Hello frens I have not lurked as often as I used to a few ago but buckle up I'm here to tell you the story of how the anti-trans threads have put me in the craziest position ever. When I was 16 my closest friend I looked up to a lot decided to Troon and it really traumatized me. No family and friends living in a group home I was also dealing with a growing porn addiction. Over time I got in to tranny porn and went pretty deep down the rabbit hole. I would always come on here and ended up lurking through all the extreme stuff on some of the anti-trans threads. One that particularly kind of traumatized me was the post about them using tomato paste as a period or something along those lines. I started larping as a tranny/femboy online a lot over the years and took upon the most extreme personality I could imagine since I had no intention of ever actually meeting anyone.I think very logically so a normal relationship with a man and woman is usually starting a family etc. perhaps I'm wrong (I'm mildly autistic I think) but in my extreme mind the goal of gay/trans sex is to destroy your butthole so I absorbed that in to my trans characters perks. So some of my make believe character's fetishes were very pornographic; extreme anal, fisting, gangbangs, destroying the butthole and wearing diapers like the tomato paste folks.
>>519421374Post feminine benis and bussy or GTFO
>>519421374Here's where it all went wrong, a few months ago I let this character pop in to the real world. I wanted to see what being this persona irl was like. I met some dude and just wasted his time hanging out dressed like a trap. The high was so good I did it again and fucked up..the person was doing drugs and it really scared me. I stuck around for a while and just talked to this person (honesty wasn't a bad person but the situation was really messed up and I just wanted to leave) after a while I felt safe to leave and excused myself out but I think I got some kind of contact high because I decided to walk down the street dressed like a grand theft auto hooker in a cheap wig and makeup back to my ride. I was kind of in a fight or flight mode mentally so I guess I wasn't thinking straight. Anyway, several months passed and I think this got captured on video and shared amongst community watch and other boomer Facebook groups and other social media circles. Somehow people have pieced together all of my trans larp character from chats I've had with bait accounts along with that one instance of me exposing myself. This finally made its way to my work very recently about 5 weeks ago. People at work freaked out and got scared so I confessed to the whole thing I've just explained here (except for the extreme tranny larp stuff. I just said I was a crossdresser and I put my self in a bad situation). People are curious I guess and they dug deeper and basically got to the freaky chats. Most people are currently trying to wrap their heads around it but pretty much everyone at one point recently thought I was actually a pee-pee poo-poo tranny with a destroyed butthole.
>>519421529I can't stop laughing at how funny the situation is but it's extremely fucked. I didn't mean to cause a situation that's so hard to explain to an average person. There's so many elements it needs a podcast to be explained. I don't actually have the fresky desires people think I do so I don't really care too much about what people think but it hurts me to see the trauma this has caused to the people around me..they're all normal innocent people. None of them deserved having to process such an extreme reality. I am very open to your thoughts on this situation anons. I have truly dug myself in to a very interesting hole. All driven by memes and porn. Can I still recover from this?
>>519421522no that what got me in to this predicament to begin with!!!
>>519421587>I was only pretending to be a faggot.Okay, faggot.
Op is not better than a poop lover pajeet
>>519421374>troon poster is obsessed about tranny pornWew what a plot twist never could have guessed you absolute faggot.
>>519421587Relax anon, that isnt you, you are not your addiction, porn addiction happens and it got out of hand but you can always get control. Its good that you're self aware so you are on the right path, most people here have seen some fucked up shit yet they dont admit they are just as degenerate as anything youve done.You need friends, you need to meet people (get a new hobby and meet people there). Just literally stop being online all the time. A lot of people buy into the tranny LARP because they spend so much time looking at anime porn or similar echo chambers, not to mention, they prey on mildly or full blown autistic people because they know autists want to be seen by the world, and seeing how women get so much attention/validation might make autistic people believe that trooning is the answer, trust me, these people will regret it, all of them.
>>519422236Correct. I was and am NOT a faggot, I repeat, NOT A FAGGOT. If I wanted to be one I would have done that, especially now more than ever since I've gone through the social destruction of being thought of as a the most extreme version of one. Although I must admit early on when the trauma with my friend happened I was pretty confused for a few years. I don't want kids to have to experience that and go through that confusion. It was hard enough for me at 16. I have no intention of feeding in to this. I mind my own business and till now I've kept the trap/crossdressing in a very small box. >>519422246STFU the only thing you have going for your country is Bukele >>519422528It started with being exposed to straight porn on my computer that some gooner built for my dad when I was 8. I saw this office blonde woman getting piped by a big BBC guy and it was interesting to say the least. over years the addiction just got worse. Straight -> extreme straight porn (gangbangs,anal, bdsm, etc) -> twinks -> traps -> tranny porn >>519423093Thank you for the kind perspective anon. This has been a very good wake up call for me. I was clearly heading in the wrong direction and I really think this fuck up was meant to be a learning experience for me
>>519421587turn to jesus, it wiil be rocky but all will turn out well[Rom 8:28 KJV] 28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.if u reject jesus, whats coming is coming
fucking kekJust say you went down some dark internet holes and that isn't who you are, or just pretend nothing happened and gaslight anyone who brings it up.Also stop masturbating stupid autistic coomer
>>519421374Canada status????
>>519423454>STFU the only thing you have going for your country is BukeleHurrr durrr, go watch some scat porn
>>519422528that ended up being a chic though
>>519423497based and christpilled
>>519421374>One that particularly kind of traumatized me was the post about them using tomato paste as a period or something along those lines.I think I was the first ever person to post that image to /pol/Sorry to destroy your life OP, what can I say, memes here are cognitohazards that can affect the mentally weak.Tbf it does sound like you would've turned into a giant trannyfaggot anyway.
>>519421374>>519421529>>519421587Lurking didn’t ruin your life being a cross dressing fag did
what the actual fuck did I just read, Canada? like wha...how?
>>519423497I have been slowly consuming more content that's leading me the direction of religion. I think it can fill the hole in my life that I've been filling with hedonism. Apart from this stupid tranny element I try my best to be a good person. I work hard, do my best and push everyone around me to be the best they can be too. >>519423569Don't even ask >>519423591You keep going there, why?
>>519423454"Porn addiction" is just an excuse men roll out when they don't want to take responsibility for themselves.Whatever made you dress like a hooker and put your revolting fetish all over the internet to the extent even boomers could dox you is in you, not the porn you sought out to watch.This thing is obviously out of control for you and I want to warn you that you are in danger of becoming a sex offender. Some boundaries that normal men should have are not in you.You can still turn back but the road you are on is an evil one. If you know you are autistic you must set strict boundaries for yourself. Find someone you trust with your life and talk to that person if you need a common sense check.
>>519423704It wasn't you directly though. It's my own fault. I've seen a lot of those sort of threads with some very gorey stuff. I've realized most things that evoke emotion can be a double edged sword. I went from hating the tranny BS seeing my friend do his thing to somehow jerking off tranny porn within a short timeframe. What's funny is this is similar to some of the super exaggerated anti-trans conservative people too. They peer too deep and get lost. The peace of mind of minding your own business and staying in your own lane is truly underrated >>519423856Okay fag >>519423949Fuck off we're full
>>519421587>that flagThis you?
>>519424540You can’t call anyone else a fag for the rest of your life nigger
>>519424373>You keep going there, why?I don't watch porn, I am a metalhead autist, buy a kosher smartphone that will stop you from watching porn since it has no browser and use your PC to do something cool like creating something or vidya games
>>519424834Red pill me on kosher smart phones, anon?
>>519424375Well of course I have to take responsibility for my own actions. I'm simply shining light on the elements that shaped me in to putting myself in this situation. My work provided a therapist service, i asked for a Christian therapist, I haven't been connected with one yet. I'm looking forward to speaking with someone who can hopefully actually provide some guidance. My biggest fear of seeking help is that due to the political nature of the situation most "professionals" just push you deeper in to this. My friend went to a "gender psychologist" or something right before he went full force. I am virtually a perfect person in all other elements of my life. This has been an extremely satisfying experience for people that don't like me. I see this as a true test of my character. Most people would've actually crumbled dealing with this. I want to over come and make this something worth laughing at down the road.
>>519424621KEK I forgot about this. >>519424782That's too long of a time out, best I can do is a few months. Take it or leave it.>>519424834First quality post by you in this whole thread. Really considering getting a "dumb" phone
>>519424919I don't think you can lose a fetish
>>519424888Check them out they are more accessible in US than here, just google it, they are more expensive modified version of a regular smartphone, without all the slop meant for goyim. Some of them still use flip phones to avoid the cameras, they can see u yk, but in general is better for your spiritual and mental health.You can customize which apps u want to have, they don't install social media apps or stuff like that just functional apps.
>>519424919>My biggest fear of seeking help is that due to the political nature of the situation most "professionals" just push you deeper in to this. My friend went to a "gender psychologist" or something right before he went full force.You are correct, Canada has state incentives to trannify people. Religious therapists might be better.You qualify as a detransitioner and reddit r/detrans might be able to help you with resources for people to find. The guy who runs this resource might be able to help too. He's been critical of trans activists for a long time.http://www.torontosexuality.ca/therapists.html>I am virtually a perfect person in all other elements of my life.Yeah, you're autistic.> I see this as a true test of my character. No man is an island. The true test is asking for help when you need it.
>>519425106>First quality post by you in this whole thread. Really considering getting a "dumb" phoneYou can "dumb down" your current one on the midtime, before I used to pay for apps subscriptions and other stuff like Spotify now I'm more selective with every information that enters my brain, even music I rather buy albums or songs to do mixtapes rather than paying for ever to listen music and slop, try it anon.>Also maybe kosher phones or flip phones doesn't explodeRemember Bibi said if you hold a smartphone you hold a piece of Israel right there
>>519425176This sounds like a good idea, desu. I will def look into it. I only want to be able to make calls and text. At the same time, I don't want to have to press the buttons a thousand times each to spell out the words like with a flip phone. Thanks for the info.
>>519425547Yw anon:)
>>519423454You sound like an impulsive exhibitionist with a plethora of excuses. Typical. You put yourself in a position to get raped, or do the raping. You act as if this is just a minor character flaw. This will not end well for you and you cannot suppress it for long. You are a sexual deviant. You need Jesus son
>>519425132It's extremely porn induced. I've cut off porn for several months and focused on working out, being outdoors a lot and just away from screens and kept out of my goonercave apartment to see this all go away. The core problem is that I don't have a gf or a real relationship to fill the void. I return to porn and the cycle begins again. The lack of purpose really messes with my brain it needs a lot of stimulus. >>519425176>>519424888The "lightphone" is quite nice. It's very presentable but an old-school flip phone might be cheaper >>519425448Thank you for the resources. I will check it out!
>>519425979You're likely right but does this make me a bad person at a core level?
>>519424540SPAIN IS IN EUROPE YOU DUMB FUCKING CATTLE AND WE ARE FULL TOO
>>519426118Unless you are hurting others. No
>>519425982>I don't have a gf or a real relationship to fill the voidLurk the semen retention general thread on x/ sometimes is there idk if what they say is accurate supposely it takes like 60-72 days for your body to restore from the gooner cycle ( chatgpt said the same) also raising your T levels by not gooning will give you more mental clarity and confidence that u can use to get a gf, lucky I have one but when I see her I just contain myself and use that energy for something more useful even just to practice self control is good enough.Remember enable the safety search on your browser and keep it on so you avoid degen content, idk how your life is like if you are in social environments but I hope you get a gf soon and depending on your generation you might need keep a secondary smartphone to comunicate with her ( idk snapchat, whatsapp ) at first, once you catch her you can tell her that ur more into calls or smt, just delete the browser. Good luck anon
>>519426672>when I see herWhen I don't*
>>519426147This beach could fix me :')>>519426613That's always been my approach to this but seeing the hurt I've caused others in my life who now have to process this makes me feel sad honestly. It was going to end badly either way. Although uncomfortable, this has forced me to really look at this problem objectively. Hence why I even made this thread, I need different perspectives. >>519426672>>519426741I will try out your suggestions anon. I really appreciate your insights. It's getting a bit late going to head to bed. Have a good night :)
>>519426937>Have a good night :)U2 anon Good luck!
>>519426147>>519426937omg forgot to attach beach!!!
>>519422528Degenerate is degenerate.Amazing!
>>519426118you're as normal as anyone else here. we all do/think weird shit at one time or another. at least now you know what not to do. good luck.
>>519421374kill yourself, gay little brown boy
