what kind of realpolitik is necessary here:ive spent the past 15 years masturbating and being sad on the computer, i have subpar verbal and nonverbal reasoning (clinical assessment), my amygdala is hyperactive and i have mild frontal lobe damage (brain scan), i've spent the past 6 years blasting my brain with highly potent THC doses almost daily, i'm short, i have bad skin, i haven't felt well rested in 5 years, i have $15 in my checking account, i don't have any skills including basic ones like knowing to drive a car, my friends are gone, family is mired in conflict and resentment my mother literally smokes weed and cigarettes indoors around her two new children all day and i ruined thanksgiving by calling it out and im now alienated from half of my white trash family, my dad is chronically alone and told me he considers suicide a lot, i don't harbor any specific dreams or ambitions i can't manifest complex ideas or plans in my head, im so underweight you can see all my ribs, i am clinically diagnosed with autism, CPTSD, ADHD, OCD, and major depression. i live in america and not Haiti or something and i have a clean record, so that's kind of goodim genuinely, unironically, bewildered by emotional defeat. i am not joking at all when i say that i don't know what to do with my life except work up the nerve to maybe end it before it gets any worse. my life is such a multi layered shit storm that i don't even know if i have the essential clarity to articulate this in its entirety to a therapist. can't just join the army eitherplease, may i have a modicum of your grace, help, anybody. any advice. half of a reluctant syllable, anything. anything. i am human and i'm alone
Get sober, in shape, on a good sleep schedule and on a good diet. I guarantee this will solve half your problems and put you in the right state of mind to start solving the other half
Nothing wrong with smoking indoors, maybe you should try it and stop the weed; nicotine could help with some of those conditions much more than THC.
>>522601270>i am clinically diagnosed with autism, CPTSD, ADHD, OCD, and major depressionyou fell into the therapist narrative. there's no help for you now>noo there's no point exercising, getting my vitamin d and stopping smoking, i have le trauma and need to pay a marxist $100 an hour forever to fix it
>>522601270Hey I have some of those. Short, OCD, broke, panic attacks, smoke weed at night.Im telling you, the way is to make goals and pursue them. The only rule is it has to be something you can do SOMETHING in service of every day, even if its for 10 minutes.I lift weights, I work, and i put away what little I can for a tiny house. Thats what I fight for.
>>522601270> scientists and doctors and therapists told me I'm subhuman my whole life, my family is broken and I don't even try to be socialUnironically, seek GodNone of that shit matters, you are not broken, the world is broken.Just sit down by yourself, no weed, no internet, and think on why your life sucks and how you can fix itStop comparing yourself to other people, just try to be better than the man you were yesterday
>>522601753btw i'm 33 year old (or 34? can't even fucking remember), permavirgin, never had a fulltime job, no friends since high school, kinda ugly face, socially inept, no driver's license, sexually perversei still love my lifeall you need in life to be happy is a goal to work towards, mine is learning languages and training my body. wake up and make progress towards something every day. weed is antithetical to this
>>522601270I spent the years gaming and smoke the ganja and carry the tism and can't seem to get the girlPolitical implications is be pissed off inside and demand your rights and hit on women and resist tyranny; don't let them convince you you're gay or a woman or that everything's hopeless.
>>522601270What do you want to do?
>>522601270Start hiking. Exhaust yourself every day and spend as much time outside as you can. Set a long term goal and then find "medium rock" goals you can achieve every week in service to the long term goal. Also, stop smoking weed. That stuff is terrible for you and will prevent any real introspection/emotional development. Drugs are really just a replacement for a relationship you lack.I am sorry to hear about your family situation. There is family by blood and family by choice. Get out and about, show up to life, and start meeting people.I was suicidal as well for a while. I joined the military which gave me structure and role models, although I would really not recommend doing that. Having a group to be accountable to and do things with is a huge help. There are probably hiking groups in your area you can find online pretty easily. Great way to meet people.I agree with the Anon who told you to seek God. That is really important as well. If you can't stomach Christianity start with Neoplatonism and meditation, which will help you be present in the moment. I would recommend Transcendental Meditation (very simple and effective if stuck to for a while).If you are overwhelmed with your situation remember that time only moves in one direction. All that is bad will pass, the future is bright if you make it so and are strong enough to show up to it.
