you’re on the air.
>>516633993>Hi yes I was just wondering..BABABOOEY BABABOOEY HOWARD STERN'S PENIS
Did you know Godzilla can basically run 300+ mph? You would need a Bugati just to keep up with him.
THERE ARE PLENTY OF PMACES THEY CAN BE MOVED TO NOW! ART.
>>516633993I am a nigger. I have a nigger brain. Inside of my nigger brain is three concepts. Rape, murder and selling drugs. I will live out my existence as the niggerest of niggers and when I die, people will know me by the color of my skin.
>>516633993I accidentally came inside my mother what do I do?
>>516633993I don't have much time, the idf is hunting me as I speak with you - it's always the jews, and it's gonna get worse...
timmy won't do shit and white women were made for Big Indian Cock
>>516633993>you’re on the air.https://youtube.com/shorts/PMOm1PVNlos?feature=share
>>516633993What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
>>516633993Hello Art, did you notice a disturbance in the force today? It was lik3 millions of voices suddenly cried out 'saar, do not redeem'.
>>516634223This should be pasta
You are correct.
>>516633993If I’m allergic to fresh marijuana flower what is the non allergic form of thc?
>>516634306A boomer in 1993 would just react to the statement with confusion and bewilderment
>>516633993Well, I have quite a thing to tell you this evening. I have, what I can only describe, as an alien creature living in my outhouse. I know that's quite a claim. But let me explain how I have come to this conclusion.There was a meteor that appeared in the sky above my house a couple weeks ago. And ever since then, there has been a presence, some sort of strange occult being occupying my outhouse.I have not been able to poop there ever since. Every time I go near the outhouse, a terrible feeling of dread comes over me and a feeling of nausea wells up in my gut. And it just continues to get worse until I leave the area.I've been staring at the outhouse all day and every once in a while, I get a glimpse of motion happening inside, as if there is some sort of creature moving around inside the structure. It's too big to be a cat or racoon, and it does not appear to be human.The only conclusion I have been able to come to is that that meteor was, in fact, an alien spacecraft, that landed here. And an alien being from that craft has taken up residence -- hopefully temporary -- in my outhouse, for what ultimate purpose I have been unable to determine. But it is clear to me that it is there, disrupting my ability to poop in peace. And as far as I can tell this being has no intention of leaving.
>>516633993Aliens in Mexico3I/Atlas is comingIsrael shot KirkI can't handle it! I can't handle it! I'm flying over the Antarctic right now and I - pshshshshshshshshsshhshshshshshshshshshshshshshshs
There's something above my aircraftIt's hovering...and it's not an aircraft...
Hey Art. First time listener. Habitual caller. I woke up last night with a terrible headache. I lay there with my eyes open debating if I should go get me a glass of water until I noticed a faint glow coming from my side. I though it was my phone. When I turned around to turn that stupid thing off I saw a humanoid figure sitting not far from my bed with its legs pulled up and its chin resting on its knees. Just as I got on my elbow for a better view I blacked out. Today I got paid a visit by two weirdos in black. They invited themselves in my house and grilled me for about 5 min. As he was talking his makeup started running - whitish stuff ran from his temples down to his lips. The whole reddish goo, then, ran down his chin. He didn't make an attempt to wipe his face. Then one I thought was asleep the whole time abruptly stood up and walked out to the porch. The other one kept sitting until he, too, stood up suddenly, gave me a weird stare for about 5 sec and followed his friend. They, then, got in their vintage car and drove off. It happened not even 5 min ago, Art. I am still shaken by the experience.
When Art died, everything went apeshit. Seriously. Like God was having the last laugh.
>>516633993Hey Art. My country is being invaded by monkeys and people covered in black bedsheets and they claim to be human. Poop in the streets and used toilet paper in the trash cans. What the hell is going on?
>>516633993I... I have a special friend and he's, uh, the Baby Jesus. And I love him. And, uh, he don't give me no shit. And he... he don't fuck around. And he's just the fucking coolest guy and... I, I just, I wanna say I love the Baby Jesus. I, I can't say it enoughAnyway, I love the Baby Jesus, and I think, uh, he's the best... thing. And that he's really, it's really great when he shares his love, because, um, he's got enough love for everybody. You know what I mean?Yeah, he's like... I can't even see a manger without thinking about him, eh?Yeah, I, I just... I love him. I just love the Jesus and I just thought I'd phone up and just... uh, you know? Uh, I only been into him for a couple of hours, though, but I'm really into him
>>516633993>hey art err long time caller first time listner>uhh ha hah yea so art i think i found them>"woah ha ha whats them caller and whats your name your on the air">ohh yea i mean i really would like some advice on this one art i caught a pixie in a jar>" A pixe from the fairtale's well i gotta tell ya iv never heard that one before">yea i was errr cloud fishing in my crop duster and i caught a pixie art it keeps talking about the watcher's and how were going to get in troublekek
>>516633993Hey Art, there's this guy in New York City, his name's Epstein, he's been raping little girls with Donald Trump, yeah Trump, he has this island, Little James I think it's called, in the Virgin Islands...
>>516636586>#garbleed "yull be sorry they can see youuu" >Art it its not cute it's metallic it it bend's the light i ican see its organ's art >"Well that's kind of creepy was that the pixie in the background">Y-yea it d dosent speak with its mouth though art it sound's like stattic but when you pick up a phone line its plain english art >"that is quite the story ""heereee theeeyy comeee" -line cutspost more art stories guys its a tradition lol
>>516637221Stories you say? I got plenty. But I gotta go get some bite first. If this thread doesn't die due to death by then I might post more shit.
hey art, first timeniggerlong timeniggerhows the wife?
>>516633993>"Hello Art, this is the International Police calling on behalf of the Republic of the Philippines. We have some questions we'd like to ask."
It'd be really cool to have an AI site where you can call in and ask Art a question and he gives you a genuine answer. Just train the LLM on all of Art's broadcasts. Worth every kilowatt.
>>516633993THE JEWS ARE IN MY FORTUNE COOKIES
>>516633993Can you play “Crazy” for me?
>>516633993Turn your radio off>>516635928Australian ufo. Classic unsolved mysteries episode.
>>516636114Yep, things were going downhill for a while but in the late 2010s collective madness took over it was like a layup to Covid mania.
>>516640648The quickening
>>516633993Thanks Art. Your guest last Thursday who talked about tryptamines was great. Which ones did he say are honkpills, and which are alien pills?
So there I was, half-asleep behind the wheel of my trusty pickup, cruising the New Jersey Turnpike at 3 a.m. Not least because of my loyal companion, Captain Happy Juice (if you catch my drift).Next thing I know, some chimpanzee-looking nightmare is sprinting alongside my truck, knocking on the damn door. I glance at the dash: 95 mph. This thing’s tongue is whipping around like a medieval battle flag, spraying spit across my passenger window like it’s trying to baptize my ride. Its long, greasy black hair is flying around like it just stuck a fork in a socket.Naturally, I did what any reasonable man would do: I floored it and prayed. Just then, some lunatic who was clearly even more drunk than me comes barreling the wrong way down the bridge. He plows straight into Monkeyzilla, knocking that thing right off the narrow span. The crash was so loud my windows exploded. I honestly thought someone had dropped a nuke on Jersey.Shaken but alive, I limped the truck to the nearest gas station, sat there bawling like a bitch, and waited for dawn. Then I rolled up to a Mexican body shop, got new windows, and pretended none of it ever happened.
>>And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."Me. The Chosen One?They chose me!And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.
>>516641925i dont play games. i dont even watch the screen. its like a movie, you dont need to be a part of it.i play with my mind. i feel the game. i dont feel the game. the game is me.its not about winning. its not about losing.
