Back in 2008 I was 13 years old when my dad decided to pack up the family and move from Alaska to the lower 48. It was a 5 day journey, being stuck in a minivan with 3 other siblings with nothing but junk food like chips and poptarts. Here are a couple of quick (but boring) incidents on the road.>outside Alaskan border in Yukon.>family stops around mid-day to eat at diner>It looked exactly like a fantasy gnome forest, enormous pine trees so dense I looked dark in the day>after we head across the road to a trail leading to a hotsprings.>bout 20 people there and my family is standing on the walk dipping our toes in the water and boiled their toes off>Canadians laughing at the American clowns that didnt know hotsprings had a temperature gradient.>leave embarrassed another>stopped in Canadian small town with a pig factory to sleep in a parking lot>stench so aweful it was difficult to sleep, kinda like smoke but mixed with dogfood and garbage>1am>wake up with insane cramps and knew I had to blow shit out of my keister>look outside>literal serial killer port-a-john in front of the dark woods>losing the battle>quickly unfurl a doritos bag and sit sideways on the seat with one buttcheek hanging of so i have sort of half a seat>eject a butternut squash into the bag>one of the biggest doodies i ever did makeroll up bag and drop out the window.> the Janitors face when
