Have you ever been CAUGHT innawoods doing something against the rules by a forest janny? If so, what were you doing wrong, and what was your punishment?
>>2849778I was scolded for leaving the trail a couple of times. Both times were on federal land. This has never happened in either of the states where I do well over 90% of my outdoor recreation. The state forest rangers that I've spoken with had zero issues with people exploring areas off-trail as long as basic LNT is practiced (burying your shit properly, not littering, not camping near roads or trails, stuff like that). Meanwhile, the feds get their panties all in a bunch over it. Lame.
I had to pay a $25 fine for parking without a sticker. I was confused because I didn't see any signs indicating I needed a sticker and the trail was deep in the woods. But then I saw the forest janny patrolling in his truck.
>>2849800just curious where was this, and how were you supposed to get a sticker and for how much?
>>2849790You should have told him to frig off and walked away in whichever direction took your fancy.
>>2849778Kind of. Was a 16 year old old kid who shot a deer and, after getting it, threw it in the back of a pickup and drove it to my grandpa's farmhouse to use the spigot to wash it out before I tagged it. A conservation agent name (i shit you not) Sam Gunner rolled in and tried to get me with "transporting a deer without a tag:. I had driven it maybe a hundred yards on pavement from the field to the farmhouse. My uncle who had been a corpsman in Vietnam and still had shrapnel in hit gut politely implied to him that hunting accidents happen all the time and people dont like it when you fuck with kids. This was early 2000s so cell coverage was dick and most people didn't have them. The conservation agent decided to give me a warning and fuck off
>>2849846>Sam Gunner rolled in and tried to get me with "transporting a deer without a tag:. I had driven it maybe a hundred yards on pavement from the field to the farmhouse.true fed behaviorinteresting story, ty
>>2849790>Both times were on federal landWhere?
>>2849778no, but I do snitch on people I don't like :)
>>2849863GAYYYYYGAYYYYYYYYYYYY
the snitch instinct in the common man empowers glowies, and brings society to a halt/dictatorship/collapse faster
you don't need an interloper between you and the people you don't likejust confront them
>>2849778Some lady spotted me while I was jerking off. I ran so fast back to my car and drove away before she could report me or anything.
>>2849778Rules? What are you, a cuck? Nature has no rules. When Im outside of the civilized zones, it's every man and beast for himself.
>>2849871A month and a half ago or something, I was horny af while fishing. I was contemplating jerking off on an island smaller than the queen size bed I'm on right now. I was also sizing up a couple other sites nearby. But I've seen several people in this area and decided against it. A little while later a dad and his sons came by. I'm very glad I did not jerk off. Shitting and pissing is one thing. Jerking off in a tent or car too. But it would be really bad to be caught spanking your monkey in the middle of nowhere. If there's any place other than in a private room to do it, it would be the middle of nowhere, but that's not how people will see it.
I've enjoyed many a time a nature wank and never been caught. Growing up i lived in a rural coastal area and every few days after school I would ride my bike down to a headland where I could sit on a tree stump and wank off while overlooking the ocean with no one in sight. Or if people were in sight i would easily see them way before they saw me. Now i live in a more densely populated area and sometimes if i get out for a hike early in the morning when there's no one around i still manage to have a quick pull. The adrenaline makes me coom quicker so it usually only takes a couple of minutes.
>>2849905I had a fisherman and his son walk up on me and a gal moments away from fucking. Worst blue balls of my life.Probably my fault for getting into it by a lake not super far innawoodsGlad you dodged your close encounter
>>2849778Where was this taken? White Mountains?
>>2850004buck's pocket state park in NE Alabamayou know you could have searched the file name...
>>2849790>federal landNational Forest, BLM: explicitly allowedNational Park: cardinal sin
i accidentally wandered into a military live artillery firing range once, some army dudes drove up to me and told me to gtfo
>>2850046holy shitthere was a malcolm in the middle episode about that lol
>>2849909Did you get to nut later that day at least? That sounds pretty shitty.
>>2850048never seen the show, it was pretty funny, first just one guy being very VERY confused about who i was and why i was there, then a bunch of walkie-talkie back and forth. apparently i was about 30 minutes from getting blown up
also camped where we apparently train police/military dogs, got woken up in my tent by fierce barking, and a guy yelling that i should stay in, waited for things to calm down and he gave me the word, the dog was just a puppy and the soldier was very apologetic
>>2850049I did, but it was too late. The pain didn't fade for another hour or so.
>>2849778I'm not retarded, so I don't get caught.
>>2849871>>2849905>>2849906>>2849909Am I the only one who doesn't get horny to nature?
>>2849896this
>>2850061Put the truth out there in the table.
>>2850050>apparently i was about 30 minutes from getting blown updamn..that's good they noticed you atleast
>>2850063No it's pretty normal to not get horny when outside unless you're some kind of porn degenerate who is making a sex tape out in the woods with their gf.
>>2850046When we were about 15 my friends and I wandered into an active nuclear facility. It boarders the acreage my father owns. We were riding dirt bikes in the woods and had no idea we crossed into one. The back side didn’t have signs posted. Turns out even if there are signs, the signs are put up past the actual boarder so by the time you’re reading one you’re already on their land. A helicopter landed in a field and guys came running up to us with m4/m16s or whatever they were. My dad wasn’t even mad and tells the story about how the navy brought us home and made this huge deal about kids hanging out in the woods.
>>2849778ive told this story before but the first and only time i took meth i thought it was a good idea to go for a hike anyway i guess a side effect of it is that you have piss like a racehorse and sometimes when i have to go pee badly i get an erection so i figured no one was around it was a week day and a ways out so i just pulled my pants down, boner and all and started peeing in the middle of the trail, when i hear a man telling his dog to be quiet and i look to me immediate left afew metres up the hill side and a man and his dog are sitting there watching me lol
>>2850063>>2850390I never have while /out/ but I think it would be different if I were with company
>>2850390I busted inside the pudgy office latina a few times when we would "hike"
I'm confused, American national parks don't let you wander off the trails? Here in cancuckland, I've never heard of that being an issue. We have "crown lands" where you just pull up and can hike/camp where ever.I guess to prevent vegetation from getting trampled? Or is it some lame safety thing?
>>2850548>prevent vegetation from getting trampledCorrect
>>2850548Imagine if all those Indians suddenly discover summer camping though. Just imagine. The shrill tortured sound of those women as they sing out of that loudspeaker - with ads in hindi of course - and the stench of the food as it wafts through the maple trees. There would be nothing left of the place after they packed up, apart from all the garbage, ALL of it, which is now just carpeting the forest floor like demonic leaf litter. See, they civilised your forest with all that plastic, they looked over it with pride before they left, and saw that it was even better now.
>>2850559Fortunately they mostly stick to car camping in the provincial parks or the gay private campgrounds closest to the cities, so you can simply drive an hour or two out of a city to avoid them, but yeah I went to Darlington Provincial Park near Toronto once and it was a nightmare
>>2850548This is only in frontcountry parts of some national parks and state parks. Its just to keep people on trails in the most highly trafficked places to yes protect vegetation. Cross country travel is allowed in most national parks, and most all forest service or BLM land, which also allow dispersed camping. Do you think hunters stick to the trail?
No rangers where I live, but I live in a super remote Alaskan community where a lot of the natives think I'm not allowed to go /out/ because I'm white or something. I usually play "bush ninja" whenever I hear vehicles coming. Just duck into the bushes on the side of the road, call my dog to me, and wait for them to pass. The "punishment" for getting caught is getting screamed at by a methhead and summarily called by my boss who will remind me that, while I AM allowed to walk around and go outside, maybe try to do it in a way that honors the indigenous spirit of the land :)(read: don't be seen or heard by anyone living here.)I wear a GoPro at all times outside because the last methhead told my boss that I screamed racial slurs at him, so I have videos of me playing bush ninja but /out/ won't let me post
Not by a ranger, but I was once caught having sex while camping by a family hiking. I regret it very much, because there was a kid with them.
>>2850834slap a > before the link, like this:>https://catbox.moe
>>2850834Shoot, shovel, shut up.
>>2850841Good way to attract FBI attention. No thanks.
>last month>Great Smoky Miuntain NP>AT section hike through the park, southbound>5 nights, about 75 miles>day 3 >pull something in my leg like 2 miles into that day>hurts and slowing me down, but not too bad>make it to a shelter at like 2pm, realize it’s slowing me way the fuck down and I wouldn’t make it to the next one until midnight>hurting much, much worse too>Ranger chilling in the shelter>chatting with everyone there>”well, I guess I can check everyone’s permits”>tell him there’s no way I’d make it to the next shelter (where I have a permit)>”no problem Anon, we’ll just alter your permits”That’s really it because I’m not a rule breaking nigger. The guy was a total bro too, chatting it up with the other hikers, talking about the guns they where open carrying, shooting paintballs at elk, rescuing people, hunting spots in the nearby national forests… This was my fourth trip to the area and the first time I’d even seen a Ranger, but it’s a super busy trail, and this particular shelter is only a few miles from a road crossing.
>>2850957Nice try forest jannieLol at permits
>>2849778I was camping in a pocket of woodland between some farmer's fields. It was a nice little spot, very overgrown with brambles and shrubbery and I'm 99% sure nobody had set foot in it for years, it was almost impossible to get into. But as I was leaving I saw the farmer of said field, and he saw me too. The guy proceeded to put up a piece of wood on his gate that said "Do not enter - private land" and then climbed back into his lame utility shitter mobile and fucked off. He must have seen me trekking in there the day before and decided to curdle his girdle about it over night. He didn't approach me just stood there in the near distance looking, but I was in the process of bagging everything back up by then.Fucking lame man when you just want to sleep in the woods but peepers are around looking for ramblers who definitely shouldn't walk across 1 square inch of THEIR LAND even though it's not clearly marked anyway. In MY books as long as I'm not walking past your buildings or across any of your fields then you will leave me alone to walk peacefully towards the the trees in horizon. That's how it really is isn't it?
>>2850834Yeah that's a good call. Just turn it off for a second while you get those tried and tested racial slurs off your chest, like the cops do.
>>2850975the fifth amendment does apply outside courtrooms, weirdly
>>2850967>Lol at permitsThis. How do they expect to enforce something like that?
>>2849778Shooting too close to a road. $500 ticket but they didn't confiscate our guns.If your new to an area and someone says 'its okay i shoot here all the time', don't trust them.
>>2849778I was a forest janny. Been doing ems for 4 years now, gonna try to go back for search and rescue.
>>2851017Like, how close to a road are we talking? A well used road? 500 seems a bit much >>2851020Assumedly EMS in a city then? You never rescued people from nature before? If you did, did you ever rescue someone who you felt bad for, like they had made an honest mistake and gotten stuck for no fault of their own?
>>2849778what rules? do you go to the outdoors or do you go to some gated park to larp?
>>2849896thiswhat the fuck is bro even talking about do people just go to those tent parks and think they're "outside" ?lol
>>2851259>do people just go to those tent parks and think they're "outside"?Yes according to most suburbanites. How else would the purchase of a 70k F-150 or Tahoe be justified?
>>2851320I think people buy F-150s so they can tail me while I drive to and from hiking destinations. >>2851257Unfortunately, a lot of parks these days have gates and it's a game to get in during the right hours.
>>2849778I didn't get caught by a forest jannie but one time I was with my girlfriend in the woods and we were having a picnic beside a hiking trail, and so she was sucking her protein shake out of my straw when four hikers walked by and continued on the trail like they didn't see anything. It made her super shy but I liked it.
>>2851259>>2851320My wife won't come camping with me unless i have camping booked and paid for at a campground with a toilet
>>2851325that's pretty reasonable my minimum is a rental cabin with a fridge and a freezer, a stove, a real bed with sheets, a shower and toilet, and some form of heating or cooling
>>2851326just admit that you are incapable of camping
>>2851334I've done it before and I just doubt I would get decent sleep.
>>2851334I admit that you are incapable of camping
>>2851335>I can't get decent sleep without a freezerYou have mental issues that need addressing
>>2851338I need to have iced water at all times, no matter how deep in the woods I am. I make sure to stop at gas stations regularly to get more ice. Keeps my brain cool.
>>2851336last time I went camping the weather was decent so I didn't even set up a tent, just a fold out cot with a pillow and some blankets sleeping under the stars. you wish you could go camping like me, city boy.
>>2851339Your spoiled ass doesn't know the difference between needs and wants
>>2851341i had a crazy negress host in a house share who padlocked her freezer and wouldn't let me use it, I went without ice for the night, it was extremely uncomfortable, I can do it, but I try to avoid it
>>2849778a tree fell on our wire fence and i chopped it to stand it up again without looking up the law and now i'm in violation of law because you can't fell certain trees on your own land without explicit permission nvm clearing the stuff that falls in from outside
>>2849778ok i'll try to dig up my menial storiesfirst one - 15 guys at the campground fire, smoking bubbler passing around the fire. i was in one of my "im not gonna smoke weed" episodes in life, but i broke it that time and inhaled. as soon as i inhaled, blinding light, comes right up, a woman starts badgering us and saying eventually that we're gonna get kicked out because she is a rangerit was a real graphic moment for me in terms of it being like a slap in the face cosmic joke by the universeok heres the funny one that im so glad i rememberedwe were on a coastal camp in californiame and the 7 buddies, all weed smokers and psychedelic users, and we brought shroomswe grind them all up in our weed grinder. hilarius right?ok so we use the technique lemon tek, and we add lemon juice straight to our individual cups of mushroom powder. we all do this.ranger comes up, relatively quickly, and drives through teh camps. we're all suprised and didnt realize in time to make a group effort. ranger walks up to the campground, getting out of the car. has a conversation with us for 5 minutes, and we literally had shroom cups scattered openly through the camp. i had mine on a solitary post, it was quite obvious.
>>2851021NTA but I've done a few rescues for people that were in shit situations through no fault of their own. Most rescues in my county are for retards though.
I got caught jerking off I dont want to talk much more about it but yes exactly what you think. Someone managed to sneak up on me and we were both as startled as each other.
>>2850562I was hinting in western alberta, when a truck full of jeets pulled up next to me asking if I saw any deer. I told them to fuck off.
>>2849778A park ranger once watched me cum into my girlfriend prone bone on a blanket, then started slow clapping when I rolled off of her. No idea how long he was there. He told us to get dressed and either be quiet or bring a tent next time.
>>2851341Seems like he rolls mdma a lot
>>2851021Rural, but not wilderness. I went on a search and wellness check on a couple of autistic kids, one non verbal. They decided to up and take off. Thank God it was summer. Parents lived in a trailer out in bfe and basically bordered the woods out by devil's den state park. Dogs find them, we put them in our ambulance to check their vitals. Oh my God, the first time I ever wanted to steal a couple of kids. They kept showing me the toys they brought with them, and they weren't even scared. It was like another walk down the street for them, playing with their toys. Their aunt put in the report after stopping by to visit, the kids' parents were methheads and passed out after being on a 5 day binge. The state ended up taking those kids, and I pray they got somewhere better.
