>be driving for work>see a chevy trax>say to myself "yeah that trax, that chevy trax">laugh to myself>now can't stop myself from saying it even when I'm driving with other people
>>28909178>see a kia telluride>I can tell u ridin a kia lmao
whenever i pass by an ev i downshift causing my exhaust to backfire and i time it so that it happens right as my tailpipe passes by their drivers window. sometimes if i'm at a high enough rpm it will literally sound like a gunshot and i lol.
>see a new Caddy Lyric>start singing in falsetto 'nights like this don't come looking for me'
>>28909178>in traffic>get bored>start attempting to "sing" jingle bells using my engine>pull up to traffic lights>car next to me keeps edging forward in anticipation of the lights changing>start wildly revving and lurching forward like I'm in a shitty racing movie, trying to make eye contact as I do>light turns green>calmly pull away and pretend that nothing ever happened>someone in the middle lane on the motorway>overtake them>move back over into lane 1>slow down enough to let them pass>pull back out into lane 3 and overtake again>move back over into lane 1>slow down enough to let them pass>pull back out into lane 3 and overtake again>keep circling them like this until they notice what I'm doing or until I may impede other road usersI have no idea why I'm built like this, but it's all harmless and somewhat entertaining to me.
>>28909178>Autistic shit you do in trafficI always have to point out another car of the same model as the one I'm driving, even if there's no one else riding with me.I also greet the car when boarding it and thank it after arriving to my destination.
>>28909178I always pass people on the right where I can. I live in the Netherlands. Up until like 10 years ago people kept right except to pass, but recently people have been slacking. Sometimes I'm passing 20+ cars a day.
>>28909178>Set radar cruise>Dozens of cars in front>Even more in the slow lane>Some fag in a tiny cuck bubble>Decides to tailgate my fuckhuge transit van>"yea bro, riding my ass is gonna make them drive faster"
>>28909178I drive at 55mph on the interstate even though i can go faster
>>28909420>have to point out another car of the same model I always say hi to my twins.>greet the car when boarding it and thank it after arriving to my destinationGlad I'm not the only one.
>>28909420>>28909673>I also greet the car when boarding it and thank it after arriving to my destination.I should probably start doing this myself
Constantly watching for retarded people looking down at their phones, especially the fuckers driving behind me.Spend the next few minutes wishing they'd drive off into a ditch and hoping they didn't reproduce.
>>28909687Maybe you should keep your eyes on the road
>>28909691It's called situational awareness. Have you not heard of defensive driving?I stopped riding my motorcycle around my city after seeing the increase of distracted drivers year after year. I'm not getting rear ended at red light because a retard couldn't wait an extra few minutes to send a text.
I profile potentially shit drivers based off make/model so I can better drive defensively. For example:>GM CUV/sedan, any subaru (except wrx), mercedes CUVSenile boomer driving slow as shit but usually doesn't camp in passing lane and uses turn signals>muscle cars (bmw, tesla, dodge, etc) or any pickup trugg40 percent chance of brownoid driving intoxicated, not using turn signals, and tailgating. 60 percent white/east asian who drives civilized (fast in passing lane or speed limit in right lane)>toyota/hondaToss up between brown retard going slow in passing lane with highbeams or white/east asian who drives civilized (fast in passing lane or speed limit in right)>altimaMostly brown retards
>>28910076>I profile potentially shit drivers based off make/model so I can better drive defensively.That is the most normie non-autist thing ever.
>>28909178>pull up next to a challenger 392 SRT with fuckhuge brembo brakes in my slow ass car>"heh, I'd like to challenge it"
>>28909178I usually start singing Frank Sinatra's fly me to the moon
>>28909178I pretend that I'm a car myself and use my finger as my tach
i read number plates and make up anagrams and acronyms
>>28910086>normie non-autist thing ever.Not really, normal fags don't think that deeply.
>wiggle shifter>wiggle some more>wiggle it an extra time>eyup it's in neutral alright>wiggle it again for luck
>>28909634Get the fuck out of the left lane, retard. Move over if you're just going to camp there and watch like the little cuck you are.
>>28910196All normalfags think about is "what race / gender / income level" is driving a given car. That's not very deep thinking and is genuinely how most normal Americans operate - why focus on the road when you could assume someone's car is a statement about race and class in America? That is the most normie thing ever.Autists just drive and look at cars, an autist is just a non-malicious sociopath, they don't care who anyone is but they don't want to hurt you.
>>28910202shake it once it's fineshake it twice that's okshake it three times, you're playing with yourself again
>>28909178>Autistic shit you do in trafficI......wait for it..I watch the road and monitor my immediate surroundings while driving to the conditions to avoid a collision instead of staring at my speedometer to avoid a fine. As such I get fined a lot. But I'd rather be safe than legal.
I like to play the game of keep dispersion while not hitting the brakes. Just a slow constant smooth move. Or ill put on NPR and rage and yell at the radio
>>28910205>All normalfags think about is "what race / gender / income level" is driving a given car.No, anon.That's not even close to being correct.Retards from 4chan think that way.Our pattern recognition is too powerful.
>>28909420I always point out my car to itself too. And my car tells me goodbye when I turn it off.
>>28910202you gottayou just have toWhat if it isn't actually in neutral???
>>28910202>Always park the car in gear>Get out, do shit>Get in car>Knock it into neutral>Wiggle check>Clutch down>Start engineWhy the hell do I always start clutch down! I've somehow convinced myself it's good for the engine because it takes strain off when starting!
I say "oh no..." like a gta 5 pedestrian whenever I see a tesla
>tires even suggesting they're at the limit of grip>"skrrrrr"
>>28909235dude this is obviously false you're a child
>>28910497Nuh uh, I got my license and everything. See?
If I see a black pedestrian I have to say NIGGER to myself
>>28910663you are hereby formally invited to join the /o/ pit crew as a lifetime memb-waitguys look, over there>hushed cacaphony of nigger commences
>>28910663Keep saying it to yourself lil timmy, cuz if I hear you're losing teeth
>>28910688I don't provoke shitbulls either, stay fragile, monkey.
>>28910694>I'm a scared little bitchYeah gng, we know
You are just pretending to be autistic.
