>old
>fat
>cringe
>irrelevant
>drunk
It's over for this untalented pig

we've all been a lil too gakked out on blow. makes you chew your jaw like a steak. i've got some pretty embarrassing pictures taken from parties. just me chewing my own fuckin lip

she's running out of eggs

>>128843459
Not all of us are drug addicts pieces of shit, anon.

>>128843491
good cocaine hardly counts as a drug. it's basically like coffee on steroids.

>>128843523
Oh yeah. People suck dick for coffee all the time.

>>128843567
nobody sucks dick for coke. i mean, women do, but they also suck dick for free. so that really doesn't count.

>>128843573
Anon, it's never going over. It's a drug. You shouldn't do it but I'm also not your mom. Just look after yourself and don't die over some retarded shit.

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>>128843608
>never going over
i'm going over, brother

>>128843638
Kek. You're alright, fellow /pw/ Chad.

>>128843573
I sucked dick for crack a couple times.

>>128843649
if you ever doubt yourself, just remember what marty jannetty said:
>if you loves me as much as i loves you
>you will give your opinion,,
>just did DNA(2 weeks ago)...she's NOT my daughter
>..we both held out on sex because you don't do that...
>but now that we ain't???
>From a guys side ..SHES FUCKIN HOTT
>..but...she's been daugher..
>I want to too, but can't get past that..

>>128843686
Longfellow couldn't have said it better

>>128843696
do you think marty and daugher?

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>>128843665

>>128843706
I mean... She's fucking HOTT. We've all been there.

>>128843728
let's be honest. they probably did before he knew she was daughter. that's why the tweet was so guilt-ridden

>>128843743
Gotta feel bad for the guy. Imagine having your name associated with failure by wrestling geeks.

>>128843784
the rocker-dropper was one of the coolest finishers. way cooler than the superkick. up there with duke the dumpster's Trash Compactor

>>128843792
It was a great one. I know why HBK popped with people but it sucks Marty got the short end of the stick.

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>>128843573

>>128843917
my finisher on trampoline wrestling as a kid was a pedigree legdrop. you could do a single-underhook and it'd look like a rocker dropper

>>128843971
Tried to do a Billy Kidman shooting star press off the diving board in our pool. I don't recommend it.

>>128844122
i broke my tailbone taking a suplex to the outer-metal ring of the trampoline. it was supposed to be a spot that smacked the back of my knees, but i was too close to the outside of the ring.

>>128843430
Shes turning into her mom

>>128844133
You're a goddamn maniac. Respect. My best friend from childhood ran a backyard fed and he powerbombed this guy on the hood of his Honda Civic. Completely fucked it up. His folks were pissed but the marks that were there ate it up.

>>128844173
one day i'll get that no-good Dynamic Dylan back for breaking my tailbone. THIS MONTH. at WINTER WARCRIME PPV. DYLAN IS GONNA PAY DEARLY

>>128844198
Not since 9/11 has there been a more brutal event on American soil. Mmmm. Badass.

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>>128844236
it's a 3-pinfalls no DQ judy bagwell-on-a-pole coal miner's glove match
>weapons allowed
>Judy Bagwell is strapped to a body harness and dangling from a steel pole 10 feet in the air above a corner turnbuckle
>every time a wrestler makes a pinfall, Judy Bagwell must eat an entire sleeve of saltine crackers
>the match is 3 pinfalls TOTAL. on the 3rd pinfall, regardless of who makes the pin, the match ends
>coal miners glove suspended on the opposite turnbuckle


[Generic Derek (me) vs. Dynamic Dylan (w/ Sexy Steve as his manager)]
some background:
>Derek and Dylan used to be on a tag team
>Danny Danger came into the federation with his (at the time) manager Sexy Steve
>Danny and Steve started getting into Dylan's head about how he's too good to tag with me
>Dylan splits up our tag team and goes solo
>betrays me at Spaghetti-Slam
>Dylan, Steve, and Danny team up, but Steve and Dylan eventually betray Danny Danger (chair shot to the dick)
>I've lost my best friend, I'm on somas, and I've got nobody in my corner

>>128843491
not all of us are straight edge faggots either

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>>128844285
Sold out VFW in Wichita for the Winter Warcrime PPV
[bell rings]
>Generic Derek locks up with Dynamic Dylan
>shoots Dylan into the ropes
>leapfrog
>dropdown
>Dylan with the clothesline
>Generic gets up
>off the ropes
>CORKSREW ELBOW TO DYLAN
>cover, 1-KICKOUT

>Judy Bagwell is still dangling and spinning uncomfortably in her harness
>Dylan gets up
>the two ex-partners exchanging forearms in the middle of the ring
>Dylan steals a side headlock
>BIG russian leg sweep
>Dylan with the cover
>1, 2-KICKOUT by DEREK
>Dylan now visibly agitated
>he wants to end this match and retire Generic Derek once and for all
>Dylan now going outside of the ring
>looks like he's grabbing a steel chair
>now he's in the ring-OH NO
>*WHAP*
>CHAIR SHOT TO THE FACE OF DEREK
>Dylan now looks like he's setting up the chair in the middle of the ring
>he grabs The Generic One, oh no-DYLAN DON'T DO IT
>drags Derek to the chair
>i can't believe what Dylan is about to do. THAT WAS YOUR BROTHER
>double-underhook on Derek
>*KLRKKK*
>DOUBLE UNDERHOOK PILEDRIVER ON THE CHAIR
>WHY DYLAN, WHYYYY

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>>128843430
Looks, acclaim, general goodwill, even her status as the quintessential milquetoast liberal icon. She's been completely outflanked by the newer generation. Her tradwife turn is unsurprising. Her money and Travis's cock are all she has left.

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>>128844321
>Dylan with the cover
>1, 2 3
>FIRST PINFALL
>the ref is now shoving saltine crackers into Judy Bagwell's mouth
>she seems to be choking a bit, back to the action
>Oh this can't be good
>Derek is now split wide open
>Dylan eyeing that coal miners glove in the corner
>he's climbing the turnbuckle and reaching for the glove...
>DEREK IS UP!
>DEREK IS UP
>he climbs under Dylan and-
>belly to back suplex off the 3rd rope!
>both men are dazed
>Generic Derek is an absolute bloody mess
>Derek now staggering up the turnbuckle, reaching for the coal miners glove
>and he's GOT IT
>Derek adjusts the glove and stands on the top rope
>looks like he's going for it..YES
>SHOOTING-STAR SUPERMAN PUNCH
>RIGHT TO THE FOREHEAD OF THAT NO GOOD DYNAMIC DYLAN
>Dylan now GUSHING blood
>Derek with the cover
>1, 2, 3 AND THAT'S THE SECOND OF THREE PINS
>NEXT CONTENDER TO MAKE A PIN WINS THE STRAP AND SIXTY-EIGHT DOLLARS

>the referee is now feeding Judy Bagwell her second sleeve of saltine crackers
>this of course gives both competitors a chance to gather themselves
>both Dylan and Derek are a bloody mess
>they stagger to their feet
>they're locking up once more
>Derek with a kick to the mid-section
>Dylan staggering -what's this?
>Sexy Steve climbing the apron and into the ring
>He's got brass knuckles!
>Sexy Steve swings for the fences but misses Derek because he's such a dumb gay fag
>*CRCK*
>SEXY STEVE PUNCHES THE REF RIGHT IN THE FACE
>THE REF IS ABSOLUTELY COVERED IN BLOOD NOW
>THINGS ARE NOT LOOKING GOOD FOR DEREK
>No officiator, both Steven and Dylan close in on Derek
>NO!
>SOMEONE STOP THIS
>Steve and Dylan are putting the boots to Generic Derek!
>DAMN YOU SEXY STEVE
>Generic Derek seems to have pissed himself from the pain!
>SOMEONE STOP THIS DAMN MATCH

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>>128844357
>who is that running down the entrance ramp?!
>its-IT'S
>DANNY DANGER
>DANNY DANGER RUNS TO GENERIC DEREK'S SIDE
>danny grabs the steel chair
>*WHAM*
>steel chair to the head and face of Dynamic Dylan!
>*WHAM*
>steel chair to the forehead of Sexy Steve!
>*WHAM*
>steel chair to the referee!
>Danny Danger is helping Generic Derek to his feet
>Danny picks up Dylan
>DANNY HITS THE RUNNING BURNING HAMMER INTO THE BOTTOM TURNBUCKLE
>Dylan might have just DIED FOR REAL, FOLKS
>Danny Danger motions to Derek to go for another Shooting Star Superman Punch from the top rope
>Derek climbs the ADJACENT turnbuckle, looks like he wants to go coast to coast
>Derek tightening that coal miners glove on his right hand
>sets himself up...
>he-he's going AIRBORNE!
>DANNY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
>DANNY CATCHES HIM IN MIDAIR WITH THE STEEL CHAIR
>GENERIC DEREK MISSES AND PUNCHES JUDY BAGWELL IN THE FOREHEAD
>Judy is gushing blood and choking on saltine crackers!
>Generic Derek is now on the ground in a heap!
>he's covered in blood and piss
>Judy is CHOKING
>JUDY'S HARNESS BREAKS
>SHADES OF OWEN HART, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
>Judy falls on top of Derek and Dylan
>the ref is waking up-OH NO
>1, 2, 3
>JUDY BAGWELL WINS

>>128844285
>>128844321
>>128844357
>>128844392
Absolute kino. No notes. Triple Hitler, give this man the book.

>>128844475
i can't believe danny danger did that to derek

>>128843454
>>old
>>fat
>>cringe
>>irrelevant
>>drunk
But enough about Katy Perry

>>128844523
Nuclear heat. Hope he can get out of town in one piece

>>128844557
what benefit does Danny Danger stand to gain from letting JUDY BAGWELL become the world champ AND win the big Sixty-Eight Dollar pot?

no, she's over 30 :(

>>128844748
judy bagwell? yeah, no shit. she's like 90