>join the first real rock band at the last minute because Brian Epstein didn't like the cut of your predecessor's jib>proceed to do nothing>no really, besides drumming you are contributing absolutely nothing of value to the biggest band of the time>the only thing you are allowed to do is sing the most bland album filler-type tracks in a roster that could otherwise be described as "history-writing">your only singing roles are on covers of worn-out American staples and songs for children because "ringo's good with the kidz" (read: no girl over the age of 3 thinks you are attractive)>let's be honest, you can't even drum that well anyways>you are literally barred from singing in the harmonies because George Martin deems your proletarian thick-fingered excuse for a singing voice unfit for service>this state of affairs lasts for five years>throughout the entirety of Beatlemania, all the live performances, all the kino non-LSD albums and even some of the LSD ones you contribute absolutely NOTHINGcont. 1/3
cue 1968 - the production of the White Album>Paul "the Cock" McCartney finally calls you out on the excuse you pass for drumming while writing one of the best tracks in history>instead of improving yourself, you instead walk out because "Paul didn't appreciate muh heckin' feel for the drooms">in a collective rush of shit to the brain, every single other member of the band crawls upon their knees begging you to come back because "you're such a cool guy pleeease">instead of returning immediately, you decide to spend the next two weeks of album production time on Sardinia, an island which has about as many things to do as Rutland>due to this Back In The U.S.S.R. features Paul "Basest Band Member" McCartney on drums>something which he does infinitely better than you ever could because he *actually maintains rythm*>when you return to the studio George "Jeet McKrishna" Harrison has slathered the entire studio in flowers to make you forget the fact that due to your absence half the album now has actually good drums played by Paul "watch this drive" McCartneycont. 2/3
>finally time to record one of your songs>song so bland that it has been skipped on all the albums since 1964>can't even write all the verses, needs George Harrison to do all the legwork for you>despite being the drummer, the song is a 4:4 humming tune suited to a fucking vanity fair merry-go-round with a drum line that can be played by a half-aborted quadruple amputee>half the band doesn't even show up to record it, including George Harrison who helped write it>have to resort to session musicians>the drums on the track are still off>repeat this for Octopus's GardenI don't hate Ringo, he genuinely seems like a very nice guy - but what the fuck did this guy do? How did he stay on the biggest band of his era without contributing a single thing? It's not like they didn't take him seriously, Paul especially trying to have him sing on his own - but how the hell did he get to share in this massive success story?
Filtered. He was a great drummer.
