>WOOOOOHHH, I AM THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE SATAN, WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME?>I wanna be in a famous band, you plonker>VERY WELL, BUT THERE ARE TWO CONDITIONS>Two? Alroight>FIRST, YOU MUST SLICE OFF THE TIPS OF YOUR RIGHT HAND'S FINGERS>You wot m8, that's me frettin' hand, I->SILENCE>Roight, bugger, what's the second term?>HENCEFORTH PEOPLE SHALL ALWAYS ADDRESS YOU AS TOMMY IOMI OR TONI LOMMY OR A VARIATION OF THE TWO>Wait, but if I'm famous how will people get my name wro->*satan disappears in a puff of smoke*
>>128255571>TOMMY IOMIngl, i've done that before
>>128255571bumping because this made me lol
>>128255571>Bloody 'ell
>WOOOOOOOO, I AM THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE.....WAIT, WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME, YOU'RE ALREADY IN A FAMOUS BAND AND->I wanna be a big solo star, you git>....VERY WELL BUT THERE ARE FOUR CONDITIONS>Four? But Tommy said he only needed to do tw->SILENCE>THE FIRST CONDITION IS, YOU MUST MARRY MY DAUGHTER SHARON>Sharon? The only Sharon I know is that bastard Don's daugh.....oh no, you don't mean..>YES, I DO MEAN>bugger, well go on, what's the next one?>YOU MUST WEAR THOSE DORKY JOHN LENNON SUNGLASSES AT ALL TIMES>roight, never getting a bit on the side with those on.... what's the third one?>YOU MUST BECOME THE STAR OF A HUMILIATING REALITY TV SHOW>Reality TV? Is that one of them quiz shows? I don't do well in tests and->YOU WILL FIND OUT IN TWENTY YEARS, NOW SHUT UP AND->No, I really mean it, I never finished high school and I'm really insecure because of->MY, YOU ARE ONE ANNOYING LITTLE CHATTERBOX AREN'T YOU?>YOUR FOURTH AND FINAL CONDITION IS THAT ALL YOUR SPEECH WILL BE INCOMPREHENSIBLE TO OTHERS>Bwegh ascasfc efdsavvdf? Lhlbhkj awd->SORRY, COULDN'T QUITE CATCH THAT, SEE YOU IN HELL EVENTUALLY>*satan disappears in a puff of smoke*
>>128257987haha this is beautiful
>*meanwhile, somewhere in the United States of America*WOOOOOOO, I AM THE..... WHAT'S THIS, WAS I SUMMONED BY A GARDEN GNOME? DOHOHOHOHO>Very funny, faggot. Never heard that one before>MY APOLOGIES "LITTLE ONE". I SHALL CEASE TEASING YOU. WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO GET SHORT WITH ME>You done?>FOR THE TIME BEING>Good, so yeah, I have a wish>LET ME GUESS, IS IT TO BE TALLER?>Just shut the fuck up and listen, you red homo. I wanna have the voice of a God. See I'm gonna be using Dio as my stage name and I wanna have the voice to go along with it.>I CANNOT ARGUE WITH LOGIC THAT FLAWLESS. BUT, MIGHT I SUGGEST->One more height joke and I'm going to rape you even if I have to lodge my entire body in your big red ass>VERY WELL, I SHALL GRANT YOU YOUR WISH. AND SINCE LIFE HAS BEEN CRUEL ENOUGH TO YOU ALREADY, YOU ONLY GET ONE CONDITION>Score! Alright, let's hear it>ALL YOUR LYRICS MUST REVOLVE AROUND EMBARRASSING DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS TRIPE>dungeons and whaaa?>IT'S LIKE LORD OF THE RINGS BUT GAYER AND NERDIER>Lord of the rings? Is that some kind of gay porno stuff. Because I ain't into that>LOOK, YOU'LL BE SINGING ABOUT GHOST, GOBLINS, ELVES AND RAINBOWS -THAT TYPE OF THING. AND YOUR AUDIENCE WILL BE EXLUSIVELY MALE>No, wait, I take that back, I wanna be talle->*satan disappears in a puff of smoke*
>>128257987>MARRY MY DAUGHTER >The only Sharon I know is that bastard Don's daugh>implying Don is Satanheh
>>128258600I think it was more of a Rosemary's Baby situation
>This is why I don't mess with that hocus pocus malarkey>I'm going to achieve my fame and fortune through sheer hard work and talent
>>128258560don't worry Dio i love the nerd lyrics
>>128255571Greatest thread ever.
Finally a good fucking thread
>>128257987>THE FIRST CONDITION IS, YOU MUST MARRY MY DAUGHTER SHARONKEK
good thread OP
Now do Led Zeppelin
>>128255617apart from the deal with satan explanation, is there any explanation on why it happens?
>>128264959Not that many anglo last names starting with I. Can't explain the first name though, must be the work of satan
>>128255571good thread
Good thread. Very good thread
>>128255571Didn't expect to laugh while lurking /mu/, most people are whiny or angry here
Imagine if it actually was a Djinn that cursed them so we would end up with all the insane Black Sabbath and Ozzy lore we have now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZQB7csWQH8
>>128270643this guy has such a great evil face, the makeup was totally unnecessary, a downgrade in factHe could totally also play evil CEOs and businessmen
>>128264959Tommy rhymes with Lommy
>>128270371This board is dead
>>128255571Can you do one for Geezer and Bill next?
>>128255571You forgot the part where norgroids attribute the guitar playing in sabbath to ozzy too
