worst rated fic on FimfictionKek. I really gotta finish that [Comedy][SoL] featurebait I've had sitting around for a decade to see how normal fics actually perform now. I'm much more surprised by it sitting as the newest story for five hours during the alleged "peak hours" according to that one old blog post. Deadfiction.net confirmed. Doing much better on Deviantart, as expected.Part of me wonders if the T Tax really hurts it. I was tempted to toss in a sex scene to force the M rating, but I refuse to compromise on its cartoony foundation by tainting it with horse vaginas or crotchtits. I already compromised enough with the implied tentacle thing with the inflation hoses.>>43188817Followers =/= story views. It never has and it never will.>>43189787>Daring Do and the Amulet of GraveedaOnce I saw that when I first made the story I knew you'd mention it.>>43189949I was tempted to reply, but I think I'll just leave it.
>>43190151You missed peak hours. Maybe I should collect more data some day, but I doubt it's any different now than it used to be.
>>43188767B-based?!?
>>43188596i agree
>>43189024I'm not that suicidal.
>>43189787>Emacs has this concept called "Abbrevs" that let you type lessAnd you still only average 300 words a day in spite of that.
>>43190686Here, let me give an example from yesterday, when I wrote 335 words. So, I didn't start writing until Cold Blooded Twilight's stream, which is late in the day for me. Over three hours, while watching the stream, I managed 166 words. I wasn't writing the entire time, though; I was also in the chat and distracted with yet other stuff, only trying to get 100 words done in an hour and failing at that. Afterwards, I had an hour left, but I didn't write more until the last twenty minutes of the day or so. That seems to be 189 in about twenty minutes or less. That's pure stream of consciousness writing, where I think about what I want to write, and I just let the sentences pool in the paragraph based on what I've yet to describe and what thoughts I want the paragraph to communicate.I don't know, is that a bad rate?
>>43190755Yeah.
>>43190755Uh, if I'm understanding this right, you were watching a like twitch stream and talking in chat while writing? Sorry, but that's just stupid. The human brain does not do well with processing 2 or more streams of language at once; every time you listened to the streamer speak it would completely interrupt your internal monologue and writing output. It would be basically impossible to focus. That you were participating in chat too is just ridiculous, that's such a lack of focus and effort I can barely believe it. That's why you took 3 hours to write 166 words, and then did 189 in twenty minutes later. Watching a stream while writing is one of the worst possible things you can do for output. Not to mention, it's already just a little pathetic to be dealing with such small figures. This is like if we were on /fit/ and people were talking about doing 10 reps of a 5 pound dumbbell, or jogging for 3 minutes. It's just so pitiful one should stop themselves from talking about it and think "wait, something is clearly wrong" before they even post anything.
>>43190156Where is this graph from?
>>43190837I made it. It's about three weeks of data. Maybe it was four? I don't remember for sure. I stopped collecting data when I was confident it was the same pattern every day, even on weekends (and I think there was a holiday in there, too).
>>43190834It also explains why his writing is such shit. Nobody can write well when they’re not focusing.
>>43190755>"I carefully curate my word choices and work hard to make sure my writing is the best">*writes while watching a stream*This level of cognitive dissonance would be laughable if it wasn't legitimately sad. You're not even stupid. You're autistic to the point you can't even appreciate the faults in your being.
Best warm fuzzy feel good fics to fall asleep to?
>>43191334How many Reading Rainbows have you read today?
>>43191383One
>>43190834>Uh, if I'm understanding this right, you were watching a like twitch stream and talking in chat while writing? Sorry, but that's just stupid.It was Picarto, but basically. I'm mostly just either watching CBT draw, talking in chat, or focussing on writing a story. I may knock out a paragraph, get stuck, and then just pay attention to the other two, say. I agree that trying to focus on all three at once just wouldn't work.>The human brain does not do well with processing 2 or more streams of language at once; every time you listened to the streamer speak it would completely interrupt your internal monologue and writing output.I agree. CBT doesn't speak at all, so it's just listening to his music, and I already write with music playing most of the time.>It would be basically impossible to focus. That you were participating in chat too is just ridiculous, that's such a lack of focus and effort I can barely believe it. That's why you took 3 hours to write 166 words, and then did 189 in twenty minutes later. Watching a stream while writing is one of the worst possible things you can do for output.You may have a point here. I'm compelled to try to get some work done while I'm just watching something like a stream, but maybe I should stop and see how that works out. He only streams thrice a week, so I'm not doing it all that often.>Not to mention, it's already just a little pathetic to be dealing with such small figures. This is like if we were on /fit/ and people were talking about doing 10 reps of a 5 pound dumbbell, or jogging for 3 minutes. It's just so pitiful one should stop themselves from talking about it and think "wait, something is clearly wrong" before they even post anything.Excuse me for discussing the matter around such heavyweights.>>43190977>This level of cognitive dissonance would be laughable if it wasn't legitimately sad. You're not even stupid. You're autistic to the point you can't even appreciate the faults in your being.Those aren't mutually exclusive, I even gave an example last thread, but I don't care to explain further to someone so rude.
If you were going to die soon and had to read one last fic which would it be?
>>43191985Circles, so when I get to the end, my wife and I die at the same time.
He keeps writing them. I keep reading them, thinking, "This can't possibly be as idiotic as it sounds!" But it is, every time. Sunset and mud. Sunset and mud, over and over. This time I realized it's stopped being funny for me. It's too obsessive for me to laugh at anymore.
>>43191985Probably my first story to see how far I've come since then.Or Heart of an Author for the sheer rage to make me feel alive again for a bit.
>>43192024>writinglolhe doesn't even slip his typo-laden rewordings into the output to fly under the radar anymore, this one is just straight GPT like the original
>>43191588Oh, no speaking makes it make more sense. I have used streams for BGM before, like radios, so that's not so beyond the pale, though with chat turned off. Lately, I've been making Foobar playlists of game OSTs and such so that I can better make my entire work environment "offline" in a sense with little distractions. I was getting bothered by youtube autoplay bringing up distracting videos. To some degree, I think letting your attention waver when getting stuck may be something that lowers your writing speed. I mean, it's not going to un-stuck itself. It's not exactly pleasant, but staying focused when you get "stuck" and promptly working through it is probably important.In terms of "getting work done while watching a stream," I think it's valuable to have the mindset that multitasking always makes both things worse. A writer will probably not want to impact their writing in that way. So, well, personally speaking I devote my full attention to streams when watching them since otherwise I would find them not worth watching and close them, but when using voiceless streams for BGM that's equivalent to not watching a stream for me. The middle ground you're in with chat interaction and watching a bit I guess is unrrusual for me, but at some points I tried playing low-effort games on my backlog while watching, like maybe trying to do some Slay the Spire runs which I don't really care if I lose or somesuch. That's kind of preachy, but I'm not trying to tell you have to live, just yapping. Writing is kind of too important to let be damaged by split attention, I think.>Excuse me for discussing the matter around such heavyweights.I meant it less to be rude and more to give important context. Like "100~ words in 3 hours" is pretty close to doing nothing at all. So it should be valuable to reconsider it greatly. Like it wouldn't have been too different if you didn't write at all in those hours, then waiting for after the stream and did as much in 20 minutes.
>>43190156>You missed peak hoursThink you need to redo the graph. Story was posted at 23:30 UTC (6:30 PM EST). It remained the newest story on Fimfic for six hours.>>43190755That's way too many distractions to write. You gotta block out dedicated time for it where you're not doing anything else except listening to music, if that's you're thing. I try to follow a schedule where I give myself at least an hour to write/edit.>is that a bad rate?For me it would be. I'm not happy unless I hit 500. If I get north of 1k I'm really happy. At full tilt, I can do 1k an hour, but that's feverish fetish writing. I think my best non-fetish was 4k in a day for the freighter oneshot.>>43192024>He keeps writing them. I keep reading themCongratulations, Mud Anon, you're the new Hailey Potter Anon. You'll only find peace when he moves over to Japanese light novels like Hailey's author did.
>>43192320I stand by the graph. It was like this every day for weeks. (The one limitation is that it was made when we were not in DST. DST might change things.) 23:30 is the latter part of Fimfiction's day. Peak hours are 20:00–22:30 UTC. If you want to maximize the number of users who see it at or near the top of the new stories list, you should post when the number of users first starts to level off, around 17:00 UTC (unless there's an upcoming contest deadline that's causing a large number of stories to be submitted; then you might want to wait until 20:00).That said, I don't think that has much to do with your fic's performance: You're still in the new stories column, even with M-rated stories included. It's more likely that people are deciding not to read a fetish fic for a fetish they don't share. (By the way, your long description is remarkably clear about the nature of the story. Thank you for that.)
>>43192299>>43192320Alright, I'll try a new strategy. I used to try to write 100 words an hour for a few hours a day, taking a break when I hit 100, and more recently I've switched to this, where I'm writing more haphazardly but just trying to get to so many words a day. I'll go for a week of dedicating a block, an hour or two, to nothing but writing each day and see how that works out for me.>I meant it less to be rude and more to give important context.It's fine, I appreciate your thoughts on this. Until we had this conversation, I didn't know how slow my writing speed would be considered. I'd certainly prefer a speed closer to one thousand a day.
>>43192362Good luck. I definitely think that "just writing" and letting the word count fall where it may is best. Stuff like quotas and "trying to get work done while doing X" feels kind of like one is not enthused about the writing itself. It's best if you're not forcing yourself or feeling pressure, but rather writing while focused for love of the game.Well, that's just my take as some guy. If it doesn't work out for you that'll be rough. A slower speed isn't a death sentence but generically speaking the lower output and lower rate of practice are both unfortunate.
Damn you guys type slow. Don't tell me you're the kind of people who only think of your story when writing.
>>43192362>I used to try to write 100 words an hour for a few hours a day, taking a break when I hit 100Terrible terrible terrible approach. The biggest hurdle to doing something mentally is starting to do it and the best way to do something well is to get deep into it. You're turning off your engine the moment you get it going and worse training yourself to stop. Your writing should happen all at once because the writing in the middle is a lot easier to do than the writing at the start.
I can't believe AWiBD died so soon after its cover art was completed.
>>43193029That's why you finish the story, THEN you get the cover art, THEN you post it all.
It's up
>>43189787>Emacs has this concept called "Abbrevs" that let you type less.I've never needed this. Just install an autocomplete package and forget about it.
>>43193394oh neat it's like a shittier version of what my IDE and integrated AI assist do for me but in a context where I'd fucking hate it.
Just write on your tablet.
>>43191334https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBPVANguHQM
>>43193653>write chapters in ms paint using the pencil tool>run the image through an image to text tool>paste the output to fimfiction
Nailing my fics to the door of the church as Martin Luther intended
Passing my fics down as part of the oral tradition like Homer. (Also, they’re about blowjobs.)
>>43193783Having a troupe of traveling players in a post-apocalypse act out my fics over centuries until cultural drift and changing standards turn them into almost unrecognizable forms of themselves that are somehow cultural touchstones.
crafting my fics into paper airplanes and launching them from the roofs of skyscrapers.
They put my fic on Voyager
>>43193790There should be a fic based on that picture, but I'm too busy to write it myself.
>>43193803I'm all for more Positive Pinkie Parent Propaganda, honestly. Them and Rainbow Dash's parents get dragged too much in stuff (and Rarity's parents not enough).
even with a circle captcha
Favorite Applejack fics?
>>43194156Three Steps Back
i want to write, how do we get motivation to write again?
>>43194173Who's this "we"?
>>43194173Look at the Front Page of FiMFiction and realise you can only be better than that.
>>43194352How can I beat Pignat blow-for-blow, though?
>>43192351>your fic's performanceI knew it wouldn't do well. My last niche fetish fic also pulled bad numbers on Fimfiction. Just the nature of the fetish. I'm just shocked it was the only fic posted on the site for six hours in prime time EST. I knew the fandom had shrunken, but I didn't think it had gotten that bad.>Thank you for that.I always try to have a good long description. It's the short that's always a pain to do well.>>43192362>taking a break when I hit 100That's honestly shocking to me. I could see stopping after filling a page or two, but a hundred words? That's just a single good-sized paragraph. Seems like you're really obsessing over word choice in the moment. Deal with that later. Just write. You can refine the wording when you do the editing sweeps.
>>43193029what does AWiBD stand for?
>>43194173Someone once asked me: "Why do you imagine writers write?" And of course this is one of those questions that have a thousand answers, but here was theirs: "Because they are filled with a need - not a want, a need - to make something that does not exist; something only they can make, clearly, since it has not yet been made by anyone else." This is probably a bit too pithy to sink in all at once, but to me it is enlightening. If you don't have any motivation to write, or, more precisely, if there is nothing you feel a "need" to make, and you are content consuming, you don't need to motivate yourself to write. You don't need to do anything, because you aren't, in that moment, a writer. Even if you forced yourself to write, it probably would not be that spiritually significant. Instead, you should focus on consuming and thinking, until, maybe, one day, you feel yourself REALLY burning with a desire to read something that doesn't exist. When it hits you its up to you to write it, maybe you will become a writer again.
>>43194501We think James wrote this.
>>43194516why is it we?
>>43194516Who is James
>>43194517>>43194526The person whom multiple individuals believe to have created this >>43194501 post. Duh!
>>43194445a witch in broad daylight
hey, what's the word on creating an alternate accounts for different styles or themes of stories where it's obvious you're the same author? allowed? frowned upon?
>>43194666Allowed and well accepted.
>>43194566Arwen
>>43194666Allowed. For example, having smut and vanilla account is good because one audience might be put off otherwise.
>>43194445Anon's Wife's Big Dick
>>43194501I think everything you've said about needing to make a thing that doesn't exist is true. I know nobody is going to satisfy my fetish exactly the way I want it done.However, now I'm paralyzed that I'll do it wrong, so I have to disagree that it's the only ingredient.
>>43195328I definitely wouldn't ever say it's the "only" ingredient, if you had your hands chopped off for example you'd have bigger fish to fry. Anyway, when anxieties are strong enough random internet comments won't help, but what I can say to you is that you shouldn't worry too much about doing it wrong. There's 2 powerful tools afforded to you:One, you can edit your old work endlessly. This can pose SOME difficulties in terms of keeping up continuity and maintaining the integrity of a work, such that it shouldn't be abused too much, but you really can just change stuff if you mess up. I know at least one extremely popular and beloved work that just paused for a few months to completely change the first like 500,000 words of the story to form a stronger base. It was a bit controversial but people overall liked it and the author was satisfied. There's never a point of no return for this stuff.Two, you can just try again. This is more common in other cultures but sometimes authors just retell the same story from the ground up while using their future knowledge to adjust how things go. These are more popular than you might imagine; fans of the old work like seeing the new take, while new fans can treat it as its own thing. You can try again as many times as you like. Overall I'd say there are enough ways to recover from doing something poorly that your biggest concern should be doing nothing at all. If you don't write anything, you'll never improve and never be in a position to do it right. You may also learn to appreciate something you write that's not perfect but still good enough to be satisfying in another way. At the end of the day, though, doing nothing will certainly always be easiest.
>>43194501This is often what gets me writing, wanting to read a story that I'm too lazy to look for or doesn't exist. I still write shit most of the time, but the inspiration is there at least. This thread is good at making me feel motivated about writing, too. Though it has the double edge of making me feel illiterate some times
Hpw many Victorian era novels should I read before I attempt to write a fic in the Victorian style?
>>43196190At least one more.
>>43196190Just force some children to work in your factory
Fics where little children are forced to work in factories?
>>43196265The Victorian era FiMfic that >>43196190 should read, TWOLOT.
>>43196284Don't you mean TMWOLOTM
>>43196288That's what I meant, but I meant to write what I wrote. I like the memetic letters more because they almost spell Twilight in a funny way.
>>43196288No, the rule is that you take out the title's most identifying words and make the acronym from everything else:The Mare Who Once Lived on the Moon-> The Who Once Lived on the-> TWOLOT
>>43196265One of the Rainbow Factory spin-offs, I'm sure.
it's up
>>43196312>ChileanInto the trash it goes
>>43196312Pooh's Adventures Ass Shit
>>43196297Where did they live again?
>start working on your deadfic again>it just doesn't feel as enthusiastic to write as the fetish fic>tfw the only way you can feel that high again is by writing the Dash fetish ideaI hate this.>>43194666Sockpuppets have long been allowed and accept. Only rule is you can't use them to upvote your other stories or shill them.
>>43196360he moon
>>43194633fuck that's even one of my favorite stories
>>43196400Do any of your fetishes overlap with mine at least? Can I try to give you new fetishes?>Only rule is you can't use them to upvote your other stories or shill themYou can, you just need to not get caught.
>>43196478It's still alive, it just updates slow.
>>43197089Last update was 7 months ago.
>>43197136That's quite slow.
>>43197136I had to wait five years for an update once, you're fine.
>>43197152Any day now.
>>43196190Just watch the clips from Star Trek Voyager.
>>43197346I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Even HiE writers.
Are subtle trollfics that are well written on the surface allowed on FIMFiction
>>43197628No.It's shit, or nothing.Subtlety is for losers.
>>43197628Sorry, the "Shining's Isekai Adventure" guy is running late.
>>43198060It was a yes/no question, not a fic recommendation question. But per your request, here's a link: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/500819
>>43198060I'm busy keeping three different /a/ threads bumped.
>>43198246Why?
>>43198557Because I like all three of the shows they're about and would rather carry them to the next episode for the two that are getting one.
AI scam, or run of the mill autism?The account is +5 years old with nothing to show for it.
>>43198801Profile pic is a scantily clad, busty human female. Do not engage.
>>43196785>Do any of your fetishes overlap with mine at least?Doubtful. Cartoon physics has few overlaps. Mind control has been wedging itself in with me as well, but it needs to be paired with some kind of cartoon physics thing. Dash becoming Twilight's athletic sex slave after mocking her for being a squishy unicorn just doesn't do anything on its own.>Can I try to give you new fetishes?Nah, I'm good. The ones I have are satiating enough.>>43197217>Secrets>tfw someone brings up your deadficHey, I'm still working on it, at least. That's more than can be said for most of them.>>43198801Standard Youtube autism. People doing bad Fimfic audiobooks has been a staple since the site's founding. We used to even have a thread voicefag before the guy had a paranoid schizo meltdown that Youtube was targeting him for being gay. You should be good.
>>43197152>>43197217>>43198828Oddly enough, I've seen like three 11+ year updates this year on FimFic and a I think several revived PonePaste stories. I wonder what entered the water. 2026 doesn't seem like a special year.
>>43198885hasbro gave more chinese companies licenses to make merch for g4, so it's spreading further. plus there was a big toyfair in china i believe this month?
>>43198828>Mind control has been wedging itself in with me as wellGood, good. As for cartoon physics, do bimbonies land somewhere close to that? How about goo/latex stuff? Body modification by way of an air pump or a 4th wall breaking pencil / mouse editing the character?
I think I am starting to give myself new and exiting mental issues from reading too much mlp fiction. Last week I hardly did any actual work at my job and just kept reading. My dreams are filled with nothing but pony stories and I am starting to really want to just escape reality.I am not going to stop tho, this reading binge has brought me more joy than anything else I have done in the last couple of years.
>>43199406Goddamn, son, welcome to 2010.
>>43199412no no, I remember my mental issues with ponies from back then quite clearly, these are new ones. I also had taken a break from anything pony related for a couple of years now, so that probably contributes.
>>43199406Masturbate immediately.
>>43199406I had a dream Sweetie Belle met God and God trapped her in an infinite corridor and told her to walk forward. She asked for a glass of something to drink and he just handed her a thing of Blue juice.Then she walked in the opposite direction and broke the infinite corridor.
>>43199406I've almost said pony words irl
>>43199729Fucking foals always breaking shit
>>43200128She's understimualted
>>43200168>stimulating foalsGo back to >>43115487
>>43199931I once saw someone write “everypony” in a non-pony Discord server. They edited it pretty quickly. I was tempted to start teasing them over it but didn’t want to reveal my own power level.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1139402/mini-fics-progress-updatesPosted a few little fics that were too small to post on fimfic proper.
>>43200426>he's scared about revealing his power level
>>43198801Me too, now. What'd you do?
>>43199406How do you find good stories on FIMFICTION?
>>43200899>there are good stories on Fimfiction
>>43198801>>43200880charge them 1$ per view they get on their video
>>43200981There are enjoyable stories at least
>>43199340>bimboniesNo, that's not really cartoony. Seems much more to be in the mind control realm.>goo/latexGenerally no (unless you're talking about melting), but compression/shape change does fit the theme of immobilization that's common in the latex/body suit stuff. Just a different implementation of it that focuses more on a fantasy contortion angle than the tactile "rubber" sensation. Freezing/asfr also has a heavy focus on the immobilization theme as well.>Body modificationOther than a shape change kind of thing, no. That's getting into TF territory which I'd consider to be entirely separate. The mention of the bike pump suggests inflation, but I'm thinking you're more envisioning a sort of hyper kind of thing which is much more in the TF camp.>>43200523>too small to post on fimfic properThis is why the anthology tag exists. Toss them together in one story to hit the 1K minimum.
>>43200899>>43201292I just filter by one or two tags that I feel like reading next, this has been mostly #romance + #(character) + #anon lately, and then check them out. Sometimes I sort by ratings or wordcount as well to find the more high effort stuff. Other than that I start reading and then quit a lot when I come across garbage.
>>43201434I was mostly thinking about something like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uu3RAz9GWs
Summoning spirits for fun and profit, in>/FSBC/I don't have a lot of time to write this, so the general observations have to come first. I can't, at a glance, determine which half was stronger, and the distribution of 'great' and 'okay' seems roughly similar to me. That said, what last week proved (and what I did not comment on; sorry about my disappearance) is that everyone liked a different set, so this only reinforces my theory that they all range from good to great, and preferences sort them more than some abstract measure of quality. However, one thing I don't remember from week 1 is the swearing. I'm of the opinion very few (possibly none) stories, pony or otherwise, ever get improved by including foul language, and doing that to a mostly fic with a mostly canon-appropriate framing device is especially jarring. And before you say, "What about the gore stories that they tell?" that is the premise of the story, silly, and not something that I see as "unpony" since these are very, very clearly marked as stories. Anyway, it's just a detail; ignore how many words I spent on it just now.But really, almost everything else is similar to week 1. I liked it quite a lot there, and I like it quite a lot now. Really nice horror fic, and underrated one at that. Also, the accents of neighponese culture are very neat. As for the ending, obviously the choice was between playing it straight for horror and doing this. I think the fic chose the "correct" ending given that it valued the "SoL ponyness" of the framing, but I kinda wish he went for the other option, though of course that would get A LOT more downboops on it. Oh, and there were two blatantly missed words in this week's section despite the overall comparatively high level of polish and strong prose structure. (1/2)
>>43202002(2/2)As for the stories, I have only one more minute until the deadline, so a quick ranking in order of appearance:Silver - #4. More adventure than horror, but the mystery was nice and the ending justified the genre.Timberwolf - #6. I so, so wanted to like this! The idea is good, but it just didn't quite work for me. I liked the dog story; clearly the problem wasn't it being too vague (it did imply strongly what happened), but I never really felt any 'horror' from it. Good banter in the scenes, though. Even this is a decent oneshot, which speaks well of the fic.Echoes - #7. It is vaguely unsettling, and the atmosphere in the first part is nice, but the non-resolution felt simply weak for me.MuscleJack - #8. Eh. More sad than horror? Maybe? But actually not really sad, either, so maybe drama? I think this was the weakest one from both weeks for me and the only one I didn't really find anything to like about.The Ear - #1. This one is just great! More direct horror than some of my other favorites, but it tells a complete story and fits very comfortably into horror, with both direct events and some "casual" chilling lines.Angels - #2-3. See the next one.Deer God - #2-3. They have different strengths, and if forced to pick, I think I'd choose the former, but I liked both of them quite a bit. In the [very] short story format, a single great moment is sometimes enough to sell the fic, and the appearance of the Angel was certainly that. But the mood of FS figuring out Ritzcracker in her cellar was pretty good, too.Finale - #5. Not so much an individual story as the payoff to the anthology. It was good, not great. If you wanted to make it great, you should go for the other ending, but people would rightfully complain about being misled regarding the whole fic. Perhaps you don't want to sacrifice that just to make this one land better. Perhaps you do.We don't have a next fic set yet and I'm already super late, so here are a few potential choices:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/37820/lines-and-webshttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/57463/twilight-sparkle-night-shifthttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/519321/sorry-we-missed-youhttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/86542/winds-of-changehttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/423769/the-hauntinghttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/6810/how-to-woo-your-lady-in-nine-easy-stepsI'll do better next week, I promise.
>>43202002>silveri don't have a lot to say about this one. the scene at the vet's was good, and i actually really appreciate the cliffhanger, but it takes a little longer than i'd like to get going. it's okay.>timberwolfanother one for the "more sad than scary" pile. i actually liked it quite a bit though. it's a cool twist on werewolves, vampires, zombies, and other monsters that turn people into more of themselves. the author's gotta be colorblind though. cloudchaser is not gray. and in this case, i think that genuinely harms the story, as the timberwolf turning into cloudchaser as she turns into it is a lot less obvious in a way it's not intended to be when the description of the half turned wolf gives the wrong color for the pony it's turning into. at first i thought it was a different pony (derpy maybe) who also got scratched by it turning into a timberwolf the same way that cloudchaser was.(1/3)
>>43202077>echosthere's pretty much zero story to this one. it's just kind of a list of things, and a stinger at the end that's almost relevent, but not quite. nothing about the story is actually mutually exclusive with, or even implies the absence of, ghosts or an afterlife. not to mention that>dude, what if when you die, there's just nothingis pretty much the psychological horror equivalent of a jumpscare. it's lazy horror. you could slap it in anything in any context and it'll get somebody. plus it feels kind of tacked on here, like the author couldn't think of a good way to end the story. probably because there wasn't much story to begin with. the only reason i think this probably isn't the case is that the banter at the end is almost entirely focused on it. and said banter acts like it's an immaculate payoff that plays into the chapter's themes perfectly; like the whole chapter was the same brand of low-effort existential horror; like that was what the chapter was logically building towards and not something that comes completely out of left field.if the last few paragraphs were removed i don't think anyone would be able to guess what the story was supposedly "about". that's how ill-fitting the ending is.however: the echos themselves more than save this chapter for me. what an absolutely fantastic horror concept; and executed so well too.and it's scary in such a unique way. it's not a fear of the present, or the future (no matter how much the stinger wants it to be), it's a fear of the past, and the dark secrets it holds that few are privy to.but in a way, fear isn't even the main thing the echos evoke. for me, it's almost wonder.all the echos have stories we only understand a part of. we don't know what drove the ponies who left the chair and knife echos to kill (themselves or otherwise). we don't know whether the author of the book echo successfully containted his desires in himself, or if he merely successfully contained the evidence of his deeds. the hallway echo betrays very little of its origin, and the statue still less, but it seemingly being so different from the other echos, and so mysterious makes it super interesting in its own way. i'm not even sure we can say it actually is long journey's echo.i kind of want more of this. just a list of objects that cause a minor sensory effect, and a powerful and specific emotion when interacted with in a certain way. forget the story, it doesn't need one. although i can easily see coming up with more interesting anomolies in this format difficult. still, i'm very happy with the eight echos we got. literally any one of them alone is better than the entirety of starlight's first story in this anthology.(2/3)
>>43202002>I'm of the opinion very few (possibly none) stories, pony or otherwise, ever get improved by including foul languageReally? Well, as Catcher in the Rye famously said: "Fuck you".
>>43202082>musclesthis isn't horror. the only thing about it that even slightly approaches horror is the gore, and even then, in every single instance, while the descriptions are enough to make you wince, they're exclusively sad and not scary every single time. that being said, this is still pretty good. it's not good as a horror story, but it's good.>earnow this is what i'm talking about. both the deep anomolous oppression of the first half, and the all out panic of the second are fantastic.this is definitely the most complete out of any of these stories. i can honestly imagine it as its own standalone fic. the only thing you have to do is cut out the banter at the end (which in this instance isn't even about the story itself), but i can see it being improved if it were a little longer.maybe have the ear wake up a day later, and we actually see what twilight's silent party is like, with the mane 6 still trying to enjoy themselves while under the ear's oppression. and there could be some minor foreshadowing that the ear's about to do something too.>angels>muh """biblically accurate""" angels meme>it's not even well done version of said memeactual garbage. basically zero redeeming qualities. this is a joke of a horror story, and i mean that 100% literally. there is absolutely nothing here you can't get from the literal memes this is based on.>gods>the most direct retread in the whole anthology>and it's of its worst chapteryup. this is very similar to the last chapter in many ways, including quality.while there actually is stuff here not directly copy pasted from internet memes, it's still garbage.the best part of this chapter is just the mane 6 talking about gods, but besides being obvious padding in a story that desperately needs something actually concrete, the conversations are really just okay.mystery is extremely useful in horror, the majority of chapters in this anthology have at least one major element go completely unexplained. but there's a difference between the antagonist of your horror story being mysterious, and the antagonist of your horror story straight up not having motivations. the god does random things for no reason, and that is the beginning and end of his character. consequently, the stakes of the story begin and end at "something bad".turns out, when you make the antagonist of your story intentionally incomprehensible, it just ends up making the story itself incomprehensible. who could have guessed.>leylinesi was waiting for this fic to get finally get meta. i was hoping from the start that this is what the post-story banter was leading up to, and it didn't disappoint too much. i think it being just an act was a mistake however. it should have been real, and kept going for just a teensy bit longer. not bad though.(3/4. didn't realise this section went slightly over the limit.)
>>43202090over all, this fic was quite the mixed bag. this anthology had both some of the best, and some of the worst short horror stories i've read.and for my complete ranking of every chapter:letters=echos=ear>dog>mirror>tickle>timberwolf>muscles>ghosts>leylines>silver>forest>zombies>hat>gods>angels(4/4)>>43202004i vote winds of change. i know>what if x character was a changelingis a somewhat trite premise, but it's a premise i haven't really interacted with at all, and this fic seems the most interesting out of those options.
>>43202004>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/37820/lines-and-websFeels more appropriate for the other club just because of its length: 161k plus a 231k sequel. We could stop after the first one instead of committing to all 392k. But the first sentence of the long description misspells "Changling" so I'm inclined to say no.>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/57463/twilight-sparkle-night-shiftNominally a sequel to Monsters, which the club read in September 2023. (I remember many objections to the foal punting, though I think overall sentiment tended to be favorable?) Given the nearly thousand year time gap between the two, I can't imagine that reading the first one is actually necessary.>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/519321/sorry-we-missed-youI know nothing about this, but I'm not sure I trust someone whose output seems to be mostly anthro porn.>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/86542/winds-of-changeCould be okay.>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/423769/the-hauntingI can read Admiral Biscuit in small doses, but I don't think I could make it through a full-length story of his. Unless it's a much different style from his usual one. But #human #romance? Sus, as the kids would say these days.>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/6810/how-to-woo-your-lady-in-nine-easy-stepsSparity romcom? I don't think that's for me.I think this means I vote Night Shift or Winds of Change. Not sure I have a preference between those.
>>43202002Holy Mother Faust.I always go back and forth on if this is cool or cringe. I liked how it was (over)used in this story.Anyway, I liked the second batch of stories more than the first one. I think Timberwolf and the angel/god ones were my favourites, but the Ear one was the best structurally speaking.Anyway, to give a short summary of each:>SilverHalfway through I imagined this would turn into a Little Shop of Horrors situation, but it just de-escalated after the vet scene. Cool, and had potential, but it just sorta fizzes out.>TimberwolfAmazing idea. Great execution. For the most part. Honestly, I think this just needed a round of polish and punching up the last scene between Cloudchaser and the timberwolf, and it could've been great.I wonder what happened to the original Cloudchaser. Is she just going around the Everfree?>EchoesProbably the most basic form of a horror story. I enjoyed the format, and Celestia's little speech is pretty good. There's not much else to say, though. It's really just a "think of this concept, ain't it creepy?" story.>SwoleI don't think this ever committed to the horror. It could've gone places. Perhaps AJ starts losing her equinity as she feels she has less control over her body and goes from feeling she's not good enough for society, to fitting in, and then back to being an outcast. Potential for some creepy body horror, but it dropped the ball.>EarI love it when something just HAPPENS. No explanation. No foreshadowing. Boom. You've got to deal with this scenario now.It managed to do a lot of world building in the first half. It's quite commendable. And it didn't drop the ball, either! The Ear's basic mechanics are described, a loophole is maybe found, and they go all the way with it. Probably the best of the bunch.>yore devil or yore angleI liked this one. Just like the echoes one, this presents and idea and lets you stew on the implications. Also, who would've thought it was that easy to communicate with higher beings? Just drag some clouds together, bro. Just chilling enough to be rated high, and just long enough to make it effective.>GodI want to write a full story based on this premise. I liked how the theological talks build up to God's reveal. Also, was every mention of "He" really in bold. or was that just my screen?I suppose this loses a few points because the coolest part is just kept as a short summary that Fluttershy thinks about near the end, but I liked this one very much.>LeylinesI liked the bait and switch about the true intentions of the kaidan. I think spending all night reading in bed and reaching this part really helped sell it to me.And the next b&s was a really nice way of tying it together in a very pony way.I've got to say, it's one of my comfiest reading experiences in the club lately.>>43202096Seconding this. Why not.
So when is anon going to drop what he uses Abbrevs for?
>>43200523>Tuna ficThis is based off the thing with Luna's moon miscarriage isn't it. Isn't it?
>>43202220>>43202077This is what I'm talking about. Both of (You)r posts read like something that could be true, but several of the opinions are different. It's so rare for the club's opinions to be so all over the place. It's very interesting. But it also makes discussion harder other than "I disagree about x".>>43202077>turning into cloudchaser as she turns into it is a lot less obviousYeah, I also had this issue with it, but what comes after gives you way more than enough clues to fix author's color error. For me, it really lacked one more scene somewhere around that part, though.>>43202082>Echoes>however: the echos themselves more than save this chapter for me.You say this here, I say something similar about angels. But here, it wasn't quite enough to justify this story. I agree that the concept is solid, but the fumbled finale negatively impacted my opinion of the story. It would've been better if those paragraphs weren't there at all, especially with the banter that you mention.>>43202087Yes, really. A few f-bombs in stories felt good, but even in those cases, I think the scene could've been told better without them. I can think of some character ideas that would perhaps need profanity for authenticity, but even then, I'm not sure it'd work out well.>>43202090>it's not good as a horror story, but it's good.Eh. It is sad, but it is also so much worse than, say, the Ghost story with DT from week 1, and that one was actually thematically horror, too.>basically zero redeeming qualitiesWrong. The "angel's" appearance after RD's flight was a good moment and a good, unsettling visual. The story is just this one visual, but I liked it for it.>very similar to the last chapter in many ways, including quality.kek, but I would agree (in disagreeing still)>being just an act was a mistakeLike I said in the post, it's a tradeoff. The fic is insanely less pony with it being real, but the final story would be better that way. I would also prefer for it to be real, but most people would not, and it would get 20+ dislikes instead of just one. I don't think it matters, but perhaps the author disagrees here.And it cannot be wrong to lean on writing something to be more pony.>>43202096>had both some of the best, and some of the worst short horror stories i've readI agree but I strongly disagree with ~50% of your rating, which, again, feels very interesting to say.>>43202220Honestly, my opinions are way more in line with yours, so I don't have much to comment. I like that everyone can see that the Ear was best.>just needed a round of polish and punching up the last scene between Cloudchaser and the timberwolf,Yeah, exactly! It was really missing that scene for me, too!>original CloudchaserAre you assuming her wolfsona made it out of there alive?>>yore devil or yore angleGlad to see someone else liked it.>was every mention of "He" really in boldIt was. I'm torn on this decision. I don't think it added much.
>>43202220>I wonder what happened to the original Cloudchaser. Is she just going around the Everfree?twilight killed her.
>>43202261That image haunts these threads like Luna's stillborn foal haunts her dreams.
>>43202002>an entire story just to justify why aj can't win against rdfucking kek "Doctor, remove my muscle inhibitors.">"and until they discovered how to make the Ear go away, they had to live with it."Do they though? I'd be long gone if somepony got decapitatedrd meets an angelkinda kino>Last story is Twi using the elements to curse existenceI thought for sure Luna would've shown up at the end considering it was her idea and she foreshadowed some sort of climax at the end but instead we get discord for some reason. I really don't have much to say about the fic as a whole though. A fun little read but not much more. Seems like half the fics were just SCP ideas by the end. Am I gonna rate each candle? No, I don't care enough. And I'm still not entirely sure why, or even if, we are really hearing the stories at all or some weird ponyville centered version of them via the narrator.>>43202002>As for the ending, obviously the choice was between playing it straight for horror and doing this. I think the fic chose the "correct" ending given that it valued the "SoL ponyness" of the framing, but I kinda wish he went for the other option, thoughgoing with Luna instead of Discord could've done this for sure. She could just sent them to a waking nightmare or something and she could've not had anypony in on it (which again is where I thought the fic was going ever since like the 1st chapter when Luna suggests the game)>angel and deer god 2-3Angels was definitely better
>>43202077It is a shame the timberwolf story didn't do more with its body horror.I would've liked to see at least one glimpse of the clouchaser-turned-timberwolf maybe stalking the edges of the Everfree trying to get a glimpse of Flitter before going back into the forest.>>43202082The echoes are a great concept, and I would read the story you describe there. A shame I don't think I've come across one that does it.>>43202090The AJ one could've easily become body horror. It would've been awesome. All the elements were there. It just didn't commit.And yeah, the ear one was great. I like that its defeat was final. It even came at the cost of Pinkie going deaf. I would've liked to see some of the failed attempts, though.I'm kinda sad we disagree so diametrically on those two. I thought the angel one was a tad one-note, but I liked Dash's progression through the story.I still liked God a lot, though. It does suffer from us not experiencing Fluttershy's discovery and it subsequent end times that get thwarted by her.I would really like to read a fully fleshed out story of this exact concept. Maybe I'll write it one day.I don't know about the ending. On the one hand, I would've liked to have a full horror bow to tie it all together. On the other, every chapter has been a horror story that gets brought back to reality by ponies being ponies, so I think it's fitting to have it all harken back to silly ponies being silly.
>>43202090>actual garbage. there is absolutely nothing here you can't get from the literal memes this is based on.What does this even mean? Are there irl memes of RD meeting a pony angel or like in equestria memes. Or do you just mean the appearance of the angel? Why read anything when you can just look at memes if that's the case? Weird take>>43202196>But the first sentence of the long description misspells "Changling"kek, he's just a chinese ling>>43202264>And it cannot be wrong to lean on writing something to be more pony.based and correct>>43202286>I would've liked to see some of the failed attempts, though.>Caramel on the ground in 8 different pieces.jpg
>>43202264>It would've been better if those paragraphs weren't there at allagreed. after reading it, i thought about better ways it could have ended instead, and i came up with one i liked where one day, twilight just stops perceiving echos, and is left wondering whether something about her changed, or if all the echos themselves just suddenly disappeared. it probably wouldn't be a perfect ending, but i think it'd fit in a lot more with the rest of the chapter's more mysterious horror that leaves you wondering more than anything.>Wrong. The "angel's" appearance after RD's flight was a good moment and a good, unsettling visual.it's a fine enough visual but nothing you haven't seen before. it's not really different than any other hyper-colossal creature, which is a visual i think works a lot better with uh, visuals, in the first place.>>43202282>And I'm still not entirely sure why, or even if, we are really hearing the stories at all or some weird ponyville centered version of them via the narrator.we definitely are. even with the ones that you'd think would rely on canon characters the most, like letters, the banter at the end always refers to the characters by generic names, like "the mare". as for why, probably because the author wanted the stories to be about canon characters, but with this framing device, it'd be kind of weird if the characters were telling these stories about themselves and ponies they knew.>>43202286>I would've liked to see at least one glimpse of the clouchaser-turned-timberwolf maybe stalking the edges of the Everfree trying to get a glimpse of Flitter before going back into the forest.anon, she's dead.>I would really like to read a fully fleshed out story of this exact concept.i think fleshing it out could save it. just give some impression of the god's goals or motivation and you're most of the way there.>fluttershy is forced into being the servant of a malevolent diety that lives in her basementis a great idea for a horror story. i just think it was executed really badly here by putting all its eggs in the "incomprehensible" basket.>>43202320>What does this even mean?just the general "biblically accurate angel" memes that were popular a while back. it really adds nothing to the concept of>what if angels were liek, all scary lookin an stuffother than a half decent description of an enourmous being, which as stated earlier, is also hardly a novel concept.
>>43202002>I can't, at a glance, determine which half was strongerI can. The first half was definitely stronger on average, the stories in this one generally got kind of middling, or maybe focused on the kinds of horror that is less effective for me. I think the commentary got better though, probably because Starlight stopped trying to dumb the stories down to a singular subject matter. >CocoStarted off promising with an unusual monster with unknown motives, devolved into essentially a prolonged chase scene, which I'm not usually a fan of, because it's really difficult to convey something even close to the appropriate levels of intensity and adrenalin in fiction. Probably the most straightforward "and then the spooky monster started killing everyone" story in the anthology, and thus pretty boring fo rme.>TimberwolfKinda drags on with the search for the cure/search for the timberwolf where nothing scary is happening. But the two body horror moment in the middle and the climax are pretty effective. I appreciate getting to know the connection between the characters through the banter (which is important for the ending), this one probably does it better than any story in the anthology. The ending is nice. The fact that the not!Cloudchaser doesn't act creepy or unusual elevates this to a more abstract horror where there's a temptation to forget your real dead lover in favor of a soulless replica and even a reasonable argument to be made for it.>EchoesProbably my favorite this week. It's really sold by its writing, the format and the imagery gripped me immediately. I wish this one was just a bit longer. It very much feels like a classic 4chan creepypasta from the 2000s: a series of creepy mysterious anomalies with barely any explanation and a wham line at the end that hints at a broader existential horror. Seriously, I mean it, it's pretty much a by-the-book old school creepypasta.(cont.)
>>43202346>BNHAInteresting that both Pinkie's stories are about being uncomfortable in your own body. What does that say about her? Definitely not as good as the Cheerilee story. The premise is similarly unnerving, and the tension when AJ is trying to reach the upper shelf is really well-done, but there's barely any horror once she grows up. The twist that her condition made her hurt someone else for once is nice, but the story doesn't really linger on the guilt and, well, the horror of that. The "huh wtf" reaction we get instead is almost comical.>The EarDefinitely better than Rarity's first story. The despair of the situation is really well-conveyed, with each sound (and subsequent death and injury) adding to the tension. I'd say it's also better than RD's first story, because, while both feature an MC who fights back, this one wraps it into a proper dramatic structure: setting the stage, rising tension, and climax+heroic resolution by Pinkie. If you really, really toned the violence down, you could make it into an episode even. The only thing I don't like is that it doesn't take the opportunity to describe how unpleasant it might be to lose your hearing, Pinkie just rolls with it.>AngelsRight, this fic was written around the time the internet latched onto "le biblically accurate angel" meme, while being ignorant that most angels were not, in fact, described as monstrous. To this one's credit, it does not jump on "le eyes on wheels" bandwagon and tries to imagine its own rendition of an angel. Even if it's a bit basic, the macrophobia aspect salvages it. (cont.)
>>43202349>Deer godI mean, this one doesn't really have a story. More of a vignette that pretty much ends once the conflict is established. But it kinda has to be that way, since Fluttershy defeating the DG would've been satisfying but ruined his mystique. The deer god is ominous, but not very creepy (I don't share the author's fear of antlers). M6's thoughts on deities make this less of a slog than it otherwise would've been. Weird that AJ of all people is the one telling this.>Audience participationNot really a proper story, but a good way to end the fic. I enjoyed how it got meta and bled into reality, put you on an edge for a moment, then delivered the punchline. Twilight teaming up with Discord to prank the others is basedRanking the stories from this part:Echoes > Ear > Timberwolf > BNHA > Coco > Angels > Deer godRanking the stories overall:Cheerilee > Tartarus letters > Echoes > Ear > Flim's hat > Mirror ghost > Forest > Dog > Appleloosa zombies > Timberwolf > Filthy Rich > BNHA > Coco > Angels > Deer godOverall, that was a good anthology of short horrors with a neat framing device, I'll probably upboop it. I think more could've been done with the commentary and what the stories reflect about each character, if the latter was more pronounced it could've elevated the fic from good to great. We should read the other anthology sometime>>43202004>Lines and WebsEvil Celestia conspiracy from 2012? I guess I wouldn't mind trying this one, length aside.>Night ShiftI think JawJoe's pretty overrated, and I remember hearing he's not even proud of this one himself. But the monster hunter Twilight premise is too cool to pass up.>Sorry We Missed YouRD left behind by the whole world? Damn, another interesting option. And not too long, either.>Winds of ChangeAnother what if X is changeling, not awfully interested in this one>Haunting>[Human]Bruh>How to WooEeeeh... A tropey 2012 Sparity fic? Maybe someday, probably not today.Votan for Night Shift
>>43202004>Winds of ChangeAlways hits me with the Scorpions.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4RjJKxsamQ
>>43202261It's inspired by a lot of things.
>>43202002Starting with the stories,>Coco's threadLumping this one in with the other body horror fics, this one seemed the best of them because it seems to be the kind of dangerous magical beast that ponies could plausibly find and be threatened by in Equestria, whether it came from a lab experiment or the Everfree. It was engaging to see this horrible little thing roll around until (after it was described as warm) it inevitably ended up inside some poor hapless victim.>Cloudchaser's swap and musclejackTrash. Never even seemed like a horror fic, just some characters being tormented.>Twilight's ghostsLike >>43202082, I think this had the most potential out of any of the short stories. Not by this author, but I would definitely have liked to read a real story on this premise. The first of them I wish was longer.>EarUnlike >>43202090, I don't think this is worth expanding. The initial mystery was engaging, what the hell happened to Ponyville? After reading about the tree monster, my interest waned. I don't think you can get anything out of this premise because it ignores the option of just evacuating Ponyville and nuking it from orbit.>Rainbow's angelIt's like the idea of a story sketched on a napkin and nothing else.>Fluttershy's godThis one was significantly more creative than the others, more things happened, more interesting implications.Now as for the story's framing device and Twilight's hijack of it, I don't think it delivered. Mostly, the idea of Twilight force-juicing her friends served only to remind me of how bad Sharing the Night is. Otherwise, it's just another "whatever" concept to throw on the pile of crappy stories the fic is comprised of.The whole point of the fic being to present a great variety of horror I appreciate. However, almost all of the stories in it are between bad and forgettable. Although I hated the fic, I don't feel like it deserves a downvote both because it's an M6 fic with Spike properly disposed of and because it did actually achieve its goal of showing to me that body horror can work (probably better) in written form than visual.That being said, >not something that I see as "unpony" since these are very, very clearly marked as storiesThis fic scores very poorly on the ponyness rating. Most of the stories are unpony, many of them (like Flam's bowler) seem like a totally generic short story and I'd say less than a quarter are well grounded in the setting (like Zecora and Applebloom's trek).
>>43202282>I'd be long gone if somepony got decapitatedYou do have to suspend your disbelief with some horror stories. Also famous as the "writing a journal while Cthulhu chomps on my ankles" syndrome. But I also had this thought. It's one thing if you got cut from you saying stuff, but the fact you can get killed due to some random guy slipping on the street next to your window makes it crazy to stay.>some weird ponyville centered version of themThis makes no sense and seems to contradict the plot in spots, but yes, we are not hearing what the M6 are saying. Their are like the dog story, I imagine. The final story is weirder because of that.>>43202345>i thought about better ways it could have ended insteadYou could convince me to like the story/stories you're presenting here, but for me, the fact that the actual story fails so hard there kind of kills it despite the idea of these echoes being neat.>nothing you haven't seen beforeTrue, but while the idea is nothing new, the tension of RD looking for one and then running into this monster worked pretty well for me. And I'd disagree on the 'visual' comment. IMO visual imagery for non-realistic objects or creatures usually works so, so much better in text compared to any kind of visual media.>some impression of the god's goals or motivationBut you can't overdo that. The creature being incomprehensible and probably malevolent but not in the way that we can easily parse definitely makes for a lot of its eeriness. And you can criticize that for being cheap or whatever, but these stories are mostly based on a single idea. "FS has an incomprehensible god move in" is a good pitch for a story this short.>>43202346>Probably the most straightforwardThe killing/chase at the end was only okay, but unlike some of the other anons, I like the mystery aspect of learning what is this weird chineese tribble. Moments when you see it go off on its own or when you see it devouring sharp objects for the first time are good.>this one probably does it better than any story in the anthologyAgreed. Most others don't need it, but the banter here was good, and the ending was almost there for me. I'd also push back against "soulless replica". It's """only""" a monstrous replica. As for what it is now, I think a lot depends on if it's telling the truth about its memories. For the record, not killing it was 100% correct, imo, but anything more than that is shaky.>a series of creepy mysterious anomalies with barely any explanation and a wham line at the end that hints at a broader existential horrorI'd like to cosign this take, but 'the wham line' is a wet noodle and fails the fic's potential.>>43202349>What does that say about her?There was an attempt to have the stories make sense for the character who tells each of them, but that's not a very well-explored angle in the fic. Maybe the idea is there, and you could spend some time on it, but it didn't seem like the fic cared much, so why would I?
Don't forget to update your résumé. It's some writing you can do to take a break from writing.
>>43202354>The deer god is ominous, but not very creepyI liked how you get to progressively see more and more of its capabilities. Escaping the cellar, messing up reality, mind control, etc. It was good in presenting that otherworldly creature, and the framing of FS trying to understand what cannon be understood is good, too. After a few hours, I think I'd solidly put it in #2 after the Ear when it comes to weak 2. Leaving it in literal last place feels completely crazy to me, or in other words, proves the theory that they're all good-to-great oneshots and everyone just has some sub-genres or styles they like or dislike. I wouldn't say that the ones I'd put last (Zombies and Echoes) are bad, either. I did put this fic onto my Favorites shelf, but I'll concede that the commentary and in-character motivations aren't as developed as they could've been. I just think that the horror anthology gets a lot of points for competently telling so many different sub-genres of horror in such an effective way.>>43202632>it inevitably ended up inside some poor hapless victimYeah, I agree that the 'action' part of the story was a lot worse than the buildup here.>I would definitely have liked to read a real story on this premiseI can see it! It's just so completely not what was in the actual story. I can give fics bonus points for ambition or attempting something that didn't quite work, but I'm not rating on "this could've been good if it was written like that instead".>it ignores the option of just evacuating PonyvilleWhich is fine for a short story, but you'd need some explanation if you wanted to make it a longer fic, yeah. It could be done, but it'd be a different fic. I liked the one we got quite a lot, though.>idea of a story sketched on a napkinIndeed, but a decent sketch. It wouldn't work for anything longer than this, and it doesn't try to.>the idea of Twilight force-juicing her friendsIMO the actual events that are presented in the resolution could be better, but the payoff to the fic's framing device takes the center stage and I liked it well enough even with the middling concept. In other words, what was done with the mirror and the stories mattered less than the fact that Twi did something with it after all.>scores very poorly on the ponyness ratingA few are quite unpony, and some are fairly generic, but none of them really crossed the line for in-universe horror stories. The hat was probably pushing it the most given that it's a pony who does it, but even then, it's Flam, not a regular pony, so it's not so egregious.
>>43202004I'm going to nominate The Monster Mash because I read it after Kaidan and it's way, way better than Kaidan. Both because it's more pony in general, and because Luna is in the first chapter. And thirdly because all of the stories have substance. Also, it's not a horror fic, so don't try to save it for October. Only the Apple herd qualifies as horror genre, unless you are being unnecessarily generous to the final chapter.Also, even as unimpressive as I thought it was, Luna's Librarian, Twilight's Moon still has better stories in it than both, even if it also has worse. In the past few months, the quality floor of the club has dropped enough to warrant it.It feels weird that I never >reviewed Twilight Sparkle: Night Shift, but I did downvote it. The amount of it I did read I compared disfavorably to Monsters in >>40286995. The standout characteristics of the fic were the TikTok pacing and poor characterization. All the ponies are harried and angry, especially Luna, who is a Shakespearicles-tier one-note bitch. Most of the fic revolves around set piece fights. It would make for a better shounen slop than fic, maybe. You should never consider this fic a better option than continuing the Alicorn Adventures series.Are the [Human], [Spike] fics there just to make the others look better?Sorry We Missed You continues to be the most interesting of the bunch here. Dashling could be by virtue of being short, but I've yet to see a Dash demonstrate that she can carry a story.>>43202346>The fact that the not!Cloudchaser doesn't act creepy or unusual elevates this to a more abstract horrorThat is a bit of credit I forgot to give it, yeah. It was better than the Apple chapter in that way.I'll go further than >>43202653, though, about the story assignments, and call out the author as having composed the list of stories first and then assigned them to the sleepover ponies using dice. Only the final candle had a link to the pony telling it.>>43202695>the 'action' part of the story was a lot worse than the buildupYeah, I meant to emphasize more that I liked the mystery of it rolling around.>a decent sketchI'm with the Discordflag on this one. It didn't add anything to the funny wheel pictures, and I regret the extra time it took to read the story over looking at one of those.
>>43202002The way this story ended was really cool. The candles seemed like they kept trying to be more thought provoking than scary which was a trend continuing from last week. That's kind of said explicitly at the end when Twilight talks about how horror is a broad genre but I can't help but feel a lot of the stories were missing the essence of horror. It's probably because they just weren't very scary. The author was starting to reuse ideas like the body horror and legs falling apart but the timberwolf story and the forest god story weren't as gross as the Cheerilee story so it's alright. There were lots of themes about divine creatures and the afterlife this week. There was the Diamond Tiara story last week, but it wasn't as I guess religious as this week's stories. The one about angels might have been my favorite even though it wasn't scary, because it was like cosmic horror somehow and felt more mysterious as well as not really resolving the problem. Maybe leaving more up to the imagination is the key to making a good horror story. >Also, the accents of neighponese culture are very neatYea it was cool seeing how the kaidan party was actually the premise of the last candle and it was all planned in advance by Twilight. Kind of funny that Rarity and Discord were also involved. I was really fooled along with the rest of the ponies. >>43202004>The Ear - #1Like I said above I didn't like the stories with tidy resolutions like this one. Not really tidy because everypony in Ponyville is now deaf, but the ear tree is now gone. It felt like more action towards the end, like the Moondancer one last week. >Finale - #5And part of what's interesting about this one is that it leaves it unresolved whether the legend of the kaidan is actually true and if the spirits really would have escaped if Twilight had told a normal story.
>>43202082>and it's scary in such a unique way. it's not a fear of the present, or the future (no matter how much the stinger wants it to be), it's a fear of the pastYea definitely it was scary and kind of tragic how Twilight had to stop using the chairs or knives because she was afraid of stumbling across an echo. It was a good way of blending horror with the emotional themes the rest of the candles try to touch on. I think you're more excited about it than me though haha. >>43202090>actual garbage. basically zero redeeming qualities. this is a joke of a horror story, and i mean that 100% literally.Really? I thought it was poignant in a Bridge to Terebithia way, how death comes up very suddenly and children have different ways of interacting with it with little fantasies. The twist that the fantasy is actually real feels like classic horror vibes. >>43202220>a loophole is maybe foundUh huh and the best part of the loophole is that making everypony deaf is creepy and horrible by itself. >>43202282>>an entire story just to justify why aj can't win against rd>fucking kek "Doctor, remove my muscle inhibitors."Hey Rainbow was totally cheating and AJ deserved to win. >>43202345>it's a fine enough visual but nothing you haven't seen before. it's not really different than any other hyper-colossal creaturePart of the angel visual that people might be missing is that the story only vaguely implies that the angels are even pony shaped. It talks about the 6 wings and the gown but leaves it unrevealed if they even look like the dead ponies that the living ponies want to meet and actually seeing an angel is severely traumatic for anypony who does.
>>43202354>I mean, this one doesn't really have a story. More of a vignette that pretty much ends once the conflict is established.I appreciated how there were flashbacks and nonlinear storytelling in this so I would not call it low effort by the author but yup still not much of a story I guess. >I enjoyed how it got meta and bled into reality, put you on an edge for a moment, then delivered the punchline.Yea it was freaky. >>43202632>I don't think you can get anything out of this premise because it ignores the option of just evacuating PonyvilleThat's a similar problem in most horror stories and I wonder why the author didn't write in some kind of reason they couldn't leave. They wrote a reason for why Moondancer couldn't escape her house after all and the big forest god followed Fluttershy home, and she also had to give up her body to it. >Although I hated the ficThat's wild bro. >>43202695>I liked how you get to progressively see more and more of its capabilities.Yea my favorite part of that story was the reveal that Fluttershy's perspective was from after her friends offered their legs and then had their memories erased, so only Fluttershy remembers and keeps looking at their legs in the present. The forest god is almost kind of friendly at first or at least not threatening until you understand what actually happened.
>>43202827>everypony in Ponyville is now deaf>>43202862>making everypony deaftwilight didn't deafen all of ponyville, only pinkie pie.
>>43203311See, if she had deafened everypony to begin with, nopony would have gotten hurt otherwise. Yet another example of Twilight being the cause of everything wrong in the world.
>>43203466Someone should really put that bitch in time out
>>43203466Ah, but remember, it was never Twilight or Pinkie and it wasn't even in ponyville either
>>43202805As the apparent tiebreaker, I now have to load Winds of Change onto my e-reader...
>>43202077>cloudchaser is not grayEh, I can see it. I'd probably call it "light purple" myself, though.>>43202196>I can't imagine that reading the first one is actually necessaryIt's not. There's zero connection between the two stories. I don't even know why he set them in the same continuity as that actually hurts Monsters given its portrayal of NMM is directly contrary to the "canon" one Night Shift follows.>>43202232Given he's pregnancy anon, I assume it's for stuff like "pregnancy", "gestation", "swollen belly", "tender, sore teats", etc.
>>43204121>ponybooru's last remaining user, 2026 colorized
So what's the next clubfic?
>>43202805>never consider this fic a better option than continuing the Alicorn Adventures seriesPossible, perhaps even very likely, but I had this marked as a standalone story (which got confirmed by multireply anon just this thread). It's hard to throw part 3 of a longfic series onto the club reading pile. Consider that Daetrin's trilogy, which is in contention for the best ponyfic adventure, had middling attendance for fic#3, and even killed filly.>[Human], [Spike] fics there just to make the others look betterThe Spikefic is one of the last finished fics from the Old Starter Kit that we could read and still haven't. Surely it got there for a reason. And as for the HiE, I am not a fan of AB's style, but he's a decently 'respectable' author and I could see him making the genre work. Plus, ghostmares are cool.>>43204174Winds of Change.And it's once again the pesky 40-50k word range, where we COULD read it in one week but could also split it in half. I'd prefer reading it over two weeks, and it divides cleanly in half when doing Prologue-ch.8 / ch.9-Epilogue, but if enough people prefer to oneshot it, we can do that, too.
>>43204274I say half and a half.
How come fic updates don't give me a little pop-up
>>43204274>And it's once again the pesky 40-50k word range,wait since when did we get worse at reading? I was already surprised this club when getting through 8 candles didnt take any time at all, I thought candle 8 was going to be a mega story kekthat said I do think 2 clubs is almost always better than 1, having a club before finishing is just a better experience I think, otherwise people are just sort of posting reviews and there's less discussion and speculation
>>43204554>since when did we get worse at reading?We're not getting any younger, Anon.
>>43204554Rariflag complained endlessly about not budgeting time to read, then was always padding out the anchor with apologies about how late it was until finally he started assigning 20-30k reading blocks instead of 40-60k and then suddenly a bunch more people joined the club so it turned out to be a good idea and we're sticking with it.It was probably about three or four months ago.
Does Equestria sell Premium Bonds?
>>43204677My wife is adorable!
How would you go about writing pony fight scenes? They're quadrupeds, so I am curious about not making them stand on their hindlegs to fight.
>hm, I wonder if a fic for this very specific fetish exists that isn’t dogshit>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/343844/an-unlikely-symbiosis>well what do you know
>>43204844Bucking ain't just a minced oath, and biting's more than a way to describe critique.
>>43204844Kind of a tricky question because horses literally stand on their hindlegs to fight.You could try and get them to hop around one another to land back bucks but for the most part they literally just do that gay frontleg slap fight
>>43204844Real horse fights have a surprising amount of biting at the neck and running around. They do also rear up and slap fight a bit. I'm sure there's some good reason for those aspects, but to me it seems like most of the damage comes from a horse trying to bite the other getting absolutely blasted in the side/face by a buck.Best bet for making pony fights interesting is to lean hard into tribe specific approaches. Mage duels, pegasus strafing runs, etc.
>>43204815No, like most mares, she’s not for sale. Don’t worry, though, I’m sure Rarity can find time for you.
>>43204907>tribe
>>43205388>Tribes: Ascend
>>43204844The rearing slap fight seems like a good way to start a fight. Kind of like us starting off with shoves and squaring up.I really don't like the idea of sapient creatures biting unless they're desperate. I know ponies use their mouths for a lot, but that's got to cross a line that most decent ponies wouldn't dare.What about hit and run tactics? Both ponies trying to land and dodge bucks. Or headbutts.It also gives you a lot of room to throw in dialogue and control the tempo of a scene.
>>43204907>>43205480Now I’m picturing ponies fighting like the Flash or some goofy Tron skirmishing.
>>43205671Tron is how the unicorns fight. It's why nobody takes them seriously
I've been reading Nine Days Down (celestia gets stuck in tartarus with twilight and has to protect her while they escape) and the _______________kiss cliffhanger went from an "oh shit!" moment that genuinely had me on the edge of my seat to perhaps the most disappointing lowering of stakes I've ever personally read. The story really feels like it shifts tonally from that moment and I no longer care to read far enough to see if it's only temporary. It's a shame, I was quite enjoying it before.
>>43205715The author getting cold feet on the Twilestia was extremely disappointing, yes, but there's still lots of great Luna scenes worth reading. You shouldn't drop it until Twilight escapes Tartarus.
>>43205715The club read this one. See >>40106630. My memory is (1) Pretend that scene didn't happen, because that's what the author does, and (2) The extra epilogue drags the whole thing down, and you should ignore it.
>>43204844If it's a "real" melee fight, I usually have them try to tackle each other so they can grapple to pin/stomp/trample on the opponent. Bucking's only in play if the positioning's right and would obviously try to be avoided. You have to rethink things a little when pegasi/bats/unicorns are involved, though.I usually go with the standard fighting headcanons. Pegasi are lighter, have less stamina, and can't tank well, but are very nimble and agile. Earth ponies tank and can withstand a beating, but are slower and less agile. Unicorns are squishy and can't do melee at all but are so OP with range that they practically win melee by default. Bats are in between pegasi and earth ponies.>>43205388>During this frightful age, each of the three tribes – the Pegasi, the unicorns, and the Earth ponies – cared not for what befell the other tribesCanon could not be any clearer if it tried.>>43205480>Both ponies trying to land and dodge bucks.I don't see that blocking well. You have to turn around to buck and that makes it very awkward to pull off in a fight. They'd have to run at the opponent, then do a 180, plant the forelegs, and do the kick. It just feels too slow and easy to avoid to even bother attempting unless you've already blocked in some pre-attack sequence to slow the opponent down first.
>>43205757I wrote a fight scene that includes a buck, but it needed setup. It was two-on-one by then, and the solo fighter had been knocked down. When he tried to get up, one of his opponents bucked him. I couldn't think of any other time during that fight when bucking made sense.I watched some clips of wild horses fighting from nature documentaries, and they did buck, but not a lot. Usually they didn't have enough space and time to set up. Even if they did, often they missed. It was almost exactly like a human's backwards martial arts kick: A big, powerful move that you can't aim well and usually can't use.
>>43205757>Canon could not be any clearer if it tried.i agree. literally every single instance of the word tribe in the show refers to the three ancient tribes that existed prior to the founding of equestria; not all unicorns, earth ponies, or pegasi. the three tribes haven't existed for well over a thousand years by the time the show takes place, hence why there is not a single instance of ponies refering to modern ponies as beloning to a tribe.
>>43205885The seldom used but officially canon term for the three separate kinds of ponies that appears in most supplementary material like books is "breeds"
>>43206232Abyssal Forge NEVER EVER.
I swear I saw the tribe bitching in another thread
/co/ here. We’ve recently started having regular fanfiction threads and someone pointed me here, so I wanted to ask (especially considering I have a history of reading pony fiction): do any of you remember a bizarre Friendship Is Magic/Call Of Duty fanfiction called Equestria Defense Squad or Equestria Defense Force? It seems like the kind of thing most of the ponyfic crowd forgot, but there’s something about its sheer insanity that captivates me.
>>43207335>We’ve recently started having regular fanfiction threadsI'm so sorry.>ficWas it this one?https://fimfetch.net/story/1008033624/equestria-defense-squad
>>43207349YUP. That looks like it. I haven’t looked at this in forever.>TeenThat’s incredibly bizarre.The most memorable thing about this fanfic (unless I’m somehow conflating it with a different one in a freak slip of intellect) was its villain Deimos, who was an extreme gore sadist who brags to the heroes about raping and murdering his enemies. I specifically remember the phrase “I used her blood as lube and fucked her one more time before she bled out”.At that rate, you might as well call Cupcakes a childrens’ story.
>>432073652012 was a different time.
>apparently I've already read Winds of ChangeSo did we ever decide what increments we're reading it in?
>>43207668Two weeks.1st.- Prol-82nd.- 9-Epi
>>43207349I'm gonna love this
>>43207365>That’s incredibly bizarre.Redheart's War is T-rated and it has a mare's head graphically exploding via cannonball to the face and a griffon getting disemboweled.
>>43208158wasn't around the world in 80 days rated E?
>>43208232Only in the past, thankfully.
>>43208158What teenager does not enjoy heads exploding?
>>43208541I love Luna.
>>43208732Fuck you, I love her more!
>>43208738Love her or not, she’s still going to knock you out with her hypno magic and cuddle me while she gives me the best dreams.
>>43208746hypnofag???
>>43208911…maybe…
>>43208914Well hi, sorry the /co/ threads got nerfed now
Can anybody give me a deeper analysis of MLP's themes (besides the low hanging fruit) like virtue ethics?
I wrote over 100 short stories, and I feel dissatisfied with the outcome. What do?
>>43209609What was the outcome you wanted? I don't think strangers can answer otherwise.
>>43209609Masturbate.
>>43209616More activity, more things going on. It all feels stilted what i've done. And no one wants to join me in any groups I've made.
>>43209609Start writing better stories
>>43209869You're being a bit vague. By activity do you mean views and comments? By 'more things going on' do you mean, like, group projects or something?I'll response as if that's what you mean. Here's my two pieces of advice, though I don't think you will like them or be moved by it.First and foremost, you should NEVER EVER plan your happiness or satisfaction around other people. You can't control other people; you can only control yourself. Thus, you are basically gambling and throwing dice to fate whenever you make plans around other people. If you are driven by a lust for popularity and not writing for writing's sake, this may be a bitter pill, but you should really try to write in such a way that you will be happy even if nobody reads it or comments. (Assuming you're not trying to make a living out of this; getting stable income is always a bitch). You should write a short story because you want to and for no other reason. You should get satisfaction from your craftsmanship and feel enjoyment simply from re-reading it. Here's something that may be shocking to you: I know a prolific writer who has never published his work. He has written over 50 novels in his spare time over the past two decades and never shared a single one. It is purely for his own satisfaction - his love for the craft and the personal enjoyment in both writing the novels and re-reading them himself later. That is the kind of mindset that forges great and happy authors. There is no fate involved or fickle audiences. Merely you and your craft. And pleasing yourself is a lot easier than pleasing a bunch of people.Secondly, although I'm less confident in this one, I don't know what you were trying to build by writing a bunch of short stories. By nature they are disparate and unenduring. If you want to build something and get activity it's obvious you should do a long-form story and try to get long-term readers and a community built around it. Of course, if it looks unpopular and isn't going anywhere, maybe try again, but 100 short stories is like salting the earth I'd say.
>>43209880>>43209882I get it, the content I've produced was lackluster and that's why I'm not getting any headway with activity, but writing longer heavier written stories is painful. It's so agonizing, and even more so if it doesn't do well.
>>43209890I didn't say anything about lackluster content. Though that's kind of like an automatic guess when it comes to fanfiction anyway. "Get gud" is something that happens in the process of writing (and reading) so it will happen over time. If you think longer stories is painful and agonizing then you may be approaching it incorrectly. It's not like you need to play out anything. Are you familiar with the famous gardener vs architect quote? You may be trying too much to be a gardener. Instead, just place a human in the middle of Equesteria and then think "what happens next?" again and again until you have a 1,000,000 word story.
>>43209900that could work.
>>43209900>>43209904Oops, I meant "you may be trying too much to be an architect." Planning out is really tough. The human mind isn't really built to contain a massive story inside of it. Meanwhile, the people who shit out 4 million word fantasy series are just playing it by ear with vague thoughts in minds. You may think that this results in terrible stories, but GRRM the author to Game of Thrones says he is a gardener, for example. He sometimes writes the same chapter with 4 different outcomes just to see which one he likes more, rather than planning ahead and sticking to it. So as long as you are cautious and advance carefully you can get great stories from gardening. There are a lot of factors which make for a great story, and I think the most attainable one is a sense of reality. If you show a logical progression from point A to B to C, and the characters develop from a logical point of A to B to C along with them, then people will like that and see a reality within it. It is not necessarily the case you need insanely complex plots or profound themes. Though those can help. Just tell something true. As Hemingway would say, make it truer than true so that the elements of the story can mean many things.
>>43209916nta but what if I write as things come to mind but I think it's cringe so I delete it and start over, which can last for days until I finally get over it. Will this feeling ever go away?
>>43209928Well I'm not sure why you think that's something to "get over" or that the feeling should "go away." If you write something that feels cringe and bad to you then it may very well be. The only source of quality you can REALLY trust is yourself (because you can't make everyone happy). So deleting and starting until you're satisfied is a good thing. It's not like throwing up a rough draft you think is shit is liable to end well.
>>43209935It makes me second guess a lot of stuff I've written, though it does make me feel satisfied when I finally get over it, til I get to the next stump at least. I guess I'm scared of it ending up like shit cause that'd be admitting that the time I spent writing it was wasted or better allocated elsewhere. Maybe I'm seeing this the wrong way
>>43209869If you really want attention, then you need to write mass-market paperbacks. Forget about short stories, and especially forget about ponies. Write a predictable thriller or a trite romance, and limit yourself to a 7th grade reading level. That's the only way to get a really big audience.Does that sound as soul-sucking to you as it does to me?I've written a bunch of stories. I have some followers. I'd enjoy having more attention, but it's not going to happen unless I stop writing what I want to write. I'm not going to do that. I'd rather have the level of success I have now.
>>43209945It's good to second guess what you've written and it's good to be afraid of writing shit. Writing is not easy and resting on your laurels by uncritically posting rough drafts is not the ideal state of an author. I would say, indeed, if you are afraid of admitting something is shit because you wasted your time than you shouldn't be. Rough drafts (as I will call the things you deem to be shit and toss out) are something everyone makes and revises and even toss out. They can be essential for you to find your footing and devise what you actually want to write, and you get experience from writing them anyway. I mean, and look at it practically: if you write something shit, your options are either to publish shit or start over. Do you want to publish shit? Probably not, so even if it IS wasted time that somehow helped nothing at all, it's your only choice unless you want to publish something you think is bad, so fear is indeed only making you waste time. The only problem I really see here is the potential that you are wasting time accepting something is shit (by your own judgment) and speedily restarting or revising. Everything else is fine. If you aren't second guessing yourself then you won't second guess publishing garbage you regret.
>>43209966So just rip the bandaid off as quick as I can, and revise or throw it away? I can try that. I'm just starting out and I know I won't write amazing stuff but I still want to feel satisfied with what I make and part of that is not feeling like I was okay with writing/publishing shit.Thanks a lot, anon
>>43209981Any time. And yeah it stands to reason sitting time agonizing over do-or-do-not is a waste of time. If you're thinking hard about whether something is good or not, that's one thing, since the answer isn't always so obvious and thinking things through is good, but it's best to be mercenary and flatly cut things if you deem them not good. By the way, in terms of throwing it away, I personally have a single text document which I call something like "discarded quotes" or something and then I copy/paste everything I discard there. It's pretty big and just a huge collection of scattered lines, paragraphs, pages, etc. That way, the writing still exists and can be drawn from later if necessary. It makes it a bit easier to throw something away if you don't like it, as compared to deleted it forever.
>>43209981It's very common to advise beginners to produce something—anything—and to pay attention to quality later. This works surprisingly well. Writing a rough draft is one way to get your thoughts about your story in order. Those words are not words that you intend to publish, but because they help you organize the story, the effort isn't wasted. It's also common to advise beginners to spend as much or more time editing as initially writing. You shouldn't just vomit a bunch of words onto a page and click "publish". People do, but you shouldn't. Once you know how the story goes, you should go back and fix everything that felt wrong with it when it was coming out initially.That's not the only way to work. Some people write an outline or write notes. They're different, but they also help you organize your thoughts. The tradeoff you make is: Spewing out a rough draft requires no preparation time but lots of editing time; writing an outline or notes first decreases editing time but increases preparation time. One is not better than the other. They're just styles of working, and you should use whatever you're comfortable with.(One exception: Some people create endless notes and never write a story. This is particularly tempting for people who love worldbuilding. Unless you want to worldbuild for its own sake, don't do that.)
>>43210139What if you have a problem with putting fanfic text into AI generators to complete your ideas so you don't really get to really work on it long? What about losing interest in fanfics fast?I agree, I found out that write a lot first approach works best, from trial and error.
>>43210139I'd rather get anything done and get anything published at this point than edit. I'm ready to just go back to my original writing style and ignore craft, I just want it to exist and be out there.
>>43210140>What if you have a problem with putting fanfic text into AI generators to complete your ideas so you don't really get to really work on it long?
>>43210140If you want to be a writer you should make a hard rule to stay the fuck away from AI and never touch it for any reason. There are worlds where it can be useful (like there are indeed famous published authors who talk about using AI as a soundboard) but as a newbie you are playing with fire. Just stay the fuck away. Nothing will rot your soul more than having AI do shit for you. You need to cultivate your imagination so you imagine the endings to fics, not just let AI do it. So keep away. Never tab in. Even if you think "hmm I want to soundboard," too bad, don't do it. Or you will die a non-writer who is shit forever. As for losing interest in fanfics, that's pretty understandable. I think in 99 out of 100 cases that I see, a fanfic author will write the start in a furious haze, then fall off and either drop the work or otherwise go a lot more slowly. There's no helping that the start will probably be the most fun and casual. How you approach this is up to you. I think it's most respectable to not be a slave to flight of fancies and to just push through continuing to work on something you are less interested in, but that's hard, so if you really really want to just start new ones all the time you may be able to make it work by just planning small and rushing to endings. (I'm imagining works of 100k+ words length here; if you're getting bored of works only 5k words in yeah maybe kill yourself.)
>>43208956>deeper analysis of MLP's themesDon't start a race war and form separate ethnostates or magical monsters will feed off the racial hate and kill everyone. The Windigoes are an allegorical representation of the racial tensions that develop between nationalistic ethnostates and the ensuing wars that are triggered that lead to their destruction, as happened in Europe over the twentieth century.At the same time, open multiculturalism should be rejected. Anyone (griffon, yak, changeling, etc.) wishing to participate in the country's society is required to learn, understand, and participate in the culture and rules of society (Friendship School). Failure to do this sees them booted from the society as they prove to be incompatible with it and will only cause disharmony and potentially instigate that racial hate that leads to the magical apocalypse.I'm just shitposting.>>43209609Write one long story so you can be disappointed with it, too.>>43209890>any headway with activityYou're in a nearly dead fandom on a nearly dead fanfic site. The most viewed new fic in the featured box right now has three comments. My in-progress fetish fic currently has 47 times more views on DeviantArt (3300 vs 70) than it does on Fimfic.If you're in this for the horsefame and not the sheer joy of writing pone, you're about a decade too late.
is it in bad taste if I give you all a specific premise and ask for you to recommend fics?
>>43210221it's not
>>43210231yaaaaay!In that case-Sunset Shimmer returning to Equestria and re-integrating. Bonus points for slow-burn romance.
i'm rather liking fallout equestria so far. i'm on chapter 30it's pretty brusque writing. i've been consuming quite a bit of flowery novels lately so it's a nice break
Would Rainbow call ponies she doesn't like in a fighting scenario "losers" or "rejects"?
>>43210831Losers, more like it."Rejects" sounds like it should be compounded with something else. Like "Flight School Reject" to a pegasus she doesn't like.
>>43210831Losers, probably.
>>43210831Loser
>>43210831I prefer "faggot" but I'll agree with the other three anons.
I have an idea that's essentially treat the Windigos like the Wild Hunt from Witcher 3, set in the Warring Tribes era.
>>43210915What would the story be?
I don't know, but I have one now. A pony who claims to be a loner with a big sword comes and builds a crew of friends hunting monsters on the way and taking out bad guys. This pony is probably an earth pony that has been trained in secret technique to get superpowers. The main antagonist is the Windigos. And there is magic. Now that I think of it that's not that interesting to me.>>43210926
>>43210242Witch of the Everfree, maybe
>>43210936>Earth pony with a big swordHow's this supposed to work? Is this like wingblades?
>>43211993Ignoring FIM logic and making them hold it in hoof. Other pony gens did that. Or sword hilt in mouth
>>43211993
>>43211996FIM logic lets them hold it in their hands though, according to the TTRPG.
A little bit closer, each time.
>>43212000Strangely common art piece
>>43212013What fetish is it about?
>>43211996Holding a sword hilt in your mouth is almost a plan for an emergency trip to the dentist. I'm sure Colgate appreciates the business.
>>43212040Adverbs.
>>43212040Pregnancy
>>43212045Truly?
>>43212048Really.
>>43212051Seriously?
>>43212061Absolutely.
>>43212088Then I await its completion eagerly.
>>43210831Loser. "Reject" only works if there's some story context that fits (like she's a Wonderbolt fighting Lightning Dust or something like that).>>43210936>main antagonist is the WindigosUnless you're doing like a shonen setting thing, the Windigos are way too OP a villain for a single protag to deal with. They nearly took out the entire pre-Equestiran pony civilization and seemingly couldn't even be confronted via normal means.Even in an anime setting, I don't think they work well. They seem to be a sort of naturalistic antagonist. A force of nature that pops up when there's a race war they can eat all the negative emotions from and spews out ice and cold as a side effect. Anime villains usually need to be pretty charismatic and bombastic to work well and that just doesn't fit the Windigos.>>43211996>mouthswordsOh boy. It's fine, though, if your going full anime action/adventure and not shooting for something more realistic.>>43212040Kek.
>>43211996Swords are a unicorn weapon. Earth ponies would use spears, if stationary in a group, or armored boots, helmets, and chest/shoulder armor, for charging/slamming/stomping.
>Paul is doing another Author Spotlight nextBleh. He almost always picks boring shipfag authors like Mushroom or Mono, too. I think Pascoite was the last interesting one he did, and that was last year.
>>43212437At least he chose a thread author this time.RIP, Trixiedude.
>>43212213Earth ponies use guns. Spears are a pegasus weapon.
>>43214005Alicorns use semen.
>>43214142No, alicorns *covet* semen.
>>43214339Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, or thy neighbor's ass, or thy neighbor's semen.
>>43214443They covet all semen.
>>43214479I didn't realize they were always OP. Thanks for baking, alicorns!
>>43214660Oh they're baking alright. Baking buns.
>>43212437I want him to do an author spotlight on headless_rainbow
>be me>be readin' the club fic>it's shit>barely finish the second chapter>how much more do I gotta read>go look>it's the wrong fic
>>43214701Many such cases.
>>43214701which one did you read?
>>43214701kek, the reading is quite short though
>>43214754The other serious contender this week, Twilight Sparkle: Night Shift. The narrator isn't really Twilight Sparkle. She's a completely different pony who just happens to look the same on the outside. In her first chapter confrontation with Vinyl, she's flippant and smug. I kept imagining a cat toying with her prey. She's not so bad in chapter two until she decides that something's wrong with Rarity. The moment she thinks, "Gotcha," she returns to that same obnoxious, self-satisfied attitude. And she's stupider than Twilight Sparkle, because I can't believe that anypony with any monster hunting experience would intentionally not take any of her equipment when she goes to investigate a haunting. There's nothing wrong with a story having a character, even a narrator, that we dislike. But this character isn't Twilight Sparkle; she's kinda revolting without being fascinating, and that makes the story tough to enjoy.Monsters was a much better story. But the characters in that story weren't supposed to be canon characters, and JawJoe had two more years of experience. Maybe Night Shift gets better, but I don't want to stick around long enough to find out.
I just learned about this pic. Those of you who remember the town rapist discussion from >>43041034 et seq may appreciate this.
>>43215159>flippant and smugSo season 1 Twilight?
>>43215503No, season 1 Twilight was good.
>>43215503We don't discuss how the early season ponies were total assholes. Like rainbow dash.
>>43215608I don't mean to be petty but I think it's funny how some like lightly rude behavior turns into "total assholes." Like we're so expectant that the characters in children's cartoons are so obviously virtuous and benevolent that being even a little selfish or insulting is interpreted as total assholery.
>>43215733No, Dash really is kind of a dick. Like during the pet episode she's just being a total fucking cunt to all these things that want to be her personal undyingly loyal companions, not just Tank.
and now changeling space program just turned ten years old today http://www.fimfiction.net/story/327551/changeling-space-program
Are there any fics that do some of the text as likeImagesLike illuminated manuscripts or calligraphy to better paint the medium?
>>43215933There's the hearthswarming fic that's entirely images of written letters that does this. Don't know the name off the top of my head but the club read it a few months ago
>>43215784Having a kid really mellowed her ass out.
>>43215933Yes, the obvious answer is https://www.hollowshades.com/chapter/act-i-01-the-library-in-the-forest/Those are the exception, though. Nearly everyone who thinks the site's formatting is not sufficient to present their story writes this: https://fimfetch.net/story/42101/celestia/images/jph1k8iprpeohwyuawj_2df5bjkuepljbnsnksrplh8.png
>>43215933>>43216010https://www.fimfiction.net/story/56826/yes-apple-bloom-there-is-a-santa-hooves
Why do I pretend I'm a writer
>>43216650If you ever find the answer, let me know.
>>43216650Why not? Make believe is fun.
>>43215177
I want to thank you guys for the discussion earlier. I breached one thousand words in one day recently, and that was just from two sessions of forty minutes each, both with a little over five hundred words.I'm no stranger to sitting down and writing for eight hours straight, but I wasn't doing that consistently enough for my liking, and mostly not to do with my story writing either. It seems utterly silly in hindsight, but I think what happened is I handicapped myself by aiming to write every day, lowering my expectations to get started, and then not raising them once I got into the habit properly. I only recently started tracking my writing accurately, so I was unable to notice anything was wrong.Anyway, thanks again. I'm now doing better thanks to this thread.
>>43209900>Instead, just place a human in the middle of Equesteria and then think "what happens next?" again and again until you have a 1,000,000 word story.Sounds like a recipe for shit.
>>43216938Hopefully now you'll improve at writing. Next, consider how wrong you are about many other aspects of your life and mentality.
>>43216966Exactly. I'm trying to work out more so I can resemble the human self-inserts in some of my commissions better. Here, you should look at one:https://derpibooru.org/images/3186064
>>43216977You should work out your brain too.
>>43215503It's Tuna with flag off, he wants Twilight to spend all her time yurying with Luna without having time for silly things like a personality
>>43216977Why does he have so much fur growing on his chest? Are you secretly also a furry?
Witnessing unfiltered 2013 essence in,>/FSBC/There is something magical about reaching the end of a page with a two full lines of "AAAAAA" spammed with no breaks, then turning the page and getting blasted with a FULL PAGE of it. People in 2026 wouldn't do that. And it's funny how it does an anti-fixfic (What do you call an anti-fixfic? Season 9?) bit with Twi apologizing for ACW.But the biggest takeaway here is that the fic is tonally all over the place. Don't get me wrong, it's very charming in how genuine it is, but it attempts seriousness and fails miserably, struggling to make any serious scene land. And not just because the fic insists on Luna's BDSM preferences and RD being futa (applefag would be proud). We're also talking about le masks again. Hello, Ponyville? I'm 13 and this is so deep!>"No prob." They stood there in silence. "...so. I'm dying." "Yep."I don't want you to think I've been having a bad time with it, though! For one thing, it is remarkably less bad than so, so many classic fics written around that era. It's also lighter on the references and, on the whole, more coherent. Furthermore, even though it's been only half a year's difference, the later chapters are much better written than the early ones. Mind you, they're still a little tonally deaf, but less so than the first ones. I'm still unsure what atmosphere it's going for. The fic is blunt as a club, and the various bits talking about sex are... well, more than a few come across as jaring, the AJ conversation being a prime example even though that one (I think) is setting up a bigger plot element. It does also feel like the author has a pretty decent storytelling instinct because the fic doesn't try to bore you or go on unrelated tangents; there is an idea being followed here. Even the references are very toned down compared to the "meta" of the era—and the BonBon plot has to be Mendacity-inspired, which is based. To be clear, Mendacity is, like, ten times better as a story than this and potentially recommendable to non-ponyfags, but very few stories of the era can aspire to that title.Is this a bad fic, then? No, I really don't think so! It's definitely not an impressive, worldview-changing, life-altering, etc., etc. fic, but I'd even dare to hazard that it's a good fic. This is what fics were, when they tried to be good fanfics! Well, not really a true "oldfic" since it came in 2013, but for fanfiction specifically, that's still pretty early. Not every story has to attempt being a literary masterpiece. Actually, this reminds me a lot of Princess Celestia: The Changeling Queen, except without the horrendous technical writing of the first third of the digital version.Next week, we're finishing this story. After that, we'll see, since I figured we shouldn't read Night Shift after all. Three separate people reading it and saying "It's shit" in the thread is proof enough.
>>43217299I already read the entire fic last week (and also like ten years ago) so I'll try my best to not to spoil anything. I'm very interested to see what people think of it minus the nostalgia goggles because I don't feel like it aged well (more likely my standards grew too high).I forgot how much the prologue sucks. Just ruins any chance of a mystery up front. I think it could pretty easily have been cut and make no change to the rest of the story. I guess you'd lose part of the Bonbon reveal but it'd probably still hit the same.The overall tone in the story is interesting as it leans more toward something I'd expect to see in a comedy, and yet all the discussions between characters are trying to be emotional and have an impact and it doesn't end up landing for me. Then there's the bit with the changlings in chapter five where they communicate like a bunch of soldiers in a war and we get a cutoff distress call that would be easy to write off as just getting knocked out if not for Chrysalis explicitly saying thousands died in the next paragraph. The more I think about it, the more it feels like a joke. I don't think this even goes anywhere, either.I could have sworn that Rainbow Dash did a bunch of transformations for Pinkie in the dungeon but that must have been a different story because all of the interactions are quick and don't say much at all. I did remember the CMC "sub-"plot though, but I didn't remember it being quite so stupid. Maybe I missed something but how did they manage to get from the castle in Canterlot all the way back to Ponyville without being stopped? They just go off to look for Rainbow and then they're in the forest getting captured by Chrysalis.Anyways, looking forward to what you all make of how this all gets resolved because I definitely remembered that.>even though that one (I think) is setting up a bigger plot elementIt is but not in the way you think.>After that, we'll see, since I figured we shouldn't read Night Shift after allWe should read Sorry We Missed You because I also read that last Sunday and I have thoughts.
>>43217299i have read very few fics this old, but reading it, you can really tell it's from 2013. the tone is all over the place, with brooding melodrama one scene, and awkward sex jokes that overstay their welcome not even in the very next scene, but the very same one, multiple times.i strongly agree with >>43217331 that the prologue just shouldn't have been there. not only does neither character act in any remotely rational way, there could have been an interesting mystery that the fic just elects to replace with the prologue explaining exactly what happened. you wouldn't even need to change anything else for the mystery to work. literally just get rid of the prologue and the fic is now better. the mystery wouldn't be fantastic, and would probably be very easy to figure out, but just having it instead of not having it would make the first half of the fic a lot more interesting, and removing all potential mystery is really the only thing the prologue accomplishes.but as the author notes explain, this fic was created just so there would be a fic where rainbow dash was a changeling the whole time. so the reveal that the changeling is rainbow dash can't be an actual reveal with buildup, it needs to happen immediately, and the fic suffers for it.i also noticed that the fic uses a frankly absurd number of ellipses. it was noticable enough to me that i logged them for each chapter.the prologue has 68, chapter 1 has 28, chapter 2 has 34, chapter 3 has 52, chapter 4 has 62, chapter 5 has 82, chapter 6 has 45, chapter 7 has 77, and chapter 8 has 60, for a total of 508. but that's only the correct, three-dot ellipses, there are also a number of incorrect, four-dot ellipses. the prologue has 8, chapter 1 has 4, chapter 2 has 4, chapter 3 has 9, chapter 4 has 3, chapter 5 has 8, chapter 6 has 13, chapter 7 has 10, and chapter 8 has 2, for a total of 61 too many.overall, i can't say there's really a lot i liked about this fic so far, but i also would be lying if i said i weren't engaged with it. if the rest of it is really, really good, it might even be saved for me. not holding my breath though. it's definitely trying, i'll give it that. but it really feels held back by being a product of its time. at least it's also interesting by virtue of being a product of its time.
>>43217299The story is not bad. It's light and breezy, and I've been entertained. But I also feel like I already know how the whole rest of it is going to go: The M6 are going to confirm Bon Bon's story; they still aren't going to fully trust Rainbow Dash, but they're going to want her help getting the CMCs back; Rainbow Dash is going to be tempted by Chrysalis but is ultimately going to remain loyal to her friends, thereby proving she was the Element of Loyalty all along; and they all live happily ever after (except Chrissy). It's all going to happen pretty fast, since this is a pretty short story. In a longer story, Rainbow Dash would try to integrate into a changeling hive for a while (eventually that would fail, she would have an epiphany that she can be whatever she wants to be, and she wants to be Rainbow Dash). That's not this story, though.I'm tempted to call this fluff even though I shouldn't. It's not literally fluff because there's too much at stake, but something about it feels fluffy. There's a kind of emotional shallowness here. Everyone feels only the most obvious feeling and reacts only the most obvious way. Only a few moments stood out as being not utterly commonplace: Dash finding Chrysalis sexy; Lyra knowing that Bon Bon is a changeling yet still being obsessed with humans; changeling manes.I don't like how Pinkie is written. She feels way too sophisticated. She has too much book knowledge, and her conversation with Rainbow Dash is too philosophical.I wouldn't say I'm impressed, but overall I'm positive and looking forward to next week.>>43217299>I'm 13 and this is so deepI didn't quite get that, more "I'm 16 and this is so deep". It's definitely "blunt as a club" like you said.>>43217331>prologueI'm not convinced the prologue is a bad idea. I actually rather liked it. I thought it was a pretty sweet interaction between the real Rainbow Dash and the changeling who will become Bon Bon. I think it's trying to be deeper and more serious than it comes off, but I do think the story is better with it than without. By the time this scene becomes important later, when Bon Bon reveals herself, there's no way to communicate all the details of this scene to the reader because I don't think the author was skilled enough to manage a flashback. (Even if the author were better, a flashback would disrupt the action.) And without this scene, the reader wouldn't feel so inclined to trust Bon Bon later, because how would we know she isn't just lying?>CMCsWe hold these truths to be self-evident, that all foals are created troublesome, that they are endowed by Celestia with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Comedy, Advancing the Plot, and the pursuit of Cutie Marks. How did they manage to get to Ponyville and then the forest? Because it was necessary for the story. The author wants a confrontation with Chrysalis and this raises the stakes. It's not genius storytelling but it's fine for a story as simple as this.
>>43217331>I don't feel like it aged wellHonestly, it didn't age too poorly. Objectively, yes, it isn't what most of us would call a "good" story, I'm pretty sure. But viewed as a time capsule, a relic from a bygone era of the fandom, it actually does hold up to scrutiny decently well, imo. You could do a lot better, sure, but you could do so, so much worse when looking at fics from back then. And that feeling of early fandom's earnest naivety earns it a lot of points for me.>I forgot how much the prologue sucks.Like the other anon said, it has to be there because of the reason why the fic exists, but yes, it is quite awful with few to no redeeming qualities.>it doesn't end up landing for meDefinitely. I think my favorite parts so far were the banter between LyraBon, especially when Bonnie surrendered and Twilight went to 'interrogate' her, and that comedic dialogue is immediately followed by a supposedly heartfelt moment of BonBon recalling how a filly died in her hooves and how it changed her life. Could this ever work? I mean, maybe someone out there could write it taking advantage of the tonal clash, but that's not what the author did here.>all of the interactions are quickAnd she explicitly tells Rares that she doesn't know how to transform. How she passed Shiny's bubble hasn't been explained, either, but since the fic pointed it out, I hope it's not just a forgotten plot point.>all the way back to PonyvilleI don't think it says how they did it. Maybe by train? Although this was after the "CMCs can't take the train by themselves" episode, so I don't know.>Sorry We Missed YouSounds good to me, sure. Unless anons want to read some other specific fic.>>43217415>you can really tell it's from 2013. the tone is all over the placeI am being unreasonably lenient here, but that kind of wraps back around to being a feature of the story, not a bug. It's distinctly less horribly written than most of the popular stuff from back then, so you get the charm of 2013 without the worst "author doesn't know how to write in English" issues.>frankly absurd number of ellipsesYeah, but that's very emblematic of 2013 ponyfics. Why do you think ellipses got a section in Ezn's guide? Actually, I think this is just a fairly common tell of amateur writing in many communities—it's just that the pony writing scene managed to enforce at least /some/ norms that helped with things like this or LUS.>if the rest of it is really, really good,Not a chance. I'm all for being hopeful and giving writers the benefit of a doubt, but this will probably be exactly what you expect it to be. And it's fine being just that.
>>43217415>i also noticed that the fic uses a frankly absurd number of ellipsesRight, I forgot to comment on that. Sometimes it felt like I was reading a forum post written by a boomer. I can't be too hard on it because my first actual long story had a similar amount of em dashes.>incorrect, four-dot ellipsesIf the ellipse is the end to a sentence there should be a regular full stop after it. I don't remember if this story is using it correctly, but that's how it is in published literature (at least in American English).>>43217428>It's not genius storytelling but it's fine for a story as simple as this.That's true. I only just noticed while rereading this morning and it's not massively immersion-breaking for me, just a little silly to think about.
>>43217428>It's light and breezy, and I've been entertained.By the story itself or its "historical context"? I personally enjoyed reading it, but at the same time I don't think I'd enjoy reading the story on the same level written in 2026, with different, modern errors to replace the 2013 ones.>I already know how the whole rest of it is going to goBon Bon's story resolving so abruptly and directly confirms this, imo. There's always a chance it does something truly unexpected, but you shouldn't read it hoping that it does. The fic is not interested in being more ambitious than it is. It had an idea and, unusually for 2013, it even had a plan how to realize that idea in the form of a complete story.>something about it feels fluffyI think it's the lack of weight. It cannot really elicit a strong emotional response, but it's written entertainingly enough to keep you reading.>I don't like how Pinkie is written.That is fair, but the fic has other problems of that variety. I don't like this Shining Armor. I also don't like how callous ponies seem to be in random spots despite acting how you'd expect them in other scenes. And of course, the fic has to do the trademarked "2012 fixfic" thing, where it ends up retelling large parts of FiM episodes mostly unchanged.That said, I am also looking forward to next week.>"I'm 16 and this is so deep".Okay, yeah. I could agree with that.>>43217468>there should be a regular full stop after itYou could also do the ellipsis mark as one character. This thing: …
>>43217415I didn't believe your counts, so I counted myself. You miscounted chapter 6, which has 44 three-dot ellipses. But other than that, I agree.Some of the four-dot ones are only sort of incorrect, because they could be interpreted as an ellipsis followed by a sentence-ending period. The period should be omitted, but those are forgivable. A lot of them aren't like that, though.I remember being a young author and realizing that I was using too many ellipses. It's not hard to stop using them once you realize they're problem... it's realizing that they're a problem that's the challenge.>>43217465Shiny's bubble is never explained in canon; it's not clear precisely how it's supposed to work. He may not even know that the threat is from changelings, so he may not specifically be keeping them out. But what is he keeping out? It's never made any sense.>>43217470By the story itself. But anyone can tell right away that this is an amateurish story, so I've been setting my expectations at that level. If this were a published novel I'd be appalled.
>>43217299Just passing by to let people know that the only good things about TS:NS are the concept of Cadance being corrupted and the DEEP SYMBOLISM of the ending, which still makes me laugh to this day.It does make me wish there was a story about Twiggles being part of a secret organisation that was properly told.
>>43217299I honestly forgot it was club day. Probably because the reading was so short.>Rd gets the PCCQ treatment>Luna confused about modern day torture>ponies want to befriend instead of interrogate>Wob Niar>changelings are practically droids>"What if it was one of your sisters?!" "Tha docs would let us see 'em.">rarity is only pretending to be a drama queen>"I'm a changeling. She's just an idiot."It's a fun read, definitely an old school kind of fic as well. It comes off as lighthearted I think, but I don't know if it's supposed to considering bug RD is often seen just saying 'kill me'. Yet those scenes don't really feel as serious as they should. I think If I wanted this story but more serious I would rather go for PCCQ. And I'm kind of bummed they are presented with the mystery of bug RD and then almost immediately given the answer via Mendacity bonbon. They really didn't have any time to think about it, they just got the M6 to cycle through her cell talking about whatever and then the answer showed up at the front door. The ponyness is good though. Shining self reporting that he hit the prisoner (and Luna being confused is kek), Celestia preferring to befriend a prisoner and all of the m6 saying 'whoah, settle down' when bug RD wants to kys herself is all nice. The all caps screaming page was actually kino. And somehow the CMC are able to wonder into the forest because I guess Bonbon and Lyra didn't care about them that much kek.
>>43217299I've been enjoying this fanfic. It noticeably leans toward the fanfic side of the story spectrum, the author is clearly vibing out with the silliness and it's plain to tell when they had an idea they decided to drop in the story, and whether it was granted foreshadowing or just plopped.I'm also pretty entertained by the agreement from the author with my sentiment that RD cannot carry a story. Even with her turned into a changeling, typically a one-character-story-in-a-can, everypony else's reaction is what the fic is about.Old fic tropes. AJ's countryisms, CMC ruin everything, Luna's modern times confusion, yadda yadda.I liked the confrontation with between Luna and Celestia at the end of the reading. I assume it was a dig at other ACW fixfics that don't acknowledge that each of the characters involved acted reasonably for their situation, based on how the whole thing is resolved in a handful of paragraphs.>>43217921Apparently, I missed out on the pages of screaming. My reader and Calibre both do not linewrap the AAAAAAAAA line.Agree on the ponyness.
>>43217299This story is interesting I guess. It started out honestly very graphic for how comedic it gets later. Other people say that this is normal for stories from 2013 so maybe? I don't know. Tbh it starts to drag after Dash gets put in prison. I expected more drama from the M6 and Dash but so far all she says is "I don't know" to most things which I think makes her character too flat for who Dash is. It would be cool if she tried to prove she was the real Dash or something. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens to the cmc and Chrysalis but otherwise it's not as good as it probably could be.
>>43217299>And not just because the fic insists on Luna's BDSM preferences and RD being futaOh yeah what was with all the random sex stuff? Dash started talking about Shining Armor in a BDSM outfit or something? Then she keeps thinking about how tight Chrysalis is? >>43217331>I forgot how much the prologue sucks. Just ruins any chance of a mystery up front.>>43217415I actually liked the prologue because it's a strong move to kill a filly Dash in the first chapter and it sets up a more emotional story. It would have been bad obviously if the story was trying to be a mystery but drama is better for the premise I think. The rest of the story doesn't follow up though unfortunately. >>43217428>I don't like how Pinkie is written. She feels way too sophisticated.Noooo Pinkie is actually really misunderstood by the fandom, she's smart and has high emotional intelligence. Please don't hate her for not being a screechy ditz. >>43218044>the author is clearly vibing out with the sillinessYea others have talked about the tonal clash but it's fun if youre along for the ride and not dwelling on it. Still would kill for more juicy character moments though.
>>43218190Clever doesn't equal sophisticated>>43217428>Only a few moments stood out as being not utterly commonplace: Dash finding Chrysalis sexy; Lyra knowing that Bon Bon is a changeling yet still being obsessed with humansThese two seem to only stand out by accident.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/589572/Neat, that Celestia x Coco Pommel story I liked that someone here posted about got a sequel.
Are there any HIE stories not told from the humans perspective? As in from the perspective of other characters observing the humans behavior from their outside perspective, or a narrator that doesn’t give any information on the humans internal states. with us the readers not being given any direct information on the humans internal thoughts or feelings.
>>43218980WaSLC, mostly.I'd Only Dream Of You, technically.There's another commonly linked one about a brony hermit that probably is, but I don't feel like finding it right now.
>>43217299I love old style fanfics so much. They're what I try to emulate, and that's easier to do than with new fanfic style because the bar's too high these days. There's something awesome about the passion and just how real it is.
>>43218142I've read some Naruto fanfics from back then a couple years ago and a more simplistic prose style but in a good way was common back then.
>>43219011I already read WASLC so I guess I’m shut out of luck.
>>43218980Are you a Hitoner fan?
>>43219065If you're looking for HiE fics, you're probably already shit out of luck: whether you find them or not.
Just hit 50k in my horror romance.Still expect to finish somewhere around 70k once I'm done.I hope you have a great week of writing pony.
>>43220244I saw a clearly adult woman in what looks like a Catholic school girl's uniform last week. Tights and a skirt. I wanted her bad.
>>43220319Damn, again?
Do you think at any point in Equestria's history there would be slurs for ponies who dated outside of their tribe? Like a unicorn dating a pegasus or a pegasus dating an earth pony?
>>43221063Yes.
>>43221063>would the racism creatures, known for being so racist they created racism ghosts that nearly killed everyone and have to take active steps not to be racist, be racist?...Yes?
>>43221063Long ago, “alicorn” was an insult similar to “half-breed”.
>>43221063>Do you think at any point in Equestria's history there would be slurs for ponies who dated outside of their tribe?no because the start of equestria's history is also the end of the three tribes.
>>43221083>>43221096Okay so I was on the fence about whether or I needed racemixers specific slurs but I think general ones will work. Thanks anyway.
>>43221063Here’s my 15 seconds of thought headcanon.With an earth pony -> mud buckerWith a pegasus -> feather friskerWith a unicorn -> horn polisher Also it’s implied in the show that ponies don’t race mix much. Most of the couples are of the same tribe and most of the characters we know the parents of are the same tribe as their parents with those parents also being of the same tribe as eachother.
>>43217299>After that, we'll see, since I figured we shouldn't read Night Shift after all.>tfw you'll never see the club's reaction to the cherry tree endingIt's a bad feeling.>>43221063Pre-HWE, absolutely. After the whole "race wars will kill us all" thing, I'd imagine it was tamped down.
I got a great piece with a different up close moon, just like this one, kek.
>>43221874Luna should get her cellulite checked out.
>>43221971It's good, that was just a nightmare.
>>43221529Do you think Big Mac is seen as a sexual deviant for his unicorn fetish
>>43221529>mud buckerCome on anon, there are plenty that are better to use for earth ponies: dirt eater, mud drinker, worm slurper, hill fucker, tree bucker, maybe even legger.
>>43222212I feel like in modern Equestria they might just call someone 'dirty' if they're with an earth pony
>>43222239>>43222212This pony lookin' DIRTY, this pony lookin' MUDDY, he's got earth on his rump, he's light on his hooves, he's a little bit fruity, he plays for the other tribe, he dances at the other end of Equestria, this pony magical, this pony good with colors, this pony gonna coordinate yo curtains wit you cushions and that shit gonna look good! This pony lifts clouds, this pony on the ground level, this pony be a gem trader, this pony gardens uphill, this pony packs mud, he's a friend of the peasants, he feels the love that dare not speak Its name, he loves to fly, he's of the Pegasi brotherhood, he indulges in the horned vice, he has an antitribal sexual Instinct, he's on the wrong train, he bats for the other team, he's temperamental, he's 'one of them...If you catch my drift.
>>43222298>he's a little bit fruity*veggie
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/316852/empty-horizonshttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/438585/sunken-horizonsJust finished these two in two weeks lol. Now what. These are some of the best fanfiction I've read. The world, the cities, the ponies, the villains, all are very entertaining. I do think the author dislikes using Pinkie and Fluttershy. I'd recommend this to anyone, especially anyone who likes BioShock. I'm gonna read CnG's Salvation next.Will there be a sequel? What does the epilogue in Sunken Horizons tell us? Did you like it?
>>43222587Meant to post it with this pic of Sabre. Whoopsy poopsy.
>>43222587>I do think the author dislikes using Pinkie and Fluttershy.Lmao I noticed that exact bit too
>>43222587>Will there be a sequel?Any day now.Right around the time Empress of Steel comes out.
>>43222886And when The Enchanted Library trilogy finally finishes!
>>43222948And the Austraeoh series before that!
>>43222886Soon
>>43222954I'm sure we'll finally have a chapter of Where the World Ends by then.
Didn't realize we were so close to the end. I can make the next thread now, or I can go to sleep. Opinions?
>>43223560I'd say make the next one now, because you don't want to wake up and find that the lightbulb has gone out, y'know?
>>43223564Normally, it doesn't matter if I'm not around because other people bake, too. I don't know if anyone will be around tonight. I don't know how far we'll slide, either. The safe thing to do is shitpost until we hit 500 then make the new thread. So let's do that:FO:E is good actually
>>43223582>FO:E is good actuallyIt's thematically consistent, has characters with clear arcs, and limited grammatical errors.That makes it gold in fanfic terms.It's honestly not a very good Fallout fanfic though because the zebras are 120% at fault for every single thing in it.
I went ahead and did it:>>43223617>>43223617>>43223617
>>43223621You did good
>>43222587>Will there be a sequel?No, there will likely not be a sequel, because the story is currently still unfinished and waiting for its third part (not a separate follow-up story, which is what a "sequel" is). There's no indication of a sequel being planned afterwards.