Started a band early last year, I'm the singer and sole songwriter. It was going great, playing gigs all around our city, got songs out and an album etc etc. We weren't getting a massive fanbase or anything but it was exactly what I always wanted, an escape and some fun. Then the drummer leaves due to a commitment but we left on good terms and even still hang out occasionally so we get a new one who just so happens to be much better as a musician. The problem is, he's also a lot more forthcoming and friends with the other member of the band (from before he met me). There is more pushback and now there are situations where he keeps asking for more input. Now he wants to change the name and start getting more involved, the other guy never says anything and while it's not hostile in any way. Next week I have to go to a bar and basically lay it on thick to him that the band stays the way it is with me at the helm. As a loser in his mid twenties, this is basically my only source of being social and getting outside. It's either bend over and let this guy take away what I love doing, or just tell him straight and watch him probably walk away and most likely the other member as well. Then I'm alone again, that's the sad part. What do?
>>130121434start a blog, faggot.
>>130121434Sounds like you aren’t cut out to play in a band with other musicians
>>130121434Fire him you fucking cuck. Or your band will be bvlled by him and you'll lose it all. Like Mikael stealing Opeth
>>130121460Why?
>>130121488Because OP is operating from the perspective that then band is their personal property. Unless the members are hired by OP, they are in it for their own satisfaction as well. Why shouldn’t they have creative input?
>>130121556Because for the past year everything has been going very well while I've done it my way with the old drummer. Why should this new guy get to change the formula?
>>130121572drummer here.id never play with someone like you. i mean, ill play with anyone who can write good songs. but drums are my turf, i write em, i own them, or im out. i expect a band to be creative equals all invested in making the best art we can together. maybe id stick around if there was some perk, but doubt it.would i join a band and then start talking about changing the name? naw, thats just weird - unless i really loved the band and thought it needed a change. you could chat and say youre invested in the name and the songs, thats one thing and its totally reasonable. but if you have some other issues with your band mates on the level of creativity and their contributions, you should get that all out on the table asap.
>>130121572>very wellYou said yourself you don’t have much of a fan base>Why Because he’s a living breathing person with thoughts and feelings and not a robotOp seems like an annoying person to deal with
>>130121572Because he’s part of the band now. New member creates a new dynamic. If can’t be what it was because it has become what it is.The band is not what it was with a new member and the members aren’t your servants. You can try to copywrite your songs to protect your intellectual property perhaps but they may have a claim if you’ve recorded them as a group. I’ve seen founding members kicked out of bands by new members. You can try to force your way, try to cooperate, or quit and find a new band. My opinion is that your best option is to try to work with them. I wish you good luck
>>130121635"id never play with someone like you" - Well it's a good thing you don't then.You people always say bollocks like this, why on earth am I supposed to care? Good for you pal, I'll sleep at night just fine.
>>130121662>I’ve seen founding members kicked out of bands by new members.Lol well that aint happening, clearly whoever did let that go down was a weak man anyway.
>>130121653>Because he’s a living breathing person with thoughts and feelings and not a robotFuck me do you have a "Make love not war" sticker on the back of your car or something? When has the thoughts and feelings of another band member ever mattered or brought success? Please do enlighten me.
>>130121434>Drummer thinking he can have "more input"Its funny he thinks he can even have the right to fucking speak
>>130121715This guy gets get it.
>>130121692Politics makes for strange bed fellows. In this case the OP has already lost control of “their” band because the other members apparently aren’t feeling the same way about the drummer. If they say so, band is over or OP is kicked out
>>130121685what a response! listen to yourself cuz you sound like an ass.you asked, you got a response, and then your choice is to be a cunt.theres the answer to your situation. hope it all burns down, pal.
>>130121703When has the thoughts and feelings of another band member ever mattered or brought success?Every time human beings were involved. If you want to be the unquestioned boss, you have to pay them enough to do that
Okay then kick out your skilled drummer and be the only member of the band. Is that what you want? Someone who's skilled and is gonna be a lapdog for you. And who are you? Are you a hyper talented musician?
>OP makes thread asking "what do?" with new band member>everyone tells him he's an asshole and to work with him>"T-TTHAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN IS MY BAND THAT'S GOING NOWHERE FAST F-FUCK YOU GUYS!!!!"great thread OP
>>130121556Shut up retard
Post your music OP if it's shit then you're wrong if it's good then the drummer is wrong
>>130121983HahahaGood luck with that.
>>130121739I mean it's literally impossible for me to be kicked out since it's my project and I have access to all the socials so nah.
>>130121743Wah wah, hope the 2009 volkswagon passatt is worth it mate
>>130121790A lapdog who's slightly less talented like the old drummer would be more than adequate.
>>130122075>deliberately making his band worse to satisfy his egoYou're not gonna get anywhere ever
>>130122048the other members quitting and forming a new band without you under a new name is not impossible at all. Calling me a retard won’t change that. I’m not trying to scare you. I’m trying to answer the question you asked.
>>130122115Already thought of that possibility but they couldn't steal my songs at least.
>>130122101More to make things run smoothly and not get bogged down going through this crap for months only to feel like I've lost control completely.
>>130122142Arguing with me is pointless. Did they record those songs with you? (Album was mentioned) If you aren’t credited as the writer then that’s debatable. It seems the question you were really asking was “how do I get my way?”Well, you’re not holding all the cards now because the new guy brought other options with him. You can only deal with the situation as it is. Again I suggest you attempt to cooperate. If the new guy was supposed to play what he was told and not have say, that should have been plain from the beginning.
>>130121715kys austin you ngmi fag
>>130122230The Raped Drummer Convention is at a nearby Hilton buddy.
>>130122216It is not a debate as I recorded all the songs myself ages ago. If you wanna phrase it like that then sure go for it. I don't know why I should attempt to cooperate. I am the center of the universe after all. I thought it was implied as his entry to the band was pretty rushed due to prior commitments so he just picked up where the old one left off so now here we are.
>>130122282If you have prior recording, then great. You have a way to demonstrate your intellectual property I’m not trying to argue with you. I’m trying offer perspective. “I’m not sure why I should cooperate “Because that’s the reality you face. The band members don’t get paid beyond having a creative outlet. If you try to force them it will fall apart because they have no reason to just do what you want. Even if you make it work by forcing it once, it won’t last that way. You are not the center of the universe. Contracts don’t work on implication. It is a contract. You made an offer and he accepted on the terms of him being a band member.What you expected is not a term of the contract and you have no recourse to that. Have you talked to the other members?
>>130122282When I say cooperate that doesn’t mean you have to give up your position either. A band is a real democracy as everyone is involved voluntarily and anyone can leave voluntarily as well but you all get say and that’s ultimately the point
>>130122507All the best bands aren't a democracy, I'm in this to try and make a small career out of it. I'd rather be known as a dick if it gets me somewhere. Anyway the reality is this, next week I have to tell him straight that this is my band. What happens next I don't know, I'm preparing for the worst outcome really.
>>130122867ngmi
>>130122867You seem pretty stupid and dislikeable in an amusing way so please come back and tell us how it went
I’ve heard this story before OP… https://youtu.be/BUibOVjlSn4https://youtu.be/UiRXBxTZxXM
>>130123678Thats on you for taking me too seriously
all the best bands are full of internal conflict, then they turn to shit or break up after a couple of records
>>130121434nice blog
>new guy says you need to change the band nameI'd exile him yesterday
>>130121635Thankfully drumming is the most easily replacable instrument with AI and things like bethoveen black beauty samples etc
>>130122867You seem like an asshole. You come on here asking for advice and then act like a bitch to anyone who replies. This makes you sound like a terrible bandmate.>>130123914Then you pull "I was only pretending to be an autistic control freak" out of your ass. At this point I'm rooting for the drummer to kick you out.
>>130122867>I'm in this to try and make a small career out of it.oh so you actually are now? then go ahead, lay your foot down, tell everyone you're in creative control, that if you don't like it you can leave, watch them leave and form a new band and spread the news that you think you're the next dave mustaine and are going to make it big on the back of others. go ahead.
>>130122867>I'd rather be known as a dick if it gets me somewhere.You've got to pick your battles. Do you want to be known as a dick early in your career? You've got to make the choice if this is a career-making talk with your drummer or not.
>>130121434Go out and have a great night with these guys, acting like you're willing to discuss and consider their ideas. Then, when things are going well, offer the drummer some heroin or meth, depending on the vibe. Get him hopelessly hooked on the shit. Tthen, when his life is falling apart, point out that he's in no shape to make any decisions for the band. You're welcome.
>>130127319I can't answer if it will be, but it will be the talk that lets him know where he stands. Which will most likely mean I'm alone for another fucking summer.
>>130127749Would you mind talking a bit more about what getting more involved looks like? Is it in arrangements? Songwriting?
>>130127772To be honest I don't even know myself as it's never been fully explained. All I know is, he wants a new name and wants to riff songs in the studios instead of me bringing everything to them as a finished product already. Now that we've had a bunch of retard arguing on this thread let me be honest. I completely understand where they're both coming from. They travel and pay money to come play my songs. I have had it my own way for over a year now and it's been the best experience ever in a band. It's just annoying that now all that fun is over and I have to deal with the realities that I can't be in charge the entire time. Problem is, I'm all or nothing so if I can't figure out a way through this, I'm pretty much doomed to spend another summer alone. Last year didn't involve anything major, but I was finally getting out the house more and it was amazing. All good things come to an end I guess
>>130127872>I'm pretty much doomed to spend another summer alone. good. with your attitude you deserve it. as others have already said ITT: band members are not automatons that want to blindly follow instructions. it's a democratic process. you're not dave mustaine. you don't have the musical cachet to hire 3 other session musicians that always do as they're told (if you did, you would have done it already). if you think you do, then go ahead and tell the rest of the band to pound sand if they don't like it. watch them form another band and then (rightfully) tarnish your reputation in your local scene. then watch how hard it is to get new band members when they all know you're a control freak faggot that's unbearable to be around.i really don't understand why you made a thread asking for advice and then have multiple tantrums when no one here is lapping on your dick and validating your god complex.
>>130128014NTA but he sounds neuroatypical, to put it nicely. The real issue seems to be that he's a shut in (judging from his comments about getting out of the house finally) and this band is probably the first time he's had control over anything. It's also likely that he doesn't have great social skills (as evidenced by his replies ITT.)So here we are, he's encountering some friction for the first time and can't comprehend that other musicians might have musical ideas.As for the band name, maybe the drummer is right that and they have a totally shitty name that's holding them back. And maybe Anon is a musical genius who is able to bring fully formed amazing songs to rehearsals. But in my experience, someone brings in a riff, or some lyrics...some idea for the song and the others try to add their own ideas to make something out of it.Either way, I am going to become their jewish manager and turn his tight lil bussy out if they want to play at the Battle of the Bands this July.
>>130127872Why not just keep some of your stuff as solo material? You can try the way the drummer is suggesting for a while and decide objectively if the material done that way is better for performances or on record or whatever, but you can always just keep some stuff back and self-produce it. Ideally, your name will grow as the band's name grows. You're not trapped or anything.Don't change your name, though, thats a terrible idea if you already have fans.
>>130128258In my experience "bringing in a riff" and having everyone work on it together only ever results in derivative music that has medicore transitional material. Things need a heirarchy and music is sorely lacking in people willing and able to play supporting roles. You actually have to be a better player than average for that ironically enough.
>>130128864You sound like you are high on your farts. I only play jazz where communication between players is important. Not just some squirt like you trying to dominate.Good luck with your band though.
>>130121434I'm going to play devil's advocate and say that I doubt a drummer has any actual decent songwriting skills. "Riffing in the studio" sounds like a waste of money if you're not actually recording anything final.
>>130128258Lmao ignorance is bliss I guess, yes I am a neurodivergent man but I have a lot of social experience. It's more a matter of choice than most things, I've had a lot of issues over the years that's led me to being a shut in. I've played in loads of bands over the years whether it be the leader or just a player. At the age I am now, this is all I want to do. Please do show me the way jew god, I will gladly convert for enough shekels. Oy vey oy vey
>>130127872You were right in your original post. You are a loser.
>>130129986OP probably meant “riffing at practice” instead of “in studio”. Another reason that they don’t know what they are talking about. You don’t either, you should’ve noticed his intent. And drummers can be excellent songwriters, you shouldn’t generalize just because you don’t understand what you are talking about.
>>130130096Are you from Toronto?
>>130130136Are you drummer in OP's band? You've spent a lot of time seething in this thread
>>130121434just throw him a bone or two like the Beatles did to Ringo
>>130130238Why are you replying to yourself like that?
>>130128864What experience?
>>130122867All the best bands aren’t a democracy Yes they are or they aren’t bands. Thats literally what a band is - a band of musicians- Banded together Total control only happens if you hire musicians with the understanding that it’s a job to do as they are told. You don’t know what you’re doing or what you’re talking about. You’re just imagining bullshit to support what you want to be true but it has nothing to do with the actual truth. You’re going to fail.
>>130130463He’s already failed
>>130121434Are you committed to the name? Then stick to your guns and be ready to get some new band mates. This gets tricky if you are a shitty lead man/writer because a talented drummer can easily steal a show. If, however, you don't suck in the eyes of your average audience member, you are rightfully in the driver's seat. Act like it and be prepared to replace members who don't do it your way. Instead of sulking that life sucks, work on your song craft and or good old fashioned music theory. Pour your pain into it and you will get the audience to cry. It gets surreal when you can surprise them with a sad original and they all start tearing up. Just make sure you have some happy, hopeful ones to bring them back.
>>130130147This isn’t the first time OP has ranted about his lack of success on /mu/
