Brian Wilson sat in the room, nervously awaiting the decision of the record executive. He had worked hard on his music and was confident he could get the deal. All his hopes and dreams of making his next masterpiece were on the line, but deep down, he knew he wasn't cool enough to make the cut.The record executive finally entered the room, a stack of papers in hand. He sat down at the table and began to go over the documents. After a few moments, he finally spoke."Brian, I'm sorry, but we're going to have to pass on this deal. It seems that Mike Love is a much better fit for the label. He's 1000 times cooler"Brian was crestfallen. He knew what this meant. He was being passed over in favor of Mike Love. He had heard of Love's coolness and knew he could never compete.The record executive then added, "I'm sorry to say, but it's your wardrobe. Every time you sit down, your ass crack shows. It's just really gross, we don't want to be in the studio and stare at your ass while recording."He felt the tears welling up in his eyes as he walked out into the street. He had wanted this so badly, but it wasn't meant to be. He had failed. He had been too uncool. Mike Love patted him on the back. "Better luck next time, buddy," he said.He walked home, feeling defeated and embarrassed. He knew that he had to try and find something else, but it wouldn't be the same. He had lost his chance at making his masterpiece.
>>130035861Brian Wilson sat in the room, nervously awaiting the decision of the record executive. He had worked hard on his music and was confident he could get the deal. All his hopes and dreams of making his next masterpiece were on the line, but deep down, he knew he wasn't cool enough to make the cut.The record executive finally entered the room, a stack of papers in hand. He sat down at the table and began to go over the documents. After a few moments, he finally spoke."Brian, I'm sorry, but we're going to have to pass on this deal. It seems that Mike Love is a much better fit for the label. He's 1000 times cooler, not to mention he's white"Brian was crestfallen. He knew what this meant. He was being passed over in favor of Mike Love. He had heard of Love's whiteness and knew he could never compete, after all, Brian was black.The record executive then added, "I'm sorry to say, but it's your wardrobe. Every time you sit down, your ass crack shows. It's just really gross, we don't want to be in the studio and stare at your ass while recording."He felt the tears welling up in his eyes as he walked out into the street. He had wanted this so badly, but it wasn't meant to be. He had failed. He had been too uncool, and black. Mike Love patted him on the back. "Better luck next time, nigger," he said.He walked home, feeling defeated and embarrassed. He knew that he had to try and find something else, but it wouldn't be the same. He had lost his chance at making his masterpiece.
>>130035868You changed it
>>130035885Nope, that's the true version
Mike good
oh yeah, like multi-platinum aritsts the Barenaked Ladies would lie about the genius of Brian Wilsonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIZyqx83mso&list=RDfIZyqx83mso&start_radio=1you're welcome, only music in the fucking /mu/ thread so far
Daddy Nike!
>>130035861What about when Brian and Mike went to the movies? Brian saw Barbie, Mike opted for Oppenheimer. Hijinks ensued
>>130040751That one was a classic
Mike writes the hitsBrian writes the SHITS!
>>130040751>>130041009That was the one where Mike what himself in front of Japanese girls- classic Mike
Daddy Nike = genius
Abigail, the 6 year old Beach Boys fan was sitting on a chair, excitedly waiting to finally meet her favorite band. She had dreamed of this day for months and couldn't wait to get a chance to tell them how much she loved their music.Suddenly, the door opened and 400-pound Brian Wilson stumbled into the room, flailing his flabby arms around screaming "WHERE'S MY COCAINE???” Abigail tried speaking to him, but he completely ignored the little girl trying to get his attention.Exhausted from his search, Brian plopped down on top of the child, crushing her entire body with his fat weight, her screams of pain muffled suffocating under Brian's fat ass. He then got back up and saw a crumbled gory mess of brains and bones where he sat. He screamed loudly in terror at what he had done, the blood dripping from the chair to all over the floor with parts of her body still twitching.Mike Love then walked in the room ready to meet his fan, only to see what Brian had done. Mike was horrified and immediately called out Brian for being a disgusting child fetishist. Brian yelled back denying any such claims, but Mike wasn't having it and pulled out his shotgun. Brian pleaded Mike to not kill him, yelling that he made a mistake, but Mike dismissed him and blasted Brian's skull to pieces right then and there.The little girl's dream of meeting her favorite band had been ruined by one man's depravity and it was a tragedy that would haunt Mike Love forever.
Daddy Nikes best album
>>130046030Agreed. Makes Brian’s Smile look jewish
>>130046030Mike Love was exhausted after a long day of performing. All he wanted to do was go home and relax by watching some porn on Pornhub. As soon as he logged in, however, he was met with utter disgust. Videos featuring bestiality, underage children, German scat, and degenerate transgenders were tainting his account. He had had enough when he saw a gay fanfiction of him and Brian Wilson having gay sex in the 1960s, causing him to slam his fists on the keyboard at how he was being portrayed.In a fit of rage, Mike stormed up to Brian's room and pushed him against the wall. He punched him in the face, breaking his teeth, and kicked him while shouting "What is your fucking problem, you fat fucking faggot?!" Brian whimpered back "Y-you can't judge me!" Mike responded with "Oh I'm about to judge you right now, boy!" before stomping on Brian's head with his steel-toed boots. The impact crushed Brian's skull like a cantaloupe, his brains and skull bits splattering all over his bedroom floor.With Brian out of the way, Mike returned to his computer to masturbate in peace. He deleted all the gay fanfiction, blocked all the bestiality and scat videos, and reported all the underage videos. After that, he could finally wack it to some titties without any worries
>>130046030Based and Nike pilled! Hail Nike!
>>130046044No, reply to me like you used to. Unless you’re a fraud whose copy and pasting Bryonposters old work. You phony
Brian Wilson and Van Dyke Parks sat in the studio, ready to start recording their True Crime podcast."Welcome folks. Are you all ready to hear about HOT SEXY TRUE CRIME DETAILS? Let's do this!"As Brian spoke, he kept winking subtly at Van while giving him quick little slaps on his balls under the table, which made Van squirm in discomfort, saying "I find it deeply unpalatable for someone to prescriptively manipulate my testicles whilst seated diegesically to me.""Tonight, we tell the story of a poor soul who found herself faced with a gruesome fate," Brian continued. "She was first robbed of her life, but not before her assailant had brutally raped her using nothing other than CHEESEBURGERS shoved down her throat and other holes! This proves truly diabolical."He then started getting really excited by what he was talking about as carnal feelings started rising within him so fiercely that he couldn't help but slip his hand into his pants and start rubbing himself while saying "THIS IS SO FUCKING HOT!!! I AM TRUE CRIME OBSESSED!!""I have a sonorous premonition of angst and alarm in connection to this..", Van thought. The details seemed overly familiar, but he said nothing as Brian continued.Just then, a series of revelations suddenly hit Van Dyke like irresistibly powerful thunderbolts. Brian angrily took out his cock from underneath his trousers while quietly growling out loud: "You like it.. you like it... don't you?!" as he kept slapping Van's balls. With absolutely no hesitation, he started getting off with an eerie whispering mutter: "He used a giant broccoli to smash her skull in while singing a song about vegetables!! GOD IT'S SO FUCKING SEXY. I'M GONNA FUCKING CUM, THE BLOOD, THE SCREAMS, AARGGG!!!", and thus Brian started ejaculating viciously all over the sound equipment with his mouth agape moaning as Van realizes the true horror:"EGADS! Brian was adjudged to the culpable author of solicitor vegetablecide!!" he screamed.
Alarmed by the sudden twist, Van Dyke decided to leave Brian for the second and final time.Just that moment, Deputy Nike kicked open the door and yelled out "STOP RIGHT THERE!" Stunned by the sudden entrance of a police officer, Brian and Van's balls exposed themselves to their surprise. Before Nike could do anything, Brian shouted "NOOO I'M JUST FAPPING WITH MY BRO" Nike looked at them incredulously and yelled "BULLSHIT", opening fire on Brian's genitals. A fraction of a second after being shot in his scrotum, Brian felt every piece of metallic shrapnel pierce through every inch of his body and explode outward at an incredible rate. Screams echoed through walls as a bloody mist of flesh and gore splattered against them. His limp body convulsed uncontrollably in spasm as his lifeblood drained around him. The vile odor of burning tissue and gunpowder saturated from corner to corner.Van watched in horror as his friend was brutally killed right before him, yet still managed to maintain some semblance of sanity as he looked up at Nike.Van asked "Hast thou perchance beheld my podcast's aural transmission?"Without feeling a shred of guilt or pity for what he had done, Nike answered bluntly "Actually I wasn't even listening, I just wanted to shoot that faggot LOL! "Van, a big fan, asked ask for Deputy Nikes number with hope twinkling in his eyes. "Plea thereunto, might one solicit the desirable digits of Father Nike's telephonic communication apparatus?" he said.Hope extinguished with rapidly decreasing heart rate as instead of giving Van his phone number, Nike cheerfully tacked on a fake one instead, causing Van to cry so hard he became a serial killer! When later interviewed as to why Van Dyke raped and murdered 341 kids, he replied "In light of the egregious deceit levied by Father Nike, I assert that my journey of homicidal infanticide was an apt reaction." Alas, violence begets violence. In the end, true crime podcasters are the real criminals.
>>130035861bump
