How would /pol/ handle the Kobayashi Maru scenario?
I wouldn't because I'm not the wonder kike that is kirk. Oh he's so brave and dreamy leading all the goyim as captain.
>>519517643With Captain Kirk
>>519517711He just cheated,Chekov did a suicide bombing to kill the Klingon shipsSulu never engaged and followed the Galactic LawScotty literally killed everyone, destroying over 20 klingon ships before the instructor turned the simulator off.
>>519517643The point isn't to solve it, but to handle it well as you make a good effort to solve it. To stare imminent death in the face and be able to carry on.
Most based response? Torpedoing the Maru and the Klingons with it.
>>519517902That’s why I said handle it and not solve it
>>519517643Feed it sushi laced with tapeworm eggs.
>>519518128sushi can gave tapeworms unless you lace it and they only live in the gut lining
>"I don't believe in a unwinnable situation."Love that line.
>>519517643Target India and launch a spread of photon torpedos.
>How would /pol/ handle...Blame it on the jews
>>519517643I haven't seen that anime yet
>>519517643By cheating.
>>519517643Send in empty shuttlecraft for the rescue. Remote pilot them without entering the Neutral Zone. Once the Klingons are detected, the jig is up.
>>519517711James Tiberius Kirk is a Scots-Irish from Iowa.
>>519517643By simply not believing in the no-win scenario, I will conjure victory into reality.
>>519517643have sex with greeen lady (negro)
>>519517643Destroy the K. Maru, set self destruct timer on enterprise (ensuring no survivors in case disabled), try to ram the biggest Klingon ship while picking off as many smaller ones as possible.
>>519521908That’s the answer Chekov gives in canon.
Can my ship travel at warp faster than the enemy?Can my ship either tow a 50 billion ton metal asteroid via tracktor beam or direct bonding with and expansion of warp field?Disengage, locate big rock, tow to warp speed as high as possible, achieve large percentage of light speed, target enemy homeworld...broadcast event on subspace channels for the entire galaxy to learn what happens when you fuck with humans.
I would fuck it up while chewing on a apple calmly to show everyone how cool I am.
>>519517643I would use the photonic cannon.
>>519517643By the regulations and with the cold dignity of a mayday pilot going down
>>519518128This is why all fish, including sushi, is typically frozen before preparation. Even in high end restaurants.
>>519520710This... and use a chain of shuttlecraft as teleport points if the distance to the disabled ship gets too far. Teleport and use shuttle craft for rescue.Klingons arrive, explain situation from heind thhe neutral zone and get ready to blast.Also... Picard maneuver.
>>519517643Ready the manhole-cover launchers.
>>519526801Computer, activate the Emergency Chad Hologram!
>>519517643Use the Transwarp transporter and teleport the Kobayashi Maru crew directly to Earth without ever violating Neutral Zone territory.
>>519517643call q, go back in time, launch covert operation to fix broken drive coil, highfives and drinks bois, wtf easy day in simulator, passes class by one point, graduates, moment of silence from all the head bosses, crashes starship, has to call q again to keep starship license, meet vaush, uh oh she has a picard, its okay, picard his balls drained smiles pleasantly on risa.
>>519517643We bait and bail lmao
What is Kobayashi Maru scenario?
>>519523316Books aren't canon
>>519517643Yell racial slurs about klingons.
>>519518283Only beef tapeworms live exclusively in the gut lining, other tapeworms like pork tapeworms can live anywhere, including the brain.
>>519517838Sulu is such a fag
>>519517643Destroy the Kobayashi Maru and blame it on the Klingons. Peace with the Klingon empire is a grave mistake. Human survival depends on their total annihilation.
>>519525321This. Don't fuck with humanity.
>>519518128how do you even deal with this? You can't tell me those dumb little worming chocolates you buy for kids with itchy arses would do anything in that scenario. I like sushi bros.. fuck
Go to the holodeck, have it create simulations of troi and dax, and have sex with both of them at the same time, broadcast it live to the km, later on at the court marshal deny everything and blame a klingon infiltrator attempting to defame me, because the premise is so ridiculous and i wouldn't have any motive.
>>519534413This simulation is circa 2280 or so. Troi and Jadzia hadn't been born yet. Dax was probably a dude. Holodecks were rudimentary.
>>519533717The Organians won't allow a war.
>>519534535Uhhhh i guess it's also pre klingon foreheads, so i just put some redshirts in brownface and green clothes and hail the klingon ship and say i wanna do a prisoner exchange
>>519518283Those images are from an Asian dude who ate tapeworm sushi. He ate sushi all the time and insisted that it was as fresh as possible. Bears are famous for getting tapeworms from eating fish.
>>519517643like this
>>519533083this is the way
>>519517643Enter the neutral zoneGet the Klingons to shoot the ship knowing we can't save itUse the event modifier to press diplomatic charge against the KlingonsMake them participate in amending the Neutral Zone treaty so that rescue operations are permitted under surveillance.The lost cause is a 1-time incident and the incident will never happen again.That's the only way to win the Kobayashi Maru: ensuring it can never occur again.But if you wanna just run silent, shut off all transponders, minimise the sensor footprint and dip in like a submarine using a tractor beam to yank them out, by all means go do it U-boot style.The incident will happen again, and again, and again, thus the challenge isn't beaten.
>>519517643By deleting the entire simulation>since it likes to spy on me and create bullshit threads on my most recent yt historyOtherwise I like the Sulu approach>Takei can die in a fire though
>>519533245Who has the video?
>>519527171THISalsoForgot Scotty's approach was BADASSBut it would never work irl (Scotty exploited combat theory within the simulation)
>>519535814jeez I thought about eating some bear meat now I am having second thoughts
>>519517643Just bring a pair of scissors and cut off the Kling ons.Flush toiletKlingons destroyed
>>519536902Kek I dont but I know what you are talking about
>>519536627
>>519532975From Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan. In a training mission they get a distress call from a freighter called the Kobayshi Maru. It's disabled in enemy territory. If you cross into enemy territory to save them, you get ambushed by enemy ships. It's a no-win scenario.
First I would tariff the Klingons, start at 100% and go up from there if they don't negotiate. Then I would preemptively bomb Bajor's fire caves as a warning for them to stop interfering in the Cardassian-Indian war. I'd tell the Vulcans they need to accept territorial losses and END THE WAR! As for the Kobayashi Maru, they were good people on that ship, the best actually they tell me they were the best. It's terrible the way they died, screaming in agony, scared, begging for help. "Help!" They cried, that's all they wanted. I talked to their families, good people the best people, and they all told me the same thing they said, "we have to get over it. Move forward. The Federation needs you now more than ever."
>>519534571You don’t need a loicense for war we’re not in the UK
>>519538093maybe this is a joke but it's pretty reasonable especially if rescuing the ship means everyone does anyway
In all seriousness; isnt the correct answer to contact starfleet command and ask them what they want? It really seems like a far more nuanced situation than some individual captain should be making the call on. Depending on the current political state it could be; follow the rules, let the freighter drift and everyone on board suffocate or get captured, it's not a big deal or we'll prisoner exchange later. It could also very well be, just fuckin attack and destroy everything no witnesses we'll make a story, we've been looking for a casus belli and this will be a perfect false flag to kick shit off.Like i think context is incredibly important here as far as what the right move is. A "good captain" should be ready to follow orders, be it obey the treaty (do nothing), or commit war crimes in the name of your nation (destroy the km, klingons, and sacrifice your ship and crew in the process if necessary [no escape pods because no survivors for the falseflag story to hold up long term])
