Pray for mercy the skinwalker wont smell me.

>>2849803
Use God's bidet, of course.

Find a tree, preferably one that's on a bit of a hill. Squat and hold on to the tree. This is so that you don't shit in your pants. Pissing outside is great, very liberating. Shitting outside sucks, but sometimes, it's got to be done.

>>2849803
strip completely naked, casually stroll with a revolver in one hand and a small shovel with a roll of toilet paper over the handle until I find a suitable clear spot, squat and shit, and then wipe and bury it. it would be nice to dig a small hole first, but diarrhea doesn't permit that.
>>2849805
>skinwalker
after smelling my scent he'll be more afraid of me than I am of him

>>2849803
Just lean my with back against the tree with my trousers reassuringly far away from the stream, and then the floodgates open. Use fallen leaves to wipe if necessary. Then if it's a big pile of evil I'll put a branch over it.

>>2849803
I have an emergency forest shitting kit in my backpack at all times. A small roll of TP, hand sanitizer, and a nitril glove. All wrapped in a plastic bag. Wouldn't go without it.

>>2849803
I just do a headstand (remove pants first) and let 'er rip, with the wind of course

>>2849803
that's what rivers are for bro.

>>2849803
I go to as a slope and then poop.
I only poop on slopes in general, everything rolls down. Plus nothing piles up (it gets very troublesome)

>>2849803
Pull my pants down, squat, and push with as much force as I can to see how far I can spray it.
Next time this unfortunate event happens I'm going to try and spray all over a tree.
Thanks for the thread and idea.

>>2849803

>the air on your exposed bunghole
>a beautiful view as far the eye can see
>the interested buzzing of small animals and insects

there is no experience more liberating than answering nature's call. I want you all to enjoy your next /out/poo

>>2849803
I usually just find the nearest water source and go there. Flowing streams are the most comfortable. If the water’s moving fast enough, I don’t even need toilet paper. And if I do use any, it breaks down pretty quickly in the water anyway. If I'm not near any water, I usually poop on hiking trails. I know you're supposed to go off trail like 200 feet or whatever but thats such a hassle and I'd rather not get poked in the ass by sticks and grass when I squat down.

>>2849923
>ladies and gentlemen, we got him!
https://www.backpacker.com/news-and-events/news/norovirus-outbreak-2025-appalachian-trail/

>>2849820
based shitmaxxer

>>2849803
Portable bidet

>>2849803
>find a stick
>dig a little hole next to a tree (with a trunk about as thick as you leg)
>hold onto the tree while squatting over the hole
>release the kraken
>clean ass with something other than poison ivy
>close hole with some dirt

>>2849803
whats with the fixation on struggling with bowel movements on this board? just go poo wipe yourself with some moss and carry on with your walk, its not a complicated thing dude

what should one do when there's no soap

Just shit your pants.

>>2850707
but i like my pants

>>2850709
Be a man. Just shit your pants

>>2849803
I don't go into the woods when i have diarrhea or eat sketchy shit that would give me it?

Stay at home

>>2850711
Be a pants, Just man your shit.

As an avid /out/shitter with a trained metabolism that enables me to need to take a dump upon 15 minutes of me waking up veryday, ive gathered some great intel and tips on this.

>Slopes with trees are great for leg muscle relief, either lean on it or hold on to the tree and angle yourself
>Carrying a pack of tissues in your pants never hurts and saves nerves and time
>when no slope is near, a fallen tree is almost as comfortable as a toilet seat
>when its raining, no slope or fallen tree is near, most needle trees provide a semi-dry atmosphere beneath them
>make sure you pee first, otherwise you may have to bend your dick weirdly while squatting

>>2849923
Shitty bait (literally)

>>2850712
Oh get a load of Mr Spectacular over here. Has never had to take an unexpected shit. Hail to the king.

>>2850912
I have also trained my body to shit almost immediately upon waking up. Thought I was the only one.

>>2849803
I walk off the trail for 10 minutes, find a rock to flip over on flat ground to prevent runoff. Shit in the hole left from the rock. Wipe ass with TP and put it in the hole. Put the rock back.

If I can't hold it, I still try to get as far away from the trail as possible, spray my shit on the ground. Relieved, I can now take my time to dig a hole next to the shit, and then I shovel the shit into the hole with a flat object like a rock, put the rock in and fill the hole with dirt and leaves.

>>2849803
I always pick a tree for shitting as I want to squat and lean and am lazy. I dig a small hole at the base of the tree and shit into there. Post that I drop a fire starter and torch my poo (RIP shitbaby). Then I bury the remnants and have a merry day. Technically speaking we should probably look into drying some bacteria culture that'll eat the poo poo for maximum preservation

>>2850257
why do i need to bury my shit? im not a cat.

/out/ing made me ditch toilet paper for water and bidets
>inb4 SAAAAAR

>>2849803
Put a condom to your bumhole, shit into it, tie a knot, and then use it for self defence against bears and other hikers.

Directly into a fresh water source so I can wash myself after

>>2849923
YOU'RE A FUCKING MENACE YOU KNOW THAT

Diarrhoea is actually one of the cleanest ways to defecate. It's a liquid, and easily cleaned. You just need another liquid, or something wet to wipe it off.
It's arguably worse to do a regular shit that sticks to the anus and cheeks and needs a ton of wiping. Those fucking marker pen shits...

>>2851925